Dreamworld.....

[jayden]

WWE Smackdown

Friday 8th September

TV Rating: 6.04

Attendance: 7519

I’m taking over!

The show fires into action five minutes earlier than scheduled and the scene is more than uneasy. Muhammad Hassan stands in the ring with a microphone while four armed gunmen stand behind him, guarding six people in long cloaks, with hoods tied round their necks, all on their knees in a line.

Hassan: People of Smackdown, you see before you six lives held in the palm of my hand, six American lives ready to end and the blood will be on the hands of America and Vince McMahon! This is the land where the dollar rules supreme, and your American Dollar is as powerful as anyone’s Mr McMahon. Calm heads and the power of your money will determine the death toll tonight, panic brings death, aggression brings death, hostility brings death, only justice and the all powerful Dollar puts an end to the bloodshed tonight. Every entrance to the arena is locked and guarded, nobody out, nobody in. Two years ago to this day six Iraqi men were wrongly sentenced to double life sentences by the American Justice system for their part in a terrorist attack on Washington. Two hundred and ninety seven American people were reported dead that day, yet more American propaganda against my people. Today we trade, those six lives given back, justice served, for these six American lives with me in the ring. As a gesture of goodwill for the terror these innocent men have suffered, $20m will be transferred to a Turkish bank account, and assurances will be made that we can leave this building and live without fear. Vince McMahon your American dollar can buy all of these things, until it does, one hostage dies in this ring every thirty minutes. In just four hours this building is rigged to explode, taking with it any remnants of live left inside. To make your thought process a little easier Mr McMahon, here is the life that will be terminated in thirty minutes!

Hassan steps over to one of the hostages and unties his hood, pulling it off over his head revealing SHANE McMAHON with his mouth gagged

Hassan: Thirty minutes grace Mr McMahon, then the killing begins! Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock!

74

Pull yourself together!!

An enraged Vince McMahon paces the room backstage, while Triple H sits with his head in his hands and Linda McMahon leans back against a wall, one foot up on it, with a “fuck me” look on her face

Vince: Get out there DAMMIT! Do something Hunter! This is my show, I’m Vince Motherfucking McMahon! GET OUT THERE NOW!!

Triple H: *sob* memories are just where she laid them, drag the *sob* waters, til the depth give up their dead, what did she expect to find? *sob*sob* Was it something she left behind? Doesn’t she remember anything I said, when I said, don’t fall away, and leave me to *sob* myself *sob*, don’t fall away, and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again! Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands… love lies bleeding *sob*sob*sob*!

Vince: GODAMMIT He’s worse than that snivelling halfbake Robinson, who invited him into the family anyway? Linda, DO SOMETHING! That’s our Son out there!

Linda: And what do…

Linda stops as two big men in kilts barge into the room

Rory: I’m Rory, and this is mah cousin Robbie!

Robbie: I’M ROBBIE!

Rory: Aye, we’re from Scotland, the land without urinals!

Vince: YOU’LL DO DAMMIT! GET OUT THERE! GET ME MY SHOW BACK! NOW! NOW!!! GET OUT THERE AND TAKE OUT THOSE TERRORISTS!!!

The Highlanders just look confused

Linda: Boys, there’s loads of Haggis out under the ring tonight, but you have to take out the guy with the towel on his head to get it, you understand?

Rory: Oh aye!

Robbie: I’M ROBBIE!

90

The Highlanders Vs The Terrorists

The Highlanders come out from the back and charge the ring as the petrified crowd gasps. Hassan orders two of his terrorists to leave the ring and deal with them. The Terrorists back up a wee bit as the Highlanders pull up their kilts and flash their peckers, but it only serves to encourage to the terrorists to lift up their guns and pump bullets into the Highlanders chests. Robbie flies back with the impact, blood spurting from his chest as it starts to flow from his mouth, his body dead before it even hits the floor. Rory takes a couple of shots but stays on his feet, trying to take a step forward as he clutches his stomach, before a final more measured shot straight to his forehead drops him in an instant

The Highlanders lost by death

53, 56, 62

More blood in the family!

After some moments of panic and the terrorists tossing the dead bodies backstage the gunmen regrouped in the ring as Hassan grabbed his microphone again

Hassan: Mr McMahon, the lack of value you place on your own Son’s life disgusts me. You American’s preach the value of family but one of your own let his Son die in this ring tonight, choosing his American dollar over his flesh and blood. Thirty minutes are up Mr McMahon

Two of the terrorists grab Shane’s arm, holding him on his knees as another grabs Shane’s hair in his hand and pulls his head up, crashing a huge machete into Shane’s throat, slicing his head right off. Thick blood bursts up from his neck as the terrorists release the body and it drops to the floor twitching. The head, still held by the terrorist is placed on one of the turnbuckles, dripping blood down the ring

Hassan: I should have known we’d get to this point, maybe I should save the best til last, bring me the fattie instead!

The terrorists drag forward another hostage and quickly untie his hood, pulling it off.

Hassan: The next man to die is Jim Ross, thirty minutes, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock!

68

Man on a mission

Wife banging referee Charles Robinson is backstage as a random janitor mops floors behind him. There’s a monitor playing the show which Robinson seems to have been watching

Robinson: My God! Maybe that’s why Steph wasn’t here to meet me tonight, and, my baby? Shit, I gotta do something!

Robinson looks around before seeing a grill covering some kinda vent high up on the wall. He calls over the janitor

Robinson: Hey, hey you, if I were to rip that grill off and climb into that vent, where would it take me?

Janitor: Ummmmm, well, pretty much anywhere you wanted to go Sir, once you’re inside there, there’s tunnels leading all over this building. I wouldn’t go in there if I were you though Sir, rumour has it these tunnels are plagued with demons

Robinson: You leave that up to me dumpy, get me a ladder, I’m goin’ in

30

The FBI takeover

Vince, Triple H, and Linda are still in the office backstage watching the show on a monitor. Vince is angry, while Hunter’s still whining

Triple H: Don’t fall away *sob*, and leave me to myself. Don’t fall away, and leave love bleeding *sob*sob* in my hands, in my hands again. Leave love bleeding in my hands *sob*, in my hands love lies bleeding, and I wanted. She turned away, she won’t remember, but I do. She never even tried *sob*sob*sob*

Vince: Somebody do something dammit, shut him up!

Linda: What’s the…..

The door flew open and two men in black suits stepped through the door

Vince: Who in the hell are you? Get the hell out of my office, NOW DAMMIT! GET OUT NOW!

Man: Mr McMahon, we’re with the FBI, I’m Special Agent Helms, and this is…..

Man 2: FBI Agent Kennedyyyyyyyyy!

Vince: How the hell did you get in here. I don’t….

the second man leaps forward at McMahon, startling him

Man 2: KENNEDYYYYYYYYYY! We’re in control now and we have this situation locked down tight Mr McMahon. I don’t want any of you leaving this office, all the exits to the building are sealed. You’re just lucky we were already snooping around the place when we heard what was going on in the ring. Now, do you have any idea who else could be out there as Hassan’s hostages?

Linda: Nobody’s seen that skankwhore daughter of ours, or our Granddaughter all day, but I’m sure you two strong FBI agents can sort out all our problems right now

Linda licks her lips as she looks straight at Helms

Helms: WHASSUPWIDAT? Ma’am, don’t you worry though, we got it all under control. These terrorists are messing with the wrong FBI motherfuckers!

Kennedy: That’s right, and in case you missed it, that name once again, is, AGEEEEEEEENT KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYY!

The two agents leave the room. Vince turns to Linda before being startled by the door flying open again and a face getting straight up into his

Kennedy: KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

73

The Terrorists Vs Paul London & Bryan Kendrick

Paul London and Bryan Kendrick have also been watching the events on a randomly placed backstage monitor

Kendrick: Duuuuuuuude, like, totally rippin brah! This is like some movie or somethin’, like, cowabunga!

London: We gotta get outta here, and fast, hmmm, we could hatch some cunning plan to sneak our way out but instead, why not just try the front door?

Kendrick: Man, gimme some skin. Air Five duuuuude

Kendrick sends an Air Five London’s way as both men walk down the corridor to the front entrance of the building. There’s two gunmen guarding the door

Kendrick: Hey Mr Gunman dude, I was wondering if we could like, go catch some air

Terrorist: Nobody in, nobody out. One more step and you die

London: Hey man, it’s ok, lemme try. Hey there Mr Terrorist, like, SHIT, your foot’s on fire!

The terrorist looks down for a second as London and Kendrick high five and try to run past, but both terrorist’s look back up and they’re forced to stop in their tracks

Kendrick: Ok, ok, like, seriously, you should let us…… HOLY SHIT! PINK ELEPHANTS AND LEMONADE, 12 O CLOCK!

The terrorists turn around, obviously seeing nothing there, as London and Kendrick make another charge. This time the Terrorists turn round and shoot the two morons in the head, blood pissing out of the holes left in the craniums, their lifeless bodies dropping to the floor in a heap

The Terrorists win by death

67, 69, 82

Time to strike a deal

Special Agents Helms and Kennedy come out onto the stage and look down towards Hassan and his terrorists, and the remaining hostages in the ring

Hassan: Ahhh, I wondered when I’d get this kind of attention. America’s pride and joy, the FBI. Am I being too optimistic to think you’re out here to agree to my demands?

Helms: We’re the FBI, we’re in control now, so just hand over the hostages and we’ll let you walk away a free man

Hassan: Hahahahah, typical arrogant American, you think you can come out here and live off your ego, you think that I will just hand over the hostages and give up now? The American people are lazy, quitters, but not I. No negotiations, meet my demands or I kill someone, now!

Kennedy: You’re bluffing, we’re in control now Hassan. We’re the FBI! You’re not gonna kill anyone!

Hassan points to an old lady sipping absinthe in the front row and immediately one of the terrorists points his gun in her direction and blows her head off as fans all around her start frantically panicking and running in circles

Kennedy: Hah! Well, you think my balls aren’t bigger than that? You’re just trying to test us, you wouldn’t kill anyone else!

Hassan turns to another one of the gunmen and points out into the crowd again, this time at a hot looking silicone injected bimbo on the other side. The terrorist aims his gun and shoots her in the tits sending her falling backwards into yet more frantic fans

Kennedy: You think you can scare us just like…

Agent Helms cuts Kennedy off

Helms: I think we know you mean business Hassan, but just understand that we’re only gonna walk backstage and leave you in peace now, because we want to, not because we have to, so nerr!

Hassan: Haha, typical American pigheadedness. Before you leave you may wish to bear witness to the next execution. Men, take out old saggy face

Two terrorists grab Ross by the arms as another takes hold of his hair and lifts up his head. The machete is driven into Ross’ throat and his head sliced clean off. Blood spurts all over the already drenched terrorists as they calmly place the head onto a second turnbuckle. Hassan seems pleased and points to another hostage as they quickly remove his hood

Hassan: Thirty more minutes, you understand my demands. The next man to be executed in your name Vince McMahon, is Chris Masters!

72

Charles Robinson Vs The Terrorists

Charles Robinson crawls through a claustrophobic tunnel backstage, seeing light towards the end. As he gets there he sees an opening underneath him. Robinson stops to look down below, seeing two terrorists guarding one of the arena exits directly below him. As the terrorists talk between themselves Robinson carefully pulls up the grill and slides himself into position waiting for the perfect moment. Without warning the plucky wife fucker falls through the gap and lands on top of both terrorists, knocking both to the ground. Robinson quickly clutches the gun one of them was carrying and rolls across the floor, spinning round and up in one fluid motion and opening fire on one of the terrorists, shooting him repeatedly in the balls, his blood curdling screams filling the corridor as he collapses in a heap. The second terrorist seems to be getting somebody on a radio mic somewhere on his shirt, as he reaches out for his gun but Robinson quickly shoots his hand clean off and walks towards him. Robinson stands over the terrorist, screaming and clutching his blood spurting wrist as he looks up at Robinson, begging for forgiveness.

Robinson: You know who I am?

Terrorist: N-N-No

Robinson: I’m the referee Son!

Robinson pumped bullet after bullet into the terrorists head, blood and brain splattering over the walls as his body began to spasm uncontrollably.

Robinson: You broke the rules!

Meanwhile……

In the ring one of the terrorists seemed to be getting some sounds coming through a radio on his chest. The terrorists seemed panicked as the gunshots could be heard, and then a voice…. “You broke the rules!”

Hassan: Who’s doing this? Two of you, get back there, find this man. Mr McMahon!!! My patience is wearing thin! You DO NOT want to push me all the way! You two, GO!

Two of the terrorists ran backstage

Charles Robinson wins by death

44, 37, 62

We’re the FBI, we’re in control!!!!

Backstage Vince, Linda, Triple H and FBI Agents Helms and Kennedy, are watching the show on a monitor, seeing the panic of the terrorists and Hassan sending two of them backstage to flush out the killer

Helms: WHASSUPWIDAT? Who the hell you got in this building McMahon?

Vince: I, I don’t know, GET THEM IN HERE! I WANT THAT MAN IN HERE NOW DAMMIT! NOW!!

Linda: Wait, is this recording? Play it back and turn up the volume

Agent Kennedy plays back the video as Linda listens in, “I’m the referee Son! [rapid gunfire and screaming] You broke the rules!”. She takes control, playing it over and over, “I’m the referee Son!”… “I’m the referee!”

Linda: It’s Robinson!

83

The wrong man, in the wrong place, at the wrong time!

Two terrorists come back into the arena, dragging a bewildered Mike Knox with them. They start talking to Hassan in Islam.

Hassan: This man killed two of our men in the back. They will forever go down as great servants of their beliefs, martyrs in their homeland dying for the greater cause. You Mike Knox, you will die for your sins. Execute him

The terrorists push him to the floor and pump him with bullets. Immediately in the ring two terrorists grab Chris Masters and behead him, the ring now a putrid mess of congealed blood and plasma. They angrily drag another hostage forward, kicking and screaming, and pull off his hood revealing Hardcore Holly,

Hassan: Tick tock, tick tock, the clock is ticking Mr McMahon, and I grow tired of your stall tactics. Your FBI agents cost lives, your ace in the hole is now dead, your own Son, dead, the only thing you have left is your American Dollar. Buy your way out of this situation, just like you American people throw money at all of your society’s problems. The clock is ticking Mr McMahon, you do not want to push me all the way!

Meanwhile…..

Vince, Linda, Triple H and FBI Agents Helms & Kennedy are trying to hatch a plan in the office

Kennedy: They got the wrong man, somebody find me contact with this Robinson. We can’t have him running around here killing terrorists and saving the day. We’re the FBI, we’ve got this situation under control! I’m AGEEEEEEEEENT KENNEDYYYYYYYY……………………….. ………………… KENNEDYYYYYYYY

62

WILL TRIPLE H GROW SOME BALLS? CAN CHARLES ROBINSON SUCCEED WHERE THE HIGHLANDERS, KENDRICK & LONDON AND MIKE KNOX FAILED BEFORE HIM? WHO’S NEXT ON THE SLAUGHTERLIST? SMACKDOWN RETURNS AFTER THIS SHORT COMMERCIAL BREAK

Show Rating: 62

Edited September 1, 2006 by jayden

[MDP]

That was great, I loved the whole Kennedy angle. It may not have been as funny as your other shows but it was still good. You have Vince down really well which makes him funny saying GO DAMNIT! every five minutes. Keep it up, I wanna see more Spirit Squad bukkake!

[JStarr]

Closed and moved to the deep Web.