WWE 2007 - Certain Tragedy

[RPS]

ECW on SciFi

Tuesday, January 9th 2007

”Featuring the biggest names in Extreme wrestling.”

We get the ECW Introduction video and than the shot of a life audience. As the show kicks off, we see that Joey Styles is in the ECW announce booth, and beside him is the Sandman. The Sandman is frank in stating that he kicked Michael Cole and Tazz too the corner and brought ECW back to it’s roots. He states that he’ll be doing announcing duties, as well as being the General Manager of Smackdown. He cracks open a beer and guzzles it down before slamming it into his forehead. Styles seems pipes in ‘classy’. The Sandman says he brought the fans a night of ass kicking and Extreme wrestling that the fans won’t ever forget.

Match Number One : Psicosis /w Super Crazy versus Matt Striker (Cruiserweight Title Contender Match)

The Sandman comments that he made sure ECW was included in the Cruiserweight title match at Royal Rumble, so the winner of this bout will square off against Helms and Funaki. The Sandman also comments that Super Crazy has been entered into the Royal Rumble. The match kicks off with Matt Striker going through the basic moves, but Pscisosis simply works circles around him. He goes for a quick roll up, but Striker manages to kick out at the last second. Crazy tries to sneak into the ring, but Striker catches him. This distraction allows for Psicosis to sneak up and hit him from behind. Eventually, Striker cannot keep up with Psicosis and finds himself on the receiving end of the Guillotine Leg drop! Psicosis gets the three count and advances too the Royal Rumble for the Cruiserweight title match.

Post-match, Danny Doring and Roadkill hit the ring and attack the Mexicools. Doring and Roadkill eventually clear the ring and taunt their new-found enemies. As the Mexicools walk up the ramp, High Impact appear out of no where and attack them from behind with chairs. High Impact are attacked by the F.B.I. Essentially, a huge brawl ensues between the four teams as The Sandman hypes up that this bar-brawl type action can only be seen on ECW as we head to a commercial break.

Winner: Psicosis

When we return, we see that Kelly Kelly is backstage with Test and Mike Knox. Kelly, in typcial fashion, is wearing a skimpy outfit that Knox doesn’t seem to pleased that she is wearing. Knox attempts to cover her up, but Kelly Kelly slaps his hand.

Kelly Kelly

“I can wear whatever the hell I want.”

Mike Knox

“Not if you wanna keep all dem teeth!”

Test

“Shouldn’t you be making us some food, darlin?”

Kelly Kelly

“Is that the way you treat the woman who got you both entries in the Royal Rumble?”

Mike Knox

“You only got ‘dem there spots cuz of those services provided to the Sandman.”

The camera closes in on the Sandman, who is wearing a smile a mile wide. Joey Styles asks him if is true and The Sandman says that he accepts bribes in all shapes and forms. Styles comments “tight ship you are running here” and the Sandman comments “oh it was a tight ship, Styles.”

Mike Knox

“Tonight, when we go out there tonight for our match with Doring and Roadkill, you just remember Kelly Kelly, that you are my property. I own you.”

Kelly Kelly

“You think you owe me?”

Test

“He doesn’t think he owns you darlin’, he KNOWS own you.”

Kelly Kelly

“Whatever.”

Kelly Kelly proceeds to walk away while Knox and Test slowly follow behind her.

Match Number Two : Maven Huffman versus Stevie Richards versus Renee Dupree (EXTREME RULES)

The match kicks off in only a way ECW can kick off – with lots and lots of weapons. Richards throws a trash can of goodies into the ring and Dupree and Huffman look lost on what to do. Styles and the Sandman mention that Richards was injured last week by Hardcore Holly, who put him through a table. Huffman searches through the trash can and arms himself with a singapore can while Renee Dupree arms himself with a cross. Richards looks confused, but his confusion is solved when Kevin Thorne makes his way towards the ring with Ariel and the abducted referee from last week by his side. The camera gets a close-up of the referee who clearly has two bite marks on his neck. Thorne points at Renee Dupree as he, Ariel and the referee surround the ring. Dupree seeks out the last available option as he rolls out of the ring and runs towards the backstage area. Thorne chases after him, but out of no where comes Hardcore Holly with a chair shot. Holly just stopped Kevin Thorne dead in his tracks with the stiffest chair shot in a long time. As soon as Holly turns around though, Renee Dupree attacks him! The two exchange lefts and rights as they head up the ramp. Dupree watches as Kevin Thorne is quick too his feet, so he and Holly disappear behind the curtain as Ariel and Vampire Referee slowly trail behind them. The Sandman is so enthused with the action that just went down, that he says at the Royal Rumble – things are getting Extreme. He is booking a match – Kevin Thorne versus Renee Dupree versus Hardcore Holly in a Extreme Rules match! As we head to commercial break, Joey Styles has an orgasm about how awesome the match is going to be.

When we return, Maven Huffman whips Richards into the ropes and hits a hip toss onto a trash can. Maven Huffman takes his sweet time before covering and only gets a two count. Huffman picks up a chair and he sets it up. He goes to drop toe hold Richards on it, but Richards grabs him by the head and hits a face buster onto the chair. Richards is signaling for a come back, but he pulls a StevieKick out of no where that stops Huffman dead in his tracks. Stevie hooks the leg and gets the three count! The fans pop big time for the Richards victory, as he has his hand raised by the referee. The Sandman is quick to denounce the effort by Maven, saying he expected more from him. The Sandman states that Stevie Richards just earned himself a spot in the Royal Rumble, and that Maven was going to have to bring his A-Game next week if he still wanted to be involved in ECW. We head to commercial break as Maven takes the walk of shame.

Winner: Maven

When we return, we see that Tommy Dreamer is applying tape too his hands as he sits on a bench. He runs his hands through his hair as he seems to be preparing himself from something later on tonight. The camera pans out and we see that CM Punk is standing at the door way of the room, staring at Tommy Dreamer. Tommy Dreamer seems to be ignoring his presence, so CM walks up and sits right beside Tommy Dreamer.

CM Punk

“Hey Tommy!”

Tommy Dreamer

“Cut the crap, what do you want Punk?”

CM Punk

“What do I want? Nothing, man. Just want to sit here and chill with my new bud, Tommy Dreamer.”

Tommy Dreamer

“I told you, man, cut the sarcasm and cut the crap. What the hell do you want?”

CM Punk stands up now, as he is faking being offended by Tommy Dreamer’s remarks. The entire situation isn’t sitting well with Tommy, who applies more tape to his wrists.

CM Punk

“Oh Tommy. Last week, we went out and we clicked as a team. We delivered the goods. And now, I’ve got a shot in the Royal Rumble. All because of team work.”

Tommy Dreamer

“I am going to tell you one last time to cut the PSA, and to get down to business.”

CM Punk

“You know as well as I do why I am here. I don’t know why, but Sandman did it again. He paired us up. We are taking on Justin Credible and Balls Mahoney, the self proclaimed defenders of the ECW brand. These are two guys you’ve fought along side, who have made you bleed and who have taken part in some of the most classic matches in the history of wrestling. And here you are – teaming with some punk ass kid who hasn’t even ‘paid his dues’ yet.”

Tommy Dreamer

“You think that is running through my head?”

CM Punk

“I KNOW it is running through your head. You can’t stop thinking about it. You can’t stop thinking about CM Punk. The straight edge kid, who doesn’t drink, who doesn’t use drugs, who doesn’t believe in promiscuous behavior. You must be thinking that I am the anti-thesis to everything you worked so hard to create. You worked so hard too create Extreme Championship Wrestling and than I came along. It threatens you, doesn’t it?” (CM Punk is right in the face of Tommy Dreamer now)

Tommy Dreamer

“You know, Punk, if you have these ideals, why did you sign up with ECW? Why didn’t you go to Smackdown, or RAW? Huh?”

CM Punk

“Are you kidding me? You don’t know why?” (Tommy Dreamer shakes his head no) “I came because despite what Eric Bischoff said in the early 90’s, this is where the big boys came to play. Maven stated last week that he joined ECW because he thought it was going to be a helluva lot easier to reach the top a lot quicker. I think the opposite. Balls Mahoney, Stevie Richards, Hardcore Holly, Tommy Dreamer, Test and Knox, Doring and Roadkill… you guys are some of the toughest SOB’s that are in this business. There ain’t no way I am making it to the top without a fight. And I am going to step in the ring, week in and week out and give it 110%, so I make it to the top. Despite my personal beliefs on the sordid state of affairs in ECW, I came here to wrestle. And love me or hate me, but I wrestle with the best of them. I came here to tell you, that I respect you, but I hate you. In the ring, we are partners, but outside the ring I hate you. I hate you, and I hate your lifestyle, and I hate what you represent. But I don’t know anybody else who can take an ass kicking like you, so it feels good to stand beside you.”

Tommy Dreamer

“I am not sure whether to be flattered or not?”

CM Punk

“Just smile and nod. Just smile and nod, Tommy.”

CM Punk slaps Tommy Dreamer on the back before he walks out of the dressing room. Tommy Dreamer stares at the door for a few seconds, almost as if there is a few more words on the tip of his tongue, but he returns to taping his hands and concentrating on the match later on. As we head to a commercial break, The Sandman and Joey Styles hype up their side of the Royal Rumble – including the eight entrants named thus far in the Royal Rumble, as well as the Three Way Dance with Extreme Rules.

Match Number Three : Test & Mike Knox /w Kelly Kelly versus Danny Doring & Roadkill

Test and Knox come out with Kelly Kelly being dragged down to the ring. As soon as they step inside, they are cut off by Doring and Roadkill who make their way towards the ring. As soon as they step inside, the ring fills up with action as bodies are flying left and right. Eventually Doring is knocked to the apron and Test hits a big boot that sends Doring to the floor. Meanwhile, Test and Knox whip Roadkill into the ropes and take him down with a back body drop. As soon as Roadkill is up to his feet, the two big men hit a consecutive big boot that sends Roadkill to the outside of the ring. Knox heads too the apron while Test goes to the outside to take out Roadkill.

After some pointless and equally uninspiring brawling, Test whips Roadkill into the steel stairs and sends the stairs flying. Test picks up Roadkill and than tosses him into the ring. Meanwhile, Test tags into Knox who continues what Test was doing – beating down Roadkill. Eventually Roadkill hits a power slam out of no where and crawls over to the hot tag to Doring. Doring is no where near the same size as his opponents, but he makes up for it in heart. After consecutive hurricranas, Doring whips Test into the corner before he hits a series of European upper cuts. Doring goes for a swinging neck breaker, but Knox hits a lariat out of no where. Knox curses Doring who is lying on the mat, but Roadkill tackles him and the two big men fall through the middle rope and the outside.

The Mexicools appear out of no where with chairs in hand and size up Roadkill for a chair shot. But out of no where, The F.B.I stop them with enzugris! High Impact appears out of nowhere from the crowd and the 3 teams are brawling in the entrance way! The Sandman once again hypes that it only happens in ECW! While the referee is distracted, Kelly Kelly gets into the ring and kicks Danny Doring square in the groin. Kelly flees the ring while Test gets a running start and nearly takes Doring’s head off with a big boot. He hooks the leg and the referee turns around just in time to administer the three count and award the victory to Test & Knox!

As the four tag-teams are brawling in the ramp, hitting spring board’s off the steel rail and chair shots galore, The Sandman stands up from the announce booth with a house microphone.

The Sandman

“This is ECW! Blood Steel chairs, high flying action, and a middle finger to the rules! Next week, I am giving you three – the F.B.I, Doring & Roadkill and High Impact – a shot at earning the last two ECW spots in the Royal Rumble. But next week starts the new tradition on ECW Scifi. Every match is going to be Extreme Rules FROM now on! This is ECW, this isn’t RAW or Smackdown. We are setting ourselves apart with EXTREME violence each and every week. And next week will not be any different, because the three teams are going to be competiting in a special kind of Extreme Rules match. It’ll involve three of my favorite things – Tables… Ladders… and Chairs! The winner will be whomever can haul their ass up a ladder and come down with a brief case containing the last two ECW spots in the Royal Rumble.”

The fans pop big time as they are pumped for next week’s TLC Match. The Sandman cracks open a beer and guzzles it down as Joey Styles looks on with admiration, joking too the fans that the Sandman is probably drunk by now. The Sandman cracks open another beer and instructs Joey Styles to open up as he pours the beer down the throat of Joey Styles. As we head to a commercial break, the Sandman is finally sitting down and waiting for the main event, with another beer in hand.

Main Event : CM Punk & Tommy Dreamer versus Balls Mahoney & Justin Credible

When we return out first is CM Punk, who comes out to a respectable pop as the fans seem to disregard his tweener like personality. CM Punk briefly stares down the Sandman, who is still covered in beer and shakes his head in disbelief. Styles comments that CM Punk looks disappointed in the intoxicating indulgence of The Sandman, and the Sandman says that he’d cane his punk ass if he came any closer. CM Punk turns his attention back too the ring as he rolls inside and climbs the top rope and raises his arms high into the air. His introduction is short lived as Tommy Dreamer’s theme music plays as the Innovator of Violence. Tommy Dreamer slaps the fans hands as he holds a Singapore cane tightly in his hand. As he rolls into the ring, CM Punk and him meet face to face. The camera closes in as the fans are wondering what will come of this face to face confrontation. The two simply shake hands and await their opponents.

Out next is Justin Credible and Balls Mahoney, who get a large pop. The Defenders of ECW make their way out wearing ECW shirts, with Credible holding a Singapore Cane and Balls Mahoney holding a chair. As the two get on the apron, they raise their respected weapons high into the air. But they are knocked off by Dreamer and CM Punk who jump them from behind. Punk and Dreamer roll to the outside and the two begin to brawl with their opponents. Punk throws Credible into the steel rail while Dreamer clothes lines Mahoney over the railing. The two brawl amongst the fans as they chant ECW! Meanwhile, Credible is dazed and confused and barely on one knee while CM Punk scales the top rope. In a near suicidal spot, CM Punk hits a diving moon sault off the top rope and lands on Justin Credible, almost landing neck first in the process. This receives a holy shit chant. Meanwhile, Tommy Dreamer has thrown Balls into a row of chairs that suddenly collapses.

As Dreamer and Balls make it back too the ring, Credible and Punk are going through a series of reversals. Eventually Punk thumbs the eye of Credible and hits a Russian Leg sweep. Meanwhile, Balls Mahoney takes Dreamer out with a stiff chair shot. Out of no where, CM Punk hits an insane suicidal dive through the middle rope and takes out Balls Mahoney. The fans are chanting “CM” as Punk gets too his feet. CM Punk and Tommy Dreamer get into the ring together and throw Justin Credible into the ropes. Credible has the worst of lock, though, as he finds himself his arms trapped in the ropes. As he flails hopelessly, Dreamer and Punk takes their turns rifling away shots at him. Balls enters the ring with a chair and tries to take both men out, but they dodge the chair shot. CM Punk than super kicks the chair square into the face of Balls Mahoney.

All of the sudden, King Booker’s theme music blares across the speakers and the fans are already booing. King Booker and His Royal Company are no where to be seen though, as Credible, Mahoney, Punk and Dreamer are all standing in the ring awaiting their arrival. They are looking in the wrong direction, as Booker, Finlay and Regal slide into the ring and attack the ECW wrestlers! This blind side attack leaves the ECW wrestlers unprepared for the attack. King Booker instructs for his Royal Company to hoist Mahoney and Credible to their feet, before he hits separate Scissors kick on the two men. As the entire ECW locker room files out from the backstage area, with the Sandman barking orders from the head set, The Royal Company and King Booker flee through the crowd while ECW wrestlers heading every which way. Meanwhile, in the ring CM Punk takes the chance to finish off Balls Mahoney. He locks him in the Anaconda Vice while the ECW super star is already out cold on the mat. The referee calls for the bell and awards the match to CM Punk and Tommy Dreamer. As CM Punk has his arm raised in the air, Tommy Dreamer is on one knee. The referee tries to raise his arm in the air, but he shoves the referee to the side. Tommy Dreamer and CM Punk have a brief stare down, with CM Punk telling Dreamer “he got the job done”. Tommy Dreamer looks ready to attack him for his despicable behavior. The show ends with Tommy Dreamer walking up the ramp, disgusted on how he captured his victory. The camera closes in on the defeated Justin Credible who is kneeling beside the unconscious Balls Mahoney as the show ends.

Winner: CM Punk & Tommy Dreamer

[JStarr]

Closed and moved to the deep Web.