The Johnny Depp Experiment

[jrtdot]

loved Gilbert Grape, very good movie IMO and great acting from Leo and Johnny

[the machine]

6.5 out of 10? Gilbert Grape's amazing! It deserves to be at least a full point better than Freddy's Dead, which didn't even turn out to be the final nightmare. I haven't seen it in awhile, but I remember it was about dealing with too much responsibility as a teenager. Between his obscenely fat mother and his retarded brother, he had to pretty much sacrifice his own life, and he ends up learning how stupid that is.

[Gabriel]

6.5 out of 10? Gilbert Grape's amazing! It deserves to be at least a full point better than Freddy's Dead, which didn't even turn out to be the final nightmare. I haven't seen it in awhile, but I remember it was about dealing with too much responsibility as a teenager. Between his obscenely fat mother and his retarded brother, he had to pretty much sacrifice his own life, and he ends up learning how stupid that is.

I found myself looking around during parts of the movie... and usually when I sit down to watch a film, my attention is almost 100% on the television. Grape and Freddy are two completely different films, and were judged as such. I base my ratings system on quality, but in comparison to what it should be, not in comparison to other films. I don't grade on a curve here.

I feel like Gilbert Grape suffered from a few things, the most notable of which is the message it is sending. As someone who had to grow up during his teenage years and be the man of the house, I understand how that goes... but at the same time, it felt like the whole thing was built around his mother being the problem, when in fact it was Gilbert himself who was holding back. He was using his family as an excuse not to pursue happiness.

Like I said, I enjoyed the movie, but I stand by my rating.

[Gabriel]

Benny and Joon (1993)

-Depp stars as the simple minded, fun and strange Sam... a man who at over twenty years of age is still unable to read, but makes up for that fault with a knowledge of old films that is second to none. After travelling by train to stay with his cousin Thomas, Sam finds himself sent packing after Thomas wins a poker hand, with his cousin as part of the bet.

Sam goes to live with Benny and Joon Pearl, a brother and sister who lean on each other more than even they would like to admit. Benny is a mechanic who is hiding behind his sister to avoid life, while Joon is a mentally disabled young woman who at the time, is becoming sick of being told what to do, and acting out because of it.

Sam is let to stay on the couch in their home, and soon becomes a friend to both, as well as a housekeeper. With Benny wrestling with the idea of putting Joon in a home, and at the same time fighting himself while trying to justify moving on with his life, Joon and Sam are left to grow ever-fonder of one another, and eventually, the two fall in love.

After finding out about it, Benny sends Sam away, but Sam comes back for Joon, trying to skip town... only her disability rears its' ugly head while on the bus, and she creates a scene, which results in her being admitted to the psychiatric ward at the hospital.

Benny and Sam both see what's happening, and put their differences aside, with each man helping the other to grow and make Joon happy, as the end of the film sees Joon and Sam living in their own apartment, and Benny moving on with his life, knowing his sister is happy.

Movie: 9.5/10

-It does everything right, and is one of my favorite romantic comedies of all time. Masterson and Quinn put in amazing performances as the title characters, and Julianne Moore, the guy from Night at the Roxbury and Jimmy King from Ready to Rumble (I forget his name, but I WILL RULE YOU!) all add very favorably to the film.

If you're looking for a movie to put on and watch with your girlfriend, I highly recommend this one. Unless, of course, she's into the more mindless type, in which case I would recommend any of the by-the-numbers rom-coms that have come out in the last ten years. This is an amazing movie, but it's not a mindless watch where everything just happens to go right for two good looking Gap kids. It's a love story that deals with several other issues, makes you think, makes you smile and by the time its' over, makes you want to bust out the Iron and make some grilled cheese sandwiches.

Next to be reviewed is Arizona Dream... I watched it already, and just... speechless... and then after that, we pick it back up with Ed Wood.

[MalaCloudy Black]

Jimmy King = Oliver Platt.

[Toe]

He will always be known as Jimmy King.

[James Casey]

Awesome. Been wanting to watch B&J for a while now, so I think I'll have to get a copy.

[Gabriel]

Arizona Dream (1993)

Axel dreams of Eskimos having sex, after one of them nearly dies, but is saved by a white wolf... Axel is a fish tagger in New York, but his job is interrupted when his cousin Paul, played by the underrated Vincent Gallo, meets him in New York to invite him to be the best man at his Uncle Leo's wedding. Axel turns down the invitation at first, but Paul gets him drunk and takes him to Arizona.

Uncle Leo owns a car lot, where Paul is a salesman, and is getting married to a much younger woman. Leo wants Axel to stay and sell cars, but again, he turns down the invitation... only to end up doing it anyways. This is where he meets Elaine and Grace, a stepmother and her stepdaughter. Both Axel and Paul want what Elaine has, which looks to be, at first, a MILF body. Elaine is played by Faye Dunaway, who did a tremendous job.

Paul and Axel go for dinner at Elaine and Grace's house, where Elaine and Paul play footsies, Axel tosses milk on Paul, and Grace tries to hang herself with her stockings...unsuccessfully.

This is pretty much where I got lost... as the rest of the film is Axel and Elaine trying to make a flying machine while simultaneously fucking like rabbits, with Depp occassionally crowing like a rooster for whatever reason... Grace being the annoying type who you actually just sort of want to off herself... and Paul adding some humor and Godfather dialogue.

In the end, it turns out Axel and Grace fall in love, Grace kills herself, Elaine gets her flying machine, Uncle Leo dies and I've no idea what the fuck the movie was about.

Movie: 3/10

-All the actors turned in great performances, from Depp to Dunaway, to Lili Taylor, Vincent Gallo and Jerry Lewis... but great acting doesn't save two-plus hours of whatever the fuck that was. I really wanted to enjoy the movie, because the acting really is that good... but as the old saying goes... you can't polish a turd.

The movie suffers from the fact that it feels like it's being artsy for the sake of being artsy, instead of for the sake of turning in a good film... and that's a major problem I have with movies like this, that fall into the art category... a good movie shouldn't feel like it's being forced down your throat, no matter what it is... and that's exactly how this felt. Like the guys behind the movie were more interested in trying to make an art film than a good one.

I read that the original cut of the movie was a whopping five hours long... and I'm glad I didn't see that one, otherwise I might very well have killed myself to avoid having to watch the rest of this piece of shit.

Luckily, Ed Wood and Nick of Time are up next... and that should bring me back from this awful, awful place.

[Gabriel]

Ed Wood (1994)

-This is the semi-biographical story of Edward D. Wood, Jr... actor, producer, director and screenwriter. Ed Wood was known mostly for his contributions to the B-Movie Horror Genre, but the film that started it all was his dramatic look into the life of a closet transvestite, in a film that was loosely based on his own life, Glen or Glenda. That movie itself was not a horror film, but Ed's love of the genre showed through even there, as the major name attached to the film was Bela Lugosi.

Throughout this movie, the relationship between Ed and Mr. Lugosi is a central point of the story. Ed's fiance at the beginning of the film, Dolores Fuller, eventually leaves him because of his blind faith and devotion towards both his projects and his friends. Ed's circle of friends was a selection of outcasts, who all felt comfortable only with each other. Ed's lifestyle wasn't a point of ridicule among his friends, and as Dolores puts it during the film, he had found himself a family of freaks.

The point that is driven home throughout the film is Ed's devotion and commitment... two things which endear him to many fans of the horror genre, even today. His films themselves were no great works, but their was a genuine love put into each of them.

Along the way, Ed assembles the cast that would make up his most well known film, Plan 9 From Outer Space, which included wrestler Tor Johnson, faux-psychic Criswell, the alluring Vampira and more.

The film portrays Wood and his colleagues in a sympathetic light, and no doubt, leaves out a lot of things that would have made it tricky to endear the characters to the audience. As it is, this film is already hit or miss, enough as it is, with the movie going audience.

As someone who can relate to a lot of the things in the film, Ed Wood fills me with a little bit of pride. It's a good movie, but more than that, it's a two hour long reason for the freaks and geeks to smile and find a little bit of hope.

Movie: 8.5/10

-I absolutely adore this movie, but it is not without its' faults. Black and White worked amazingly for me, because of the subject matter and the feel of the film, but a lot of people see black and white, and stop paying attention right away. There are times where you get the chill up your spine that you would while watching a classic Lugosi horror film, and that is just an awe-inspiring feeling to have.

A lot of what makes this film wonderful for me, is what makes it dreck for a lot of other people. There were no problems with the acting though, which is why I can't see how anyone could possibly rate this any lower. Every character felt like watching the person they were meant to portray. There wasn't anyone who looked like they were forcing the issue, and the cast is probably one of my favorites of all time.

Any horror movie fans who aren't turned off by anything that isn't MTV approved, should definately watch this movie. A lot of the horror films of the 1980's were heavily influenced by Ed Wood's works, and the best modern horror films still are. If you're into exploring roots, watch this film, and then check out some of Wood's movies. Not the best films ever, but you'll enjoy and appreciate them.

Nick of Time is next... then I think Dead Man, which is about William Blake... and then Don Juan DeMarco. I'm excited... some Christopher Walken, then one I've never seen... and then Depp portraying the world's greatest lover. This is fun stuff.

[the machine]

Ed Wood is right up there with Edward Scissorhands as Burton's best project. I love how fully he convinces the audience to root for a guy that thinks it's a minor detail to cut from day to night during a scene, or that it's an okay take when a guy hits the doorframe and shakes the set because that sort of thing would really happen to the character all the time. Martin Landau won an oscar for his portrayal of the bitter, proud and obviously troubled Bela Lugosi.

For me, what makes the movie work so well is Wood's constant enthusiasm which seems to prevent him from having that bit of self-reflection that might make him realize how bad a movie he's making. Wood's childish love of movies may be an invention, but it makes the character extremely compelling.

Edit: I can't wait for a Dead Man review. It's definitely a love it or hate it kind of movie.

Edited October 4, 2008 by the machine

[Gabriel]

Nick of Time (1995)

-Gene Watson is easily the weakest character that Depp has played in his career up to this point. Don't get me wrong, Depp turns in a performance that is absolutely fine, but the character just doesn't do a whole lot to make you want him to succeed in saving his daughter. What you're really waiting for is a big fight between Depp and co-star Christopher Walken, who is one of two government workers who kidnap poor Gene's daughter on a business trip. They take her hostage and try to force Watson into assassinating a Governor.

The twists and turns throughout the movie work, and figuring out how high up the assassination goes also ranks higher than seeing Gene reunite with his daughter.

Movie: 6/10

-There's nothing really wrong with this film, but the character of Gene Watson is flat. The plot to kill the Governor and the inevitable fight between Depp and Walken overshadow the performances by the actors, and that would be fine, but the pacing of the film needed to be quicker to go with what they had. The pace they used really should have leaned on better characterization, and that will hurt the film, as a lot of people will find themselves losing interest.

The supporting cast was all great, and there's never a bad time to see Christopher Walken. Charles S. Dutton does a good job of playing Huey, the only man who can help Gene Watson, and he does a good job of getting rhythm when the frustrated and scared Gene is getting the blues.

...Dead Man is next up on my list, and I have a feeling that what I wanted out of good characters in this film, I'll end up with in Dead Man, but I also have a feeling that the pacing will be even slower... so we'll see how that goes.

[Gabriel]

Dead Man (1995)

-This is the story of William Blake. No, not the writer... but then again, perhaps he is? Blake makes the trek from Cleveland out west for a job in a town called Machine, after splitting with his wife. Unfortunately for him, by the time he gets there, the position has been filled and he is forced to the streets with nothing but a suitcase and a suit that looked like it was made out of house drapes.

Blake does what any man would do after finding out that he is totally fucked; he heads to the saloon. After picking up some Whisky, he witnesses a man shove a woman into a some mud, and after some shorthanded comments from her, the two seem to hit it off a little. They make relations.

Thel, the woman, shows him all of her paper roses that she'd made and been selling. A spray of french perfume into the middle, and they become more than just paper. Fortune again decides to spit on poor William, as Thel's ex-boyfriend barges in to make up with her, only to find her in bed with another man. The boyfriend, played by Gabriel Byrne, tries to shoot Blake, but Thel takes the bullet for him. As luck would have it though, the bullet goes clean through her and into Blake, who before we know it, has shot the other man dead.

From here, William Blake is forced onto the run, as the man who runs the factory he was to work at... well, that was the ex-boyfriend's father. He thinks that Blake killed his son and his son's fiance, and demands vengeance. So, he hires three bounty hunters to track him and kill him. Fate begins to help out poor William Blake though, as it leads him to Nobody. A Native American, with a great sense of humor and a love for the written works of William Blake.

Nobody tells him that he is a dead man already, with the bullet lodged so close to his heart... hence the title of the film... but they spend the next hour and a half bantering with each other, meeting all kinds of weird folk, killing lots of stupid fucking white men and eluding the bounty hunters.

Movie: 7/10

-This film was very much like Arizona Dream, in that the emphasis is on the art of the film, as opposed to the entertainment. That said, Dead Man doesn't feel like they're deliberately shoving it down our throats and hitting us over the head with it. It also helps that the characters in the film were all extremely entertaining in their own rights.

Of course, part of my enjoyment of the film may have been spotting so many cameos by so many awesome people. Gabriel Byrne, Lance Henriksen, Crispin Glover, Michael Wincott (of The Crow fame, and also known for just being bad ass), Billy Bob Thornton, Alfred Molina and my favorite... Iggy Pop as a crossdressing fur-trader.

There aren't many movies that can mish-mash genres like this one did and still come out with a good finished product... but the acting was superb, the storyline was great, and the portrayal of everything from the Natives to the soundtrack was awesome. Neil Young did the soundtrack, which collides amazingly with what you're seeing on the screen.

Fans of modern westerns, psychodelic flicks, watching for cameos or buddy movies should give this one a good look. You may not enjoy it, but you just might love it.

Stupid fucking white man.

Okay... next up is Don Juan DeMarco, which I have a fondness for. I got it on VHS a few years back for $1 in those bins of movies that Safeway puts in random locations throughout their store sometimes. I'm having a hell of a time finding a copy of The Brave though... DeepDiscount doesn't have it. I'll have to check Amazon and my local videostore to see if I can get it somehow.

[Gabriel]

Don Juan DeMarco (1995)

-John DeMarco is a lonely young man who decides to leave his life behind and become someone else. Not just anybody else though... he becomes Don Juan, the world's greatest lover. He becomes the character so much that not only does he dress the part, wearing Spanish inspired clothing, but he also finds himself living the role, as he charms women into letting him give them what they want.

The opening scene of Don Juan meeting a woman at a hotel restaurant, making love to her, and then leaving her as her husband just arrives for dinner... is just remarkable. He doesn't seduce her, but instead, sits down and tells her that if she wants him to, he will give her what she desires, and he describes her beauty in an abundant amount of spectacular words, and before long, they're in a room.

After that, he climbs to the top of a billboard and demands for the greatest swordsman to come fight him, hoping that he would die valiantly at the hand of someone better. As luck would have it, Dr. Mickler (Marlon Brando) is called to the scene and becomes tangled up in DeMarco's web of fantasies, as he becomes Don Octavio de Flores.

Mickler takes DeMarco with him to a psychiatric facility, where the two men make an agreement. If DeMarco cannot prove, within his ten days there, that he is in fact the true Don Juan... then he would accept treatment. Over the course of the next ten days, DeMarco's fantasies become a ray of hope for Mickler, who finds the romanticism of the situation overwhelming.

As the film progresses, Dr. Mickler finds out more information lending to the idea that Don Juan is in fact, Johnny DeMarco, a young man from Arizona with a crush on a supermodel... but the more he finds out about that, the more he realizes that Johnny might as well be Don Juan, and that he himself has become Don Octavio de Flores.

Movie: 8.5/10

-It's a lot of fun to watch... the background information that DeMarco gives to Dr. Mickler is in fact the story of Don Juan as told by Lord Byron in his old stories, and that makes for some very interesting and enjoyable scenes. On top of that, the interaction between Depp and Marlon Brando, as well as Brando and Faye Dunaway, is extremely well done.

Cameos from the late Selena (as a mariachi singer), and Tiny "Zeus" Lister (as a male nurse brought in when the female nurses all become obsessed with DeMarco) add to the fun factor of the film. It's a thought-inducing movie, but it's not going to make your brain hurt.

If you have any kind of romantic in you, this is probably something you will enjoy.