King of Trios Tournament: The Round 1 Walkovers

[JStarr]

This thread will showcase the entries who did not receive a response from their opponents.

First up, The WWF World Cup.

The year is 1994, and the WWF is going through some tough times. With the steroid trial in full force, Bret Hart is WWF Champion. However, the rest of the roster - save Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, and a couple others - isn't much to write home about.

However, the WWF has had an idea. The World Cup, the world's foremost soccer/football championship, has just been held on American soil, and seems to have been a success. So the WWF is going to capitalize on this, and hold a world cup of their own - an eight-man tournament, culminating in the final at Summerslam.

Your task is to book the WWF World Cup from start to finish - your entry must include a video, a promo, and a match.

THE VIDEO: Quick highlights of the quarter-finals and semi-finals.

THE PROMO: One of the two participants in the final cuts a promo on the final Monday Night Raw before Summerslam, hyping up the match.

THE MATCH: The final of the WWF World Cup. Everything is up to you, but the match cannot end via DQ or countout (for the purposes of this entry that is; it's not necessarily a no-DQ match in kayfabe).

Other notes:

-The WWF roster for August 1994 (the roster you are to use) can be found here.

-You can hire any wrestlers you wish, as long as they were not employed by WCW in August 1994 (WCW's roster can be found here. However, any 'outside' workers (ones not on the WWF roster above) cannot advance past the first round.

-You can be creative - remember that this is WWF in 1994; they would likely use a very liberal definition of the word 'country'.

-This tournament is operating in a vacuum, you don't have to worry about what the rest of the PPV might look like with your match.

Responding to these rules: the team of TheRaySays, Split Second, and Krone.

Not responding to these rules: the team of Sousa, EddieG, and SRN.

THE VIDEO – WWF Superstars, August 20, 1994

WWF President Jack Tunney stands in the ring holding a gleaming silver trophy cup while Vince McMahon holds the microphone for him. Spotlights draw the attention of the capacity crowd. With the “Domino’s Pizza delivers SummerSlam” logo in the corner of the screen, Todd Pettengill provides the voice-over hype for this promo video.

Todd Pettengill: “It started with a groundbreaking announcement on the July 4th episode of Monday Night RAW… Independence Day… WWF President Jack Tunney introduced the WWF World Cup, a prestigious trophy that would bring instant fame and fortune to the superstar who managed to carry it home to his country of origin.”

Vince McMahon: “Somebody’s walking out of Summerslam the FIRST… INAUGURAL… WWF World Cup winner! Wow!”

Todd Pettengill: “Throughout the following week, superstars past and present jockeyed for position… each wanting the honor of representing his native land in the tournament…”

Gorilla Monsoon: “Salvatore Bellomo? Rene Goulet? Are they in the building, Randy?”

Randy Savage: “Eeeeeverybody is coming out to get in on this. The frequent flyer miles are burning up, yeah!”

Todd Pettengill: “The chosen entrants remained a mystery to all of us, but we got to see the first preliminary match on WWF Superstars on July 16th. Yokozuna would represent the Land of the Rising Sun… Japan… while there was some confusion on the other side of the ring.”

Yokozuna stands still and intense in his corner while Mr. Fuji removes the big man’s robe and does the whole salt ceremony schtick. In the opposite corner, however, The Bushwhackers are having a heated debate about which of them will get to represent New Zealand.

Todd Pettengill: “Luke and Butch, The Bushwhackers, couldn’t decide who was going to face Yokozuna, but the six hundred pound behemoth would make the decision for them…”

Yoko barrels across the ring and levels both men with stereo clotheslines. Mr. Fuji demands that the referee call for the bell, and it looks like they’ll take the handicap in this one. After a brief comedy spot where Luke holds Mr. Fuji at ringside while Butch licks his bald head, we cut to the finish which sees Yoko slam Butch onto Luke and then Banzai Drop both of them for a stacked pinfall.

Todd Pettengill: “The former champion was in the semi-finals, but the following week, we were treated to a big return. The British Bulldog was back in the World Wrestling Federation, and while the champion, Bret… The Hitman… Hart was quick to welcome his old friend back to the ring, brother Owen was not so gracious…”

Owen Hart: “Just one word of warning, Davey… Keep your nose… out of my business.”

Todd Pettengill: “Davey Boy Smith wasn’t here to meddle in the Hart family feud, no, he was here to enter his hat in the WWF World Cup, representing the United Kingdom. This still wouldn’t sit well with Owen Hart, because his opponent… representing Owen’s own Canada… was Jim… The Anvil… Neidhart.”

The British Bulldog hits Jim Neidhart with a big head butt that sends the Anvil flailing to the canvas. Anvil battles back with a dropkick and a slingshot shoulder tackle from the apron into the ring. Later, Davey walks around the ring with Anvil held in a vertical suplex position, delaying it for what seems like an eternity while the crowd’s murmurs grow to a fever pitch. Owen Hart climbs onto the apron to distract Davey and give Neidhart time to recover. It’s all for naught, however, as Davey ducks a running clothesline and catches Jim on the rebound to scoop him up and press him overhead for a gorilla slam that gets the three.

Todd Pettengill: “The integrity of the supposedly random draws was called into question when The Million Dollar Man… Ted DiBiase… debuted his pair of entrants… not one but two members of the Million Dollar Corporation entered into the tournament and paired up in the prelims.”

Ted DiBiase stands in the ring with his Million Dollar Corporation of Irwin R. Schyster, the supposed Undertaker, Nikolai Volkoff, and Bam Bam Bigelow. DiBiase has a roll of papers in one hand and the microphone in the other. Bigelow’s usual purple flame singlet has been replaced with an embroidered Chinese dragon robe.

Ted DiBiase: “I present to you… The Beast from the Far East… a resident of Hong Kong, the Asbury Park of the Orient… Bam Bam Bigelow!”

Todd Pettengill: “DiBiase’s paperwork proved that he owned a lavish estate in Hong Kong and since Bam Bam had paid him rent with a crisp one yuan note, he was a resident of China. Before the match, DiBiase’s lackey, the down-on-his-luck representative of the similarly beleaguered Russian Federation wanted to simply sing the Russian National Anthem… almost a decades-old tradition for Volkoff in the World Wrestling Federation. The Million Dollar Man was eager to get his man into the semi-finals, however, and he cut Nikolai off… with inspiring results.”

Volkoff hauls off and blasts DiBiase with a big right hand, earning a cheer from the crowd. This doesn’t last, however, before Bigelow runs him over and lays a beating into him. Despite a few hope spots (Volkoff ducks a clothesline and goes behind to put Bigelow in a sleeperhold until Bigelow thunders backward to crush him against the turnbuckles), Bigelow gets the inevitable win by Diving Headbutt.

Todd Pettengill: “The surprises didn’t end there. For weeks, Lex Luger demanded to know whether or not he would get the honor of representing his beloved United States of America in the WWF World Cup. Two weeks ago he got his answer… an emphatic yes from Jack Tunney and the fans of the World Wrestling Federation. But what he could never have expected was the identity of his opponent…”

Lex Luger stands in the ring in his full red-white-and-blue regalia, eager to face his foe. His tag team partner, Tatanka hangs back, subdued.

Howard Finkel: “Representing the Sovereign Lumbee Tribe… Tatanka!”

Luger’s jaw drops. Tatanka simply sidles across to face him and extends a hand. After a brief pause, Luger shakes it, and claps his partner on the shoulder in a show of support.

Todd Pettengill: “The Million Dollar Man couldn’t let this go, however, and came down to ringside. The question on everybody’s mind was… Who was he rooting for? Was one of these two men… tag team partners… friends… Was one of them working for DiBiase? With so much at stake… patriotism… pride… and with DiBiase’s checkbook at hand… could either man be trusted?”

Tatanka has Luger backed against the buckles, and there’s a tense moment as Tatanka has a blistering chop wound up, but he gives the clean break. Later, Luger has Tatanka in an abdominal stretch. He reaches towards the top rope for leverage, but stops just short, realizing it would be a cheat. Lex gets hip tossed out of the hold for his honesty, but DiBiase visibly snarls at ringside.

Todd Pettengill: “Despite DiBiase’s presence, the match would be clean, and in the end, Lex Luger emerged victorious.”

Tatanka comes off the top for the Tomahawk Chop, but Lex hits him in the face with the forearm and jerks him up into the Torture Rack, where Tatanka eventually submits. Afterwards, Luger helps his partner up and they hug, with Tatanka giving Luger a thumbs-up and a congratulatory pat on the back.

Todd Pettengill: “The semi-finals were set… Yokozuna… The British Bulldog… Bam Bam Bigelow… and Lex Luger.”

On the August 8th episode of Monday Night RAW, The Million Dollar Corporation (minus Nikolai Volkoff) stand in the ring while Ted DiBiase paces angrily.

Ted DiBiase: “The Sovereign Lumbee Tribe?! Since when is that a country? I could buy and sell the Lumbee Tribe lock, stock, and wigwam.”

Irwin R. Schyster nods his assent.

Ted DiBiase: “He wasn’t a legal entrant in this tournament… so Lex Luger’s win doesn’t count… and I think we should go with the obvious choice. Representing the United States, I present to you… Irwin… R…”

Tatanka and Luger clear the ring. They stand tall while the Million Dollar Corporation back up the aisle, spouting inaudible threats. We cut to footage later that night of Luger vs. Bam Bam.

Todd Pettengill: “Tatanka helped keep the numbers game from overwhelming Lex Luger, but even he couldn’t be everywhere at once.”

Luger hits the ropes deep, his forearm cocked, but DiBiase’s Undertaker trips him up. When Lex turns to face the interloper, Bigelow blitzes him from behind and knocks him clear out over the top rope. The entire Million Dollar Corporation count along with the referee as Tatanka struggles to rally a stunned Luger back into the ring.

Suddenly, a gong echoes throughout the arena and the lights flicker.

Todd Pettengill: “But someone most certainly did seem to be everywhere at once. The Undertaker… perhaps the true Undertaker… made his presence felt.”

The referee, equally spooked, stops counting. Paul Bearer stands at the top of the ramp holding a dirty shovel. Bigelow leans out over the top rope to point at him and shout.

Todd Pettengill: “Had Paul Bearer unearthed the real Undertaker? Were DiBiase’s claims as false as his smile?”

Paul Bearer heads backstage, so Bigelow and the referee both turn back towards the ring. Lex Luger slides in and rushes forward. The running forearm smash pastes Bam Bam across the mug and lays him out for the one-two-three, much to DiBiase’s chagrin.

Todd Pettengill: “Lex Luger was going to SummerSlam for the finals, and despite his best efforts, Ted DiBiase would not be buying the WWF World Cup. Not this year.”

We cut to the following RAW, with Yokozuna and The British Bulldog staring each other down in the middle of the ring. There’s a back and forth exchange of shoulder blocks, clotheslines, and head butts, neither man backing down an inch. Eventually, Bulldog gets hit in the eyes with a hand full of salt from Mr. Fuji, blinding him. Yokozuna charges in and hits a big avalanche, crushing Davey.

Todd Pettengill: “It was a war for the ages… Yokozuna… The British Bulldog… The ring could barely contain them.”

Yokozuna goes up top for the Banzai Drop, but Davey lumbers up to his feet and unloads some battering forearms to the small of Yoko’s back. Yoko turns to face his foe, lashing out with bare foot kicks. Bulldog gets knocked down, but rolls backward to his feet. He runs in and turns, hefting the six-hundred-pound behemoth with considerable effort.

Vince McMahon: “Are you kidding me?!”

Davey stumbles out of the corner with Yoko on his shoulder. He builds up some forward momentum, some steam if you will, and buries Yokozuna with a running powerslam that visibly shakes the ring.

Vince McMahon: “Unbelievable! What power from The British Bulldog!”

Jim Cornette throws his tennis racket and Mr. Fuji falls to his knees in shame as Yokozuna gets pinned. The British Bulldog breaks the Japanese flag and throws it down at them for a cheap pop. He then parades around the ring, flexing and posing, until Lex Luger comes down the ramp. Luger smiles and applauds Bulldog, then they engage in a playful pose-off.

Todd Pettengill: “The final was set… The United States vs. The United Kingdom… Revolutionary, some might say, as Lex Luger faces The British Bulldog at SummerSlam, and the whole wide world will be watching. Who will walk away with the WWF World Cup? We’ll all find out in just nine short days as Domino’s delivers SummerSlam live Monday, August 29th. Do your patriotic duty and be sure not to miss it!”

THE PROMO – Monday Night RAW, August 22, 1994

With all of the crowd watching on in anticipation, the music of none other than Lex Luger hits, sending those in attendance into an uproar. We are reminded by “The Macho Man” Randy Savage that at SummerSlam, Lex will be in the finals of the World Cup, taking on Great Britan’s own British Bulldog. McMahon continues showing his love for the match between the two as he talks about the long roads that both men have taken to get to where they are right now and that at SummerSlam, they will not only be wrestling for themselves, but their countries as well.

Having reached the edge of the ring, Luger walks right up the steel steps and into the squared circle where Vince McMahon awaits him with a microphone in hand. Playing up to the crowd just a little bit more, Luger heads on over to McMahon who shows one of the biggest smiles in a long time before beginning the interview.

Vince McMahon: “Lex Luger, in just seven days at SummerSlam, you will have quite possibly the biggest match of your career as you take on the British Bulldog in the finals of the World Cup. What are your thoughts heading into such a huge match.”

Looking around at the crowd for a brief second, Luger appears to be soaking it all in before he even contemplates answering the question McMahon just asked.

Lex Luger: “Over the years, I have taken on some of the greatest wrestlers this world has ever seen. I’ve defeated the likes of Mr. Perfect... I’ve defeated the likes of Yokozuna... And just eight months ago, I was the sole survivor in one of the biggest Survivor Series matches of all time. When I step into the ring to take on the British Bulldog in the finals of the World Cup, it’s going to be bigger than all of those. It’s going to be bigger than Jimmy Snuka’s leap off the cage. It’s going to be bigger than Razor Ramon versus Shawn Michaels in a ladder match. It’s going to be Lex Luger versus the British Bulldog.”

Pulling the microphone away from Luger, McMahon takes a look around at the crowd who begins to chant and cheer for “The Lex Express”. Giving him a moment to take in the cheers from all of his fans in attendance, McMahon doesn’t seem to care that this is only an hour long show as he waits for a few seconds before going back to the interview.

Vince McMahon: “That it will be, but after what the British Bulldog did to Yokozuna in the semi finals, it has to get you worried. Delivering a running powerslam to a six hundred pound man is no easy task at all.”

Lex Luger: “I will give credit where credit is due. Yes, the British Bulldog was able to hoist Yokozuna up and hit him with a running powerslam. However, the fact of the matter is, I am not Yokozuna. And when it comes down to it, I love to have the pressure on me. That is why, on August 29th, 1994 in Chicago, Illionis, I will prove to not only you Vince McMahon... Not only to the British Bulldog... Not only to those fans in attendance, but to the entire world! That there is only one Lex Luger, and that there is only one... United States of AMERICA!”

With these final words, Luger once again sends the crowd into an uproar in an almost deja vu like moment with McMahon looking around at the cheering and jeering fans in attendance. Over at the announcers table, Randy tells us that he knows both of these men very well and that if this is a testament to anything that the finals of the World Cup are going to be off the charts. Building it up a little bit more, Savage continues by saying that it’s Luger versus the Bulldog, the United States versus Great Britan, and it’s going down at SummerSlam!

THE MATCH – The British Bulldog vs. Lex Luger for the WWF World Cup,

Summerslam, August 29, 1994

Davey Boy Smith is out first to Rule, Britannia!, the Union Jack held out by his massive arms and draped across his shoulders. He takes to the turnbuckles and flexes to the excited crowd, earning his fair share of cheers. The flag and pole are set in his corner, and he paces the ring, flexing and showing off his impressive physique.

Vince McMahon: “The British Bulldog! A powerhouse to be sure!”

Jerry Lawler: “Did you see him powerslam Yokozuna?! I couldn’t believe it!”

Vince McMahon: “Six hundred pounds and he slung it like a sack of potatoes, King. And here he comes! The American original…”

Lex Luger comes out waving “Old Glory,” a big goofy grin pasted on his mug. He slaps hands with the fans at ringside and sets the flag in his corner before climbing into the ring. He and Davey meet in the center of the ring to shake hands and then return to their respective corners to await the bell.

Vince McMahon: “A warm Chi-town welcome for both these competitors here at the spectacle that is SummerSlam.”

Jerry Lawler: “I hear they have castles in England like we have in Memphis.”

Vince McMahon: “I don’t think they’re quite the same, King.”

A collar-and-elbow tie-up predictably results in a stalemate, each man straining and pushing, but going nowhere. They break apart in a stumbling pause, slowly backing away from each other in a show of shock and mutual respect. Davey slaps his shoulders while Lex stretches his elbows and they circle warily.

A second lock up results in Bulldog taking the technical route and pulling Lex into a side headlock. Luger takes Bulldog to the ropes and shoves him across. He bounces deep into the near ropes as well, and the two collide in the center of the ring with a pair of shoulder blocks that lands both men flat on the canvas. Each gets up to a fighting crouch, and the advantage remains null.

Vince McMahon: “What raw strength on display by both men here tonight.”

Stubborn as a pair of mules, they lock up again with Bulldog going back to the side headlock. He doesn’t give Luger time to square up his stance this time, however, taking him to the mat instead. Davey smoothly transitions to a hammerlock and drops his knee on the elbow to keep Luger grounded. He continues to wrench at it and drive his knee into it again and again while Lex kicks futilely at the mat.

Vince McMahon: “The British Bulldog working on that surgically repaired arm of Lex Luger. He’s had a steel plate put into that arm to hold it together, and now Davey Boy Smith is trying to tear it apart.”

Jerry Lawler: “That’s the way you do it. You find a body part and you isolate it and you destroy it.”

Lex eventually works his way up to one knee, shaking with the effort, then to his feet. Davey cranks up the arm one last time in desperation, but Lex is able to elbow out and get free. Luger runs to the ropes, hitting a big clothesline on the rebound. He gets fired up, running in place while Bulldog gets up. A second clothesline drops Davey Boy Smith, and a third gets the crowd erupting.

Vince McMahon: “And he hits the trifecta! A hat trick for the American original in the new home of the Chicago Blackhawks!”

Jerry Lawler: “Sure, he managed to knock the Bulldog down, but can he keep him down? It doesn’t look like it.”

Davey gets up a house of fire and just starts unloading right hands on a reeling Luger. He drives him all the way to the turnbuckles where the referee calls for a clean break. Bulldog reluctantly gives it, but once Lex steps out of the corner he grabs him by the wrist and whips him across. Luger hits the buckles hard and comes staggering out and into a high back body drop.

The British Bulldog pumps his fists and tosses his dreads. Luger comes up swinging, but Davey catches the arm and hops up to pull Luger down in a crucifix pin for 1… 2… Luger kicks out.

Bulldog tries an Irish whip, but Luger reverses. Bulldog runs right into an outstretched knee, flipping ass over elbows on impact. Lex runs to the ropes. He comes off and jumps high in the air for an elbow drop to the sternum.

Vince McMahon: “High elevation by Lex Luger who drives that elbow straight into the heart of the British Isles. One of these men walks out of that ring tonight with the WWF World Cup and the hopes and dreams of a nation on his broad shoulders. Lex Luger covers… can he do it?… One… Two… So close.”

Bulldog got his shoulder up at the last possible instant. Luger pulls him up in a front facelock and drapes the arm. He gets a grip on Bulldog’s tights and lifts, but Bulldog hooks his leg to block the suplex attempt. Davey gets his feet set and reverses, holding Luger in the suplex position.

Vince McMahon: “Seven… Eight… Nine… Aaaaand down to the mat goes Luger!”

Davey floats over for 1… 2… Luger shrugs him aside. The fans begin chanting “U-S-A! U-S-A!”

Vince McMahon: “Lex Luger drawing strength from the cheers of this hometown crowd… of the American people…”

Davey pulls Luger up and unloads a series of head butts, but Luger is “Lexing Up” and becoming invulnerable. An Irish whip sends Luger crashing into the buckles. Davey charges in, only to eat an upraised boot.

Luger snarls and flexes, shouting “Come on!” He blocks a wild right hand from the Bulldog and retaliates with one of his own. Again. And again. And now he’s just unloading rights on a staggered British Bulldog as the crowd cheers.

A boot to the gut doubles Bulldog over. Luger bounces off the ropes and drops Davey with a faceplant. He pumps his arms in triumph, bellowing with patriotic fervor.

Vince McMahon: “What a war! What tenacity from these two men!”

Jerry Lawler: “How long can they keep this up?”

Luger tries to scoop Davey up, but The British Bulldog drops out the back for a rear waistlock. He buries Luger with a back suplex, deflating the crowd, who have grown decidedly partisan. Bulldog regards them with a sneer as he climbs up top. He cocks his mighty arm, wrapped in tassels, and sets himself for a flying clothesline.

Vince McMahon: “Luger is up! Luger is up and he’s got The British Bulldog… and he slams him to the mat!”

Luger slaps his forearm, signaling for the finish. He hits the ropes deep for his Running Forearm Smash, but Davey comes to just in time and hooks the arm, turning into a backslide for 1… 2… 3!

Vince McMahon: “No! Only two on that one! Lex Luger isn’t out of this yet!”

Bulldog slaps his shoulder, calling for the Running Powerslam. He drops to one knee and hefts Luger up. Luger drops out the back, however, and runs Bulldog into the turnbuckles. The British Bulldog backpedals into the waiting arms of Lex Luger.

Vince McMahon: “Rack ‘em up, King! This could be all! Waitaminute… Davey Boy Smith goes to the eyes to break up the hold, and this capacity crowd doesn’t like it one bit.”

Jerry Lawler: “They don’t have to like it, but I love it. You’ve got to do what it takes to win, and Davey Boy Smith is willing to sacrifice for his Mother England. What’s more noble than that?”

To drive the point home, Davey hits a blatant thumb to the eye and a knee to the groin, keeping Luger blinded and the heat cranked up. The “U-S-A!” chants begin again in earnest as the referee admonishes The British Bulldog. The Bulldog answers them all with a shout of “It’s over!” and pulls Luger into a standing headscissors. He hooks Lex around the waist.

Vince McMahon: “Not like this, Davey! Not like this…”

Amidst the chants and the outrage, Luger manages to backdrop out of the piledriver or powerbomb or whatever Bulldog had in mind. Luger races to the ropes. He bounces off and jumps, clobbering Davey Boy Smith with the Running Forearm Smash.

Vince McMahon: “He got ‘im! Luger covers… One! Two! Three!”

Luger gets his hand raised as his music plays, and it’s pomp and circumstance time as red-white-and-blue confetti falls from the rafters (strangely suitable for either man’s victory celebration). Luger drops to one knee in exhaustion, his fists upraised in triumph. Meanwhile, a groggy British Bulldog has rolled out to the floor and is just now putting two and two together.

Vince McMahon: “Hey! Bulldog’s got a hold of Old Glory… Oh no!”

The British Bulldog snaps the flagpole and rips the flag from it for a chorus of jeers and shock and bewilderment from Lex Luger. Before Lex can respond, The Bulldog has taken the silver WWF World Cup trophy from the timekeeper’s table. He throws it down to the concrete with a clang and stomps on it, putting a huge dent in the side.

Luger climbs out, enraged, but The British Bulldog blows him off with a dismissing wave of his hand and stomps to the back. Lex Luger holds up the bent and battered cup, as tarnished as the joy of his victory. He takes up the remnants of the American flag as well and holds both over his head for a cheer.

Vince McMahon: “What a sore loser, but even those… disgusting actions can’t undo the history written here tonight. Lex Luger… Made in the U-S-A… brings home the inaugural WWF World Cup.”

Video and match by Ray, promo by Krone, no-show by Split.

================================================================================

Second up, The Punjabi Paparazzi Magnet.

On June 11, 2007, the Great Khali was drafted from Raw to SmackDown! in a move that nobody really cared about except Edge, who promptly shat a brick. Khali would luck into a World Heavyweight Title run after everyone and his mother got injured, but he was still the same old growling fearsome beast as before.

Except the week after he won the title, motherfucker danced.

Hey, let's roll with that!

After being drafted to SmackDown!, the Great Khali is taken off of TV for several weeks. However, his manager, Ranjin Singh, makes several appearances on commentary, promising that the Great Khali is in pursuit of additional endeavors and WILL return.

The week after Vengeance: Night of Champions, vignettes begin for a new and improved Great Khali. This, however, is not everyone's favorite Punjabi Nightmare. This guy is dressed to the nines, his hair slicked back, huge sunglasses on his face.

This... is Khaliwood.

YOUR TASK! You must write...

1. ...the vignette that airs the night after Vengeance in which the Great Khali reemerges in his new movie star gimmick, dubbed "Khaliwood." Do whatever you want with this.

2. ...a segment on SmackDown! in which Khaliwood and his agent Ranjin Singh host their new Piper's Pit-esque talk show segment. Call it whatever you want, but make sure this segment builds toward Khaliwood's first major feud.

3. ...the ending of Khaliwood's match against his new rival at SummerSlam. Khaliwood's new stable mates--either a debuting or established tag team--must have a hand in this ending. Khaliwood must win.

4. ...a summary of the booking leading from SummerSlam to Survivor Series. Khaliwood must not only have a tag team in his stable, but also a lower-card singles wrestler and a girlfriend.

5. ...a complete 5-on-5 Survivor Series match between Team Khaliwood and Team Khaliwood's Rival. Khaliwood, his lower-card singles wrestler, his tag team, and a fifth wrestler from either SmackDown! or ECW (or Ranjin Singh himself) must be on Khaliwood's team; his rival from the first talk show segment must captain the other. Khaliwood must be the sole survivor, but his rival must also look strong.

Responding to these rules, the team of FlatDoughnut, El Presidente, and The Brian J.

Not responding to these rules, the team of Hajjhowe, Hailtothechimp, and Vendetta.

“...just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...”

GLAMOROUS!

“...be afraid. Be very afraid...”

STUNNING!

“...the story of the strangest passion the world has ever known...”

GLITTERING!

“...in space no one can hear you scream...”

ALLURING!

“...no one gets away clean...”

HEROIC!

“...it’s alive...”

LIGHTS!

“...the one hope. The only hope...”

CAMERA!

“...coming to save the world this summer...”

KHALIWOOD!

The lights in the arena are all down, save for a single spotlight

In the middle of the spotlight is Ranjin Singh, wearing a nice suit and sunglasses. The crowd is booing, but he just looks around with a smile a mile wide on his face

Ranjin Singh: Ladies and Gentlemen...welcome to...Lights! Camera! KHALI!

An explosion of pyro comes from all four turnbuckles, and the lights in the arena all come on at once, revealing a set made to resemble a classic hollywood talk show. There are three large comfortable chairs all sitting on a multicolored rug, and beautiful pottery surrounds the apron of the ring. Each side of the ring also has a hollywood-style spotlight, each of which constantly moves back and forth. Singh looks around at the set, continuing to smile.

Singh: And ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you, the star of Lights Camera Khali. Your World Heavyweight Champion. The Punjabi Power Player...THE GREAT KHALI!

Khali's music hits, and the World Heavyweight Champion walks out. He is wearing a very nice suit, complete with purple tinted sunglasses, and is carrying the belt on one shoulder. He slowly walks to the ring and steps over the top ropes, then holds the belt into the air. He takes a seat on one of the chairs, the belt around his shoulder, and takes the microphone. He talks into it, although as usual, it is impossible to understand. He eventually hands the microphone back to Ranjin Singh.

Ranjin Singh: The Great Khali says that he is proud to be your World Heavyweight Champion. He is also here to announce a new era in Smackdown. An era of style. An era of intrigue. The era of Khaliwood! The Great Khali will be the most stylish, the most suave, the most interesting, and the GREATEST World Heavyweight Champion in Smackdown History!

Khali leans back in his chair. Singh hands him a bottle of water, and Khali starts to drink it, then speaks a little more into the microphone.

Singh: And tonight is the first night of that era. Here on Lights Camera Khali, every week some lucky superstar will be given some quality face time with their World Champion! A few of you might be lucky enough to touch the belt. And we start right now! Khali's first guest is...ANYBODY who wants to be the first guest! That's right, we are offering a free invitation to anybody! First come, first serve!

There's a long pause, as no music plays. Khali starts tapping his foot, then he gets impatient and stands up, yelling something.

Singh: The Great Khali says that he DEMANDS that somebody come out! He demands a guest! He does not care who it is.

Again, a long pause. Khali is getting frustrated, leaning over the top rope and yelling at the back. Again, nothing happens for a long pause. The crowd is getting restless, and Singh raises the microphone to his mouth...

WEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Michael Cole: WHAT?

JBL: Are you kidding me?

Khali looks pretty surprised, as Singh backs up about 10 feet and stands next to Khali...as THE BIG SHOW comes out! The crowd gives him a monstrous pop because he's been gone for a few months, and he has a big smile on his face. He's also wearing a suit jacket and nice pants, and he walks to the ring, slapping hands with fans. He climbs up the stairs and steps over the top rope, going face to face with the World Heavyweight Champion. As the music dies down and a "Welcome Back!" chant starts from the fans, and Show takes a moment to take it all in, but goes right back to Khali. He reaches over and easily plucks the microphone from Ranjin Singh

Big Show: Great Khali. I've been gone for a few months. I needed some time off. I've been training. And then I turned on Smackdown to see that you're the World Heavyweight Champion. And I saw you with your sudden attitude change. Your dancing. Your flashy clothes. And quite frankly, Khali...I don't like it. See, Khali...your clothes, your dancing, none of it impresses me. Quite frankly, I'm sick of you. You might be a big man...but I'm the original big guy. And Khali...I'm back!

Big crowd pop for that. Khali takes his sunglasses off and continues to stare at Big Show, who returns the glare.

Big Show: And Khali, you said someone might be lucky enough to touch the belt? I'll get lucky...when I take the belt from you.

Big Show slowly pus the microphone down and stays face to face with Khali. They glare into each others eyes, when suddenly Khali throws the first punch! The World Heavyweight Champion punches Show in the face a few times, but Big Show throws a massive right hand to stumble Khali, then grabs him around the throat! Khali swings his arm down and chops Big Show's arm out of the way, but Show rushes Khali and clotheslines him over the top rope! Khali lands on his feet on the ground, yelling as Ranjin Singh dives away from Show and tries to calm Khali down. As they back up the ramp, Big Show starts grabbing the pottery around his set and throwing them to the ground outside the ring, shattering them. Khali backs up the ramp, still yelling at Show, as Show's music hits and Big Show locks eyes with Khali again, then raises on arm to a big pop from the crowd.

Michael Cole: Ladies and Gentlemen, The Big Show is back!

JBL: I think even Khali has got to be nervous about this. There's someone his own size on Smackdown! And he wants the World Heavyweight Championship!

WWE Summerslam!

August 26, 2007

Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, NJ

World Heavyweight Championship:

"Khaliwood" Great Khali © (with Ranjin Singh) vs The Big Show

Joined in Progress...

JBL: I don't believe it! I have never seen somebody kick out of Big Shows Chokeslam before!

Michael Cole: The look on Big Show's face says it all...what the hell does he have to do to win the belt from The Great Khali?

Big Show, slowly rising off the mat with a look of disbelief, quickly shakes it off, the grabs The Great Khali by the hair. He pulls Khali to his feet, then grabs him by the throat again! The crowd pops as Show puts his other hand on Khali's back, but Khali elbows Show in the head to break the attempted Chokeslam. As Show falls back a bit, Khali winds up his arm, and goes for the Brain Chop, but Show reaches up and catches Khali's arm! Show holds Khali's arm from the chop, then throws his arm to the side, accidentally hitting the referee! The ref goes down, as Khali quickly goes for another Brain Chop, but Show moves out of the way, then grabs Khali by the throat again! It takes a few tries, but he's able to get Khali up in another Chokeslam! He makes the cover, but the referee is still out!

Big Show stands up and goes over to the ref to wake him up. As he does, however, Ranjin Singh jumps into the ring with a chair behind him. Singh swings the chair into Show's back, but Show doesn't feel anything. He turns around and just stares ta Singh, who starts to back up but trips over his own feet and falls over. Show just smiles as he grabs the chair from Singh, who continues to scramble back into the ropes. However, as Show starts to raise the chair, two men jump out of the crowd and roll into the ring, chop blocking both of Show's legs! As Show goes down to his knees, the two men both hit the ropes, with one hitting a knee strike and the other hitting a boot to the face at the same time!

Michael Cole: Wait a minute...is that.....that's Deuce and Domino! What the hell are Deuce and Domino doing out here?

JBL: They're doing the smartest things they've done in their short WWE Career...they're aligning themselves with the most powerful man on the show!

Deuce and Domino check to make sure the referee is still down, and Domino grabs the chair Big Show was holding. He pulls Big Show back to a sitting position and holds the chair in front of his face, and Deuce hits the ropes again and drills him with Crack Em' in Da Mouth, driving the chair into Show's face! Show collapses to the mat, and Singh yells at them to get Khali back into it, and they both help the World Champion to his feet. Khali motions at Deuce and Domino, who again pull Big Show up to a standing position, with much struggle. Once Show is on his feet, Khali winds up and drills him with the Brain Chop! Show goes down, and Deuce and Domino leave the ring, with Deuce shaking the referee from the floor, and as he crawls up, Khali puts one foot on Show's chest. Charles Robinson crawls over, and makes the count. 1.....2.....3! The Great Khali retains his World Heavyweight Championship, but not without help from Deuce and Domino!

WINNER: The Great Khali (Retains the World Heavyweight Championship)

Ranjin Singh enters the ring with the World Heavyweight Title and hands it to Khali, who is holding himself up on the top rope to recover. Deuce and Domino both help Khali the rest of the way, and when Khali looks at them, he smiles. Khali steps over the top rope and walks up the ramp, as Big Show is finally stirring in the ring. When Khali gets to the top of the entrance, he turns around and raises the belt in the air, and Deuce and Domino both stand next to him, each raising one arm. Big Show starts to pull himself up, sending a death stare at Khali and his associates at the top of the ramp.

Michael Cole: Oh man, look at the look in Big Show's eyes.

JBL: Khali may have retained his title...but I don't think Big Show is done with him.

Following SummerSlam, Ranjin Singh took great pleasure in announcing Deuce and Domino as the first two recruits of Smackdown’s premier talent agency “Team Khaliwood.” Of course, The Big Show promised to continue his war with the World Heavyweight Champion, and therefore by proxy, the rest of Team Khaliwood. The disgruntled challenger from SummerSlam seemed eager to not only secure another one-on-one showdown with Khaliwood but also exact his revenge on the slick tag team.

Sadly for The Big Show, he found himself falling down a list of “Things to Do” for Team Khaliwood as they instead focused on making all three members of the group champions. Deuce and Domino made their intentions clear on Paul London and Brian Kendrick’s WWE Tag Team Championships so instead of being ignored; The Big Show recruited his former partner Kane to get in their way. And get in their way they did as The Big Show and Kane defeated London and Kendrick as well as Deuce and Domino in a three-way tag team match on Smackdown with Khaliwood helpless to help his two young stars.

Elsewhere the challengers to the World Heavyweight Championship were lining up to their place on No Mercy and although The Big Show got close, he lost out to hot-shot rookie Montel Vontavious Porter who was helped out massively by Khaliwood. M.V.P. earned one of three places in the No Mercy main event although at the show, it quickly transpired that M.V.P. was also on the books of “Team Khaliwood” as he helped Khaliwood to victory in a fatal four-way match that also featured King Booker and Bobby Lashley.

At the same show, Ranjin Singh engineered one of the biggest upsets ever seen in the WWE as Deuce and Domino defeated Kane and The Big Show to win the WWE Tag Team Championships. The tandem gave everything they had in the showdown with the two monsters and with the help of Singh who was up and down off the apron; they eventually succeeded and carried the Gold home.

Naturally the success of Khaliwood, Deuce, Domino and the “unpinned” Montel Vontavious Porter saw a number of wrestlers growing jealous and even more offering themselves up to be signed by “Team Khaliwood.” The first man superstar to disrupt “Lights, Camera, KHALI!” and offer himself to Ranjin Singh was the Cruiserweight Champion, Hornswoggle. Cast aside by a much-focused Finlay, Hornswoggle was laughed out of the ring by Team Khaliwood and although Matt Hardy had just bumped into Team Khaliwood backstage the following week, it was made abundantly clear to him that there would never be a spot available for him in the talent agency; simply because he lacked anything close to “talent.”

Eventually, Team Khaliwood unveiled “The Future” Kenny Dykstra as their fifth member; moments before The Big Show laid down a challenge to the group to meet him at Survivor Series. Having seemingly not put much effort into actually picking a team, The Big Show had soon filled four spots as Kane, Hornswoggle and Matt Hardy joined the ranks. Of course, they all had their doubts about Hornswoggle actually squaring off with Team Khaliwood but once he and Kane worked out a “Big Red Machine assisted Tadpole Splash” that left Deuce clutching his ribs; his place was soon confirmed.

And while Khaliwood enjoyed life in the arena V.I.P. lounge with new “friend” Michelle McCool, The Big Show completed his team of five by adding “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Seemingly disgruntled with the quick success of Deuce, Domino, M.V.P. and Dykstra, Flair signed up with The Big Show and his cohorts so he could make Team Khaliwood understand just a small amount of how much he had to work for his success, by giving them a beating they would never forget at Survivor Series.

TRADITIONAL SURVIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION TEN-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH

Khaliwood Promotions (The Great Khali, MVP, Kenny Dykstra, Deuce Shade, Domino Compton)

vs.

The Show (The Big Show, Ric Flair, Matt Hardy, Kane, and Hornswoggle)

Another exciting Survior Series was coming to its conclusion, but the fans in the American Airlines arena were still glued to their seats in anticipation for the biggest match of the evening, and the main event - the traditional survivor series elimination ten man tag team match. Without further a-do, all five members of Khaliwood came strutting and styling out to the ring in matching uniforms, with the exception of MVP.

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Do you think there could be a more fitting city for these dumbasses than Miami? "

Michael Cole: " In a way, I agree with you. Khaliwood is all about the flash, the thrill, and the style - and that's certainly what it's all about here in Miami. But I wouldn't be calling a 7 foot 3, 420 pound giant, and the World Heavyweight Champion, an idiot. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Well guess what? I'm doin' it - he is an IDIOT. "

As the five members of Khaliwood Promotions stretched in the ring, as always being guided by the words of Rajin Singh, their opposition began to come out to the ring with a BOOM! quickly followed by "The Big Red Machine" Kane to a great ovation. Kane gave Khali a cut throat from the outside of the ring while he waited for his partners. Out next was Matt Hardy, followed by an echo of "WOOOOOs" and "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Kane, Hardy, and Flair awaited impatiently for the remainder of their team, eager to get into the ring and get their hands on Khaliwood Promotions for their dispicable acts over the past few weeks. Then, the crowd stood on its feet as the pyros exploded - "WELLLL... WELLL IT'S THE BIG SHOW." Show came out to a massive eruption from the crowd, and carrying the final member of his team, little Hornswoggle, right on his shoulder. Show dropped little Horny down and strategized with the other four members of his team, before they all hit the ring simultaneously. Khaliwood Promotions wanted none of it, though, and retreated to the outside as soon as their opponents got into the ring. The action slowed down and the match was allowed to begin just moments later, as Matt Hardy stood alone in the ring with the rest of his team on the apron, and was joined by Kenny Dykstra almost immediately.

Michael Cole: " If anybody wants to kick Matt Hardy's ass, JB, it's gotta' be Kenny Dykstra. Kenny's suffered TWO losses to Hardy in recent weeks. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Back up just a second there, pal. JB? What in tha' hell's that crap about? It's J.B.L. - John. Bradshaw. Layfield. It ain't John Bradshaw. Get 'yer facts straight, Cole. "

Cole was certainly right about one thing, though - Kenny Dykstra was out for revenge, and he looked very colorful doing so in his neon green ring attire. As soon as the bell rang, he tackled Hardy to the ground and began working on him with some hard shots to the head, forcing Matt to crawl up into a completely defensive position to avoid getting hit. Dykstra stood up and carried Hardy along with him while hooking his head between his arm and the side of his body, then planted Matt with a DDT and looked for an early cover but to no avail.

Michael Cole: " Kenny Dykstra's an impressive young superstar, "JBL". He might've found the break he was looking for here with the biggest man in professional wrestling by his side. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Well I'll give him that, he made one heck of a decision there. Whenever there's a guy as big as Khali around, you always want to be on his side. "

Dykstra quickly tagged in Domino Compton, as Cherry clapped for him at ringside. Domino continued to work on Hardy with a couple of right hands, but made a big mistake when he irish whipped Hardy across the ring, then had his arm drag countered into an arm drag of Matt's own. Hardy dropkicked Domino right on the head and sent him stumbling back into his corner, where he tagged in his tag team partner, Deuce Shade. Hardy also got a tag of his own, bringing in the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Flair and Deuce ran to the middle of the ring and stared each other down. Flair broke the stare with a "WOOOO!" and a series backhand chop right to Deuce's chest that sent him flying down to the mat. As the referee was distracted, Domino clothelined Ric Flair down from the apron, allowing Deuce to hae a second to regain some momentum before going to work on "The Nature Boy". Shade landed a hard elbow to the back of the head and worked on Flair with a chin lock. After a few stale moments, Flair started to fight back behind the crowd's cheers, and managed to get back up to his feet. He elbowed Deuce a few times in the gut, then irish whipped him, but was countered. As he hit the ropes, Flair was once again hit from the apron by Domino, who this time kicked him right on the back. Furiously, Matt Hardy ran into the ring and jumped onto Domino, knocking him off the apron with a flying forearm before the referee forced him back into his corner.

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Let me tell you who I think is gonna' be the sole survivor in this match... Hornswoggle. "

Michael Cole: " .. I know you're joking when you say that, but if there's something I've learned in my years in the business, is that anything can happen. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Are you freakin' kiddin' me, Cole? I just can't believe Big Show was dumb enough to put that little.. thing.. on his team. What's he tryin' ta' prove? "

Michael Cole: " Nothing! Show and Hornswoggle are friends, JBL. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Oh please... "

The action slowed down for a bit once again, as Deuce tagged in Domino again, and the duo continued to work on a weakened Ric Flair, who was being forced to the ground and never allowed back up by the former tag team champions. Finally, though, Flair was able to take Domino down with a backdrop and gave himself enough time to tag in Kane. The Big Red Machine climbed into the ring over the top rope and dominated Deuce and Domino immediately, clothelining them around and catching Deuce with a sidewalk slam. Domino, however, who was the legal man, tagged in Kenny Dykstra behind Kane's back. As Kane locked Deuce in for a chokeslam, Dykstra climbed to the top rope and waited for the perfect moment to nail him with a missile dropkick, which he landed to perfection. Dykstra might've gotten carried away a bit, though, as he attempted a cover but was pushed off powerfully. Kenny relentlessly continued to attack the Big Red Machine, but it seemed as if his strikes weren't affecting his opponent very much at all. Finally, though, Dykstra did some damage with a flying knee right to the side of Kane's head. Seeing the big man down, Kenny got a little over-confident once again, and climbed up to the top rope in a hurry. He leaped towards his opponent, but Kane grabbed him by the neck from the ground and started making his way back to his feet. In one smooth transition, Kane was back up to his feet, and planted Kenny Dykstra down with a chokeslam, followed by a quick cover - 1...2......3! MVP tried to make the save, but Hornswoggle quickly sprinted into the ring and dove head first into his groin, allowing Kane to get the uncontested three count and the first elimination of the match.

Michael Cole: " And there goes Kenny Dykstra. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Can't say I'm surprised, Cole. You don't just leave 'yerself un-guarded against a monster like Kane. Trust me, I know from experience. "

Eliminated: Kenny Dykstra (by Kane)

Red hot off the elimination of Dykstra, Kane called out any of the four men remaining on Khaliwood. Nobody seemed to want to enter the ring, and it was hard to blame them. Khali pretended to enter the ring by grabbing the top rope, but slicked his hair back instead. MVP then entered the ring and sprinted towards Kane, tackling him down to the mat and nailing him with a series of knee drops. Porter cotinued to land some hard strikes on a downed Kane, but eventually stood back up to taunt the crowd, who was starting to chant for the Big Red Machine.

Michael Cole: " MVP's always going in his own direction, isn't he? I mean, he doesn't care what any-body says, he's just always going to do. and say.. whatever he wants. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " I used to be like that, Cole. Hell, I still am, so I've got a lot of respect for the guy. But I'd bet my ass that he wouldn't last longer than five MINUTES in the ring with me - he's too cocky. "

Michael Cole: " Listen to who's talking... "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Hey, I've got a reason to be confident. I've been the World Heavyweight Champion. Can MVP say that? No, he can't. Truth is.. young guys like him always think they can just walk in off the street and demand respect.. but it don't work that way. I had ta' earn my respect, Cole, and MVP's gonna' have to, too, and he might just have ta' learn that tha' hard way. "

Kane finally escaped MVP's attacks and got to his corner to tag Porter's former tag team partner, Matt Hardy, into the matchup. After a short staredown, MVP and Matt Hardy began exchanging right hands back and forth, with no man gaining a clear advantage. MVP swung with a clotheline, but Hardy timed the counter perfectly and caught his former partner with the side effect. Hardy sprung back up off the ground and jumped up to the second turnbuckle. He waited for MVP to stumble back up on his feet, and after giving the fans the "Mattitude" sign, he jumped off and nailed Porter with a flying elbow to the back of the neck. He covered, but only for a two. Hardy picked MVP up and irish whipped him across the ring. MVP countered the irish whip into one of his own, and caught Hardy with a spinebuster off the ropes. With the momentum back on Khaliwood's side, MVP tagged in Domino and allowed him to go to work on Hardy. All of a sudden, almost all the competitors in the match fell asleep for a second, and Rajin Singh got on the apron to stir up some trouble and force the referee to quickly get in his face and prevent him from entering the match. Matt Hardy was now controlling the matchup against Domino, but was caught by a surprise low blow from behind by Deuce. Nobody on Hardy's team noticed the interference, and Domino promptly took advantage by crawling on top of Hardy and making a cover. Not having seen the interference, nobody even bothered to come in for the save as they figured Hardy would easily kick out. That wasn't the story, though. Domino grabbed the tights for extra leverage and made the count, getting a surprising elimination to even out the teams.

Eliminated: Matt Hardy (by Domino)

Michael Cole: " ... What a bunch of low-lives... Deuce and Domino. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Get used to it, Cole that's the way you've gotta' be if you wanna' get somehere in this business. That's why those guys are former WWE ta team champions. "

The booes at the expense of Deuce and Domino were overwhelming, but didn't stop them from being the fools they usually are as they taunted an eliminated Hardy while he was being escorted out of the arena by the WWE staff, With no hesitation, Ric Flair sprinted into the ring and assaulted Domino, nailing him with a series of backhand chops that could've possibly given 'Naitch a heart attack. Flair followed up with an inverted atomic drop and forced Domino to go crawling back to his corner to tag in Deuce. Deuce sprinted towards Flair, but quickly suffered the same fate as his partner, as he was nailed with a series of chops, then knocked down with a running jumping knee drop. Flair and the WWE crowd then joined together to shout long "WOOOOOO!" as Deuce crawled back into his corner. This time, however, Khaliwood meant business. For the first time in the match, The Great Khali was tagged in. Khali slowly and intimidatingly walked in closer to The Nature Boy, and neither man broke this heated stare down. Then, with a sudden burst of energy, Flair started nailing Khali with a series of backhand chops, trying to give him all he had, but to no avail. The chops barely even seemed to affect the giant, and Flair was quickly tossed out of the way by Khali with one hand.

John Bradshaw Layfield: " What in tha' HELL is that moron of Ric Flair thinkin'? He's tryin' to take down an immovable object with a BACKHAND CHOP... Are ya' freakin' kiddin' me? ... a BACKHAND CHOP... gimme' a break. "

Michael Cole: " ... Tell you what - I'd like to see you get in there and take some of those chops. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " You don't know when to shut'cher mouth, do ya'? ... Matter of fact, I have been in there and I have taken those backhand chops. And yeah, they hurt like hell. But I ain't no 7 foot 2, 420 pound giant, either. Obviously that would hurt me, you freakin' moron. "

Michael Cole: " What's with you calling everybody a moron tonight? "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " I'm just sadly stating what I'm seein' - and that's just a whole bunch of morons. "

Khali continued to dominate Flair with ease. He picked 'Naitch up by his neck with both hands and held him up high in the air to show off his strength. Then, he dropped him down with a double hand choke slam. Flair landed hard against the mat, but managed to crawl back to his corner, where The Big Show slapped his shoulder and tagged himself into the match. The crowd went wild as Show stepped over the top rope and walked towards The Great Khali. Both men standing in the middle of the ring, staring each other down with hate-filled eyes. Then, Show swung, and Khali answered. The two began going punch for punch, chop for chop, shot for shot, until The Big Show managed to surprisingly over-power the giant and knock him down off his feet with a clotheline. Seeing Khali down, Rajin Singh began screaming at ringside for somebody else to step up and help him. MVP took the responsibility and came sprinting into the ring. He shoulder blocked Show twice, but couldn't move him from his position. Porter ran to the ropes for extra charge, but was caught on the way back with Show's giant hand in position for a chokeslam. Just before Show could nail it, though, Khali had gotten back up to his feet and hit Show from behind with a hard chop. Khali then slicked his hair back and followed up with a side kick that sent Show reeling back towards his corner, where Kane tagged himself in. Kane immediately went after Khali with a series of right hands, and actually seemed to be starting to knock the big man over. The Big Red Machine got a little carried away and tried to lift The Great Khali up for a chokeslam, and was obviously unuccessful. Then, chaos broke out as Deuc and Domino hit the ring, looking to attack Kane.

Michael Cole: " This is pure chaos, JBL. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " I know! I love it! "

Ric Flair entered the ring as well, as did Hornswoggle. Flair started going at Deuce and Domino, nailing each of them with backhand chops. Deuce turned towards the turnbuckle in pain, and Hornswoggle ran towards him and nailed him head first in the groin.

John Bradshaw Layfield: " That's a damn low blow! DQ him ref! "

Deuce and Domino now re-grouped on the outside with Cherry and Rajin Singh, but they were quickly followed out by Kane, who took little time to grab Domino and smash him head first into the ring post. With the distraction, Ric Flair managed to chop block Khali's knee from behind enough to knock him down to the mat! The crowd was going wild as the big man was once again off his feet. The Nature Boy looked for the figure four leg lock, but before he could fully lock it in, MVP charged into the ring and nailed Flair right over the head with a vicious elbow followed by a "ballin'!" chant. The Big Show slid to the outside to re-group, but was met by The Great Khali, and the two immediately started exchanging shots. MVP and Flair were left as the only men in the ring, with Hornswoggle lurking nearby in the corner. After a short exchange, MVP shocked everyone by pulling a Playmaker out of nowhere on Flair. With nobody watching, MVP made the cover - 1....2....NO! Hornswoggle jumped onto MVP with all he had to make the save. Porter stood up, but still had Hornswoggle on his back, feisty as ever, and was desperately trying to get him off. He finally did, and transitioned into holding him up for a body slam. Ric Flair was struggling to get back on his feet in the mean time, but as soon as he did, MVP tossed Hornswoggle onto him, then kicked Horny in the back and forced him to fall on top of Flair. With Hornswoggle still on top of Flair, MVP rushed to the ground and covered the both of them - 1....2....3! Flair was unable to kick out because of the extra pressure of Hornswoggle laying right on top of him.

John Bradshaw Layfield: " MVP just eliminated two guys, Cole! This is great! "

Michael Cole: " ... Hold on just a second. I don't think Hornswoggle's been eliminated! "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " What!? Are we watching the same match? MVP just pinned both of those guys! "

The instant replay proved that Hornswoggle was on his stomach on top of Flair, and was not giving him his back to MVP, meaning that he wasn't pinned. He was, however, credited with one half of the pinfall on his own team-mate.

Eliminated: Ric Flair (by MVP and Hornswoggle)

Upon realizing that Ric Flair had been eliminated, Kane and Show looked a bit worried at ringside, as this match was basically now a four-on-two in favor of Khaliwood Promotions, as Hornswoggle won't serve as much help in the ring going forward. Kane slid back into the ring after toying with Deuce and Domino for a bit, and went right after MVP with a series of hard rights followed by an irish whip and a big boot. Deuce ran into the ring to help Porter, but was caught by a big boot of his own. Domino attempted to help as well, but Kane picked him up with ease and carried him on his shoulder for a bit before dropping him down with a powerslam. The Big Red Machine was completely dominant at this point, and called out anybody from Khaliwood Promotions to come into the ring and challenge him, including Rajin Singh at ringside. The Great Khali re-entered the picture and got right in Kane's face, showing him that he clearly wasn't afraid of him. Khali struck with a hard right and a front kick to Kane's gut. Shortly after, The Big Show came back into the ring and started going at Khali with every ounce of strength and energy in him. After pushing Khali all the way to the ropes, Show ran across the ring and clothelined both Khali and himself over the top rope, forcing over 700 pounds of combined weight to fall to the apron and to the outside of the ring.

Meanwhile, on the opposite end, but still outside of the ring, Deuce ad Domino noticed Hornswoggle lurking around corners and trying to stay out of everyone's way, and decided to start toying with him. The duo started to chase little Horny around the ring, but kept making bone-head mistakes that let him get away. After ducking underneath Domino's legs, Hornswoggle crawled underneath the ring. With no hesitation, Domino followed right behind him, while Deuce stayed back but was visibly confused as to what was going on under the ring. By the time the cameras went back to the ring, Kane landed an uppercut to MVP's throat, then caught him with a titl-a-whirl slam, and gave the crowd the signal for the end. He picked Porter up and looked for a chokeslam, but was countered with a few elbows. MVP ran to the ropes and charged towards Kane, but was quickly caught again in position for a chokeslam, and dropped right in the middle of the ring. Kane quickly made the cover - 1...2.....3! The teams were now evened up again at 3-3 as MVP was eliminated.

Eliminated: MVP (by Kane)

Michael Cole: " There goes one of your favorites, JBL. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " 'Ah sure as hell wouldn't wanna' get in Kane's way right now. MVP did, and he paid the price. "

Kane re-grouped back in the ring for a second, while Hornswoggle popped out from underneath the ring and started running around again, followed by Domino who came out with a little bit of a delay. Hornswoggle led Deuce to chase him all the way back in the ring, where The Big Red Machine was standing and ready to eliminate another individual. Hornswoggle stood behind Kane's leg to protect himself as Deuce slowly started to back up and beg Kane for mercy. Kane intimidatingly hovered over Deuce, who was on his knees by now, and reached over to grab him for a chokeslam. He lifted him up with one arm, but before he could nail the maneuver, Domino kicked his shin and forced him to release the hold. The former Tag Team champs went right to work on Kane as a unit, and used the numbers game to their advantage, constantly double teaming the big red machine and keeping him grounded. Show and Khali also gave their scuffle a rest and were back on the apron on their respective sides. The referee forced Domino to leave the ring, and Deuce was left in there alone with Kane. Despite the obvious size advantage, Deuce held the upper hand on a weakened Kane, and stomped on him on the ground.

Michael Cole: " I feel like it's only a matter of time before Kane gets up and starts beating the crap out of Deuce n' Domino, these guys can't just keep toying with him. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Sure they can, they're Deuce n' Domino. "

Michael Cole: " And that's the BIG RED MACHINE - your point? "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " .. I don't care, I'll take two men against one any day of tha' freakin' week. "

Michael Cole: " Well, it's not two-on-one JBL, it's three-on-three! "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Maybe it's three on two-and-a-half... "

Meanwhile, Deuce and Domino continued to tag each other in and out of the matchup, working on Kane with ease. Finally, though, after being kept on the ground for a long period of time, the Big Red Machine fought back and caught Domino with a scoop powerslam, allowing him enough time to tag The Big Show into the matchup. Show entered the ring and immediately clothelined a running Deuce down to the mat, followed by a hard clotheline to Domino as well, and an elbow to The Great Khali that sent him flying off the apron and to the outside. Show raised his arm high in the air, but his taunt was cut short when Deuce n' Domino attacked him from behind and started nailing him with a series of hard shots to the head. They irish whipped the giant across the ring, but were caught by a pair of clothelines on the way back. Show now raised his arm once again, and looked to hit a chokeslam on any person in sight. Upon realizing that, Rajin Singh jumped up to the apron and sacrificed his own body for the sake of his team. Show grabbed Singh by his neck, and tossed him into the ring with force.

Michael Cole: " Rajin Singh's gonna' get chokeslammed, JBL! "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " I cannot believe this! Somebody stop that man! "

Show wrapped his big hand around the tiny neck of Singh, and prepared to raise him up for a chokeslam. He took a questionably long time getting Rajin up to his feet, and The Great Khali had enough time to come back into the ring and save his manager with a chop to Show's back. After a series of hard shots, Khali took Show's head and smashed it right into the turnbuckle, following it up with a series of knees to the gut. Khali continued to go to work on Show, and set him up against the ropes. He sprinted towards him, but Show showed a great deal of power by bending over and lifting Khali over his shoulder and over the top rope! As the instant replay showed the maneuver from a closer angle, Show was already climbing over the top rope to continue his fight with Khali on the outside. As both men started exchanging hard shots, Hornswoggle tentatively entered the ring while Deuce n' Domino recovered. As soon as they noticed Hornswoggle, the duo started chasing him around once again, desperately trying to get their hands on him. The little guy began sprinting as fast as he could all over the ring, but this time, he was caught only a few short seconds later by Deuce. Hornswoggle tried to fight out of Deuce's grip by punching and kicking relentlessly, but was unsuccessful. Deuce n' Domino talked for a second, the looked to place Hornswoggle in position for the West Side Stomp.

Michael Cole: " OH COME ON! "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " YES! Just what I came to see! "

Michael Cole: " This is DISPICABLE! "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " ...... YES! "

Just when it seemed like Hornswoggle was going to receive the biggest beating of his life, Kane ran into the ring and nailed the former tag team champions with some uppercuts to the throat in order to save his partner. Kane got Domino in position for a chokeslam, but Deuce chop blocked his knee from behind. Then, out of nowhere, Domino grabbed Kane up for a bearhug, and Deuce followed right up with a jumping heel kick enzuigiri, nailing the West Side Stomp on Kane out of nowhere! As the crowd booed, both Deuce n' Domino rushed on top of the Big Red Machine to make the pin - 1....2.....3! Yes! Kane was eliminated from the matchup, leaving The Big Show with Hornswoggle as his only partner!

Eliminated: Kane (by Deuce n' Domino)

Michael Cole: " CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS, JB!? KANE'S OUT! "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " It's over for Team Show, I'll tell you that much. There's no WAY Big Show can fight off The Great Khali AND the former WWE tag team champions with only Hornswoggle on his team. I'm sorry for Show, but this just ain't gonna' be his night. "

Just as JBL finished saying that, the WWE staff escorted Kane out of the ring, although the big red machine was clearly furious over his elimination. After a short celebration, Deuce n' Domino got right back to doing what they had been doing for a long time in this matchup - chasing around Hornswoggle. Meanwhile. on the outside of the ring, The Big Show managed to knock Khali down with a double axe handle off the apron. Hornswoggle noticed Show's dominance, and ran towards him. Deuce n' Domino chased him right over, but backed up as soon as they stood in front of the five hundred pound Big Show. Show went to work on the former tag champs with a couple of rights, then picked up Hornswoggle and swung him towards Domino with his legs out for a dropkick. All of a sudden, in a moment of desperation, Rajin Singh rushed to the action and mounted on top of Show from behind, trying to cover his eyes and blind him. Show tried to fight him off with all he had, but by the time he did, The Great Khali was there to catch him with a big boot. As Show was knocked down on the outside, Deuce n' Domino started double teaming him with a series of kicks. Khali took his attention off the big man, and angrily stared down at Hornswoggle, who was nearby. Horney ran for his life, and clearly wasn't going to be caught by the 7'2 mammoth. Unfortunately for Hornswoggle, though, Rajin Singh snuck around a corner and hooked him as soon as he turned it, grabbing him tightly and laughing his way through it. He brought Horney into the ring, and was followed in by The Great Khali. Singh finally handed Hornswoggle over to the WWE champion.

Michael Cole: " Oh my god.. please don't do this... This is going to be an eight foot fall for Hornswoggle. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " CHOKESLAM THAT SOME' BITCH THROUGH THE RING! "

Khali raised Hornswoggle high up in the air as the crowd booed. All of a sudden, though, The Big Show started to fight back and over-powered Deuce n' Domino to get them off his back. He ran into the ring, and forced Khali to drop Hornswoggle. Show swung with a clotheline, but Khali ducked, then tried to hook Show's neck in for a chokeslam. Show fought back quickly with a couple of kicks, then ran to the ropes for an extra charge to knock Khali down. The WWE champion, however, caught The Big Show right off the bounce and nailed him with a quick chokeslam! The crowd started to boo, anticipating a victory from Khaliwood Promotions here at Survivor Series. Khali walked towards Show, looking to put an end to things, but Hornswoggle courageously stepped in front of him and started swinging towards the giant with every ounce of strength in his body. Khali looked a bit confused by Hornswoggle's attempt to fight him off. He watched him for a few seconds, then eventually kicked him right in the head with a big boot! Hornswoggle was knocked out cold, and Khali simply put one foot over him and made the very easy three count, officially eliminated Hornswoggle from the match, and leaving The Big Show in a one-on-three situation.

Eliminated: Hornswoggle (by The Great Khali)

Immediately following Hornswoggle's elimination, Khali looked for The Big Show, who was re-grouping on the outside. Once the champion saw him, he went right to the outside and right after him. Show managed to evade him for a while, but was held back by Deuce n' Domino near the announce tables, and was forced to face the big man once again. Khali swung towards Show with some hard chops, one of which accidentally hit Deuce right on the head. Show started to walk away once again, heading towards the ramp, but was followed all the way there by The Great Khali. Khali nailed Show with a couple of right hands, and almost forced him to fall on the entrance ramp. Then, in an amazing sequence, The Great Khali missed a clotheline, and The Big Show promptly countered by hooking Khali's legs and lifting him up for a scoop slam right on the concrete floor! Show immediately fell to his knees and grabbed his back, obviously having utilized a lot of strength to lift the WWE champion. With Khali seemingly out cold for a while, Show started limping back down to the ring, where Deuce and Domino were waiting for him.

Show slid right into the ring and was met by a few shots at the hands of Deuce n' Domino. Shortly after, though, the big man tossed both men off of him and screamed to the top of his lungs. He caught each man with a clotheline, then stood near the turnbuckle with his arm raised high in the air, signaling the chokeslam. As Deuce n' Domino each stood up at the same time in the middle of the ring, Show grabbed both of their necks with his hands. He waited for a few seconds. Then, as the crowd erupted, Show lifted both men up simultaneously and dropped them down for a pair of chokeslams! Show once again grabbed his back, obviously having used up a lot of strength in such a short period of time. Then, upon realizing that Khali was starting to stand back up from the body slam, Show grabbed Domino by his hand and tossed him on top of his tag team partner before falling on top of the both of them and making the cover - 1....2....3! Neither Deuce or Domino were able to kick out with five hundred pounds hovering over them. And just like that, it was down to two.

Michael Cole: " Can you believe this JBL!? The Big Show is single handedly running through Khaliwood Promotions! "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " GET UP KHALI. "

Michael Cole: " Here we go, JBL, this is what everyone's been waiting for. "

Eliminated: Deuce n' Domino (by The Big Show)

Michael Cole: " Here we go, JBL, this is what everyone's been waiting for. "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " Tha' two biggest man in professional wrestling, toe-to-toe, I LOVE IT. "

Show went back to the outside to meet Khali, who was just starting to fully get back up to his feet. The two exchanged some shots, but Show was able to bring Khali back towards the ring while taking in some right hands. Show then answered back with a hard slap to the chest, and tossed the big man back into the squared circle. Show wasted no time, and immediately tried to go to work on The Great Khali, looking to pick him up for another body slam. This time, though, he failed, as Khali rained down some rights to the head and held his ground nicely. Show went reeling backwards, holding his back, but charged right back towards the big man. Khali smoothly scouted the maneuver, though, and grabbed The Big Show up for a body slam of his own! Out of nowhere, Khali dropped Show right down to the mat with a body slam! Khali went crashing down to the mat as well from the strain of the slam, and needed a few seconds to crawl over on top of Show for a cover - 1....2.....NO! Show just barely got a shoulder up.

After an instant replay showed the body slam from Khali, the cameras went back to the ring, where Khali picked The Big Show back up off the ground, and looked to try and chokeslam him off his feet. Although the body slam was successful, the chokeslam wasn't. Show held his ground, then countered with some elbows to the side of the head. One of the elbows forced Khali to do a 360, and on his way back, Show looked to nail him with a chokeslam of his own, but to no avail. Both giants were unwilling to let the other gain the upper hand, and continued to exchange shots, but were visibly tired as the match was nearing its conclusion. Then, each man attempted a chokeslam one more time to put an end to things. This time, however, they locked their arms in each others' necks simultaneously. The crowd was on their feet.

Michael Cole: " WHO'S GONNA' GIVE IT UP FIRST, JBL!? WHO'S GONNA' HIT THE CHOKESLAM!? "

Show looked like he was about to lift the champion off his feet, but couldn't. A few seconds later, Khali seemed to be on the verge of lifting the five-hundred pounder off his feet with one arm, but he was also unable to. Both men broke the hold when they realized that neither was gaining an advantage. Show sprinted right back towards Khali, though, but got caught with a spinning kick to the mid section. All of a sudden, Khali placed both of his hands on Show's neck and tried to lift him up for the Khali Bomb, but just didn't seem to have enough in him to fully lock it in. Khali continued to nail Show over the head with a series of chops, trying to weaken him up for the maneuver, but was still having some trouble getting the big man on his feet. Show tried to fight back, and the crowd started chanting his name as he almost freed up his right arm to lock it in around Khali's neck as well. Then, all of a sudden, Khali reached down deep for every little ounce of strength he could find, and lifted the Big Show up off his feet. The crowd stood up.

Michael Cole: " I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, JBL! HE'S GOT THE BIG SHOW UP FOR THE KHALI BOMB! "

John Bradshaw Layfield: " This is GREAT. "

Shortly after, Khali slammed the five-hundred pounder down to the mat with the Khali Bomb, causing a "HOLY SHIT!" chant from the crowd. It was obvious that Khali utilized everything left in him to nail that maneuver, and couldn't immediately get back up to cover the big man. He eventually slid over on top of him, and hooked the leg. Rajin Singh raised his arms up in the air as the referee made the count - 1.....2.......3! Khaliwood Promotions wins! Once again, The Great Khali was able to get the better of The Big Show, and Khaliwood continues to reign supreme on Smackdown!

Eliminated: The Big Show (by The Great Khali)

Winners: Khaliwood Promotions (The Great Khali, MVP, Kenny Dykstra, Deuce n' Domino)

As soon as the bell rang, The Great Khali was joined in the ring by Rajin Singh, and as his music hit, he started goofily dancing away, touching his hair and his body in a very sensual way. Survivor Series came to a close on the image of Khali's big ear-to-ear grin as he danced over The Big Show's motionless carcass. Is this really the man that's representing Smackdown! as the WWE champion? ... Unfortunately, it seems that way.

Talk show and SummerSlam match by The Brian J, Survivor Series match by El Prez, remainder by FD.

================================================================================

Finally, The Frizzeak Shizzow.

On SmackDown! in October 2008, vignettes have begun to air plugging a new wrestler named Kizarny (is that spelled right?), a strange-looking man who speaks in carny and seems to be using a carnival sideshow freak gimmick. In keeping with WWE's proud tradition of sideshow freak characters, your job is to build a heel stable around Kizarny in time for Survivor Series.

This stable must consist of the following:

* Kizarny himself

* A wrestler with a strongman gimmick who is not currently employed by WWE (past employees are acceptable)

* A new worker debuting under the old Doink the Clown gimmick

* One other freakish worker of your choice, either employed by WWE or not

* Hornswoggle

In addition, you must be prepared to buiild a five-man Survivor Series team featuring Finlay and four undercard workers, two of whom must be in a tag team together. All five men must currently be active on either SmackDown! or ECW.

You must write the following:

1. Kizarny's official debut, either a match or a promo. Either way, Kizarny must speak, and we must get some impression of his freakish nature as well as the fact that he's a heel.

2. The segment in which Hornswoggle turns on Finlay and joins Kizarny.

3. A segment that builds toward a partner for Finlay (Kizarny's chief foe) for an eventual Survivor Series match-up. A member of Kizarny's stable that isn't Kizarny himself must be involved, either in a match or some kind of attack. Finlay must save the victim from a beating.

4. A backstage segment--to air at Survivor Series--in which Finlay rallies his team. At least one member of the team besides Finlay must speak as well.

5. The ten-man Survivor Series match between Kizarny's stable and Finlay's team. You pick the winner.

Responding to these rules, the team of Essa, Buddy Awesome, and 9 to 5.

Not responding to these rules, the team of NBT, Be, and Downward Spiral. Although DS did contribute his segments, his teammates bailed.

1. Kizarny Debut Promo: The scene before SmackDown sends off to a commercial break is set to the outside of a carnival, and we are treated to the sound of some traditional circus music to better accustom us with the surroundings. Several images quickly flash over the screen from parents and their children, to a strongman lifting several people up onto his shoulders, a ferris wheel, and finally to a fire swallower. After the mysterious man with his wild hair and crazy make eats the fire from the metal rod, he looks over at the camera with an evil grin on his face and says "My name is Kizarny..." More images flash very quickly on the screen again of the nearby carnival attractions before the camera focuses once more onto the mysterious man now known as Kizarny. The angle changes so that we can see a group of young children gathered in front of this sideshow freak, who then says in his strange way "Wizzelcome tizzoo thizze shizzow!" The kids aren't entirely sure what to make up of this man in his multi-colored ragged pants, who crawls strangely on the floor, making his way over to them. "Rizzides, fizzun, cizzandy..." and with that, Kizarny reaches over and snags a gigantic lollipop from one of the boys, who starts to cry before scampering off. "Mizzine!" A wicked laugh bellows from Kizarny's mouth as he points and laughs insanely at the frightened children. "My name is Kizarny! Dizzoo nizzot forgizzet!" That being said, a logo with the name Kizarny shows up on the screen with the words "Coming to SmackDown! Nizzext Wizzeek!"

2. Hornswoggle Turn: The traditional carnival music fills the arena and Tazz says "Here we go!" After the interesting video vignette last week, everyone is anticipating the debut of Kizarny who makes his way to the ring holding an enormous bag of cotton candy over his shoulder and skipping merrily down the ramp way. As Finlay and his son Hornswoggle waited in the ring with confused looks on their faces, it was apparent that they weren't sure what to think of this strange newcomer who was taunting the fans now by laughing hysterically at them for no apparent reason. "Well he said SmackDown's about to get strange J.R. and I don't think Kizarny's wasting any time in making things just that," Tazz tells his broadcast colleague Jim Ross who replies with "You mean strizzange?"

Upon rolling into the ring, Kizarny slides along the mat like a snake over to Hornswoggle and hands him the massive bag of cotton candy that is bigger than him! "Wizzelcome tizzoo thizze cizzarnival," Kizarny tells Hornswoggle who is now jumping up and down joyously over his gift, which doesn't set to well with Finlay. Much to the dismay of Hornswoggle, Finlay grabs the bag full of cotton candy and throws it out of the ring right onto the announce table. "Now get out of the ring, Finlay tells Hornswoggle, who lowers his head down and leaves the ring on the verge of tears.

"I don't think Hornswoggle's all too happy about his dad taking away the cotton candy Tazz," we hear Jim Ross say as the bell sounds for the match to become officially underway. Kizarny runs straight for Finlay, who throws a clothesline that takes Kizarny down quickly, but then quickly slides on his knees backwards and into a corner. When Finlay turns around to see this, a glance to the outside let's him see Hornswoggle trying to pull the cotton candy away from Tazz, who is telling the little guy "You're dad said no Hornswoggle!" and so Finlay resorts to leaving the ring to reprimand his own son in the form of a spanking! Now with Hornswoggle in tears, Finlay picks him up and sets him back down on the steel steps before getting back in the ring at the referee's count of six.

Taking the advantage, Kizarny stomps down on Finlay before he can even get back to his feet, then hits him with a few arm drag takedowns, a scoop slam, then a high jumping leg drop before making a quick cover, but Finlay is quick to kick out right at two. The circus sideshow Kizarny slithers backwards again, then gives Hornswoggle a sinister grin, but pays no attention to Finlay who has gotten back up in time to deliver a swift kick right to the face of Kizarny! "Ooh man," Tazz says out loud following this as Finlay picks Kizarny up and throws him out of the ring through the middle rope. As Kizarny hits the floor, Hornswoggle goes to check on him, which again makes Finlay upset as he climbs out of the ring and yells at his son to stay away from him once again. "I warned you about those people," Finlay says after sliding Kizarny back into the ring and following him back in.

But before Finlay can do much more, Hornswoggle has climbed into the ring looking irate, and Finlay doesn't see this. From behind, Hornswoggle picks up the shillelagh and just when Finlay reaches out to pick Kizarny up, it happens! Hornswoggle slams the shillelagh right into the back of his own father's leg, and continues to do so over and over. The referee calls for the bell instantly, and Finlay is awarded the match as a result of a disqualification. But that's not the end of it. Kizarny begins to laugh out loud once again in his deep, bellowing fashion, all the while Hornswoggle jumps up and down on Finlay's leg, further injuring his father. "What the Hell's going on here?" asks Tazz as Kizarny slips out of the ring only to grab the cotton candy back from the announce table, then bends over into the ears of the commentators and says "Wizzelcome tizzoo thizze cizzarnivle!"

When Kizarny gets back in the ring, he kicks at Finlay's hurt leg and hands Hornswoggle the bag of cotton candy as the little bastard rips the bag open and digs into it with his teeth. With Finlay yelling in pain on the ground, Kizarny gets on one knee to hunch over his fallen opponent, then laughs again until Hornswoggle jumps up into Kizarny's waiting arms. With Kizarny holding Hornswoggle, he hand-feeds him another bite of the cotton candy while Jim Ross expresses that he can't believe what he's just seen.

3. Attack & Finlay Save: We're joined in the backstage area by none other than Jesse and Festus, who are standing by with Todd Grisham. As Festus looks on in his trance, Jesse is all smiles when he hears the question proposed to him by Grisham. "Jesse, with Survivor Series just two weeks away, the question I've gotta ask you is this. Are you going to take Kizarny up on his offer for you and Festus to join his circus sideshow against Finlay's and his army?"

It isn't long until Jesse has his answer. "Well Todd I did give it some thought, but unfortunately for Kizarny, I just gotta tell him no. I mean, he wants my right hand man Festus and I to join his team of freaks, and we appreciate the offer, but do we look like freaks to you, Todd?"

Put off by the sudden question, Grisham tells Jesse "Truthfully, Jesse, I think he was more referring to Festus here." The camera closes up on the face of Festus before Jesse talks again...

"What? Why would he even think that? Festus here may look a little rough around the edges, but he's the sweetest most lovable guy in the world! How could anybody say he looks like a freak? That right there, Todd, is the face of a tender man, I tell you!" The camera once again closes up on Festus before Jesse continues. "But to be honest with you, I kind of thought that was what Kizarny was thinking. The truth of the matter is, Festus and I were so offended with the thought of Kizarny thinking he was a freak, that we decided to help out his enemy!"

"You mean?" Todd Grisham can't finish his sentence before Jesse, nodding, continues...

"That's right! We joined the team of Finlay, and we're proud to say we're the first to come aboard! He's been asking around, but as of right now the teams are three on two! I'd say that gives us the advantage, don't you think so Todd?"

But before Grisham can answer, Hornswoggle comes running onto the set, growling angrily in his new attire that resembles Kizarny damn near perfectly. Jesse laughs at the little guy, telling Festus to look at how cute he is, but is kicked in the shin from Hornswoggle! "Why you little..." is all Jesse gets the chance to say before the midget in front of him takes off in a sprint to get away. Leaving Festus behind in his quiet state, Jesse takes off running after him. The chase doesn't last long, because when Jesse turns the corner, he finds himself running right into a human brick wall. "What the Hell? That's Butterbean! What's he doing here?" wonders Jim Ross, but it quickly becomes obvious as Hornswoggle hides behind the massive tree trunk-like legs of Butterbean. Jesse turns from side to side trying to get past Butterbean, but he takes up practically the whole width of the hallway.

"Come on guy get outta my way," Jesse tells Butterbean, but is quickly shoved back hard into a soda vending machine, and showing a little bit of speed for a man his size, Butterbean charges and avalanches Jesse with such force that the machine topples over underneath them! As he stands up, Butterbean pulls Jesse up to his feet by the hair, then picks him up high over his head in a gorilla press slam, then presses him up and down. "Every carnival needs it's muscle man," Butterbean tells Jesse, but just as he's about to drop him, we hear a ding! After the sound of the bell, there's a loud roar and the camera's change position to see Festus coming alive! And right by his side is Finlay, holding a timekeeper's bell!

Before Festus and Finlay can get to Butterbean and Hornswoggle, however, Butterbean throws Jesse hard right into Festus, who catches his partner with ease! Seeing this, Hornswoggle pulls on the pants leg of Butterbean, who then turns and the two of them make haste to get out of there. When Finlay, Jesse, and Festus start to chase after their rivals, though, the hallway is suddenly filled with smoke! "Damn it!" Finlay says angrily while Jim Ross expresses that he's never in his life seen anything as strange as this in wrestling, but things only get weirder when a strange laugh fills the smoky hallway. With that, the scene comes to an end in very bizarre fashion.

Pep Rally

We head backstage now before the match starts and we're in Finlay's locker room. Mark Henry, Jesse, Festus and of course Finlay are back there.

Finlay: Where the hell is the damn Boogey Man? We're up next.

The room turns red and the music starts. The Boogeyman appears from behind a couch, holding his clock in his mouth.

The Boogeyman: Tick... tock.... tick... tock...

The Boogeyman is about to smash the clock over his head, but Finlay grabs it instead.

Finlay: Maybe you should hold onto this. If I'm going to have a freak on my team, you better show up on time.

The Boogeyman starts laughing maniacally.

The Boogeyman: I'll try and be more... punctual! AHAHAHAHAHA.

Boogey shoves some worms down his throat and slinks back behind the couch.

Mark Henry: Someone wanna remind me why he's on this team again? He a freak. He needs to be on the other team wit' all them other freaks.

Finlay barges forward with his shillelagh in hand and holds up to Henry.

Finlay: Don't you call my son a freak. He fell in with the wrong crowd. He's a good boy. And tonight we're gonna go out there, beat the bloody piss out of Kizarny and take take my boy back. Right big man?

Finlay eases up and then pats Festus on his shoulder. Festus just turns his head with his usual look of a chemically enduced stupor.

Jesse: Uh, well, you see sir, my cousin Festus here likes to save all of his emotion for the ring.

Finlay looks uneasy towards Festus, like he's wondering what he got himself into.

Finlay: Well, good... good... Alright guys, let's get out there and show them that you're with Finlay, and you love to fight!

__________________

Kizarny, Hornswoggle, Doink, Butterbean and Kamala

vs

Finlay, Mark Henry, Jesse, Festus and The Boogeyman

The two teams huddle up in their respective corners, deciding who will be the first one to enter the ring. Kizarny steps up and heads to the middle of the ring, while his teammates all back out of the ring and get on the apron. Finlay jumps at the chance to get in there with Kizarny, the man responsible for turning his own son against him. Finlay comes at Kizarny pretty fiercely, leading Kizarny to quickly back up into his own corner and tag in the Ugandan Giant.

Kamala gets in the ring and starts slapping around at his gigantic stomach. Kamala then points a finger over at Finlaay. Finlay mockingly points one back at himself, and then waves Kamala on. Kamala obliges and runs over towards Finlay, but Finlay quickly kicks Kamala's knee out from under him. Kamala falls forward and crashes face first into the middle turnbuckle. Finlay lays a couple of stomps into the lower back of Kamala before tagging in The Boogeyman. Boogey gets in and takes some time to gyrate for the crowd, before pulling Kamala up to his feet. Boogey turns Kamala around and shoves him him backwards into the corner. Boogey goes to attack Kamala, but Kamala shoves him backwards, leaving a few feet of space in between the two. Boogey again starts to do his gyrating which only serves to infuriate Kamala. Kamala starts slapping away at his giant stomach again, and it's almost as if we have a dance off to start the match. Eventually the two stop dancing and run towards each other, where Kamala gets the upper hand and tackles Boogey.

Boogey and Kamala roll around hitting each other with fists and slaps, basically looking like the least visually stimulating ECW catfight in history. Eventually Boogeyman gets the upper hand, by stuffing a handful of worms into Kamala's mouth while Kamala had him mounted. Kamala got up and started spitting out worms, while Boogey started gyrating and waiting for Kamala to turn and face him. But BAM! Butterbean fires a right hook from the apron that catches Boogeyman right in the back of the head. Boogey tips over slowly and falls to the mat unconscious from the shot by Butterbean. Kamala drops a big splash on Boogey, and lays on top of him. One... Two... THREE!

The Boogeyman has been eliminated.

The referee rolls the still unconscious Boogeyman out of the ring, while Kamala gets up and celebrates. Kamala keeps on celebrating even as Mark Henry comes in the ring behind him. Henry, the former World's Strongest Man (before Butterbean beat him with his right hook for the right to that title) had a point to prove here. He taps Kamala on his shoulder to turn him around, and then plants him with a 400 plus pound World's Strongest Slam! Or should it be World's Second Strongest Slam? Either way, Henry covered Kamala. One... Two... THREE!

Kamala has been eliminated!

Kamala gets booted out of the ring by Henry, who then taunts Butterbean. He's begging Butterbean to get in the ring with him, so it came as quite the surprise to Henry when Doink The Clown hit a dropkick to the back of Henry's knee. Henry stumbles forward a bit, giving Doink enough time to get up, hit the ropes and hit another dropkick to the other knee. Henry goes down to a knee, but pops up pretty quickly. Doink goes to the well yet again, and hits the ropes. He comes back, and narrowly avoids a clothesline from Henry. Doink barrels into the ropes again and this time hurtles himself at Henry with a Crossbody! But as you could expect, Mark Henry snatched Doink out of mid air. He was about to drop him with the World's Second Strongest Slam, but before he could, Kizarny came in the ring and dove forward, hitting a chop block on Henry. Henry falls flat on his back, with Doink laying on top of him! Doink tries to hook his tree trunk of a leg. One... Two... Kickout!

And boy was it a kickout. Henry sends Doink flying halfway across the ring with that kickout. Doink and Henry are quick to get back up to their feet, leading Doink to run at Henry again. Henry reaches out to grab him, but Doink slides between Henry's legs and tags in Kizarny, blind to Henry. Kizarny quickly gets in the ring and stands on the middle turnbuckle. Henry turns, and Kizarny dives off the middle turnbuckle and hits him with a Shoulder Tackle that sends Henry stumbling backwards into his ropes where Jesse makes a blind tag by slapping Henry's shoulder. Kizarny starts to head over to Henry, but gets blindsided by a springboard dropkick that takes him down to the mat! Jesse gets up just as Kizarny does, and hits him with a Deep Armdrag take down. Kizarny pops up again, only to get yanked down with another Armdrag takedown. Jesse gets up and hurls Kizarny into Kizarny's corner. Jesse charges in and leaps up onto Kizarny, attempting a Monkey Flip, but Hornswoggle pops up on the middle turnbuckle and yanks Jesse off the turnbuckles by his hair! Jesse hits the mat hard, which draws Finlay into the ring to come yell at his son. The referee quickly intervenes before it gets out of hand, which only leads to it getting further out of hand. Kizarny, Butterbean and Doink put the boots to Jesse all while the referee was busy getting Finlay out of the ring.

As the referee turns around, Butterbean slaps his hands together to simulate a tag. Butterbean toys with Jesse for a moment, with Jesse barely being able to get up on his knees. Butterbean paint brushes him a little bit in the back of the head before helping Jesse up to his feet. He tells Jesse to put up his dukes, and he does to try and protect himself, as Butterbean starts shadow boxing and psyching out Jesse. With Jesse covering up his face, Butterbean lands a body shot that drops Jesse back down to his knees. Jesse is leaned over, and close to dry heaving when Butterbean just plants a massive forearm across his back, driving him down into the mat. After a little more messing around, Butterbean picked Jesse up for the World's Strongest Slam. Butterbean walked around, carrying Jesse and rubbing salt in Mark Henry's wounds. But Mark Henry wouldn't take much more of that. The showboating got the better of Butterbean, because Mark Henry came in and booted Jesse right in the back, knocking him down on top of Butterbean. Butterbean flings Jesse off of him before the referee could even get a one count. Butterbean stood up but Mark Henry immediately ran in and tackled him into the ropes! Both men spill to the outside and land on their feet! These two big hosses are throwing punches at each other! The two strongest men in the WWE are throwing fisticuffs, completely disregarding the referee's count. It seems like Mark Henry is getting the better of Butterbean, as he rams him backward into the steel ring post. But just seconds later Butterbean rams Henry into the security barricade! Eventually this fight spills out into the crowd! The two behemoths brawl towards the back, and the referee's count hits 10. The referee informs the timekeeper that Mark Henry has been disqualified for attacking the legal man.

Butterbean and Mark Henry have been eliminated!

Jesse is still hurting in the ring, so Doink quickly tries to get in there and go to work on him, but Jesse makes the tag to Festus. Festus gets in and starts throwing wild ass haymakers. He's hitting everyone in sight. He hits Doink, then Kizarny gets in the ring and takes a wild haymaker. Hornswoggle even tries to slow Festus down, only to get a boot to the stomach that sends him rolling out of the ring. Doink gets back up and tries to attack Festus, but Festus throws an ugly left hand at him that knocks Doink back into the ropes. Doink bounces off the ropes, and Festus hits him with a Sidewalk Slam that shakes the ring. Festus quickly hoists Doink up into the air in a Gorilla Press when... we hear a bell ringing? Hornswoggle is outside the ring, hammering away at the ring bell. Back inside the ring, Festus goes docile! He drops Doink, who lands on his feet behind Festus. Festus sticks his tongue out and just stands there like he's powering down. Jesse calls to his cousin to snap out of it, but before he can, Doink school boys him. One... Two... THREE!

Festus has been eliminated!

Jesse is pissed off, and he beats Finlay into the ring. The referee quickly restrains Finlay, who yells at Jesse "What the hell 're ya doin?" Jesse jumps out of the ring and starts chasing Hornswoggle around! Jesse chases Hornswoggle for about a lap around the ring, until Hornswoggle slides into the ring. Jesse quickly follows Hornswoggle in, but it lead him right into a trap. Hornswoggle quickly slid back out of the ring, as Jesse ran right into the Tallulah Bell (Double Underhook DDT, into a Body Scissor submission)! Jesse fought for a few seconds but ends up tapping out!

Jesse has been eliminated!

It's now a 3 on 1. Finlay has to deal with Doink, Kizarny and his own son Hornswoggle! Finlay gets in the ring, as Kizarny slithers back into his corner. Kizarny gets up into the corner and starts strategizing with his partners, but their pep talk is cut short because Finlay comes rampaging in. Kizarny ducks out of the corner, and Finlay crashes into it. Kizarny goes to boot Finlay in the gut, but Finlay grabs his foot and takes down Kizarny. Finlay starts pummeling him with brutal punches to the face. The referee gets in between them to give Kizarny some breathing room. But as they're being separated, Kizarny rakes Finlay's eyes. Finlay stumbles around blindly, allowing Doink to punch him right in the face. Finlay turns around and gets planted with a Spinebuster by Kizarny. Kizarny goes for the cover. One... Two... THR... No, Finlay kicks out. Kizarny is frustrated, but he picks Finlay up and tags in Doink.

Kizarny holds Finlay's arm up in the air, allowing Doink to get a cheap shot on the exposed ribs. Finlay hunches over holding his ribs, so Doink hits the ropes and then hits a knee lift on Finlay's nose, knocking him down to the mat. Doink hits the ropes and then drops a knee right across the nose of Finlay. Doink starts hopping around laughing and giggling, as the crowd starts to boo the shit out of him. It looks like Doink's showboating will get the better of him as Finlay stands up behind him. But Doink turns around and pulls on the flower on his shirt. Some liquid shoots out of the flower and sprays Finlay in the eyes! Finlay swings his fists around at anything that moves, allowing Doink to grab at his arm and plant him with a Single Arm DDT!

Doink again takes some time to taunt the crowd, before climbing all the way up to the top turnbuckle. He's going for the Whoopie Cushion! He leaps off the top rope, but he eats boot! Doink stumbles around like a drunk, only for Finlay to get him and crush him with the Celtic Cross! Finlay covers Doink. One... Two... THREE!

Doink The Clown has been eliminated!

Finlay wastes no time in getting his hands on the man that stole his son away from him. He grabs Kizarny by his long hair and brings him into the ring the hard way. Kizarny tries to sit up, but Finlay picks up some steam and then hits him with a kick right to the spine. Finlay then bounces into the ropes and hits a basement dropkick right between Kizarny's eyes. Finlay pops up to his feet and then just drops all his weight onto Kizarny, ass first. Finlay grabs Kizarny and yanks him up to his feet violently. He calls him a son of a bitch, before flinging him into the ropes. Kizarny bounces back towards Finlay and takes a high back body drop.

Finlay quickly grabs Kizarny from behind in a Chinlock, but then he starts firing away forearm shots to the sides of his face. Kizarny is getting bludgeoned, and eventually the referee breaks up the hold. Finlay is pissed at the referee, but pulls Kizarny up to his feet anyway. He hooks him for the Celtic Cross, but he's too close to Kizarny's corner. Hornswoggle, standing on the middle turnbuckle, slaps Kizarny to tag himself in. The referee acknowledges it the tag, and Hornswoggle is now the legal man. It's Hornswoggle vs Finlay!

Kizarny holds on to the ropes to prevent the Celtic Cross, and eventually the referee forces Finlay to release him. Kizarny slides out of the ring, as Finlay stares at Hornswoggle. The referee yells to Hornswoggle "Get in the ring. Come on. One... Two... I'll count you out Hornswoggle. Three... Four..." Hornswoggle finally gets in the ring and stares down his father. Hornswoggle stays in the corner, and looks scared shitless at the sight of his father.

The referee stands there waiting for Hornswoggle to move out of the corner, but instead of attackin Horny, Finlay tries to talk to him. "You really want to do this, son?" Hornswoggle doesn't say anything, he just continues to look afraid. "You really want to fight your own father, for him?" Finlay points in Kizarny's general direction. "Come back to me Hornswoggle. Come back to your da---" BOOM! From behind, Kizarny dives and whacks Finlay in the back of the head with the shillelagh! Kizarny rolls right back out of the ring before the referee can see the foreign object. With Finlay down, Hornswoggle turns his back towards Kizarny. Horny looks like he's pissed off! He goes and climbs to the top turnbuckle and points to Kizarny! But then Hornswoggle turns and hits a Tadpole Splash on his unconscious father! One... Two... THREE!!!

After the match, Kizarny reaches underneath the ring and pulls out a big bag of cotton candy, even bigger than Hornswoggle himself! The two walk together to the back, with Kizarny holding Hornswoggle's hand.

Finlay has been eliminated!

The winners of this match are Hornswoggle, Kizarny, Doink The Clown, Butterbean and Kamala!

First three segments by Buddy, pep rally and match by Essa, understandable (but still seriously procrastinated) no-show by 9 to 5.

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Thank you to all the teams that actually produced. Those of you who had no-shows on your teams may choose your own replacement members for the semifinals. Only caveats being: no judges, and no one from other eliminated teams. I will provide feedback to these entries over the next couple of days, and I strongly encourage the other judges to do the same. It's not fair to these guys who actually didn't slack and did do the work not to give them some kind of response as to how they did.

Edited May 23, 2009 by GangStarr

[Jimmy]

I'd like to apologize to my team. I had my match written, but chose to go out instead of complete the match. Massive props to TheRaySays for filling in for me and the team. Best of luck to everyone involved. And aplogies for letting my team down.