World Wrestling Federation 1997

[C-MIL]

WWF Monday Night RAW #199

Berlin, Germany

Olympiahalle

Hosts: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross & Vince McMahon

Vince McMahon - "WELCOME EVERYONE to Monday Night RAW! I'm Vince McMahon, alongside good ol' J.R. and 'The King' and we come to you tonight from Germany!"

Jim Ross - "Gentlemen, I'll speak for everyone when I say that it's been absolutely wonderful coming out and meeting all the great fans here in Deutschland!"

Jerry Lawler - "You shouldn't call it that! This is actually a pretty nice place."

J.R. - "Uh, King... Deutschland is German for Germany."

The King - "Well, regardless of what they call it, if they keep making those hot dogs so tasty, I might just up and move my castle here!"

J.R. - "You mean wienerschnitzel?"

The King - "On second thought... that doesn't sound tasty at all."

Vince - "Fans, we've got a tremendous night of action in store for you! Get ready because it's time for..."

??? - "HOLD IT! HOLD EVERYTHING!"

Vince - "What in the world?"

The King - "Look who it is!"

J.R. - "Oh, boy..."

INTERVIEW: "The Manager Of Champions" James E. Cornette

The show came to a sudden stop as James E. Cornette, donning a neck brace, limped out to the ring, clutching a clipboard...

James E. Cornette - "Everybody stop! Halt! Freeze! 'Vershtoppen'! Whatever you idiots say here! I've got an announcement to make!"

Crowd - "Booooo!"

Cornette - "All you morons need to pipe down and listen! What I'm about to say is going to change the face of the WWF, and WrestleMania, FOREVER!"

Crowd - "Boooooo!"

Vince - "WrestleMania? What's he talking about?"

The King - "SHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Cornette - "That's fine, then! I don't mind shoutin' over you people! I don't care if you hear it anyway! This announcement is for one person and one person only... and that's YOU, VADER! Yeah, I know you're watchin' at home. I know you didn't come over on this tour. Well, I'm gonna give these people a minute to SHUT UP and while I do, I want you to put down the pork rinds and sour cream, drag your fat ass up outta that La-Z-Boy, walk right up to that big screen TV and listen close!"

Crowd - "..."

Cornette - "You all see this neck brace I'm wearin'? That's because of you! For the past two weeks I've been lyin' at home in Louisville, bedridden under my doctor's orders. I'm just so blessed that Mama Cornette was willing to stay home from bingo and take care of me."

The King - "Mama Cornette... bless her heart."

Cornette - "You caused me two weeks of agony! Well... get ready for your receipt!"

Crowd - "Yah!"

J.R. - "Oh, my Lord. Is Cornette challenging Vader to a match at WrestleMania?! That's suicide!"

Cornette - "This document in my hand is a legal binding contract... a contract that YOU signed, Vader. Back in 1995, when you first came to the World Wrestling Federation, you and I made a deal. I agreed to manage you, handle everything for you, serve as your spokesman... DO EVERYTHING! In return, I would receive the standard managerial salary of 35%."

Vince - "35%?! The standard?!"

The King - "Quiet, McMahon!"

Cornette - "Over the past two and a half years, do you realize what I've done? Think about it, Vader. Think hard! January 1996... what happened? You attacked President Monsoon LIVE before a nationwide audience. You were dead to rights, buddy! Grounds for immediate termination... until I stepped in! SummerSlam, that same year... what happened? I FINALLY got Monsoon to give you the championship match you deserved, no easy feat by the way. What happened? Count-out victory! I got you an INSTANT rematch! What happened? Disqualification victory! I got you ANOTHER INSTANT REMATCH! The Royal Rumble, this year... Steve Austin wins illegally. I got you placed back into the 'Final Four' match! ME, VADER! ME! I DID IT ALL! And between? Between cleanin' up your messes? Every hotel you slept in, every plane you flew in, every meal you ate... and there were a LOT... EVERY SINGLE MOVE YOU MADE! It was all because you had ME lookin' out for you! ME, DAMMIT! 'THE MANAGER OF CHAMPIONS' JAMES E. CORNETTE!"

Crowd - "Boooooo!"

Cornette - "And FINALLY, after a FULL year of waitin', of sacrificin', of slavin' away from you... it happens! The clock strikes Vader Time! Just when I wasn't sure about you anymore, you did it, Vader. You did it. You became the World Wrestling Federation CHAMPION! Vader, I said it then and I'll say it now... I couldn't have been prouder if it were myself, if it were ME holdin' that title belt. And then... then, Vader... you threw it all away. Right when everything I've ever done for you was about to finally pay off, you attacked me! ME! And with that one selfish, stupid, careless, STUPID move, you threw everything away..."

Crowd - "..."

Cornette - "...or so you thought. Heh heh heh."

Vince - "Huh?"

Cornette - "Vader, I wish it could've been different. I wish you could see how good a team we've been... and could've still been. Still, what you did... it doesn't change anything. I am STILL the 'manager of champions' and, thanks to this contract, STILL YOUR MANAGER!"

J.R. - "WHAT?!"

Cornette - "That's why you're not here tonight, Vader! It wasn't some slip-up in the front office. It wasn't a mistake. As your manager, I pulled you off this show!"

Crowd - "Boooooo!"

Cornette - "And guess what, big man? I can do it again. I can do whatever I want with you! I can have you in Siberia, defending that title against a pack of polar bears TOMORROW! I can have you booked in the Pacific Ocean against Aquaman by Friday! Vader, and you mark my words... if I want to, I can make you crawl all the way down into the ninth circle of Hell and fight the Devil himself ANYTIME I WANT! And I'd do it... but these fans don't deserve to see the WWF World champion..."

Crowd - "BOOOOO!"

Cornette - "...even if it is YOU. I won't keep you in suspense, 'champ'. Your next title defense will be... Sunday, March 23rd, Chicago, Illinois, WRESTLEMANIA XIII!"

Crowd - "YAAAAH!"

Cornette - "And your opponent? That's the best part. You're gonna be facin'..."

Crowd - "..."

Vince - "..."

J.R. - "..."

The King - "..."

Crowd - "..."

Cornette - "You know what? No. No, no, no... not like this. Check your mailbox tomorrow, Vader. There will be tickets for a flight to Worcester, Massachusetts. Show up on RAW next Monday, because I wanna see the look on your face when you find out... find out who's gonna be the NEXT WWF CHAMPION!"

Crowd - "BOOOOOOOOO!"

Cornette - "Oh, and one more thing, Vader... I hope you don't mind flying coach. Heh heh heh."

With that, Cornette smugly walked off...

J.R. - "Somebody call the Denver Police Department! Vader's gotta be LIVID about this!"

The King - "HA! Jimmy Cornette! The greatest manager in the World Wrest... no, you know what? The greatest manager in the world, period!"

Vince - "With an ace up his sleeve it seems. Next week, we find out Vader's opponent. More RAW when we come back!"

OVERALL RATING: 76%

Howard Finkel - "The following contest is scheduled ONE FALL and is for the World Wrestling Federation INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!"

Translator - "Der folgende Wettbewerb wird für EINEN FALL festgelegt und für die World Wrestling Federation INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!"

Crowd - "YAAAH!"

PA - "VRRROOOOOOOOOOOM! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK!"

Fink - "Introducing first, the challenger, from Talladega, Alabama, weighing in at 231 pounds... BOB 'SPARK PLUG' HOLLY!"

Translator - "Zuerst einführen, der Herausforderer, vom Talladega, Alabama, das bei 231 wiegt... BOB 'SPARK PLUG' HOLLY!"

Crowd - "YAAAH!"

Vince - "A terrific ovation from this capacity crowd for the WWF's only dual-sport superstar. He's a champion on the track and tonight... he could become a champion here in the WWF."

Fink - "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Mr. Hughes..."

Translator - "Und his konkurrent, vorbei begleitet zum ring MR. HUGHES..."

Crowd - "BOOOOOO!"

Fink - "From Greenwich, Connecticut, weighing in at 279 pounds, the World Wrestling Federation INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION... HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY!"

Translator - "Vom Greenwich, Connecticut, das bei 279 wiegt, er ist der World Wrestling Federation INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION... HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY!"

WWF INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: Hunter Hearst Helmsley (defending champion, with Mr. Hughes) vs. Bob "Spark Plug" Holly (challenger)

Helmsley tried to outsmart Holly as he leaned his head through the ropes, apparently engaging Mr. Hughes in a last-minute conversation. It proved to be simply a ruse as Holly turned his attention away, allowing Helmsley to blindside him as he charged across the ring. Though the tactic enabled Hunter a brief period of control at the onset, Holly quickly regrouped and began firing back, rocking him with punches before blasting him with a big dropkick! He dropped down for a cover and hooked a leg, picking up a very close two-count for his efforts.

As he formulated his plan of attack, Holly cinched in a side headlock and tried to keep Hunter at bay. The champion attempted twice to power out by lifting Bob up, but Holly kicked his legs to keep himself in command. After suffering a quick series of punches to the rib cage, Holly took Helmsley down with a headlock takeover and cranked away on the mat. Again, Helmsley powered his way to a vertical base and finally escaped the hold by shoving Holly off into the ropes. He ducked down for a back body drop, but the agile NASCAR driver easily leapfrogged him and charged into the far side ropes. He bounced off and launched into a cross body block... but Helmsley caught him in mid-air and drove him down hard with a powerslam!

After failing to keep Holly down for three, Hunter attempted to weaken his neck with a reverse chin lock. This time, it was Holly's turn to fight back underneath, using the energy of the crowd to fuel his fire as he rose back up. He employed Helmsley's own strategy and popped him with shots to the ribs to break the American blueblood's grip on his head and neck. Hunter released the hold, but quickly recovered and snapmared Bob back down. As Holly sat up in agony, Helmsley drilled the toe of his boot into the lower lumbar region with a vicious kick, causing a loud smack to echo throughout the arena!

With Holly's back now tender, Hunter moved in for the kill, planting him in center-ring with a big scoop slam. He backed into the corner, genuflected arrogantly, then rushed and leapt up for a big double knee drop... only to find no one home at the time of landing! As the pain shot up Helmsley's thigh as he stood, Holly made a last-ditch effort to get up. Hunter attempted to cut him off with a flying knee strike, but his leg was too damaged to give him a proper take-off. Holly capitalized by crooking Helmsley's damaged knee with his arm and twisting him into an awkward and devastating slam!

As Hunter's head bounced off the canvas, he was immediately knocked senseless. He struggled to sit up as Holly dragged him towards the turnbuckle, then climbed up top. With the Intercontinental Title within his grasp, Holly jumped off into his patented Pit Stop Plunge splash... only to crash and burn as Helmsley rolled to safety! Seconds after reaching his feet again, Holly was snatched up and driven face first into the mat with a Pedigree! The champion cried out in pain as his knee crashed once more into the mat, but the pain was quickly soothed by the glory of a pinfall victory.

OVERALL RATING: 67%, CROWD REACTION: 64%, MATCH QUALITY: 86%

The WWF Intercontinental title has lost image.

Fink - "Here is your winner... and STILL Intercontinental Champion... HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY!"

Translator - "Ist hier ihr sieger... und NOCH Intercontinental Champion... HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY!"

Crowd - "Boooooo!"

Vince - "Helmsley's winning ways continue here on RAW, to no one's delight but his own."

The King - "Speak for yourself! I know I wouldn't want someone like BOB HOLLY representing the WWF as the Intercontinental Champion!"

J.R. - "Speaking of speaking for yourself, it looks like Helmsley is about to do just that. He's asked for a microphone."

INTERVIEW: Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Hunter Hearst Helmsley - "..."

Crowd - "BOOOOOO!"

Helmsley - "It's come to my attention that a certain 'organization', and I use that term as loosely as possible, has made an invitation to me... and some of my very close associates, for a 'party'. Tonight, I speak on behalf of my friends when I say... so sorry, ECW. We already have plans."

Crowd - "Boooooo!"

Helmsley - "In fact, one of my secretaries called me this morning and reminded me of a previous pending engagement for Sunday, April the 13th. It appears my associates and I are going to assemble at my mansion in Greenwich, which coincidentally is probably large enough to house three or four of your ECW Arenas, and we're going to order the Barely Legal pay-per-view..."

Crowd - "..."

Helmsley - "...and proceed to LAUGH OUR ASSES OFF at all the chumps we got kicked out of the WWF! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Crowd - "Boooooo!"

Helmsley - "No. You're right. I'd best save it for April 13th. Until then, ECW... congratulations on being franchi... ha ha ha ha! I'm sorry. I can't do it with a straight face. It's so stupid."

OVERALL RATING: 79%

The King - "Way to go, Hunter! Those ECW clowns don't deserve the time or attention of people as dignified as us!"

Vince - "Uh, King... I think he was referring some 'other friends' of his."

The King - "Oh."

J.R. - "Why? Were you invited to Greenwich to watch the show at Helmsley's mansion?"

The King - "I wouldn't even want to go. Not if it was to watch Extremely Crappy Wrestling's Barely PEOPLE!"

J.R. - "That wasn't my question. Were you invited?"

The King - "..."

Vince - "Stick around, fans! More Monday Night RAW, live from Germany after these messages!"

ANGLE: BENEVOLENCE

Just before RAW cut to break, cameras caught James E. Cornette relaxing backstage, still celebrating his moral victory from earlier in the evening. With a pair of Slammies in tow, up walked Owen Hart...

Owen Hart - "James!"

Cornette - "Owen! Great to see you!"

Owen - "Good to have you back. I missed you, man. You look great."

Cornette - "I'm feelin' a LOT better... especially NOW! Ha ha ha! We've got Vader RIGHT where we want him! At WrestleMania, he's gonna be the man they call LOSER!"

Owen - "Heh. That's great. Great. In fact... that's kinda why I came over to talk to you."

Cornette - "Oh? What's the matter?"

Owen - "Well... I know you've got a big announcement to make next week."

Cornette - "Do I ever!"

Owen - "And... well, I think I KINDA know what it's going to be, you know?"

Cornette - "Owen, my friend... you know me well."

Owen - "Exactly! That's why I just wanted to ask you, before it's too late, to change your mind."

Cornette - "Change my mind? Why?"

Owen - "Because I think I've got an even BETTER idea!"

Cornette - "..."

Owen - "Okay, picture THIS! WrestleMania XIII, the main event... the WWF champion Vader, one-on-one with... one-half of the WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!"

Cornette - "But I..."

Owen - "DAVEY... BOY... SMITH! OH, YEAH!"

Cornette - "Owen, I... wait. Davey Boy?"

Owen - "Uh huh."

Cornette - "You want me to pick Davey Boy?"

Owen - "Yep."

Cornette - "Really?"

Owen - "I know what you're thinking. Listen, don't worry about me, okay? I've had my WrestleMania moment, remember? WrestleMania X? I pinned my brother Bret LIVE in front of a jam-packed Madison Square Garden! People still talk about it to this day, you know."

Cornette - "Yeah..."

Owen - "But Davey Boy? He's never really had a moment like that in his career, you know? He's never done it. I want him to have that moment. Don't you?"

Cornette - "Of course. Davey Boy's a dear friend."

Owen - "Family, even. Great, so it's settled. Oh! Yeah, also... DON'T tell him I came and talked to you like this, okay? Like I said, this is all about his moment. I'd hate for him to know that he wasn't really the first choice, you know?"

Cornette - "Well, actually I haven't..."

Owen - "All right?"

Cornette - "Yeah. Sure."

Owen - "Great! Thanks for taking care of it, James. You know... I probably don't say this enough, but I appreciate all you do for me and Davey Boy. Vader was an idiot to take the 'manager of champions' for granted."

Cornette - "That he was... and he'll pay for it. Heh, just between you and me... I'm going to write out the contract for the match myself. Forget about any kind of 'championship advantage' for him. This is gonna the toughest title defense of his life!"

Owen - "And... his last!"

Cornette - "HAHAHAHAHA! Thanks a lot, Owen. I'll be honest. I was dreadin' havin' to pick between you guys. You just made the process a whole lot easier. Thanks."

Owen - "Hey, this is Camp Cornette. All for one, one for all, right?"

Cornette - "Exactly. In fact... I'm gonna go type up that contract right now while I've got all these ideas floatin' around in my head!"

Owen - "Go for it!"

Cornette left the room to draw up the match stipulation, visions of a tortured Vader dancing in his head. Meanwhile, Owen grinned as he plopped down on a chair and opened a magazine on his lap. As he leafed through it, he quietly muttered to himself...

Owen - "Whew. Poor Dave."

OVERALL RATING: 78%

Vince - "Welcome back to WWF Monday Night RAW, right here on the USA Network!"

J.R. - "Fans, if you joined us last week, you got to see the Philadelphia-based promotion known as Extreme Championship Wrestling appear as our guests."

The King - "Or, if you were smart... you didn't!"

J.R. - "Either way, the stars of ECW did what they do best, but one WWF superstar didn't take to it well. That man is none other than Bret 'The Hitman' Hart."

Vince - "Bret made a request that one of the 'extremists' of ECW join us again here tonight and take him on, one-on-one, in a standard WWF rules match."

The King - "As if you needed a reason to hate Bret Hart... now he's inviting these degenerates back after security had to kick 'em out!"

Vince - "We understand that ECW has in fact sent a representative here to Germany to answer this challenge..."

The King - "How did he get through customs?!"

Vince - "... so here now, we send it to Howard Finkel for the introductions in this most unique match."

Fink - "The following contest is scheduled one fall!"

Translator - "Der folgende wettbewerb wird für einen fall festgelegt!"

PA - "Welll you can telll by the way I use my walk, I'm a woooman's man, no time to talk... music loud..."

Crowd - "..."

Fink - "Introducing first, representing EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING, he is accompanied to the ring by 'The Big Don' Tommy Rich... from Little Italy, weighing 201 pounds... LITTLE GUIDO!"

Translator - "Zuerst einführen, darstellen Extreme Championship Wrestling, vorbei begleitet zum ring 'Big Don' Tommy Rich... vom Little Italy, das bei 201 wiegt... LITTLE GUIDO!"

Vince - "J.R., what can you tell us about this young man?"

J.R. - "I've got some notes here I'll read from. Obviously, with a name like 'Little Guido', he's not one of the larger wrestlers in ECW, but he is one-half of The Full-Blooded Italians with his partner, Tommy Rich, who's joining him tonight."

The King - "Tommy Rich?! Italian? Are you kidding?!"

J.R. - "All jokes aside, Guido is a well-trained mat technician, trained by the legendary Billy Robinson."

Vince - "Hmmm... impressive resume."

Fink - "And his opponent..."

Translator - "Und sein konkurrent..."

PA - "SKREEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Crowd - "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Fink - "From Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing 234 pounds... BRET 'HITMAAAAAAAAN' HART!"

Translator - "Vom Calgary, Alberta, Canada, das bei 234 wiegt... BRET 'HITMAN' HART!"

Vince - "And he'll need to be every bit as good as that resume suggests... because he's facing the former three-time WWF champion BRET HARRRT!"

The King - "I can't believe I'm saying this, but since this little punk IS representing ECW... come on, Hitman!"

J.R. - "Wow."

Vince - "Once again, it's proven... ANYTHING can happen in the World Wrestling Federation."

SINGLES MATCH: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Little Guido (with "The Big Don" Tommy Rich)

In an effort to be a gracious and proud representative of the WWF, Hart insisted in shaking Guido's hand before the opening bell. Guido donned a sly smirk as he accepted the gesture... then as Bret turned away, ran his fingers beneath his chin, gesturing offensively towards him! The crowd's disgusted reaction to this caused Hart to turn back around, but the wily Italian denied any knowledge of why they had suddenly started booing, even glancing behind himself to see if the source of their rancor was coming from that direction.

At long last, the two locked up in center-ring, jockeying for position. Bret, the more powerful of the two, resisted the urge to drive Guido into the corner and instead opted to keep things technical, transitioning into a hammerlock. Trapped, Guido could only step forward and grab the rope, forcing a break. Hart gladly broke the hold and gave Guido plenty of room to recover. After taking a few seconds to restrategize, Guido charged in aggressively... only to run into a double leg takedown!

Hart wasted no time in grabbing Guido's feet and stepping through, employing the initial technique to lock in the Sharpshooter. Panicked, Guido began flailing and kicking his legs, breaking Hart's grip. Once he had, he scrambled out of the ring and collapsed at Tommy Rich's feet, tightly clinging to The Big Don's legs for safety. Hart refused to follow him to the outside and ordered the referee to get Guido back in the ring. The referee dutifully began counting Guido out as he sought counsel from Rich. Guido did an immediate double-take when Tommy whispered instructions into his ear, but later nodded as Rich explained the plan further.

At the count of nine, Guido rolled back in and loosened up in the corner, preparing to lock horns once more with the Hitman. Bret moved in, looking for a collar and elbow tie-up... then stopped dead in his tracks. Guido stood strong in the center of the ring, challenging Bret to the classic "test of strength", a Greco-Roman knuckle lock! Surprised at his opponent's tactics, Bret took a step bac, then carefully interlocked fingers with Guido and met the challenge head on.

With his height and strength advantage, Hart easily overpowered Guido, forcing the extreme underdog down to his knees. Mustering all the strength in his body, Guido rose back up to his feet, fighting Bret with everything he was worth. Just as it appeared he may actually outpower Bret... Guido took the shortcut and fired a kick into Hart's breadbasket, doubling him over and destroying the integrity of the contest.

With a smug smile, Guido swung his leg up and across Bret's neck, setting him up for the Sicilian Slice rocker dropper. Bret quickly stood up to power out of the move, sending Guido flipping backwards as his leg was lifted high in the air. Guido showed tremendous athleticism by flipping backwards and landing flat on his feet... but Bret dropped him a split-second later with a hellacious clothesline! the impact nearly caused Guido to flip again as he crashed to the canvas!

Literally knocked for a loop, Guido was in no way able to stop Bret as he quickly locked in the Sharpshooter! Too far from the ropes, Guido howled in pain as Hart sat in deep over the small of his back and ripped at his legs. The referee moved in to ask Guido if he wanted to give it up... but before he could answer, Tommy Rich blasted Hart in the head with a home run swing with the Italian flag! The Hitman collapsed in a heap, immediately releasing the hold as The Big Don whacked him again, obviously unaccustomed to the lack of "extreme-rules" in play.

Fink - "Here is your winner, as a result of a disqualification... BRET 'HITMAN' HART!"

Translator - "Ist hier ihr sieger, resultierend aus einer disqualifikation... BRET 'HITMAN' HART!"

Guido rose up from the mat as the ring announcer's decree, grimacing as he surveyed the situation. He briefly argued with Rich, but like any good Italian family, quickly settled the argument with an embrace. With nothing left to lose, the two full-blooded Italians stood over Bret and began putting the boots, and flagpole, to his downed body, savagely beating him as the crowd cried foul.

After nearly breaking the flagpole over Bret's midsection, Rich passed it to Guido and held the Hitman up for what was sure to be the final blow. As Guido took aim... from behind, he suffered a bone-jarring blow to the back of the head! As he saw Guido drop to the mat, Rich was shocked by the face behind the swinging chair. Immediately, he ducked through the ropes to safety, abandoning both his victim and his partner. As he fearfully backed up the aisle, he stared up into the ring as the crazed eyes of Terry Funk stared back.

Guido rolled out of the ring and joined Rich in his exit as Funk wildly swung the chair, daring them or anyone else with designs on attacking the Hitman to try their luck. Of course, facing such an obstacle, none did and the F.B.I. made their defeated yet proud escape. With danger averted, Funk lowered the chair and knelt to the agonizing Hart's side. As he tried to help Bret up, the Hitman pushed him away, determined to leave Olympiahalle on his own accord.

OVERALL RATING: 65%, CROWD REACTION: 64%, MATCH QUALITY: 83%

The King - "SEE?! Do you see now?! These ECW guys are nothing but scum!"

J.R. - "I don't know WHAT I just saw... but I think Terry Funk just rescued Bret Hart. I think."

Vince - "Fans, while we try to make sense of this, let's send you backstage to Sunny who's standing by with... oh, dear... 'The Loose Cannon' Brian Pillman."

INTERVIEW: "The Loose Cannon" Brian Pillman

Pillman - "AAAAAAARGH! DAMMIT!"

Sunny - "Brian! BRIAN! Calm down! Please!"

Pillman - "Calm down? CALM DOWN?! Listen here, you little TRAMP! NOBODY tells me to calm down!"

Sunny - "..."

Pillman - "Do you... I mean, do you even REALIZE what's gone on? What I've done? Do you? DO YOU?!"

Sunny - "I...

Pillman - "ANSWER ME!"

Sunny - "I... don't know, okay? Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be okay."

Pillman - "HA! Ha ha ha ha... YOU'RE sure it'll be okay. Wow. That's just... what a weight lifted off my shoulders! Thank you, Sunny, for that ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT comment!"

Sunny - "You're..."

Pillman - "SHUT UP! You shut your mouth right now!"

Sunny - "..."

Pillman - "I swear to God, you say another word... you, you don't even wanna know, okay? I've got nothin' to lose anymore. Not after last week."

Sunny - "..."

Pillman - "..."

Sunny - "..."

Pillman - "WHAT?!"

Sunny - "..."

Pillman - "Oh, God! Oh, God, Sunny... Sunny, I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean to scare you. DAMMIT! What the hell is wrong with me?! Everything I touch, EVERYTHING, it all falls apart! EVERYTHING!"

Sunny - "Brian?"

Pillman - "What?"

Sunny - "What's... what's going on?"

Pillman - "I really messed up this time. I ruined EVERYTHING! AGAIN! But you saw it! You saw I had to do it! Vader... he was going to kill him or something! I... I HAD TO!"

Sunny - "Kill who?"

Pillman - "SID! Oh, man. I was only trying to help and I RUINED IT! Sid was going to reclaim his rightful place as the WWF World champion! I should've just had faith! No! No, I had to try to help. DAMMIT! Sid got disqualified and now... now this thing with Cornette and Vader and the title... and polar bears. What do I do, Sunny? Help me!"

Sunny - "Oh... I don't know, Brian. I'm still kinda confused about all this."

Pillman - "That's it?"

Sunny - "Sorry?"

Pillman - "..."

Sunny - "Brian?"

Pillman - "That's it."

Sunny - "Huh?"

Pillman - "THAT'S IT! Oh, my God, Sunny! You're a GENIUS!"

Sunny - "I... well, yes, but..."

Pillman - "I gotta go, okay? I've got a LOT of work to do... but thank you. Thank you SO much!"

Sunny - "Uh... you're welcome?"

Pillman trembled with nervous glee, grabbed Sunny tightly, kissed her on the mouth, cackled maniacally and walked away, leaving behind a bewildered blonde bombshell...

Sunny - "Uh... Brian Pillman, ladies and gentlemen. From backstage here at Olympiahalle, I'm Sunny... the 'genius', heehee. Back to you guys at ringside."

OVERALL RATING: 74%

J.R. - "Thanks, Sunny. What do you gentlemen make of that?"

The King - "That man is a complete basket case."

Vince - "Speaking of those with... ahem, 'colorful' psychological profiles, Mankind will be in action tonight as he teams up with The Executioner."

J.R. - "Their opponents are the team of Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon, an incredible young team looking to work their way back up the ladder of contention."

Vince - "That's our main event, but when we come back... it's time to get FUNKY! Flash Funk in action, next!"

The King - "You? Get funky? This I gotta see!"

J.R. - "We'll be right back."

Fink - "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Venice, Italy, weighing 247 pounds... Salvatore SINCERE!"

Translator - "Der folgende wettbewerb wird für einen fall festgelegt. Zuerst einführen, vom Venice, Italy, das bei 247 wiegt... Salvatore SINCERE!"

Crowd - "Booo!"

PA - "OOOOOOH! YOU ARE SO-O-O FUNKAY! FLAAAASH!"

Fink - "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by The Funkettes, from FUNKYTOWN, U.S.A., weighing 222 pounds... FLAAAAAAAASH FUNK!"

Translator - "Und sein konkurrent, vorbei begleitet zum ring Funkettes, vom Funkytown, das bei 222 wiegt... FLASH FUNK!"

Crowd - "YAAAH!"

Vince - "The crowd here in Germany, VERY appreciative of Flash Funk... or maybe it's the Funkettes."

The King - "I know I appreciate 'em!"

Vince - "And here we go! One-on-one competition, right here on Monday Night RAW!"

SINGLES MATCH: Salvatore Sincere vs. Flash Funk (with Tracey and Nadine, The Funkettes)

Funk and Sincere circled the ring, sizing each other up before the eventual collar and elbow tie-up. Flash forged ahead with all his might but the burly Italian proved to be too strong and backed him into the turnbuckle. The referee moved in to pry the two apart, ordering both to break cleanly. Flash raised his hands, relenting to his wishes. Sal released his grip too and backed off... but not before firing a shot over the official's head, stinging Funk's face with a demoralizing slap!

The irate Flash charged out of the corner swinging, blasting Sal with a flurry of wild rights. He dropped Sincere with a clothesline, then rushed to the top rope. Sal quickly returned to his feet... and caught Funk as he leapt off the top, taking him down to the mat with an armdrag! Both men were quick to get up again, but another armdrag put Flash right back down. With the high-flyer grounded, Sincere cinched in a deep armbar and cranked away at the elbow as Flash struggled to escape.

After tumbling on the mat to alleviate the pressure of the hold, Flash made it to his feet. Sincerely quickly reached up for a handful of hair and yanked Funk back down, causing him to slam his head hard into the canvas. He made a quick cover for a two-count before returning to the hold and continuing to isolate Flash's arm. Again, Funk rolled through and kipped up to his feet, moving in close to Sincere as he backed towards the ropes. Funk made a quick charge, escaping the hold and whipping Sincere off to the far side of the ring. As he came bouncing back, Flash rearranged his dental work with a picture-perfect standing dropkick!

Flash paused in the corner to do a brief danc, then waited for Sincere to rise up off the mat. Once he did, Flash floored him again with a brilliant spinning superkick, knocking him right back down! With Sal on dream street, Flash quickly moved him into position and signaled for his finisher. He climbed up top and pounced off, launching into the Diss That Don't Miss. It didn't miss... but Sincere was able to lift his knees at the last second, causing Flash to crash sternum-first onto them!

As Funk desperately tried to catch his breath, Sincere grabbed him and rolled him into a pinning combination. With a tight grip of Funk's attire, Sincere hung on until the three-count was levied. Flash managed to kick free a split-second too late, then watched in humiliation as Sincere ducked out of the ring and made his way out, blowing kisses to the unappreciative crowd as he exited.

OVERALL RATING: 55%, CROWD REACTION: 57%, MATCH QUALITY: 67%

Fink - "Here is your winner... SALVATORE SINCERE!"

Translator - "Ist hier ihr sieger... SALVATORE SINCERE!"

J.R. - "An upset victory for Mr. Sincere here on Monday Night RAW, and a tough loss for Flash and The Funkettes."

The King - "Upset? You really mean that, J.R.?"

J.R. - "I do, King. Sincerely."

Vince - "Don't go anywhere! Monday Night RAW will be right back with a word from WWF President Gorilla Monsoon!"

ANGLE: A BLESSING AND A CURSE

RAW returned from commercial with Vince McMahon standing in the ring...

Vince - "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the President of the World Wrestling Federation... Mr. GORILLA MONSOON!"

Crowd - "Yah!"

The WrestleMania theme music hit and out walked Monsoon, cheerfully waving to the crowd as he made his way down to and finally inside the ring...

Vince - "Gorilla, thank you for joining us here tonight."

Gorilla Monsoon - "It's my pleasure, Vince. I've got to say, just real quick, it has been an absolure honor to come here to Germany..."

Crowd - "YAAAAAAH!"

Monsoon - "And I want to thank all of the great WWF fans here for making this tour such an incredible success!"

Vince - "Indeed, thank each and every one of you for coming out and supporting the World Wrestling Federation. Speaking of success, I've got to ask you, Mr. President... WrestleMania XIII is just around the corner, twenty short days away."

Monsoon - "You're absolutely. WrestleMania, the biggest night in the WWF, is in less than three weeks and I'm incredibly excited about what we have in store for those of you joining us either in Chicago or from your homes by pay-per-view."

Crowd - "Yaaaah!"

Vince - "I'm sure it will deliver on every promise... but I'm also sure that's not what you've come here tonight to say, is it?"

Monsoon - "You're right, Vince. It isn't. I came here tonight to publicly address something that I've been asked about NON-STOP for a full week now... and that's 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin."

Crowd - "Boooo!"

Monsoon - "Last week, Mr. Austin chose to..."

PA - "KRAASH!"

J.R. - "Uh oh."

Crowd - "BOOOOO!"

The arena virtually pulsated as the driving beats of Steve Austin's theme music played, ushering the Texas rattlesnake to the ring...

J.R. - "Looks like business is about to pick up."

Vince - "Uh, Mr. Austin, I..."

Steve Austin - "Shut up!"

Vince - "..."

Stone Cold - "You got somethin' to say to me, you say it to my face or you don't say it. Understand? I don't give a damn if you're the President of the WWF or NOT! Austin 3:16 says I'll whip your ass just as quick."

Vince - "Gorilla, I apologize. If we can just... security?! Security?! Can we...?"

Stone Cold - "I SAID SHUT UP! This ain't got nothin' to do with you. Why don't you take your ass and whatever that piece of trash is sittin' on your head and get the hell out of here?"

Vince - "Security!"

Monsoon - "No, no, no. It's okay, Vince. Really. In fact... I'm glad you showed up tonight, Steve. There's something I wanted to say to you, and you're absolutely right, I SHOULD say it to your face."

Stone Cold - "So? Start talkin'."

Monsoon - "Steve, in my tenure as President of the World Wrestling Federation, I'm not sure I've even seen somebody quite like you. You... you simply REFUSE to abide by ANY authority. You do whatever you want, wherever you want, whenever you want to WHOEVER you want it seems... and thus far, nobody's been able to put you in your place."

Stone Cold - "AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE 'CAUSE..."

Monsoon - "That's NOT the bottom line! Austin, every time I hear you talk, I'm reminded that you're 'being held back' and that you're 'too wild and untamed' and all the other EXCUSES you make!"

Stone Cold - "..."

Monsoon - "If you want a 'bottom line', I'll give it to you, Steve. This past year, you have done things that few other WWF superstars in history have done. Last summer, you won the King Of The Ring. Earlier this year, you won, by hook or by crook, the Royal Rumble. Only one other superstar in WWF history can claim both those accolades in the same year... Bret Hart."

Crowd - "YAAAAH!"

Stone Cold - "..."

Monsoon - "You're in pretty good company there, whether you like him or not. However, there's a difference. The difference is... Bret made the most of those opportunities. Bret didn't make excuses. Bret climbed the ladder of success until he reached the VERY top, the WWF championship!"

Stone Cold - "..."

Monsoon - "You hear me, Steve?! I said he..."

Stone Cold - "I heard you, you fat son of a bitch!"

Vince - "HEY! Just who do you think you're talking to?!"

Monsoon - "Vince, let me..."

Vince - "No, no, no, President Monsoon. LET ME! Steve, it's time for you to face facts. There's a reason you haven't reached that pinnacle yet, and it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone in charge here in the WWF. It's all you, Steve. YOU. Last week was a perfect example. You HAD the WrestleMania shot. You HAD it. Instead, you gave it up. You... you gave up the opportunity to compete for the richest prize in sports entertainment history on the biggest night of the year! You threw it all away... and for what?! An opportunity to become the ECW champion? To win a belt that means absolutely nothing?"

Stone Cold - "..."

Vince - "Maybe, just maybe... Austin 3:16 should stand for 'I just flushed the biggest opportunity of my life DOWN THE TOILET!' That's exactly what you did, Austin! EXACTLY! Raven was right! You're nothing but low-brow, foul-mouthed, trailer park trash... AND YOU LIKE IT THAT WAY! You have absolutely nobody to blame but YOURSELF! Tell him, Gorilla!"

Stone Cold - "..."

Vince - "Tell him!"

Monsoon - "He's right, Steve."

Stone Cold - "..."

Monsoon - "And if I were you... I'd have done the same damn thing."

Vince - "Uh..."

Monsoon - "Steve Austin, whether I or anyone else likes you or not, the 'bottom line' is this. You did the right thing. It's not going to help your standings here as far as the WWF is concerned, but what you decided was a matter of personal pride. Whether anyone in the WWF chooses to acknowledge it or not, we, as an entity, are at war right now. There's a lot of people in a lot of places, not just in ECW... and not even just in the sports entertainment industry, trying to put the WWF down. ECW might be the most open and brazen about it, but they're not alone in their efforts to tear this company. What we in the WWF need right now, more than anything else, is a leader. We need someone willing to stand up and say 'I BELIEVE in the WWF'! Tonight, I've come here to say it... and since you're here, I'd like you to ask you join me. Whether I agree with your tactics or not is irrelevant now. The 'bottom line' is, while I may not like what I see when I look at you, what I see is a leader... and perhaps, a future WWF champion."

With that rousing endorsement, Monsoon extended his hand to Austin, offering an olive branch to the rebel as well as a sign of solidarity to all those opposing the WWF. Austin, meanwhile, just stared at it...

Stone Cold - "What you see when you look at me? What YOU see when YOU look at ME? Do you really think I give a rat's ass what you see?! Do you really think I give a rat's ass about YOUR war? I said it as plain and as simple as I could, but I guess I gotta say again... AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHIPPED YOUR ASS! It ain't a catchphrase, son. It's the gospel! If you think I can't, or if you think I won't... it's only 'cause I HAVEN'T YET! One by damn one, I am gonna march up and down the ladder here and I am gonna knock EVERYBODY off! You wanna look around for enemies, Mr. President? Don't look in Philadelphia. Don't look in Atlanta. Don't even look in Washington. You look right here into MY damn eyes, boy. I'm the only son of a bitch who's gonna destroy this company. Bit by bit, piece by piece, superstar by superstar... one... at... a... time! ECW? Raven? That goofy bastard only bought himself a ticket to the front of the line when messed with me. That's all. You piss me off, it happens sooner rather than later... but it WILL happen. Future WWF champion? You bet your ass. It ain't gonna be 'cause I worked my way up no ladder though. It's gonna be by PROCESS OF ELIMINATION! By the time I get done, there ain't gonna be NOTHIN' left. Nobody above me, nobody below me... ONLY me. You want a leader? Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, I BELIEVE! Dear God Almighty, I believe! I believe... that if you don't take your hand outta my way, you're about to have a religious experience of your own."

Crowd - "BOOOOO!"

Monsoon retracted his hand and his head, disappointed by Austin's utter disregard for the Federation...

Stone Cold - "Wise move, old man. You just bought yourself a little more time. Besides, I sure as hell didn't wanna do this twice tonight."

Vince - "Twice? What do you mean by th... OOOOF!"

Austin fired a boot into McMahon's gut, then dropped him with the Stone Cold Stunner!

Monsoon - "NO! NO! Dammit, Austin!"

Stone Cold - "Try flushin' THAT down the toilet, you stupid son of a bitch!"

Crowd - "Yaah! Boooooo!"

Monsoon - "Security! Somebody get some security out here NOW!"

Steve lunged for Monsoon as the event security team swarmed the ring, quickly pouncing on him and holding him down as the WWF President escaped. As McMahon convulsed on the canvas, the officers subdued Austin and dragged him back up the aisle to the back...

J.R. - "This Austin is a mad man!"

The King - "Can you believe he talked that way to Gorilla Monsoon?! He's gonna be FIRED!"

J.R. - "That unprovoked assault on Vince McMahon... somebody's GOT to get this guy under control!"

The King - "How?"

J.R. - "Fans, stay tuned through our final commercial break. Our incredible tag team main event is up next!"

OVERALL RATING: 87%

ANGLE: BENEVOLENCE II

Back in his dressing room, James E. Cornette struggled as he clicked away at a typewriter. As he paused to grimace and rub his neck, Davey Boy Smith entered and approached him...

Davey Boy Smith - "All right, Jim?"

Cornette - "Ugh. Yeah, how about you?"

Bulldog - "My arm hurts a little. Beyond that, I'm good. Just wanted to stop by and welcome you back to RAW."

Cornette - "Thanks. It's great to be back."

Bulldog - "What'cha doing?"

Cornette - "Oh. Just hammerin' out the final details with this WrestleMania match."

Bulldog - "Oh, great. In fact, I came to talk to you about that. You see..."

Cornette - "Check THAT out! HAHAHAHA! Oh boy, is Mama Cornette gonna be proud!"

Bulldog - "Huh? Oh... 'Chi-Chicago Street Fight'?!"

Cornette - "Yeah. I was thinking, you know, the challenger doesn't get anything out of a count-out or a disqualification anyway. Why not just eliminate 'em altogether?! Brilliant, huh?!"

Bulldog - "Yeah..."

Cornette - "In fact, let me just finish typin' this up and you can sign it now."

Bulldog - "Huh?! Me?!"

Cornette - "I was gonna have it be a surprise but... oh, what the hell? YES! Congratulations, Davey Boy! YOU are goin' to WRESTLEMANIA!"

Bulldog - "Me? But I... I..."

Cornette - "..."

Bulldog - "What about Owen?"

Cornette - "Owen? Well... uh... he would've been my second choice, sure, but..."

Bulldog - "NO! I mean, you... you gotta pick Owen, Jimmy. He'll be crushed if you don't."

Cornette - "Yeah?"

Bulldog - "Yeah, definitely."

Cornette - "But what about you?"

Bulldog - "Oh, Jimmy. I'm the 'British Bulldog', man. 65,000 people gathered in Wembley Stadium to watch me win the Intercontinental Title! Owen though... he's never had a big title win like that. Never."

Cornette - "No?"

Bulldog - "Why do you think he's always braggin' about those bleedin' Slammies? He's craving that individual glory, man! Being the tag champs, well... that's quite enough for me. Owen, though... he wants more."

Cornette - "But he told me..."

Bulldog - "Hmmm?"

Cornette - "Er, nothing. So let me get this straight. You want me to give OWEN the match with Vader?"

Bulldog - "Hey, not just a 'match', Jimmy. A Chicago Street Fight!"

Cornette - "Right. Well, I kinda already decided..."

Bulldog - "Oh, I know. I know, Jim, and believe me, I'm flattered. I'd love to go in there and just rip Vader apart like he's nothing, you know? I'd like it... but Owen? He NEEDS it, Jim. Needs."

Cornette - "He does?"

Bulldog - "Trust me. He wins that match and he's FINALLY out of the shadow of his brother. That's what he wants... and as his partner, and brother, that's what I want. Understand?"

Cornette - "I guess so."

Bulldog - "Good. So remember, whatever you do, DON'T put MY name on that contract, all right?"

Cornette - "Yeah."

Bulldog - "Oh... and don't tell Owen this, you know? He's... he's fragile. Let him think HE'S the first choice."

Cornette - "Yeah, well actually he..."

Bulldog - "It'll be our little secret, okay?"

Cornette - "Yeah."

Bulldog - "Yeah?"

Cornette - "Yeah."

Bulldog - "Good... whew!"

Cornette - "What?"

Bulldog - "Nothing. I'm gonna go get ice for my arm. You want some?"

Cornette - "No thanks."

Bulldog - "Right. Later on, Jim."

With that, a relieved Davey Boy Smith left Cornette alone to finish. Sitting over the typewriter, Cornette let out a frustrated sigh...

Cornette - "Now what do I do?"

OVERALL RATING: 73%

J.R. - "Welcome back, folks. We're a man down after that unfortunate incident moments ago, but The King and I are still here and... well, the show must go on."

The King - "Before we get to our main event... J.R., what a show we're going to have next week!"

J.R. - "Indeed, King. As we learned earlier in the broadcast, James E. Cornette is going to name the number-one contender for the WWF Title at WrestleMania XIII."

The King - "Plus, the man who had that spot locked up and gave it up to go for... ugh, the ECW belt, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin is going to be in action! As we just learned, ANYTHING can happen when this nut job is involved!"

J.R. - "If that wasn't enough insanity for you, former WWF champion Sycho Sid competes in singles competition!"

The King - "All this and a whole lot more, next week as we come to you from Worcester, Mass!"

J.R. - "...achusetts."

The King - "Gesundheit."

Fink - "The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL and is the MAIN EVENT of the evening!"

Translator - "Der folgende wettbewerb wird für EINENFALL festgelegt und ist der HAUPTFALL des abends!"

Fink - "Introducing first, at a combined weight of 485 pounds, DOUG FURNAS AND PHILLIP LAFON!"

Translator - "Zuerst einführen, an einem kombinierten gewicht von 485, DOUG FURNAS AND PHILLIP LAFON!"

Crowd - "YAAH!"

Fink - "And their opponents, accompanied to the ring by Paul Bearer, at a combined weight of 572 pounds, THE EXECUTIONER and MAAAANKIIIND!"

Translator - "Und ihre konkurrenten, vorbei begleitet zum ring PAUL BEARER, an einem kombinierten gewicht von 572, THE EXECUTIONER and MANKIND!"

Crowd - "Booo!"

J.R. - "And here we go! Main event time here on Monday Night RAW!"

MATCH: Mankind & The Executioner (with Paul Bearer) vs. Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon

Furnas began the match for his team, as did the psychotic Mankind who continued to struggle with the pervasive ideation of Cactus Jack in his mind. Unable to fully focus, Mankind's match opening charge was easily sidestepped by the burly Oklahoman, sending him careening into the turnbuckle. Doug wasted absolutely no time in jumping on the opportunity, lighting Mankind up with a series of knife-edge chops to the chest. Despite the stinging pain, Mankind forged ahead and rushed Furnas again, only to be scooped up and planted with a vicious Samoan drop!

Mankind muscled out of a pin but Furnas continued to apply the pressure as he yanked him up off the mat by the hair and tossed him back into the turnbuckle. As he fired kick after kick to the gut, Furnas reached over to tag in LaFon. Now legal, Phil stepped through the ropes and joined his partner in stomping Mankind down, then pressed his back against the ropes and flung him across the ring. Furnas ducked his head and launched Mankind up with a back body drop. As the crazed freak sailed through the air, LaFon reached up and grabbed him by the tights, hurling him to the canvas even harder!

The referee was preoccupied with moving the illegal Furnas out of the ring and briefly missed LaFon's cover, giving Mankind some needed extra time to kick out of the pinfall. Still firmly in control, LaFon hammered Mankind with some punishing shots before snapping him over with a quick floatover suplex, picking up yet another near fall. Furnas called for the tag back in and decided to set up the team's assisted back body drop combo once more. Luckily for Mankind, when Furnas ducked his head he was able to blast him with a big front kick! Doug recoiled back... only to get splattered face first on the mat by a double arm DDT! LaFon was right there to break up a cover, but the deranged Mankind had bought himself the opportunity he had needed since the opening bell.

Mankind stood on wobbly legs and made a beeline towards his partner... only to stop mid-ring and turn in the other direction. He flailed around in agitation, clawing at his mask with his left hand while using his right hand to grab his wrist and pull his hand away. Eventually, he ended up in a neutral corner where he repeatedly and violently drove his head into the turnbuckle pad, resorting to self-abuse to quiet the voices inside. After a few sharp headbutts, he paused and shook his head, snapping back into coherence. He quickly scaled the ropes and dropped an elbow... but his internal strife had given Furnas enough time to come to and roll out of the way!

Both men began crawling for their respective corners with Furnas finishing first and tagging in LaFon. A double axehandle blow to the back halted Mankind's progress and allowed Phil to drag him back to his team's half of the ring. After a few hard stomps to the chest, LaFon pulled Mankind up and tagged in Furnas. As Furnas climbed through the ropes, Mankind was peppered with punches by LaFon, then sent spinning around by a big shove. He stopped, face-to-face with Doug who jumped up for a big huracanrana. Mankind dropped to a seated position, driving Doug down with a big surprise powerbomb!

Too out of it to hook a leg, Mankind again crawled to The Executioner, this time successfully tagging out. The masked headsman hurried into the ring but neglected to cover the downed Furnas for the pin. Instead, he pulled him up and pinned his arms behind his back, holding him in a vulnerable position as he shouted instruction to Mankind. With his sadistic tendencies overpowering his fatigue, Mankind pulled himself to his feet, crooked his hand in position and charged to apply the mandible claw! Just as he was set to drive his fingers down Furnas' throat... Executioner released his captive prey, ducked down and caught his charging partner with a spinebuster!

The stunned crowd were joined by Furnas and LaFon as they watched Executioner stand over Mankind, then calmly pull his glove off, revealing a heavily taped hand, particularly in regards to the thumb. Executioner raised his taped hand up to his face and tore off his mask, revealing the face of the one and only Terry Gordy!

Furnas and LaFon, having recognized Gordy from their extensive tours of Japan, immediately rushed in and charged him. LaFon met the big man first... only to run smack into the taped thumb as it stuck him hard in the throat! The crushing impact of the Asiatic Spike on his larynx caused the French-Canadian to drop in a coughing heap. Furnas suffered the same fate as he moved in, taking Gordy's bandaged thumb in the gullet and stopping dead in his tracks. After holding him by the throat briefly, he released Furnas, dumping his body on top of the fallen Mankind who lay unable to defend himself as the referee counted the controversial pin.

With the match over, Gordy pulled Furnas up by the hair and tossed him over the top rope, then stared down sinisterly at Mankind. He extended his thumb and took aim, looking for the windpipe. As he shot his hand forward... Mankind reached up and grabbed his wrist! with his free hand, Mankind plunged his fingers into Gordy's mouth, applying the mandible claw!

Gordy stumbled backwards as Mankind pulled himself up, then backed his former partner into the corner. As Gordy's head was forced back, Mankind's fingers dug deeper and deeper into the nerves running beneath his tongue. Seeing his only remaining clients fighting one another, Paul Bearer climbed onto the apron and ordered Mankind to stop. Mankind acknowledged him with a look, but cocked his head sharply and flashed him a toothless grin. He extended his thumb and forefinger at Bearer and squealed "BANG BANG" as the pallid mortician watched on in horror.

Seconds later... Mankind was blindsided from behind by a meaty running clothesline! The impact broke the mandible claw and sent him staggering out of the corner, stumbling straight into a brutal powerslam! As his every organ was jarred by the impact, Mankind only opened his eyes and peered through his mask's eyeholes... staring up at the menacing visage of "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. Williams began blasting him with vicious stomps to the face as Gordy rolled out of the ring. Howard Finkel stood to announce the final decision... only to be attacked by the Asiatic Spike himself!

OVERALL RATING: 71%, CROWD REACTION: 71%, MATCH QUALITY: 87%

The Executioner debuted his new "old school heel" gimmick, it got a positive response.

Steve Williams debuted his new "old school heel" gimmick, it got a positive response.

Phil LaFon gained overness from this match.

Doug Furnas gained overness from this match.

Mankind's turn was completed, and he is now a face.

Mankind gained overness from this turn.

Fink - "Here are your winn... EYAAAH!"

J.R. - "What the hell is going on?! The Executioner is TERRY GORDY?! Steve Williams?! What IS this?!"

The King - "I don't know, J.R., but I don't like it one bit!"

J.R. - "Oh, this is DEPRAVED! Why are these men doing this? To MANKIND, of all people?!"

INTERVIEW: Death Row with Paul Bearer

As Williams continued to stomp away at Mankind, Paul Bearer joined him in the ring, ripped off his jacket and threw it to the canvas. Gordy rejoined them moments later, armed with the timekeeper's chair...

Paul Bearer - "YES! YES! OH-H-H-H-H YESSSS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

J.R. - "My God!"

As Bearer turned back around, vividly emblazoned on the shirt draped across his chest... was the ECW logo...

Bearer - "Surprise, surprise, surprise! Mr. Heyman, consider this the FINAL payment, my good man. It's been a pleasure doing business with you."

J.R. - "Business? What is this?"

Bearer - "By now, you're probably all wondering exactly why 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams is here. Well... get used to seeing him, because he and 'Executioner' Terry Gordy aren't going ANYWHERE! Thanks to the good people at Extreme Championship Wrestling, this 6'1", 265 pound DEATH MACHINE... is all mi-i-i-i-ine! OH-H-H-H-H YES!"

Crowd - "BOOOOOOOO!"

Bearer - "And all it took was simply helping the ECW wrestlers break into In Your House. You would be amazed and how many security guards can be drawn away from their post by dragging a casket through an arena! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

J.R. - "Paul Bearer set that up?"

The King - "I TOLD YOU! I told you there had to be somebody on the inside!"

Bearer - "And all that was left was to destroy the man responsible for ruining the ECW's show last week... my Mankind. Mankind, you pathetic, sickening, retarded FREAK! LOOK AT YOU!"

As he shouted over the barely conscious Mankind, desperately begging for his "Uncle Paul" to help him, Bearer smirked... and fired a nasty gob of spit into his masked face! It would be the last image Mankind would see before being knocked unconscious by a skullcrushing blow to the head with the chair...

J.R. - "NO! NO! NOOO!"

Bearer - "Don't you forget, you quivering WORM! I know the TRUTH! I know what's under that mask. I've seen the face that you can't stand to see, Mankind! I'm finished with you, just like I was finished with The Undertaker! You two and your sad little 'psychological warfare'... take a look at what REAL DESTRUCTION LOOKS LIKE! No masks. No light shows. No creepy music. Dr. Death and The Executioner are just simply two BAD sons-of-bitches who'll KICK YOUR ASS!"

Crowd - "BOOOOOOOO!"

Bearer - "And who are YOU? Huh? Don't try me! I'm not afraid to turn these two loose on EVERYONE! 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams, 'The Executioner' Terry Gordy, and myself, Paul Bearer... we're putting EVERYONE in the World Wrestling Federation on notice! Pray! Pray for that phone call from the governor, because right now... you're ALL sitting on DEATH... ROW! OH-H-H-H-H-H YESSSSS!"

OVERALL RATING: 76%

Steve Williams gained overness from this segment.

J.R. - "Death Row?! Good Lord! Paul Bearer just put the entire WWF on notice!"

The King - "Dammit! Those ECW... aaaargh! They're gonna pay for this!"

J.R. - "Where... where are you going?!"

The King - "..."

J.R. - "Fans, we're all out of time! Join us next Monday night for another action-packed hour of Monday Night RAW! For... uh, Jim Ross, I guess... I'm good ol' J.R. saying good night from Berlin!"

OVERALL RATING: 73%

NIELSEN RATING: 4.66 (NITRO 6.82)

[ClaRK! Kent]

Okay, so lemme just first say that I'm really enjoying this one thus far. Michaels leaving is definitely an interesting conundrum, and leaves you with a lot of interesting places to take this without HBK on the roster. It'll be especially interesting to see what you get up to as far as Bret is concerned, seeing as he's basically lost the person who took him through '97 here, and obviously Montreal won't be happening either, at least not in the same way. Perhaps, without Michaels, he'd even stay on and not sign with WCW, who knows? Yikes, a lot to think about, certainly. You've also got a good thing going with the ECW invasion, which is probably my favourite part of this diary thus far as you're treating the ECW crowd like a serious threat to the WWF, a ballsy move for sure and it keeps this angle from looking tame or from getting overshadowed by anything and everything else that's going on.

Okay, onto reviewing your Raw is War for this week, writing as I read...

- Firstly I've gotta say that I really dig the style you're using for your write-ups. It's very clear and easy to read, and the interaction between the announcers is very well realised. Usually I find having announcers in the write-ups doesn't serve much of a purpose, is often fairly arbitrary, and can even take away from the writing itself. But you've dealt with it very well, so kudos for that one.

- Gotta love evil bastard Cornette. You write characters pretty well, Cornette is especially well-realised here and he's going to dick Vader around in the run-up to WrestleMania it seems. I'll be interested to see what kind of match he's got going on, and who he's going to have challenge the big man. I'd imagine one of Camp Cornette, but you never know with him, do you?

- HHH retains, Bob Holly looks fairly good with all of the work on the knee, and the post-match interview lets everybody know just what HHH thinks of ECW and Shane-O in particular. Good times. It's interesting that you're keeping HHH in the picture, as you'd think the WWF would've been quite happy to bury him again after what just went down with Michaels. Good for him that he's surviving, mind.

- Owen doesn't want the title shot?! Interesting development, shows the duo are a real tag team and good friends at least, if maybe a little unrealistic. I mean, come on, this is the WWF title! Sure, he's beaten Bret like he said, but still... meh. Anyway, it'll be good to see what Davey has to say on the subject.

- Bret faces... Guido? Hmm, you'd have thought ECW would've sent one of the marquee players to face the Hitman, but whatever. Guido looked surprisingly good in this one, I figured it'd be a squash here, and Bret wins by DQ. Some good touches between Guido and Rich, I liked the image of Guido gesticulating at Bret and then playing innocent when Bret calls him on it, and Terry Funk appears to be on the WWF's side in this one. Fair enough for the time being, but I can see Funk's allegiance being called into question in the future.

- What the fuck is Pillman talking about? I have no idea, which is great, and that was a pretty good interview which got Pillman down well I thought. Sunny being all giggles at the thought of being a genius is nice, and I'm looking forward to seeing what Pillman's talking about.

- Sincere beats Funk, Funk isn't happy about it. Move along, nothing to see here.

- ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC segment there, segment of the night thus far. Austin is really well-written in this diary, fantastic portrayal of the sociopathic fuck on the rise here. It'll be interesting to see how you handle his development, 'cause IIRC he was still pretty much a heel at this point, and he went on to become the biggest babyface of the 90s. He's still clearly a heel right now, Stunning a helpless announcer and talking trash to Gorilla, and the Stunner on McMahon was a nice foreshadowing of a possible Austin/McMahon thing if you do decide to take the real-life route with Stone Cold.

- Haha... now that was good. I was a little unsure about Owen's actions earlier, but having Davey doing the same is gold. Pretty funny segment in light of the first one, and it certainly leaves Cornette in an interesting situation. Owen and Davey looking out for each other's feelings whilst still, sort of, thinking they're the superior one in the team is a nice touch, and who knows what Cornette is gonna do now? Triple threat match? Handicap? Definitely a lot of options here.

- Executioner turns on Mankind and kills everybody. Yikes. And there's Dr. Death! Geez, Williams and Gordy is a tag team and a half, they could pretty much go on a rampage through most of the roster at this point. Mankind's development into a crazy, crazy bastard is nice, and I really like the whole split personality thing you've got going on here with him. It's a nice way to introduce the Cactus Jack character to the WWF audience, and of course the ECW angle coming up should give you a lot of scope to play with Jack and Mankind. Bearer turning on Mankind struck me as a little odd, seeing as last week he seemed so anguished at the sight of the Mankind/Cactus struggle going on in his head, but I'll trust you on this one for now.

- Good promo from Bearer to close, and he's the one who's been helping ECW out. My money was on Gordy or Funk or somebody, but Bearer turning on the WWF in return for a new 'toy' in Williams makes a lot of sense.

Overall a damn good show, a couple of unusual leaps of logic but nothing too out-of-the-ordinary for the period, and I have faith everything will be ironed out in time. Really enjoying this one, C-MIL, it's a damn good read and I'm looking forward to the next installment.

[Adam]

Im absolutely loving this diary man, top notch, with some great twists and turns along the way! Although, i hope its neither Owen nor Bulldog facing Vader at Wrestlemania, though i have a feeling it will actually be both!

[Hewey]

Great Raw, Easily the best one thus far. But the only thing I don't like is that Wrestlemania is like two shows away, And we only got one match set for it. I am seriously hoping the main event becomes a three way with Owen/Bulldog/Vader. Vader seems like he's turning into a face, And he could come out strong with a win over the champs. I loved the stuff with Owen/Bulldog here. It's alot better than what the WWF did with them when they teased the split. The Austin segment was great. I was surprised to see Vince coming off as a bit heelish, But Austin beating his ass was classic. Isee Death Row facing Mankind and Undertaker at Wrestlemania, With hopefully, Taker and Mankind winning. I didn't care for Guido being Bret's opponent, As he was nobody at the time, And I think Hart should have gone over him cleanly. Helmsley continues to be a good champ. Maybe he can defend the title at Wrestlemania against Mero, Goldust or Ahmed Johnson, Who haven't been doing anything? Keep up the good work.

[Thrilla]

Williams and Gordy... ITS THE MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE VIOLENCE CONNECTION~! My favourite tag team of all time right there, it don't get no better than that.

Another great show, I loved the interaction between the Camp Cornette guys but who is going to go on and face Vader now? Needs to be finalised pretty soon so you can actually get some build in for the match I'd imagine.

The Austin character continues to flourish and it'll be interesting to see where you go with from here.

Keep you up the good work.

[C-MIL]

ECW Hardcore TV

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

ECW Arena

Host: Joey Styles

Joey Styles - "Good evening, fans. I'm Joey Styles, the voice of Extreme Championship Wrestling, joining you on this dark day, perhaps the darkest in ECW history. Last week, we closed out the show with The Triple Threat challenging The Eliminators for the ECW WORLD Tag Team Titles. We're going to show you that match, along with the horrific aftermath that followed, later on in the show. Plus, you'll witness the one-man wrecking crew, the 'Human Suplex Machine' Taz in action. I'm going to try to remain upbeat... oh, hell. Here's The Sandman."

INTERVIEW: The Sandman

Sandman sat atop a stack of boxes, calmly smoking a cigarette as he wrung a Singapore cane in his hands...

The Sandman - "Heh heh heh... after five damn years, it's about damn time. It's about time somebody had the balls to stand up to me. Dr. Death, I've always thought you were a tough guy... a real tough guy. Well, tough guys come and go... especially here in ECW. Still, out of all the tough guys that have come and gone, NOBODY has been willing to step into me like you have. And that, Steve Williams... is a problem. It's a BIG problem. You see, of all the tough guys in ECW, there's only room for one TOUGHEST... ME. After watching you snap my cane in two, I've started to believe that you might be every bit as tough as I am. Like I said, there's only room for one... ME, which means, Doc, you're just gonna have to go. For one of us, this is our last week in Extreme Championship Wrestling. As the next ECW WORLD champion, I can tell you this... this time? IT AIN'T ME!"

OVERALL RATING: 74%

Styles - "That incredible match, The Sandman versus Steve Williams, will happen next week, right here on ECW Hardcore TV... and yes, the loser WILL leave Extreme Championship Wrestling. The hardcore icon, The Sandman, has been a staple of ECW since before we were 'extreme'. Is this the end of an era? Speaking objectively... dear God, I hope not. The alcohol-filled blood that flows in, and OUT, of The Sandman's veins is the very same as the lifeblood of this company. Frankly, I don't know what ECW would be like without The Sandman. However, I also know that The Sandman has never faced a foe like Dr. Death, a man willing to stare down the end of a Singapore cane and not bat an eye. For one of these men, their ECW career ends... next week on Hardcore TV."

CLIPS: Mikey Whipwreck vs. "The Human Suplex Machine" Taz (with Bill Alfonso)

• Mikey trembled nervously as he stared down the meancing Taz...
• Whipwreck offered a handshake, which Taz accepted...
• Only to blast Mikey with a mid-handshake headbutt to the nose!
• Taz began absolutely mauling Mikey on the mat, hammering him with clubbing blows...
• Taz went for the Tazmission... but Whipwreck slipped free before he could lock it in!
• Mikey - "Mom, did you see THAT?!"
• As Mikey celebrated his escape... Taz snatched him for a devastating release German Tazplex!
• Styles - "Mrs. Whipwreck, turn off your TV NOW!"
• Moments later, Mikey gave up to the Tazmission...
• Taz refused to release at the bell and choked Whipwreck into unconsciousness...
• Styles - "Taz is sending a message to Sabu. April 13th, Barely Legal, the 'path of rage' comes to an end... or is it just the beginning?"

OVERALL RATING: 70%, CROWD REACTION: 57%, MATCH QUALITY: 84%

Styles - "We are less than six weeks away from the biggest night in ECW history, April 13th... Barely Legal. One-half of an incredible double main event, nearly a full year in the making... Taz, Sabu, for the first time ever, two of ECW's brightest star go head-to-head. However, before we get to that point, there's NEXT Saturday night. ECW returns to the ECW Arena in South Philadelphia for Hostile City Showdown '97! For complete details, call the hotline, 1-900-RUN... 4ECW. As reported earlier this week, Taz will be in action next Saturday, taking on Sabu's tag team partner, the one and only... Rob... Van... DAM!"

ANGLE: HOSTILE CITY SHOWDOWN PREVIEW VIDEO

The Hostile City Showdown theme song, Bad Religion's "Tested", played as clips of Taz' vast arsenal of suplexes played while Rob Van Dam's aerial artistry was also highlighted. The video ended with the brutal ladder German Tazplex RVD suffered at CyberSlam in February.

OVERALL RATING: 69%

Styles - "Welcome back to ECW Hardcore TV. Earlier in tonight's broadcast, I promised to you show the conclusion of last week's challenge between ECW WORLD Tag Team champions The Eliminators and The Triple Threat. We have that footage for you now and we're going to close out the show with it. Before we do, I just want to say that... I've been a proud employee of this company for several years now. I've seen some of the bloodiest battles, some of the most outrageous and offensive antics... hell, I've even seen an actual CRUCIFIXION occur! However, nothing I've seen has been quite as bonechilling as the footage you're about to watch. As the 'voice of Extreme Championship Wrestling', I'd simply like to apologize for my lack of commentary... but for the first time in ECW history, I was left speechless. Here now, quite possibly the worst moment in ECW history..."

CLIPS: The Eliminators (Perry Saturn & John Kronus) vs. The Triple Threat ("No Gimmicks Needed" Chris Candido & "The Franchise" Shane Douglas, with "The Head Cheerleader" Francine)

• Crowd - "ECW! ECW! ECW! ECW!"
• Styles - "ALL HELL is breaking loose here in the ECW Arena as this impromptu match is underway! The ECW WORLD Tag Team Titles are ON THE LINE!"
• Candido and Douglas charged to ringside, not even dressed to wrestle...
• The Eliminators floored them with stereo suicide dives!
• Francine tried to help her team out, but The Eliminators chased her away...
• Candido dropped Saturn with a vicious blow to the knee...
• Referee John Molineaux restored order and forced the wrestlers back to the ring and apron accordingly...
• Candido continued working on the knee but Kronus broke up every pin and submission attempt...
• Saturn dropped out of a powerbomb, slipped behind Candido... and Kronus pounced into the ring and connected with a superkick!
• Saturn was unable to capitalize and crawled towards Kronus...
• Candido crawled towards Douglas... and beat Saturn to the tag!
• The Franchise cut Saturn off with an elbowdrop, then continued to work on the knee...
• Saturn dodged a big right hand and countered with a T-bone suplex!
• He made it to John Kronus for the hot tag!
• Kronus, like a house of fire, blasted Douglas with a handspring elbow...
• He scaled the ropes in preparation for the 450 splash...
• Candido rushed in for the save, punching Kronus in the gut...
• He climbed up, looking for a top rope huracanrana...
• But Kronus reversed and jumped out of the ring with a powerbomb all the way from the top rope to the floor!
• Crowd - "HOLY S...T! HOLY S...T! HOLY S...T!"
• Styles - "Both men are down... and not getting up after that. Saturn can barely stand. Douglas is... OH MY GOD!"
• Suddenly...
• The World Wrestling Federation's Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Mr. Hughes and Jerry "The King" Lawler hit the ring!
• Helmsley picked Douglas up and spiked him with a Pedigree!
• Hughes and Lawler held security at bay as Helmsley taunted Douglas, holding the WWF I-C Title in his face...
• Saturn attacked Helmsley behind and nailed him with punches!
• Perry hoisted Hunter up for a death valley driver... but Lawler nailed him in the bad leg!
• Saturn was driven down with a Pedigree by Helmsley, then tossed from the ring by Hughes...
• As security tried to drag the invaders away, a groggy Kronus pulled himself out of the ringside debris...
• He climbed up top and launched into a 450 splash on Douglas for the pin...
• After the fall, Lawler blasted Kronus in the head with a flagpole!
• Hughes fought off the rent-a-cops as Helmsley absconded ring announcer Bob Artese's microphone...
• Lawler unfurled a flag bearing the WWF logo... and draped it over the unconscious bodies of Douglas and The Eliminators...
• Styles - "..."

OVERALL RATING: 58%, CROWD REACTION: 52%, MATCH QUALITY: 64%

IMPROMPTU INTERVIEW: WWF

Crowd - "F...K YOU, LAWLER! F...K YOU, LAWLER! F...K YOU, LAWLER!"

Jerry Lawler - "And F...K YOU too! Now you s...theads know exactly how the WWF fans feel! What the hell did you morons expect?! Did you really think ECW was going to get away with this bulls...t?! You're all IDIOTS!"

Crowd - "F...K YOU, LAWLER! F...K YOU, LAWLER! F...K YOU, LAWLER!"

The King - "Paul Heyman, you fat piece of s...t! Don't get on your phone and call your ... lawyer Daddy! You brought this on yourself! And just like you said, this is ONLY the beginning! As disgusting as it is to think of, we're not the last WWF SUPERSTARS that are gonna come! WE'VE got the inside track now! Extreme CRAPPY Wrestling is dead! R.I.P.! The next time you morons come to this s...thole, it'll be to drive your mother/landlord to BINGO!"

Crowd - "BOOOOOOOOOO!"

The King - "Don't you f...kers DARE boo me! You people make me SICK! You're all pathetic! Grow up! Get jobs! Get lives! Quit wasting your time and money on THIS s...t!"

Crowd - "ECW! ECW! ECW!"

Hunter Hearst Helmsley - "Hey! HEY! Shut the f...k up!"

The King - "Oh, no! Hunter... you're not... gonna... heh heh, FRANCHISE 'em, are you?"

Helmsley - "HAHAHAHAHA!"

The King - "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Helmsley - "Hey, Dean Douglas! Dean-o, can you hear me? Dean-o? That sound? That sound you just heard? That sound wasn't your face BREAKING as I put it through this G...damn mat. No, Deanie... that sound... was a CLICK! You think our 'stroke' only works in Connecticut? THINK AGAIN!"

Crowd - "YOU'RE SHAWN'S BITCH! YOU'RE SHAWN'S BITCH! YOU'RE SHAWN'S BITCH!"

The King - "Say goodbye, ECW fans! Show's over... for the last time! Don't bother asking for a refund. That ... Heyman probably already skipped town with the gate. The good news is this... Monday Night RAW, the USA Network, each and every Monday night! Watch a REAL sports entertainment franchise!"

Crowd - "BOOOOOOOOOO!"

The King - "Because ECW... IS... DEEEEEEEEAD!"

OVERALL RATING: 82%

Copyright 1997, Extreme Championship Wrestling...

OVERALL RATING: 72%

NIELSEN RATING: 0.04

Pro Wrestling Illustrated Weekly

March 1st, 1997 - March 7th, 1997

ECW STAR ACCUSES WWF OF RACIAL DISCRIMINATION!

In an interview with the Pro Wrestling Torch, ECW's New Jack claimed he was fired from the World Wrestling Federation for the color of his skin, kickstarting a wave of controversy which culminated with legal threats. Among his accusations, New Jack claimed to be sent home from the February 24th RAW simply because he was outspoken about a backstage incident involving Ahmed Johnson. Jack insisted several road agents ignored similar behavior from white employees and discriminated against the African-Americans in attendance. He also accused several WWF wrestlers of abusing drugs backstage, admitting to partaking in them as well.

The WWF issued the following statement in retaliation: "First and foremost, Jerome Young (New Jack) was not under contract with the WWF and was merely appearing as a guest on the February 24th episode of Monday Night RAW. There was never any plan to bring him back afterwards. During his time as our guest, Mr. Young flagrantly broke the WWF's strict drug policy, at which time he was handed his pay and asked to leave the Manhattan Center. Furthermore, the WWF does not discriminate against anyone based on their ethnicity and is an equal opportunity employer. We have a zero-tolerance policy regarding drug abuse that is strictly enforced. WWF superstars are tested regularly and randomly. On behalf of TitanSports, we hereby request Mr. Young cease and detist his defaming claims against our organization. If this request is not met immediately, legal action will be taken."

In his own interview with The Torch, Ahmed Johnson denied any claim New Jack defended him. According to Johnson, after his match, Jack returned to the locker room and began using an illegal substance there. After Jack was asked to leave, road agents reprimanded Johnson for missing a photo shoot for WWF Magazine, at which time Jack lashed out and claimed they were racist. Johnson went on to say he was 100% at fault for the incident and gladly took a thirty-day suspension. Ahmed added that the WWF was in no way a racist organization. He refused to comment when asked if New Jack using alone in backstage drug use.

WEEKLY AWARDS

WRESTLER OF THE WEEK - SALVATORE SINCERE

The WWF's resident dishonest Italian continues his great week by passing several more well-known and highly regarded wrestlers to clinch Wrestler Of The Week. After giving Bret Hart all he could handle in a match taped for Shotgun Saturday Night, Sal made the long trip to Germany and picked up a big win on RAW over Flash Funk. Always a capable technician, Sincere seems to have finally unlocked the secret to victory in the WWF. Sadly, it appears that secret is underhanded tactics. Notwithstanding, congratulations are in order for Sal's biggest upset win of all, this one.

MATCH OF THE WEEK - EDDY GUERRERO vs. ULTIMO DRAGON

Sharing extensive experience in both Mexico and Japan, two of the world's top cruiserweight battled over the WCW United States Title Monday on NITRO. The well-fought, even match ended with a bit of controversy as Guerrero's feet wound up propped on the rope, adding leverage to his ultimately successful pin attempt. After the match, when confronted by Dean Malenko, Guerrero insisted the incident was unintentional. Even a somewhat unsavory ending couldn't tarnish this week's Match Of The Week. We hope to see a rematch as soon as possible.

NEWS & NOTES

WCW UNCENSORED MAIN EVENT REVEALED

Confronted by both the NWO and WCW on NITRO, Shawn Michaels made a bold play that changed the face of the Uncensored main event. Originally scheduled to be an eight-man elimination match between the warring factions, Michaels insisted he only represent himself against both! Shawn invited anyone tired of the war to join his side and fight against everyone, sending explicit invitation to Sting whose reputation had been tarnished by the conflict. Sting did not reply and thus far, no one has stepped up to join Michaels in his "war on the world", but Shawn promises team or no, it will be Team NWO versus Team WCW versus Team Michaels at Uncensored.

FLAIR/MISTERIO MATCH ON THE HORIZON?

In the April issue of PWI Magazine, on sale now, "Nature Boy" Ric Flair sat down for an extensive interview. Flair, who vacated the WCW United States in September of last year to undergo shoulder surgery, says he's ready to return to action and finally vanquish the New World Order. However, the U.S. belt may not be his first priority. When asked the one opponent he'd like to wrestle, Flair named WCW Television Champion Rey Misterio Jr. as his dream match. "I've never seen anyone move that fast," he said of Misterio, "Now that he's left the cruiserweight division, he's beating men twice his size. I think he'd be a great challenge... but not an impossible one." Flair also revealed his first match back would be against Antonio Inoki in Inoki's retirement match and a rematch from 1995's Collision In Korea. That match drew 190,000 fans to Mayday Stadium, shattering the previous pro wrestling attendance record (WrestleMania III) by over double.

ARENA RESULTS

GEORGIA

ATLANTA - WCW Monday NITRO live broadcast from The Omni: Hugh Morrus & Konnan defeated Jeff Jarrett & Steve McMichael... Dallas Page defeated Rick Fuller... Juventud Guerrera defeated Ray Mendoza Jr.... Dean Malenko defeated Mike Enos... United States champion Eddy Guerrero defeated Ultimo Dragon... Scotty Riggs defeated Michael Wallstreet via disqualification... Television champion Rey Misterio Jr. defeated Mr. J.L. in a non-title match... Lex Luger & The Giant and The Steiner Brothers wrestled to a no-contest.

(03-03-97)

NEW YORK

NEW YORK - WWF Shotgun Saturday Night taping from Penn Station: Bob Holly defeated The Brooklyn Brawler... Aldo Montoya defeated The Goon... Barry Windham & Justin Bradshaw defeated Freddie Joe Floyd & Bart Gunn... Bret Hart defeated Salvatore Sincere.

(03-01-97)

GERMANY

[BERLIN - WWF Monday Night RAW taping from Olympiahalle: Intercontinental champion Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeated Bob Holly... Bret Hart defeated Little Guido via disqualification... Salvatore Sincere defeated Flash Funk... Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon defeated Mankind & The Executioner.

(03-03-97)

NEXT WEEK

FULL WCW UNCENSORED PREVIEW

The wildest pay-per-view of the year has our full attention as the final card will be released.

[JStarr]

Closed and moved to the deep Web.