METALMAN

So I bought this smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwich from Marks & Spencers today. It was £2.80. I wouldn't normally spend that much on a sandwich but it was a special treat and it looked absolutely irresistable. But it was quite rubbish.

oh not much. just about to watch my saturday night dvd!

what about you john? opiates I presume? they'll be the death of you.

i meant your john coltrane persona. not you. i am sure you do not do opiates.

i was worried i had hurt your feelings!

and when I returned after film time i tried to cover my back

and charles mingus would probably slap me with his double bass

john coltrane might be more easygoing. i just have a hunch.

you are not such a bad guy!

if elton john asked you to suck him off for 24 hours in exchange for all his money would you do it?

u used to be cool

whatever happened?

Oh man, I know! I mean, they're okay. They're not dreadful. But why does everyone make such a fuss about them?!