TheRyno

Before the tournament started, Authority Nick Mondo came out with the CZW Iron Man belt over his shoulder. He cut a promo talking about how it was good to be back at the Tournament of Death with the Iron Man title again, but it wasn't for him. As everyone knows, B-Boy is in rehab right now and Mondo has had no choice but to strip him of the Iron Man title and declare it vacant. But he'll be in the back watching the entire show through the curtain and the actions that go down tonight in the Tournament of Death will give him an idea of what to do with the vacant Iron Man championship.

Before I go on with the report, the rules for TOD have changed a little bit. Instead of having a special gimmick every match, the opening round matches are just your average hardcore brawls with weapon use and all that good stuff. The special gimmicks won't come into play until the Semi-Final and Final Rounds.

With Corp being the winner of IWA-MS's Deathmatch tournament, people not only expected him to be a favorite but to completely beat the crap out of Adam Flash. He did get a lot of damage in on Flash but it was all for naught as Flash's UVDS crony Gene Snitsky came out and helped Flash beat down Corp. And since this was a deathmatch where anything goes, Snitsky couldn't be ejected. It finally came to an end where Flash brought out a table wrapped in barbed wire and Snitsky powerbombed Corp over the ropes and through the table on the outside, where Flash got the pin. The people booed Flash unmercilessly for taking the cheap victory.

Angel looked pretty scared out there since RF decided to take the night off, possibly to chat up 14 year olds on the net. But when Grimes came out, Angel kinda perked up since he was so glad to face off against a "bear" like Grimes. Of course, Angel had no chance. Grimes spent a lot of the match carving up Angel's forehead with a pizza cutter before finishing it off with a somersault senton from the top rope.

Pretty good match that showcased Horace to the CZW crowd as I believe this is his first time wrestling for them. Mondo picked a good brawler that I can see having a bright future in CZW. Of course, he wasn't going past Sexxxy Eddy, as Eddy was bound and determined to make an impact this year after having to forfeit in last year's tournament due to blood loss. Horace missed a top rope senton and hit a pile of lighttubes which led to Eddy hitting the Stupidsault (moonsault with a trashcan over the head) for the win. Afterwards, both men shook hands.

Great premise to this match as this is a rematch of the final round of last year's TOD. Now they're facing off again to see who will continue on and who will go home. This match definately had a different outcome as last year as Justice Pain ran out and attacked Wifebeater with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire behind Necro's back. Necro ended up getting the pin but Nate Hatred ran out and attacked Pain. When Necro realized he got the tainted win, he helped Hatred in his attack, sending Pain running off scared. Necro, Hatred and Beater all stood in the ring afterwards and Necro held up Beater's hand, despite losing his chance to win his third Tournament of Death.

Flash got the upperhand early on by sending Eddy through the first pane of glass with a Death Valley Driver. Flash got cocky and laid Eddy on the second pane but when Flash ran across the ring with a spear, Eddy moved out of the way, sending Flash crashing through the glass. Flash got revenge by putting Eddy underneath a pane of glass and breaking the glass with a steel chair. But it was Eddy who put Flash through the last pane by laying it in the corner across the second rope and while Flash laid across it, Eddy put Flash through it with the Total Sextacy (springboard reverse SSP) which led to the pinfall victory.

STIFF! Necro and Grimes spent most of the match potatoing each other punches that made Vader vs Cactus Jack seem tame in comparison. Grimes surprisingly had Necro down enough that he sat Necro in a chair and went up top for another somersault senton. But Necro came to his senses and threw the chair he was sitting on straight at Grimes' head, causing him to lose his balance and plummet to his doom through the Lighttube Log Cabin at ringside. The bell was rung soon after and Necro was awarded the victory.

For a match taking place at the Tournament of Death, you'd be surprised to see some actual wrestling in it. This match was wrestled pretty well and not a weapon was used at all. Hero dictated the pace and figured that submissions would be better to make someone quit instead of just bludgeoning someone with a weapon. Hero cravate-snap-mared Messiah into the corner and went for a top rope maneuver but Messiah rolled to the outside, letting Hero crash to the mat. As Messiah was at ringside, he reached in to grab Hero's legs and wrapped them around the ringpost, hooking Hero into a Figure Four leglock! Messiah had that hold on Hero for a good couple minutes but Hero didn't dare quit. Suddenly, Messiah let go so he could grab a chair from under the ring that he used to bash Hero's knee into the ringpost with. Messiah went back to the Figure Four but Hero still didn't quit. Again, Messiah broke the hold and reached under the ring for a few lighttubes, which he broke over Hero's knee! Messiah hooked the Figure Four back on and Hero had no choice but to quit. As Messiah walked to the back with his World title, Hero remained lying in the ring to the point where the ref had to call out members of security to help Hero to the back, who was limping and unable to make it on his own.

The crowd was definately divided as to who they thought should win. People wanted Necro to win as many thought he should've won last year, yet people wanted Eddy to win since he didn't get that chance last year. Eventually, the majority of people sided with Eddy since Necro's stiff shots were too much for the smaller Eddy to take, instantly making him the underdog. But with Eddy taking sick blows to the head and stomach by the hands of Necro, coupled with being thrown like a ragdoll in the barbed wire ropes, he didn't have a chance but to pass out when Necro applied the Asiatic Spike. Afterwards, when Necro was handed the Tournament of Death trophy, Necro picked up Eddy and helped him come to his senses before lifting him up on his shoulders.

Final Thoughts: Of course, you don't come to a deathmatch tournament expecting to see good wrestling, but it wasn't as bad as in year's past. I'm sure a lot of the blood-crazy fans are pissed about changing the opening matches to regular hardcore matches but I don't mind. Otherwise, by the time you get to the final round, it's overkill. Hero and Messiah put on a good wrestling match despite the violence (and the ending) and the final matches were better than your average mindless deathmatches.

CZWrestling.com Press Release For August 22, 2005 - Hero Suffers Injury At TOD4, Fake You! TV Reminder.

-Unfortunately, Chris Hero suffered a serious injury at the hands of The Messiah last night at Tournament of Death 4. The Figure Four around the ring post, coupled with the chair and lighttube shots, caused him to tear his calf. Paramedics took a look at him after the I Quit match and he was promptly taken to the hospital by ambulance, where he underwent further tests. The doctor's word is that Hero will be out of wrestling for about nine months. CZW Management would like to send our condolences to Chris Hero and wish him a speedy recovery.

-Reminder to our WWN audience that tomorrow night's Fake You! TV will be a recap of Tournament of Death 4. But as a preview for next week, we have booked the match between Chris Ca$h and Nate Webb that did not take place last week due to Ca$h's attack on Webb.

-In other news, we have released Ultra Mantis Black from the CZW roster. We wish him well for the future.

A DQ you say? In CZW? That's right. Flash ruined a perfectly fine match by bringing a chair into the mix. While the initial chair shot didn't get him disqualified due to the lax rules in CZw, something snapped inside Flash's brain and he went apeshit on Storm to the point where the ref had to pry the chair out of his hands and call for the bell. Flash questioned the ref's call, as did most of the crowd, but all he did was flip him off and walk to the back. I guess Flash got wrapped up in the moment, considering he's entered in the Tournament of Death on Sunday.

Backstage, we see Angel sitting on a bench in the locker room with his face buried in his hands. His "partner" RF slides next to him and wraps an arm around him, asking what's the matter. Angel's crying because he's just been entered into the TOD! RF brings up a good point saying that Angel's been in deathmatch tournaments before, almost winning one even! But Angel then shoots that down saying that they weren't like TOD. Angel continues to cry on RF's shoulder as we go to commercial.

Can you say "squash", children? I knew you could. I'm not Green Lantern Fan so I didn't keep a stopwatch at my side but if this match reached 5 minutes, I'd be shocked. Snitsky finished it off with a Double Chokeslam. Meh.

Cut to backstage again where Chris Hero arrives at the New Alhambra. Hero is...WALKING! There, I said it. Happy?

This match was billed as a "wrestling clinic" and "friendly competition" by Gargiulo, which was pretty much proven when Carter and Quack shook hands before locking up. Best wrestled match of the night by far but didn't get much heat compared to what happens later on. Of course, as with all decent matches in CZW as of late, something has to go wrong. And that something was Ruckus, as he sauntered down to ringside and distracted Quack enough for Carter to get the pin. Carter, realizing that he won because of Ruckus and not because of being the better man in a great match, jumped out of the ring and chased Ruckus to the back.

Backstage, Nate Webb is stretching out and preparing for his match with Chris Ca$h when, speak of the devil, Ca$h runs in and attacks Webb, working over the tender ankle that he Pillmanized weeks back. Ca$h yells there won't be a match tonight and runs off, leaving Webb clutching at his ankle and calling for help.

Wifebeater comes out to the ring to cut a promo. Hey, watch the F-Bombs. It's a family show. Wait, no it isn't, so F-Bombs away! Yeah, I didn't bother transcripting it. But he did put over the fact that he's won two out of the three Tournament of Deaths that CZW put on and he's bound and determined to win his third. Of course, his promo didn't go very far as The New H8 Club came out from the crowd and put a beatin' on Beater. Luckily for Beater, Nate Hatred ran out from the back and chased off Pain and Gage.

Great match with tons of heat. Again, MMW had the better of S.B.S. and were bound and determined to take the belts and finish their feud with S.B.S. before Tournament of Death. But you won't believe how they squeaked out with the win. Super Dragon had Damien 666 down on the mat so he went up to the top for his world famous Double Stomp to the head. Only Damien rolled out of the way and when Dragon came down, it looked like he snapped his ankle as he rolled to the outside clutching it. Excalibur had the ref look at Dragon's ankle and the ref decided throw up the dreaded X sign to bring out the paramedics. But once the medics came out, Excalibur grabbed the belts, gave one to Dragon and they both walked to the back like nothing happened. Dragon never snapped his ankle and didn't even pretend like it hurt as he walked to the back. You better believe that got a huge "Bullshit!" chant.

CZW World Champion The Messiah came out to the ring to hype up his title defense against Chris Hero in an I Quit match at the Tournament of Death. Messiah says that Hero has every reason to be afraid because TOD is his domain and he'll do anything (and I'm sure he means anything) to retain his belt. Of course, that brought out Chris Hero and the two started to brawl. It spilled out to ringside where Hero picked up Messiah and went for the Godsmack, only spinning him into the ring post (ala Brock F5ing Cena in the ringpost). Messiah went down clutching his knee, which brought out the UVDS. Hero escaped through the crowd and the damage was done.

Final Thoughts: Decent build-up for TOD. The actual Tournament wasn't super-built up, especially considering that there's still 4 more spots open, but the Beater promo did it's job. I'm more psyched for the World title match than the Tournament, if you ask me. Great match between Carter and Quack that ended too soon. And it's official, Super Dragon and Excalibur are the biggest dicks in wrestling! How many different ways have they screwed MMW out of the belts? 32? It's entertaining and makes me want to see MMW win it even more.

CZWrestling.com Press Release For August 19, 2005 - Final TOD4 Spots Filled, TOD4 Matches Set, Minor Rule Changes.

-The Authority of CZW, Nick Mondo, has signed the following wrestlers to take part in Tournament of Death 4 this Sunday:

A close personal friend of Mondo's - Horace The Psychopath!

A man crazy enough to piss off New Jack - "Vicious" Vic Grimes!

Winner of last year's IWA Mid-South King of the Deathmatch Tournament - Corporal Robinson!

Runner-up of last year's Tournament of Death - Necro Butcher!

-With the final spots filled, the opening tournament matches will look like this:

Corporal Robinson vs Adam Flash

Vic Grimes vs Angel

Horace The Psychopath vs Sexxxy Eddy

Necro Butcher vs Wifebeater

-There has been some uproar due to the DQ decision in the match between Adam Flash and Jonny Storm last week on Fake You! TV. It has been decided that, due to the exposure on TV leading to more matches and a weekly schedule for the wrestlers, most matches will be contested under standard rules. Although the rules will still be a little more lenient than in matches seen on WWE or TNA, a wrestler will be disqualified due to excessive violence when it isn't called for, such as Flash repeatedly beating on Storm with a chair for no reason. Of course, deathmatches, ladder matches and other such matches where a clear finish must be made will not have to worry about such rules. We feel that this is a good compromise that will give our die-hard fans the type of action they've come to appreciate yet ensure the safety of our talent.

-In other Fake You! TV news, we have extended our contract with WWN for another nine months!

-This week's match of the week is the CZW Tag Title match between S.B.S. and Mexico's Most Wanted and is available for download in the Multimedia section of the site.

CZW Tournament of Death 4

August 21, 2005

Opening Round:

Corporal Robinson vs Adam Flash

Vic Grimes vs Angel

Horace The Psychopath vs Sexxxy Eddy

Necro Butcher vs Wifebeater

Semi-Final Round:

Winner of Robinson/Flash vs Winner of Grimes/Angel

Winner of Horace/Eddy vs Winner of Necro/Beater

Final Round:

Winner of Semi-Final 1 vs Winner of Semi-Final 2

CZW World Championship Match

Anything Goes Until Someone Gives Up

The Messiah © vs Chris Hero

I bet you guys can see where this one is going before I even get done typing the match synopsis. Ca$h spent most of the time cheating before Nate Webb hobbled out to ringside on crutches, selling the attack to his ankle from last week. And the moment the ref had his back turned, Webb broke one of the crutches over Ca$h's head, leading to the upset victory for Kashin. Afterwards, Webb choked Ca$h with his other crutch before getting pulled off by various refs and security.

We cut to backstage where a grinning Ruckus walks into the office of the new Authority of CZW, Nick Mondo.

"Yo dawg, it's great to have you back. Remember the old days when you and me used to tear shit up around here? You know I helped save you last week, right bro? So how about helping a nigga out and cancelling that tag match, for the sake of B-Boy, right?"

"Yeah, I do remember the days where you and I were flying around this here arena like bats out of hell. But that doesn't change the fact that what you and B-Boy have been doing to Mike Quackenbush the past couple weeks is bull! So, no, I'm not just going to cancel an advertised match that the fans paid to see, even if your partner isn't here. You're lucky I don't put you in a Handicap match tonight! But I have found a suitable replacement for B-Boy but I won't tell you who. Tonight will be a Double Mystery Partner Tag Match and I suggest you get your ass out of my office and out to that ring because it's up next!"

"What the...? Man, screw you. You're lucky you're retired or else I'd punk yo' ass!"

We go to commercial and when we come back, Ruckus is stomping to the ring, waiting for his Mystery Partner. Some familiar music hits and out comes Jack Evans, a man that Ruckus kicked out of the Blackout after Cage of Death 6. Evans extends his hand as a peace offering and Ruckus just gives him a weak five. Next comes Mike Quackenbush, who takes a mike after getting into the ring.

"It's a shame B-Boy couldn't be here tonight but I couldn't let you guys miss a surprise like this. I've known my partner for a long time. We've wrestled up and down this coast together for years, whether it be on the same team or against each other. He's not quite so young by now and he's not very reckless anymore but he is one hell of a wrestler. So Tom Carter...come on down!"

The crowd gives a decent pop for the former Reckless Youth, Tom Carter, as he slaps hands with the fans on the way to the ring. Eric Gargiulo gives a brief rundown of these two men's history together as part of the Black T-Shirt Squad before the match goes underway.

Despite not wanting to work together, Ruckus and Evans actually gelled together well as a team. But that still couldn't compare to the years that Quack and Carter spent wrestling each other and knowing each other like brothers. Ruckus and Evans had Quack stranded on the top turnbuckle and looked to be going for a Spanish Fly or something but Carter ran into the ring and shoved Evans off the top to the outside and followed him out. Meanwhile, Quack took care of Ruckus with a Super Facebuster and got the pin for a small measure of revenge. The Black T-Shirt Squad played to the crowd while Ruckus and Evans bickered their way to the back.

Cut to Nick Mondo's office where we see Wifebeater, Nate Hatred, Nick Gage and Justice Pain all in the same room without coming to blows. Well...almost. The hatred is so thick that they're practically going into convulsions to prevent a brawl, especially since Mondo is standing between them all.

"I know you're wondering why I called you all in here. No, it's not to get this all worked out between you four. In fact, I would love to see you all beat the hell out of each other...and that's exactly what will happen tonight. In our main event, it will be Nate Hatred vs Wifebeater vs Nick Gage vs Justice Pain in an Ultraviolent 4-Way match. But the catch is that a spot in the Tournament of Death is on the line. I've talked this over with Zandig and we've decided that having all four of you in the Tournament of Death is too dangerous, even for CZW. That's why only one of you will go on to TOD in two weeks. The other three will have to wait until next year. Now I suggest all four of you get ready for your match."

I'm sure that decision didn't do much to ease the tension as all four men storm out with clenched fists. I'd be surprised if the match didn't start right outside the door.

It seems like we have two running themes in CZW television lately - Nate Webb and Chris Ca$h are costing each other matches and guys like Rico, Kaos, Christian York and Nicho are having killer matches. This one isn't an exception. But if you figured that Kaos could only win this one by cheating, well then...you'd be right. Feet on the ropes here. Maybe if Eddy had accompanied Rico out to the ring, that would've been averted. Oh well. Anyways, Christian York runs out after the match and gives Kaos a receipt for the attack from last week.

Meanwhile, back in Mondo's office, Chris Hero steps inside.

"Yeah, you wanted to see me?"

"I just wanted to thank you for saving me from being attacked by Messiah and his goon squad last week and I wanted to give you something in return - a rematch against Messiah for the CZW World title! Better yet, it's going to be in two weeks at the Tournament of Death in an I Quit match. I'm giving you free reign to do whatever you want to him. Anything goes until one of you gives up."

"So, I can do whatever I want?"

"Uh-huh."

"But he can do whatever he wants to me? At the Tournament of Death?"

"Yeah...I guess so."

"I don't know what you take me for but I'm not some 'extreme' spot-monkey, no offense. I'm a WRESTLER. I'm not about to get my back torn up by barbed wire or take some stupid light-tube shots."

"But I figured you'd want to get your hands on Messiah no matter what. So I take it you won't accept the match?"

"Of course I'll take the title shot. What do you think I am, stupid?"

Chris Hero walks out of the office while Mondo is left at his desk, dumbfounded by what just happened.

The match was littered with sick spots including fan-made weapons, tables and sick light-tube shots that I'm surprised made it on TV. Pain and Beater paired off while Nate Hatred worked over his former tag partner, Nick Gage, namely working over the hand he slammed in a car trunk last week. At one point, Pain had Beater pinned but Gage broke it up, showing that a spot in TOD was more important than their bond as a tag team and as brothers. That's heels for ya. Finally, Beater ended by giving Pain a Chokenstein off the apron and through a barbed wire table on the outside. Pretty good for a random beatdown match.

Final Thoughts: Decent show this time out, but not great. The crowd didn't take to Tom Carter's debut but I'm sure him and Quack will show them all what's up. This Ca$h/Webb feud had promise but is going nowhere fast. Mondo's making an impact as the Authority, even though it seemed like he was in every other segment. At least Tournament of Death is getting a decent build right off the bat, especially with the World title match.

CZWrestling.com Press Release For August 10, 2005 - Fake You! TV Preview, New TOD Entrants!

-Next week's episode of Fake You! TV will play host to the following matches:

Jonny Storm vs Adam Flash

Gene Snitsky vs CKNY - Handicap Match

Chris Ca$h vs Nate Webb

Mike Quackenbush vs Tom Carter

S.B.S. vs Mexico's Most Wanted - CZW Tag Team Championship Match

-Due to the result of the main event last night, Wifebeater has been granted the first spot in the Tournament of Death. Nate Hatred, Nick Gage and Justice Pain are now unable to enter due to the stipulations of the match. But Nick Mondo has decided to announce the next two entrants. First of all, Mondo has forced Adam Flash to enter as a punishment of sorts for being a part of the attack on Mondo a few weeks back. Second, Sexxxy Eddy has decided to throw his hat into the ring, despite urgings against it from his "mentor" Rico. Stay tuned to CZWrestling.com for more details on the Tournament of Death, coming August 21!

With Generico on a roll of sorts after his streak of...well, one win, he decides to forgo the comedy to extend his streak to two with a possible victory over The Wonderkid. Unfortunately, it was not to be as Generico was too predictable in going for the top-rope Brainbuster and it was countered by Storm into an insane Yoshi Tonic off the top turnbuckle for the pinfall. Unfortunately, for both men, even though this was the best match of the night wrestling-wise, the fans sat silent most of the time, save for the ending.

The camera cuts to The New H8 Club arriving at parking lot of the New Alhambra. While Pain and Gage get their bags from the trunk, they were assaulted by Wifebeater and Nate Hatred, who were still bandaged up due to the bloodbath they suffered two days ago. As 'Beater took care of Justice Pain by throwing him into a nearby dumpster, Hatred went a little bit further and slammed the trunk lid right on Nick Gage's right hand!

Most of the match was spent with Webb's dancing causing Berk's bezerker 'roid rage, which in turn would cause Berk to carelessly attack Webb to the point where it was easily reversible. But after a few minutes, Chris Ca$h came out with a chair and hit Webb in the face with it while Berk had Webb held for a German suplex, using the momentum of the chairshot to take him over. Berk put the chair on Webb's ankle and Ca$h came off the top with a Pillmanizing double-stomp! From there, Berk hooked on the Ankle Lock and there was no choice but for Webb to tap out. While Berk celebrated his way to the back, Ca$h continued to ram the chair into Webb's ankle until he was pulled off by the ref.

Backstage, Mike Quackenbush is doing stretches when he is jumped in the back by Jr. Heavyweight Champion Ruckus and Iron Man Champion B-Boy. Well, that was simple.

I can't quite tell if Angel has a crush on York or if it was just mind games. Angel kept getting under York's skin by dirty underhanded grabassing. And whenever York would get out of the ring to compose himself, RF would stare him down and stick his fingers in his mouth. York looks a little older than 14 so I don't think he has anything to worry about. Fact of the matter is that Angel's tactics didn't work on a consummate wrestler such as York and when Angel went for his Flying Fairy splash from the top rope, York rolled out of the way and then picked him back up just to put him back down with an Onion Buster for the win. While York celebrated his win (and while RF cradled the hurt Angel in his arms), Kaos ran down to the ring and put the boots to his adversary.

After the break, Mexico's Most Wanted come out to the ring. Damien 666 and Halloween cut a promo in broken English about being screwed out of the CZW Tag Team titles from the S.B.S. And, lo and behold, out come the champions themselves. But they just stand up on the stage while MMW continue to verbally run them down. Excalibur keeps making fun of their language skills (or lack thereof) from afar but when Damien calls them both "putos", Super Dragon drops his title belt and storms the ring. Excalibur just throws his hands up and only walks to the ring, figuring he should help his partner out whether he wants to or not. Luckily, neither team really gets the upper hand as all four men are promptly seperated by security.

Cut to backstage, where we see Mike Quackenbush seemingly hiding in a broom closet with a ice packet over his head, nursing his wounds from a Ruckus/B-Boy ambush and talking on a cell-phone.

"Hey man, I hate to call you up like this but I gotta ask you a favor. I got these two guys in CZW making my stay here a living hell. They're street thugs and I'm outnumbered so I was hoping you could help a brother out and show these two 'homeboys' what wrestling is all about. Are you up for it? Are you feeling good enough? Great. I'll see you out here next week."

We've seen it with Nate Webb and Sonjay Dutt. Now it's CZW Dance-Off 2: Electric Boogaloo! Eddy thought he could freak Par-K out with his male stripper dancing but it was countered with a chair dance finished off by a Spinaroonie. The crowd playfully chanted "You Got Served!" at Eddy's apparent defeat. Great match, with Par-K going move for move against Eddy, despite being much larger than him. Par-K put him out with a twisting senton off the ropes for the win. Afterwards, Par-K and Eddy shook hands to the delight of the crowd. I'm sure he learned from Rico how to respect the veterans.

So, the show's almost over and no new authority figure? Wait a minute...

"Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort!"

The place goes apeshit as Nick Mondo walks out to a CZW ring for the first time in years. He comes out wearing an Adidas warm-up suit and, without his makeup and spiked hair, actually looks like a normal person and not like the nutjob we've come to know an love. Mondo has the mike and cuts a great promo.

"Thanks a lot for the reception. I know I've been gone a long time so it's comforting to know that you've remembered me after all these years. Especially since a lot of you have bought Unscarred: The Life Story of Nick Mondo - available wherever DVDs are sold! *thumbs up* Seriously though, it's great to be back. As you can see, I'm not dressed to wrestle and, unfortunately, I don't intend to. I still considered myself retired from wrestling as my back is still tender. But even though I don't miss getting battered and bruised night in and night out, I did miss being in CZW. So when Zandig called me up and asked me if I'd keep an eye on things here while he's out with an injury, I jumped at the chance."

Suddenly, Messiah's music hits and out comes the CZW Champion, flanked by The Dew, Gene Snitsky and Adam Flash, collectively known as the Ultraviolent Death Squad. Messiah steps into the ring with a mike of his own while he tells the UVDS to stay out of the ring.

"Oh, is your back still hurt? Everyone knows that's bullshit because you've had plenty of time to rest up! The fact is that you're scared of me. You're scared that the greatest CZW World Champion of all time will end your career for good! You're scared I'll put you in a wheelchair or traction, whatever works. But you don't have to worry much longer. Because your end will be quick and painless!"

With that said, Snitsky and Flash slide into the ring and start beating on Mondo before throwing him to Messiah. When Messiah lifts him up for the Godsmack, most of the CZW locker room runs out for the save. Messiah is tackled by Chris Hero, saving Mondo from getting hit with Messiah's finisher, while the rest chase off the UVDS. Messiah and Hero start to brawl but Messiah is pulled out by Snitsky and the UVDS walks to the back, while the rest of the locker room either badmouths them or checks on Mondo's condition.

Final Thoughts: Decent show that was made up of matches seemingly thrown together at the last minute. Of course, the highlight was Mondo's return so I'm sure they didn't want anything to upstage that. A lot of the matches were solid, even if they didn't mean much. The only other big thing to note is Quack's mystery friend coming next week. Who will it be?

CZWrestling.com Press Release For August 3, 2005 - Fake You! TV Preview, Hirings and Firings.

-The card for next week's episode of Fake You! TV looks like this:

Chris Ca$h vs Kendo Kashin

Kaos vs Rico

Ruckus and B-Boy vs Mike Quackenbush and ???

-Speaking of Quackenbush's Mystery Partner, one of Nick Mondo's first actions today as the Authority of CZW was to sign him to an exclusive Written contract! Only Quack and Mondo know who this man is and you'll find out next week on Fake You! TV.

-As you may have noticed, the match list looks a little sparse. Rumor is that Mondo might be setting up a match that will have an impact on Tournament of Death 5, which will take place August 21! Tune into Fake You! TV for more details.

-Unfortunately, we have decided to part ways with Jigsaw and Eddie Kingston due to low morale in the locker room. We wish them all the best in the future.

-Head on over to CZWrestling.com's Multimedia section to download the Match of the Week - L.A. Par-K vs Sexxxy Eddy!

Didn't these guys do the opening dark match a few months ago? Come on, promote these guys to the real show already, especially Claudio! Pretty entertaining comedy match, must like the last time. Only this time, Berk finished Claudio off with an Angle Slam off the top turnbuckle for the win.

If this didn't have a storyline attached to it, this would probably be the dark match. Not as good as Berk/Claudio but still decent. Nate Webb danced out to ringside, distracting Chris Ca$h from attempting a top-rope maneuver when Generico ran up and hit the top-turnbuckle BRAINBUSTAAHHHHH! (finally!) for the win. Afterwards, Generico helps Webb put a bit of a beatdown on Ca$h.

This match had the crowd very hot from beginning to end. I'm sure everyone wanted MMW to get the belts back, which they almost did. At one point during the match, Excalibur slid a Tag belt into the ring and distracted the ref so Super Dragon could use it. But Halloween used it instead and got the pin! Just as the ring announcer was to announce MMW the NEW Tag Team Champions, Excalibur brought another ref from the back to reverse the decision! The crowd started a deafening "BULLSHIT!" chant while I'm sure Gargiulo was in the Eagle's Nest having a coronary yelling about how there's no Dusty Finishes in CZW. S.B.S. walked to the back with the Tag Titles and the second ref, so I'm sure something was up between them.

Wifebeater and Nate Hatred came out to the ring to cut a promo on The New H8 Club. I didn't really keep track of what they said but that wasn't important as Justice Pain and Nick Gage came out to the ring and totally demolished them. Seriously, it looked like Beater tapped a vein as parts of the mat were soaked in blood.

This match would've been great but it seemed like there was too much going on at once and all three men tried to cram every one of their moves in somehow. Near the end, B-Boy was knocked out of the ring, leaving Ruckus and Quack to go at it. Ruckus went for the Razzle Dazzle, which normally doesn't finish a match. But while Ruckus went for a pin, B-Boy leaned into the ring and held Quack's feet down so he wouldn't kick out, making Ruckus the new Jr. Heavyweight Champion! I'm sure B-Boy did it just to walk out of the match with the Iron Man title as he quickly grabbed the belt from the timekeeper and walked to the back. Quack and Ruckus spent a few minutes in the ring arguing and explaining what happened before Ruckus stormed to the back after B-Boy.

Just like the website predicted, match of the night. Even though the last three-way was decent, this one was a lot tighter and more cohesive. Kaos spent most of the match trying not to get beat on by York. Kaos let Nicho and York go at it for a bit which resulted in York eating a Guillotine Legdrop. But Nicho made the mistake of not going for the pin because, as he was getting up, Kaos hit Nicho with the Flying Guillotine! With Nicho out, Kaos added insult to injury by putting a foot on York and striking a pose for the easy pinfall. Kaos celebrated his big win by getting garbage thrown at him by the fans as he walked to the back.

New CZW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Ruckus came out with a mike. He cut a promo talking about how he wanted to defeat Quack one-on-one fair and square but B-Boy ruined that for him. So he's calling B-Boy out right now! B-Boy comes out with another mike saying that all he cared about was leaving with the Iron Man title around his waist and he doesn't care about that POS Jr. title. But, if a fight is what Ruckus wants, a fight is what he'll get. Both B-Boy and Ruckus stared at each other before laying their respective title belts down on the mat, stepping over them and...hugging? WTF? It was a plan all along! Ruckus and B-Boy are teaming up! Ruckus gets back on the mike to insult the fans and brag that "Quack got served".

Great technical match with Hero working over Messiah the whole time. I think Hero got a bit too cocky as he pretty much played with Messiah throughout the match, knowing that Gene Snitsky couldn't come out to the ring. But Messiah had a plan. Even though Snitsky couldn't come out and interfere doesn't mean that anyone else can. So out came Adam Flash to stick his nose in their business. With Messiah down for a bit, Hero focused all of his attention on Flash. But while Hero had Flash in a cravate (!!), Messiah slid back into the ring and clocked Hero hard with a chair. Flash then helped Messiah put Hero on the top turnbuckle so Messiah could hit him with a Godsmack from the top for the win. After the match, Messiah grabs the mike and tells Snitsky and Dew to come out and get them some. While Snitsky and Flash beat down Hero (with Dew getting a few girly slaps in), Messiah talks about forming the Ultraviolent Death Squad and, with Zandig out with an injury, their mission is to take over CZW!

Final Thoughts: Very good show, though not quite as good as last month's No Rules, No Limits, but still close. Kaos vs York vs Nicho was the obvious MOTN. But the Tag Title match (despite the swerve) and the World title match were still quite good as well. The Jr./Iron Man three-way was alright but a little spotty. For some reason, the crowd crapped on the Ruckus/B-Boy team-up. I think it'll be great. Then again, I'm a B-Boy mark so what do I know?

CZWrestling.com Press Release For July 25, 2005 - No Excuses Aftermath, Fake You! TV Reminder.

-You could call No Excuses last night a "Night of Swerves" as it seemed the heels got over their adversaries in almost every match. Iron Man Champion B-Boy and NEW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Ruckus teamed up for the goal of taking the Jr. title off of Mike Quackenbush. Tag Team Champions S.B.S. retained their titles after a reversed decision. But the kicker is that after the match, the second ref was celebrating with the champions and even accepting money from them! Just how much money did the S.B.S. scam off of the Blackout a few months back? I'm sure Mexico's Most Wanted want some revenge for getting screwed out of the Tag titles once more. And the big news is the formation of the Ultraviolent Death Squad (or UVDS) with Adam Flash, Gene Snitsky and The Dew being led by World Champion Messiah on a "mission" to control CZW. When asked for a comment, CZW Owner John Zandig could not give one. But we're all sure that, even with an injury, Zandig won't take this lying down.

-A reminder for all our viewers on WWN that Fake You! TV tomorrow night will be a special recap of No Excuses. American audiences that haven't seen the show live will have to wait a week or so until the show is released from Smart Mark Video.

-Speaking of Smart Mark Video, all of the Fake You! TV episodes that have aired in July are available to purchase in one DVD or VHS set! Visit www.smartmarkvideo.com for more details!

I try to keep the good indy talent in my game and build them up. I only have a few other WWE guys coming so it's not like I'm gonna totally overhaul CZW and turn it into sports entertainment. Rico is a guy that I've always liked and didn't think he got a fair shake in the WWE. If you catch some of his OVW stuff, you'll find he's a pretty solid worker. Snitsky...well, I don't really know why I hired him. Novelty, I guess? I like him because he's so bad but while writing this diary, I'm starting to regret it. But it's not like I have him in the game forever.

Neither of these men had the greatest of starts since Best of the Best 5. Kashin lost last week to Sexxxy Eddy and Storm got squashed in no time by Gene Snitsky. This is a chance for both men to redeem themselves. Match was fairly fast-paced. Storm wanted to use his aerial maneuvers while Kashin wanted to keep Storm on the mat. Storm ended up wearing Kashin down enough to hit a Dragonrana from the top turnbuckle into a pinning predicament for the win.

Much of this match was spent with Ca$h stalling, not wanting to lock up with Webb. Webb easily had control over most of the match but Ca$h won at the end with a handful of tights. The crowd crapped all over this one.

Backstage, B-Boy is sitting in the locker room with the CZW Iron Man title slung over his shoulder:

"You know something, I'm getting sick and tired of guys stealing my spotlight. I won the CZW Iron Man Championship after wrestling two matches at the Cage of Death in December. And since then, I've been used...what...two, maybe three times? In that time, I've seen guys dancing in thongs get over me. I've seen guys who's only wrestling talent is throwing somebody through glass get over me. I've seen the One-Man Abortion Clinic get over me. But worse of all, I've seen motherfuckers looking like Fred Savage and Gary Coleman get over me. To top it off, they're fighting for an over-rated, spray-painted piece of tin. THIS (slapping the Iron Man title) is the only belt worth having in CZW! Not the Jr. title held by midgets. Not the World title held by the Thumbless Wonder. This is the only belt that proves you being a real man...an Iron Man. So, you boys wanna be men? Get at me."

Decent match pretty much played solely for comedy. To give you an idea, Berk went for the German Suplex off of the apron (again, like Angle) but Angel held on to the ropes, leaving Berk looking like he was humping Angel. It took a little bit for Berk to realize what he was doing and run over to the other side of the ring, wiping the "gay" off himself apparently. Later on, Berk went for the Angle Slam but Feinberg leaned into the ring and grabbed Berk's foot, causing Angel to land on top and get the pin. Angel and RF hugged all the way to the back while Berk stood in the ring, looking like he needed to take a bath for the next few days.

Backstage, Ruckus walks out of the CZW Office confronts CZW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Mike Quackenbush, accusing him of being in cahoots with B-Boy after hearing what's set up for No Excuses. Quack pleads innocent but Ruckus isn't having any of it and starts beating him down in the middle of the hallway.

This was set to be a preview for the CZW Tag Team Title match at No Excuses and, considering the underhanded tactics of S.B.S., this may be a pretty accurate prediction of what's to come this Sunday. Excalibur made his way out to the ring and distracted Halloween long enough for Super Dragon to hit a Psycho Driver for the win. The Champions started to beat on Halloween but Damien 666 ran out for the save. S.B.S. walked to the back bragging about still being the Champions and claiming they'll walk out with the titles this Sunday.

Rico and Eddy fared pretty well in their first tag match together, even though Eddy pretty much played a pinball bouncing in between Nate and Wifebeater. Rico later got the hot tag and took control back for his team but The New H8 Club sauntered out to the ring. While Justice Pain distracted the ref, Nick Gage slid into the ring and clocked Nate and Wifebeater with chairs. With the damage done, Eddy tagged himself in and got the easy pin. Afterwards, Rico chewed out Eddy on their way to the back for taking the cheap win while Pain and Gage worked over Nate and Wifebeater with chairs inside the ring.

Another classic match from two of the best workers CZW has right now. And another match ruined by that jackass Kaos. After a brutal battle, both Nicho and York were disoriented. Nicho was in the ring and York was at ringside when Kaos ran out and gave York the Shooting Star to the floor and rolled him back in the ring. Nicho went up top and hit the the Guillotine Leg Drop for the win. Afterwards, Kaos slid back into the ring to beat on York some more but Nicho realized he won cheaply and pushed Kaos off of York and threw him out of the ring. Kaos yelled at the two men threatening to take both of them on while Nicho helped York to his feet.

CZW World Champion Messiah came out to the ring without Gene Snitsky or The Dew by his side. He started cutting a promo talking about how he came to the ring alone tonight because he'll make sure to beat the crap out of Chris Hero all on his own come No Excuses. But Hero's music interrupted the promo, ticking Messiah off. But while Messiah was looking at the entrance, waiting for Hero to come out, Hero instead came through the crowd behind him and attacked. When all was said and done, Chris Hero had Messiah down on the mat and held the CZW World title to the sky. Will No Excuses end up the same way?

Final Thoughts: Decent enough show but most of the good stuff didn't happen until the second half. Guys like Nicho, York and Kaos keep putting on great matches. Rico and Eddy worked together well for their first time out but I'm sure Eddy will get even better with Rico's guidance. Great lead-ins to No Excuses for Messiah/Hero, SBS/MMW and Quack/Ruckus. But what exactly is up with Quack and Ruckus at No Excuses? I'm sure we'll hear about it soon.

CZWrestling.com Press Release For July 20, 2005 - Final No Excuses Card!

-Three new matches have been signed to take place at No Excuses on July 24:

Chris Ca$h has made an odd request for No Excuses. After "owning" Nate Webb last night on Fake You! TV, Ca$h has requested a match against El Generico to prove as an example and promised to dispose of Generico as easily as he has with Webb.

In a sure-fire Match of the Night Candidate, there will be a Triangle Match between Nicho El Milionario, Christian York and Kaos! Kaos has quite possibly bit off more than he could chew when tangling with these two future legends. Worse yet, this match won't be under Three Way Dance rules. This will be one fall to a finish so you can bet Kaos will be a marked man!

Finally, the match that was signed at the Fake You! TV taping that led to Ruckus attacking Jr. Heavyweight Champion Mike Quackenbush will be another Triangle Match - Ruckus vs Mike Quackenbush vs B-Boy! The catch is that BOTH the Jr. Heavyweight title and the Iron Man title will be on the line in this match! Again, the rule will be one fall to a finish so if a Champion is pinned, the winner will win that belt. B-Boy and Quack both have an opportunity to walk out of No Excuses as double-champions but not if Ruckus has his way.

-Make sure you come out to the New Alhambra Arena this Sunday, July 24 for No Excuses!

-Don't forget to make your way to CZWrestling.com's multimedia section to download the Match of the Week - Nicho El Milionario vs Christian York!

-Also, another reminder: Next week's episode of Fake You! TV will be a recap of No Excuses for our European audiences. After every large Arena show, we will be airing recaps and full matches of the show on WWN. Regular TV tapings will resume the week after. In this case, the next live taping will be August 2.

CZW No Excuses

Live At The New Alhambra Arena

July 24, 2005

Chris Ca$h vs El Generico

CZW Tag Team Championship Match

S.B.S. (Super Dragon and Excalibur) © vs Mexico's Most Wanted (Damien 666 and Halloween)

CZW Jr. Heavyweight/Iron Man Championship Match

Mike Quackenbush © vs B-Boy © vs Ruckus

Nicho El Milionario vs Christian York vs Ruckus

CZW World Championship Match

The Messiah © vs Chris Hero

Gene Snitsky will be banned from ringside!

Decent opening match, though nothing special. Eddy's male stripper act kept the fans entertained...somehow. You know, for a bunch of anti-gay fans, they REALLY like Eddy. Kashin actually controlled most of the match but got distracted by Eddy's gyrating antics and fell victim to a SexxxyPlex.

After both Eddy and Kendo went to the back, Nate Webb came out with a microphone.

"I'm sure most of you are wondering what's going on with Chris Ca$h. To tell you the truth, I'd like to know that myself. So Chris, I'm calling you out right now. I think I, and these fans, deserve an explanation."

Chris Ca$h comes out with a microphone of his own and jumps into the ring, cutting a promo while staring down Webb.

"An explanation? Why should I give you an explanation for what's been going on? Hell, why are you even pinning this stuff on me? You're the one that lost the match last week."

"That's because you didn't help me!"

"Why should I help you? You should be thanking me that I'm allowing you to ride on my coattails! That backwoods retard JC Bailey thought he was better than me and look at him now! Jobless! Penniless! Homeless! And if you don't watch your mouth, you're gonna end up the same way!"

With that statement, Webb had enough and slapped the taste out of Ca$h's mouth! Ca$h looked surprised but that quickly changed as he rained punches down on Webb's head. It escalated into a fight that went up the aisle and back into the locker room before cutting for an ad break.

After the ad break, we see Sexxxy Eddy celebrating his win over Kendo Kashin by bumping and grinding in front of a mirror in the locker room. Suddenly, he stops, looks in the mirror and turns around, revealing Rico standing behind him.

"Uhhhhh...how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to watch you hump that mirror, you weirdo. Anyways, that's not what I'm here about. I'm here because I just watched your match and I enjoyed it. Kinda reminded me a lot of myself, actually. I think you have a lot of potential but you need some work. If you just follow me, I think we can work those kinks out."

"Wow, that's a compli...wait a minute, did you say 'kink'? Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Rico?"

"Jesus! Just because Vince gives someone a bad gimmick doesn't mean they're gay! You know what? You don't want my help? You want to open shows all your life? Fine by me! I was just trying to be nice but screw that!"

"Whoa! Sorry Mr. Rico. I'd really appreciate the help. Of course I'll follow you."

"Good. First things first, sit back here and watch how a pro dispatches of a wrestler like L.A. Par-K."

"What then Mr. Rico?"

"Quit calling me 'Mr. Rico'?"

"You got it, Mr. Rico."

Rico slaps his forehead and walks out of the room to prepare for his upcoming match. And once he figures the coast is clear, Eddy goes back to grinding on the mirror.

Both Quack and Ruckus wrestled an even match and came to many stalemates. I'm sure if they were given more time, they could've easily gone the time limit and then some. Unfortunately, we weren't given that opportunity as the CZW Iron Man Champion B-Boy ran out to the ring and clocked Quack with the Iron Man belt. Ruckus looked pissed at B-Boy for ruining the match and B-Boy clocked him too! B-Boy held the Iron Man title high to a chorus of boos while standing over two fallen bodies. What going on with B-Boy?

Backstage, Kaos is in the locker room stretching out when he is suddenly ambushed by Christian York, obviously getting revenge for Kaos' stolen victory last week. York had Kaos down and punching him when Kaos curled up in the fetal position. York got up and decided not to waste any more punches on someone as low as Kaos but then changed his mind and gave him a swift kick to the stomach to make sure he didn't get back up.

Most of the match was in the H8 Club's favor as they did whatever they could to cheat behind the ref's back. But once MMW made a comeback, out ran the CZW Tag Team Champions S.B.S. to distract them. While the H8 Club distracted the ref, Super Dragon and Excalibur slid into the rings and clocked Damien 666 and Halloween with the Tag Titles, much like B-Boy did in the previous match. With the damage done, the H8 Club got the easy win and walked to the back. Meanwhile, Super Dragon hit Curb Stomps on Damien and Halloween to add injury to..well, more injury.

Great solid match. Near the end, L.A. Par-K went to hit Rico with a chair but Rico ducked, turned around and hit a roundhouse kick, sending the chair into Par-K's face. That was enough for Rico to get the pin. Afterwards, he helped Par-K up and raised his hand. If this was Sexxxy Eddy's first lesson in becoming a better wrestler, he'll be great in no time.

We cut to the parking lot outside of the New Alhambra Arena and see that Messiah and Gene Snitsky are beating Chris Hero to a bloody pulp. Messiah eventually backs off but lets Snitsky continue. Since Snitsky won't be able to get any shots in at No Excuses, Messiah will let him get his shots in now. Messiah turns around and sees the cameraman filming the attack so he grabs the camera and throws it on the asphalt, leaving the show to end in static.

Final Thoughts: Another solid show. Fake You! TV is becoming a must-see show for indy fans, which sucks because most indy American fans won't be able to see it unless they buy the tapes from Smart Mark Video. Rico vs L.A. Par-K was great. Quack vs Ruckus would've been too if B-Boy hadn't interfered. The Rico/Eddy stuff was hilarious and it's nice to see the Ca$h/Webb feud start off with a bang. I have a feeling that the Hero/Messiah feud will go on for a while, which will definately make for good matches.

CZWrestling.com Press Release For July 14, 2005 - Fake You! TV Preview.

-Make sure to download CZW's Match of the Week - Rico vs L.A. Par-K!

-Here's what's signed for Fake You! TV next week:

After being seperated from a pull-apart brawl in the locker room a few nights ago, both Chris Ca$h and Nate Webb agreed to face off in a match next week!

We'll see how the newly formed tandem of Rico and Sexxxy Eddy (which Eddy has dubbed "The Sexxx Express") will fare when they face off against Nate Hatred and Wifebeater.

In a preview of the CZW Tag Team title match at No Excuses, Halloween will face off against one-half of the Tag Team Champions, Super Dragon!

In our main event, Christian York will face off against Nicho El Milionario in what's sure to be a high-flying classic!

Plus, we'll hear from B-Boy and get an explanation for his actions against Mike Quackenbush and Ruckus last week. We'll also hear from Messiah to find out if he has any doubts going into No Excuses defending the CZW World title against Chris Hero.

All this plus Kendo Kashin vs Jonny Storm and Angel vs Nick Berk! Don't forget to tune in to WWN next Tuesday night or see us live at the New Alhambra Arena on Monday.

The show opens with Eric Garguilo and John House in the Eagle's Nest of the New Alhambra Arena overlooking the ring and the fans, welcoming all the viewers in Europe and on Smart Mark Video to the return of Fake You! TV. And we get things started with:

The match was decently wrestled but they didn't get much reaction except from the CZW die-hard fans. Berk got some heat as he's now doing some sort of Kurt Angle-wannabe gimmick, I guess. Berk even went as far as putting on the Ankle Lock for the submission victory.

Fun match that perfectly blended comedy and high-flying. The match didn't last too long as Generico went for the top-rope Brainbuster early on. The kicker was that Quack held on to the top turnbuckle and let Generico fall on his ass in the corner. While Generico was getting to his feet, Quack jumped off the top with a double-stomp onto his back and then hooked in a Lightning Lock for the win. But the real action happened after the match as Ruckus walked out to the ring with a microphone, interrupting Quack's celebration.

"Yo, yo, yo white boy! I don't know what you're doing but it looks like you're parading around the ring with MY belt. Everyone in this building knows that it was me who made that belt what it is today. In my eyes, I'm the contender and you're just a pretender. You're just lucky that the morons running this company sent my Blackout homeboys packing or else you'd get the ass beating of a lifetime."

By this time, Quack had enough and took a mike of his own from the timekeeper's table.

"Oh, I'm lucky, am I? Let me guess, you desperately want to cry about how your 'homeboys' got fired but I guess you're still standing! You're still strong! Am I right? You know something, I've been on the roll of my life and I'm feeling a bit generous. If you want your belt back, how about you come and take it from me next week on Fake You! TV?"

The crowd cheers as this announcement and Ruckus is shaking his head yes so it looks like another title match is on for next week!

Ca$h and Webb came out to the ring glaring at each other and were obviously not on the same page. For most of the match, Nate and Wifebeater would take turns pounding on Webb before Ca$h would conveniently tag himself in, only to meet the same fate. After only a minute or so of torture, Ca$h tagged the beaten-down Webb back in. Understandably, Webb didn't want back in the match just yet so he argued with Ca$h in the corner, which left him open for a spike powerbomb from the monsters and when Hatred pinned Webb, Ca$h didn't even bother to break it. To add insult to injury, Ca$h yelled at Webb for not winning the match and stormed off. What the hell is Chris Ca$h's problem?

After a commercial break, Kaos came out to the ring and cut a brief promo about being the "greatest CZW wrestler ever" and not having a match on their return to TV. So he issued an open challenge to anyone in the back while Eric Garguilo nearly blew a vessel in his neck yelling about how this wasn't in the format. Out came Christian York and the impromptu match was on!

Best match of the night by far. Both men went hold-for-hold with each other. Kaos really is an underrated wrestler, it's a shame that he's known more for his cheating than his wrestling, just like tonight. York went up to the top rope and hit a cross-body splash, yet Kaos rolled through and grabbed the tights to get the cheap victory. Once the bell rang, Kaos jumped out of the ring and celebrated to the back while York argued with the ref.

Backstage, Nate Hatred and Wifebeater celebrated their win over Nate Webb and Chris Ca$h when out of nowhere, they get jumped by The New H8 Club, Justice Pain and Nick Gage. Pain and Gage worked them over with chairs before leaving them on the floor in a bloody heap.

Wow, what a mis-match. Storm tried working over Snitsky with some punches to no effect. So he decided to go up top and tried hitting him with a Dragonrana. No dice as Snitsky caught him and powerbombed him for the win. Shortest main event ever. Afterwards, Snitsky went apeshit and beat on the much smaller Storm to a chorus of boos. Snitsky only stopped when CZW World Champion The Messiah ran out and told him to go to the corner. As Storm was helped to the back, The Messiah cut a promo about how Chris Hero would never get a chance at the CZW World title. And right on cue, "Kryptonite" played and out came Chris Hero with a mike of his own.

"It's funny that you say I'll never get a title shot. You know, Zandig may not be a smart man. He may not even be a talented man, but he knows what the people want. So he and I had a little heart-to-heart chat and we both came to the conclusion that the people don't want to see you hold the belt any longer than you have already. So, what I have in my hand here is a contract that says I get a CZW World title shot against you at No Excuses on July 24 and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it. Better yet, Roid Boy over there is banned from ringside as well! So get that belt nice and shiny because in a few weeks, it'll be around the waist of the REAL Savior of CZW, Chris Hero!"

Messiah starts yelling and ironically Snitsky has to calm him down as the show ends.

Final Thoughts: Nice way to start things off. I guess Chris Ca$h will be feuding with Nate Webb instead of the recently cut JC Bailey. I think that'll work out better anyways. Webb and Ca$h have great characters. Quack vs Ruckus next week should rule. Kaos and York pulled out a sleeper match as always. The only real negative was the main event but I think it was booked more as a set-up to Messiah/Hero instead of as a real match.

CZWrestling.com Press Release for July 7, 2005 - Preview for next week's Fake You! TV.

-First of all, we'd like everyone who came out to the Fake You! TV taping on July 4th. We understand it was a big holiday but we still got a decent turn out. We'd also like to thank everyone who watched the show on WWN as we earned a 1.00 rating, the highest possible rating we can get on WWN. Thank you for your support!

-Don't forget to watch the Match of the Week on CZWrestling.com - Kaos vs Christian York!

-Here's what's on tap for Fake You! TV next week:

The first match signed for this week came about when Ruckus interrupted CZW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Mike Quackenbush's victory over El Generico last week. Ruckus staked a claim to the title and Quack made the challenge right then and there. How different will Ruckus act now that he doesn't have the Blackout to back him up anymore? This should be a great one-on-one encounter between the current Jr. Heavyweight Champion and one of the greatest former champions in CZW history and there won't be anyone around to ruin it.

Another match signed will pit the The New H8 Club, Justice Pain and Nick Gage, against the #1 Contenders to the CZW Tag Team titles, Mexico's Most Wanted. While the #1 Contendership will not be on the line, this match will still be chaotic, especially since Nate Hatred and Wifebeater will want some payback after the attack they suffered at the hands of Pain and Gage next week, not to mention the CZW Tag Team Champions, S.B.S., getting involved as well.

Nate Webb has requested a forum to speak on his odd situation with Chris Ca$h and CZW Management has granted him that forum next week on Fake You! TV. What exactly is going on inside the head of Chris Ca$h?

Also, what is Messiah's reaction after being forced to defend the title at No Excuses against Chris Hero, and without the backup of Gene Snitsky to boot?

All this and more as Sexxxy Eddy will face Kendo Kashin and L.A. Par-K will square off against Rico! Come see it live at the New Alhambra Arena on July 11 or, for our European fans, watch it on WWN on July 12!

I don't use Arsenic. I would rather have things go wrong which will force me to find another way to make things work instead of having things going my way through the whole game. That's boring to me. So my CZW game is Arsenic-free and I'll touch on things in my diary that'll reflect how I'll work around certain events.

Oh yeah, the first episode of Fake You! TV should be up soon. Sorry for the wait.

I had to let go of Steen and Sweeney due to low morale. I let go of Maff and Rave because they were working for ROH, who were larger than me at the time, so I couldn't sign them to a Written like I wanted to. Plus I figured it'd be a matter of time before they left me anyways. Bailey was kinda sad because his stats sucked in the game. As you can tell, I used him pretty often but he pretty much brought down everyone he worked with. It was really sad because he was pretty much my least over worker with only 8 overness! But don't worry, some of those guys will be back. It might be a while but they'll be back.

CZWrestling.com Press Release for July 1, 2005 - Huge News: Both Good and Bad!

-First of all, we'll start this huge press release off with some good news: Fake You! TV will return in July! We have struck a deal with the World Wrestling Network to air Fake You! TV in Prime Time every Tuesday night. The bad news of this is that WWN is based mainly in Europe. Though we have very strong fanbases in places like Italy and Germany and we'll garner a solid amount of viewers with each show, this really doesn't do anything for our fanbase in America. But CZW is known for turning negatives into positives. For one, this means more live events as we will run TV tapings in the New Alhambra Arena every Monday night in addition to our large events once a month. Also, we have struck an agreement with Smart Mark Video who will sell the episodes on VHS and DVD. Plus, we will have the Match of the Week available for download or streaming video at CZWrestling.com. Stay tuned for the inaugural line-up for the return of Fake You! TV, premiering July 5 on WWN.

-We continue with more good news as we have signed more wrestlers to exclusive written contracts. The wrestlers who have signed on to compete solely for CZW are:

Angel

Chris Hero

Gene Snitsky

Jonny Storm

L.A. Par-K

Mike Quackenbush

Nate Webb

The Dew

Adam Flash

Kendo Kashin

Chris Ca$h

-Unfortunately, due to CZW losing money from their pay-per-view venture, we have cut the following wrestlers from our roster:

Kevin Steen

Larry Sweeney

Derek Frazier

DJ Hyde

Dan Maff

Ghost Shadow

JC Bailey

Jimmy Rave

Maven Bentley

Robby Mireno

Sabian

Ryan Sakoda

Shawn Daivari

Spyral

Some cuts were due to bad attitudes or low morale. Some were due to obligations from other companies. Some were due to wrestlers needing more experience. As with all of our roster cuts (and there may be more on the way), this doesn't mean we'll never see them in CZW again. We'll be keeping an eye on them and when we feel someone has improved enough, we won't hesitate in hiring them back. We wish the best of luck to all of these wrestlers in their future endeavors.

-To end our press release, we send condolences to the owners and wrestlers of IWA Mid-South and the International Wrestling Syndicate as those companies have sadly gone bankrupt. While a few other companies have gone bankrupt in recent months, we feel IWA-MS and IWS have left a giant mark on independent wrestling history by putting on the best shows possible and they will be sorely missed.

CZWrestling.com Press Release for June 14, 2006 - No Rules Aftermath, Unfortunate Briscoe News, Big News On The Way!

-Word going around the CZW locker room is that Zandig is pissed off at Chris Hero taking his spot in the six-man tag at No Rules, No Limits a few days back. Zandig, like a lot of us, was under the assumption that Hero quit CZW at Cage of Death 6 never to be seen again, only for him to come back a few months later when the boss is out with an injury. After talking with Wifebeater and Nate Hatred though, he agreed to the age-old adage "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" and figured that Messiah is a bigger threat to CZW than Chris Hero. While Zandig and Hero may not like each other, they do share a common enemy now and while he may not get a "Hero's Welcome" from Zandig, it is enough for Zandig to accept his return to CZW.

-The day after losing to Generation NeXt at No Rules, No Limits, Jay Briscoe came to CZW Management and revealed that he's been battling an alcohol problem. He came to us for help and we have decided that the best way to help him would be to send him to rehab. We wish Jay Briscoe all the luck in the world for him to beat his addiction.

-There hasn't been much in the way of noteworthy news after No Rules, No Limits. But we are working out some deals that, if they come through, will turn July 2005 into a great starting point for the new era in CZW. Stay tuned to CZWrestling.com for more updates.

I figured Generico would go over since Flash is one of the guys who ragged on the new CZW management and got suspended for it. Then again, I think I just plain wanted Generico to go over anyways. And I wanted to see the top-rope BRAINBUSTAH!! dammit! I bet they just gave him the easy dark match win just to keep him happy.

Another shocker. Considering the winning team was from ROH, I figured the home team would prevail. And I thought they would as Evans pretty much played Ricky Morton the whole match. Then he got the hot tag and Roderick backbreaker'd everyone into oblivion before letting Evans hit an insane twisty splash from the top for the win.

Kaos came out to the ring STILL ranting to the fans about getting screwed, even though he beat Nicho two months ago. But Angel obliged by bending over and showing him his...nevermind. This is actually a first, sorta , considering where these two wrestled previously. I may be outing myself by saying this but they've only wrestled each other twice: once in a gauntlet match and once briefly in a War Games match before everyone else came out. Yeah, I watched XPW. So sue me. Anyways, all the fans wanted to see them face off one-on-one since they were pretty much the only talented original wrestlers XPW churned out but it never happened. Now, we finally get that chance and we have to deal with fuckin' Rick Feinberg. Great. And of course, he had to go and ruin a perfectly good match when he got up on the apron to yell at Kaos. Angel went to charge Kaos but Kaos ducked, causing Angel to put on the brakes. It looked like Angel and RF were gonna make out but thankfully Kaos put a stop to that by picking up Angel and dropping him with his Shooting Star Ganso-Bomb for the win.

Quack is definately on a roll. Not only did he go through three men at Best of the Best but he beat Sonjay tonight for the belt a few weeks later. Dutt and Quack put on a great high-flying clinic but in the end, Quack slapped on one of his famed submissions and Dutt had no choice but to tap. Dutt, like York, did the right thing by handing Quack the belt himself and raising his hand in victory.

CZW Tag Team Champions S.B.S. walk out to the ring. Excalibur has a mike while Super Dragon has the belt on under his robe and gets ready for the match. Excalibur cuts a pretty racist promo but hey, he's from So-Cal and "those guys" are everywhere! It gets to the point where Nicho El Milionario comes out with a mike of his own and cuts a promo...in Spanish! Excalibur just kinda makes goofy faces throughout the promo before interrupting him by yelling "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!?" But Nicho didn't have to speak to introduce his Mystery Partner for the night and the newest member of La Familia De Tijuana: L.A. Par-K!! When Par-K came out to the ring with his trusty chair, Excalibur's jaw almost hit the floor.

Even though Excalibur couldn't believe it, Super Dragon was all about facing L.A. Par-K. And Par-K obliged by damn near knocking out Dragon with a chair. Meanwhile, Excalibur tried to run to the back but Nicho wasn't having any of that. Dragon saved Excalibur from a beating a few times but the end came when Dragon was hit with ANOTHER chair shot before taking a top-rope Guillotine Legdrop from Nicho. After Nicho got the pinfall, he waved to the back and out came Mexico's Most Wanted. All four members of La Familia went under the ring to get tables to put Dragon and Excalibur on. Damien and Halloween went to the top and both came off with splashes through the tables for a huge pop from the crowd. All of them celebrated now that MMW will get a rematch with the Tag titles on the line next month!

I like to think they booked this match not to show up WWE but to keep Snitsky busy so he won't interfere in the main event. But after seeing this match, I think there's plenty of reasons that WWE never booked this match: the main reason being...Gene Snitsky. I also like to think that Rico defeated Snitsky by outsmarting him and getting an upset over the larger competitor. But I really think Rico won due to Snitsky's ineptitude as a wrestler. Thank God that Rico's a capable wrestler to carry Snitsky, otherwise this match would've really sucked. Oh yeah, Snitsky went all 'roidal and beat down Rico after the match, forcing security to pull him off.

CZW World Champion The Messiah came out with The Dew and The New H8 Club. All four men are absolutely happy to the point where Dewey even came out with a party hat and noisemaker. Messiah takes the mike:

"I never thought I'd see the day where I'd see Zandig out of CZW! I figured it'd take me years to get rid of him but the old-ass bastard did it himself yesterday! Whether he ripped his tricep, pulled his groin or was just scared of me kicking his ass again, it doesn't matter. The point is he's gone and now we can run this place!"

Suddenly, he's interrupted by the tune of "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down and out comes Chris Hero with a mike of his own!

"Never fear! The Savior of CZW is here! And no, Messiah, you're not the savior. That title belongs to Chris Hero because I will bring CZW out of the gutter and propel it to greatness! I'm not like you guys, coming out and bragging just because Zandig is gone. I'm coming out here because I want an opportunity that the brass in CZW wouldn't give me otherwise. You see, for CZW to evolve from a company full of random assholes bashing each other with lighttubes into a legit wrestling company, you need a capable wrestler as your World Champion! And only a true Savior can be World Champion, not a false messiah like you. And if you four dumbasses didn't figure it out yet, I am replacing Zandig in the six-man tag! Yes, I'll stoop to your garbage wrestling level if it means a title shot in the future for one Chris Hero. So Wifebeater, Nate Hatred, get out here because we have some asses to kick tonight!"

Finally, Wifebeater and Nate come out but they start to argue with Hero a bit, wondering if they can trust him. Hero assures them and all three men slide to the ring to start the brawl!

Really, there's no way to recap a six-man tag from CZW. All six men fought all over ringside...well, five. Hero stayed out of the fray most of the match, only to lock on some holds to wear someone down at opportune moments. But the end was pretty stellar. It got to the point where Messiah was thrown into the ring to face Chris Hero who had a chair. Messiah got down on his knees and begged Hero not to hit him. Hero reared back but suddenly dropped the chair and locked Messiah into a cravate instead! The crowd had a hearty laugh from that. But then Wifebeater slid into the ring after he and Nate had put Pain and Gage out. Hero saw this, let go of the cravate and threw Messiah to Wifebeater who hit him with a Chokenstein for the win! Messiah and The New H8 Club scurried to the back while the faces celebrated their win. Wifebeater and Hatred shook hands with Hero for helping them win the match and Hero made the motion of the belt around his waist, signaling his intent on winning the CZW World title.

Final Thoughts: Best show of the year thus far and that's including Best of the Best. I figured they would've scrambled and hoped for a decent show after Zandig got injured but after a while, you forgot he was gone. Hero returns to go after Messiah's title, L.A. Par-K debuts, Quack wins the Jr. title and solid matches from Generation NeXt, The Briscoes, Angel and Kaos made for a good show that may end up even better once Smart Mark Video releases it. The only real downer of the night was Rico vs Snitsky but the crowd even got into that one. Maybe if I can suspend my disbelief into Snitsky not sucking, I would've got into it too. If we keep getting shows like this one, they'll rebound from losing money off the Best of the Best PPV in no time.

Yeah, I figured that's why you did the Semi-Final four-ways, to make it fit in the format. That's one of the main reasons I simplified my Best of the Best into single-elimination, other than the fact that I didn't really like the way CZW did it to begin with.

CZWrestling.com Press Release for May 23, 2005 - Best of the Best 5 Aftermath.

-Congratulations to "Lightning" Mike Quackenbush for becoming the winner of Best of the Best 5! Even though he's the leader of CHIKARA and the head trainer of the CHIKARA Wrestle Factory, he told CZWrestling.com that he considers winning Best of the Best 5 a proverbial feather in the cap of his career. We know he's worked hard throughout the years to become the consummate professional and we feel that things are only going to get better for the Quack!

-Afterwards, there was a big party backstage celebrating Quackenbush's win, consisting of most of the competitors. Notable by their abscences were Chris Ca$h and JC Bailey, who could still be fighting throughout Philly for all we know!

-Two other men who weren't happy with their Best of the Best performance were Damien 666 and Halloween, Mexico's Most Wanted. La Familia leader Nicho El Milionario dropped by to calm the former Tag Team champions down after Super Dragon and Excalibur stole the belts from them. Nicho told CZWrestling.com, through a translator, that the S.B.S. will pay next month.

-Finally, thank you to all of the fans that not only attended Best of the Best 5 live but ordered it on Pay-Per-View. It's to early to find out the final numbers but whether or not a ton of people ordered it, we still feel Best of the Best 5 was a success!

11th June 2006 - Joe Vs Necro II

The Pay-Per-View opens up with a sweet CZW music video before ending with a pre-taped segment of all the Best of the Best competitors posing in the ring together for a group photo. In a nice touch, they seperated all four members of Team Ca$h. After the video, we get a few camera shots of the crowd before going up to Eric Gargiulo and John House in the Eagle's Nest over looking the crowd in the New Alhambra Arena (better known as the former ECW Arena).

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Best of the Best 5. Alongside John House, I'm Eric Gargiulo and if this is your first exposure to CZW, sit down because you're in for one hell of a thrill ride. If you're a long-time fan of CZW, you know the deal with Best of the Best. We take a group of some of the best independent talent and have them go through a grueling tournament to find out who really is the Best of the Best."

Suddenly, Zandig's music hits the PA system and Zandig walks out to the ring, still bandaged from his Barbed Wire match against The Messiah last month.

"I hate to say this but thank god for John Zandig. Because if he wasn't gonna interrupt your long-winded spiel, I was gonna."

Zandig takes a mike and well...transcripting a Zandig promo is kinda useless. He pretty much went over the same stuff that Gargiulo did, put over the talent and said this PPV will send CZW "straight to the mutha-fuckin' top!"

Before the match, Garguilo went over the rules of the First Round matches, the main one being that the person who gets the pin will be the only one to advance. In this case, York got the pin and therefore advances. York and Storm had some pretty good exchanges, one of which spilled to the outside where Angel hit both of them with a somersault senton from the top turnbuckle! Angel threw York inside the ring to get the pin but York kicked out. Rick Feinberg came out to help Angel but he only served as a distraction for York to hit the Onion Buster and get the pin.

"What the hell was Feinberg doing at ringside? This is supposed to be a competition, dammit!"

"Normally, I'd commend a manager helping his guy get the win. But Rick Feinberg is such a scumbag that I can't get behind anything he does."

Solid match between all three men, particularly Daivari, who most fans are more accustomed to him being a mouthpiece than an actual wrestler. At one point, Daivari went under the ring and Gargiulo and House went crazy thinking he was going to pull out a weapon. Instead, he pulled out a Persian Rug and went to the top rope for his famous Magic Carpet Ride. But Evans met Daivari at the pass and threw him off the top. Evans then went to the top rope himself and hit Daivari with the 630 Moonsault! Evans went for the pin while the crowd chanted "Holy shit!" but the pin was broken up by a running knee to Evans' face from Rave. The knee was enough for Evans to get knocked out and Rave to get the pin and advance.

"I don't know about you but I consider this an upset. Not to discredit Rave but, in many circles, Jack Evans was the favorite to win the whole tournament, let alone the first match!"

"That goes to show you how quickly the tides can change here in CZW."

Sakoda looked different than what WWE fans remember him, shaving off his beard and going back to looking like Masato Tanaka wearing Tajiri's pants. The match wasn't bad, just uneventful. Quack actually got both men to submit to some weird double submission hold, which was cool.

"I think we're looking at a dark horse in this tournament in Mike Quackenbush. He can fly AND put on lethal submissions like the one you've just seen."

"I don't know. It depends if he can get an opportunity to slap on one of those holds and with the speed and caliber of the talent in this tournament, I don't know if he can get that opening."

Before the match started, Nate Webb got on the mike.

"Chris, I know you're sick of JC's bullshit. But quite frankly, me and Eddy are sick of YOUR bullshit! You wanna break up Team Ca$h? Fine. But this shit is between you two. If you want us to wrestle, tag us in."

With that, Webb and Eddy went to opposite corners of the ring while Ca$h and JC stared each other down. Suddenly, Ca$h turned around and slapped Webb in the face, tagging him in. JC said he only wanted to wrestle Ca$h so he tagged Eddy in. Webb and Eddy wrestled for a few minutes before stopping and tagging both Ca$h and JC at the same time, forcing them to square off. They wrestled for a few minutes before it deteriorating into an all-out brawl. It got to the point where JC and Ca$h brawled through the crowd, leaving Webb and Eddy in the ring shrugging their shoulders. After the initial confusion, Webb and Eddy got back to wrestling. The end came when Webb came off the top turnbuckle with a spinning splash onto Eddy.

"It's a shame that Team Ca$h had to break up over such petty circumstances."

"I don't know. Something's telling me that this isn't over between all of them."

Best match of the night thus far. Even though York is still young, he's considered a veteran of the independent scene. And while the rising star of Jimmy Rave had decent control of the match, York was able to take one hole in Rave's offense (the re-use of the running knee) and turn it into a win (grabbing it and turning it into a modified Indian Deathlock for the submission).

"It was tough going for a bit there but congratulations to Christian York for advancing to the Final match of Best of the Best 5!"

"Yeah, now we get to see who the opponent will be."

This match didn't take long to end. Webb was still a bit tired due to only having a one-match break and Quack took liberties with Webb by wearing him down even more with a few holds before cinching in a Mexican Surfboard hold which Webb had no choice but to tap out to.

"No disrespect to Nate Webb but you might as well have given Quack a bye!"

"The next match will give both Mike Quackenbush and Christian York a break but you can't help but think that Quack will have a bit of an advantage going into the Finals."

S.B.S. (particularly Excalibur) carry over pay-per-view well and MMW are definately talented enough to keep the fans entertained as well so this match was a decent watch. Of course, it wasn't without controversy. Damien had Excalibur by the legs and spun him around the ring, setting him up for Montezuma's Revenge. But before Halloween could deliver the finishing dropkick, Super Dragon ran in and gave Halloween a spinning forearm. Damien let go of Excalibur and stumbled dizzily around the ring, which gave Excalibur the opening for a schoolboy pin...with his feet on the ropes. The bell rang and Super Dragon yanked the Tag belts from the timekeeper. Excalibur cradled his belt like a baby and Dragon held his high before walking to the back while MMW stayed in the ring arguing with the ref.

"This is an outrage! S.B.S. stole another one and for the Tag Team titles, no less! Super Dragon and Excalibur are great wrestlers. They didn't need to cheat to win the titles!"

"Of course they didn't have to, but they wanted to! Guys, I know a great place that'll give you a ton of cash for those belts!"

"Would you shut up?"

Everyone expected Quack to have a large advantage over York due to having such a fast Semi-Final match but York made sure that he put up a fight. Quack even pulled out a few high-flying moves to counter some of York's but York got the upper-hand in that department. Finally, Quack decided to bring York down to the mat, which took longer than he thought. It took a good while for Quack to wear York down since York surely didn't want to give up his chance to be named Best of the Best. But as Quack held York's head in a legscissors, York couldn't fight it off and his arm ended up dropping three times, awarding the match to Quackenbush. While Quack celebrated in the ring, York rolled out of the ring and grabbed the Best of the Best trophy so he could award it to Quack himself. York even went as far to try to lift the winner on his shoulders but was too tired. So the rest of the participants came out and all of them lifted Quackenbush up high together to end the show.

Final Thoughts: As much as I like Quack and think he's a deserving winner, I'm sure a lot of people watching the PPV new to CZW thought "Who the hell is this guy?" Oddly enough, the worst match on the show was the one that was hyped the most - the Team Ca$h four-way. It started out well, with the tagging and all, but by the time Ca$h and JC decided to brawl, it kinda just grinded the show to a halt. Luckily York's match with Rave picked it back up. And I'm glad that S.B.S. are tag champs but MMW's only had the belt for a little over a month. What gives?

Damn, I can't believe Necro went all Sid on me.

Anyways, good TOD. But Zandig taking it all? I dig the Mondo return, but I don't like Zandig much. I guess if you're gonna have Zandig win something, have him do it in something he's good at...mindless violence and as little wrestling as possible. Plus it's better than having Wifebeater win it...AGAIN. And at least you got Sexxxy Eddy farther than he did for the 2005 TOD. Him losing in the first round pissed me off.

Can't wait to see what you come up with for Trifecta, providing that you're still keeping the format of new talent trying to earn a spot in Best of the Best.

CZWrestling.com Press Release for April 19, 2005 - Higher Level of Pain aftermath, Wrestler Suspensions.

-After being defeated by Messiah and getting cut out of the barbed wire, CZWrestling.com tried to get a comment from Zandig, who vehemently denied. All he said is that he'll get Messiah back but it will have to wait until after Best of the Best.

-One person we did get comment from was Excalibur of the new #1 Contenders to the CZW Tag Team titles, S.B.S. Excalibur was quoted as saying "WE'RE RICH, BIOTCH! Not only did we take the tag title shot at Best of the Best, but we scammed those big-nose-having bastards out of their crack money! And once we take those gold belts after we send Jose and Jesus back to the border, maybe we'll pawn them and get more chedda!"

-Chris Ca$h also gave CZWrestling.com a brief comment after his match at Higher Level of Pain, telling us that he was "sick of JC Bailey's emo bullshit" and if he had his way "Best of the Best will signal the end of Team Ca$h".

-Both Adam Flash and Jude have been suspended for the remainder of the month due to them making derogatory comments toward CZW management and certain talent on radio shows.

Fun little dark match to open up the show. Claudio made sure to undo his tie to make sure it wasn't used against him like last month. I don't know if Berk is trying to act like Kurt Angle or what but he seemed to get some Olympic-sized "roid rage", which ended up backfiring on him, giving Claudio the win.

Bailey came out to the ring looking a bit dejected but once the bell rang, he was all business. Sadly, one too many high spots cost Bailey the victory as Ca$h was able to reverse one and hit the Ca$h Flow. Apparently, Bailey's effort was enough for Ca$h to reconsider his spot in the Team as Ca$h helped Bailey to his feet. But out of nowhere, Bailey shoved Ca$h into the corner and gave him a slap to the face before stomping his way to the dressing room.

Zandig came out to the ring with a mike as the fans popped. Zandig let the crowd know that The New H8 Club hasn't showed up yet but when they do, he'll be ready. More importantly, though, is what he has planned for Messiah tonight. He calls Messiah out just so he can make the announcement to his face. Messiah comes out and takes the mike, saying that no matter what the surprise is, he'll still walk out of the New Alhambra Arena CZW World Champion. Zandig takes the mike back and says that he begs to differ because the Messiah will be defending the World title against him tonight! Messiah takes the mike back and says "Whoop-de-fricken-do! I've beaten you before and I'll beat you tonight." Zandig takes the mike back and says he wasn't finished. He says that the ring ropes will be taken down and barbed wire will be put in their place! Tonight, it'll just be Messiah vs Zandig surrounded in barbed wire so "that douchebag" (referring to The Dew) can't interfere. Messiah looks like he's gonna wet himself so Zandig tells him to go to the back and get ready because he's gonna need all the preparation the world if he's going to walk out of tonight unscathed.

The Wildcards were eliminated first by The Briscoes due to them still feeling the effects of their beatdown at the hands of S.B.S. at Divide and Conquer. Mark held Eddie in a wheelbarrow hold while Jay came off the top with a knee drop to his head. Coupled with the Super Curb Stomp from last month, it was enough to knock Eddie out cold. The Briscoes were then eliminated due to a numbers game, where The Blackout beat on Jay while S.B.S. worked over Mark. Ruckus pinned Jay with a Phoenix Splash and Mark couldn't do anything to save him. The Blackout and S.B.S. met in the middle of the ring and celebrated. They showed it was a plan all along once Ruckus and Sabian gave Super Dragon and Excalibur money. But as soon at they pocketed the cash, the S.B.S. turned on their benefactors and attacked! The Blackout tried to make a comeback but it was all for naught. When Super Dragon was beating down Ruckus in the corner with a Violence Party, Excalibur picked up Sabian for a Tiger Driver and yelled at Dragon to run across the ring and give Sabian a dropkick in the midsection, dropping Sabian on his head. While Excalibur went for the pin on Sabian, Ruckus tried to make the save but got caught with a Psycho Driver from Super Dragon for good measure. The S.B.S. walked to the back, not only celebrating their newly-won #1 Contendership, but flaunting the cash they scammed from The Blackout.

Rick Feinberg came out to the ring with a mike to cut a promo, looking a lot less flamboyant than before but looking a lot more like his namesake. If it were any less subtle, he would've driven up to the ring in a silver Lexus. He announced his "surprise"...which is him falling in love. Of course the crowd shit all over him once they realized they didn't get a real surprise. Most of the promo was spent on him trying to cover up the fact that they met online. Then he decided to bring him out and that's when the real surprise happened when RF's "lover" was revealed as The Hardcore Homo, Angel! They embraced in the ring and then walked to the back holding hands. Most of the crowd booed and threw garbage but some of us who actually knew who Angel was from other promotions kinda looked at each other dumbfounded.

The match started off as comedy with Dutt and Eddy in a heated Dance-Off. But once Dutt started getting unnerved by Eddy's...um...gyrating, he started things off. Eddy actually had control of the match for some time and we thought we were going to see a new Jr. Heavyweight Champion but he decided to dance instead, which led to his downfall. Sonjay went to the top, yelled something about "that bitch Ruckus stealing his move" and finished the match with a Phoenix Splash of his own. Afterwards, Eddy started gyrating his hips in Sonjay's direction. Dutt just shook his head, grabbed his belt and walked to the back.

While Dutt and Eddy were walking to the back, there was a commotion in the middle of the crowd. After a while, it was revealed that The New H8 Club, Justice Pain and Nick Gage, had come in through the front door and were making their way through the crowd. Both men jumped over the guardrail and demanded a mike from the ring announcer. Pain talks about how easy it was to get in the building despite being banned. They didn't want to cause much trouble, they mainly wanted to see what sad excuse of a surprise Zandig came up with for them. Zandig came out and said that he's got bigger fish to fry in the form of Messiah so he doesn't have the time to mess with punks like them. But he does know of a few guys that would like to get their hands on him. Once he said that, out ran Nate Hatred and Wifebeater. All four men got in a massive brawl but once Wifebeater went under the ring and pulled out his trusty weedwhacker, The New H8 Club ran out of the building the same way they came in.

This match was pretty good considering the lack of build-up. Best match of the night when it came to wrestling. Nicho pretty much had this match in the bag but I guess Kaos thought he would have to screw somebody else so he wouldn't get "screwed" himself. That was pretty clear as Kaos not only grabbed Nicho's tights during a roll-up but put his feet on the ropes as well. Nicho was understandably pissed so Kaos ran to the back like a pansy to avoid any further altercation.

The barbed wire was put up to keep The Dew from interfering but it only worked to an extent. As Messiah and Zandig beat the hell out of each other and cut each other up, The Dew walked out to the ring. Zandig saw this and was determined to make an example out of him, going so far as to throwing Dewey into the barbed wire! But that was all the distraction that was needed as a tall muscular man in a hood ran out to the ring and clobbered Zandig with a chair. The man grabbed the ref while Messiah hit Zandig with a Godsmack onto the barbed wire and forced him to count the three. After the win, Messiah grabbed a mike and announced to the crowd his own "surprise". The tall man took off the hood and revealed himself as Gene Snitsky!! Snitsky helped Messiah tie up Zandig in the barbed wire ropes and told Zandig that he went out and found the sickest and most demented wrestler he could think of. He hired Snitsky as his personal bodyguard and if anyone wants to get their hands on The Messiah or his World title, they'd have to go through Snitsky. After hitting Zandig with a few chair shots and torturing him a bit more with the barbed wire, Snitsky slung The Dew over his shoulder while Messiah slung the World title over his own shoulder and they walked to the back amidst the booing of the fans.

Final Thoughts: Snitsky? Now there's a shock. Sure, he's not a great wrestler but I'm sure he'll make a good bodyguard for Messiah. Overall, I think this was about a good of show as Divide and Conquer. The Barbed Wire match was good for the gorehounds and Kaos vs Nicho was pretty good for the wrestling fans. Other than that, nothing really clicked. Dutt vs Eddy was alright but seemed thrown together at the last minute. The 4-Team Elimination was a big spotfest but was enjoyable. Ca$h vs Bailey wasn't the greatest but it'll be interesting to see where this is going. It'll also be interesting to see what they do with Angel too. I hope he breaks away from RF soon, though. I can't stand that guy.

I don't really get why Cash challenged Bailey though.

CZWrestling.com Press Release for March 14, 2005 - Divide and Conquer Aftermath, Expansion Continues!

-Before driving away from some of the wrestlers who chased them out of the New Alhambra Arena, Nick Gage and Justice Pain referred to themselves as The New H8 Club. Meanwhile, Nate Hatred seemed to be OK, albeit shaken up and undoubtedly pissed off, after getting a double chairshot from his former partners.

-CZW Owner John Zandig has sent a cryptic message to CZWrestling.com saying he will "take matters into his own hands at Higher Level of Pain" next month, not only on the New H8 Club situation but on Messiah's stranglehold on the World title as well! Stay tuned to CZWrestling.com for more word on these developments.

-Rumors are flying that, after his match, Chris Ca$h searched for JC Bailey, wanting to apologize to him for blowing up at him after their loss of the CZW Tag Team titles to Mexico's Most Wanted. But Ca$h couldn't find JC because he walked out of the arena right after the match! Expect some sort of statement from Chris Ca$h on this situation in the coming days.

-The expansion of CZW continues as CZW Management have decided to put more money into production, meaning better looking sets and better filming of DVD releases from SmartMarkVideo.com!

-Sadly, we have decided to let go of the team of All Money Is Legal, Luda Kash and Kayotic Kid. We feel that they could use a bit more work, fine tuning and experience that comes from wrestling in other federations. We wish them nothing but the best in their future endeavors.

This dark match was an enjoyable one, played mostly for comedy. After they got into an argument over whose entrance music is better (The Eternal Battle of "Teenage Dirtbag" vs "Sledgehammer"), Webb got the duke by pulling on Claudio's tie and turning it into a pinning predicament.

This match couldn't have lasted any more than five minutes. With CKNY waiting in the ring, The Briscoes come out in their hoodies to some Bob Seger. Hoodies flew off, they threw Niles out of the ring, hit Cory with an awesome assisted top-rope knee drop of sorts, pinfall, hoodies back on and walk to the back. Great way for the Briscoes to kick off their CZW comeback but we hardly got any time to celebrate the return.

The Wild Cards were really close to getting some revenge from last month but their emotions got the best of them. One minor mistake led to Jack getting hit with a Tiger Driver from Excalibur for the win. Eddie tried attacking the S.B.S after the match but the odds were against him. Not only did he fall victim to a Curb Stomp but the S.B.S. unveiled the Super Curb Stomp. Excalibur got Eddie into the Curb Stomp position while Super Dragon came off of the top rope with a Foot Stomp, almost squashing Eddie's head into the mat. S.B.S. walked to the back knowing the damage had been done while Eddie and Jack needed helped to the back.

CZW World Champ The Messiah came out with The Dew to cut a promo, claiming that they defeated "Queen Rico" fairly. During the promo, Nicho El Milionario ran out to the ring with a mike of his own, cutting a promo in Spanish at a hundred words a second. In a funny bit, Messiah interrupted Nicho and said "I see your mouth moving but all I can hear is 'Punch me in the face!'" So Nicho punched Messiah in the face! They got into a bit of a brawl with Nicho getting the upperhand. He went up top to give Messiah a Guillotine Legrop but The Dew saved Messiah's ass and they ran to the back.

This was Maff's chance to change the past by defeating the man who won the Xtreme Strong Style tournament and he came very close to doing just that. Maff, having the size advantage, was in control for most of the match. But when B-Boy kicked out of a HUGE Cannonball splash in the corner, Maff knew he was gonna have to do a lot more to put him away. Maff picked up B-Boy for a Burning Hammer but B-Boy somehow wriggled out and hit an Inverted DDT out of desperation. Both men struggled to their feet but B-Boy was able to get up first with enough time to clock Maff with a Shining Wizard for the win. Afterwards, both men shook hands in a show of sportsmanship.

Ca$h and Bailey tried so hard to stay on the same page throughout the match but you could tell something was up. When you're facing a tag team that's been together as long as MMW, you can't afford to show any weakness because they'll surely capitalize it. And capitalize they did. Damien was paired with Ca$h and Halloween with Bailey. Halloween threw Bailey out and by this time, Damien had Ca$h spinning around in the Montezuma's Revenge. Halloween delivered the dropkick to the head and Bailey couldn't come back in time to break the pinfall. MMW were awarded the belts and they celebrated with the fans all the way to the back. Meanwhile in the ring, Ca$h was berating Bailey as to why he didn't save him. Bailey responded with a shove and walked to the back with his head down.

Nice solid match that could easily blend in to a Raw lineup..well, if it were cut by 10 minutes or so. The end came when Kaos went for a 450 Splash but Rico had the wherewithal to roll out of the way. While Kaos was on his knees clutching his abdomen, Rico reared back and gave Kaos a swift karate kick to the head, knocking him out long enough to get the pinfall. While Rico was celebrating his victory, Kaos came to and went nuts. He attacked Rico from behind and then put him out with a Shooting Star jumping piledriver. Kaos then walked to the back, yelling at fans how he keeps getting "screwed".

Now, the moment we've all be waiting for: the "apology" from Nick Gage, Nate Hatred and Justice Pain. Gage and Hatred came out with chairs and Pain came out with a mike. Of course we didn't get an apology. They're heels, ya know. But they did do a good job of getting the crowd pissed. But nothing got the crowd more pissed off as what happened next. Pain finished by saying "We screwed the crowd! We screwed Wifebeater! We screwed the fans! Now, we're screwing...YOU!" pointing at Hatred. Suddenly, Nick Gage clocked his now-former tag team partner with the chair. While Nate was getting back to his feet, Pain grabbed the chair that he dropped and BOOM! Con-chair-to! Gage and Pain went to get a table from under the ring but the locker room emptied out. A few of them chased Gage and Pain out of the arena while some stayed behind and checked on Nate Hatred's condition.

Speaking of getting screwed. Reminiscent to last month's match against Rico, Messiah came pretty close to defeat at the hands of Nicho. Nicho actually could've had the match won when he hit the Guillotine Legdrop from the top but The Dew reached in and put Messiah's foot on the bottom rope. While Nicho argued with the ref, Dewey slid the World title into Messiah. Once Nicho turned around, he got clocked with the belt. The ref saw the entire thing and disqualified Messiah. Even though he lost, Messiah celebrated like he won the Super Bowl because he still had his belt.

Final Thoughts: I don't think this show was as good as Uncivlized was last month. Not to say it was bad, but it wasn't great. Again, they ended the show with two screw-jobs in a row...well, three if you ask Kaos. Nicho vs Messiah was the MOTN by far. Kaos vs Rico was a sleeper match but not quite good enough to outshine the main event. MMW vs Team Ca$h didn't disappoint. I liked B-Boy vs Maff too but the fans just weren't into it for some reason. The Briscoes' return happened so quick that if you blinked, you would've missed it. Oh yeah, Super Curb Stomp...nuckin' futs!

Finger Poke of Doom? I'll go all Bruiser Brody on your ass and glue a razorblade to my finger.

j/k I'm all about getting some more recognition to the diaries that aren't just your average run-of-the-mill "I can run WWE better than Vince cuz I won the lottery and stuff" that only lasts about 2 weeks-diary. I just hope the abundance of CZW diaries can help make that happen.

Either that or we'll all get ignored. But at least we'll have each other. *platonic hugs*