ROZAY

Breaking News: The WWE have fired people who Katsuya doesn't care about. Won't list them - if they don't appear, consider them gone.

Ladies and gentlemen, bear witness, as THAT is how you write a backstory. I loved just about every single bit of it, and hope you continue on with these backstage shennanigins as well as a look on your new job. You've explained everything in depth, and didn't just make it "I was handed the book because they just gave it to me despite me being a wrestling fan who knows nothing about real booking" like a lot of people usually do. My own personal problem with the backstory was having WCW Headquarters in New York (I don't know if they actually did, I really never followed WCW much, more of a WWF and ECW guy), as that's WWF and ECW territory. But, that's a little thing that I'll probably forget about in a matter of a few minutes.

I just hope you can write shows as good as you do your backstory, because we'll be in for a real treat, and this will easily become one of my favorite diaries here. Keep up the excellent work bro, as I've found nothing wrong with this diary, and have just read pure greatness.

Thumbs up.

On a quick note, I also agree about the name being lame for a wrestler. But then again, a lot of our favorite wrestlers start out with bad names, so no big deal.

But anyway, my long and drawn out thoughts:

Like a lot of people's work that I've read here, you have an interesting concept going on. However, like a lot of other's I've read, you also have so many chances to capitalize on it, yet you don't.

First, I liked how you started your career - putting yourself into that fight. Dialogue between all of the included parties might have been better, but that's not so big.

A oppurtunity you had to capitalize on was your guy's past. See, you just gave us the basic jist of his life - the stuff regarding his parents, and not much else. You could have nailed it had you given us a full backstory just based on his life from past to present, and THEN the rest of what you have done. Again, it's not THAT big of a deal, just something that you could have used to make this diary a lot better.

I wouldn't have Mr. Burpee win his first two matches. It would have been a better story if he just kept losing but impressed enough to keep a job, to eventually when after all the demons within and taunting from his peers and family, you finally got the win to end all that, and then started moving up in the wrestling word.

See, this really does have a lot of potential to be a really good diary. The thing is, you have to capitalize on nearly all possible oppurtunities that you are presented with, with absolutely no hesitation. I'm not trying to drag you down at all, just giving you some pointers, because I really do see potential in this.

Work on it dude, and feel free to ask me for any help or advice if you need.

First off, WOW, that was a long show LK. As for the read? Well, we'll see .

- Nice, unique name for the show. If only we were in Compton...

- For some reason, I really like the commentary you have here. While simple, it's extremely catchy. Hopefully Godfather & Hudson continue to make a good team.

- SMOTHERS~!. Hudson's comment on how your show is set up with the basic "anything goes" attitude really has set the tone for your diary. You don't censor things, you write how they would actually talk, this is some of the best work I've seen in awhile. Seriously dude, I'm really impressed here. You've immediately got me hooked just based on the commentary and first promo alone. Shame EWR gave you a shitty match rating.

- And if this show couldn't get any better, it did. The first match was well-written, and a decent length for what you were going for. Good idea on putting the belts on Southern Comfort, as I think with that promo and win, you've immediately gotten them over as top players in the tag team division in your diary. AWESOME way of making a great heel team man.

- Again, great promo work, this time with Killings. It's as if I can actually hear them saying this, which is something a lot of writers can't get you into. Another great promo that got me excited about the main event. This is already becoming one of the best shows I've ever read, and in just a few segments.

- Wow. Another great match to cap off what has been a great show thus far. I was really hoping you'd put the title on Angel, but can't have every title change on the first show. Hopefully, a rematch is in the brewing, or a possible feud. Angel Job=RATINGZ.

- Infomercial? First I've seen in a diary. I may have to steal it.

- Holy hell was that a segment or what? Jessica is such a BITCH. This can be your Trish/Lita feud right here. I mean, it's so EASY to get shots in on Lita nowadays. And Dinero attacking Hardy was another good thing on top of this. I smell an inter-gender match coming on soon.

- Sorry, just can't get into Pogo/Grimes. I just can't imagine a sadistic clown, unless he's scaring little kids. Sorry.

- THAT'S how to write a title match. Kids, you can learn from this man. Commentary during matches rule, and so does long descriptions with lots of near-falls that get you hooked.

- Interesting concept for the Gangster's Paradise, and you more then delivered with it. Strange interference aside, another well-written match that kind of reminded me of Raven/Richards vs Pitbulls 2/3 falls match in ECW. Of course, not as good though.

And that's what I call a great debut show. The best show I've seen in awhile (although I haven't seen a lot of shows here even though I've been lurking for awhile ). Shame that it didn't come out that way in EWR, but you made it one of the best in written format, and that's all that matters. :thumbsup:

Well, here's my first actual meaningful post in this actual topic, so might as well comment on a show. Hopefully other shows go up soon, as I'm loving the look of all of these diarys. The concept is highly original, and hopefully with a little bit more organization, you can all pull this off well.

- The pre-show segment. I ALMOST expected The Rock to be giving it due to the title . Anyway, it's not really all that hard to portray Jeff Jarrett. Just the usual promo, his trademark 'Slapnuts' or 'Slappy', and you're good. This was his usual typical promo, so I can't really say anything about it being good or bad. Seemed to work on EWR, though.

- Traditional country music is cool for a theme song and all, but if you need a good country song for wrestling, let me know. I have plenty, and somewhat feel embarrassed for even saying that.

- You need a country-sounding JR. I would just love for you to have JR as the slacked-jaw heel announcer for the promotion. Spacing between the commentary would help as well.

- Garrison Cade... a champion?! Well, never judge a book by it's cover, I suppose. Nice touch with the information on 'Rampage' Quinton Jackson, stating his record and what promotion he's from. It was a bad match to open the show with, yes, but a title match, no matter how shitty it is (unless it's REALLY shitty), can always get a good ol' crowd pumped up. You also really got Cade over as the normal mid-card heel champion, and I actually liked your use of Mr. Jackson. Hopefully you use him often in the future, as this was a pretty good mid-card storyline to start off your first show.

- I'm just counting down the shows before you have Dustin turn on Dusty, and have the father vs son encounter. C'mon man, you HAVE to have it. Predictable that AMW would win, but then AMW are the SHIT~! and you need to have them in the picture for the Tag Team titles IMMEDIATELY.

- GREAT commentary for introducing Deven Storm. I liked the first long approach for a match in your diary. It should be at least interesting to see where you go with the couple after this match. And, empty soda cartons being thrown>*.

- The Midnight Express? The Rock'N'Roll Express? Please, do me a favor and have AMW beat the Midnight Express soon and have both teams bow out as quickly as possible. I really didn't expect a title change in the first show, but you were always unpredictable with title changes on TV shows in your diaries.

- Maybe it's just me, but I'm not a fan of having 10 minute+ matches back-to-back-to-back. I always like to have maybe two lenghty matches, followed by a short squash or so, and then another long match, as seeing about 40 minutes of wrestling in three matches really drains me out. Corino beating Gunn however, is a GOOD thing. Now just have Gunn leave the promotion, and we'll just forgive and forget, okay? A Shane/Corino alliance is pretty cool though.

- And another 15 minute match... god, how much time does your show have? Figured Jarret would go over, but for the love of Christ, have some shorter matches! Or at least make the description longer. But, you were never really big on the longest of match descriptions, so why expect that now?

- A 25 minute main event match blown on the first episode? Wow man, that could have easily been the main event for one of your bigger events. This was really the only thing I truely didn't like in the first show, and wasn't willing to look the other way. But then again, this is Texas, and Texas is no-bullshit wrestling.

Anyway, my final thoughts. I thought the show was very rough for a first show, with quite a few flaws. However, you've never really worked with this type of talent before, and this WAS your first show, so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Just try and get a more TV feel for Southern wrestling, and don't give away big matches that you could have had in the future.

Decent, if not rough, show. Hopefully the next show will have more of a TV feel then a big event on TV feel, if you know what I mean.

great stuff man.  You are a great writer.  You can tell it takes time for your shows.  ARe you doin TV shows though?

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Very interesting concept you all have going here - probably one of the most original I've seen in awhile. Hopefully you all have some interaction with each other's feds, like a big PPV offering with everyone's fed participating. I'll wait to see how this goes before I make any more judgements.

Good luck.

Brilliant show. I loved reading all of it. The character developments are really interesting, and I want to see how you develop others. My only personal gripe was why the main event wasn't the iiW Heavyweight title match, as that seemed to have the better ratings then the Lethal/Lopez match. Either way, it's all good. Just one question...

HOW CAN YOU JOB PEZ?!

I've been enjoying this diary so far. RAW was a great show, although it was a bit long for my liking (the matches, mainly). However, that was a really good show that immediately got me interested. Smackdown! was an okay event. There wasn't exactly anything particularly bad about it, I just enjoyed RAW more. Can't wait to see Survivor Series, and how you go about with that.

Oh, and I agree with giving Maven & Gang characters. Should be interesting to see how you continue to handle them.

That was a pretty good show. I have to agree with TheArsenal about putting the iiW Heavyweight championship on an established star being one of your better decisions.

I'd like to see how you continue to develop the characters that people may not know about. It's very interesting to see how you build up these characters and how you get your readers to either love them or hate them.

On a unrelated note, have you roleplayed for e-feds before? Because judging from your writing, it seems like you have.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next show, to see how you handle that as well. Keep up the good job.

Very interesting concept. I'm looking foward to seeing how you get us in-depth looks on each character within your first show. This is highly original, and diaries with a lot of originality are worth reading in my books.

I can tell just from reading the backstory that you're an awesome writer. Though I have not read your previous work, I'm sure that you can live up to the reputation you have built thus far.

I loved the backstory. Everything was in great detail, and it instantly got me hooked. Although I haven't read many diaries here yet, this is the one that immediately got me hooked as a reader. I can't wait to see how your first show turns out.

I'm enjoying this.

I like the way you've handled yourself in all this, but that's not what's important. What's important is the diary, and nothing else.

Now, let's start with the backstory. It was decent stuff, and it was surprising to see the nWo invading Smackdown!. I didn't quite see that coming as I was reading it. I just expected for you to do what quite a bit of people do in their diaries, and immediately insert themselves into it. That was a good move not to. While I'm not quite sure of why you brought Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell back, it was interesting nonetheless.

The first show was pretty good in my opinion. I don't really think that matches matter that much either, but I can understand why some people think they do. However, if you want to write your matches that way, then so be it.

Now, onto the one negative. I absolutely hate the idea of Lex Luger being a cruiserweight. Sorry, I just can't picture it. But, before I judge, I'll wait to see where you go with it, although I probably won't like the direction of it.

I enjoyed reading your promos. Maybe there was just a bit TOO much nWo for the first debut show, but it got the point across quite well.

You have a good thing going here, and shouldn't let other readers discourage you from writing it. I will definently be coming back and reading this, as I've found it entertaining and well worthy of my time. Goodluck.

Nash could have sold better. But if he avoided getting injured, consider this match a success.

LOL. That was a good way to get that over, instead of using EWR's version of it.