Ian Holloway Quotes

[TheArsenal]

Below is the finest collection of quotes from the David Brent of English football himself, QPR manager Ian Holloway.

Ian Holloway after QPR win 3-0 against Chesterfield:-

"To put it in gentleman’s terms: if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird, but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't the best looking lady we ended up taking home, but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee."

Ian Holloway on QPR's financial difficulties:-

'It's like the film Men in Black. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt and black tie where I've had to flash my white light every now and again to erase some memories, but I feel we've got hold of the galaxy now... it's in our hands.''

Ian Holloway on life and philosophy:-

".....My day didn't start very well.....the Holloway household had to have our dog put down unfortunately, but that's life. I've just said to the lads: 'You're born and you die on a date. You've got to work on the dash in the middle'....."

Ian Holloway on the where QPR will finish this season:-

".....I can't see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays, but I ended up going to Lyme Regis....."

Ian Holloway on fans that boo his team:-

"Most of our fans get behind us and are fantastic. But those who don't should shut the hell up or they can come round to my house and I will fight them"

Ian Holloway on staying out in front:-

"If you can keep your noses in front at the end, that's what counts. It's been said that I have a bit of a Roman nose and I am keeping it ahead at the moment. Hopefully it's all about the length of your hooter because I might be in front at the end of the season as well!"

Ian Holloway on his defence:-

"We need a big, ugly defender. If we had one of them we'd have dealt with County's first goal by taking out the ball, the player and the first three rows of seats in the stands."

Ian Holloway after QPR beat Hartlepool 4-1:-

"I've had a week from hell, I'm trying to learn how to relax. I'm now going to enjoy this, take my brain out and stick it in an ice bucket"

Ian Holloway on strikers?? Or maybe pulling??:-

“You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.”

Ian Holloway, upset at not getting a penalty:-

"I have never seen such a stonewall kick in all my life. Even my wife in St Albans could see that it was a penalty!"

Ian Holloway on his QPR future:-

"Each manager is on the back of a horse and I wouldn't want to be on any other horse for the ride."

Ian Holloway on......who knows??:-

"You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad."

[Jook]

Ian Holloway kicks arse. He was hilarious on Soccer AM the other week.

[Colly]

Absolute legend. I heard the first one on footie focus and was pissing myself.

[Darloboy]

Lol, Ian Holloway rocks.

"Most of our fans get behind us and are fantastic. But those who don't should shut the hell up or they can come round to my house and I will fight them"

For some reason I find that highly amusing.

[Johnny Drama]

what a legend.

[Guest OnlyOneKeano]

good but hes no Strachan

[Guest I Bleed Red]

good but hes no Strachan

←

agreed. After reading the Stracham quotes, nothing in this one compares to even the worst quote from G. S

[Timmoru Suzuki]

Ian Holloway after QPR win 3-0 against Chesterfield:-

"To put it in gentleman’s terms: if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird, but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't the best looking lady we ended up taking home, but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee."

I remember laughing a lot at that too. The guy is classic! I agree he ain't in Strachan's league though.

Edited May 12, 2004 by timmayy

[MDK]

Yeah, Strachan does come up with the best quotes. Altho Bobby Robson does drop some clangers, so I like his as well. 'Where else can you find a player with a left foot and a head?' - On Gary Speed

[Darloboy]

Kevin Keegan is the king of clangers, for the record.

[Guest OnlyOneKeano]

Kevin Keegans "Id Love It" Was the best interview EVER

[TheArsenal]

Holloway isn't King, but he is the David Brent of Football.

I seriously could see Ricky Gervais writing this stuff for him.

[Whisper]

Yeah, Strachan does come up with the best quotes. Altho Bobby Robson does drop some clangers, so I like his as well. 'Where else can you find a player with a left foot and a head?' - On Gary Speed

Heh. THat along with...

"Andy's got a horrendous nose, it's unfortunate for the lad." - On Andy O'Brien after breaking his nose.

[Colly]

And Bobby's gift for exaggeration. 'Gary Speeds jumped fifteen feet to get that ball', 'Alans broken his neck to make that header'.