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Gig Review

Turbo Yannis

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I’m bored as fuck, can’t sleep and need something to do so I’ve decided to write a gig review. Namely the Kerrang! Tour with Aiden, Still Remains, Hawthorne Heights and Bullet for my Valentine.

Get to Glasgow at about 6:15 after the hour drive from Perth. On the way through I felt quite happy with myself sitting with a girl and my best mate (who we all think is a tad gay). I pop up with “I take great satisfaction knowing that I’m the only one in this car that’s never sucked anyone off” and feel proud of myself for the next half an hour. After a quick stop off at McDonalds, it’s down to the Carling Academy to stand in line for an hour in the freezing cold. We start to hear something coming from inside but just presume it’s the sound check. I start to feel slightly disturbed when the two people I’m with make a “date” to gets to fuckin’ next Thursday. That was roughly when the sucking off joke proudness wore off.

We get into the venue and five minutes later Still Remains come on stage. I love Still Remains but I had to laugh at the fact their vocalist looked the exact double of Robert Smith with the black shirt and black eyeliner. Anyway, they started off with “White Walls” and the place goes fucking nuts. I can’t remember their exact set but it was safe to say that they were absolutely brilliant. Their vocalist says that Hawthorne Heights are next, which raises hopes that the noises we heard coming from inside were actually Aiden, who everyone I know fucking hates.

After about only 10-15 minutes of setting up and such, Hawthorne Heights come on stage. I know that people take the piss out of them, but I couldn’t really care. They’re catchy as fuck and just a bit of fun. They start with “Life On Standby” and follow it up with “Niki FM” which has everyone singing along. Then the absolute result of the night. Their vocalist says “Let’s hear it for Still Remains and Aiden” which confirms that we did actually miss Aiden. Cue “Wahey!” all round. Hawthorne Heights finish with “Ohio Is For Lovers” and confirm my love for them.

Strangely enough, one of the things that really stuck out was how little time it took for all the bands to set up. We only had to wait about 20 minutes for Bullet for my Valentine. Here’s when my night started to get slightly shit. My not exactly gay mate got himself in the pit whilst the girl and me went and stood to the side. Now, that usually happens but we end up moving in closer eventually. Not this time though. She stood there the whole time looking bored as fuck and not saying a word. I couldn’t help but feel slightly stupid when Matt from BFMV shouts “Is everyone having a good time?” that I’m standing at the side with a miserable bitch thinking “Yeah, not bad”.

Bullet for my Valentine themselves were amazing though. They started off with “Her Voice Resides” and moved straight into “Four Words (To Choke Upon)”. We’re constantly reminds that Glasgow has been the loudest crowd on the tour and that he’s not just saying that. Matt keeps on going off stage because his fingertips keep splitting. They finish off with, unsurprisingly, “End” and everyone goes home happy. Especially my mate who caught a bottle. Fucking homo. Oh, and when we stopped off at a garage on the way home he started licking the top of it, thus making me wonder if he really does love the cock.

So, an overall enjoyable night with a few crap parts. Can’t wait for the next gig I go to without that miserable twat. Roll on March 15th, Avenged Sevenfold. So, if anyone else is going to the Kerrang tour, enjoy! (Y)

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That was a very nice review.

My reviews are normally somehting like.

I just went to see _________.

_________ Pwn.

_________ are better than your favorite band

_________ make your favorite band look gay

You wish you were at _________

be jealous

Also tom is a dude.

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