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Eugene runs the WWE!

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A WWE Business Meeting In February

Vince had made his retirement announcement backstage last year, he had his mind set and there was no going back. It would publicly be made at WrestleMania 22. Vince was taking the money and running, Linda was bored, Shane and Stephanie couldn't be bothered. There ya go, that's why they're going.

But. But who would take over? Vince never actually put WWE for sale, so he was going to give it to someone. 'Triple H' was the obvious and straight-out definite choice and everyone got ready for The Game to be running the show.

A meeting was called between Vince and some of his shady businessmen to finally discuss the future of WWE.

Vince: "Good morning all, glad you could all make it on time. Now as you all should know by now, my family and I are retiring from wrestling for good. I've not put World Wrestling Entertainment up for sale, but given it to someone who I think is perfect for the job."

Cocky, obese businessman: "You chose Mr. Levesque (Triple H)?"

Vince: "No, no. No he actually turned me down. He said something about games and thrones. I didn't understand what he was saying actually, so I just figured he meant no"

Obligatory, sultry, female businesswoman: "So who's the surprise person you've chosen, Mr. McMahon?"

Vince: "Well he's a special man. He has a wealth of wrestling knowledge and he's also dabbled a bit inside the ring as well. He's also been mentored by a former Commissioner of the WWE, who he's chosen as his assistant for this job, I might add."

Shady businessman #4: "Don't keep us waiting, Mr. McMahon! Who's the new owner?"

Vince: "Alright"

Vince goes to the door and says "You can come in now" to whomever's on the outside. Two business suits come in and there's a stunned silence."

Eugene: "Hello! Hello I'm...I'm Eugene!"

Eugene points to his name badge and gives a thumbs up.

Regal: "And I am William Regal, pleasure to meet you fine people. I will be Mr. Eugene's assistant."

Businessman #2: "Are you serious? Eugene is the owner?"

Regal: "Oh well don't underestimate the lad! As Mr. McMahon took care to point out, he is more than capable of grasping such a fine oppourtunity."

Eugene: "Mr. McMahon...it would be a p...a...erm..priv...privi-ledge."

Regal: "He means 'privilege', Mr. McMahon"

Vince: "Oh it certainly is a privilege, Eugene. And, just for the record, I have no doubt...dammit I believe that you're going to take this company to a new, inspired direction!"

And there you have it.

Eugene will begin running WWE immediately after WrestleMania 22. Extra info will be posted later.


Edited by Oscy
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WrestleMania 22 Recap (Vince's Final Farewell)

IPB Image

Match 1: IPB Image

Vince loves TnA. No, not TNA, T 'n' A. Torrie won, but no-one cared. Vince demanded no-one disturb him during this match and kept his room locked...

Regal had trouble pulling Eugene away from the TV screens.

Match 2: IPB Image

Ugh. Obviously, this wasn't going to be a wrestling match. But at least we saw a little more of Boogeyman wrestling (read: not selling). The match ended when Booker and Sharmell stayed in the ring as Boogeyman stalked outside. Then an extravaganza of worms from the roof plunge onto them like a never-ending waterfall. Worm bath: WrestleMania style! I guess that made it a Boogeyman win.

Vince found it all incredibly funny, Eugene hid behind William's chair.

Match 3: IPB Image

Dare I say it? Mickie was more over than Trish. Is Mickie heel? Is she tweener? Is she misunderstood? Doesn't love make you do crazy things? Or does her being psycho just excite you? Perhaps you just think she's cute?

Either way, she's a damn good addition to the women's division, and the WWE knew that having three long reigning champions, especially when all three are the major gender titles, is a risk. Especially if you're getting 'X-Pac heat' like John Cena or if the belt is an afterthought like the Women's title. Batista was the only one that made it work. Looking at it...he's quite similar to The Rock isn't he...Isn't he?

Trish may be getting in all the big merchandise sales, but a change was needed. Mickie won the belt, and the crowd did cheer...

Eugene likes Mickie. Don't tell Kenny...or Mickie...well...ya never know I suppose, he did bag Christy Hemme...

Match 4: IPB Image

Who says the WWE have gotten predictable?

Guess who dropped their titles today. Win for Carlito and Masters, the NEW tag champs (we're pretending the WWE have a tag division, don't strain yourself).

Match 5: IPB Image

This got a little more build up on the later Smackdowns, but in the end JBL won the title. It was realized that JBL shooting down from 'main eventer' to 'jobber to Matt Hardy' status immediately after Eddie Guerrero's death was a bit too obvious. So JBL gets the win, and maybe this could set Benoit up for a little push...

Match 6: IPB Image

Partly due to too many heels winning the first few matches, the face won this one. 'Cactus Jack' (complete with his music) got his skin ripped open and tacs stuck in his skull, but still won by delivering a double arm DDT to the 2 by 4 wrapped in barbed wire.

Eugene ran around the room celebrating and shouting "Bang bang! Have a nice day!"

Match 7: IPB Image

Undertaker told Angle he'd be back for that title...and he will be, Henry's large frame was put into the casket by the 'Taker.

If Triple H isn't ending his streak, if Ric Flair isn't ending his streak, then Mark Henry isn't ending his streak. There's still some fight left in the Deadman as Daivari saw, helpless to do anything, at WrestleMania.

Match 8: IPB Image

The winner of the Last Chance battle royal held on Smackdown! was won by Lashley, making him the final Smackdown participant in this match.

Lashley and Finlay were too obsessed with each other and their brawling took them out of the running. Matt Hardy, despite being made famous for utilizing ladders with brother Jeff, was there to make up the numbers. It was once again going to be a win-for-RAW finish.

But who got the title shot? He is: Rob. Van. Dam.

And then, there was Vince's final appearence...

Match 9: IPB Image

A stipulation was added on a RAW show as the feud got more and more heated. Vince demanded it. He'd had enough. Either way, he wanted rid of HBK.

The loser must retire.

As Vince got ready, he said his final words to Eugene and Regal, passing on the torch so to speak.

Vince: "Well, this is it. My final match and it's at WrestleMania"

Regal: "That must be quite something, Mr McMahon."

Eugene: "Wow! Your last match at...at WrestleMania!...Like...like Andre the Giant at WrestleMania 6!"

Vince: "Eugene, you know a lot more than I can remember. When this PPV is over, and when I lose my match, you'll be head of WWE"

Regal: "Don't worry Eugene, I'll be there to help you along the way"

Vince left to make his entrance.

If Vince weren't retiring, I'd bet money on him winning this bout. With TNA nipping away at WWE very slowly and controversy seen as a ratings bringer, Vince would've established himself as top dog. But this is the reality, and in this match HBK Sweet Chin Musics a chair Shane's holding into his face, then Vince McMahon gets one himself, landing backwards onto a trashcan, crushing it a little.

HBK would go on top and deliver the diving elbow which would completely crush the trash can, and Vince's hold on the WWE.

Vince was in shock as he was forced out of the arena by security and the crowd go crazy.

Smackdown Main Event: IPB Image

Some people think if a guy wins a 'WrestleMania main event' at the Royal Rumble, it should be the main event, not the lesser out of two main events. Anyway, Orton gets double teamed at first, but Angle takes advantage of his 'tweener' status and turns on Rey to try and get a quick pin. It doesn't work, and it truly becomes a 'three' for all(!) Angle nearly makes Orton tap, the crowd were going wild, desperate to see Orton cry like a baby.

But Rey had to break the hold to keep his chances alive. As Rey dialed 619 on Angle, Randy jumps up whilst Rey is standing on the ropes and delivers an RKO. Orton makes sure he pins Angle to get the win, so that Rey wasn't even involved in the decision.

Randy becomes the new champion.

RAW Main Event: IPB Image

WWE had just pulled it out of their ass. They very nearly had a face who was treated like a heel against a heel who was treated like a face. But the men backstage managed to just make Cena get that few more cheers. The boos were still there, and the crowd did indeed go ballistic anyway when Triple H used his trusty sledgehammer and pinned him to get 'back on his throne' as the confetti rained, but they just pulled it off.

MMMM. I smell a new era...

Edited by Oscy
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The Extra Info, Need To Knows And Getting Ready For Their First Show

- All In Eugene's Limo

A limo pulls away from the Allstate Arena. Inside the limo are the two masterminds...well, one mastermind and Eugene, who will determine the future of WWE.

Eugene: "Wow! Mi...Mister. McMahon has a big limo!"

Regal: "It's your limo now, Eugene. You now have full control of the company."

Eugene: "Wow does the tv have cable??"

Regal: "Eu..no...Eugene, we have important business to take care of. Eugene, let's foc...pu...put the disco ball down Eugene, we can mess around later. Now I know it's not much fun, but we have a little paperwork to take care of."

Eugene: "Ick, paperwork? Awww..."

Regal: "Don't worry Eugene, I'll do most of it. We can think up ideas together. Now I won't bore you with the roster, I'm sure you're well aquainted with some of them already. We'll deal with that sort of thing after Monday Night RAW when we have more time."

William puts the paper containing the names and status of the WWE roster pro-WrestleMania to one side:


Main Event


John Cena


Triple H

Upper Midcard


Big Show


Ric Flair

Rob Van Dam

Shawn Michaels





Chavo Guerrero


Trish Stratus


Shelton Benjamin



Chris Masters


Lower Midcarders



Val Venis


Mickie James


Danny Basham



Lance Cade




Rob Conway

Trevor Murdoch

Tyson Tomko






Johnny Parisi

Matt Striker

Rene Dupree



Momma Benjamin (managing Shelton Benjamin)


Torrie Wilson (managing no-one)


Candice Michelle (managing Victoria)

Lita (managing Edge)



Jerry Lawler (colour-commentator)

Maria (interviewer, random promos for WWE)


Eric Bischoff ('fired', ex-GM of RAW)

Jonathon Coachman (colour-commentator, interviewer)

Tag Teams


Viscera and Venis (Viscera and Val Venis)


Carlito and Chris Masters

Tomko and Snitsky (Tyson Tomko and Snitsky)



The Spirit Squad - Johnny, Kenny, Mikey, Mitchell and Nick


Main Event


Batista (still injured for about a month)

The Undertaker


Kurt Angle


Randy Orton

Upper Midcard


Rey Mysterio


Booker T

Mark Henry (put in a casket at Wrestlemania, so may not appear for a while)



Chris Benoit

Matt Hardy

The Boogeyman

William Regal



Joey Mercury


Johnny Nitro

Road Warrior Animal

Lower Midcarders


Brian Kendrick

Hardcore Holly


Paul London


Scotty 2 Hotty

Super Crazy



Doug Basham

Gregory Helms

Ken Kennedy (injured for a long, long time yet)

Kid Kash

Orlando Jordan





Jamie Noble

Paul Burchill (arrr!)



Palmer Canon

Steven Richards


Mike Shane

Todd Shane




Kristal (not sure whether she'll be regularly wrestling or sticking to interviewing)

Stacy Keibler (managing no-one)


Daivari (managing Mark Henry)

Jillian Hall (managing JBL)

Melina (managing MNM)

Sharmell (managing Booker T)

Simon Dean (managing Gymini)



Al Snow

Theodore (Teddy) Long ('GM' of Smackdown)

Tag Teams


London and Kendrick (Paul London and Brian Kendrick)

The Mexicools (Super Crazy and Psychosis)


MNM (Joey Mercury and Johnny Nitro)

Nunzio and Vito

The Gymini (Mike and Todd Shane)



The Gymini - Mike Shane, Simon Dean (leader and mouthpiece) and Todd Shane

MNM - Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro and Melina (leader and mouthpiece)


Main Event


Hulk Hogan

Lower Midcarders


Chuck Palumbo



Paul Heyman (managing no-one)



Dusty Rhodes

Eugene (WWE owner!)

Matt Cappotelli (ill)

Mick Foley

Steve Austin

Tag Teams


Eugene and Regal (Eugene and William Regal)

Edited by Oscy
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Meet Your New Owner

April 3, 2006

What does the future hold for the WWE now? That was the question asked when Shawn Michaels did the impossible and the unthinkable at WrestleMania 22 - He made Vincent Kennedy McMahon, the owner of WWE, retire. If that wasn't enough, the added stipulation meant owners-in-waiting Shane McMahon and Stephanie McMahon were now 'ordinary people', never to be seen in wrestling again.

Tonight, we find out who is the new owner of World Wrestling Entertainment. Vince and Shawn were required to agree on a candidate before their match, but who is it? Tune in to Monday Night RAW to find out.

Also at WrestleMania, the self-proclaimed 'King of Kings' went back on his throne. Triple H gave John Cena a concussion due to the sledgehammer shot that won The Game his title. Triple H will be on the show, Cena, due to the injury, will not. What message will Triple H have for the challengers to his belt? Perhaps to Rob Van Dam, winner at WrestleMania of the Money In The Bank Ladder Match, giving him a title shot whenever he wants in the next 12 months?

And, winners of their match against Kane and Big Show at Wrestlemania, making them the new Tag Team champions, Carlito and Chris Masters will be proving themselves as they defend against Tyson Tomko and Snitsky. Will Masters and Carlito lose their titles only 24 hours after winning them at the biggest stage of them all?

Find out the answers to all the burning questions Monday night at 9/8 CT on the USA Network.

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Hmm interesting concept. Regal will probably run teh show though. May I sugest all number one contenderships are fought under musical chair rules?LOL

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Monday Night RAW - 04/03/06

The public have already started coming into the arena and Eugene is feeling some nerves.

Regal tries calming him as he helps Eugene with his suit.

Regal: "Now there's nothing to worry about Eugene, you'll do fine."

Eugene: "Did...did the guys like my ideas?"

Regal: "...It doesn't matter Eugene, as owner all ideas go through you. If you like them, then that's all that matters."

Eugene: "I think the fans will like it. Eugene does it for the fans!"

Regal: "That's right Eugene, you are a good boy. But don't be nervous, you have a couple of big announcements to make tonight. Just remember that the fans love you and I'm just backstage."

Nearly all the fans are in their seats and Jerry Lawler makes his entrance and sits at the announce table. Then Jim Ross is announced and the crowd go wild! JR acts professional and simply waves to the fans before going back to where many felt he belonged: the RAW announce table.

Then the show began, with a slight touch of Eugene.

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A Night Of Surprises

April 3, 2006

The show begins with a recap of the WrestleMania main event where Triple H won with the help of his trusty sledgehammer.

Cue Triple H's intro as he starts off RAW with something to say, the crowd giving a mixed reaction as he puts a little extra effort in his poses with his new belt.

Triple H: "The King of Kings is finally back on his throne!"

Boos begin.

Triple H: "Now as I'm talking right now, John Cena is at home nursing a 'concussion'."

(JR: "Yeah from that damn sledgehammer shot, he screwed Cena out of the win.")

Triple H: "He couldn't handle The Game, he thought he could beat me...the people in the back, right now they're thinking they can beat me. Well let me tell you something, you can try all you want, but I'm never losing this title again. This belt is my life, this ring is my world, this-"

Rob Van Dam's intro starts and the crowd cheer the new Mr. Money In The Bank as RVD makes his way to the ring.

(JR: "Things have heated up here, King! Rob Van Dam has in that briefcase an eligible title shot, meaning he can challenge for that title whenever he wants within the next 12 months."

King: "Yeah but he can only do it once. Personally I'd wait until Triple H loses his title, if that ever happens!")

RVD: "Hey man, this ring may be your world, but I'm the Whole Damn Sh-"

Triple H: "Now you listen 'Rob. Van. Dam.', just because you're carrying that little briefcase around doesn't mean that you're automatically a champion-in-waiting. To get this belt, you'll have to get through The Game. I've beaten the best in the business, I am the best in the business"

RVD: "Woah! So you're saying you beat yourself?!"

(King: "Agh!")

The crowd laugh and Triple H stomps around furiously as an RVD chant starts.

RVD: "Seriously though, you act like you're the 'King of Kings' and everything, but you make it hard for yourself. Dude, you've got no friends, no fans...no balls."

Triple H has enough of RVD's mocking and gets in his face.

Triple H: "You're think you're funny RVD?? You think you're the man?? Well if you think you're so popular, how about we have a tag match tonight. I'll get myself a partner, you get yourself one, and then I can show you that you're nothing!!"

RVD: "Nothing?...No, you got that wrong. I'm not nothing, I'm (thumbs in the air and points as the crowd say along) Rob. Van. Dam."

RVD's music plays and he rolls out of the ring, Triple shouting smack.

(JR: "A tag team match between Rob Van Dam and The Game tonight!"

King: "Wait a minute, so is he cashing in his 'Money In The Bank' already?"

JR: "I'm not sure, King. But RVD is theoretically the number one contender to Triple H's belt, his 'life'. There's bound to be some animosity between the two")


World Tag Team title match

Carlito and Chris Masters © V Tomko and Snitsky

Both teams make their entrances and then Shawn Michael's music starts!

Both teams look to the ramp in confusion then Lillian continues on her mic:

Lillian: "The following contest is a Capture The Midget match for the World Tag Team titles!"

(King: "What the hell?? Oh my gosh, look JR!")

A mini HBK comes out and starts doing the poses and pyro as Snitsky and Masters look at each other in disbelief, then suddenly run out of the ring after the HBK midget, both teams give chase and disappear up the ramp.


The shot changes to backstage as Shelton and Momma are in their locker room, Momma seemingly in the middle of one of her long-winded rants.

Shelton: "Momma..."

Momma: "Don't you Momma me, young man. You had that Money In The Bank ladder match won. You better believe you're not gonna hear the end of this from me. mmm-mmm, you ruined your big chance."

Shelton: "Momma, please...can I get a drink?"

Momma: "...Alrigh'...You know I'm only saying this for your own good, don't you? You know Momma loves you."

Shelton: "Yeah I know, I'll be right back Momma."

Shelton leaves.

Momma: "(tuts) Boy gotta learn, he's gonna be one of the biggest champions in history...mmmhm Benjamin gonna be big..."

Trevor Murdoch slides into view behind Momma.

Trevor: "That is a mighty fine specimen of a woman."

Momma: "WHA-What the hell you doin' here?! Don't choo be sneakin' up on me like that!"

Trevor: "Now that your boy's gone...how about we get a little closer?..."

Momma: "Excuuuuse me? I don't want none-a you! SHELTOOOON! SHELTON!!"

Trevor: "Oh come on, it's just you and me baby. Mmmhm, mighty fine a woman you are."

Shelton comes running in.

Shelton: "What the hell you doin' to my momma?"

Trevor: "Er...well-"

Shelton: "Ain't nobody gonna be messin' wit' my momma! I'm gonna teach you a lesson...in the ring!"

Trevor: "Now hold on, I ain't goin' in the ring for no reason. How about you put something of yours thar on the line."

Shelton looks at his Intercontinental belt.

Shelton: "Nah, you ain't getting a title shot. You don't deserve that."

Trevor: "I weren't talking about yer belt. I was talking about a Momma-on-the-line match."

The crowd cheer.

Trevor: "If I win, I Get your momma for the night."

Shelton looks at momma surprised then back to Murdoch.

Shelton: "Er-Er-Fine! I'm gonna show you what happens when you mess with The Benjamins."

Trevor: "Meet ya in the ring then...Nice seein' ya Mrs. Benjamin, I hope to see more of ya...a-heh-heh..."

Murdoch walks off, then there's a loud bang and the midget zips into the locker room onto one of the chairs, Tomko charges in and the midget jumps aside, sending Tyson falling into the chair and a locker.

He runs through Chris Masters' legs and both men gives chase out of shot again, Carlito can be heard yelling something incoherently in Spanish.


Big Show V Spirit Squad

The Spirit Squad jump on Big Show as he gets in the ring, but Show still dominates, big booting Mitchell and Mikey out of the ring, then throwing Johnny on top of them. Nick charges at Show but gets grabbed by the throat. Kenny tries the same but gets grabbed also. DOUBLE CHOKESLAM! Shows covers both at the same time and gets the win.


Edge has Lita on his lap backstage and they're both being dirty, until there's a knock on the door. Triple H comes in and Edge immediately gets Lita off and stands up. Triple H holds up his title.

Triple H: "I know you want this title. So here's the deal: You be my partner in the tag team match tonight, against Rob Van Dam and his chump. If we win, you get a title shot at Backlash."

Edge looks surprised.

Edge: "Er...sure man. And if we win, I get a shot?"

Triple H: "If you prove yourself, don't try and pull anything and don't be stupid, then yeah, you'll get a shot at my title."

Edge: "You've got yourself a partner."

Triple H leaves and Edge grins at Lita.


The shot changes to backstage as Carlito and Chris Masters are searching around for the HBK midget, Carlito uttering something in Spanish in frustration.

They go into the men's toilets continuing their search, banging open all the cubicles, but one's locked.

A deep voice can be heard singing: "My darlin' I...can't get enough of...your love baaAAAABE ahhh phew, that was a biiiiig one heh-heh, oh man".

Carlito and Masters look at each other disgusted. The toilet flushes and out steps Viscera looking pleased with himself, then sees he has an audience. He stares at Carlito.

Carlito: "...That...(shudders)...that is not cool..."

Carlito and Masters leave quickly.


Momma-on-the-line match

Trevor Murdoch V Shelton Benjamin w/ Momma

Momma accompanies Shelton to the ring. Shelton starts off well with a few clotheslines in a row, then whipping Murdoch into the corner but missing a running splash. Shelton rests on the turnbuckle and Murdoch tries it himself, splashing into Shelton, then licking his finger and pressing it on his butt cheek, winking at Momma.

Shelton gets momentum back by getting out of a back suplex and delivering a dropkick to Murdoch's back, but only getting a 2 count. Benjamin goes on top and hits a flipping neckbreaker, but again only gets two. He whips Murdoch into the ropes but Trevor drives a knee into Benjamin and winds him.

Murdoch reaches into his tights and puts on some brass knucks! Momma sees this and gets on the ring apron and rants at Trevor. Murdoch grabs her and lands a big, sloppy kiss. UGH!

Shelton breaks it up by spinning Trevor around and hitting the T-Bone suplex, getting the pinfall.

Shelton tends to his momma.


After a commercial break, Mickie James comes to the ring with her Women's title ecstatically, lifting it up for all the crowd to see.

Mickie: "Oh my God you guys...guess who's the new Women's CHAMPIONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!"

She gets up on a turnbuckle and shows it off again to a good reaction.

Mickie: "I beat Trish Stratus, my...former...idol, at WrestleMania, for the Women's Title!! She broke my heart, but she got what she deserved! From now on it's going to be all about me. I don't care about anyone else now, I'm not gonna be anyone's lackey!"

The crowd chirp up as Ashley comes down to the ring, but Mickie doesn't see her. She grabs Mickie's belt, causing her to turn around surprised, and whacks the champion face first with the belt!

Ashley's intro plays and she drops the belt on Mickie, saying something to her.

(JR: "It looks like Ashley has a little problem with Mickie, and I don't blame her quite frankly. She put her through quite the ordeal."

King: "But in the end, Mickie won the Women's title! It worked out for her, and if Ashley doesn't watch herself, she might get what some of Trish got. Although I wouldn't mind seeing that!")


The midget is seen again scampering around in some sort of machinery area. Shouting can be heard and he scampers up a metal fence, trying to keep out of reach.

Masters and Carlito run to where he is.

Carlito: "We see you, get down here!"

Chris Masters starts climbing but Tomko and Snitsky rush in and a brawl starts. Tomko throws Carlito into some barrels and climbs the fence himself as Masters gets punched down by Snitsky.

Tomko tells Snitsky to get ready as he shakes at the fence and tries wobbling the midget off. Masters jumps Snitsky from behind just as the midget jumps and The Masterpiece grabs the mini-HBK, Masters celebrates and high-fives Carlito, then leaves out of shot with the midget in his arms.

Tomko drops off the fence and looks at Snitsky, Snitsky puts his arms out sort of shrugging. Tyson puts his hands on his hips, huffs and shakes his head.

Snitsky points at him.

Snitsky: "It's not my fault!"

And storms off.


Triple H and Edge w/ Lita V Rob Van Dam and Kane

Edge doesn't look so cocky as Kane's pyro explodes and The Big Red Monster comes down to the ring, Lita stays away.

Edge and Rob Van Dam start. RVD overwhelms Edge at first with his kicks and flips, but Edge slows him down with a big back body drop. He puts the kicks to RVD before tagging to Triple H. He holds RVD up so The Game can take a few shots.

HHH whips RVD into the ropes and hits him with a knee to the face, then bounces himself off and lands a kneedrop to the face again. He goes up top as RVD gets up, and jumps for a flying double sledge hammer, but RVD kicks him in the gut to take him down. RVD tags to Kane and Kane controls Triple H with chops and throat thrusts, he whips him into the ropes and lands a big boot. Edge distracts Kane and Triple H tries a quick roll up but only gets 2. He stumbles to Edge and makes the tag.

Edge quickly gets in and charges and SPEARS Kane! He makes the cover: 1-2-no! Kane kicked out. Edge gets ready for another spear, but RVD goes on top, which distracts Edge. Kane quickly hits a big boot then tags RVD. RVD does the 'Rob. Van. Dam' thumb point and jumps, but Edge rolls out of the way and RVD misses the Five Star Frog Splash. Edge gets up and makes the cover, but Kane breaks it up. Triple H comes out and they trade punches. RVD kicks at Edge, but Edge ducks the last kick and hits the Edgecution! He makes the cover, and puts his legs on the ropes!: 1-2-3!

Edge and Triple H win, the two double team Kane who receives a Pedigree and he gets stomped out of the ring. RVD gets thrown out as well. Edge says something to Triple H and then HBK's music starts!

This time it's the real Shawn Michaels making his way to the ring.

HBK: "Woah woah woah, hold on. There's still one more matter that hasn't been resolved. Who the new WWE chairman is. Now don't worry 'H, it's not me. But I'm here to tell you who it is."

The crowd cheer.

HBK: "Now this man has all the credentials. He's got the knowledge, the passion and he's got the wrestling skills to back it up if necessary. I won't delay it any longer. Boss, come on out!"

There's silence for a few seconds until...Eugene's intro starts!

(JR: "What the hell is this?? Eugene is our new boss? Eugene owns the WWE?!"

King: "I hope this is a joke JR! Eugene??")

Eugene gets in the ring and waves then gets given the mic, HBK puts his arm around him looking at Triple H with a smile.

Eugene: "Hello, I'm...your new boss!!"

The crowd cheer loudly.

Eugene: "Now I've got some a...announcements to make! Tonight there'll be a lottery...to decide the draft! My...my favourite number is 7, so there'll be seven superstars moving from RAW to Smackdown and Smackdown to RAW!!"

The crowd cheer some more and Triple H and Edge are just frozen in shock.

HBK: "And the results will be on WWE.com, Eugene?"

Eugene: "Yeah! The lottery results will be on dub-dub-E.com!"

(JR: "My gosh this is quite an announcement, the draft is being made right after this show!"

King: "Hey that's actually not so bad, JR!")

Eugene: "And also, Triple H, you're the WWE RAW Champion. So I got you a number one contender! Next week you'll see him!"

Triple H can be heard asking who he signed.

Eugene: "I signed a LEGEND! HULK HOGAN!!"

The crowd go crazy and Triple H kicks the ropes and Edge argues, but Eugene and HBK are already getting out of the ring to Hogan's theme of Real American and making their way up the ramp, Eugene waving to all the fans.

(JR: "Hulkamania is back?!"

King: "I can't believe it! This is crazy, JR!"

JR: "Bah gawd, I can only IMAGINE what next week's RAW will be like!!")


World Tag Team Champions Carlito and Chris Masters def. Tomko and Snitsky to retain (CApture the Midget match)

Big Show def. The Spirit Squad

Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin def Trevor Murdoch (non-title, Momma-on-the-line match)

Edge and WWE Champion Triple H def. Rob Van Dam and Kane

Edited by Oscy
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Results of WWE draft 2006 lottery are up

April 04, 2006

The results of the annual WWE roster draft are up. Decided by lottery, seven (7) superstars will now move from Monday night RAW to Friday night Smackdown, and seven superstars will move from Friday night Smackdown to Monday night RAW. The results are:

From Smackdown! to RAW

1. Booker T

2. Chris Benoit

3. Daivari

4. Lashley

5. Road Warrior Animal

6. Stacy Keibler

7. Steven Richards

Due to a contract clause, Booker T's manager Sharmell will also be joining him to RAW.

From RAW to Smackdown!

1. Big Show

2. Chavo Guerrero

3. Danny Basham

4. Lance Cade

5. Matt Striker

6. Ric flair

7. Torrie Wilson

These take place with immediate effect.

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A new champ

April 7, 2006

At WrestleMania 22, Randy Orton defeated then champ Kurt Angle and Royal Rumble winner Rey Mysterio to become the new World Heavyweight Champion. But now the dust has settled, who will challenge the Legend Killer for his first title defense?

Also at WrestleMania, JBL pinned Chris Benoit to become the new United States Champion. Now that Chris Benoit and former US champ Booker T have been drafted back to RAW, the challenge is also wide open for anyone to take the oppourtunity.

New WWE owner Eugene, and former World Champion Batista will also be in attendence.

With all these elements combining, be sure to find out what the explosive results will be on Friday night at 8/7 CT on UPN.

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Friday Night Smackdown! - 04/07/06

Eugene: "Look, I got a...name badge now!"

Eugene points at his name badge.

Regal: "Yes that's very nice, Eugene. Now, we'll be promoting you a little tonight."

Eugene: "Will...will there be loads of legends??"

Regal: "Ah, about that, we've currently got a few people out there checking up on some of the names you've given them. But the trick is to bring them in slowly..."

Eugene: "But...but we...should have the legends now!"

Regal: "Be patient, Eugene. Good things come to those who wait. To get the most ratings ,and to get the fans most excited, we have to keep them coming back for more. We can't make the moment too special, otherwise they'll be disappointed next time."

Eugene: "..."

Regal: "Did you understand, Eugene?"

Eugene: "Er...yeah! So..er...what are we doing for...now?"

Regal: "Well we are looking at some of those 'legends', but we've just brought back Hulk Hogan, not to mention Mean Gene and The Brain on commentary. So for the meantime we're working with what we've got. You have to 'push' some people, there are legends still here wrestling, Ric Flair for example."

Eugene: "Yeah! Eugene is gonna push...but...who should I push...?"

Regal: "Have a think about it Eugene, there's no real rush for now."

Eugene: "Oh I know, I've...I've got a couple I wanna push!..."

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The Champ between a rock and a hard place

April 7, 2006

Smackdown starts off with Randy Orton, plus extra pyro and confetti for the special occasion, coming to the ring with his World Heavyweight belt.

After he's done posing his ass off, he takes the mic among loud boos.

Randy: "Hey hey hey...ok...oh ok, it's gonna be like that is it?"

The crowd keep booing and Randy looks at an imaginary watch waiting for them to stop. But the crowd change to a 'Randy sucks' chant.

Randy: "If I suck so much, why am I World champ huh? The best on Smackdown?...Ok, it looks like you're gonna take a little convincing, so let me show you all what happened at WrestleMania. Roll the tape."

The end of the triple threat match shows up on the 'tron, where Rey 619's Angle and gets on the top rope only to be RKO'd from up high, and then Randy purposefully covering Kurt to win.

Randy: "Oh that...that's just beautiful. That right there shows to all of you, that I'm the best on Smackdown, and really I'm the best in WWE. And so much for Rey, huh? Guy wasn't even involved in the decision! I proved, not that I had to or anything, that I can beat anyone. Kurt Angle, Mysterio, Undertaker, hell I've even been on the other show and beaten Triple H, and seeing as he's RAW's champ...that must make me the undisputed champion."

The crowd are still booing loudly.

(Tazz: "Er, I think he's forgetting that time when Triple H beat his ass, Cole!"

Cole: "I think he's got a bit of a selective memory.")

Batista's intro starts!

'Tista comes down in a suit, pausing to do his pyro dance, then continuing on to the ring, looking in pretty good shape. The music dies down.

Randy: "Oh here we go, it's the Animal huh?"

Batista: "Randy...shut up a second."

Batista puts his hand to Orton's face and Randy's surprised that he's not giving him attention.

Batista: "I'm sure you're all hoping I've recovered now and I'm about to kick this guy's ass. Well I'm afraid not. Not yet. But in a couple of weeks..."

Batista turns, points to Randy and faces him.

Batista: "Randy, I'll be coming for that title."

The crowd cheer and Randy shakes his head.

Randy: "You know wh-"

Batista: "Randy I said shut up a second."

Orton gurns and holds his hands up, then counts one second on his hand.

Batista: "Yeah well it's a long second. You can parade around with my belt for the meanwhile, but by Judgment Day, you're going to have stop me from taking it back. And to be honest with you, I don't think you can."

Randy says something, amateur lip-readers will be able to tell he said 'Judgment Day?'.

Batista: "That's right, I guess you forgot that I said whoever would be holding that title at the end of WrestleMania had better know that I'll be coming for it. Well Randy, the match is booked, and I'm confirming it. Make the most of your two months, because The Animal..."

Batista takes off his sunglasses and looks right at Randy.

"...is about to be unleashed."

The crowd cheer, Randy doesn't seem to bothered, just raising his eyebrows and shrugging his shoulders in an 'Oh, ok then' kind of way. Batista says something more to Randy and Randy starts chatting back, before things get too heated Teddy Long comes out.

Teddy: "Randy Orton, first allow me to congratulate on your title win. Whether I agree with your methods or not, you won it cleanly at WrestleMania playa, and that's good to see. But as 'Tista said, you'll be defending that there title against him at Judgment Day. That's confirmed, that's final. But I also have another li'l announcement to make. It seems we have a little unfinished business, playa."

Randy looks interested.

Teddy: "But don't ya worry yaself, I put you in a non-title match tonight to settle it. So get yourself ready."

Teddy doesn't say anymore and leaves, Batista gets out of the ring. Randy doesn't know what to think, so he just strokes his title.


Funaki V Nunzio

Funaki makes his entrance then picks up a mic.

Funaki: "Before I start my match. Against Nunzio. Your number 1 Smackdown. Announcer. Has something to say. Gregg-ry Helms still has broken nose. You see the pictures? AHAHAHAHA! Seriously now. Funaki is going...To take advantage! I sit and thought: "I am Number 1 Smackdown Announcer, I should be Number 1 Smackdown Cruiserweight Champ-yon". So starting tonight, Funaki is going to the top. Again! Funaki will be champ-yon. Again!"

He puts the mic away and Nunzio enters.

They both have a quick match, Funaki frustrates Nunzio with arm locks. Nunzio fights back with some strikes and dropkicks, but Funaki keeps relentlessly flipping him over and doing holds. He quickly jumps into the turnbuckle and bounces off hitting a modified Rising Sun and wins a quick, fast paced match! Funaki holds up his finger shouting "Numbah one!".


Krystal has a special interview with newly drafted Ric Flair.

Krystal: "Ric Flair, how does it feel to be on Smackdown?"

Ric: "You know what Krystal? It's awesome. I've left a lot behind on RAW, but I'm starting afresh RIGHT HERE on Smackdown. New wrestlers, new oppourtunities...(looks up and down Krystal)...and er...*raises eyebrows twice* new women. But let me tell you somethin', there's ONE Smackdown star who the Nature Boy is pleased with: Gregory Helms."

The crowd boo.

Ric: "You probably won't remember, but a while ago when he was 'The Hurricane', he asked ME to sign HIS BOOK, well MY book, and I told him straight. I told him he was risking his career with this superhero crap. Since he dropped it and became Gregory Helms, within a couple of months he already got the gold. The Cruiserweight Championship! And it's always good to see your advice be taken aboard, and it just shows that Flair knows best."

Ric: "But Krystal, tonight, I've got a match against Paul London, the man who BROKE Helms' NOSE. But let me tell ya, he ain't gonna be breakin' the Nature Boy's nose! London, he's a fast guy, he's got wrestling skills. But I'll tell ya now, no disrespect to Helms, but when THE NATURE BOY walks down THAT aisle, it's a whole different ball game. Tonight, for the FIRST time on Smackdown, Ric Flair is gonna make Paul London cry for momma! WOOO!"

Ric walks off of camera, then his head pops back in shot and he "WOOO!"s at Krystal before leaving again.


The shot changes to WWE owner Eugene playing around with his name badge, then Finlay comes bursting in.

Finlay: "WHY haven't I got a match ta-nite?"

Eugene: "Er...erm..."

Finlay: "What? WHAT? I came all the way down here, I came here to FITE, and I'm not even in a match?! I'm not here for nothin'! Well I'm here to fite, so I MAY AS WELL FITE YOU!"

Eugene backs away from the advancing Finlay until Regal jumps in to a big cheer.

Regal: "What the bloody hell are you playing at?? What are you doing to Eugene??"

Finlay: "You've nothing to do with this!"

Regal: "I'll have you know that I'm Eugene's hand-picked assistant."

Eugene: "He...he came to fight..."

Regal: "Oh is that right? Well you can bugger off and we can settle this in the ring. You want to fight, well you've got me as your opponent, what do you say to that?"

Finlay: "About bloody time!"

Finlay walks off and Regal checks on Eugene.


Super Crazy V Danny Basham

Super Crazy overwhelms ex-RAW man Danny Basham at the start, he's just too fast for him. Danny tries hitting him but he keeps ducking and diving out of the way. Danny manages to throw Super out of the ring. The ref starts counting as Danny catches his breath, then Doug Basham comes running to the ring! He grabs Danny and throws him out. Super Crazy comes in to attack but Doug takes control.

(Tazz: "Wa-wait a minute, this match is still goin'?!"

Cole: "The referee hasn't noticed!"

Tazz: "What the hell iz 'is Cole??")

The two Bashams almost comedically take turns fighting Super Crazy, the one not fighting staying out of sight. The torture eventually ends for Super Crazy when his real opponent Danny hits the Brain Damage and gets the pin. The two double team Crazy then raise their arms in victory.


The returning Big Show is shown walking backstage, he goes to a door but Mark Henry is standing there.

Show: "Er, 'scuse me, I wanna get in"

Henry doesn't say anything.

Show: "I said, excuse me, will you get out of the way?..."

Henry looks up.

Henry: "So you come here thinking you're the big man, telling people what to do huh?"

Show: "What? What makes you think you're anything special? All you've done since you've made a comeback for the 100th time is lose your big matches. Now you're looking at a former WWE champion, one half of the biggest tag team champions to ever hold the titles on RAW, I've even main evented WretleMania. Now, you're in the way. Are you going to move?"

Henry: "I wasn't scared of the Undertaker, don't you think any different. I got put in a casket, fine. Doesn't bother me."

Show: "...I didn't say anything about Undertaker, just get out of the way."

Henry: "Fine, I'll get out of your way."

He gets in the face (well chest) of Big Show.

Henry: "But I might have to teach you a little respect some time."

Mark walks off. Big Show raises his eyebrow and shakes his head, then walks into the locker room.


Paul London V Ric Flair

Ric Flair makes his entrance to cheers. London's speed suprises Flair and London has the advantage, but he risks a top rope splash and misses, allowing Ric to start his slow, leg stomping game. This slows London down whenever he gets the advantage, and Flair continues on the legs with chop blocks and using the ropes for submissions.

Flair gets him in the corner and does some chops, London fights back with a dropkick and Flair falls into the ref, causing the ref to stumble and slowly get himself up. Flair takes advantage and drops to his knees and gives the staggering London a low blow. He collapses, Flair grabs his leg and woos a little before locking in the Figure Four. Paul doesn't tap until Ric holds onto the ropes again. London gives up.


Back to Eugene's office and he's shaking and whining. Teddy comes in and sees Eugene shaking, and helps him.

Teddy: "Hey what's wrong? You ok playa?"

Eugene: "Er...er...err...you...you know Batista is the number one contender?...Well...we got another...number one contender..."

Teddy: "Wha'?"


Finlay V William Regal

Both men grapple each other at first, Finlay whips but Regal shoulder blocks him, then some mat holds are attempted, but Finlay and Regal keep reversing. Finlay hits a hard forearm to the chest, then again. Regal quickly gets a German suplex and covers, Finlay kicks out. Regal covers again, Finlay kicks out again. Regal then locks an armbar onto Finlay. Finlay gets his leg on the ropes. He gets him up and hits a European uppercut, then again, then a double knee to the face, before making two more unsuccessful covers.

Regal whips and Finlay ducks a clothesline, runs back and hits a big forearm knocking Regal down. He gets him in a front facelock, Regal reaches the ropes but Finlay only lets go at the 4 count. Finlay stomps on Regal, who rests on the ropes, allowing Finlay to choke him with his knee. The ref talks to Finlay, Regal gets the brass knucks out of his shorts and onto his hand and rests on the turnbuckle, Finlay charges his shoulder into Regal. He goes again but William moves out of the way and he hits hard into the corner. When Finlay turns around he feels the Power Of The Punch! William Regal gets the 3 count.


Randy Orton V Chavo Guerrero

Chavo is pumped and the crowd go wild, the two finally get a match due to Chavo being drafted to Smackdown. He wastes no time and attacks Randy, punching wildly. He whips him into the ropes and lifts him up with a big body drop! Chavo gets Randy up and Randy starts punching back, whipping into the ropes and hitting a clothesline. He gets Chavo up and lifts him up and drops with a high DDT. Randy smirks and puts the kicks to Chavo whilst bringing him to his feet, then hits a suplex.

Randy controls for a good while in full control, he has Chavo up on the turnbuckle for a superplex. He lifts Chavo up, but it gets reversed into a super tornado DDT!! The crowd go on their feet as both men are down. They both get up at around 6, Chavo gets a suplex on Randy...then again, then again, the Three Amigos. Chavo impresses again as he takes control and hits a powerbomb.

The match slows down. Randy gets Chavo against the turnbuckle and chokes him causing the ref to count to 4 before it breaks up, Randy pretends Chavo pushes him and elbows the ref down. Randy quickly gets out of the ring and grabs a chair as Chavo is recovering and slides it into the ring. He powerslams Chavo then picks up the chair, telling him to get up. The crowd go crazy seeing Rey Mysterio get on top of a turnbuckle. Orton looks around to see what's happening, he turns around and gets the chair missile dropkicked into his face!

Rey helps Chavo up and they say something. Rey lays the chair onto Randy and points to Chavo who's going on top. He points to the sky and lands the Frog Splash on Randy and the chair, getting hurt in the process! Rey throws the chair out of the ring and Chavo covers. The ref comes to: ...1...2...3! The crowd cheer, Rey and Chavo hug and celebrate before leaving Orton in the ring.

Randy collects himself and looks unhappy, he slaps the mat and gets up slowly. When he's on his feet, his music starts, but then it gets scrambled. A technical problem? Randy looks up and darts his head around as his music completely dies out. Then so do the lights.


The crowd cheer as the arena turns dark blue and smoke fills the ring. Randy darting around looking for The Undertaker. His voice booms around the arena.

Taker: "Raaaaandyyyyy...I said I'd be coming back...coming back...for something you possess...the day will come...when you must face The Undertaker again...and your soul...will be a small price to pay for your World Championship..."

The crowd cheer Undertaker's challenge.

Taker: "Raaaandy...that day...will be your Judgment Day..."


The lights go out again as Undertaker's music starts, coming back up fully at the exact moment the music properly begins, with 'Taker standing right in front of Randy, causing him to jump in shock and dive through the ropes out of the ring.

Smackdown ends with Undertaker glaring at Orton, who can't look away as he crawls backwards up the ramp.


Funaki def. Nunzio

Danny Basham def. Super Crazy

Ric Flair def. Paul London

William Regal def. Finlay

Chavo Guerrero def. World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton (non-title match)

Edited by Oscy
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Hulkamania Returns

April 10, 2006

Last week, Eugene was announced as the new WWE owner. As if that wasn't shocking enough, the new owner then announced that Hulk Hogan was returning this week as number one contender to Triple H's WWE title.

This is not good news for Edge, who had struck a deal with The Game to become number one contender if he won a tag match involving him and Triple H against Mr. Money In The Bank Rob Van Dam and his partner, which Edge subsequently did.

What happens this coming RAW is anyone's guess.

Another announcement made last week was that of the annual lottery draft. Booker T and Chris Benoit are two of the big names coming to RAW. But who will be here this week, and what kind of impact will they have?

Also, last week saw a relatively 'normal' Mickie James jumped by Trish Stratus' friend, Ashley. Has she bitten off more than she can chew, or will she get revenge on Mickie for their past encounters? Or will this spark another ugly feud?

Plus, Snitsky will participate in the Master Lock Challenge. Not only that but if Snitsky can break the hold, he and Tyson Tomko will become World Tag Team champions. It's been around a year since the Master Lock Challenge was started, and it's yet to be broken. Can the big man do it?

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Monday Night RAW - 04/10/06

Regal is pacing around in his and Eugene's hotel room, Monday morning. Eugene's disappeared. Or so it seems, here he comes through the door.

Regal: "Eugene! Where have you been??"

Eugene: "I was...taking care of err...business!"

Regal: "What do you mean?"

Eugene points proudly to himself.

Eugene: "I had a bus...a business meeting!"

William is quite surprised.

Regal: "Oh...well...I am impressed that you managed to get your way there with no trouble, you're certainly grasping this role with both hands. You never told me you were having a business meeting. What was it about?"

Eugene: "Oh...er...I wanted it to be a surprise..."

Regal: "I think it's best you tell me. In this kind of relationship trust is imperative, we need to tell each other everything."

Eugene: "...err...ok then...well...I've changed the name!"

Regal: "What are you talking about? The WWE name??"

Eugene bites his thumb and nods.

Regal: "Do you mean you've changed it back to 'WWF'?"

Eugene shakes his head.

Regal: "Tell me Eugene, what is the WWE called now?..."

Eugene: "...The W...W...E!"

Regal: "Eugene, that's the same name. You haven't changed it at all."

Eugene: "Noooo! No! I have, it's...it's still WWE!"

Regal: "Eugene you're worrying me...do you mean you've changed the 'World Wrestling Entertainment' name?"

Eugene nods reluctantly. Regal breathes deeply.

Regal: "Ok Eugene...what does 'WWE' stand for now? What has 'World Wrestling Entertainment' changed to?..."

Eugene "Err...well I'm the owner of WWE...so...so I decided it should be...World...Wrestling...Eugene!!"

William staggers back and sits down on the bed.

Eugene: "Do you like it??"

Regal thinks before he answers. Vince chose Eugene for a reason, he knew he'd do whacky and crazy things. Things "so crazy that it just might work!©".

Regal: "Eugene...you had better pray this turns out ok...When is it made official?"

Eugenel: "Tomorrow! Tomorrow will be World Wrestling Eugene!!"

Eugene jumps up and down on the bed chanting "World Wrestling Eugene!".

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Hulk Still Rules

April 10, 2006

Raw starts quickly as the Hulkster wastes no time, coming to the ring to a huge ovation. He does the mandatory posing and putting his hand to his ear routine. Then he finally gets on the mic.

Hogan: "Man, let me tell ya brutha...If you told me a year ago that next year I'd be wrestling full time under Eugene, with a shot at the WWE title....I woulda called you all crazy, brutha! But coming out here, and hearing all you Hulkimaniacs..."

The crowd cheer louder than usual.

Hogan: "You Hulkimaniacs, always chanting 'one more match'. Well I'm here to let ya know, Hogan's back, brutha! It wasn't just the prayers, it wasn't just the vitamins, it was the Hulkimaniacs bringing back Hulk Hogan, and more importantly, Hulkamania!"

The crowd cheer and Hogan pumps them up some more, but the mood turns sour when Edge comes out with Lita, staying on top of the ramp.

Edge: "Stop right there, Hogan. Now I know you're gonna be, a little...hard of hearing...in your old age..."

Edge smiles, thinking he's funny.

Edge "...So I'm going to say this clearly so you can get it in your head: Hulkamania is dead!"

The crowd boo.

Edge: "You keep making constant 'retirements' and then, oh look! Hulk's making a comeback! You're just trying to cling onto your youth, when you were popular. Now you're just looking for a cheap way of getting the crowd to cheer to make you feel young again. And if you've forgotten...perhaps you're getting a little senile...I'm the number one contender for the WWE title. Now 'WHATCHA GONNA DOOO'...about that?"

Hogan looks around at the fans as the crowd boo.

Hogan: "Hey man, you must be one dumb son of a ***** if you think Triple H is a man of his word. Let me tell you brutha, Triple H has screwed so many guys over in his career, I wouldn't be surprised if he came outta the closet and asked you out on a date, man!"

The crowd cheer at Hogan's jibe.

Hogan: "And whether you wanna believe it or not, Eugene is the boss, not him. And the boss says I'm the number one contender. And if you don't like it, well you can just kiss my ass, Edge."

(JR: "It seems that Edge has hit a nerve here."

King: "Oh man, does Edge know who he's messing with??")

Edge: "No Hogan, I'd rather kick it. If you're so confident that you're the number one contender, how about you prove it tonight? You and me, in a number one contender match!"

Hogan: "Oh you're on, brutha! But Edge, I gotta ask ya...one more thing...Whatcha gonna do??....Whatcha gonna do???....WHATCHA GONNA DOOO, when Hulk Hogan and his Hulkamaniacs run wild on-a YOU?!"

Hogan drops the mic and poses like crazy around the ring.


Ashley V Candice Michelle

Ashley impressed against Candice, giving her nothing to do in the match but take her moves and kick out of pins, because she never attacked. Ashley got an easy pinfall. But Mickie James came running down to the ring, Ashley not seeing her, much like last week but with roles reversed. Mickie puts all her power into whacking Ashley in the back of the head with her title.

Mickie grabbed a mic.

Mickie: "You see what happens? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS?? When you ATTACK someone for no reason?? You just couldn't leave it alone!! I know what this is now....I know what this is. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! YOU'RE TRISH'S GIRLFRIEND!!!"

(King: "What?? I know I have my fantasies JR, but don't you think she's maybe being paranoid??")

Mickie: "No no no no think about it ok"

Mickie's panting now after all that screaming and shouting.

Mickie: "Ashley and Trish are always hanging out right?? And one minute Trish likes me, then then then ASHLEY stuck her nose in and brainwashed her!! And now they're always hanging out, it's Trish and Ashley, Ashley and Trish. HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID??? You'll PAY!!!! I'm going to make you SUFFER for BRINGING THIS ALL BACK!!"

Mickie throws the mic down and kicks at Ashley, then gets her up and screams as she hits a vicious Mickie DDT.

(King: "Oh my gosh JR, she freaked out!")


Outside we see a limo pulling up to an entrance to the arena. Out steps Booker T, on crotches, and Sharmell. Booker saying something or other (generally a load of "yeah!"s and mentioning his groin injury) as they make their way in. A porter stands by and the camera zooms in. It's Goldust!

He puts out his hand to stop them.

Goldust: "Hello sir, allow me to take your luggage for you."

Booker: "What?? Oh no...you again? I thought you left already. Don't tell me this gold freak is gonna be bugging me for at least a year, baby?"

Sharmell: "You know him?"

Booker: "Man...we were in a tag team together...or somethin' I don't know..."

Goldust: "My sir, that seems a bad injury. I'm a trained masseuse, perhaps you could allow me, it may just be tense."

Booker's eyes pop open.

Booker: "What the hell?? I ain't one of those homo-sapiens man!...You better not be following me around all year!!"

Goldust: "I've decided to be your bodyguard, I have to follow you everywhere."

Booker: "Wha...wh...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON MAN?? Yo-you're a luggage carrier, a masseuse, a bodyguard. You ain't none of these, you're just a gold freak!"

Goldust: "Hmm, you've changed since I last saw you. Surely you remember the name."

Booker: "Yeah, I remember the name, Goldust aight?"

Goldust: "Nooooo, no. It's..."

Goldust breathes in, then spit-bites in the direction of Sharmell's face.

Goldust (in a low voice): "Gooooooldust"

Booker: "I can't believe this, first we get stalked by some Boogeyman, now I'm gonna get stalked by his long-lost, gold, freak brother! I ain't havin' that."

Goldust: "Booker, seriously, what's changed?"

Booker: "Man, I've changed. I was always goofin' around and what did I get for it? Yeah, I won the tag titles, but we were just jokes, man. I ain't even won a WWE title!"

Goldust: "If you think I'm a joke, then...how about we see, in the ring, tonight?..."

Booker: "Nuh-uh, I can't, I re-injured my groin at WrestleMania."

Goldust: "Ah don't worry, Booker-san. Now stay still..."

Goldust starts rubbing his hands together frantically and then goes towards Booker's crotch. Booker jumps back.

Booker: "HEY!! Fine man, you get your freakin' match! Just stay away! I got a wife, I ain't no metrosexual!"

Booker staggers off with Sharmell.


As if things couldn't get wackier, Momma Benjamin and Shelton Benjamin, complete with 'I (heart) Momma' hat, go into their locker room.

Shelton: "Oh...Momma! I left my wallet! Damn man. Momma, I'm gonna have to backtrack and go find it."

Momma: "Oh heeeeellllll no. What's wit' you? You're always forgettin' stuff. I think you're forgettin' you're a Benjamin too, leaving your Momma alone all the time so some craziness can happen."

Shelton: "Ok Momma, here have my cell. If anything happens or if you need me, just call alright?"

Momma: "...Aight then. Be quick, don't keep Momma waitin'."

Shelton: "Love ya, Momma!"

Shelton runs out of the room. Momma looks at the phone.

Momma: "HEY!!...You dumbass, how can I call you when I have your phone?? (tuts) What is up wid him lately?..."

Cue Trevor Murdoch to slide into shot.

Trevor: "Hey there, hot stuff"

Momma jumps.

Momma: "WHY THE HELL YOU KEEP DOIN' THAT? Why you be all sneakin' up on me like that??"

She starts hitting Trevor with her bag as she says every word:

Momma: "Don't. Choo. Ever. Sneak. Up. On. Me. A. Gain!"

Trevor backs off a little.

Momma: "Now what is your problem, boy?"

Trevor: "Sorry ma'am but I simply can't control mah feelings"

Momma: "Oh...ohhhh...don't be screwin' wid my head. What do you really want?"

Trevor: "To put it simply: there's a whole lotta you to love, and I gotta whole lotta love to give."

Momma: "I bet you do. I bet you never got laid in your lifetime."

Trevor: "Well that ain't necessarily true." (The camera starts zooming slowly on Murdoch's face as he begins a story) "I remember when I was a young boy, just around the teenage years...me and mah neighbor, we'd wrestle each other. He'd do all these high-flyin' manouveres, I'd be more of a ground holds type-a guy."

Trevor: "Well, when you spend so much time with someone in that kinda situation...you start seein' that someone in a different light. Anyway, one day we went down to this patch where we'd do our wrestling stuff, it was a hot, summer day...sun blazin' like there weren't no tomorrow...one thing led to another. He attempted to get me in a 'small package'...but I tell ya, that package sure weren't small."

Trevor: "I mean, would any guy be able to turn down that washboard stomach, the chest hair glistenin' in the daylight...the smell of a hot, sweating male?...I sure wouldn't...I learned a lot about lurve that day..."

Murdoch spits in his cup and turns back to Momma.

Momma: "...SHELTOOOOONNNN!!!!"

Someone comes barging in, but it isn't Shelton.

Viscera: "What's wrong??"

Momma: "Who the hell are you??"

Viscera: "Oh I'm Viscera...and I'm the Wooooorld's Largest Love Machine baby, heh heh heh"

Murdoch: "Are you hittin' on my woman?"

Momma: "YOUR woman? I ain't your woman!"

Viscera: "Hey, she's a mighty fine woman?"

Momma: "What??"

Shelton finally comes in and just freezes.

Shelton: "Momma...what the hell...is goin' on?"

Trevor: "That there Viscera be hittin' on your Momma!"

Shelton: "Wha'?? Momma is he? Really?"

Viscera: "Hey I onl-"

Momma: "What you mean 'really'?? What's so shocking that a woman of my fine experience can still bring the men in?"

Viscera: "How about you teach me some things you've...learned? Heh heh ohhhhh baby..."

Shelton: "Ok that is IT! Vis, you know the drill. I'm-a see you in the ring! Now get the hell out!"

Both men leave.

Shelton: "Momma? You ok? I'm sorry Momma."

Momma: "You sorry? Oh...well come give a Momma kiss on the cheek"

Shelton advances than Momma grabs him by the ear.

Momma: "How stupid are you?? You give me your phone, you leave me alone and all this craziness happen! That ain't good for Momma's health! Now come with Momma while she get herself a refreshing beverage."

Momma walks off and Shelton rubs his ear.

Momma: "SHELTON!"

Shelton quickly follows.


Master Lock Challenge for the World Tag Team Titles

Chllenger: Snitsky (accompanied by Tyson Tomko)

Lillian Garcia explains the rules as Carlito and Masters come down to the ring.

Lillian: "The following contest is the Master Lock Challenge! And is for the World Tag Team Championships. The challenger will sit on a chair and then be locked into Chris Masters' 'Master Lock'. If the challenger manages to break the hold, he wins, and in this case be crowned along with his partner as the new Tag Team champions. However, if the challenger taps out, verbally submits or passes out, he will have failed the challenge."

Snitsky comes to the ring being motivated by Tyson.

A chair and a referee are in the middle of the ring waiting. The belts are held up high by the ref and Snitsky takes a seat.

Masters stretches his arms and hands, then wraps his arms around Snitsky, and locks in the Master Lock. Snitsky immediately stands up and wriggles and gurns. Tyson starts telling him some breathing techniques. Carlito thinks this is against the rules and squares up to Tomko to back him off. Tomko pushes Carlito away. Carlito gets angry and they square up again.

Tomko grabs Carlito's apple and throws it at him, but Carlito ducks, taking down Tomko in the process and they brawl. Masters doesn't let go of the hold, instead Snitsky lifts him up a little and fights through the pain trying to stomp Carlito on the floor.

Masters wriggles around and the bell rings to signal a no-contest. Snitsky falls on his back squashing Masters and causing him to release the hold! Or did he release because the bell rang? A brawl starts again. Snitsky and Masters trading punches, Tyson and Carlito doing the same. Suddenly the crowd cheer louder and the midget appears and climbs one of the turnbuckles! All 4 men look into the corner and the midget jumps, a flying cross body onto all of them, causing them to fall!! The midget goes to one side of the ring and does a Batista/Ultimate Warrior bottom rope shake!

The little scamp darts out of the ring and both teams are so confused that they don't fight anymore and leave unhappily, seperately.


Booker T w/ Sharmell V Goldust

Booker talks smack to Goldust, and is surprised when Goldust goes right for the win and starts attacking Booker. This gives him the advantage in the early going. Booker reverses a whip though and hits a biiiig scoop slam. Booker does some chops and then goes to whip Goldust, but pulls him back into a big forearm.

Goldust within a few minutes manages to get Booker into the turnbuckle and stomps on him a little, followed by a chop, then he lifts Booker's legs up. Goldust goes to the opposite corner and Booker pleads with Goldust as he goes for the Shattered Dreams. Sharmell runs in and gets in the way, causing Goldust to stop.

The ref gets into the fracas and among the chaos of of four bodies in a cramped position, Booker seems to low blow Goldust. Goldust goes down on a knee clenching his groin and Booker half-hits a Scissor Kick. He makes the cover: 1-2-3.

Booker celebrates his win up the ramp.


An office with Regal standing and Eugene sitting at his desk is shown to cheers, there's a knock on the door and in comes Shawn Michaels to further cheers.

HBK: "You wanted to see me?"

Regal: "Yes. Eugene has decided a RAW General Manager is needed quickly. To put it bluntly, he wants you for the job."

Moderate cheers.

HBK: "oh...wow. You really want me to be General Manager of RAW?"

Eugene: "Yeah! The...The Heart. Break. Kid!"

Regal: "You don't have to give an answer straight away, you can go think about it if you need to."

HBK: "No, no, that's ok. After what's happened recently, I'm gonna have to say...no..."

Regal: "No?? But why? It's a wonderful opportunity! Being in such a position could be once in a lifetime! Well...twice in a lifetime in your case."

HBK: "Well, after beating Vince McMahon at WrestleMania, I don't think I can. Power corrupted him, and what the power had done to him was eventually what lost him that power."

Regal: "How philsophical of you..."

HBK: "Thanks! But yeah...after seeing what Vince had become...I don't wanna follow that path and end up like him. But thanks anyway."

Shawn Michaels leaves.

Regal: "...Who does he think he is, bloody Luke Skywalker?"

Eugene: "He said no?!"

Regal: "No I don't understand either, Eugene. We're going to have to try someone else. But who could we ask?"

Eugene puts his finger on his chin and concentrates on thinking.


Shelton Benjamin w/ Momma V Viscera

Shelton starts off well with some typical holds and throws on the big man, which look impressive due to his size. He tries to lift Vis but he hasn't the strength, and Vis gives him a powerslam. He notices Momma and starts swinging his hips sexily with his hands behind his head. Before he can do any more to Momma or Benjamin, Trevor Murdoch comes in and hits him with the chair! Vis wins by DQ. Trevor gets out of the ring, tips his hat to Momma than walks off.

(JR: "I've seen this kind of thing before"

King: "Two guys, well three if you count Shelton, fighting over a lady. But Momma Benjamin?? Why not Trish?"

JR: "King, no offense to these men, I'm not the looker myself, but do you think Vis and Murdoch could really get themselves, as she'd say, some Stratusfaction?"

King: "That's a good point!"


A quick video showing off Hulk Hogan to get the crowd excited is shown.


WWE Title Number One Contender Match

Hulk Hogan V Edge w/ Lita

Hogan comes out ready to rumble, followed by Edge.

Hogan flexes a little before locking up with Edge, and immediately pushing him down, then posing a little more as Edge gives the wide-eyed-in-shock look.

Edge goes for a right hand, which gets blocked and he gets a punch in return. Hogan whips Edge into the ropes and gives him a hard clothesline, then flexes some more. Edge takes advantage and rolls him up: 1-2-only a two count. Hogan looks more focused as he gets up, and Edge starts getting an upperhand thanks to his youth and energy. When Hogan makes a small comeback, Lita grabs his leg and infuriates Hogan, but Edge continues his assault.

As Hogan becomes more unfocused, Edge sets up for a spear, Hogan turns around and spins out of the way in time. Edge lands hard in the middle turnbuckle. Hogan gives a big scoop slam and the crowd get fired up. He gets Edge standing again, but he throws a quick right hand...but it has no effect...Edge tries again...Hogan gets pumped up and Edge steps back. WHATCHA GONNA DO?? Hulk points and Hulks Up!!

Edge tries one more right hand but it gets blocked, and Hogan returns a punch and another, and another. Lita gets up on the apron and screams and shouts. Hogan just puts his hand on her face and pushes her off. Then he whips Edge in to the ropes: Big Boot! As always followed by the Atomic Leg Drop! Cover: 1-2-3!!

Hulkamania is back!

The crowd go wild and Hogan gets his arm raised as undisputed Number One Contender! The mood changes when Triple H appears from nowhere and hits him with the sledgehammer. He gets him up and sets him up for the Pedigree, but RVD runs down to the ring with a chair! Triple H gets out quickly then smirks.

(JR: "Hulk Hogan is back, and by the end of the month he could be champion!!"

King: "What a comeback! But Triple H, I think he's still got the Edge, pardon the pun."

JR: "King, that was awful. But you're right, that alliance could still work out somehow, but it looks like Rob Van Dam has Hogan's back too. This could get ugly, fast."


Ashley def. Candice

Snitsky in Chris Master's Master Lock Challenge (World Tag Team titles, no-contest)

Booker T def. Goldust

Viscera def. Shelton Benjamin via DQ

Hulk Hogan def. Edge in a WWE Title Number One Contender Match

Edited by Oscy
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World Wrestling Eugene

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As of 04/11/06 (11th April 2006), World Wrestling Entertainment will be officially recognized as World Wrestling Eugene. Logos will remain due to the acronym being unchanged ('WWE'), but all titles, shows etc. will be renamed to replace the 'E' for 'Entertainment', to the 'E' for 'Eugene'.

- WWE.com

Edited by Oscy
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