WCW: The Powers That Be (and beyond)

[TDG3RD]

Thunder Thoughts:

- Like Juvi, don't care much for Lash, so hated the ending to the match. But maybe you can end up making me eventually like Lash.

- Nice job by Douglas in explaining the merger between The Revolution and the Filthy Animals. Benoit/Hart vs. two of The Revolution? Should be a good match.

- Ugh, Jim Duggan and Brad Armstrong. Next.

- Sucks that Duggan and Armstrong beat Berlyn and Disco. I really hope Armstrong doesn't get a Cruiserweight Title Shot.

- The more I see of this Flair/DDP angle, the more I hate it. Just a shame these two have to have David Flair and Kimberly dragging down their 'feud'.

- Sid. Yay. Really wondering where you're going with this Sid/Goldberg angle. You'd think Sid getting beat twice cleanly would be the end of it.

- When you have a match where Buff Bagwell is relied upon to carry the load, you know it's going to suck. I'm intrigued as to where you're going with The American Nightmare.

- I so hate the Madusa angle. Hope it leads up to where someone beats the living Hell out of her and we never see Madusa's ugly face again.

- Booker T. deserves so much better than teaming with Stevie Ray and feuding with Rick Steiner. Why do I have this feeling that this may be leading to the return of Scott Steiner and the reuniting of The Steiner Bros. I hope not, as both Booker T. and Scott Steiner should be moving on to bigger and better things.

- So instead of Bret/Benoit vs. Guerrero/Saturn, thanks to Sting and Lex, we get Benoit vs. Guerrero/Saturn. Well, despite the non-ending, at least Benoit and The Revolution looked strong. But since Bret will be feuding with Sting, Benoit's gonna some help to take The Revolution on.

I'd give Thunder a thumbs in the middle. The Russo/Ferrera crap was strong, but there were a few decent things... mainly the stuff with Benoit and The Revolution.

Edited May 24, 2007 by TDG3RD

[Gabriel]

-I like that Shane Douglas and cohorts have targeted Bret Hart as well as Chris Benoit, even if it's by association to Benoit. Hopefully this will give Hart something interesting to do, and keep him away from Bill Goldberg and the kick of death.

-BA Brad Armstrong... well... maybe you could get something going with Armstrong being Pro-American/Anti-Immigrants. Could at least be humorous, which is more than Armstrong's really ever accomplished...aside from being a former WCW Light Heavyweight Champion, pre-Cruiserweight Title days.

-Wait a tick... who cares about Armstrong getting a Cruiserweight Title shot? The REAL travesty here is that the Berlyn character is continuing to be molested by the Powers That Be. Berlyn should be kicking ass and doing his thing...not teaming with Disco Inferno.

-Burying The Demon...sigh... too bad, because a Demon/Sid feud could have been an entertaining trainwreck that leaves Goldberg open for something better... or...well...something that isn't another Sid/Goldberg match.

-I'm starting to see a parralel between Nightmare/Jarrett and Sting/Hogan... except, one was built up amazingly and ended with a mediocre match... the other is obviously a mediocre rehashing of the former angle, and will probably end up in a pretty good match. I really hope this doesn't last though.

-Madusa...Tylene Buck... where's Sid when you need him?

-Nice cliffhanger there though... Madusa Vs who on Nitro? I'm hoping for Sid.

-While I believe that the Revolution need to be booked strongly too succeed here, it is also necessary to make Chris Benoit seem like a real threat, and you managed to do both with the main event. The only thing is, a rematch needs to happen so that the fans can see that The Revolution isn't weak, but Benoit is strong, and was able to handle himself against two men. Hopefully Hart and Benoit form a Canadian Horsemen or something similar, as they seem to be headed to a place where they'll be backed up against a wall, with the Revolution coming from one side, and Sting and Package coming from the other.

[GA!]

THE GOD-AWFUL REPORT

Monday November 1st 1999

- Nitro is live from Minneapolis, and we’re twenty days away from WCW Mayhem. Tony Schiavone and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan are your hosts.

- Coming up at the end of hour one, Chris Benoit will challenge Sting for the World Title. There is a God!

- Lash Leroux vs. Brad Armstrong vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr vs. Berlyn. The winner will contend for the Cruiserweight title at Mayhem, so Disco Inferno is logically at the commentary table exchanging banter instead of making notes backstage. With all four men in the ring, it is a train wreck to begin with three/four man moves like a mini-Tower of Doom. Eventually wrestlers leave the ring to create convenient one on one situations to make the match easier to follow. When Brad Armstrong happens to be thrown out the ring, Berlyn re-enters to fight. When Berlyn is surprised by a leg scissors takedown by Chavo, Berlyn rolls out and Lash enters etcetera. Chavo and Lash execute a double suplex on Brad Armstrong, before knocking Berlyn off the apron as he tries to get back in the ring. The two head to opposite top turnbuckles and soar high only for Armstrong to dodge both bullets. He doesn’t dodge Berlyn’s neckbreaker however. Berlyn goes for the pin, Lash stops the count. Lash executes the Whiplash, pins, Chavo breaks it up. Chavo executes the Tornado DDT, gets a two and then ate Brad Armstrong’s Russian Legsweep. The ending comes when Berlyn tosses Lash over the top rope while Brad does the same to Chavo. Armstrong kicks Berlyn in the stomach, runs to the ropes but gets a kick in the stomach on the way back. Berlyn calls for a vertical suplex, flips Armstrong high in the air, Brad slides out it and rolls him up for the quick pinfall victory. There were, oh, three more-deserving wrestlers that could’ve gone over. Brad Armstrong moves on to challenge for the Cruiserweight title in three weeks, and I move on to the nearest mental hospital. **

- Mean Gene and the Nitro Girls (minus Kimberly) are at a Nitro Party. There’s punch, people dressed like Sting and WCW themed charades. Meanwhile at the local Raw party, there’s sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll.

- Backstage Kevin Nash is lacing up his boots, he’s dressed to wrestle! Mike Tenay interviews him and cuts to the chase by asking how much is Nash being paid by the PTB tonight to take out Buff Bagwell. Big Sexy tries to play the innocent card, saying that he loves to wrestle and the retirement was boring him shitless anyway. After a look of scepticism on the Professor’s part, Kev admits that they’re paying him $100k to wrestle tonight, and that he can go back to retirement immediately afterwards. Well, at least he admits being a money-driven lazy cunt.

- Stevie Ray (w/Booker T) vs. Dean Malenko (w/Shane Douglas). Malenko is outmatched to begin with. Stevie may not be technically equipped, but he’s bigger and that’s all that counts damnit. Stevie pounds on Dean with clubbing shots to the back, an atomic drop and a powerslam. Dean tricks Stevie as the Tag Team champ runs into the corner and rams his knee into the turnbuckle pad. Working on the knee area, Malenko is relentless, kicking at it and applying pressure to it whenever possible. He makes a fatal mistake though when he whips Stevie to the ropes, ducking too early. Ray boots his face before taking back control. Douglas complains at ringside but he can’t do anything about the situation. Malenko is surprisingly beaten from pillar to post without any form of response minus a rake in the eyes, the momentum from the move ends literally two seconds later when he falls into a sidewalk slam. However the tide changed completely when Rick Steiner charges down to the ring and brawls with Booker T over losing last week on Thunder. The referee is distracted by the DFG whipping Booker into the steel steps. During that time, Perry Saturn and Eddie Guerrero dash down to the ring. Perry Saturn hits the Death Valley Driver on Stevie Ray before Guerrero executes the Frog Splash. Malenko locks in the Texas Cloverleaf to get the submission victory. *½

- WCW World title: Sting © vs. Chris Benoit. As Chris Benoit walks to the ring, he is ambushed by the Revolution. They beat the shit out of him, rolling Chris into the ring and hitting all their respective finishers (even Torrie gets in a bitch slap). The referees come out to save the day, but it’s too late as Benoit winds up doing the stretcher job… It was a very good segment, and the Revolution got a lot of heat, but why did they have to bait-and-switch this match?!? NR

- In the interview area, Mike Tenay interviews Sting. Sting claims that he knew well in advance of the Revolution’s intentions, and while he wasn’t happy about them, he’s got bigger fish to fry right now. Ever since Bret Hart accused him of being in the Powers That Be’s pocket last week, Sting has wanted to get as much revenge as possible. He got some on Thunder, he wants more tonight. While it would be more than perfect to challenge Bret Hart to a handicap match against himself and Luger, he knows the Hitman isn’t stupid enough to get into a situation like that. So he lays down the challenge for a tag team match tonight in the main event. Bret has to find himself a different partner than usual as Chris Benoit’s on his way to hospital right now. Just as the interview is about to end, Mike Tenay poses the question of why accusations of being associated with the Powers That Be are making him hot under his collar. Sting gives a cold look before walking away.

- More “fun” with Mean Gene and the girls at the Nitro Party. Why nail the hot chick at the Raw Party when you can have fun eating cucumber sandwiches at the Nitro Party?

- Madusa vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. Madusa finally gets her wish to wrestle matches, so she faces the heaviest man on the roster. Schiavone over-hypes Bigelow as a monster, but really the guy’s just a fat bastard. Maybe he’s a monster in the Land of Desserts? Bam Bam half-heartedly wrestles her knowing it won’t take much to win. Madusa’s kicks and punches are ineffective, and her sleeper hold looks like she’s trying to hug a big, tattooed-to-fuck teddy bear. Bigelow counters with a snapmare. Madusa becomes pissed off and kicks him in the nuts. This suddenly motivates Bigelow to mercilessly mow her over, execute the flying headbutt and do a huge Greetings From Asbury Park to get the pinfall victory. ½*

- Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly appear for some mic time. DDP starts by laughing. The Nature Boy must’ve definitely gone wrong somewhere, because his own son has gotten beat by a woman. Not that he’s sexist, just that Kim’s a Nitro girl, and David Flair’s a former WCW United States champion! Hey, I pointed that out last week! And the way she pinned him? David better thank his lucky stars because that’s the closest he’ll ever get to a woman getting it off with him. If Nature Boy is the so called Space Mountain, then Davey Boy must be the Big Dipper… Whatever that means. Kimberly gets on the microphone and further taunts David. She saw Thunder last week, and saw how David Flair was feeling a bit of sexual tension over how he was pinned. But then again who can blame him? She claims she is the sexiest woman in the world and every man wants a piece of her. But there’s only one man that gets her, and guess who that is? The crowd try their best at guessing by chanting: “boring” over and over again, but are totally wrong, it’s DDP! Ric Flair’s music plays, only for David to come out by himself, further pissing off the fans. David claims he’s a man, and there’s something he must do without help from his Dad. He turns to Kimberly and suddenly exclaims: “I want to jump your bones!” I bet those Turner censors are pleased. Kim and DDP hysterically laugh. After repeating some points about David already said, DDP challenges David Flair to a match on Thunder. If David wins, he gets to spend a night with Kimberly, although the way Kim is okay about it makes it obvious there’s going to be a catch. David accepts and the segment ends there. Ugh… If WCW does the impossible and dies many years from now, historians will look back at stuff like this and find out why it happened.

- Back at the Nitro Party, Mean Gene is interviewing some frat boys. Suddenly, Sid Vicious storms into the rooms and destroys the hell out of the room, people and all! He puts an idiot dressed like Hulk Hogan through the buffet table and yells out: “I WANT GOLDBERG!!!” HAHAHA!!! Best. Segment. Ever.

- Buff Bagwell vs. Kevin Nash. Scott Hall must be getting last orders. Buff Bagwell begins by unleashing lefts and rights, stunning Big Sexy enough to land a clothesline afterwards. Nash reverses a whip, Bagwell holds onto the ropes. Kev dashes forward for a big boot but traps his groin against the top rope. Buff is immediately back on the offensive in the corner. Nash deliberately blinds the referee so he can hit a low blow, despite this not being the WWF and there’s no DQ for that sort of thing. Nash begins a cold, calculating (or as I call it, slow and lazy) striking attack of knees and elbows before hitting a big sidewalk slam. Kev goes for the cover, but only gets a two. He hits the big boot and a choke hold. He can’t keep Buff Daddy down though. Bagwell cheekily lands his own low blow, following up with the swinging neckbreaker. One Atomic Drop and clothesline later, Bagwell looks ready for the Buff Blockbuster. Kevin Nash (on the floor) grabs the referee’s shirt and complains of back pain while Jeff Jarrett predictably dashes down and cracks Buff in the back of the head with the guitar. Bagwell splats to the ground. Nash then acts like the big man, getting up, undoing the straps and executing the Jackknife powerbomb for the pinfall victory. Why it had to be Nash to play the bad guy when the booking meant anyone could fill the role is baffling. Maybe Big Sexy wanted to bury more up-and-coming talent? Afterwards, Jeff Jarrett continues a beatdown on Buff Bagwell until the lights go out. To spooky music, The American Nightmare charges to the ring and confronts Jeff Jarrett by staring into his eyes. Nightmare suddenly swerves, clocking Bagwell in the head! Nightmare executes the Curtain Call before celebrating unemotionally with Jeff Jarrett. ½*

- In the backstage area, Jeff Jarrett, The Harris Brothers and The American Nightmare celebrate what they just accomplished. Actually Nightmare just stands there silently pondering if he’s supposed to look like Uncle Fester, or if he’s had a severe flour accident. According to Ron (or Don?) – Vince Russo and Ed Ferrera have invited them into the office to watch the main event and see “their boy” Sting take care of business. Now Bret Hart can either think: “They said that because there’s a camera right there”, or he can take their word for granted. Guess which one he’ll go for.

- Bret Hart’s partner for Sting's totally flawless tag team main event challenge is Bill Goldberg. Whoops.

- Bret Hart & Goldberg vs. Sting & The Total Package. TP tries to club Goldberg in the back of the head, but gets Gorilla Press slammed onto Sting instead. Bret Hart is the official legal man, working on Package’s knee. TP is selling this time but Hitman is probably stiffing him just to make sure. Hart unleashes the jumping piledriver and goes for the pin, but gets a two. Bret wants to continue the offence, but is low blowed. He falls to the ground stunned while Sting is tagged in. Sting also aims for the groin area before lowering it to the thigh and upper leg. Cradling Hart into a Shattered Dreams like position, he relentlessly kicks in the leg in hope for a Scorpion Deathlock soon after. However Sting changes his strategy momentarily to break out the Stinger Splash three times. Sting picks up the legs, Hart scurries to the bottom rope. When TP re-enters, he forgets where Sting attacked by emphasising on the knee with kneebreakers and a chop block to the ground. Sting is tagged back in, this time he locks in the Scorpion Deathlock but once again Hart is at the ropes. Goldberg looks agitated on the apron. Meanwhile Sting drags Bret to the centre of the ring and locks in the Boston Crab. God knows what difference there is in crossing the legs, but this has nowhere as much effect as the pseudo-Sharpshooter. Again, albeit longer this time, Hart makes it to the ropes. The turnaround of the match comes when Bret breaks out an enzurgi. With both men knocked out on the canvas, they crawl to their respective corners and make the tags. Goldberg charges in and simply destroys Sting and The Total Package. He executes an array of slams on both. The Total Package tries a quick clothesline on Bill, misses and hits Sting instead, and gets a spear. As he sets up for the Jackhammer, Sting gets to his feet. He looks at TP, and doesn’t bother to help him, walking away instead. Goldberg does the move and gets the pin to end Nitro. ¾*

- THE FINAL VERDICT. The show took a real nose-dive after Sting’s challenge, although many will argue that cancelling the Benoit match no matter how good the Revolution looked meant the show never picked up. No matter what, the second half was simply terrible. Thumbs down.

- Ratings: Thunder did a 4.0, easily their lowest rating in several weeks. Smackdown did a 5.81, getting close to being a point ahead of Nitro.

- In developmental news, Tygress wants to be promoted to the full roster, feeling she’s achieved as much as she can at the Power Plant. I’m sure that training program of putting on lipstick and scantily clad clothing was very intense.

- Dory Funk Jr will retire in a month.

- And finally, the following wrestlers in World Championship Wrestling are celebrating their birthdays this month: Perry Saturn (31), Nitro Girl Skye (21), Scott Hall (36), Buff Bagwell (31), Ron Harris (40), Don Harris (40), “Superestrelle” El Dandy (37), Asya (29). I bought you all a cake, but I ate it.

- Check back on Thursday for the Thunder report. Until then, say NO to ECW Hardcore TV Parties.

Edited May 28, 2007 by godAWFUL

[Gabriel]

Gaby's Nitro Thoughts:

-The Brad Armstrong win was predictable, but like I said earlier, Armstrong could potentially create a good feud here. Potentially.

-Kevin Nash as the paid assassin of the Powers That Be? I see this situation exploding, with Nash ending up as an enemy of theirs...I hope. I like Big Kev.

-Too bad that Benoit/Sting never happened there, but it was a good angle, having the Revolution take him out before he got his shot at the belt.

-Ooh, Benoit's out, and The Hitman needs a partner. Could this be the third man in what I was hoping would be a small stable to combat the massive amount of heels in the promotion?

-RIP Madusa.

-I hope David Flair gets injured in some freak accident so that I can step in and wrestle DDP on Thunder... mmm.

-Nitro Parties always sucked... what doesn't suck, however, is Sid walking in and killing everyone. Good job.

-Nightmare turning was a good swerve that isn't completely out of nowhere. At first, it sounded like a Sting type of character, and that scared me... but the turn here, and the fact that he's seemingly going to be the exact opposite of his dad's American Dream character, has me intrigued. I also like that he didn't just start laughing and smiling with Jeff, but instead "celebrated unemotionally". A cold, calculating and evil character is exactly what Dustin Rhodes needs. Excellent stuff here.

-What the fuck... Goldberg? Worst partner ever... and slightly ironic. What sucks here though, is that it looks like Goldberg's moving into the World Title picture again. I like Luger's new nickname though, "TP". You should have him change his name to Lex TP, or TP Luger, and have him try turning face, only to have people throw toilet paper at him. It's genius, I tell you.

[TDG3RD]

Nitro Thoughts:

- Blech, would've much rather seen Chavo or Berlyn win the match than Armstrong. Hell, I would've preferred Lash Leroux over Armstrong. Oh well.

- Nash as the PTB's hired gun? This should be interesting... just too bad the match between Nash and Buff will suck.

- Good to see Malenko get the win over that talentless slug Stevie Ray... but unless there's a Steiners reunion sooner or later, I'm not sure where this angle with Rick Steiner and Harlem Heat is heading.

- Revolution are two for two tonight. First Malenko's win, and now the decimation of Chris Benoit. Definitely the hottest thing going in this diary so far.

- Always good to see Madusa getting squashed. Hope this continues on for a good, long while. Well, until she gets canned, anyways.

- Ugh, DDP and David Flair on Thunder? I hope DDP squashes David Flair in under a minute, and the kid is never seen again. Won't happen, but I can hope.

- I always hated the Nitro Parties... but Sid just made this Nitro Party segment the best ever.

- SWERVE! Well, can't say I was expecting The American Nightmare to join with Jarrett... his character seems a little too 'dark' to fit with Jarrett and Co. It's an intriguing angle, though, curious to see where it leads.

- Oh, the irony of Bret's choice. Wonder if there'll be some friction between Sting and Luger over Sting's leaving Luger out to dry at the end?

[GA!]

THE GOD-AWFUL REPORT

Thursday 4th November 1999

- A quick note before we begin: The Total Package has so much heat at the moment that he’s like a walking radiator. So much so, Sting went to the PTB (non-kayfabe, calm down Bret) and said he doesn’t want to partner up with TP anymore. Despite being friends for many years, Sting is sick of the heat Package is getting, and feels he’s way more over on-screen to be associated with him anyway. This would explain why Sting walked out at the end of the main event on Monday. Also TAFKA Luger claimed that Goldberg tried to make him look bad in their tag team match on Monday when Package was trying the vice versa. Package has, in fact, jobbed cleanly three times straight now and hasn’t actually won a match under the Total Package persona. His last win was as Lex Luger on September 13th, and won’t ever win again at this rate.

- We’re taped from San Diego again with Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko.

- Mean Gene pulls out a knife and kills the audience. Well it’s the equivalent of it, he interviews The Total Package. It is FINALLY announced that Sting will face Bret Hart for the WCW World title at Mayhem. The champion will then face the winner of a #1 contenders match earlier in the evening between Goldberg and Total Package at Starrcade. TP says that while Sting is chumming it up with the Powers That Be backstage, he has business to take care of our here. When asked to reiterate what he just said about Sting, TP admits he lied, but he’s so pissed off with him right now for walking out of their match on Nitro. He had Goldberg beat and--- The camera cuts to the parking lot where Sid Vicious is. He acts like a doll with the string you can pull back and make it say stuff, but this one just says: “I WANT GOLDBERG!” over and over again. TP sees this on the Turnertron and gets a great idea, but he needs to speak with Sid first. He rushes backstage to do more “physical training”, as his bicep was only twice the size of Gene’s head.

- In the backstage area, Scott Hudson catches up with Chris Benoit as he enters the building. The Crippler has a lead pipe in his possession. On Monday, the Revolution stole an opportunity he has been craving for. When he could’ve been holding the World Title high in the air, he was in the back of an ambulance instead. If the Revolution wants to play this game their way, then Benoit is more than happy to fight fire with fire in his mission to take them out.

- Brad Armstrong & Jim Duggan vs. Villano IV & Villano V. I think its obvious who won this one. After the match, Armstrong strikes both Villano’s with the 2x4 and throws them “out of his country”, which is the ring apparently. Does that mean the audience are Canadian on one side, and Mexican on the other? Duggan doesn’t approve of Brad’s actions by the way. DUD

- Backstage again, Buff Bagwell is yelling at Jeff Jarrett outside the Powers That Be room with The Harris’ and Nightmare in close proximity. Bagwell is being placed into a four corners #1 contenders match for the Tag titles, but again with a partner of Jeff’s choosing, so it will be someone around the calibre on The Maestro. However when Madusa appears for her bi-weekly moan, Jeff gets a great idea; he’s going to team Buff and Madusa together. Jarrett thinks he’s so clever because – get this – Madusa’s a woman! MUHAHAHA! Get it? She’s got no penis! Bagwell mocks Jeff’s logic and the duo go to depart, not before The American Nightmare stands in Buff’s way and whispers something in his ear. Bagwell looks weirded out.

- Stevie Ray vs. Rick Steiner. Stevie wanted to do this alone so Booker hasn’t come to the ring with him. Stevie and Steiner brawl, kick and punch for the majority of the match. Exchanging momentum several times – the DFG finally gets the clear advantage after a flapjack onto the top turnbuckle. His ground and pound offence is effective, excruciatingly boring to watch, but effective nonetheless. A clothesline sends one-half of the Tag champs to the ground. After more slugging to the face, Rick channels his brother with a Steiner Recliner. Applying the pressure, Steiner yells: “C’mon” and “shut up” a lot. Stevie uses all of his might to overpower out of the move. In the fight that follows afterwards, Ray almost gets the Slapjack, but Rick pushes out of it and escapes to the outside. Like last week, the DFG tricks his opponent to the outside of the ring. This time, Steiner picks up a steel chair from out of nowhere and slams it over Stevie’s head, drawing a disqualification. Rick continues to beat down on the chair until Booker T makes the save. The match was boring; the brawling-for-no-reason style sucks. ½*

- In the parking lot, The Total Package is talking to Sid. It took Package forty-five minutes to find the parking lot?! Package tells Sid that he has a beautiful idea for the main event: Goldberg vs. Sid vs. Package, but obviously the situation will be two-on-one. If Sid agrees to the match than he’ll go talk with the Powers That Be straight away to end Sid’s suspension. They shake hands and away the airhead goes.

- Buff Bagwell & Madusa vs. Hugh Morrus & Brian Knobbs vs. Rey Mysterio Jr & Perry Saturn vs. Ron Harris & Don Harris. The winning team will face Harlem Heat at Mayhem. This is a four-corners match so two wrestlers are in at one time. Ron and Knobbs fight to start with. Ron though plays a cruel trick by tagging in Madusa. Brian is unforgiving, giving the poor silicone woman a Pitty City and a splash in the corner to knock her silly. As she rolls out of the ring injured, Saturn comes in to continue the match. With the First Family and The Revolution fighting it out in the ring, Buff Bagwell attends to Madusa on the outside. The Harris Brothers confront Buff and they get into a scrap with Bagwell being sent to the steel steps. Then they pick up Madusa and do a sickening H-Bomb onto the ground. Madusa isn’t moving an inch! In ring, Mysterio decks Morrus until he’s sitting against the turnbuckle. He goes for the Bronco Buster, but gets a boot in the testicles. Hugh tags in Knobbs, who tries a splash from the top rope only to miss. On the outside, Bagwell tackles over one Harris and gets into a brawl with the other. Eventually the other Harris joins in, and Bagwell fights a losing battle as they head up the rampway. As EMTs come to check on Madusa, Mysterio makes the tag to Saturn in the ring. Together the Revolution clear house. Morrus and Knobbs accidentally run into each other, causing Morrus to trickle to the outside and almost squash Madusa in the process. Knobbs is given a low dropkick to the back of the knees and receives a Rings of Saturn. The Nasty Boy has no chance but to tap out, giving the Revolution the shot at Mayhem. What an overdone mess, and Madusa is getting her ass handed to her left and right, taking away all illusion that she can wrestle with men. At least the right team went over. *

- Mean Gene interviews Ric and David Flair backstage. Coming up next is DDP vs. David Flair, with David getting to spend the night with Kimberly if he wins. The Nature Boy tells him that a woman isn’t worth getting himself into trouble over. There are far better women out there in terms of looks and personality, but Ric still supports his son no matter what, even if he is cutting half-hearted promos in hope this angle ends sooner than later. David crazily says she is worth it. When she pinned him like she did ten days ago, it became obvious that Kimberly NEEDS the excuse to go ride on Space Mountain II. Flair will pin Page and then make everybody at the local hotel complain when all they can hear is: “Oh god David! Oh god, you’re the man!” Davey Boy actually cut a cool Dad-imitation promo.

- David Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page. If David wins, then Kimberly will have stuff done to her. Butt stuff. As expected, Page dominates the match to a point where he puts in no effort. DDP begins to mock The Nature Boy, mocking the strut and even the faint. This pisses off David, who gets in offence for the first time in his wrestling career, landing a dropkick and then winning two moments of brawling. In the corner, Flair lands back-hand chops before landing the low blow. Kimberly walks down to the ring wearing just bra and panties, eating a banana. David stops instantly, drooling over her. Kim steps into the ring and starts to unzip Flair’s trousers. Kim low blows him, and Page lands the Diamond Cutter for the victory. Um, shouldn’t there have been a disqualification then? And David’s a fucking idiot anyway for thinking he was going to get fellatio “live” on TBS. DDP and Kim lay the boots on Davey Boy until Ric Flair makes the save. The match was about two stars higher than predicted. DUD

- Backstage, The Revolution is celebrating their Tag match win when Chris Benoit suddenly slams into the room. He unleashes lead pipe shots to members one by one, showing no remorse… That is until Benoit accidentally swings at Torrie. He barely puts on the breaks, and the moment’s freeze afterwards is enough for the groggy Revolution members to tackle him over into a messy, uncoordinated brawl. The referees and officials come in to separate the two sides, the majority restrain Benoit, who yells how much he wants his hands on Shane Douglas for destroying the Revolution’s ethics and Dean Malenko for swerving him.

- Bill Goldberg vs. The Total Package (w/Miss Elizabeth) vs. Sid Vicious. As signposted, Package and Vicious double-team “Da Man”, but with not much luck. Any flurry of double team beat-downs motivate Goldberg to come back with more powerful assaults, including a standing sidekick for Sid and a legbreaker for Package. A big boot from Sid stuns Goldberg, making him collapse into the middle rope, and a double vertical suplex afterwards makes Sid and Luger think they’ve got the job done. By the time they finished celebrating, Bill is up, and he spears the living shit out of them! Signalling: “That’s it”, he sets up Sid for the Jackhammer only to receive a low blow from Package. Sid chokeslams Goldberg. Vicious celebrates with Package again, only for Package to lock him into a Torture Rack! TP grinds Sid but eventually drops him due to the psycho’s sheer size. Sid and Package get into a scrap, Sid not too pleased about being swerved in a way. Goldberg goes to spear both at the same time again, but they step out of the way and he goes head first into the steel turnbuckle post (ouch!). Sid then quickly chokeslams Package in the aftermath to pick up the pinfall victory. Afterwards for some reason, Sid goes ballistic, assaulting TP by powerbombing him through the announcer’s table on the outside to end the show. DUD

- Well there was a reason for the attack. The original angle saw Package get the triple threat match signed, and that it was for Sid’s United States belt. But when they were editing it yesterday, it was (finally) realised that Goldberg has been “banned” from going for the belt for sixty days so the idea was cancelled. They’ll likely just put over Sid’s craziness when explaining the incident.

- THE FINAL VERDICT. The show was abysmal, and continues the shit-streak to three shows now. That’s three shows out of four since Vince Russo and Ed Ferrera got total control of the book… It’s not looking good, is it? The problems lay in things they’re trying to achieve. For some reason, they want women to be equal to men in every way possible, despite the fact they only weigh over 100lbs because of their cement loaded breasts. Their ideas of getting people over are strange, I’m sure they want Sid to be almighty yet he jobbed clean to Goldberg twice in 24 hours, and making Brad Armstrong a racist won’t put asses in seats either, so what’s the point? Finally, if you’ve noticed how the write-ups of these matches seem repetitive at times, that’s because they are. I wonder if Russo and Ferrera actually know any basics in constructing a wrestling match as there’s been no evidence of it so far. Hopefully they’ll realise these points sooner rather than later and quit.

- Ratings news: Nitro achieved a 5.09 (up by 0.05) while Raw is still dominating the Monday Night Wars with a 7.11 (down by 0.05).

- The WWF has signed four wrestlers in the past week as they look to keep their talent roster looking fresh (are you listening WCW?). Raven has finally made the jump despite agreeing with WCW that he wouldn’t sign with the WWF until August 2000. However things are such a mess down south internally that Raven’s confident nobody will notice the clause. Lance Storm has signed from ECW. Tito Ortiz has signed and is already being groomed as the next Ken Shamrock, who left the WWF this summer after a two year stay. Finally the WWF has signed The Honky Tonk Man of all people, whether or not it’s for a comical one-off skit is to be seen.

- I am getting so sick of WCW now that I might take this report on hiatus… Until Monday Nitro that is! So until next time, take care, and especially for those in Britain - beware of dodgy fireworks this Bonfire Night, they might be DUDs.

[TDG3RD]

- Ah, a Total Package interview to start off Thunder... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Uh-oh, Package has an idea involving Sid... nothing good will come from this.

- Benoit + lead pipe = big trouble for The Revolution.

- Oh goodie, Brad Armstrong with a racist gimmick. I can smell the ratings already.

- Yeesh, Bagwell and Madusa teaming together? I don't even care for Bagwell, and now I feel sorry for him. Wonder what The American Nightmare whispered to Bagwell? Then again, I'm not sure I really want to know.

- Stevie Ray and Rick Steiner... yeah, this is guaranteed to suck. And suck it does... still wondering if this Rick Steiner/Harlem Heat angle will lead to the reuniting of The Steiners.

- Sid/Goldberg/Luger in the Main Event? The wrestling for this show doesn't look to be taking an upturn.

- A four-way tag-team match.... or as I like to call it, Mysterio/Saturn vs. three other crappy teams. Right choice to have Mysterio/Saturn go over, and their match with Harlem Heat should be pretty good. Oh, and Madusa getting the crap beat out of her is always a good thing.

- Nope, still not caring about the David Flair/Kimberly angle. I really hope it comes to an end soon. At least DDP dominated pretty much all of the match against David.

- Benoit gains a small measure of payback against The Revolution. I wonder if Benoit will be facing Malenko or Douglas at Mayhem?

- Main Event was complete crap... which is really no surprise. However, I am surprised Sid won... I figured Goldberg would've pinned Sid again to continue Sid's losing streak against him.

Looking forward to Nitro.

[Gabriel]

Gaby's Thunder Thoughts

-Bad start... Goldberg Vs Package is announced as a number one contenders match. Worse even, that the winner gets the shot at StarrCade.

-I was hoping that Bigelow would spell the end of Madusa for awhile at least. Oh well...at least she'll be in the ring with a partner who can carry her.

-The four team match was overbooked to holy fuck, but it worked. Bagwell stands up for what's right against the Powers, and the Revolution picks up another win, this time, for a shot at some gold... but uh, the Saturn and Mysterio pairing is a little, well, a lot weird.

-The less said about Page/Flair, the better. So...forget I said that much...

-Sid destroying the Total Package was an awesome visual. I'd like to see a Sid/Luger feud if only to imagine the beatings Package would have to sustain.

-I'd just like to add, before I post these thoughts, that Brad Armstrong took my baby away... and that is totally fucking awesome. If you keep this direction with BA, I'd love to see him take his crusade to higher levels.

[JStarr]

Closed and archived at G-A's request.