Survivor: South Pacific

[The Quasi Juice]

Watching season 13, only two episodes in, but not happy Ozzy's back after throwing that challenge.

What other seasons do Ozzy and Coach show up in? No way I'll be able to catch up entirely until Survivor 24, but if I focus on Ozzy and Coach, I might be able to finish their seasons in a month or so and get in on this one around the merge.

Cook Islands, Micronesia (both Ozzy), Tocantins, Heroes vs. Villains (both Coach). They have never been a part of the same game.

*Edit: beat me to it

Edited September 4, 2011 by The Quasi Juice

[Pleatherface]

So has ANYONE but Probst ever called Keith "Ashton Kutcher Extra Large"?

Cuz I somehow doubt it.

After watching the preview... Yeah, it does look like they nerfed the tribes this season when it comes specificly to alpha males just so Coach and Ozzy wouldn't have too much trouble.

I'll never get comfortable with young women saying they're prepared for Survivor because they have pageant experience, and they're not afraid to flirt. It always makes me feel icky.

And the simple fact that the self-proclaimed "strongest woman in survivor history" the female boston rob (Probst's words) is just some lingerie football player makes my heart sad.

Edna doesn't inspire much hope in me since she's associated with Samoa Nick, and didn't even want to be on the show.

[GoGo Yubari]

I'm cool with there being less alpha male types because most of them get pretty same-y. I'd sooner have a season of John Cochrans and Ricks and so on.

[The Quasi Juice]

Tommorow, yay! Can't wait I love me some Survivor every week.

[bill_da_bill]

Does it debut tomorrow?! I thought it was still another week away.

[GoGo Yubari]

Yup, tomorrow.

[Pleatherface]

First Thoughts:

Good on Coach 3.0 for admitting fear and worry. He actually does seem to have evolved somewhat, and only time will tell, but it seems like he is honestly a better glue for his tribe than Ozzy would be. If his Douche doesn't act up I could root for him.

Austin (?) probably wont get a huge amount of screen time unless he's an asshat but I see the makings of a physical beast there, the way he hauled Lil' Hantz up by the wrists before he could even use his feet.

I dislike Mikayla for what she represents. The whole female boston rob thing, her general atttude, that's sorta icky to me.

Even ickier? Lil' Hantz. It doesn't make me want to see you win if in the first hour of game play there's a shot of you doing something that wouldn't be out of place in a fan made music video set to "The Creep"

Seriously dude? You can't abide Mikayla because you're tempted to cheat on your wife with her, and that's her fault? Lingering stares from the bushes? I really wanted to like you. Like, really.

You're a goof, and not far from being insanely offensive.

Though I did find it cute that he waded out in the water to his knees, caught a minnow, and did a roar of the mighty hunter.

How is any male going to justify NEVER being shirtless for 39 days? The smell alone would be just cause for torch snuffing.

Cochran? I'll have to wait and see. He's coming off as less awesome nerd, more arrogant nerd with crippling insecurities.

I love Papa Bear. If there is a funny 115 entry in this seasons future? I hope it's Papa Bear. He thus far seems adorable, and it seems as if he knows the game well, and can work it. Time will tell.

Rick? Got major love for Rick, because he's right. If you don't learn how to start a fire before coming to Survivor, you're dumb.

Dumbest Player? Maybe Stacey. We'll have to see, but when you get within inches of a clue to the hii and don't find it in a hole because you don't reach in? I don't have confidence. I hate to say this but I'm already getting older Naonka vibes from her, she seems to have a certain attitude.

Ozzy lost me at let's go swimmin' and I'd be fine sleeping on the ground. Not the leader his tribe needs, dangerous, beat him to death with a rock when he's sleeping.

Edna has potential. I ultimately think she'll be lost in the shuffle, but depending on how douchey Coach gets this season, and whether or not she implodes during a challenge, that one little kind of act of helping with his bags could get her along.

Tonight the role of Grant will be played by Keith. Here's hoping he gets a personality.

Edited September 15, 2011 by Pleatherface

[GoGo Yubari]

It's an interesting edit on how things played out in this episode. I really hope John played the first Tribal better than the edit implies because that was really really really not flattering. It seems like he sort of imploded and panicked and didn't try anything. On the other hand, I love him immediately insisting on getting the last name basis from Probst. He also appears to be like Rob Cesternino in a sort of mutual schoolboy sexism ("I'm weaker than a bunch of girls?!?" Well, yeah. Both Whitney and Elyse at bare minimum are probably more useful in challenges than you.)

Most interesting players on his tribe to me thusfar are Mark and Jim. Jim is actually thusfar the guy who I think might actually be the most impressive new player in terms of gameplay; his read on why Ozzy was putting forth the idea of keeping Semhar was very good and dead-on, since Ozzy's Micronesia game revolved around him putting together a group of people who he thought fawned over him (unfortunately for him, Cirie and Parvati didn't). Elyse, Whitney, and Keith were all pretty off in their own little "not interesting enough/relevant to plot enough to be on camera" sphere, though Keith definitely feels like Grant 2.0 here. I really like Dawn but also really think she's not going to make it to the merge.

I think you're thinking of Albert when you say Austin? Albert is interesting. He's potentially a physical challenge monster in a relatively unathletic season. I see him making the merge but not much further. If Coach's alliance plans work out, he's very lucky in that he's got some blatantly obvious people to get rid of; Christine is Kristina without the skill or relative subtlety and Stacey is the plantiest plant who ever did plant. They seem to be forming their own little two-woman alliance of doom(ed). Edna, who is also by most accounts a recruit, seems to have her head on straight. Helping Coach out after his challenge (a challenge that blatantly played to Ozzy's strengths vs. Coach) was such a smart little move by her.

[Pleatherface]

Someone please pay GoGo to do a Survivor podcast. I adore his opinions, and refuse to listen to Rob C.

[GoGo Yubari]

The funny thing was I was actually just listening to the South Pacific preview podcast he did with Corinne from Gabon. She came to the same conclusion I'm starting to have about Brandon Hantz; slow and stupid.

[The Quasi Juice]

I'm Brandon Hantz!

They hyped him as family of Russell, so you expect some Texan guy walking around the island making alliances from the start, but no. Brandon comes across as dumbass, who turned to the church because he partied way too much during his teenage years. He's lucky Coach was apparently fond of him. Considering the hype Brandon got, I guess he'll at least go to the merge, perhaps top 5 or so. I just hope he provides quality TV 'cause they'll damn sure bring up the Russell thing another million times. If they vote him out due to his last name, that would be very petty. Being his nephew doesn't automatically make him dangerous in the game, that's bs.

When Coach and Ozzy arrived, it was like last season; both tribes wanted 1 player -> Boston Rob, and this time Ozzy. So that automatically makes the other player a threat 'cause they didn't want him. Coach started off bad, and it didn't look good at all for him, but he recovered very well and could do good. If he lays off the Dragonslayer crap, and is himself more....hey, why not?

Ozzy is a clever airhead.

Cochran disappointed. For somehow so "savvy" and knowledgeable about the game, his strategic game sucked ass. He should have proposed a deal with Jim, Papa Bear, Dawn and him or something. They could overtake Ozzy's alliance with the pretty girls. Would be one of the weakest alliances ever but fun. Papa Bear is the shit, very good social game.

Why do the pretty Black girls with big tits always get voted out first?

[Pleatherface]

I broke down and listened to Rob C. and Nicole's preview... That man has made me change my opinion on Lil' Hantz. Now I'm desperately hoping for him to grow into his "Greatest Nephew of All Time." shoes.

[RPS]

Great first episode.

Nobody on the Blue Tribe really wows me outside of Edna and all she did was be nice to Coach. Very very smart move. I think that's probably because they didn't have to boot anybody. My belief is that the alliance formed on the beach won't last. Coach as much as he brags about being loyal as shown that he isn't loyal and is an emotional and unstable player. I think he'll stick around only because of his inability to really stick to a strategy and alliance.

The Red Tribe, to me, is the more interesting tribe because you've got so many interesting characters and so many... dull characters. I definitely see a division in the tribe already - the Outcasts/Interesting (Cochran, Papa, Jim and Dawn) vs the pretty people/dull people (Ozzy, Keith, Elyse and Whitney). Jim was down at the beach with the pretty people, heard the plans and immediately went to go and tell the Cochran and Papa was going on.

The people who ate up the most time in the premiere seemed to be people who lacked power - Dawn, Papa and Cochran. I think the editing was amplified to make it seem like Cochran was in more trouble than he was and at tribal council had a brief neurotic meltdown, but as Papa pointed out, he was never really in danger. It was probably one thing said that was amplified up.

Right now, cheering for Papa, Cochran and Jim and hopefully they form some sort of alliance with Dawn and vote off the pretty/uninteresting people. Last season we saw Ashley, Natalie and Grant lugged around until the last few episodes and they were duds in terms of entertaining us. I hope that Keith, Elyse and Whitney do not serve the same purpose.

Edited September 15, 2011 by RockPaperScissors

[Ron]

I really want to root for Brandon, but after last night - meh. I'll say right now I'm hoping Coach outlasts Ozzy. I'd much rather see Coach make a long run in the game, but I know that the Red Team will probably keep Ozzy a lot longer than they should. I'm glad it was Semhar and not Cochran last night as I feel Cochran will be a more entertaining character, but I was scared that Ozzy was going to try to keep her because he wanted to bang her. Dawn - I don't know why, but her breakdown annoyed me last night. It may be partly because she had been there for one day... ONE DAY. Yes, I understand the culture shock and adjustment needed to be made, but I feel like a nervous breakdown that soon is ridiculous.

Anyway, those I'd like to see stick around for a while are - Rick, Papa Bear, Cochran, Coach, Jim, and Mikayla. They seem to be the most interesting in my eyes.

[GoGo Yubari]

Brandon Hantz, ladies and gentlemen.

[Ron]

Brandon Hantz, ladies and gentlemen.

Bow chicka wow wow.

[Horus]

So this season is already off to a better start then the Boston Rob show featuring The Special Agent already. I won't lie, when I first heard that Coach and Ozzy were the returning players, I was kind of let down. Ozzy, well skilled in the challenge has always under whelmed me in the personitaly department, he still is, his whole "Yeah, Okay, whatever" attitude to well, just about everything is upsetting, as theres literally groups of past Survivor's who'd love to be in his spot right now, so hopefully he actually starts showing he wants to be there.

Coach on the other hand, well always a source of entertainment, impressed me tons this episode. He went from having a horrible start in losing that challenge to Ozzy (which isn't anything to be ashamed of, very few people can even hold there own against The Jungle Boy, but Coach did IMO), to finding himself setting high (IMO) with his makeshift alliance of five. Hopefully this time around he's actually here to play, and not just hog TV time, maybe this time we will see the actul Benjamin Wade, and not the Dragon Slayer. If the editing crew keep by the amazing job that have been doing the last few seasons with the story telling (i.e. Fabio's evolve from stoner boy to a man who has to overcome the odds infront of him, Rob's struggle to finally reach the mountain top) then I could easily see The Dragon Slayer becoming a thing of the past, and Coach could easily have found himself being loved for the person he actually is.

I'm liking this Jim guy already, he seems like the type who could really take himself far, as he seems to the abitiy to read people dead on, but then again, putting himself out there the way he did could easily lead to his downfall if a Papa Bear or Ozzy finally step up and challenge him - or, if he makes to the merge, only to find out that him, and whatever is left for his tribe, are up against a well oilded machine, much like the Zaps did last season. The power struggle within Ozzy's tribe should be fun to watch, if nothing else though.

I would have much seen The Creeper and his uncle on a season together, then back to back seasons, why not? If Big Brother (US) showed us anything with Dick and Dani, is that family members on reality shows also brings the drama, but whatevs, depending on how far he goes, and how interesting he is, I'm sure Creeper will be called back for the next All-Star in season, and Russ will be wait there waiting. Also, I don't know what it is about him, but am I the only one who sensed a little bit of the spirit of Fairplay in Cochran, just waiting to burst out at any given minute?

[Pleatherface]

This will sound dumb, unrealistic, and very self important but.... Nothing has ever made me want to audition and be cast for Survivor half as bad as tonight's episode.

My DVR lied to me. That Tribal Council wasn't explosive... It was.. It was just painful.

Brandon is defintely a Hantz. The clinging to his happy marriage and religion is clearly protesting far too much. Plus yeah.. If you're abut 4 minutes away from benefitting from a bald face lie without anyone suspecting you to be a liar or throwing your name around despite your best efforts to fuck up? KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! You aren't suddenly honest because you admit you were lying.

What's the over/under on Christine having actually seen an episode of Survivor before being cast?

Mikayla wins the Phile award of the night for "trustable." I didn't think I would be hearing that adjective tonight.

I love that the bestie voting bloc of two doesn't actually vote together.

I loved the little crab fleeing from Semhar's poetry.

Speaking of... If I'm Semhar? I'd be pissed. You don't repeatedly tap a sleeping stranger on a deserted island in the middle of the night. It's just not cool.

Coach slowly slipping into his Daddy Pants? Not a good sign. He was waaay to gleeful towards the end.

Ozzy is the one case where I can't argue that the Producers are engaging in Idol Hijinks. Because yeah, that fucker would climb every tree in Samoa, wouldn't he?

Jim forming the already formed cool kid alliance? Meh.

Keith mocking Jim and basically admitting to being the co-brains of the outfit? Slightly Less Meh, kind of funny, because he really is Grant.

Christine catching Edna in a lie, and then being all "HA BITCH! I caught you in a lie! What up?!?" was just awful.

Stacey? So much hate for her. Like lots of hate.

My jury is still out on Cochran, I'll give him some time.

Brandon's continued "She turns me on, so I hate her" creepiness? I'm thinking the editors LOVE this storyline.

Everyone's general outrage of the whisper that Mikayla may go home. "WHAT?!? But she doesn't suck like the rest of us girls! Let us keep the one physically strong athletic woman... So we can... Look good by comparison? Wait.. Why are we keeping her?"

[Mx. Canadian Destroyer]

http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/09/21/survivor-jeff-probst-tribal-council/

If you're serious about auditioning, you should check out this Jeff Probst Public Service Announcment.

[Ron]

Really Brandon, REALLY? Just because Mikayla is there does not mean you have to fuck her. Geez. His sole reason for wanting to get rid of her is because he doesn't wanna cheat on his wife..... then don't. I mean there are other members of your tribe that you should get rid of before her (Christine was one). You have/had a strong alliance that seemed pretty good at the moment and they didn't think it was the right time to get rid of her, so just suck it up and follow along until you can. Why become enemy #1 for a stupid reason. I mean yes, he is a Hantz and they are evil. But Russell screwed with people because he tried to manipulate them. Brandon has probably the WORST gameplay right now. And the worst part is that he GOT AWAY WITH HIS LIE... why screw that up? Now you have every single person gunning for you and before this episode you were probably sitting pretty good.

My desire to actually like this guy (because I'm a Russell fan) has been extinguished rather quickly. And he's just becoming really creepy.