GRIFT

Anything by Bright Eyes.

Jolie has done porn. There are many legit photos to prove that.

Enormous Penis by Da Vinci's Notebook... nothing like phalic a capella.

Led frickin' Zepplin.

Bruce Springsteen has always been a dirty pleasure. His lyrics suck me in and since you are a Cash fan you shouldl like him.

Full Metal Yakuza... The film is about a bumbling member of the yakuza who is nearly killed in the crossfire of a change of power. The man he looks up to is killed. A mad scientist buys the bodies and rebuilds them into one cyborg being with a huge penis.

HILARIOUS, even though I don't think it is supposed to be.

CRUNCHY GRUNGY PIMP

Bright Eyes

Cursive

Coheed and Cambria

Pearl Jam

Ol' Dirty Bastard aka Dirt Mc Girt aka Osiris aka Big Baby Jesus aka ODB aka BBJ.

Armed with a desire to make music without boundaries, Clann Zú came together in Melbourne in 1999 from various musical backgrounds - punk, rock, folk, electronic & classical. With an ensemble featuring violin and keys, along with a traditional four piece setup, Clann Zú create beautiful dark melodies ranging from the intimate and sparse, to the huge and dramatic. The bilingual vocals (Irish and English) of Waterford born, Declan de Barra are intense and passionate, with lyrical themes running from dispossession, cultural reclamation and resistance, to hopelessness and desperation. Although drama can often be a simile for pretension, Clann Zú execute it genuinely and gracefully, managing to create honest and punishingly beautiful songs.

Whoa, they're doing the Fear thing on the Surreal Life right now. Ironic.

←

Take your anger that you feel right now and pretend you've been feeling it since 1918.

IN THE MOVIES

Superman, and The White Trash Mustache Attack!

Alright, I have a quick bit of news here: Ultra softcore porn star Brandon Routh will be putting on the cape, and leaping into the hearts of comic book fan boys world wide. Brandon, who has gained limit stardom from his role as Wade, in MTV’s soap opera, ‘Undressed.’

Undressed was a show that ran in the ever important graveyard time slot, where it entered a violent ratings blood feud with reruns of I Love Lucy, and Ron Popeil infomercials.

Also, Justin Timberlake is walking in the brave footsteps of musicians who have leaped into the world of film. The question is will he be following Vanilla Ice’s feet? Timberlake is going to be playing the part of a drug dealing gangster In the movie Alpha Dog. Ever the professional, for research he plans to develope a cocaine addiction, which will culminate in him sucking dick for coke– opposed to his usual motive: pleasure.

RED SOX

The Red Sox made history and came back in a 3-0 series to advance to the World Series. As I sat there watching game seven I realized that if they ever had a professional wrestler with a Jesus gimmick Johnny Damon is the man to play the role. He seriously looks like a roided out Christ.

GRIFTER GOES TO THE MOVIES

So I went to the movies tonight with hopes of seeing Team America World Police, but when I got there they only had 3 tickets left and I was there with a group of 10 people from my dorm. Needless to say we ended up going to a different movie. As we stood there debating which movie to go see it turned into a vote. The winner: Forgotten. Spoilers... The movie starts out showing a woman who may or may not be crazed toiling over the loss of her son Sam. Then it transitions into a full on sci-fi cluster fuck, where aliens are testing the bond between parent and child. The closest thing I could relate this movie to is anal sex.

Now before you all go running away let me explain why.

Everyman who has ever had sex with a woman has thought about having anal sex atleast once. It is just something all men must do before you die. We don’t talk about it much, it is just an established truth of the universe. The thing is Forgotten starts out with the temptations of a new concept, and while it is great at first eventually it becomes far too tight and messy. In the end you just end up with shit all over your dick/screen.

THE GOOD

Prolific folksinger Connor Oberst will be offering up two different servings of his Bright Eyes styles: the emotionally packed more traditional Bright Eyes record I'm Wide Awake It's Morning and the more experimental and beat-driven Digital Ash in a Digital Urn. Both records are due on January 25

THE BAD

Christina Aguilera is starting her own fasion line aimed at teenagers.

THE UGLY

William Shatner is trying to get aboard the next space ship to go into space.

Until Next time this has been 'Live in the Griftzone' with

THE MUTHAH FUCKIN' GRIFTERMAN

After tonight all I can say I love that dirty water...

GRIFTZONE ADDENDUM

Yes, I forgot to mention...

Kenan 'Self Respect? HA' Thompson

Also on all Hollows Eve... that feud comes to its final conclusion.

Deities aren't born, we are begat.

Yay to The Smiths, Bruce Springsteen, Public Enemy, and Beastie Boys.

But I echo the cries for the forgotten Cure.

I plan on posting one of these every week or so and if I can't be arsed to do one I will just go B2K and post a remix edition of the previous post with cutting edge bonus features such as... more bold, italics, and underlining! OMG!!!!!11LOL!!!

So check back in this thread every now and then if you liked what you saw. Heck do it if you didn't, because it is the only way anyone will ever like you.

IN THE MOVIES

So I had just gotten back from an early am trip to 7-Eleven when I flipped on the TV and pandered to my insomnia by watching some fine cable programing. As I waded my way through infomercials that attempted to sell me Cd collections, penis pills, and soft core porn, I stumbled upon E!.

What caused me to halt on the faux entertainment channel was the incredibly bad ass countanence that could belong only to Marvel Comics favorite Day Walker Blade. In a tip of respect to the man who may just be as badass as yours truly, and being that I am a fan of the Blade series, I decided to watch the segment. While I was less than pleased with the lack of Guillermo del Toro's distinct stylistic presence, it was not the most disappointing moment of the evening.

This moment came when I saw this abomination: FAT ALBERT THE MOVIE

The plot of the film, and I think it is important that I stress that I am not making this up, is that the Tons of Fun and the Gang somehow manage to jump off a TV set and come into the real world.

But that's not all! (<<---The infomercials are getting to me.) The movie also features:

Aaron 'My Brother was Famous Once' Carter

Joel 'OMG!!1!!PUNKISALLABOUTBEINGONCRIBS!!111!LOL' of Good Charolette

Don't rember who B2K were either? Well let me give you a synopsis of their career. Epic records squeezed this group off into the pop culture toilet in 2002 hoping to merge hip hop attitude with boy band hand jobs. After songs like, 'Bump Bump Bump,' 'Bump That' and the lyrical masterpiece, Uh Huh,' they decided that it was time to drop a greatest hits album-- TWO YEARS AFTER DEBUTING. But why stop the re-whoring of the same music there? They also have two volumes of remixes, and for those of you out there who didn't get enough Bumpin' a remix CD totally dedicated to... BUMP BUMP BUMP.

MORE MOVIE CRAP

Need more reasons not to go to the movies? Well, your prayers have been answered because just when you think that pastel colors have finally died off completely, Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx have announced that they are poised to take on the roles of Sonny Crockett and Rico Tubbs in a film version of "Miami Vice."

Nostalgia is a fickle, twisted whore. Speaking of whores...

IN WHORE NEWS

Fans of artists with actual talent rejoice world round while overweight middle aged men in empty marriages lose one more reason to go to work in the morning as Britney Spears has annouced that she'll be putting her career on hold — again. She made the announcement late Friday in a "letter of truth" she posted on her fan site. Apparently she injured her knee in a video shoot. "It's amazing what advisors will push you to do, even if it means taking a naive young blonde girl and putting her on the cover of every magazine," she wrote. "My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all of the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly be your entertainment." Does any one else think that sounds incredibly bitter? Oh well, I think I'd be bitter too if I knew the only reason I had a career was a legion of hopeless bottleheaded teenie boppers and men who have never actually talked to a woman without giving out their credit card number. (See Kaneanite)

THE GOOD

Pearl Jam have set a November 16 release date for the two-CD Rearviewmirror (Greatest Hits 1991-2003). Disc one, the "Up Side," will feature the band's heavier rock tunes, such as "Alive," " Jeremy" and "Animal," while the second disc, the "Down Side," will include more mellow favorites like "Daughter," "Last Kiss" and "Yellow Ledbetter." (credit to MTV.com)

THE BAD

Christopher Reeves dies at age 52.

The Ugly

50 Cent is going to have his own mineral water.

Until Next time this has been 'Live in the Griftzone' with

THE MUTHAH FUCKIN' GRIFTERMAN

1413

I listen to some Cash, but other than that no. I can't stand most country music, or the messages they convey. I am not one of the good ol' boys, I don't enjoy tractors nor do I find them sexy. I hate the far right conservative standpoint many of the artists take.

Plus I live in the Appalachian mountains.

Almost anything > Bluegrass > Country.

I wish the new episodes of Aqua Teen would air earlier.

In a god awful coincidence I was listening to certain Our Lady Peace song when my friend Ryan IM'd me the Yahoo story on AIM.

52 was so young. It is a real shame. I had always believed deep down that he'd be able to recover some mobility as time progressed. I thought that maybe that during his life time the technology and medicine would advance to the point where he could have a limited improvement.

RIP.

If you think about it, it makes sense though. In the earlier season's DVD wasn't out so they didn't bother saving extra feature stuff and they have to think back further for the commentary.

Terri Hatcher is pretty hot though... Atleast IMO. Ever since Superman I have been busting seed in my pants over her.

Shaun Of the Dead because my girlfriend says so.

After all I have lost in the past two years with her I miss my spine the most...

How does everyone think they will present the Pheonix Saga in the third movie-- as we all know they have started off track from the comic mythos? Will they somehow guide it back on track or will they 'Striker' it up?

WCW “Time Crisis” Match featuring…..

Sid, Ric Flair, Booker T, Sting, Dustin Rhodes, Dusty Rhodes, Buff Bagwell, Jeff Jarrett, The Cat, Mike Awesome, Mike Sanders, Chris Kanyon, Lance Storm, Sean O’Haire, Chuck Palumbo and 5 mystery entrants!

WCW World Heavyweight Championship (Steel Cage Match)

Scott Steiner © vs. Goldberg

GOLDBERG... GOLDBERG...

WCW World Tag Team Championships

The InSiders © vs. KroniK

Got to keep Nash happy.

WCW United States Championship

General Rection © vs. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas

Every match he has that title loses image-- Which is sad because I loved him in these days in real life and thought his push was well deserved. Time to get the title off him, and as much as I hate Douglas he does have more chops in that ring.

WCW Hardcore Championship

Terry Funk © vs. Justin Credible

Funk is on a roll, and while it will stop eventually I doubt it will be against Credible because I just can't see him as being a 'credible' opponent for his unsurption<-

Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Straight Outta Samoa

A big clean win here would continue his push in all the right ways.