WWE 2007: The Evolution of the 'E

[Mechanical]

It seems I'm the only one against the roster junction. I'm in minority so I'll have to accept it...

Good work anyway and though I'm not a great fan of the roster junction we still have here a reader always waiting for a show to come out.

[MyKILLv2.0]

Monday Night Raw Febuary 07, 2007, Phoenix, AZ

-The scene opens up to Raw with the ring entirely surrounded by WWE members from both Raw and Smackdown. In the ring are the two main men in charge, Triple H and Paul Heyman. The crowd begins to stir, knowing something is about to go down after hearing the news of CM’s cancellation of Smackdown. The brief silence is brought to an abrupt end with the sounds of…

No Chance!

That’s What you Got…

No Chance In Hell!

The WWE Chairman steps out onto the stage and makes his way down to the ring. Jim Ross welcomes everyone to the show, and promises everyone that it will be an historic night. Jerry Lawler makes reference to the fact that McMahon hasn’t been seen on WWE TV since he handed Raw over to Triple H, and Smackdown over to Paul Heyman. By the time these two get done talking, McMahon is in the ring, and taken center stage.

Vince McMahon: I am going to make this quick, and to the point. There isn’t any need for BS, most all of you have heard by now. The CW Network has canceled ‘Smackdown’, thus leaving one of our two brands without a show. Before I get to what will happen, let me say one thing. CW, or more importantly the network heads that owns CW, Viacom…. You may have given the WWE a big ‘screw you’’ last week when you canceled our second biggest show, but tonight I am going to return the favor, ten fold. Viacom… SCREW YOU!

-Pops can be heard throughout the arena.-

Vince McMahon: I have never been someone who has bit my tongue, and dammit I refuse to start now! I’ll be damned if I am forced to take the blame for where the WWE is at tonight. Now, I’ll admit, it is a mess. I believe we are on the right track, but it isn’t what I believe a WWE product should be. However, I made the moves based on promises that YOU made me! You were the ones who told me that you were going to allow my WWE product to push the envelope even future! Yet, instead, you put more restraints on me, then a mental patient has in the pysic ward! You lied to me, and made me out to be a fool. Well Viacom, screw you! Screw MTV! Screw Spike TV! Screw the CW Network, and screw each and every single one of you! Because as of tonight, we are VIACOM FREE! And that means one thing….. THE RETURN OF ATTITUDE!

-The place explodes as Vince says he wants to bring back ‘WWE Attitude’.-

Vince McMahon: Now that isn’t just a warning to the network, that is a message to all of you wrestlers as well. Dammit, I said that we are going to return to our roots, and by god I mean it! From this point forward there will be no more brand split! There will be no more roster division. You are all WWE SUPERSTARS!

-Ross and Lawler go nuts over the announcement of the aboloishment of the brand split.-

Vince McMahon: Triple H, you will continue to over see Raw and serve as the President. Paul Heyman, you will come aboard, and serve as the General Manager. Both of you will work together, and both of you will like it! Because if I have to come back, it won’t be to fire one of you… it’ll be to fire BOTH OF YOU! You understand me?

Triple H: Vince, these Smackdown punks are more then welcome on Raw. However, this is a warning to all of you. Know your place.

Paul Heyman: Now! Now! Now, Triple H. I don’t know if you should undersell the Smackdown Superstars so fast.

Triple H: There isn’t any Smackdown superstar that could compete with any of the top three Raw Superstars.

Paul Heyman: Gee, that sounds like a challenge. Doesn’t it folks?

-Huge pop as Heyman baits Triple H.-

Paul Heyman: Tell you what, to prove just how even Smackdown and Raw are, lets battle it out. You pick three men, and I’ll pick three men. Sound fair? How about we go ahead and pick the teams right now. Lets have Smackdown represented by the United States Champion, CM PUNK! The Crippler, CHRIS BENOIT, and the World Champion, BOOKER T!

Triple H: Fine, I’ll form a team. Lets have them face the enforce of my law, Big Show. Lets pair him with the Royal Rumble Winner, Randy Orton… and just to make sure those two are familiar with Smackdown, lets select someone who is apart of Smackdown. How about the ‘No Gimmick Superstar’, Gregory Helms.

Paul Heyman: You’re on!

::COMMERICIAL BREAK::

[- 'You Better Learn to Play The Game, by His Rules' -]

-Raw Returns with Triple H and the Big Show remaining the ring, everyone else has left to the back. All that remains is the Raw President and his enforcer, the Big Show. As the Big Show walks over and demands a mic for the President, The Game just gives a death stare out at the arena, which is booing the hell out of him. After a few moments, the Raw President begins to address the ‘live’ crowd. -

Triple H: I know we just got a lot of new guys moving over from Smackdown, so I want to everyone to take notice of what happened last week. I want everyone to realize what I did to Ric last week, it wasn’t done out of personal spite. It wasn’t done out of jealousy. It was done, because Ric Flair forgot his PLACE! He forgot just who the hell he was messing with! I’m Triple H! I’m the reason, Raw is what it is today! Raw has always been MY SHOW! Always has been! Always will be!

You see, it is quite simple. I’m not that hard of a guy to work for. If you follow my direction, you’ll achieve more success then you ever imagined. Case in point, Randy Orton! The man is already a former World Champion, and now will get to life out his life long dream, and headline Wrestlemania! He followed my wisdom, and is better for it! Ric Flair, on the other hand, thought he was better then me. He thought because a bunch of idiots went ‘Wooooo’ everytime he entered the arena, that meant he could just do whatever the hell he wanted. WRONG! This is my show! This is my yard, and when you screw with me… there will be consciousness. So instead of being in this right with me right now, he is laying in a hospital bed in Charlotte! Let that be a warning to anyone who thinks about wanting to be a thorn in my side. I’m not Vince McMahon. I will not tolerate guys like rule breakers like Steve Austin, or John Cena!

As for John Cena, he has a choice. He can choose the path that Randy Orton choose, and become one of the most respected WWE Superstars in history, or he can choose to continue to be this rebellious young gun slinger. However if that is going to be his path, then I suggest he leaves the WWE Championship on my desk, because there isn’t any chance in hell that I am going to let someone like him continue to wear the belt that I helped build up into one of the most respected championships in this industry. What Cena has to do is…

WORD LIFE!

Its Just Basic Thuganomics....

-The crowd EXPLODES as the WWE Champion makes his way out onto the stage with the spinner WWE Championship around his neck. With every step he takes, it is obvious that he isn’t recovered from the beating that he endured last week at the hands of the President and his Enforcer. Cena rolls into the ring and goes toe to toe with Triple H. Neither man backing down, as the crowd is going nuts at this point. After what seems to be forever, Cena finally Cena pulls out a mic.-

John Cena: Hunter….

-WACK! Cena slaps Hunter right across the face with a slap! The crowd loves it as the Game is shocked. The Big Show goes to step in, but the Game motions for him to stay back.-

John Cena: That was for Flair…. Now as for you and me, I don’t know what your problem with me is, but its obvious you haven’t liked me since the moment I stepped foot on Raw. I don’t know if it isn’t because I wasn’t one of your little ‘Kliq’ members, or one of your little ‘Evolution’ cronies, but that’s never been my style. I’m my own man. Some say, I’m an Army of One. Playing follow the leader, isn’t my game. So if you aren’t cool with that, I guess you and me have a problem, because I’ll be damned if I just hand this belt back over to you.

Triple H: So you want to continue to be this ‘Army of One’, huh? You want to try to continue to fight for these fans, despite the fact that they boo you out of the arena every chance they get? You want to be stubborn, go right on ahead. That’s your choice! But as I said, if you want to make things easy for you, I would just hand me the WWE Title right now, because John… I promise you whether you hand it over to me, or I have to take it from you, there isn’t a chance in hell that I am letting you walk into, or out of Wrestlemania as the WWE Champion!

-The crowd doesn’t like this at all, and begins to let Triple H hear about it with a flurry of boos. Cena takes a deep breath as he looks at the WWE Spinner championship for the longest time, then slowly looks back up at Triple H. Cena drops the belt at the feet of Hunter. The crowd erupts with boos, as Cena just lets the title rest at the feet of the Game. Hunter grows that cocky smirk, realizing Cena is finally starting to listen to him.-

Triple H: Now see. Was that difficult? Now, if you let me teach you how to actually wrestle, maybe one day you can win this…

-Wack! Cena drills the Raw President with a right hand! The Big Show lunges in towards Cena, but the WWE Champion ducks out of the way. He picks up the WWE Championship and drills Cena right in the face! Show staggers backwards and falls to the canvas. Cena waits for Hunter to climb back up to his feet, before delivering the FU! The crowd explodes as the WWE Champion shows up the Raw President one more time. Chants of ‘Cena, Cena, Cena, Cena’ begin to fill the arena, as he grabs the spinner belt, and rolls out of the ring. He backtracks up the entrance ramp as his music begins to play. Slowly Triple H rises up to his knees.-

Triple H: CENA! You wanna play the Game? FINE! Then you just signed your DEATH WARRANT! Saturday Night Main Event will mark the end of your reign as WWE Champion. MARK MY WORDS!

-Cena looks on defiantly, as Triple H begins to shake from the rage after being attacked by the WWE Champion. Big Show tries to help the Game up, but the Raw President will have none of it, shoving away his enforcer, and standing up on his own, while never taking his eyes off of the WWE Champion.-

JimRoss: John Cena is finally starting to look like the Champion that everyone knew he could be. Can we say the Doctor of Thuganomics is back?

JerryLawler: As long as he doesn’t try to rap. There should be a law banning white people from rapping.

::COMMERICIAL BREAK::

Tag Team Title Unification Match

©Hardcore Holly & Test vs Rob Van Dam & Sabu vs ©The Konfederacy

ANNOUNCER: Our next match is set for one fall, and will be for the UNDISPUTED WWE/World Tag Team Championship! Entering the ring first are the number one contenders…. They are Rob Van Dam and Sabu!!!!

-RVD and Sabu emerge from the back and make their way down to the ring receiving a loud cheer from the crowd in Phoenix. The both waste no time going down to the ring, where they roll into the ring and begin to warm up.-

ANNOUNCER: And now, making their way to the ring at this time… they are the current World Tag Team Champions, the team of Hardcore Holly, and Test!!!

-Hardcore Holly and Test emerge from the back and begin to make their way down to the ring. The fans don’t really give them much of a reaction, which is embarrassing in a way since they are champions. Anyways, Hardcore Holly and Test reach the ring, and waste no time going right after RVD and Sabu. The four men begin to battle it out as Holly’s music dies down.-

ANNOUNCER: And making their way to the ring at this time, they are current WWE Tag Team Champions… the team of AG Wright and Kodi Wright.. the Konfederacy!

WRIGHT POWER! WRIGHT POWER! WRIGHT POWER!

As the WWE Tag Champions make their way out onto the stage, bedlam is breaking out inside the ring. Hardcore Holly delivers a stiff punch right to the jaw of Sabu, that sends him tumbling between the ropes and out onto the apron. He is able, however to catch himself before falling all the way to the floor, but never the less, is stuck on the apron. Sabu’s partner, RVD doesn’t care much for his partner getting drilled in the face, so he responds with a jab to the jaw of Hardcore Holly. Test meanwhile doesn’t like his partner getting drilled in the face, and charges into Rob Van Dam, sending all three men stumbling into the rope and falling out onto the floor below. While all of this is going on, the WWE Tag Champs appear to be in no rush as they are just now reaching the ring, and appear to be taking their time getting involved in the match. Meanwhile, right in front of J-R and King, Rob Van Dam, Hardcore Holly, and Test are all making their way to the their, but the crazy Sabu is waiting on them at the top rope! All of a sudden Kodi Wright explodes through the ropes and nails a suicide dive on the three men, sending them crashing to the floor. Inside the ring, AG Wright grabs Sabu from underneath and executes a powerbomb back into the ring! AG holds onto the move, as the ref slides in for the pinning position…1-2-3! AG releases the hold and rolls out of the ring, as the ref hands him both championship belts! Kodi slowly makes his way up onto the ramp, to join his brother!

The Konfederacy DEFEATS RVD/Sabu & Test/Holly to WIN the WWE/WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!

JimRoss: Someone call the police, because what we just witnessed is nothing short of HIGHWAY ROBBERY!

JerryLawler: Hey, they won the match. They don’t get paid by the hour, do they?

Single Fall Match Up

'Sir' William Regal vs 'The Samoan Bulldozer' Umaga w/ Estrada

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

Estrada and Umaga make their way out onto the stage, where they receive actually a mixed reactin from the crowd. Estrada doesn't pay the reaction any attention, but stops at the top of the entrance ramp and pulls out a microphone.

Estrada: People of the W….W….E, the last time you saw me… I told you that I would LEAVE Raw if my Samoan Bulldozer lost! Well, low and behold, looks what we have! Smackdown came back to Raw, so me and the Samoan Bulldozer don’t have to move! That’s good news for me! That’s good news for you! That’s bad news for the other wrestlers of the W-W-E! Because you see…. Now that Umaga is back on Raw, he has one mission in mind, and that is to capture the WWE Championship! And my Samoan Bulldozer will do anything to achieve it… if it that means he has to KILL YOU! KILL YOU! KILL YOU!

Estrada and his ‘Samoan Bulldozer’ makes their way down to the ramp as William Regal awaits the challengers in the middle of the ring. Umaga rolls into the ring and goes right after Regal. The bell sounds to begin the match. Umaga throws a wild lariat at Regal, who ducks easily. Regal connects with a straight jab to the gut of Umaga, followed up by a shot to the kidneys, then another shot to the gut, before a final European Uppercut, connects with Umaga. Regal begins to showcase his boxing skills to the fans, as J-R reminds us that Regal has been a professional fighter since he was 15. Regal turns back towards Umaga to find not only did Umaga never leave his feet, but his attacks did nothing but piss off the huge Samoan. Umaga charges and knocks down Regal with a shoulder thrust. Regal pulls himself back up to his feet, but Umaga explodes with a Flair Chop, then an open handed chop, a ‘Flair Chop’, then another open handed chop. Oddly enough, it is the Brit who is finding himself on the receiving end of these chops. Regal now finds himself in the corner, and that is when Umaga takes the opportunity to pancake Regal into the turnbuckle! Regal stumbles out from the corner, and right into the arms of Umaga, who drops him with a belly-to-belly slam! 1-2-KICKOUT! Estrada screams at the ref from the outside that he is an incompetent boob, and should be fired! The crowd actually cheers as Estrada continues to lay into the ref verbally.

Back in the ring, the Samoan Bulldozer wastes no time arguing with the ref. Umaga pulls Regal up to his feet, or at least tries. As he is being pulled up, Regal explodes with a headbutt to the groin! With Umaga slumped over, Regal rams Umaga into the turnbuckle. The King says that Regal isn’t as dirty as Ric Flair, but J-R interrupts and says that may be true, but Regal is still as dirty as the south. Regal seems pretty proud of himself at this point but as he turns around, he cannot believe what he sees. Umaga is standing… furious. Umaga charges and again bulldozes Regal over to the ground. Regal springs up to his knees. The expression on his face is priceless. He is totally shocked as he has used damn near every trick in the bag and Umaga still seems unfazed. Regal pulls himself up to his feet and begins to tell the ref that Umaga is c heating. The ref goes over and makes sure that Regal isn’t telling the truth, however while doing this he isn’t able to see Regal reach into his tights and pull out a pair of brass knuckles! Regal places the ‘knucks’ over his hand, as Umaga shove the ref aside and charges toward Regal. Pop! Regal drills Umaga square in the head with the brass knuckles, yet remarkable Umaga isn’t fazed! If anything, it just appears to irritate the “Samoan Bulldozer”. Umaga goes wild, beating his chest and screaming out in his native tongue as Regal looks on shocked. Regal doesn’t know what to do, so he gives another swing with the brass ‘knucks’ but Umaga is able to duck out of the way, and lift up Regal for a ‘Samoan Drop’! Regal is squashed to the canvas as Umaga springs up to his feet. He waits as Regal crawls over to the bottom turnbuckle, before charging and exploding with his version of the face wash! The crowd rises to their feet anticipating Estrada ending it. He waits to let the crowd hype it some, before screaming… KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! The crowd actually loves this, giving Estrada a nice pop. Umaga pulls Regal by the foot to the middle of the ring. Umaga then walks over to the ropes, and climbs up to the middle rope. Umaga goes crazy, then leaps off connecting with a mid-rope body squash! 1-2-3! Umaga Wins! The crowd actually gives him a nice little pop, which is odd to hear.

Umaga DEFEATS “Sir” William Regal

[- 'Beware Ladies... Ken Kennedy is on the Prowl' -]

The scene fades backstage where we see Maria standing next to Ken Kennedy. Kennedy is admiring himself in front of a mirror. He lightly moves a few hairs, so that everything is perfectly in place. He brushes back his eyebrows. He then gives the mirror a flirtatious wink, as he continues to admire himself in the mirror.

Maria: With me at this time is none other then Mr. Ken Kennedy…

Ken Kennedy: KENNEDY!!!!!

Maria: That’s what I said.

Ken Kennedy: What?

Maria: I said that’s what I said.

Ken Kennedy: You said what?

Maria: Kennedy.

Ken Kennedy: I know. That’s my name. What do you want?

Maria: Well, you have a match tonight against Matt Hardy. What are your feelings about that match?

Ken Kennedy: Excitement. Pure and simple! Maria, I know this may come as a shock to you, but Ken Kennedy has been on a dry spell as of late with the ladies. It’s been well over three weeks since I have been out on a date. So needless to say, Ken Kennedy is on the prowl! And lets be honest, there isn’t any wrestler a single man in the WWE wants to face more then Matt Hardy.

Maria: What does being single and Matt Hardy have to do with anything?

Ken Kennedy: Have you not been keeping up with him, Maria? The man has more trouble holding onto girlfriends, then Terrell Owens has holding onto touchdown passes. I mean first it was Edge who stole Lita. Then Gregory Helms stole the Princess of Punk, Ashley Massaro away from him. Tonight, Ken Kennedy will be the next an in line, when he steals…

-Pause.-

Ken Kennedy: ......just who is Matt Hardy dating now anyways?

Maria: Nobody that I know of.

Ken Kennedy: WHAT! No girlfriend? If he doesn’t have a girlfriend for me to steal, what’s the use of wrestling the tool, then?

-Kennedy walks off obviously irrated as Maria just looks on with that cute, clueless expression.-

::COMMERICIAL BREAK::

Ken Kennedy vs Matt Hardy

OOOOOHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

The crowd explodes as Matt Hardy emerges out onto the entrance ramp. He throws his classic ‘V1’ sign up in the air, as Matt Hardy quickly makes his way down to the ring where Ken Kennedy is waiting. Matt Hardy rolls into the ring, and climbs the bottom rope, once more flashing the ‘V1’ sign. However before the bell can ring, Ken Kennedy demands a microphone.

Ken Kennedy: Aren’t you forgetting something?

-Matt Hardy looks at Ken Kennedy oddly, totally clueless as to where Kennedy is going with this.-

Ken Kennedy: Listen up Hardy, let me explain how things work around here. Everyone has their place. Triple H is the boss. Jim Ross is the announcer. Your ‘place’ in the WWE is the guy who gets his girlfriend taken away by guys like me!

-Hardy looks on as his expression is growing more angrier by the moment.-

Ken Kennedy: Guys like me, you know… winners. Our job is to STEAL girlfriends from losers like you. So as the Rock used to say… know your role, and go find yourself a girlfriend for me to steal!

Hardy is furious at this point. He explodes with a shot right to the face of Ken Kennedy. The crowd goes wild, as they give Hardy a huge pop, after the charismatic superstar has obviously heard enough. Kennedy is stunned by the show of courage from Matt Hardy, however after a moment he explodes with a shot to the head of Matt with the microphone! Hardy stumbles over, and moments later is drilled in the side of the face with a FACE WASH! Kennedy drops the mic at this point, and grabs Hardy by the hair, pulling him up to his feet. EVENFLOW! Kennedy spikes Hardy’s head into the canvas, then rolls out of the ring after the ref had no choice but to call off the match. Kennedy backtracks up the entrance ramp, screaming at Hardy that he is a worthless! The crowd boos Kennedy out of the building obviously disagreeing with Mr. Kennedy.

The match ends in a NO CONTEST

[- 'Thou Shall Not Break God's Laws' -]

-The scene fades backstage where we see the victorious Tag Team Champions, the Konfederacy walking down the hall. They are still gloating after their victory tonight, establishing themselves as the top tag team in the industry. The two brothers turn the corner and run into none other then WWE Diva Champion, Mickie James. She apologizes and moves on quickly, however as she passes, Andrew Glenn Wright wraps his around her and forces her against the wall.-

AG Wright: Why if it isn’t Ms Mickie James… how are you doing this even, my little southern bell?

Mickie James: Leave me alone, please.

AG Wright: Is that any way to talk to your brother?

Mickie James: You and I most defiantly aren’t related. Now let me go!

AG Wright: Oh but you see my sister we are related. True, the same blood that flows in our veins may not have a common bond, but the common skin on the outside connects us! We are one in same, Ms James. We are on the same side of the war, don’t you see?

-Mickie goes to speak, but AG covers her mouth with his free hand. He moves in closer towards Mickie, pinning her between himself and the wall behind her. Kodi Wright stands at his brother’s side.-

AG Wright: And my sister, I feel it is my obligation to inform you that you are breaking the law… God’s law! You read the good book, Mickie? Because if you did, you would clearly read where it states that you shall only be with your own kind! DeShaun Christian may be a good man, but one look at him, and its obvious you and him aren’t of the same kind. So if I were you, I would break it off immediately, because we all know what happens when people break God’s law.

Mickie James: You’re a creep!

AG Wright: And you… Sister James…. you’ve been warned!

Kodi Wright: WRIGHT POWER! WRIGHT POWER! WRIGHT POWER!

-AG releases Mickie, who is frozen in fear. Wright gives her that sick sadistic smirk of his, then walks off with his brother. James slowly sinks to the floor and begins balling. After a few moments, we see DeShaun Christian rush onto the scene, and begins to console his girlfriend.-

JimRoss: Those Konfederacy boys are evil to the core, I tell you! They are as evil all of ex-wifes!!!

JerryLawler: Poor Mickie, I hope someone teaches these jerks a lesson!

Non Title, Gold Rush Match

©"The King of Cool" Carlito w/ Melina vs Shelton Benjamin

I SPIT IN THE FACE… OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO BE COOL!

The crowd gives off a huge reaction as Carlito makes his way out onto the entrance ramp with the lovely Melina. Well lovely most of the time, now she is just the extremely pissed off Melina, who you can tell by the expression on her face wants nothing to do with being Carlito’s slave till Wrestlemania. Carlito welcomes in the warm reception from the fans, then turns back to Melina and points to himself, obviously taking credit for the huge ovation. Carlito walks down to the ring with Melina reluctantly following him. Carlito rolls into the ring and raises the IC title belt high in the air, then throws it down at his corner. He tells Melina to watch it, but Melinda starts to do something unexpected. She begins to take off her shirt! The crowd loves it as she rips off the shirt, only to reveal a second shirt underneath. At first glance the shirt appears to be nothing more then a light blue Carlito shirt, with the apple plastered in the middle. Carlito grins and gives Melina thumbs up, however upon second glance of the shirt, he realizes the shirt reads ‘Carlito Sucks’, and ‘King of Drool’. Carlito begins to tell Melinda just how un-cool that is, but Shelton drills him from behind as the match begins.

J-R tells how making Melina his slave may come back to hurt Carlito in the end. The visual on the screen only future agrees with ‘Good Ole JR’, because Melina appears happy as Shelton stomps away at Carlito. Shelton delivers kick after kick to the back of Carlito, who is defenseless at this point. After Benjamin grows tired of kicking on the King of Cool, he pulls Carlito up to his feet, only to execute an uppercut to the Intercontinental Champion! Carlito falls backwards and lands on the top rope, but is totally dazed from the initial offense of Shelton Benjamin from the early going. Shelton takes the time to tell Carlito how good of a job he is doing, before delivering a kick to the gut of the wide-open Intercontinental Champion. As the Carlito slumps over, Shelton grabs him by the head, and spikes him into the canvas! Melina cheers on Shelton from the outside as he springs up to his feet. J-R makes note of the cocky expression that is plastered all over Shelton’s face at this point. Benjamin grabs Carlito by the hair, and pulls him up to his knees. He gets in Carlito’s face and begins to tell him just how much of a joke he thinks Carlito is, before laying a straight bitch slap across the face of Carlito sending the Intercontinental back into the middle rope. Carlito is now facing the outside, and Melina begins to lay into him verbally as well, telling him that he isn’t cool. Shelton walks over and tells Melina to back off. The lovely vixen does exactly that and watches as Shelton grabs a hold of the top rope. Shelton leaps over the top ropes, but showing his incredible athletic ablity, drills Carlito in the face with a dropkick! J-R explodes at this point, telling everyone how Shelton Benjamin is the most gifted athlete in the W-W-E today, and that move was just an example. The King chimes in saying that Shelton told him earlier in the day, he would use that move, and that he calls it the ‘803’. Carlito is now motionless in the middle of the ring, as Shelton climbs up to his knees and does his Shawn Michaels praising the lord expression.

The crowd is reigning boos down upon the ring as Shelton soaks up the reaction. He finally crawls over to the Intercontinental Champion, and rolls him over. J-R gives us his prediction that this one is over, as the ref counts: 1-2-KICKOUT! The crowd lets loose with a huge cheer, as Shelton cannot believe what just happened. He holds up three fingers, but the ref assures him that it was only a two count. Shelton isn’t buying that at all, and gives the ref the middle finger expression. Shelton however has no choice but to go back to work. He picks up Carlito by the hair, and hurls him between the top and middle turnbuckles. Carlito’s face is facing the outside, and once more, Melina begins to verbally abuse Carlito from the outside. Shelton turns his attention back towards the ref, and tells him exactly what is on his mind. J-R explodes on the headset as Melina begins to choke Carlito, now that the ref is distracted! He says he can never remember a situation where a manager is attacking his or her own client during the match. Melina finally releases the chokehold, but not before she drills Carlito in the face with a punch, that sends him flying back into the ring. Shelton is still laying into the ref with a verbal abuse; only equal to the one Melina gave Carlito on the outside. The ref says that isn’t anything he can do, and tells Shelton to go back to wrestling. Shelton begins to tell the ref never to tell him what to do, but Carlito rolls up Shelton from behind! 1-2-KICKOUT! The crowd lets loose a sigh as the Carlito roll up, only got a two count. Shelton has had enough. He grabs Carlito and pulls him up, before laying into him with a right hand. Carlito blocks it! Carlito explodes with a right hand of his own! Shelton is dazed! The Intercontinental Champion explodes with a second shot, then leaps high into the air, executing a picture perfect dropkick! Melina begins to go crazy at this point, screaming for Shelton to get up, but Carlito squashes any hope of that when he drops down on Shelton with a leg drop.

The crowd is loving it at this point as Carlito is in full control of the match. He mounts Shelton and begins to lay into the challenger with right hands to the face. Melina screams from the outside that Carlito is cheating, and tells the ref to stop him. Carlito finally rolls off Shelton and climbs up to his feet. He walks over to the ropes and pounds his chest, awaiting Melina to respond. She does, and tells Carlito that he sucks, then points to her shirt. Carlito turns his attention back towards the center of the ring, as Melina grabs her purse and begins digging through it. Shelton begins to stagger up to his feet, but Carlito catches him with a fisherman’s suplex that he holds onto for the pin! J-R says that Carlito may have this one: 1-2-No! Melina reaches under the bottom rope and pulls the left foot out from under Carlito, forcing the pinfall to be broken. The crowd lays into Melina as Carlito jumps up onto his feet. He begins to lay into Melina from the ropes, telling her to cut it out. Melina doesn’t say a word, but rather pulls her hand from behind her back and sprays Carlito with some bottle, right in his eyes! J-R screams out “What the hell is that!”. King says he believes it is a bottle of perfume, but whatever it is, it is now all over the eyes of Carlito who is blinded. Shelton rolls up onto his feet, and moves in from behind with a SHELL SHOCK (Angle Slam). Shelton makes the cover: 1-2-3! The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos as Melina begins to cheer Shelton’s victory from the outside. Carlito rolls around on the canvas, in pain from the spray of perfume. Shelton rolls out of the ring, where Melina gives him a huge hug. Shelton begins to walk up the entrance ramp, as Melina rolls into the ring. She stands over Carlito, who is still trying to get the spray out from his eyes. Melina just looks down at Carlito and grins with satisfaction.

Shelton Benjamin DEFEATS Carlito!

Shelton earns a shot at the Intercontinental Title at SNME!

JimRoss: That damn ‘Jezebel’ just cost Carlito the victory! And now because of her interference, Shelton Benjamin will have a shot at the Intercontinental Championship at Saturday Night Main Event!

JerryLawler: You said it J-R. Carlito may come to regret making Melina his slave. In fact, he may already regret it.

::COMMERICIAL BREAK::

[- 'No Gimmicked Required.... Just Answers' -]

We return from the commercial break with the sounds of howling winds….

Make Me A...

SUPERSTAR!

-As the sounds of Saliva are heard, out marches the longest reigning Cruiserweight Champion in history, Gregory Helms, with his Princess of Punk, Ashley Massaro. The crowd greets them with a chorus of boos, to which they seem to soak up receptively. The young, hot couple makes their way down to the ring, seemly with not a care in the world. After a few moments to walk up the steps, they enter the ring and take their spot in the middle of the ring.-

Gregory Helms: So I finally return to Raw, and this is how all you greet me? Well screw you too! I didn’t miss a single one of you. In fact here lately things couldn’t be better for ole’ Gregory Helms. I’m the longest reigning champion in WWE History! I’ve got the most badass woman in the world at my side! And it seems everyone wants a shot at the ‘No Gimmick Superstar’. Hell, guys are even coming out of retirement, just to get a shot at me.

-Helms is interrupted by a chant of ‘Mick, Mick, Mick, Mick, Mick’. The mere mentioning of Foley’s name brings rage across the face of Helms.-

Gregory Helms: Yeah, that’s right. He wants a piece of me! And can you blame him? After all, look at him now. He’s forgotten! No one cares about him anymore. He even said it himself, he get pinned to the floor more then a hooker at a frat party. Everyone has a win over Foley, and now he wants to go out on top! He wants to beat me, to prove he still has it. Well Mick the answer to your challenge is NO! I won’t face you at Wrestlemania! However, if you are really wanting a piece of me… then come out here and face me like a man, and I MIGHT give you a shot at ‘Saturday Night Main Event’!

SKREEEEEEEECH…..

CRAAAAAAASH!!!!

-The crowd explodes as Mick Foley emerges out on the entrance ramp. The look in his eyes tell the story. There is a fire burning that quite honestly wasn’t there at the Royal Rumble. He acknowledges the crowd, but its obvious he isn’t here to play nice with the home folk, but rather he is here for bussiness. Foley rolls under the bottom rope and walks over to the corner to get a microphone. He then joins Helms in the center of the ring.-

Mick Foley: Now I know I’ve whacked in head a lot over my career, so maybe I’ve developing a cause of amnesia, but it seems to me that it was YOU who answered MY challenge, not the other way around. You are the one who came looking for me. However that just a technicality at this point, because whether you came looking for me, or I came looking for you, it seems that we both are now looking for one another, and if you want to have our match at ‘Saturday Night Main Event, then that’s fine with me, because I didn’t want wait that long anyways!

Gregory Helms: Mick, think twice about this. Take a good, long, hard look in the mirror, because you aren’t the wrestler you were five years ago. This is a new day. This is a new time. I’m the longest reigning Cruiserweight Champion in history! You are nothing more then a ‘Gimmick Wrestler’, who caught a few lucky breaks.

Mick Foley: A gimmick wrestler? You say I’m nothing more then a gimmick wrestler? Well Gregory, I may have made a living off of jumping off roof tops, and leaping off of cages, but I have accomplished a hell of a lot more in my career, then you ever will! I know you are the longest reigning cruiserweight champion, but I’ve been the champion over ENTIRE COMPANIES! True, I may have had to do some crazy stuff in my day, and if you want to call that a ‘gimmick’, then be my guest, but when I was jumping off roof tops and cage cells, I was winning World Titles. What have you done, besides steal Matt Hardy’s girlfriend, and dominate a bunch of lightweights?

Gregory Helms: You want to question me? Me? The No Gimmick Superstar? Don’t make that mistake Mick. Remember this! I’m ten times the WRESTLER… the MAN… and the CHAMPION, that you ever were! I’m faster! I’m stronger! I’m better! And most of all, I’m smarter! You and I… we aren’t even playing the same game, Mick. You are playing checker, while I am playing chess. While you are worrying about what you are going jump off next, I’m three moves a head of you! Always have been….ALWAYS WILL BE!

- Greg and Ashley take a step back, as they drop the microphone. Foley looks on in confusement for a second, but realizes it’s a trap. Too Late! Foley is drilled from behind with a steel chair! The crowd lets loose with a roar of boos as they see the man who attacked Foley from behind is none other then TYSON TOMKO! Tomko drops the chair, and him and Gregory Helms begin stomping away at the defenseless body of Mick Foley. J-R is screaming about how Gregory Helms planned all of this, and it isn’t fair. Finally Helms subsides the attack and stands over Mick Foley victorious. He places one foot over the chest of Mick Foley and raises his arms in victory, as the crowd reigns down on the ring with boos.-

JimRoss: This isn’t right dammit! Gregory Helms set up Mick Foley! He set him up to get his ass whipped!

JerryLawler: Mick Foley should have knew better, J-R.

::COMMERICIAL BREAK::

[- Its Time To Give Some Answers, Brother -]

The Time Has Come to Change My Way…

On This Day, I See Clearly….

Everything Has Come to Life!!!

-The crowd gives a huge reaction as Edge emerges from the smoke. J-R says that he feels for this match, who fought so hard to win the rumble, only to have it robbed from him by a man who we all thought was like a brother to him, Christian Cage. Edge rolls into the ring and takes his spot in the middle of the ring.-

Edge: Don’t expect me to come out here and piss and moan about how I was robbed of the Rumble. Yeah, it sucks, but there is a locker room full of wrestlers who have been screwed ten times worse then me. And the truth is, I’ve done enough screwing around in my career, so the way I see it, what happened at the Rumble was Karma biting me in the ass! I’m not out here to whine about what happened, I’m here to get answers! You see there is one man in this industry I am loyal too. One! There is only one man who I claimed my alliance too! We traveled the road together. We won championships together. We were brothers. Now true, over time we grew apart. After the brand split happened, we were sent to different rosters. He eventually left the company and went down south, even winning their championship.

-Some muttering goes on as TNA is finally recognized by the WWE.-

Edge: But don’t get it twisted! I was happy for him! I felt the same pride when he won that belt that he had for me when I won the WWE Championship. Traveling around this country, we both talked about how one day we would be Heavyweight Champions, and dammit, we achieved our dreams! I couldn’t be happier for him, so when I turned around at the Royal Rumble to see who threw me out, Christian Cage… you were the last man I expected to see. And for the last week I’ve had to sit and wonder why you would do this to me. I’ve had to sit back and think about every single possibility. Cage, I’m tired of waiting. Get your ass out here, face me like a man, and tell me exactly…

5……………

4…………

3………

2……

1…

CHRISTIAN!

-The crowd erupts into a loud chorus of boos as Christian makes his way out onto the entrance ramp. As soon as he reaches the ramp, the boos in the arena grow even louder as “Capitan Charisma” makes his return to WWE TV. Edge locks eyes with him, giving him a death stare. Christian cracks that cocky smirk of his and begins to strut down to the ring, almost enjoying the fact that he now knows Edge was bothered by Christian’s interference at the Rumble. Christian rolls into the ring and goes face to face with the man who he once claimed to be a ‘brother’ of his. After awhile, he slowly pulls out a mic. –

Christian Cage: So you were happy for me? That’s good to know… of course it would have been nice to actually receive a phone call and heard it from you! Oh, but don’t worry Edge, I understand. You couldn’t actually call me, because you were busy. After all, cheating on your wife with whatever ‘skank of the month’ you happen to be shagging at the point, is awful time consuming, isn’t it?

-The crowd explodes into bedlam as Cage explodes on Edge with a real life ‘shoot’ comment.-

Christian Cage: That’s right, I went there. So don’t come at me with this ‘Alliance’ bullshit. You couldn’t even spell the damn word, let alone executes its meaning. Hell the only person in this world you’ve ever been loyal too is Adam Copeland. Screw everyone else! You’ve always been about yourself. You never once cared about what happened to me, your wife, your friends, or anyone else. You want to know how many phone calls I received from you after I left this place? None! Zero! Zip! It would have been nice to actually hear some words of encouragement from a man who I once considered a friend, during my darkest time, but did I receive a single word from you? Not one! Why? Cause you were off in your own little world, (beep)’ing Amy all the way to the WWE Championship, then (beep)’ing her the night after you won the damn thing! But of course, like everything else, after she served her purpose, you got rid of her too! See Adam, that’s the problem with you … you’re only about you. And what happened at Rumble™ was just a TASTE of the Karma you have coming your way, because now that I am here full time… I plan on making your life a living hell!

-The two drop their mics and go toe to toe. J-R gives his classic ‘Bussiness Is About to Pick Up’ line as the two former best friends go face to face as the arena fills with excitement. Neither man moves, daring the other to make the first move and ignite this explosive situation. However there is a spark given to the situation in the form of…

IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

The crowd roars with disapproval as Raw President, Triple H steps out onto the stage with his Law Enforcer, Big Show. The two stop at the top of the entrance ramp as Triple H looks out at the crowd and their reaction to him. The look on his face tells the story, pure distain. He slowly pulls the microphone up and begins to speak.

Triple H: I’m sure there is nothing more these idiots here in Phoenix would love to see more then to see you two beat the hell out of one another in that ring, but seeing how I am the man in charge, I want to offer up a suggestion first to both of you before you engage in this little, pissing contest you got going there. Now I understand you two don’t like one another… and you guys did a pretty good job of explaining exactly why. So I’m all for you two beating the hell out of one another, however I am going to offer both of you the chance of a life time! You see, I have a problem, and that problem goes by the name of John Cena...

-The crowd cheers the name of the WWE Champion, which draws out that look of distain from Triple H. He refocuses himself and goes back to talking.-

Triple H: Now let me just be honest with you, I don’t really like either one of you two. However, luckily for you, I don’t dislike either of you, either! So if you two want to beat the hell out of one another, go right on ahead, just save it for Saturday Night Main Event, and while you are beating the hell out of each other, make sure and beat the hell out of John Cena as well! Because I’ve giving you guys your match… you got it! At Saturday Night Main Event, it will be Edge vs Christian Cage........... vs John Cena for the WWE Championship!

-The arena explodes as HHH announces the main event for SNME. Edge and Christian look shocked as the Raw President drops a bombshell on them, that they will be involved in a triple threat match at SNME for the WWE Championship. –

JimRoss: Oh My! The Main Event for Saturday Night Main Event is SET! I can’t wait to see that one!

JerryLawler: Cena won’t like that. In triple threats, he loses his championship advantage.

6 Man Tag Main Event Match

Booker T, CM Punk, Chris Benoit vs Gregory Helms, The Big Show, Randy Orton

Hey!………………………………Hey!

Hey! There’s Nothing You Can Say

Nothings Gonna Change What You’ve Done To Me

Now My Time to Shine… I’m Gonna Take What’s Mine

Take What’s Mine!

All other participants are the ring, awaiting the entrance of the 2007 Royal Rumble Winner, Randy Orton. The golden pyros fall from the ceiling as Orton soaks them up, along with the crowd’s reaction. After soaking up every last bit of attention he could get, he turns his attention towards the ring, where he makes his way down to the ring. He hops up on the apron, and tells Helms to go in first. Greg begins to argue, but from behind explodes the United States Champion, CM Punk leveling Helms to the ground. Punk connects with stiff kick after stiff kick, sending Helms crawling towards an empty corner. Punk doesn’t wait to be attacked, and drills Orton square in the jaw with an elbow, which catches the ‘Legend Killer’ off guard. Orton goes to enter the ring, but the ref stops him. Punk goes back to work on Helms in the corner as Orton continues to try to get a piece of Punk. The United States Champion begins to lay into Helms in the corner, with more stiff kicks. The Big Show is able to move along the apron, and slams Punk’s head into the top turnbuckle from behind! The ref is still distracted with Orton, and this move goes totally un-noticed. Punk falls forward, and lands in the middle of the ring. Helms crawls over to the corner, and makes the tag to the Big Show, one which the ref sees. Big Show steps over the top rope with ease and walks to the center of the ring where Punk is trying to muster the strength to get to his feet. Big Show helps him up, but then sends him back down to the canvas with a monstrous head-butt that puts a dents in CM Punk’s skull… or at least that’s what J-R tells us.

Punk crashes to the canvas as Big Show takes control of the match. He gives a look back over to his corner, where Orton seems disinterested in wanting in, and Gregory Helms seems to still hurting from the opening exchange. Big Show moves his attention then back towards the United States Champion. Show picks up Punk and hurls him across the ring, and into the turnbuckle! J-R goes crazy over the strength of the Big Show, saying that he is as strong at least four of his oxen back home on his farm in Oklahoma. Show makes his way over to Punk, and proceeds to lick his hand. CHOP! Show delivers a chop right across the chest of Punk, that sends chills up each and every single spine in the arena. CHOP! Show delivers a second one to the chest of Punk. Punk rolls over on his sides and crawls over to his corner. Big Show could probably stop him, but allows him to crawl over to the corner, almost daring someone to make the tag. Someone does… that someone is none other then the ‘Crippler’ Chris Benoit. Chris charges the Big Show and drills him with a shoulder thrust, that does little to nothing. Benoit bounces off the ropes once more, but Show this time explodes with his own shoulder thrust that sends the Crippler crashing back down to the canvas. The Big Show lets out a roar that resembles that of ‘King Kong’. With that out of his system, he goes back to work on Benoit. He picks up Benoit and lifts him up into the air. However once in the air, Benoit goes wild, and begins to headbutt Big Show, who is unable to block Benoit, due to holding him up. Benoit rams his own head into the skull of Big Show, finally forcing Show to release the hold. Benoit falls back into the ropes, then springboards himself into the air and drills Big Show with a flying headbutt that is more like a headbutt missle! However the move is successful, and sends the Big Show stumbling backwards into the corner turnbuckle.

Gregory Helms realizes his partner is in danger, and unlike Orton, who really has shown no interest in the match at all, Helms goes to enter the ring, but as he does, he is pulled down from the apron. Helms is spun around and begins to be whaled on by none other then MICK FOLEY! Foley drills punches to Helms, and finally for the first time in the match Orton shows some interest. He jumps down from the apron, and walks over to Foley, giving his former enemy a slug to the back, and allowing Helms to gather himself long enough to begin exchanging punches of his own. Orton turns his attention back towards the ring where Benoit has tag in the World Champion. Orton now is interested back in the match, but is torn between staying outside and helping Helms, or going back to see if he can get the tag. Chris Benoit points to Booker to go after the ‘Law Enforcer’ of the WWE, while he stands and watches. Booker does exactly this and begins to work on the Big Show in the corner. Helms and Foley back on the outside, begin to fight all the way up the entrance ramp, and are now at the top of the entrance ramp. The two men exchange punches, with neither man giving an inch. One will throw a punch, then the other will throw one. This continues for what seems forever, with neither man showing any signs of wearing down.

With Gregory Helms fighting Mick Foley up on the entrance ramp, team Raw seems to be down a man, however this doesn’t affect the Rumble winner at all. He rolls into the ring, spins around Chris Benoit and drops the former United States Champion with a RKO! RKO! RKO! Benoit is motionless, and Randy Orton is proud of his accomplishment of putting the RKO on an unaware Chris Benoit. He pounds his chest, and does the classic Orton pose as the crowd erupts into a loud chorus of boos, hating everything about Randy Orton. He turns around slowly, only to see CM Punk standing over Benoit, waiting patiently. Orton thinks twice, and drops to the canvas, before exiting the ring. The crowd boos its head off, as J-R calls Orton everything but a coward. Orton just shakes his head, saying that he doesn’t want any part of this handicap match, which leaves the Big Show alone in the ring. The ‘Law Enforcer’ begins to bring himself back up to his feet, after being drilled with all those kicks to the face. He reaches his feet, but is still very groggy as the World Champion waits for him to fall into position. Book End! The World Champion makes the cover on the Big Show: 1-2-3! The crowd cheers as Booker T and CM Punk celebrate the victory with, Chris Benoit & Big Show still motionless in the ring. Booker T dares the number one contender to come ‘get him some’, but Orton just shakes his head no, telling Booker that he isn’t worth it. The scene switches back to Gregory Helms and Mick Foley who are battling it out on the entrance ramp. Out from the back explodes Tyson Tomko! He drills Foley from behind leveling the unsuspecting Foley for the second time tonight with a steel chair. Foley crashes to the steel ramp. With Foley down, Helms motions for Tomko to step away. Ashley has joined her man at the top of the ramp, as Orton stands behind her watching the whole thing unfold. Helms grabs Foley by the hair and pulls him up to his knees. He throws him between his legs, then lifts him over his head before dropping him off the stage with a Three Count Drop (Border Drop). Foley is sent flying off the stage and through a production table! The cameras rush over to show Mick Foley motionless underneath the debris of table, cables, and TV monitors. The scene fades back up to the ramp, showing the ‘No Gimmick Superstar’ Gregory Helms, Ashley Massaro, Tyson Tomko, and ‘The Legend Killer’ Randy Orton all looking down at the mess below with a look of disgust, yet satisfaction.

Booker T, CM Punk, Chris Benoit DEFEATS Big Show, Randy Orton, Gregory Helms

JimRoss: They killed him! They Killed him! That Son of a Bitch Killed Mick Foley!

JerryLawler: J-R this is serious, I don’t see, Mick moving.

End of Raw.......Good Night Now!

[MyKILLv2.0]

WRESTLING NEWS & NOTES: 02/08/07: News on SNME, Jericho, Konfederacy, Plus Cage in Trouble!?!

• The biggest news to come out of the WWE, the past few weeks has been the announcement of Chris Jericho's return. WrestlingExposed has confirmed that it will take place at SNME, and it will be apart of the 'Highlight Reel', where Chris Jericho will interview World Champion, Booker T! Some may speculate that this could mean his role for Wrestlemania may involve the World Title, then again that is only speculation.
• A handful of matches were announced for SNME, including John Cena vs Edge vs Christian for the WWE Title, Mick Foley vs Gregory Helms, Shelton Benjamin vs Carlito for the IC title, as well as Matt Hardy vs Ken Kennedy. There are more matches rumored, but nothing concrete as of yet.
• For those wondering about Cage's 'Shoot' comment about Edge and his problems with 'cheating', WrestlingExposed has learend that Adam Copeland not only wasn't upset, but he was the one who urged the writers to put it in there. So that squashes any theory of possible heat between the two. The two are reported to be good friends, so the comments seemed very much out of place. This explains a lot now.
• The WWE apparently is growing more and more fond of the new tag team 'Konfederacy'. They love the instant heat that the team creates, and Johnny Ace and J-R are both very high on the worth ethic of both AG Wright and Kodi Wright. Expect them to stay in the spotlight for a long time.

[MyKILLv2.0]

After a month in hiatus I have brought back my WWE2007 diary. I have also made a slight addition to my shows, thus being the addition of JR's Commentary after every match/segment. I didn't feel like I was getting what I needed too out of the simple commentary interaction, so I went with this. Lets see how it works.

Monday Night Raw Febuary 14, 2007 from San Diego, CA

[- "The Champ Is Still HeRRE!" -]

Word Life!

Its Just A Matter of Thuganomics!

-The arena explodes into bedlam has half the arena goes crazy with respect over the WWE Champion, while the other half goes bonkers with hatred over the WWE Champion. Through both sides of the spectrum, emerges the WWE Champion, John Cena. The Champ raises the belt high in the air, then shows off his throwback baby blue #21 LT jersey as he marches down to the ring. He rolls into the ring, and begins to pace back and forth, as the crowd’s reaction dies down.-

John Cena: So Hunter doesn’t like me…

-Pause.-

John Cena: Well that’s ok, because the truth is I really don’t like that son of a bitch either!

-Loud pop for Cena as the champ gets a little more rowdy.-

John Cena: But unless I’m mistaking our relationship, we aren’t dating. We don’t have to like one another. You can hate me. I can hate you, but as long as I am carrying this belt, it looks like we are stuck with one another!

-Cena holds up the spinner WWE Championship belt. The crowd gives off their mixture of boos and cheers. Cena pauses for a little bit, then continues to speak.-

John Cena: The ironic thing is Hunter… you and me, we are a lot like. Deep down, we really don’t give a damn about what people think about us. True, you do go way out of your way to ensure people hate your guts, but when it comes right down to it, whether people cheer us, or boo our asses out of the arena, we are still only in this industry for one reason and that is the WWE Championship! We both judge ourselves on how we are as champions, and whether you or any of these people like to admit it or not, over the past two years, I have been the best damn wrestler alive!

-Cena raises the Championship belt up towards the cameara. The negative portion of the crowd erupts into boos as Cena mentions his name and “best wrestler alive” in the same sentence-

John Cena: Now I know what you are thinking. I can already hear the cracks about how I only know three wrestling moves, and you know what Hunter? Yo’ ass may not that wrong, but whether I know three moves, or three million the fact remains over the past two years, I’ve beaten guys who claim to be the “King of World”, the “Greatest Professional Wrestler Alive”, who claimed to be ‘Rated R’, ‘Samoan Bulldozers” and one cocky son of a gun who claimed he was the ‘King of Kings’, and you know what they all had in common? Every single Monday Night after we went grill to grill, whether it was Umaga, Jericho, Angle, or even you.. every single Raw after we faced for the final time, I came out to this ring, raised my title in the air and proclaimed that the CHAMP IS STILL HERRE!!!!

-Cena raises the title high in the air, which brings out a mixed reaction once more from the arena.-

John Cena: And now, you want to claim that you are going to take the belt away from me? You act like this is something new! Since the moment I won this damn thing, I’ve had guys trying to take this belt from me! It seems everyone wants to take this belt off me, wrestlers, management, hell even half these damn fans want to take the belt from me! Time after time they’ve tried, and time after time, they’ve FAILED! So Hunter, give me your best shot. Give me Edge! Give me Christian! Hell send the Big Show down to the ring as well, but bet your bottom dollar that come next Monday night, when Raw kicks off, I’m going to be standing in the middle of this ring with MY WWE Championship title belt held high, saying one more time that the CHAMP IS STILL HERRE!

-Cena throws up the ‘Word Life’ sign and then raises the belt high in the air, as the fans give their take on whether they like or dislike Cena.-

J-R's Commentary: Whether you like him or hate him, and I personally like him, but everyone has to admit that to this point John Cena has been one hell of a WWE Champion, and it wouldn’t shock this “Boomer Sooner” one bit if he walked out with the WWE Title after the triple threat match this Saturday against Edge and Christian.

Tag Team Match

'The No Gimmick Superstar' Greg Helms & 'The Problem Solver' Tyson Tomko vs The Hardy Boyz

OOOOOHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

The crowd explodes as Matt Hardy and brother Jeff Hardy step out onto the stage. For the first time in a long time, the Hardy Boyz are reunited, and the crowd is loving every moment of it. Jeff and Matt both seem to be as excited as everyone in the arena, as they jump around wild with excitement. However their excitement is brought to an abrupt halt with the sounds of…

MAKE ME A…

SUPERSTAR!

Gregory Helms emerges from the back along with his ‘Problem Solver’ Tyson Tomko, and the Princess of Punk, Ashley Massaro. J-R notes the shirt that Ashley is wearing, which has the words ‘Remember Me?’ written along the front. The King makes a remark about how J-R is probably the only man in the arena to actually read the words, despite everyone looking at the shirt. Helms and Tomko roll into the ring, and go right after the Hardyz who are not caught off guard one bit by the early attack. Jeff and Matt fight back, Matt sending Helms knocked the corner with a strong lariat. Jeff and Tomko begin to exchange punches, with Tomko easily winning this battle, however Matt Hardy is able to explode from the side with a clothesline that rocks the big man. Both Hardy Boyz bounce off the ropes, and connect with a double dropkick to Tomko, sending him falling out of the ring. Jeff Hardy exits the ring, and lets Matt Hardy begin the match against once rival, Gregory Helms. Helms fights up to his feet, but Hardy squashes him in the corner, as soon as the ‘No Gimmick Superstar’ reaches his feet. J-R begins to hype Helms’ match this Saturday at ‘SNME’, and spells out the stakes of the match, which are if Mick Foley loses, he must retire! Hardy controls the match from the outset sending Gregory Helms into the ropes, then executing a picture perfect back elbow, that catches Greg square! Matt Hardy grabs Helms, and pulls him up to his feet, before bodyslamming him back down to the canvas. Matt climbs up to the middle rope. With Gregory Helms knocked out on the canvas, Matt Hardy sets up for his patented leg drop from middle rope. He lets out a scream and leaps off, however Tyson Tomko reaches in from the apron, grabbing Hardy by the throat and slamming him to the canvas with a modified chokeslam! Hardy bounces off the canvas hard, as Helms begins to move. The No Gimmick Superstar crawls over and tags in his ‘Problem Solver’. Tomko enters the ring, immediately giving a stomp to the gut of Hardy. Tomko then proceeds to pull Hardy up by the hair, before nailing his own version of ‘Snake Eyes’! Hardy bounces off the top turnbuckle, totally dazed. Tomko delivers a kick to the gut, then after Hardy is slumped over, he throws his head between his own legs. POWERBOMB! Hardy is rocked as the ‘Problem Solver’ rocks the former Tag Team Champion with a mega powerbomb! Tomko goes for the cover, but Helms screams that he wants the cover. Tomko reluctantly obeys, tagging in Helms. 1-2-KICKOUT! Helms can’t believe Hardy kicked out! Helms just gives a deer in the headlights glare at the ref, not believing that Hardy managed to kick out. Gregory Helms climbs up to his feet, and walks over to the ropes, still stunned at Hardy’s resiliency. Tomko offers to tag back in, but Helms shakes him off. After getting a few words of encouragement from both Ashley and Tomko, Helms goes back to work on Hardy. He grabs Matt by the hair, and pulls him up. However Hardy explodes by grabbing Helms by the head, and executing that Hardy jawbreaker! The crowd explodes as the “No Gimmick Superstar’ crashes to the canvas, and Matt Hardy and the Hardy Boyz seem to have one more life left in them! Hardy pulls himself to his feet, and notices that Helms is doing the same. Jeff is pleading for a tag, but Matt stays in the match. Matt Hardy waits for Helms to climb back up to his feet. Greg finally reaches his feet, but is greeted by a powerful clothesline from Matt Hardy that sends the ‘No Gimmick Superstar’ crashing to the canvas. Hardy throws up the ‘V1’ sign in the air, as the fans eat it up. However Hardy’s attention is grabbed by the emergence of Ken Kennedy who has made his way out onto the entrance ramp. Kennedy is holding up a hand man sign that reads ‘IF YOU ARE DATING MATT HARDY, PLEASE CALL 1-888-KEN-4YOU’. Hardy points at Kennedy and begins to tell him to get lost. His brother obviously has had enough of this, and begins to head up the entrance ramp. Kennedy tells Jeff to back off, telling him that ‘family members are not allowed to call’. Matt has his attention focused squarely on Kennedy, and never sees Tyson Tomko exploding from behind, drilling Hardy in the back of the head with a boot to the skull! Hardy crashes to the canvas, motionless. The Problem Solver pulls Helms on top of Hardy, as the ref begins to make the count. Jeff soon realizes what is happening and charges down the ramp to make the save! 1-2-3! Too Late! Jeff isn’t able to save his brother, and Gregory Helms picks up the victory! Kennedy laughs from the top of the entrance ramp, as Tomko pulls his leader out of the ring, and helps him to the back, as Ashley walks a few steps behind Tomko carrying her man’s WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Gregory Helms & Tyson Tomko DEFEAT The Hardy Boyz

J-R's Commentary: Oh brother! What a screw job the Hardy Boyz just received at the hands of Ken Kennedy! I can’t wait until Matt Hardy gets his hands on Kennedy, but I’ll tell you what I’m not loving! The fact that if Helms and Tomko can do this on Saturday, our good old friend Mick Foley won’t have a job anymore. Don’t get me wrong folks, I love and trust Mick, but there is something about this match that rumbles in my belly.

[- 'There Really Never Is a WRIGHT Time to Say Goodbye, Is There?' -]

The scene fades backstage in the Diva Champ’s locker room, where we see DeShaun Christian along with girlfriend Mickie James. The two seem to be enjoying each others company when all of a sudden James’ cell goes off. DSC goes to answer it, but hands it to Mickie.

DeShaun Christian: Hello? Sister James? Mickie doesn’t have any brothers. Who’se…

-Mickie jerks the phone out DeShaun’s grip.-

Mickie James: Leave me alone!

-Mickie hangs up the phone, as you can tell that she is obviously shaken.-

DeShaun Christian: Who was that?

Mickie James: DeShaun… I think its best if you and I don’t see each other anymore.

DeShaun Christian: What! Where is this coming from? I thought we were….

Mickie James: Its not you, It’s me. I just… I just don’t think we are right for one another.

DeShaun Christian: I don’t understand. What happened?

Mickie James: Please, just go

-DeShaun stands up, totally hurt and confused. He walks out finally, and as soon as DeShaun leaves the room, Mickie bursts into tears, throwing the phone at the wall.-

J-R's Commentary: I got a feeling in my gut, I know who was on the other end of that phone, and if I’m wright… I mean right, I hope that son of a gun burns for this!

Johnny Nitro vs Umaga

-Lightbulbs begin to flash all over the entrance ramp...-

**FLASH**--**FLASH**--**FLASH**

Nitro emerges from the back as the red carpet rolls down the entrance ramp. Nitro stands at the top of the entrance ramp, trying to look his normal smug self, however it is obvious that he isn’t the same without Melina at his side. Nitro charges down the ramp and slides into the ring, doing his normal sexy pose. However someone forgot to tell Umaga that you were suppose to give him a five second pose, because as soon as Nitro got into position for the pose, Umaga charged in, dropping a leg drop on Nitro! Umaga stays on the attack, and begins to choke Nitro while he is on the canvas. Estrada screams out from the apron to GET HIM! Umaga grabs Nitro and pulls him up to his feet, before unleashing the gates of hell on Nitro with a hard chop that sends him staggering backwards into the corner. Umaga backpedals a few steps before charging at Nitro delivering a BODY SQUASH! Nitro falls down into the corner after being sandwiched. Umaga once more backpedals, then charges delivering his version of the face wash right to the face of Nitro, who rolls over in pain. Umaga signals for the ending to the match. The crowd rises to their feet anticipating Estrada ending it. He waits to let the crowd hype it some, before screaming… KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! The crowd actually loves this, giving Estrada a nice pop. Umaga pulls Nitro by the foot to the middle of the ring. Umaga then walks over to the ropes, and climbs up to the middle rope. Umaga goes crazy, then leaps off connecting with a mid-rope body squash! 1-2-3! Umaga Wins! The crowd actually gives him a nice little pop, which is odd to hear.

Umaga DEFEATS Johnny Nitro

J-R's Commentary: I gained two things from watching this match. First off, Johnny Nitro isn't the same wrestler, he normally is with Melina, and secondly Umaga has figured out that he doesn't get paid by the hour, because that is two complete dominations in two straight weeks! What I can't figure out is why are people cheering for him?

[- "Who Will Have the EDGE at SNME?" -]

-The scene fades backstage where we find the ‘Rated R Superstar’ standing next to the loveable Maria. Edge has a look in his eyes that tells the whole story. He is always someone who is focused, but there is a hunger in his eyes that we haven’t seen in a long time. Maria waits for a few moments, then begins to ask away.-

Maria: With me at this time is the man who will face both Christian Cage and John Cena at Saturday Night Main Event for the WWE Champion, Edge!

-A Pop from inside the arena can be heard.-

Maria: Edge, last week Christian Cage finally spoke out about why he came back and cost you the Rumble. He said some pretty hurtful things. What do you have to say to him?

Edge: Maria, Christian Cage said lots of things last week in that ring. Most of them, I’ll agree with. The fact is I am a terrible friend. I have cheated on my wife. I have stolen my best friend’s girl. I have turned by back on guys who I considered friends, for my own benefit. I am a terrible friend, but at Saturday Night Main Event, we aren’t participating in a friendship contest. We are competiting in a WRESTLING contest, and whether little ‘Captain Charisma” wants to admit it or not, I’m one of the most decorated wrestlers of my generation! I’m a former two-time WWE Champion. I’m a former multi time Intercontinental Champion, former multi time tag team champion! I’ve won King of the Ring. I’ve headlined pay per views on all three brands in the WWE. Argue over my qualities as a friend all you want, but no one can dispute the fact that I am one HELL of a wrestler, and at Saturday Night Main Event, I plan on killing two birds with one stone…

-Pause.-

Edge: Because at Saturday Night Main Event, I am going to put to rest my former supposed ‘Best Friend’, Christian Cage, and capture the WWE Championship all at the same time. So Christian Cage, go get your most fancy entrance attire you have in that large closet of yours, and make sure you look nice when you come down to the ring, for all of your Peeps, because after that bell rings, I am going to make you look like the pathetic excuse for a wrestler that you are!

-Edge storms off as Maria just looks in the camera with that loveable, clueless expression.-

J-R's Commentary: Normally I don’t care much for this son of a gun, but even the late Ray Charles could see the buring in Edge’s eyes during that promo. I know one thing, I wouldn’t want to be Christian Cage come this Saturday.

[- "Hollywood, The Land of Big Houses, Movie Stars, and Potato Sacks? " -]

-The scene fades backstage where we see Melina consoling Nitro after the beating he received at the hands of Umaga earlier in the night. Melina is rubbing the shoulder of Nitro when Carlito walks into the room.-

Carlito: Johnny, scram. I need to talk to Melina.

Johnny Nitro: Carlito, this has gone far enough. This beef is between me and you, just let Melina come back to me.

Carlito: She can come back to you anytime she wants…

Melina: Really?

Carlito: Of course! Only thing is… you still gotta shave your head.

-Melina’s expression turns from sudden shock and enjoyment, to discouragement and anger. She motions for Nitro to leave the room, to give her time to talk to Carlito. Nitro steps up to Carlito and the two exchange death stares for a long time, before Nitro finally walks out of the room.-

Carlito: Yeah, scram Johnny! Go find Carlito some apple seeds!

-Carlito cracks that cocky smirk of his, as he takes a huge bite from his apple. He turns back around towards Melina who has her hands on her hip, and giving Carlito a death stare.-

Carlito: That Johnny Apple Seed, he a…. WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM! Last week, I had Shelton Benjamin right where I wanted, and then you… you…. You spray Carlito with that spray from behind your back. What the frick is wrong with you?

Melina: Eh, stuff happens. It was an accident.

Carlito: An accident! You sprayed me right in the eyes! Carlito hasn’t had that much gunk on his face since Trish…..

-Long Pause.-

Carlito: Well… in a long time!

Melina: What do you want me to say?

Carlito: I want you to say…. I want to say….

Melina: What? That I’m sorry? Well I’m not. I hate you Carlito! I’m not down there because I like you. Remember, I…

Carlito: You’re right. Maybe Carlito and you got off on the wrong foot. Maybe its my fault. So… I um… picked you up something.

-Melina is caught totally off guard by this sudden change of expression. She gives Carlito a look of pure bewilderment as he begins to stutter as he hands her a large sack from “Macys”. Melina’s eyes widen as she reads what store it is from.-

Melina: You got this for me?

Carlito: Yeah.. Carlito’s been a jerk. I figured it was the least I could do. Maybe you could wear it next week in LA…, since you like to dress up and all that.

Melina: Carlito! You shouldn’t have….. have….

-Melina reaches into a bag and pulls out a large potato sack. Carlito’s expression changes back to his normal self, of pure cockness.-

Melina: You got me a potato sack?

Carlito: Yeah! I figure you could wear that next week during my match with Shelton.

Melina: No way! Next week is LA! Movie Stars! Movie Producers! Paparazzi! Cameras! There is no way I am going to show up wearing a potato sack!

Carlito: Well then you got a choice then mama… you either show up in a sack… or show up bald. The choice is yours… but if I were you, I would wear the sack, because bald chicks aren’t cool… they are cool at all.

-Carlito gives Melina a flirtious wink then leaves the room, leaving Melina to stare blankly at the potato sack.-

J-R's Commentary: Ha! Now that is reason enough for anyone to watch this Saturday, if only to see Melina in a potato sack! Now I know the good book probably says making a mockery out of another person isn’t the right thing, but this jezbel has had something like this coming for a long time. Good for you, Carlito!

-2 on 1 Handicap Match-

Bobby Lashley vs The Konfederacy

WRIGHT POWER! WRIGHT POWER! WRIGHT POWER!

The Wright Brothers march down to the ring and are greeted by an entire arena booing the hell out of them. The brothers don’t seem to mind and make their way down to the ring, where AG feels the need to speak before their handicap match.

AG WRIGHT: At the Royal Rumble, many people say that our debut was a failure, because neither me or Kodi won the event. Well I say that is bulljive! We have not have won the event, but we accomplished what we set out to do! We made sure that the person who won the match was… well lets just say one of acceptable color.

-The crowd boos the hell out of him.-

AG WRIGHT: We made sure that Bobby Lashley wasn’t the one who WON the rumble, so the way I view it, because of who DIDN’T win the Rumble, we achieved our mission! Tonight, we display our superiority when we face this geneticly manufactored black man, in a one on two match! By the way… what kind of name is Bobby? Isn’t his kind suppose to have a goofy name like DeShaun, or RaShaad, or…

Apparently the former ECW Champion has heard enough because out onto the stage marches Bobby Lashley, who receives a hero’s welcome from the fans in the arena. The crowd begins to chant ‘LASHLEY-LASHLEY-LASHLEY’, as he marches down the ramp, eventually leaping up onto the apron in his classic fashion. As soon as he enters the ring, the Tag Team Champions explode with their two on one assault, both men attacking Lashley. This two on one attack however backfires, when Lashley is able to fend off both members, sending each stumbling backwards after reciving right hands to the face! Lashley makes his way towards Kodi, and delivers another shot to the face. However after doing so, he has his knee taken out from under him with a chop block from AG Wright! Lashley crashes to the canvas, grabbing his knee. The Tag Team Champions go to work on the injured leg of Bobby Lashley. AG lifts up the leg, then delivers a stiff kick to the soft part of the knee. Kodi adds in with a stomp to knee as well. AG then tells Kodi to take Lashley’s knee and place it on the bottom rope, to which his brother obeys. In an old school, Bret Hart move, AG leaps off the bottom rope and lands on top of Lashley’s knee, sending the crowd pouring boos into the ring. AG does his classic Bret Hart arms wide open pose, which brings even more boos into the ring. Kodi stays on the attack, pulling Lashley up to his feet, before laying into him with a stiff right hand that sends the former ECW Champion backwards into the ropes. Kodi explodes with a knee to the gut, which sends Lashley slumping over in pain, and gasping for breath. AG walks over and delivers a cocky, disrespectful slap to the back of the head of Lashley. He then tells his brother to back off, as he backpedals. He motions for Lashley to get up, and once he does he charges. Lashley sees him coming, and scoops him up, SPINEBUSTER! Lashley rolls up to his feet, as AG rolls out onto the floor. Kodi charges Lashley, who scoops up the other Wright Brother! Lashley dumps him over the top rope and onto the floor, right in front of AG! This match has gone on long enough for the Tag Team Champions liking. They exchange a few words on the outside, before Kodi slides into the ring. Lashley goes right after him, and the two powerhouses go toe to toe, exchaning right hands. Eventually Bobby Lashley wins this battle of strength, and whips Kodi into the ropes, but after he does, he is drilled in the face with the WWE Tag Team Championship belt! The ref calls for an ending to the match after he sees the blantant breaking of the rules. This doesn’t stop the assault on Lashley, who is now motionless on the canvas. The Wright Brothers begin to lay boot to skull, as they lay into Lashley. There appears to be no end in sight, when the arena is sent into absolute bedlam and out from the back explodes DeShaun Christian! DSC slides into the ring, As soon as the champs see this, they pull their fastest exit strategy, exiting the ring quickly. DSC stands over Lashely, daring either of the two men to re-enter the ring, before something catches his eye… the WWE Tag Team Championship belt. DSC picks up the belt, noticing Lashley’s blood on the plate. He holds it up towards the champions, daring them to come get it. The champs elect to leave the belt, and backpedal up the entrance ramp, as Lashley begins to make it way up to his feet.

Bobby Lashley DEFEATS the Wright Brothers…Via DQ

J-R's Commentary: I hate these two men, AG & Kodi Wright, and I can only hope that Paul Heyman makes a match at SNME between these four men, because I would love nothing more then to see Lashley and DeShaun Christian shut up these racists once and for all!

[- "Making a Deal With the Devil Has Consequences? " -]

-The scene fades backstage in the Big Show’s locker room. Big Show is getting tape up as the Raw President, Triple H is giving him some words of encouragement before his huge match with Booker T later tonight for the World Championship.-

Triple H: Big Show, tonight is your night! Tonight, is the night that all of your loyalty to me is paid back. Tonight, you are going to walk down to that ring, and dismember Booker T… King Booker… whatever the hell he is calling himself now a days.

-Big Show nods in agreement.-

Triple H: You are going to tear him limb from limb, then after you beat him to a bloody pulp, you are going to lift him ten feet in the air, and drop him down through the canvas just like you did the Undertaker a long time ago! You are going to leave Booker T a bloody mess, just like you did Ric Flair! And when you leave, you are going to leave the World Champion! From there, you will go on to be the greatest World Champion in the history of professional wrestling! Bigger then Flair! Bigger then Sting! Bigger then Hogan! Bigger then them all! You are…

Christian Cage: One big son of a bitch

-Big Show and Hunter turn their heads around to see Christian Cage standing behind them. As soon as Cage’s face is shown, the arena burst out into eruptions of boos and jeers.-

Christian Cage: No offense, Show.

-Triple H turns his attention now towards Christian Cage, who seems to be at a loss for words.-

Triple H: And what do you want?

Christian Cage: Triple H I just wanted to thank you for giving me the opportunity this Saturday at Main Event. I assure you that not only will John Cena not walk out of the event with the title belt, but that it will be me walking into Raw the new WWE Champion.

-Christian stares off to space, imagining him winning the WWE Championship. The crowd boos at the thought of this, however both are snapped back to reality when Triple H snatches Cage by the collar.-

Triple H: Listen very closely… I told you this last week. I don’t like you. I didn’t give you a shot because you earned it. I gave it to you, because I wanted to accomplish a mission! That mission is simple! Defeat John Cena. You do that, your reward is being the WWE Champion. But if you fail… you will face my wraith…

Christian Cage: Your wraith… I wouldn’t want to face that.

Triple H: You fail, and you will, because if you or Edge do not walk out of Saturday Night Main Event with the WWE Championship, you will face the next World Champion… my Enforcer… Big Show, in a No DQ Match! And you’ve been around here long enough to know how those end…

Christian Cage: Yeah… well don’t worry about that. Because next week on Raw, we are going to have a party… celebrating the new WWE Championship reign of CHRISTIAN CAGE! Thanks Again, Game. Show… you stay sexy now.

-Christian gives that fake ‘player’ expression as he points towards the Big Show then walks off with his classic smirk. Show and Game watch him leave, both have expression of irration plastered all over their face.-

J-R's Commentary: If I were Christian, I would make sure that he walks out of SNME with the WWE Title because I would rather re-marry one of my ex-wives then have to face the Big Show in a No DQ Match. We all know how that ends up.. and it ain't pretty at all folks!

[- "Who Is Really Two Steps Ahead of Who?" -]

-We return from a commercial break with the No Gimmick Superstar, Gregory Helms standing in the middle of the ring with his ‘Problem Solver’ Tyson Tomko and Princess of Punk, Ashley Massaro. The Cruiserweight Champ just stands in the middle of the ring looking out at the crowd, who is booing the hell out of him. Ashley puts her hand on her man’s shoulder and tells him not to listen. Helms nods his head but continues to look out at the crowd. After a long time, he looks back in the ring, where he adjusts the Cruiserweight Championship Belt, then pulls out a microphone.-

Gregory Helms: Go ahead and boo me all you want. Hell, some of you may think I deserve it after what I did to Mick Foley last week. After all, I did take a former WWE Champion… a sure fire WWE Hall of Fame Member one day, Mick Foley, and I left him a beaten, bloodied mess, and if you want the god’s honest truth… I don’t regret one damn bit of it!

-The fans erupt into a loud chorus of boos as J-R screams out how Gregory Helms is rotten to the core.-

Gregory Helms: You see… there are certain points in a man’s life where he has to make a choice. There are certain moments that define him as a man, and last week was one of those weeks for the No Gimmick Superstar! Last week, I showed that I didn’t need to act like some superhero, or jump from rooftops to get people to notice me. Last week, I put the entire W-W-E on notice… Gregory Helms will not be over looked! Gregory Helms will be RESPECTED! Last week….

SKREEEEEEEECH…..

CRAAAAAAASH!!!!

-The crowd erupts as Mick Foley steps out onto the entrance ramp along side Steve Austin. One look at the Hardcore Legend, and had you not seen what happen to him last week, you could have easily believed that he was in a car accident. His eyes are bloodied, his body is bruised, and with every step he makes towards the ring, you can see the pain plastered all over his face. Mick Foley finally joins the trio in the ring and stands in the middle of the ring, as Tomko and Helms stand toe to toe with the two wrestling Icons, Foley and Austin. Neither team backs down. -

Mick Foley: Gregory Helms, last week when I came down during your match, I came down with every intention of teaching you a lesson. However, much to my own surprise, it was ME who was taught the lesson… unfortunately a very painful lesson that involved yours truly being thrown off the entrance ramp and through a table. However, as I awake long after Raw went off the air, and I stood up with blood still filling my eye cavities, every muscle in my body screaming out in pain, I had a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time… and I gotta admit, I love that feeling!

-The crowd goes nuts as that sick, sadistic smirk appears on the face of Mick Foley.-

Mick Foley: So Mr. Helms, THANK YOU, for giving me just a taste of what I have been longing for so long! Thank You! However, I didn’t come down here to thank you, and join in the worshipping of the No Gimmick Superstar. No, you see I came down here to inform you of a slight change to our match at Saturday Night Main Event…..you see, you changed the date of our match, so technically, that gives me the right to make a change of my own, and seeing how you have pointed out that I am about as old as your friend here is endowed…

-Ashley’s expression is priceless; shock as she stares as Foley, then slowly looks down at her breast, then attempts to cover them up by crossing her arms.-

Mick Foley: … I’ve learned a few lessons in my day! I realize how this match will turn out. I will beat your ass. You will beat mine. Then somewhere along the line, right before I finish you off, your large friend here, Mr. Tomko will stick his nose in our bussiness, and I don’t know what you had in mine when you challenged me, but I sure as hell didn’t come back to the WWE to lose another match due to interference! So you want to face me at Saturday Night Main Event? Then make it a TAG TEAM MATCH! You and Tomko vs Me, and Steve Austin!

Gregory Helms: No. No. No! You can’t just come down here and dictate anything you want. This isn’t Foley’s World.. you want to make this a tag match, fine, but only if you put something on the line….

Mick Foley: Like what?

Steve Austin: How about we put your friends silly little goatee on the line? I’ve been in the same ring with him for two minutes, and the damn thing is already starting to annoy the hell out of me.

Gregory Helms: You want to put his goatee on the line? Fine you got it… but when we win, we don’t want a ‘cheap pop’… we want to make a statement. Foley, you lose… you RETIRE!

-Foley’s expression is priceless. Despite being forced into retirement on a number of occasions before, the fact that Helms brought it up came out of left field since he never really thought about wrestling after SNME anyways.-

Mick Foley: You want me to put my career on the line? Well you know as my old buddy…

-Extreme Revolution starts up as Paul Heyman emerges out onto the stage. Heyman stops at the ramp, and begins to speak as the crowd loves to see the General Manager of Raw make an appearance.-

Paul Heyman: Gentlemen, I hate to interrupt, but I must. You see despite how much I would LOVE to see this match happen, the cruel reality of the situation is that it just simply cannot. I would have no objections to Mick Foley facing Gregory Helms and Tyson Tomko, nor would I care who is chooses as a partner under normal circumstances, HOWEVER because Mick Foley feels it neccassary to put his career on the line, I have to look out for the best interest of my invest, which is Mick Foley’s career, and putting it in the hands of Steve Austin isn’t something I am comfrontable with considering your history of not showing up, Steve.

-Austin is furious at this. He points at Heyman and begins to threaten him.-

Paul Heyman: HOWEVER, since Mr. Austin has interjected himself into this situation, I feel he should be apart of its resolution. So since everyone is making their own stipulation to his match, let me chim in with one of my own. At Saturday Night Main Event, Gregory Helms and Tyson Tomko will face Mick Foley, and a partner of his choosing, whom I accept. If Mick Foley win, Tyson Tomko will shave off that silly little goatee, and if Mick Foley loses, he will be forced to retire and miss out on this year’s Wrestlemania. And as for Mr. Austin… since you getting in between Foley and Helms so much, I figure you will be a perfect SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE for this match!

-Austin’s face turns from rage to shock, then to satisfaction as he turns his head back towards Foley who loves the sounds of that. –

Mick Foley: So it seems, all I need to do to finalize this match is to go find myself a tag team partner. Now Gee, I wonder where I could find a partner at?

-Foley gives that cocky smirk then looks up at the ramp just in time to hear the famous words echo throughout the arena…

IF YA SMELL……WHAT THE ROCK… IS COOKING!

-The roof explodes off the arena as The Rock emerges from the back much to the shock of Gregory Helms, Ashley Massaro, and Tyson Tomko. The Rock pauses at the top of the entrance ramp and raises his eyebrow for the crowd, then explodes into a full fledge charge, as he races down the entrance ramp. He slides into the ring and goes right after Tyson Tomko, as Steve Austin and Mick Foley turn their attentions towards Gregory Helms. The crowd is electric at this point, as Foley, Rock, and Austin are owning Helms and Tomko. The Rock is laying in with the right hands to the jaw of Tomko. Right Hand. Right Hand! Right Hand! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM on Tyson Tomko! Foley is leveling Helms with right fist, after right fist. Helms ducks one of the attempts and goes behind Foley, only to receive a kick to the gut and a STUNNER from Austin! STUNNER to Helms! Rock, Austin, and Foley all stand in the middle of the ring, united as the crowd cheers on. Austin calls out for some beer, and tosses one to Foley, and the Rock. The three toast a cold one as Helms and Tomko retreat up the entrance ramp.-

J-R's Commentary: I love to see the ingorance of youth come back to bite someone in the ass. I have to admit folks, before ole Mick Foley laid this bombshell out for us, I was starting to get worried, but there ain’t no way in hell my good friend Steve Austin is going to let this loud mouth punk end Mick Foley’s career, whether its fair or not! I say the over-under on the number of Stunners, Stone Cold delivers to the “No Gimmick Superstar” this Saturday needs to start out at three… and I’d still take the over!

-Main Event, World Championship, No DQ Match-

Booker T vs The Big Show /w Triple H

The “Enfore of the Game” steps out onto the entrance ramp along side the Raw President, Triple H. The crowd voices their displeasure as the seven foot monster makes his way down the ramp, never taking his eyes off of the World Champion the entire way. Once at the bottom of the ramp, Big Show enters the ring by stepping over the top rope. Triple H demands that the ref hands him the World Championship, instead of handing it to the time keeper. Triple H admires the belt, then lays it on the apron, probably to motivate the Big Show. The bell sounds to start the match and Booker wastes no time going right after Big Show with open hand… or in his case gloved chops to the chest. Slap! Booker explodes with a second shot across the chest of Big Show, however Show respondes by headbutting Booker T. After their skulls collided, Booker falls back into the ropes. Show shows no signs of injury. Booker pushes himself off the ropes, and goes into a grapple with Big Show, but the big man easily tosses the former seven time world champion up in the air, and down into the corner. With his opponent trapped, Big Show take advantage of the situation and sandwichs Booker between himself and the turnbuckle. The Game applauds from the outside, as Big Show looks down at Raw’s president. Triple H raises the World Championship up in the air, and tells Big Show he is this close to the championship. Big Show nods his head, and turns his attention back towards Booker T. SLAP! Show explodes with an open hand chop across the chest of Booker T. Show looks over his shoulder for a moment, before grabbing the World Champion and tossing him way up in the air… and watching as he crashes into the center of the ring. Booker bounces off the canvas, grabbing his back. Triple H slides in a table into the ring. Show looks down at the table, then begins to nod. He bends down to pick up the table, but from behind Booker T rolls him up in a pinning perdicument! The ref is late rolling into position, 1…2…KICKOUT! Big Show kicks out at two, but even if he wouldn’t have kicked out, Triple H was already in the ring. The ref tells his boss to exit, which Triple H does after seeing his enforcer kicked out. It takes a moment for the Big Show to lift that large frame off the canvas and by the time he reaches his feet, Booker T has beat him there. The World Champion delievers a dropkick that sends Big Show falling backwards into the corner. Booker climbs up onto the middle rope and begins to whale away with right hands to Show. The Big Show finally forces Booker off of him by pie facing him off the middle rope! Booker crashes hard into the ca s, but quickly pickes himself up off the canvas. Show is there to greet him however nv with a stiff headbutt that sends Booker crashing back down to the canvas. Show begins to shake his head for a moment, as Triple H screams to stay on the attack. Big Show obeys. He makes his way over to Booker, where he picks him up by the threads, only to have the World Champion deliever an elbow to the gut! The Big Show slumps over, and Booker explodes out of no where with the Axe Kick! Both men crash to the canvas. All of a sudden the SPINARONI returns! Booker T spins his way back up to his feet as the crowd is going nuts at this point. Booker appears to be setting up Big Show for the finale. He waits for Show to reach his fee, but before he can unload, he is spun around. PEDIGREE! Triple H plants the World Champion with the pedigree as the crowd erupts into a chorus of boos. Triple H instructs Big Show to set up the table, to which the “Enforcer of the Game” obeys. Once the table is set up, HHH tells Big Show to finish him. Big Show grabs Booker T by the throat and pulls him off the canvas, high in the air. CRASH! Show chokeslams Booker T through the table. He plaes his hand on the chest of Booker, as Raw’s President tells the ref to make the count. 1…2….NO! Just before the ref can count to three, the Big Show is pulled out of the ring, by none other then DAVE BATISTA! The former World Champion scoops up the Big Show, spins around, and drives him through the announce table! The arena goes chaotic at this point. Batista picks himself up, and dusts himself off. He then slides into the ring where he goes face to face with Raw President, Triple H. Batista snatches the World Title out from the grasp of HHH, who hasn’t moved a muscle since seeing his enforcer be driven through the announce booth. Batista points over towards Big Show and says “That’s for Flair”, before letting loose with a “WOOOOO” which is recoiled by the fans. HHH has had enough, and backs off, before exiting the ring. Batista watches him as the Game makes his way over to check on his enforcer. Batista looks down at the damage to which he caused, then slowly looks towards the center of the ring, and sees Booker T motionless in the debris of Big Show’s wrath. Batista slowly then looks down at the World Championship. The Animal raises the belt high in the air as Raw goes off the air.

NO CONTEST...thus Booker T RETAINS the World Championship!

J-R's Commentary: Oh My Lord! What a way to return to action for Dave Batista, then to stand up for his long time mentor, Ric Flair, and attack the man who put him on the shelf! Plus you have to think that Batista has some unfinished bussiness with Booker T, and judging by the way he grabbed the World Title at the end, I'm guessing he is going to cash in his rematch clause at Saturday Night Main Event!

End of Raw.......Good Night Now!

Edited February 12, 2007 by MikelSweeten

[MyKILLv2.0]

This diary is just getting re-started, so there may not be many people who wish to offer "picks" for this event, but for those that do wish to participate I am going to award the winner(s) the chance to select a stipulation for a MAJOR match at Wrestlemania 23!

[MyKILLv2.0]

This diary has really “evolved” from its inception to this point, and along the way has take a few sharp turns both in presentation and in product substance. What I decided to do was do a recap of the first two months, so that readers wouldn’t have to read through two months of shows to know what is going on if they have never read the diary before, and for those who have read the diary, they would be able to be 'reminded' of what happened, since the diary did take a month off. Anywho, here is the recap of the first two months…

January

• John Cena and Umaga fought over the WWE Championship. Umaga was undefeated at this point in his career, and appeared to be unstoppable, even to the WWE Champion. Umaga scored a DQ victory over Cena early in the month.
• After suffering a career ending knee injury during a match with the spirit squad, Triple H was named Raw’s President. He quickly made it very clear that his first goal was to give the Raw Brand a more “respectable” champion.
• Dave Batista would continue to do battle with the dysfunctional “Kingdom”. During the month, Booker T defeated Fit Finlay to become the number one contender, however during the contract signing, Finlay attacked both men, leaving new Smackdown GM Paul Heyman, no choice but to declare the match at the Royal Rumble a triple threat match!
• CM Punk and Chris Benoit would do battle on Smackdown during a Best of Five series. Chris Benoit took an early 2-0 lead in the series, and it appeared that Punk had no answer for Benoit’s dreaded Crossface. However that all changed after receiving advice from Maria, Punk was able to reverse the Crossface on two separate occasions and even up the series at 2-2, heading into the Royal Rumble.
• Carlito won the Intercontinental Championship from Jeff Hardy during the month. However, Johnny Nitro had already won a number one contender’s match. However, Nitro was determined to get the next shot at the title, and interfered in the Hardy/Carlito rematch. Carlito then granted Hardy a rematch at the Royal Rumble, however those plans were voided when Nitro injured Hardy the week before the Royal Rumble, leaving Carlito no choice, but to give Nitro a shot at the title… but with a stipulation. If Carlito won, Melina would have to shave her head!
• Edge and Randy Orton continued to team up despite both claiming that not only were they going to win the Rumble, but they both wanted to do it from the first spot. Tensions grew throughout the month, and Triple H finally made a match between the WWE Tag Team Champions at the Royal Rumble, where the winner would be the first entrant into the Rumble.
• The star of Gregory Helms continued to grow, as he defeated challenger after challenger for his Cruiserweight Championship belt. During the month, Helms would do battle with Matt Hardy, who was experiencing a blissful personal life now that his relationship with Ashley Massaro had gone public. However his world came tumbling down once more when Ashley turned her back on Hardy, and allied herself with Helms, costing Hardy the CW title along the way.
• Mickie James introduced us to her new real life boyfriend, DeShaun Christian. D-S-C seemed to bring Mickie good luck, as she continued to retain her Diva’s Championship, despite the best efforts of Victoria and her “man toy” Stevie Richards.

  Royal Rumble

• Randy Orton would win the Royal Rumble, though not without controversy. It appears that Edge was well on his way to winning the Rumble after leveling Orton with his patented Spear, however he quickly found himself tossed out of the ring by none other then former best friend, Christian Cage! Orton would win the Rumble by default, with Cage making an impact for the ages.
• Dave Batista, Fit Finlay, and Booker T would do battle in an epic triple threat match, that saw all three of the participants nearly win the match. The ending of the match came after Batista disposed of Finlay, and appeared to be well on his way to powerbombing Booker, when he would pass out from blood loss. Booker would land on top of Batista and win the World Championship, for a SEVENTH time.
• John Cena and Umaga would do battle in a NO DQ match. Umaga was a beast throughout the match, but it appeared that the WWE Champion was about to finish the match, when Triple H revealed his plan to ensure that Cena would not leave the WWE Champion. He revealed his new “Enforce of the Game”, The Big Show! Show would make his way down to the ring, only to be cut off by Ric Flair! This would give Cena enough time to finish off Umaga, and retain the WWE Championship!
• Chris Benoit and CM Punk blew off the roof in an epic conclusion to their best of 5 series, and for the third time, Punk was able to reverse the Crossface, but this time, Benoit reversed the Reversal! However Punk was able to reverse the reversal, of the reversal… [Whew!], and secure the United States Championship!
• Carlito and Johnny Nitro would do battle for the Intercontinental Championship. The two men would battle it out for nearly half an hour, as neither man wanted to lose, however in the end Carlito would retain the IC Championship, thus forcing Melina to shave her head the following night on Raw!
• Randy Orton and Edge would do battle for the number one slot in the Rumble. The two men would lay it all on the line, attempting to win at all cost, despite all but ending their partnership. In the end, Orton was able to hit the RKO, but in a surprising twist of events, allowed Edge to cover him, and gave Edge the victory. Orton said later, that he had a change of heart, and decided to enter the Rumble at a different spot other then 1.
• Mick Foley would come down to the ring and say that he was looking for another challenger for Wrestlemania 23! Out marched the Cruiserweight Champion… who had successful defended his title earlier the evening against Rey Mysterio. Helms accepted Foley’s challenge, while belittling him in the process. The Texas crowd would explode when Steve Austin made his way out onto the scene, to stand up for Foley, ending up delivering a stunner to the self proclaimed “No Gimmick Superstar”.

  -After the Royal Rumble, WWE received news that Smackdown has been canceled, thus forcing the brands to merge one more time. This would take place in the middle of the month.-

  February

• After failing to take the WWE Title off of John Cena at the Royal Rumble, the Game would wreck havoc on everything around him. He would first take out his frustrations on Ric Flair. Flair would face the “Enforcer of the Game”, Big Show in a No DQ match, a match that ended up putting Flair on the shelf after being brutally assaulted by Big Show and the Game. Triple H would then turn his attention back to John Cena, promising that Cena would not leave Saturday Night Main Event with the WWE Championship!
• Edge demanded answers from Christian Cage, which is finally got. Christian claimed that Edge left him behind, after Cage carried him for so long. Just before things got really heated, Triple H stepped in and made a deal with the both of them. He would not only give each of them a shot at one another, but a shot at the WWE Championship as well! However if they failed… they would face the same fate as Ric Flair!
• After coming to Raw, Triple H gave his “Enforcer” a gift, for being such a loyal member. He gave him the first shot at the World Championship, however things did not turn out the way he planned when the former World Champion, Dave Batista returned to the WWE! Not only did he make it clear that he wanted his rematch for the World Title, but he made it even more crystal clear that he wanted to extract revenge against the man who put his mentor, Ric Flair, on the shelf.
• Gregory Helms and Ashley Massaro continued their winning ways while coming to Raw, and seemed to always be one step ahead of Mick Foley, even tricking him into putting up his career at SNME. However that all changed when new Raw General Manager, Paul Heyman made a swerve, not allowing Steve Austin to be Mick’s partner, but rather allowing him to be the special guest REF for the match. Foley then said he didn’t have to scramble for a partner because he had a backup in mind… THE ROCK! The three legends laid a beating to the ‘No Gimmick Superstar’, and his new “Problem Solver” Tyson Tomko.
• Carlito would force Melina to go through with the process of shaving off her hair, however at the last moment, he cut a deal. If she agreed to be his slave until Wrestlemania, she could keep her hair. She reluctantly agreed, which sent Johnny Nitro into a losing streak without his Melina. Things would not turn out so well though for Carlito, because Melina wasn’t a very good slave, when she cost him a ‘Gold Rush’ match against Shelton Benjamin.
• At the Royal Rumble, the WWE laid witness to the debut of a new tag team… the Konfederacy. These two outspoken gentlemen from the south made no hesitation in making an impact, winning the Tag Team Championships in their first month. However one of the brothers, AG Wright, seemed to be consumed with ending the inter-racial relationship of Mickie James and DeShaun Christian. He finally succeeded at the end of the month, after pressuring James with physical threats against DSC.
• Ken Kennedy made an off handed joke about Matt Hardy during the month, saying that if he didn’t have a girlfriend to steal, what was the point of wrestling him? Hardy took offense to this, and the two battled it out all month long.

During the month, it was also decided that even though the brands had merged, Paul Heyman would be retained as General Manager, and work under the Raw President Triple H. McMahon made it clear that Triple H was the President of Raw, handling all of the major decisions of the show, while Paul Heyman would handle the day to day responsibilities of Raw as General Manager.

Saturday Night Main Event will be posted tommorrow night.