TMM

He's had an awful season yes, but I don't think Crespo can be called overrated. This is his settling in season, especially with all the new faces Chelsea have it's probably a little harder.

Everytime I've seen Crespo play (even for Chelsea) he's been great. He might not have scored that many yet, but he has it in him and if he's still there next season, he'll be banging them in IMO.

Chelsea agree Mourinho deal

Chelsea have agreed terms with Porto over compensation for their coach Jose Mourinho, who will be named as the new Stamford Bridge boss on Wednesday.

Mourinho, 41, had talks with Chelsea on Tuesday even though he had yet to formally resign as Porto boss.

But Porto made a joint statement with the London club to the Portugese stock exchange later on Tuesday, announcing they had cancelled Mourinho's contract.

He will be named as Claudio Ranieri's successor at 1000 BST on Wednesday.

It has been reported that Mourinho will sign a four-year contract on a salary worth £100,000 per week.

He became the London club's top target after winning the Uefa Cup and Champions League with Porto.

Once he is officially installed, Mourinho can start spending some of the millions Russian magnate Roman Abramovich has poured into Stamford Bridge.

It is thought he might try to bring Deco, Paulo Ferriera and Costinha with him from Porto.

Meanwhile, Ranieri's agent Jon Smith is negotiating the Italian's pay-off with Stamford Bridge chiefs.

Ranieri had a contract until 2007 but had been tipped for the sack ever since Abramovich took control of the club last summer.

Smith confirmed: "We are negotiating the terms of the settlement."

Source

Well colour me pink! I'm shocked!

According to my Championship Manager...he's an average 'keeper, but CM stats and real life stats are different things. I've never seen him play, but I still don't understand WHY Wenger doesn't try harder to get Frey! He's said before he'd like to play for us...

Old School Rock. Nothing beats the Who...ever.

Rob Van Dam tears calf, out for 9 months

Rob Van Dam tore his left calf muscle in a match with Mark Jindrak over the weekend during a SmackDown! house show.

Van Dam was attempting a martial arts kick off the top rope and landed awkwardly. This is the same move that ended Sid Vicious' wrestling career when he broke his leg.

Van Dam still finished the match despite being in a lot of pain, as Jindrak rolled him up for the win.

This leaves the ranks of SmackDown even thinner then they were before, leaving them with only four legitimate main eventers (if you count Bradshaw!), and one of those, the Undertaker only wrestles part time.

Van Dam was said to be in line for a major push within the next month or two, possibly culiminating in a program with either John "Bradshaw" Layfield or Eddie Guerrero over the WWE championship.

Saturday 29th May 2004

Announcers: Josh Matthews and Bill DeMott

Matthews: Welcome to Veloicty everybody, and we have a packed show from top to bottom for you!

DeMott: That’s right, Billy Kidman and Paul London team up to take on Akio and Sakoda.

Matthews: Nunzio of the Full Blooded Italians takes on Spike Dudleyz.

DeMott: And in the main event, Rene Dupree faces off against Billy Gunn. What a show.

Matthews: That’s right, and in addition to that we’ll show you the return of a certain superstar to SmackDown, and the shocking closing moments of the main event from SmackDown between Rey Mysterio and John “Bradshaw” Layfield!

Kyo Dai vs. Billy Kidman and Paul London

Kyo Dai have been wondering around lately wandering why they were not involved in the no.1 contenders match on SmackDown, and they’ve gone on record as saying that they are not happy about it, and will definitely be gunning for the titles in the near future. The bigger Sakoda started out with London, who was hot off a win over a young talent named Joey Ryan last week on Velocity. Sakoda soon found out that his size and strength advantage didn’t really mean much against the amazing Paul London, who avoided everything Sakado dished out! London took Sakoda off his feet with a beautiful standing dropkick, before tagging in Billy Kidman. Kidman and London then hit stereo-dropkicks before Kidman covered, and got a two. Kidman then looked to hit a suplex, but Sakoda blocked it, and hit one of his own before tagging in Akio. Akio used his quick feet and martial arts background to his advantage against Kidman, and scored a near fall after a spinning heel kick. Akio went over to tag in Sakoda, but instead hit a quick Dragon suplex out of nowhere for the…1…2…3!

Winners: Kyo Dai

62%

43%

81%

Matthews: Woah! Akio had everyone thinking he would tag in Sakoda, but he turned around, hit the suplex and got the win!

DeMott: That’s what Kyo Dai are all about; it could all change in a second! They are so quick, especially that Akio. You have to be on your guard at all times, and Billy Kidman presumed that Akio was tagging out, and that was his undoing. That was ‘the Turning Point’.

Matthews: You’re right there. This is World Wrestling Entertainment; to presume something is to lose! We’ve gotta take a break right now, but when we come back we’ll show you the closing moments of SmackDown!

Commercial Break

Matthews: Welcome back. SmackDown’s main event saw Rey Mysterio take on John “Bradshaw” Layfield in a match that many expected JBL to come out on top, but it didn’t quite go down that easy!

Highlights of:

Rey Mysterio vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield

He pounded him down on the mat before tossing him shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Bradshaw proceeded to work on the now injured shoulder with an armbar. Mysterio managed to wriggle his way out of it and bounced off the ropes with a dropkick to the face! Mysterio went to the apron and attempted to ‘drop the dime’…but Bradshaw moved out of the way, picked him up and administered a shoulder-breaker to the injured shoulder. Bradshaw signalled it was time to end it, and sent Mysterio into the ropes. Bradshaw ran into the adjacent ropes…but instead of hitting Mysterio, he killed the referee dead with a Clothesline from Hell! Bradshaw turned around quickly and caught Mysterio coming off the top, and hit the Stock Market Crash for a pin, but there was no referee! Bradshaw tried to revive the fallen Nick Patrick, but to no avail. While this was happening, the fans went crazy as WWE champion Eddie Guerrero raced down to the ring and went toe-to-toe with JBL! He took him off his feet a backdrop, and went into full “Latino Heat” mode before going to the top rope…and hitting the Frog Splash! Eddie disappeared into the crowd, as Mysterio rolled to the apron…and managed to successfully ‘drop the dime’! Mysterio rolled into the cover as referee Brian Hebner raced down to administer the count…1…2…3! Mysterio pinned Bradshaw!

Winner: Rey Mysterio

88%

DeMott: Well Eddie wasn’t expected to be on SmackDown, but he showed up at just the right time to cost him the match!

Matthews: That’s right. Also on SmackDown, Chavo Guerrero challenged any male cruiserweight to a match for his title, and everyone was shocked who answered his challenge!

Highlights of:

--WWE Cruiserweight title--

Jeff Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero © w/ Chavo Classic

Chavo started off strongly, but the fans in attendance didn’t let up once in their support of Jeff! Chavo hit a snap suplex, and turned to the fans for adulation, but only got even more boos. He then turned around and was met by striking forearms from Jeff! Jeff whipped Chavo into the turnbuckle, and proceeded to hit an amazing moonsault kick before clotheslining him over the top rope to the floor! The fans went wild, as Jeff then launched himself over the top rope into the arms of Chavo and his dad, knocking both men to the floor! Jeff slowly got back to his feet and tossed the younger Chavo into the ring and attempted to pin him, but only scored a two count. Jeff went to pick him back up, but was met with a thumb to the eyes, as Chavo rolled him up in a small package with the tights…1…2…2 and a half! The referee didn’t spot the blatant cheating by the champion, but Hardy managed to kick out! Chavo proceeded to mock his uncle Eddie by going to the rolling vertical suplexes, but after the second, Jeff mustered enough strength to pull off a tornado DDT in midair! The fans applauded the move, as Jeff climbed to the top rope to finish Chavo off with the Swanton Bomb…but Chavo Classic jumped on the apron and crothed Jeff on the turnbuckle! Chavo recovered and hit a spike DDT off the top rope to the mat, before pinning Jeff with his feet all over the second rope!

Winner and still Cruiserweight champion: Chavo Guerrero

69%

Nunzio w/ Johnny “the Bull” Stamboli vs. Spike Dudley

Both men are former ECW Tag Team champions, although Spike has developed into more of a singles wrestler, whereas Nunzio has formed a formidable tag team with Johnny “the Bull” Stamboli. Nunzio used his technical expertise to force Spike onto the mat before locking in a Boston-crab on little Spike. Nunzio used a lot of submission holds, trying to wear down the legs of Spike before Spike managed to fight his way out of a single leg crab, and twisted his way into a standing position where he launched Nunzio into the turnbuckle! Spike pulled down the straps, pounded his chest and knocked Nunzio to the floor in the corner. He then took a run up before stamping all over the FBI member! Spike called for it, and went to hit the Dudley Dog, but his leg gave way while he was running up the turnbuckle. Nunzio took advantage of this and locked in the Boston crab tight! Spike screamed in pain, and finally had no choice but to submit to the painful hold!

Winner: Nunzio

69%

58%

80%

Matthews: What a big, big win for Nunzio here!

DeMott: No doubt about it coming right off the back of the defeat on SmackDown, he didn’t let it have any effect on his performance. ‘The Turning Point’ was Nunzio’s technical work. With that, he damaged Spike’s leg so much that he was unable to hit the Dudley Dog, therefore allowing Nunzio to lock in that deadly Boston Crab for the submission.

Another video aired for the Japanese man, now known only as “Suzuki”. It showed a similar video to last weeks, but this time said “06.13.04” then faded out.

35%

Matthews: Well, Suzuki it is! June 13th is the date of the Great American Bash, I guess that’s when he will debut!

DeMott: Well the Great American Bash just got a whole lot better!

Matthews: Don’t go anywhere, because after the break Rene Dupree takes on Billy Gunn!

Commercial Break

Rene Dupree vs. Billy Gunn w/ Hardcore Holly

Dupree came out, as usual in his blue robe and waving around the French flag. Fellow veteran and tag team partner Hardcore Holly accompanied Billy Gunn to the ring. Gunn and Dupree locked up, and then separated. Dupree stepped back and did his ‘outrageous French dance’ to a chorus of boos before they locked up again, and Dupree locked Gunn in a headlock. Gunn pushed Dupree to the ropes, but he was knocked to the mat when Dupree hit him with a shoulder block. Dupree again did his ‘outrageous French dance’ while standing over Billy Gunn, who grabbed a hold of him and rolled him into a small package for a two count. Gunn and Dupree exchanged periods when they were in control, with Gunn getting more offence in out of the two. The closing moments of the match saw Billy Gunn in firm control until his attempted jackhammer was thwarted when Rene Dupree rolled through on the pin for a two count! Dupree then quickly picked up Gunn and delivered the Au Revoir (modified Michinoku Driver) and made the pin…1…2…3!

Winner: Rene Dupree

76%

72%

80%

DeMott: Wow! That win came out of nowhere!

Matthews: Well I guess it’s just that sort of night. All the matches have ended like that; nobody expected anybody to win how they did.

DeMott: Without a doubt, ‘the Turning Point’ here was Billy Gunn’s attempt to hit that brainbuster slam of his and as soon as Dupree rolled through it, there was a distinct possibility of Dupree picking up the win.

Matthews: Well that’s all we have time for tonight, tune in Thursday for SmackDown, later days!

Overall Rating: 57%

TV Rating: 4.27

Man Utd warned over Heinze

Paris St Germain have told Manchester United they face competition over the signing of defender Gabriel Heinze.

The 26-year-old left-sided central defender is thought to be close to agreeing a move to United, who look set to pay £6m for his services.

Graille said: "Nothing is done but if Manchester United pay what we ask, yes, we are on the right way.

"However, United's officials had better hurry up because we have other contacts with Spanish clubs."

Heinze's capture would take United's summer spending to £13m following the arrival of £7m striker Alan Smith.

Graille earlier admitted: "We are keeping in touch with Manchester United's chief executive David Gill.

"I am confident but we will see what happens in the coming days."

Argentina have called Heinze into their squad for the World Cup qualifiers next month.

Before joining PSG, Heinze played for Valladolid in Spain and Sporting Lisbon in Portugal.

United would have no problems gaining a work permit for Heinze as he holds a German passport.

Heinze could be an ideal partner for Rio Ferdinand when the England defender returns from suspension, allowing Mikael Silvestre to return to left-back.

Chelsea reportedly made a £7m bid for the player in January, but Graille said at the time Heinze would not be allowed to leave until the end of the season.

BBC.co.uk

Not much, but it's a bit of a development.

Club. I'm just much, much more passionate about Arsenal than I am about England. Of course I'd love for England to win something, for them to do something.

I think it partly comes down to the fan aspect of it. I mean, I don't know many people who are fans of foreign teams because they are English. But I know tonnes of Man Utd fans, loads of Chelsea etc... and after a match, we can have arguments about who was better, if it was a dive etc.. and get VERY passionate about it. With countries, there really just sin't any of that.

27th May 2004

Announcers: Michael Cole and Tazz

Cole: Hello and welcome to SmackDown! Last week we went off the air after seeing the Dudley Boyz destroy Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio by driving them through a table. Tonight, the Dudleyz will be in tag team action when they challenge for the no.1 contender spot in a big four-team battle.

Tazz: The Dudley Boyz have to be firm favourites due to their history. They have held the Tag Team titles an amazing 17 times in ECW, WCW and WWE.

Cole: But you can’t count out Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly. Between them, they’ve held the WWE Tag Team titles 12 times!

Tazz: No doubt that this match will be very a close match, and anyone could really come out on top!

Cole: We’re getting things started with the big-mixed tag match!

John Cena and Torrie Wilson vs. Rene Dupree and Dawn Marie

John Cena and Rene Dupree were to start out, but Dupree smirked, and tagged in Dawn Marie! That meant John Cena had to tag out to Torrie Wilson, thus keeping the United States champion and his challenger apart for a while longer. Torrie immediately took Dawn down with a spear and started pummelling her on the mat. Dawn and Torrie rolled around on the mat for a bit before Torrie picked Dawn up by the hair and dragged her to the corner. She then started laying in with right hands…but Dupree ran along the apron and clothslined her to the mat! The referee admonished Dupree, but he just smirked and claimed he didn’t do anything! Dawn tagged out to Dupree, who walked up to Torrie and did his ‘French tickler’ dance! He walked closer to Torrie, but Cena had had enough and jumped in and clotheslined Dupree and returned to the apron. Cena reached for the tag and got the fans behind Torrie…who made the hot tag! Cena took Dupree down several times with clotheslines before pumping up the shoes and hitting the Five Knuckle Shuffle! Just as he was signalling for the FU, Dawn Marie hit him in the back! Cena turned around, grabbed Dawn by the hair as she went to leave, and asked the crowd if he should ‘punish’ her! Just as he was going to FU her, Torrie came in and asked to take fight her. Cena obliged and tossed her to Torrie who pummelled her with rights and lefts before rolling to the outside. While that was happening, Kurt Angle’s assistant, Luther Raines ran down to the ring and delivered a devastating powerbomb to Cena! Luther jumped out of the ring, and walked directed the referee’s attention to Dupree, who was covering Cena! He counted 1…2…3! Dupree pins the United States champion!

Winners: Rene Dupree and Dawn Marie

64%

77%

37%

On the outside, Luther grabbed Torrie Wilson by the hair and picked her off of Dawn Marie. He held onto her by her hair, as General Manager Kurt Angle’s music hit!

Angle came up onto the stage via a lift, and Luther proceeded to drag her up to him.

Angle: Well, well, well. Torrie Wilson. I bet you were wondering to yourself; “why did Kurt Angle put my job on the line at Judgment Day?” Well you don’t need to wonder anymore. This is the reason…

*Angle points to his wheelchair*

…This should be you! But no, I saved your life when the Big Show was going to chokeslam you off of the stage! But what thanks do I get? Nothing! You are an ungrateful blonde bimbo, and that is why I tried to get you fired. You are ungrateful, and there is no place on SmackDown for people like you. So, next week on SmackDown we’re going to have ourselves a little match. In this match…your job will be on the line! I’m not going to let you know who your opponent is, but you will find out next week. Enjoy your time on SmackDown Torrie. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Luther let go of Torrie, who ran off to the back crying.

Dupree: Mr. Angle sir. Hold on just a second! I would like to make a suggestion about my United States title match at the ‘Great American’ Bash.

Angle: And what might that be Rene?

Dupree: Well, I was thinking about it, and I thought it would be a good idea to add a little, how do you say; stipulation to the match.

Angle: Hmmm…okay, what do you propose?

Dupree: Well, seen as you have your own surprise for little Ms. Wilson next week, I think I shall keep it as a surprise as well. But I’ll let you know now; I don’t want zees filthy, ugly people knowing about it.

Rene Dupree whispered something in Angle’s ear, and the General Manager seemed to like the idea.

Angle: I LOVE that idea Rene! You’ve got it. At the Great American Bash, it’ll be you against John Cena in a…well, you’ll just have to wait and see.

87%

Commercial Break

Cole: Welcome back everyone. I can’t believe the heinous act at the hands of Luther Raines before the break. He came into the ring when the referee wasn’t looking and powerbombed US champion John Cena, allowing Rene Dupree to pin him!

Tazz: Well, I gotta agree there, it was uncalled for.

Cole: But then he grabbed a hold of Torrie Wilson; and he blatantly hurt her! He dragged her up to Kurt Angle, who then verbally abused her!

Tazz: That was quite a site to see; and not a good one at that! But Angle announced that Torrie would have to defend her job again, this time against a surprise opponent.

Cole: Yeah, and I’m almost afraid to ask who that is! The show goes on, and up next, Booker T takes on Funaki. Last week on SmackDown, Funaki had some tough questions for Booker T, and although he didn’t show it, he was quite annoyed about it!

Tazz: Yeah, I heard that after he beat Kidman, he went back and blamed Funaki for Undertaker’s ‘light show’!

Cole: Booker T really has some issues partner. Well, here comes Funaki, and it’s time for the match.

Booker T vs. Funaki

Funaki stood in the ring and patiently awaited the appearance of Booker T. Booker came down to the ring, no fancy pyro or anything as he got in the ring and attacked Funaki before the bell even rung! Booker laid into Funaki, and didn’t let the cruiserweight from Japan get a shot in at all in the early goings. Booker T aimed to take Funaki’s head off with his crescent kick, but Funaki ducked it and started punching Booker in the midsection! Funaki pummelled Booker into the corner and turned around to clap to the crowd, but as soon as he turned to face Booker he was laid out with a clothesline! Booker said ‘that’s it’ and delivered the Book End, and made the pin.

Winner: Booker T

73%

71%

75%

Much like last week, just as Booker was going to leave, he turned round and administered some more pain unto his opponent. He picked him up and delivered another Book End, before hitting the Axe Kick. Just as Booker stood up, the lights went out and the Undertaker’s gongs sounded! Booker looked up at the TitanTron, saw nothing, and hit yet another Book End on Funaki! Booker smirked, pointed at the TitanTron before walking off to the back.

79%

Cole: Booker T is a changed man. On RAW he was such a fun loving happy guy. But now he’s on SmackDown…he’s just become a bully! He’s nothing more than a bully!

Tazz: Well he just killed Funaki I think, but there’s something you didn’t mention.

Cole: What’s that Tazz?

Tazz: Booker didn’t seem at all scared when the Undertaker’s gong sounded! He just smirked and acted as if nothing had happened!

Cole: Well, Undertaker is a dark man. He likes to scare his ‘prey’ so to speak, by making them think he’s there when he isn’t. Maybe Booker T realises this, and isn’t scared anymore.

Tazz: Anything could happen between these two; especially with the way things have been going.

Cole: Well up next is the four-way elimination match to determine the no.1 contenders for the WWE Tag Team titles at the Great American Bash! The Basham Brothers, Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn, the FBI, and the Dudley Boyz. One of these four teams will meat Charlie Haas and Rico for the WWE Tag Team titles June 13th at the Great American Bash!

Commercial Break

Cole: Welcome back, and much like last week we’ve been joined at the announce table by Paul Heyman. Paul, I was wondering; do you actually work here yet?

Heyman: Well Michael Cole, I am very pleased you asked me that. Yes, yes I do. Kurt Angle gave me a job yesterday! So I am now officially a part of the SmackDown brand.

Tazz: So we’ll be seeing a lot more of you then?

Heyman: Why yes you will Tazz! Isn’t that great?

Tazz: …

--No.1 Contenders for the WWE Tag Team titles--

The Basham Brothers vs. FBI vs. Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn vs. the Dudley Boyz

This was under elimination rules, and only two men can be in the ring at any time. Johnny “the Bull” Stamboli and Hardcore Holly started things off. The two, big hardhitters went at it and left nothing in the back, as both men wanted the Tag Team gold. “The Bull” was on the receiving end of a lot of punishment from Holly, and quickly tagged out to Nunzio. Nunzio looked around, and entered the ring…but then ran over and tagged in Danny Basham and exited the ring! Danny and Hardcore went at it, with Holly hitting his trademark dropkick before tagging in Billy Gunn. Billy pounded Basham into a corner and signalled for a Stinger splash. He geared up, but Danny dropped out of the way and tagged in Nunzio again! Nunzio tried to do what he did before, but Hardcore laid him out with a clothesline on the apron! Gunn picked him up and delivered the Fame-Asser and pinned Nunzio, eliminating the FBI! Almost immediately after the referee counted Nunzio’s shoulders down, Bubba Dudley entered the ring and hit an axe handle the Gunn, followed by and elbow and another axe handle. Bubba isolated Billy Gunn, and made quick regular tags with D-Von. The Dudleyz signalled for the 3D, but Hardcore had had enough and attacked both Dudleyz, one after the other. Hardcore pounded D-Von towards the Basham’s corner, and Doug made a blind tag with D-Von. Hardcore whipped D-Von into the far corner, Doug came off the top rope with a clothesline to Hardcore’s surgically repaired neck.

Cole: Folks, we gotta take a break! Don’t go anywhere!

Commercial Break

Cole: Welcome back, all through the break…

Heyman: All through the break, the Dudley Boyz have been dominant over Hardcore Holly and Billy Gunn! They taken EVERYTHING they could lash out, but they’ve just brushed it off like *that*.

Tazz: You’re right Paul. Hardcore and Billy haven’t been able to get a rhythm going since Doug Basham took Hardcore’s neck out earlier!

The Dudleyz were again isolating hardcore Holly, and Bubba hit a hard back bodydrop. He then went over to Billy Gunn and taunted him into the ring, to which the referee tried to stop. With the ref’s back turned, the Dudleyz went to hit their wassup…but Hardcore rolled through on Bubba and rolled him up! D-Von lost his balance and crotched himself on the turnbuckle! Hardcore only managed a two count, and began crawling to make a tag. Although he was initially aiming for Billy Gunn, Danny Basham stretched out and tagged himself in! Danny started pounding away at Bubba Ray Dudley, who had just recovered from nearly being pinned by Billy Gunn, and Danny jumped in like a wolf smelling wounded prey. Danny tried to life Bubba up for a backdrop, but to no avail. Bubba elbowed him in his mouth, and with D-Von’s assistance they hit a reverse 3-D!!! Bubba pinned Danny, the Basham’s are out! It was Bubba and Hardcore Holly who started the final part…but the Dudleyz pulled a fast one, and it was D-Von that jumped Hardcore from behind! He made a blind tag earlier. D-Von delivered a forearm to the neck of Holly, and then delivered a neckbreaker. He proceeded to lock on a dragon sleeper on the surgically repaired neck of Hardcore Holly. Holly was almost done for, but came to life after his arm was dropped the second time, and got to his feet with elbows to D-Von’s stomach. Hardcore whipped D-von to the ropes before hitting a big dropkick! Both men were down and out, and the fans were cheering Holly to reach Billy Gunn…and he did! Gunn came into the ring and cleaned house of the Dudley Boyz and signalled for the Fame-Asser. Bubba came at him…and felt the Fame-Asser! But behind the referee’s back, D-Von lowblowed Billy Gunn, and then hit a modified reverse DDT to pick up the win!!!

Winners and no.1 contenders for the WWE Tag Team titles: the Dudley Boyz

74%

71%

77%

Paul Heyman got up from his announce table and raised the Dudleyz hands before he accompanied them to the back.

Cole: I can’t believe those damn Dudleyz! D-Von knew they would lose, so he cheated to attain victory!

Tazz: Well Cole, you obviously didn’t hear Paul Heyman say that the Dudley Boyz would return to their roots, and that is classic Dudley Boyz right there!

Cole: Well, in any event, the Dudleyz will take on Charlie Haas and Rico for the WWE Tag Team titles on June 13th at the Great American Bash. But stay tuned guys, because up next is Chavo Guerrero vs. the world!

Commercial Break

Cole: Well it’s time Tazz!

Tazz: Yes it is! After Chavo and his dad beat Jacqueline last week, Chavo made it clear he wanted to challenge anyone to a match for the Cruiserweight title this week on SmackDown.

Cole: Well, we don’t have to wait any longer, as here comes Chavo and Chavo Classic!

The Chavo’s came out to the ring with a smirk across their faces.

Chavo Classic: Well everyone it’s time for my son to take on the world! Any Cruiserweight in the back who thinks that they can beat the greatest Cruiserweight champion in this companies history!

Chavo: I know it’s a frightening prospect! Getting in the ring with me…Chavo Guerrero! So, whoever is willing to answer my challenge…come on out now!

There was silence for a few seconds…until the lights went out and some very familiar music hit the speakers!

Cole: It’s Jeff Hardy! Oh my god! Jeff Hardy is back in the WWE!

Tazz: My god Jeff looks in great condition!

Cole: Look at the Chavo’s faces! They didn’t expect this AT ALL!

The Chavo’s cleared the ring, as Jeff ran down and went to each turnbuckle…before Chavo whacked him in the back on one of them, starting the match.

67%

--WWE Cruiserweight title--

Jeff Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero © w/ Chavo Classic

Chavo started off strongly, but the fans in attendance didn’t let up once in their support of Jeff! Chavo hit a snap suplex, and turned to the fans for adulation, but only got even more boos. He then turned around and was met by striking forearms from Jeff! Jeff whipped Chavo into the turnbuckle, and proceeded to hit an amazing moonsault kick before clotheslining him over the top rope to the floor! The fans went wild, as Jeff then launched himself over the top rope into the arms of Chavo and his dad, knocking both men to the floor! Jeff slowly got back to his feet and tossed the younger Chavo into the ring and attempted to pin him, but only scored a two count. Jeff went to pick him back up, but was met with a thumb to the eyes, as Chavo rolled him up in a small package with the tights…1…2…2 and a half! The referee didn’t spot the blatant cheating by the champion, but Hardy managed to kick out! Chavo proceeded to mock his uncle Eddie by going to the rolling vertical suplexes, but after the second, Jeff mustered enough strength to pull off a tornado DDT in midair! The fans applauded the move, as Jeff climbed to the top rope to finish Chavo off with the Swanton Bomb…but Chavo Classic jumped on the apron and crothed Jeff on the turnbuckle! Chavo recovered and hit a spike DDT off the top rope to the mat, before pinning Jeff with his feet all over the second rope!

Winner and still Cruiserweight champion: Chavo Guerrero

78%

72%

85%

Chavo Classic handed his son his title, and he helped him to the back. In the background was Jeff Hardy shaking his head as he watched his opponent leave after he cheated to win.

Commercial Break

Just as SmackDown returns from the break, a video of the closing seconds of the previous match is shown, to boos from the crowd.

Cole: Well, as you’ve just seen, Jeff Hardy has returned to WWE! But this time he is with SmackDown, and he could, and most probably should be the new WWE Cruiserweight champion.

Tazz: Jeff Hardy came out, nobody knew he was here, and every single female in this audience shrieked, I think, like they’ve never shrieked before!

Cole: Yeah I think I’ve gone half deaf partner! Up now, John “Bradshaw” Layfield is backstage with Josh Matthews.

Josh: Thank you Michael Cole. Mr. Layfield, tonight you go one-on-one with Rey Mysterio 17 days before you challenge his good friend Eddie Guerrero for the WWE championship. What are your feelings about these two matches?

JBL: What are my feelings? Well, my feelings are this. I don’t care whether it’s Eddie Guerrero; I don’t care whether it’s Rey Mysterio. It doesn’t matter to me, because they represent the same thing to me. They both represent all these stinking morons in the crowd! That’s right, they represent the fans. I mean, the sorta people that cheer for Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero have no morals. They don’t understand greatness, and what they don’t understand, they boo. And they don’t understand me. They don’t understand how I have become so rich and climbed to the very top of the financial ladder while they sit at the very bottom, leaching off of the government for handouts. So what I am going to do, is go out there and beat Rey Mysterio like his momma should’ve done years ago!

70%

Rob Van Dam vs. “The Reflection of Perfection” Mark Jindrak w/ Theodore Long

Theodore Long took time with his client’s entrance, walking down to the fans on either side of the rampway, and pointed out his client’s perfection to them. The arena nearly erupted when Van Dam’s music hit, but when “Mr. Thursday Night” entered the ring and headed towards the turnbuckle, but was cut off by Mark Jindrak standing in his way! Jindrak prevented him from going to the second rope to ‘show off’, so Van Dam did it in front of him to his face! Jindrak didn’t like it one bit and swung at RVD, who ducked and kicked him in the backside, Jindrak turned round and attempted to kick RVD in the stomach, RVD caught the leg, stepped over and nailed him with a step over heel kick. Jindrak fell to the mat as RVD leaned down and got in his face. He pointed to himself three times with his thumbs and said "R…V…D" in his face. Jindrak quickly got back to his feet, pissed off. Van Dam seemed to be really enjoying himself out there, but Jindrak certainly wasn’t as he went over to confer with Theodore Long. Once he finished, he faked a lock-up and kicked Van Dam in the miod-section before punching him square in the face! He then showed off his strength by picking him up over his head and launching him to the outside! Jindrak stood in the ring, and looked down on RVD on the outside, smiling at what he had done. Jindrak brought RVD back into the ring, and dominated for a few more minutes. Jindrak got over-zealous, and took too long to administer a powerbomb, allowing RVD to toss him over his shoulder! Jindrak clambered into the corner, and was soon met by the shoulders of Van Dam! RVD then laid him out with a martial arts kick from the top rope, before going back up and hitting the Five Star Frog Splash! After writhing around in pain for a few seconds, Van Dam covered Jindrak and picked up the victory!

Winner: Rob Van Dam

74%

73%

75%

Van Dam, who was prevented from doing so earlier, went to the second rope and pointed to himself as the fans sung along “R…V…D”. As soon as he jumped off the rope, he was met by Mark Jindrak who hit the Mark of Perfection out of nowhere! He kicked Van Dam in the mouth, before spitting on him and leaving the ring!

Cole: My god Tazz, that was totally uncalled for by Mark Jindrak!

Tazz: no doubt, no doubt Cole. But this kid has a bright future ahead of him on SmackDown, and what better way to kick it off then lay a beating on one of our top guys, “Mr. Thursday Night” Rob Van Dam.

The cameras cut to the back, where Charlie Haas, Rico and Miss Jackie are in their locker room.

Rico: Oh do come on Charles! You know it’s a good idea! I just know it’ll look wonderful on you!

Haas: (from behind a door)…it looks stupid! I don’t even know why I’m doing this! The colours just don’t suit me…what the hell…?

Rico: Oh come come my good friend…(Rico peeps in the room)…oo that looks stunning! Come on out! Show Jackie! Show Jackie!

Haas: (Haas takes a deep breath)…ok Rico, here I come!

Charlie Haas stepped out from behind the door in nothing but a blue thong!

Haas: What the…? You didn’t say there were cameras here Rico!!!

Haas runs back into the room as quick as he came out. As soon as he does that, the door bursts open and Bubba Ray, D-Von and Paul Heyman walk in. The Dudleyz stand inches away from Rico.

Bubba: 17 days Rico! 17 days until those belts are ours! So cherish them while they are yours, because come the Great American Bash, they will be around the waists of the Dudley Boyz once again.

D-Von: Oh testify my brother!

The Dudleyz turn to leave, so Rico turns around as well, looking as if he had seen a ghost, but turning your back on a Dudley is not advisable. Heyman quickly handed D-Von a chair and he proceeded to smash it over Rico’s head! Rico collapsed in a heap, as Miss Jackie screamed. The Dudleyz and Heyman left, and Charlie Haas walked out of the room in a tracksuit.

Haas: I’m never doing that again…what the? What happened? What the hell happened?

Haas and Jackie checked on Rico, as SmackDown went to its final break.

71%

Commercial Break

Cole: We just witnessed the Dudley Boyz cracking Rico’s skull with a steel chair, and the sound was absolutely horrible!

Tazz: There’s no doubt about it; the Dudleyz have sent a big message to the champions; they’re coming for them!

Cole: Well up next is the main event; John “Bradshaw” Layfield takes on Rey Mysterio in one-on-one competition.

Rey Mysterio vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield

Rey Rey came out with taped up ribs after the assault at the hands of the Dudleyz last week, when they drove Rob Van Dam through Mysterio and a table. Bradshaw came out, as per usual, in his white, horn-clad, white limo. He got out and was met by a huge chorus of boos after his earlier comments. He looked around, and stuck his nose up at every single fan around ringside. He then got into an argument with a fan holding an Eddie Guerrero sign, and that was Mysterio’s cue! As soon as JBL turned around, Mysterio was in full flight and landed right on top of him! Mysterio had to move quickly and did so with quick punches. He rolled Bradshaw into the ring, but was kicked in the head when he tried to slide in after him. Bradhsaw kicked him four times more in the head before picking him up…and knocking him back down with a big clubbing forearm to the upper-back. He pounded him down on the mat before tossing him shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Bradshaw proceeded to work on the now injured shoulder with an armbar. Mysterio managed to wriggle his way out of it and bounced off the ropes with a dropkick to the face! Mysterio went to the apron and attempted to ‘drop the dime’…but Bradshaw moved out of the way, picked him up and administered a shoulder-breaker to the injured shoulder. Bradshaw signalled it was time to end it, and sent Mysterio into the ropes. Bradshaw ran into the adjacent ropes…but instead of hitting Mysterio, he killed the referee dead with a Clothesline from Hell! Bradshaw turned around quickly and caught Mysterio coming off the top, and hit the Stock Market Crash for a pin, but there was no referee! Bradshaw tried to revive the fallen Nick Patrick, but to no avail. While this was happening, the fans went crazy as WWE champion Eddie Guerrero raced down to the ring and went toe-to-toe with JBL! He took him off his feet a backdrop, and went into full “Latino Heat” mode before going to the top rope…and hitting the Frog Splash! Eddie disappeared into the crowd, as Mysterio rolled to the apron…and managed to successfully ‘drop the dime’! Mysterio rolled into the cover as referee Brian Hebner raced down to administer the count…1…2…3! Mysterio pinned Bradshaw!

Winner: Rey Mysterio

76%

82%

63%

Cole: My God! I don’t believe it! Mysterio just pinned the no.1 contender for the WWE championship!

Tazz: I thought Eddie Guerrero wasn’t supposed to be here tonight?

Cole: He wasn’t, but he just cost John “Bradshaw” Layfield a very, VERY big match tonight, and Bradshaw will be furious next week! That’s all for SmackDown, my god…

Overall Rating: 72%

TV Rating: 6.06

Scholes has supposedly told Eriksson to drop him and play Lampard because of the poor season he has had. Now, I don't really like Scholes, but if he has said something along those lines, I've got a little bit of respect for him.

I really wish more players would say something like that though.

Well, of the ones you haven't mentioned, I can only really say Starcraft. Classic game.

And what's wrong with C&C: Generals? It's pretty good...if not a little annoying at times.

SmackDown! Preview

SmackDown is preparing for a big show this Thursday, as General Manager has already booked four matches for the show!

*Rene Dupree and Dawn Marie vs. John Cena and Torrie Wilson*

Last week on SmackDown, Kurt Angle informed Michael Cole through his headset that Torrie Wilson and the WWE United States champion John Cena would team up to take on Rene Dupree and Dawn Marie in a mixed tag team match. Dupree and Cena have been at each other's throats since Rene Dupree joined SmackDown from RAW, and Dupree has been after Cena's US title. As much as Angle considers himself to be a great American, he hates John Cena so much, he is even willing to help a French-man take the US title from him!

*Mark Jindrak vs. Rob Van Dam*

Mark Jindrak has been on a role of late since having been taken under the wing of Theodore Long. Long has helped Jindrak to realise his potential, and the "Reflection of Perfection" is looking to leave the 'Mark of Perfection' on Rob Van Dam. Van Dam, however, will be in a bad mood after tasting wood at the hands of Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley last week on SmackDown!

*--No.1 Contenders Match for the WWE Tag Team titles--*

Basham Brothers vs. the Dudley Boyz vs. the Full Blooded Italians vs. Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly

Speaking of the Dudley Boyz, they have a chance to earn the right to face the champions, Charlie Haas and Rico if they can overcome three other teams who are hungry for the gold. The Dudleyz could become 18-time Tag Team champions, but the FBI want a tase of some WWE gold for the first time, and the Bashams are looking to become 2-time champions. Gunn and Holly are veteran tag team wrestlers as well, and will want to pick up their first Tag Team titles as a team at the Great American Bash.

*John "Bradshaw" Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio*

Rey Mysterio has been fed to the wolves here, as he will return from being put through a table by the Dudleyz and go right into a match with the no.1 contender for Eddie Guerrero's WWE title. JBL has promised to take the WWE title from Eddie, and will gladly go through Mysterio to get there. Mysteiro, however will want to slow Bradshaw's momentum by giving him a devastating loss here, that could swing the advantage to Eddie Guerrero.

In addition to this, Chavo Guerrero has stated he will put his title on the line against any MALE Cruiserweight that will step up and challenge him. Who will respond to Chavo's challenge? The last time Chavo laid out a similar challenge, Jacqueline defeated him for the title! Will this match have the same outcome?

Is there a lesbian in there? Just going on what I heard. My brother (stupid boy!) told me there'd be 4 lesbians, a prostitute, and asylum seeker and 3 gay guys. How close was he?

It's true. I'd love to see Kaka in the Premiership with us actually. It's great that we seem to have money sprouting out of the walls all of a sudden!

I think the problem with the Man Utd one is that the collar looks really dodgy with the Nike swoosh. Take the collar off and it'd be fine.

Funky. I really like it ACCEPT...the badge isn't on the heart, so it loses points there from me.

American/Pop Idol > Big Brother

I can't stand reality TV most of the time, but everynow and again Pop Idol can be funny. Only at the beginning though when all the idiots are on it and they're either trying to be funny, or REALLY believe they can sing.

I did turn over

You obviously missed the bit where I stated I find Conference football entertaining. It's not the most 'technicall sound', but it gave more of an entertainment value than Juventus vs. AC Milan.

But hey, if you like it, you like it. In general, I dislike Italian football because every time I watch an Italian match it bores me to tears, so I turn them over as well.

It wasn't boring because there was no goals, it was boring because the match was as dull as ditch water!

Shit, I can watch a Conference game and enjoy it a hell of a lot. That match was just dull. Nothing of note happened at all, and I swear the players didn't try half the time. The defenders, as usual in Italy, did all the work, but it was still crap.

Even I, as a Gooner have to admit that was funny. Annoying thing, I know two people who are *kinda* like that.

Two years back, FOUR years after he left, a friend thought Ian Wright still was our number 8. Not a boy in my college claims he's an Arsenal fan, yet he doesn't know where we are in the league, barely knew any of our players, and didn't know our last result.

Thing is, there are only a few fans like this, the majority of Arsenal fans know the team, and know a lot of the young Guns, so...yeah.

I was really looking forward to this match, but found myself to tired/ill to pay attention!

But I did expect a win for Monaco though, 3-0 to Porto really surprised me.

But hey, it was 100 times more entertaining than last year's final!

Spider Man 2

Blade: Trinity

Alien vs. Predator

Harry Potter and the Prisonner of Azkaban

Barcelona axe Dutch stars

Barcelona have axed their Dutch quartet of Patrick Kluivert, Marc Overmars, Phillip Cocu and Michael Reiziger.

Turkish international goalkeeper Rustu Recber has also been told he has no future at the Nou Camp.

Barcelona sporting director Txiki Begiristain is intent on reducing the club's wage bill and lowering the average age of the squad.

But the club hope to keep Holland star Edgar Davids, who spent the second half of the season on loan in Catalonia.

When asked about Kluivert and Overmars, Begiristain said: "We don't want them to stay.

"Overmars didn't play much last year and didn't contribute much to the team.

"Kluivert is always under pressure from the crowd and this is not good for any player.

"Both Kluivert and Frank Rijkaard are in agreement with this.

"We are looking for players to cover both positions."

Of Cocu, who almost left the club last summer, Begiristain added: "He's leaving because he wants a bigger wage and bonuses.

"We have a clear philosophy on wages and we don't want to break this for any player. It wouldn't be fair on the squad.

"We have another player in mind to replace Cocu, who we are not revealing at the moment.

"He's not cheaper, but he's younger, and so he'd be better value for the future."

Davids' wage demands are apparently proving a stumbling block to a permanent deal being done to bring him to the Nou Camp from Juventus.

"We've given him an offer and we are waiting for a response," added Begiristain.

Credit: BBC.co.uk

Well, this should add a little bit more weight to the "Kluivert to the Premiership" comments. Problem is his wages, and who could actually afford them!

Is it out in the UK yet? If so, I might have to get my first Slipknot album

I like Duality, it's a pretty good song IMO.

Steven Gerrard DID say that as long as Gerard Houllier was there he would NOT leave. Now as far as I'm concerned, that's him saying "if he goes, I might have to think about my future".