ClaRK! Kent

Started a new game, basically looking to have some Premiership fun, so I went with the richest team that wasn't already in Europe/wasn't absolute shit (West Ham...) - so I'm now the manager of Aston Villa. They've got a good base of talent, but basically every position needed some overhauling, so let's see what Randy Lerner's specially-extended £41m has bought me so far... Craig Gordon, Stephen McManus, Ian Harte, Luis Ernesto Perez, Elano, Luka Modric, Joey Barton... ...and I'm trying to seal the deal for Alexander Frei before the first day of the season, although it may involve getting rid of Stephen Davis to raise some extra funds. Had to pay a bit over-the-odds for Elano and Modric, so much so that I had to pull out of a deal to sign Shunsuke Nakamura from Celtic. Oh dear oh dear. The only thing I've really lost out on so far is getting Eduardo, who ended up going to Porto, so I'm marking him down as a 'long-term' target to try and snap up next year. Current line-up, which just stuffed Sporting Braga 4-1 in a friendly, looks like so... GK - Gordon DR - Hughes DL - Harte DC - McManus DC - Mellberg DM - Barton MC - Barry MC - Perez/Davis AML - Maloney AMR - Elano FC - Moore

Owen will be fit in time for a few friendly games in autumn '07 that I've scheduled, South Korea and Switzerland being the two big ones. I'll play him in those, plus the return game against Andorra if he's fit, and from there we'll see if he's still got his striking boots. The thing is that obviously, being out for 10 months in-game means that your stats are going to take an absolute nose-dive, so the question with Owen is whether he can train them back up again. Hopefully he can. Something of a question, after the Holland game - noticed that the Dutch national team suffers from the same irritating thing as the German one, where no real players exist in the national team for some reason. I can't remember why that is, was it a licensing issue? So yeah, answer that for me, and maybe also tell me which other teams, if any, suffer from said issue. 'Cos it's silly.

So, just for laughs, I started a game as England to play just when bored/amused. Finished 2007's international fixtures, and I must just go on record to say that I bloody LOVE Darren Bent. Came on as a sub for Defoe in the friendly with Greece, scored twice. Since then, in only FIVE international appearances (including the Greece game) he's notched up a whopping 15 goals, including putting 5 past FYR Macedonia in a stunning 11-0 win at Old Trafford. In other England news, Wayne Rooney returned to action after his suspension against Croatia and was on the field for 3 minutes before elbowing Igor Tudor in the face and getting sent off - he is now banned for 4 games. D'oh. Big hugs on sticks for Stewart Downing, Aaron Lennon and Jonathan Woodgate, who have all done very well in their England jerseys and are giving me selection headaches, whilst it must be said that Ashley Young is the best utility man we have - not only can he play on the wing and set up Crouchy for headers (Croatia) but he can play as a third forward and score in his own right (Holland) as well! My current first-choice England line-up would be as follows... GK - Paul Robinson DR - Gary Neville/Jamie Carragher (one is invariably injured ) DL - Wayne Bridge (came in for Ashley Cole after Cole had a DREADFUL game against FYR Macedonia, and has won his place) DC - Jonathan Woodgate DC - John Terry DM - Owen Hargreaves/Joey Barton (Barton replaced an injured Hargreaves for the Croatia game and did well, he's now my second-choice ahead of Carrick for this role) MR - Steven Gerrard/Aaron Lennon (tends to depend on if/where I'm playing Gerrard/Lampard to be honest, Lennon is more than good enough however) ML - Stewart Downing (utterly kicks Joe Cole's tail in this position, most assists of any player in international football since July 06 at this point) MC - Frank Lampard/Steven Gerrard (they can't play together ) FC - Peter Crouch FC - Darren Bent Subs tend to be - Ben Foster, Jamie Carragher/Micah Richards (see above), Rio Ferdinand, Joe Cole, Ashley Young, Michael Carrick, Jermain Defoe/Andy Johnson England are winning Euro 2008.

Awesome on a stick. I'll be throwing my oar about a bit more when we get to some places that I remember more (I don't even own any of the PSX FF games anymore, alas) but I do absolutely love this game. It is, yeah, the high water mark of the series on the Sony consoles, better than FFVII and definitely better than FFVIII (although Squall's gang hold a special place in my heart as it was the first FF game I played)... it's really fantastic. The thematic stuff is really nice, and something that is wildly overlooked - the duality theme is, whilst not the only theme of the game, one of the big ones so it's good to get it open for discussion quickly. What I love about the cast of FFIX is that absolutely everybody is playing a role from start to finish, and only late on do we actually get this revealed to us in some places. Garnet's is obvious, Steiner's too to a lesser extent when they have to go undercover, but you've also got Steiner desperately trying to act like the competent and important knight despite having an inferiority complex a mile long and being utterly unconvinced of his own power to save the Princess from not only the world around her, but the 'clutches' of Zidane's advances as well, which for much of Discs 1-3 is an even worse prospect for the father figure. For Zidane, and Freya, it's very obvious what they're hiding - pain. Freya more so earlier on because it's revealed more quickly what has happened to her, and her story is possibly even more tragic than Vivi's at times. She's lost absolutely everything, but she so rarely lets you into her world (the only time we REALLY get any Freya/Fratley stuff is when he happens to pop up in Cleyra, so she's hardly willingly opening up!) that to all intents and purposes the 'tough dragoon' thing she's doing when you first meet her becomes her personality for so long. The rare scenes of an open, emotional Freya are amongst my favourite in the game, because she's utterly fantastic. Zidane's story is so well-known/over-discussed that I'm not gonna bother here, I'll leave that for somebody else. Same with Kuja really. Vivi's perhaps the one masking/playing least, because he's so sweet and open, but in a way he's quite shadowy about some of the aspects of his past and is hardly quick to divulge everything about himself to the gang - largely, you get the feeling, because this is the first time he's had friends and he doesn't want to lose them. That's lovely, and in a way it's the crux of the party mechanic - everybody comes in at least slightly distrusting somebody else, and at most distrusting everybody/being distrusted by all (Amarant...), but the story moves them closer together and forces them beyond that prejudice - it's about perception, and perception being flawed, which moves into some of the other main themes of the game, the stuff about humanity and what it means to be human, what it means to have a soul, etc etc. I'll discuss those another time, but just sign off by loving Benji to bits and hoping he does at least open up the possibility for me to have a lengthy discussion with somebody on why Moogles are better than Chocobos, and why this game would lose a good .5 of its 10/10 score without them.

My Sherona, by The Knack. Thread over?

Aaah, Serenity/Firefly quotes. Operative: I do not wish to fight you. I am unarmed... Mal: *interrupting* Good. *shoots him in the chest, goes to leave, Operative leaps up and grabs him from behind* Operative: I am of course wearing full body armour - I am not a moron! Kaylee: Oh my God, Simon, are you okay?! Mal: Is HE okay? *Reaver jumps up, everybody shoots it wildly* Jayne: We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode! Mal: Hey little one. You understand your part in all this? River: Do you? Mal: This is what I do, darlin'. This is what I do. Jayne: I won't get eaten! You shoot me if they take me! *Mal cocks gun* Jayne: Don't shoot me FIRST! Jayne: I'll kill a man in a fair fight, or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight… if he bothers me, or if there's a woman… or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly only when I'm gettin' paid. Kaylee: But how can you be sure Inara don't just wanna see you? Sometimes people have feelings. And I'm referring here to… people. Mal: You all were watching, I take it? Kaylee: Yes. Mal: Did you see us fight? Kaylee: No. Mal: Trap. Simon: We'll get off. River and I will get off at Haven. We'll find some— Kaylee: Nobody's saying that. Wash: Nobody besides Jayne is saying that. Mal: The government's man, he says you're a danger to us. Not worth helping. Is he right? Are you anything but a weapon? I staked my crew's life on the theory that you're a person, actual and whole. And if I'm wrong, you best shoot me now. *River cocks the gun* Mal: Or we could talk more. Mal: It ain't all buttons and charts, little albatross. You know what the first rule of flyin' is? Well, I suppose you do, since you already know what I'm about to say. River: I do. But I like to hear you say it. Mal: Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. And love keeps her in the air when she oughtta fall down… tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens… makes her a home. River: Storm's getting worse. Mal: We'll pass through it soon enough.

Nah, Levy's a lying cunt. If it's a toss-up between Ramos saying he was approached, and Levy saying he wasn't approached, I'd take the Spaniard I'd barely heard of before this weekend over that dirty scumbag any day of the week.

CASINO ROYALE Bond: Vokda martini. Bartender: Shaken or stirred? Bond: Do I really look like I give a damn? Vesper: It doesn't bother you, killing those people? Bond: I wouldn't be very good at my job if it did.

I shall first start by trumping Skummy and Hammy for quotes from some of the films they picked.... SNATCH... Tommy: "What's wrong with this one?" Turkish: "Oh nothing Tommy - " *pulls caravan door off* " - it's tip-top. I'm just not sure about the colour." Avi: So, uh, what do I call you? Bullet? Tooth? Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you 'appy. Sol: What is that?! Vincent: It's a shotgun, Sol. Sol: That's a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent! Sol: Well, I wanna raise some pulses, don't I? Vincent: You'll raise 'ell. Vincent: Don't worry about him - he's a natural, in't you Tyrone? Tyrone: 'Course I am! Vincent: He's done a rally driving course, in't you Tyrone? Vincent: 'Course I 'ave! Tyrone: It was at a funny angle. Sol: It was behind you, Tyrone. When you reverse, things come from behind you. Turkish: Sugar? Brick Top: No thanks, Turkish - I'm sweet enough. Brick Top: Do you two know what 'nemesis' means? A righteous expression of vengeance, manifested by an appropriate agent. In this case, a 'orrible cunt - me. WITHNAIL & I... Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! I'm in the middle of a fucking overdose! Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. Hair are your aerials - they pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them to your brain. This is the reason bald men are uptight. Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! Marwood: How did you get in? Danny: I used my ingenuity. Marwood: Eh? Danny: I came up the drainpipe. Withnail: Scrubbers! Scrubber: Up yours, granddad! Withnail: Scrubbers! Scrubbers! Marwood: Shut up. Withnail: Little tarts. They love it. Marwood: (regarding a live chicken) I think you ought to kill it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question; how long can you keep a grip on the rope? They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. I'm done for now, I shall add more from new movies later. Ooh, one more... Hunter S. Thompson: "We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt-shaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-coloured uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two-dozen amyls. Not that we needed it all for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can." From the brilliant Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, of course.

I'd fucking kill for Tevez and Hargreaves in my side. I'm using Hargreaves-Lite and Diet-Tevez at the moment, otherwise known as Graham Kavanagh and Salomon Kalou. Grr.

My Sunderland side's progress this season can be tracked in the Cube. <_

Grr. Bloody work permits - the British legal system will rue the day it forced me to sign Marlon Harewood. RUE THE DAY!

Grr. If a player fails a work permit, is there ANYTHING I can do to get him into my team?! Found a Ghanaian striker in Belgium, would've been fantastic to bolster my strikeforce ahead of the new season as he's young, impressive and above all cheap. Anderlecht accept my bid, he accepts his wages, and bam! Work permit denied, appeal does nothing. I did this two more times in the vain hope of it working on another try, but no dice. Any help?!

Quietly optimistic now, having seen the Derby game - THAT was the Spurs I remember! Routledge did very well, and hopefully he can fill in for Lennon until he's back. He's kinda come outta left field to have a very good game there, and he did alright when he was on the pitch against Everton too, so it's good to see that a long-term purchase is starting to pay dividends. With Bale and Dawson expected back for the Man United game, and King looming on the horizon, I'm a bit more confident, but we need to build quickly and convincingly on this run of form or we're sunk. A point against United, and a couple of wins, will stand us in good stead, but we can't afford to keep dropping soft points as we did against Sunderland and Everton.

*sticks fingers in ears* Lalalalalalalalalalalalala! I'm still only up to season 2, I got into the show literally two months ago. It is, however, one of the best things I've ever seen, and not just on TV. I await the arrival of season 3 via Amazon with bated breath and/or salivating.

Okay, so there are two things about this game that still escape me, slightly. Team-Talks. Obviously the "I are disappointed" and "Well done" varying in harshness ones are easy to work out, in terms of what they do, as is "I expect a win" and such, but some of the other options (specifically "Wish Luck" and "For the fans!")... their usefulness/when to use them escapes me. Would anybody mind shedding any light on what some of the more esoteric team talk options do, and when is best to use 'em? And training. How can a trainer with 18 Attacking coaching only produce **** for shooting? Does he have to have another attribute in the 17+ region too? Same with set pieces, too. Grrz.

Amy Winehouse is amazing, although it's now compulsory to like her due to Britain's new mentality. More Jews, less greenhouse gases.

I dunno if I've liked a asingle villain, other than maybe Scarecrow. I did like Tom Wilkinson as Carmine Falcone, but I suppose he doesn't count. Jack as The Joker... meh. On a stick. Meh. Too over-the-top, too scene-steal-y. Jack is amazing, but he wasn't a good Joker.

What Gaby said. He overdid it a bit, but he was way better than say, Clooney, who just used the same voice throughout.

Anybody talking about Ivy being unthreatening needs to go read No Man's Land again. Seriously.

Spoiler: Click here to viewHe gets scarred in this film, almost certainly by Joker. And if you don't see how Ivy can be a threat to Batman, you've certainly not been reading the right comics.