britneyspearsisgod

We signed Hayles from non-league Stevenage Borough to Bristol Rovers before Fulham, which was the time I was talking about more than his time at Plymouth. But I agree, he wasn't bad in any sense before hand. I didn't mean it that way. Wrong choice of words, you could say.

I've heard it's pretty grimey

Chelsea have just signed one ugly mother-fucker

Seriously, give it time. Ollie will turn him around. In Ollie We Trust

Consider that Ian Holloway helped turn previous turds Barry Hayles, Jason Roberts and Nathan Ellington into goal-scoring machines at their given levels. He has the pedigree of taking out of favour strikers and giving them their fire back. I'm happy to bet on Ollie turning Beattie back into the striker we use to see at Southampton.

From the most expensive transfer in British football history, to the least: Bristol Rovers hit upon the signing of Jean-Paul Kalala from Yeovil Town on a free transfer, signing him on a permanent contract until 30th June of this year. We're fucked

And now Benfica confirm to the stock exchange that Chelsea have bought David Luiz for £21m plus Nemanja Matic going the other way. Chelsea don't like to announce anything themselves these days it seems

In this day and age, it is indeed only a job for many a player now. Liverpool confirm Chelsea have signed Torres.

So if he cuts inside on a waterlogged pitch, would that make it the "Suarez Canal"? ...I'll get my coat

If they had a left-footed striker to cut inside, then it'd work well with Suarez, Carroll (?) and said striker up front and Gerrard and maybe Charlie Adam throwing crosses from midfield. It's the service of the ball that matters most. However, wingers would be good also.

Arsenal are the frugal geriatrics of the Premier League, wishing to only spend on their favoured grandchildren

Newcastle fans, don't forget you have hat-trick hero Leon Best up front as well. Don't worry Newcastle - go buy Rickie Lambert. He'll solve your problems.

Apparently Carroll put in a transfer request this afternoon, which Newcastle "reluctantly" accepted. So you replace one bastard with another. I remember the days when strikers weren't all twats Kidding aside, I find the irony that Torres waits until the end of the transfer window to make moves and then so does Liverpool and coincidently Carroll does too. Why do all these clubs wait until the end of the window to do business? It's like Christmas shopping - do it earlier and avoid disappointment!

English beats Uruguayan in the transfer market my friend

And apparently now it seems that Newcastle have actually REJECTED Liverpool's second bid, according to the BBC. Fair play Newcastle.

Hey, for £35m I would say Newcastle have to do it. But Liverpool are paying entirely over the odds for someone of his calibre. However, there's every chance it will work out well for him and Kenny is the sort of guy to be able to deal with Carroll's temper issues. It may be good for him - a chance of a fresh start and possible European football. If Newcastle can get somebody in return on loan from Liverpool, even better. Maybe Pacheco could go out to them? Plus, as therockbox. said anyone bought today will be paying a premium for players. It has every chance of working out well, as much as every chance of fucking up. But let's think positive about this one today. In terms of where do Newcastle go from here? Rickie Lambert is 6ft 2in and good at free kicks. Or give Bristol Rovers £2m and you can have Will Hoskins

£30m for Andy Carroll? Absolutely bloody madness. They won't spend more than £4m on Charlie Adam, but want to spunk £30m on the North-East's answer to Stan Collymore? Although the statement of intent being shown by Liverpool with these bids is welcoming.

If they can get Anelka in exchange plus the money, then I say do it. Anelka has not only matured as a player and person, but he's also more than proven at Liverpool's current level and would be a great influence for David N'Gog, a future star for the French national team. I can only see wages as being an issue (I wouldn't want to put Anelka on too high a wage if it can be helped). For the time being, he's a fantastic stop gap. Then, some extra monies to invest in and provide reinvention over the summer. Result. As good as Torres is, any player are only as good as they are motivated and working hard. Pele would have been shite had he not put the effort in and wanted to play. A moody, unresponsive Torres is not worth keeping.

And that's it. Shame Blackpool couldn't do it, but Man Utd are just that little bit better. Still, well done to the Tangerines. They gave it all they got and really pushed for everything.

Rafael banged heads with someone (can't remember who). He's in intensive care with a concussion, but he should be fine.

All credit to Blackpool - they took it to United and gave it a go. They just can't keep up with United's conditioning. And TEN MINUTES ADDED TIME? My god. Fergueson didn't have a half-time team talk - he gave the ref a bung j/k The ref gets his bungs up front.

Rafael off. Fiery aggressive bugger he may be, but I hope he's alright. Ah well. COME ON BLACKPOOL!

And Hernandez scores to make it 2-2. Blackpool tiring and wearing down now. Pulling in a draw would be fair, but what might have happened if they could have kept them out...

Man Utd pull one back. Blackpool need to just retain possession and keep things tight. Don't let United play. AT ALL.

Bloody men. Don't know the penalty rule