Steve Corino
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Posts posted by Steve Corino
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Yes! I think I asked about someone doing this diary months ago, and I'm glad that SOMEBODY finally decided that it was worth doing! And that it's TGC, gives me a bittersweet feeling, because I know that as much as is done on this will be godly work, just that not much of it will probably get done....
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WWE Championship
© John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
Teacher vs. Pupil
Kurt Angle vs. Shelton Benjamin
No Holds Barred
Edge vs. Matt Hardy
Intercontinental Championship
Rob Conway vs. © Hurricane
Chris Masters vs. Big Show
Muhammad Hassan vs. Kerwin White
Rob Van Dam vs. Carlito
Bonus #1: Which match will be the first match?
Hassan vs White
Bonus #2: Which match will have the highest match quality (EWR)?
Angle Vs Shelton
Bonus #3: Will Chris Masters be able to lock the Masterlock on the Big Show? Sure.
Bonus #4: How many chair shots will there be at Unforgiven? 2
Bonus #5: Will there be any surprise appearances by superstars not on the Raw roster? If so, state who. Nope.
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I loves me a Thug diary. But I really only have one thing to say.
Two heel "model white Americans" against a face Arab and a black? Wrestling sure changed since the 80s.
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Thirty Man Royal Rumble
Winner: The Rock
WWF Championship
Kurt Angle Vs Steve Austin ©
Rock vs Austin should happen.
Intercontinental Championship
Chris Benoit © Vs Matt Hardy
While I think that Benoit vs Jericho from the real Rumble 2001 would have been a better match, this will still be good. Benoit wins because the Radicalz have more or less gotten squashed during the feud with the Hardyz.
WWF Tag Team Championship
Edge & Christian Vs The Dudley Boyz
Does any reason REALLY need to be given?
Billy Gunn Vs Steven Richards
RTC need a victory more than Billy does.
Bonus Questions
What will be the first match of the night? E&C vs Dudleyz.
Who will get the pinfall/submission in the Tag Team Title match and against whom? Christian over D-Von.
Which match will gain the highest match rating? Benoit vs Hardy.
Which match will gain the highest crowd reaction? Angle vs Austin.
Which match will gain the highest overall rating? Angle vs Austin.
Who will be the number one entry in the Rumble? Jericho.
Who will be the first elimination in the Rumble? Funaki.
Who will be in the final four of the Rumble? Jericho, Regal, Rock, and Undertaker.
Who will be the last elimination in the Rumble? Jericho.
Who will be in the Rumble for the longest amount of time? Jericho, obviously.
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You said yesterday that predictions were closed in an hour, but you haven't put the show up yet so I'm predicting anyway dammit.
WWF LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Jushin Thunder Liger V The Great Muta
Winner (6): Liger
Decision (4) Pin
WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Test & Big Bossman © V Blue World Order
Winner of Fall (3): Stevie
Loser of Fall (3): Test
Decision (4): Pin
BATTLE OF THE FORMER FRIENDS
Road Dogg V Billy Gunn
How Many Falls? (4): 2 (Dogg will win one, but Billy will win one then)
Winner (6): Gunn
SUBMISSION STYLE OCTAGON CAGE
WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Ken Shamrock © V Kane
Winner (8): Kane
WWF WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
The Rock © V Stone Cold Steve Austin
Winner (6): Rock
Decision (4): Pin
ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH
- Undertaker is entered 1st, Mankind is entered 30th.
Entrants: Kane V Test V X-Pac V Undertaker V Mankind V Animal V Hawk V Goldust V Ken Shamrock V Big Bossman V Gerry Briscoe V Pat Patterson V Big Stevie Cool V Da Blue Guy V Owen Hart V Jeff Jarrett V Bradshaw V Faarooq V Jushin Thunder Liger V Road Dogg V Billy Gunn V Taz V Earthquake V The Great Muta V Bubba Ray Dudley V D-Von Dudley V Val Venis V Kurt Angle V Triple H V ???
Winner (30): Owen Hart (There really aren't any other "big" name guys here. No one who could legitimately go to Wrestlemania, at least. No way Taker is making it all the way, and number 30 should never win, so that leaves Owen or 3H, so I'll choose Owen.)
Entrant 2 (2): Angle
Entrant 5 (5): Bradshaw
Entrant 15 (15): Meanie
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Should I vote here, or by PM?
I might as well not bother mentioning how much I like a good TGC diary, so I'll just echo Miami Vice's sentiments, and call it a post.
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I know it's tough....but that's just odd.
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A 66.6% rating for the show that gets Lance Storm into the semifinals and eventually into the World title? That may not be a good omen
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RAW
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
BATISTA © vs. EDGE w/LITA
Unlike everyone else, I don't think that either title will change hands. Remember that WrestleMania had both titles change hands, and thus gives this leeway for Summerslam to have them stay put.
SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. TRIPLE H w/RIC FLAIR
I too think that there will be some type of screwjob done.
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
CHRIS BENOIT vs. MUHAMMAD HASSAN © w/DAIVARI
WWE WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP
CHRISTY HEMME vs. TRISH STRATUS vs. LITA vs. VICTORIA
Lita and Trish are easily your most over women, so giving it to Victoria would mean that there are good matches to be had (Christy? c'mon...) and the title could easily change hands down the line.
SMACKDOWN!
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
JOHN CENA © vs. EDDIE GUERRERO
See Raw World title.
SHAWN MICHAELS vs. KURT ANGLE
The question comes down to "Who deserves the rub more? The old legend, or the guy who could be forced to retire at any point?" I give it to the old legend, just because he's the face in the series.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
NATURAL BORN THRILLERS vs. MNM © w/MELINA
I love the old NBT, but without Sanders they're just Jindrak and O'Haire. Meanwhile, MNM are MNM, so they keep the belts. If you could follow that, then you're doing good.
WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
PAUL LONDON vs. SUPER CRAZY vs. TAJIRI vs. CHAVO GUERRERO vs. ELIX SKIPPER vs. JUVENTUD ©
The SD champs can't have a perfect night.
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Against All Odds
2 on 1 Handicap Match
NWA Heavyweight Championship
8 - Jeff Jarrett © vs. Randy Savage and Monty Brown
See the match below for who I think the belt will end up going to.
Against All Odds
3 on 2 Handicap Match
5 - Abyss, Lex Luger and Sean Waltman vs. Kevin Nash and Scott Hall
Really, the only guy who could gain anything would be Abyss. So I see Hall and Nash winning the match, but Abyss going crazy on Lex and Sean at the end so he can challenge Jarrett next month.
The Noose…
Unsanctioned Match – With No Referee
6 - Raven vs. Jeff Hardy
With: Slash, Sinn, Father James Mitchell, The Kru and the Insane Clown Posse ringside!
What can I say? I hate Jeff Hardy.
Against All Odds
2 on 1 Handicap Match
4 - Diamond Dallas Page vs. Konnan and Vampiro
I figure that I've said the handicap people would lose thus far. Might as well have one where they win.
Against All Odds
2 on 1 Handicap Match
TNA X-Division Championship
7 - Petey Williams © vs. Christopher Daniels and Elix Skipper
When it comes to these title matches, I don't see the partners working together as well, and by hook or by crook, Petey will retain here.
Against All Odds
2 on 2 on 1 “Hardcore Wildcard” Handicap Match
2 - Kid Kash and Dallas vs. Jimmy Snuka and Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. the Sandman
After losing to Snuka/Piper last month, then getting their asses handed to them by Sandman, they need to get their win in. This will be the time.
Against All Odds
X-Division Cluster Handicap Match with 2 on 1 on 2 on 1!
Winner(s) Become The No1 Contender(s) To The X-Division Title!
1 - Chris Sabin vs. Kazarian and Shane vs. Hector Garza vs. D-Ray 3000 and Shark Boy
As much as I like the other people in this match, I think ShaZarian have the best chance here.
Against All Odds
4 on 5 Handicap Elimination Match
NWA Tag Team Championship – The Last Man Surviving Wins The Belts for His Team!
3 - American Patriots © and America’s Most Wanted vs. New York Connection and Naturally Dark
Show Questions:
What will the elimination order be in the NWA Tag Title Match? Patriot 3, Gilbertti, Storm, Swinger, Patriot 2, Douglas, Simon, and Harris, to give ND the titles.
What will be the worst match – the main event
What will be the best match – the X-Division Cluster
Will Against All Odds see anyone debut? No
If Yes – Who is going to debut?
Will Against All Odds see anyone leave TNA for good? Yes
If Yes – Who is going to leave? Hardy
Will anyone turn at Final Resolution? Abyss
What will the overall PPV be rated – 75%
What will the buyrate be for the show? 1.34
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WWE RAW
Date: Monday, April 26, 2005
Commentators: Jim Ross and Terry Funk
JR: "Welcome everyone to WWE RAW! I'm Jim Ross, as always accompanied by Terry Funk."
Funker: "Tonight should be a damn good show, Jim."
JR: "Indeed it should be; we have a HUGE tag team match tonight, with Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit taking on their rivals Triple H and Christian!"
Funker: "That match will blow the roof off this place for sure."
JR: "We also have a World Tag Team Championship defense, as William Regal makes his first appearance in weeks!"
Funker: "Edge has also invited Batista to be his guest on Living With the Edge this week."
JR: "Mister Money-in-the-Bank may get that briefcase shoved down his throat if he doesn't watch his mouth in the presence of the World Heavyweight Champion!"
Funker: "And Steven Richards layed out a challenge for any underutilized WWE superstar to have a match against him."
JR: "I don't know who would take him up on that offer, but right now, it is time for some comments from Triple H and Ric Flair."
Segment 1: Your Standard RAW Opening
"Time to play the Game....TIME TA PLAY THE GAME! Hu-Hu-Hu-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!"
JR: "I'm sure Triple H has only one thing on his mind right now, and that is Chris Benoit."
Funker: "Usually if someone cost me the World Heavyweight Championship twice, I'd have that person on my mind as well."
The two come down to the ring, and Triple H gets the microphone first.
3H: "Chris.....Ben.....waah."
Funker: "Ha, I told you! Pay up, JR!"
JR: "I left my wallet backstage."
"Benoit, you have stuck your nose in my business for far too long now. I know what you're trying to do; you want to make a name off the Game. Well Benoit, you've gotten my attention. But your name will mean NOTHING after I get done with you. You've held major titles, but I've held them more. You've put in twenty years of hard work, well I've done more in my thirteen years in this business than you could dream of. And all along the way, I have done it with this man...."
Triple H points to Ric Flair.
"....right at my side. Not behind me, but at my side. What you've been doing lately is disrespecting a legend, THIS legend. Sure, you made your name off of the Four Horsemen. But that period is OVER. DONE. PAST. This is where Ric Flair's heart lies now. Ric Flair is at the top, managing me because he knows that when I'm at the top, he is also at the top. And Benoit, you can live with it....or you can die by it."
3H gives Flair the microphone now.
"Benwaa....WOOOO! YOU DO NOT! Underestimate! The Game! YOU DO NOT! Put your hands! On the Game! And if you interfere in another of his matches, WOOO, you will be laid to rest; Woooo...."
And on that note, the two leave the ring.
(89%)
Funker: "It looks as though Benoit can't take Ric Flair's loyalties away quite as easily as it looked. But maybe that was Benoit's plan, JR. How better to get under the skin of Triple H than through his manager?"
JR: "You make a very good point, Terry. Right now we have a commercial break, and then Living With the Edge, with special guest Batista!"
--Commercial Break--
Segment 2: Livin' With the Animal
We come back from break to see a now updated look to Edge's show; now, it has the same ring covering as the Highlight Reel did, but where Jericho's head was, there's Edge's smiling face over it. Somewhere, there's a blind production guy who had to put that on there, due to the whiteness of those teeth. "Metalingus" begins to play, and Edge walks out from the back carrying his Money in the Bank briefcase with him as always. He slides into the ring, and the show begins.
"Good evening peons, it is time for some good Living With the Edge! Which is great, because none of you fans out there probably have any idea what good living is. I saw this guy out there in a box earlier today! So I went past in my limo, and he started asking for change....so I hit him with my briefcase, told him to get a job, and left him lying there!"
Edge is getting some heat, very cheap but heat nonetheless. I may not know sports teams, but I'm trying here dammit!
"But there are more important things in store for everyone tonight. It is my pleasure to introduce the man who defeated Triple H at WrestleMania, Backlash, and last week on Raw, the World Heavyweight Champion until I decide to use my Money in the Bank contract, BATISTA!"
Batista's theme kicks on, and the crowd comes to their feet for the Champion. He walks down and gets into the ring, and he grabs a microphone from the timekeeper.
Batista: "Let's make one thing clear, Edge; I don't care what you have to say. I don't sweat you, the same as I didn't sweat Triple H. And look at where he is now; he cannot receive a World Heavyweight Championship match as long as I am holding this title. And when you do decide to use that contract, I can guarantee you that you will never receive another shot....because you'll be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life!"
Edge: "Big words coming from a gorilla. But wait, now let's see you put your money where your mouth is, big man. I don't want to use my contract just yet, so why don't we have a non-title match, TONIGHT?!"
The crowd cheers in anticipation, as Batista grabs Edge's hand and pulls it to his mouth to use his microphone.
Batista: "You got it."
ROAR OF APPROVAL from the crowd on that one.
Batista: "See you later, Edge. By the way, your show sucks."
Edge looks like he wants to attack the champ, but Batista shoots him a cold stare that keeps him at bay.
(80%)
JR: "I can't believe it! What a main event! I think Edge just stuck BOTH feet in his mouth on that!"
Funker: "I don't know JR, Edge always has a plan. Do you think he would go into a match against the Animal without a backup?"
JR: "That's true, Batista should watch out for Christian."
Segment 3: Charlie Haas vs Simon Dean
Wow. I mean, WOW. Match of the night honors go here, definately. No real surprise though, since Nova invented the four star match. Haas is in control for the start of the match despite some stalling from Simon, then Dean takes over just in time to start the heel heat segment of the match. But Haas doesn't stay down like he should, instead always trying to pop up, but usually he gets hit with something to put him right back down. Haas is finally looking toward the win, when the ref gets bumped. Dean tries to use the Simon System bag on him, but Haas moves out of the way and takes Simon down. He locks in the Haas of Pain, but from the crowd comes Muhammed Hassan! He delivers a baseball slide dropkick to Charlie, and goes to the top rope. When Haas starts to get up, Muhammed yells out "HAAASSSSAAAAAAAAN! CHOP~!" before diving off and hitting Haas with a uber-sized tomahawk chop. After a vicious blow to the head like that, Simon is easily able to roll over and get the cover. Haas blades to put over the deadly HASSAN CHOP~!, while Dean is very pleased with his victory.
(84%, 70%, 98%, ****1/4)
JR: "What was Hassan's reason for being out there? I can't believe this!"
Funker: "Apparently Hassan is still upset that he was used by Haas to elicit his big debut to the Raw brand."
JR: "Well whatever Muhammed's problem is, Haas just got cheated out of a victory."
Funker: "Don't go away now though fans, because coming up we'll have the World Tag Team title match."
JR: "That match is coming up, NEXT!"
--Commercial Break--
Segment 4: World Tag Team Championship Match - William Regal and Tajiri © vs Tough Resistance
Hey, it could have been a worse match. After the quick heel cleanup by the faces, Tajiri plays Ricky Morton following Maven ducking a kick and hitting him with a German Suplex. See, it was more devestating than the usual German Suplex, because Tajiri had Maven's eyebrows scratching against his back. Maven and Grenier use quick tags in and out, and Funker puts over their teamwork, considering that they've not teamed often before. This is their first match teaming with one another that they've had a name, even. That's impressive, I think. But don't worry, because as soon as there's an opening, Tajiri kicks them both to hell and back before tagging in Regal, who dumps Maven over the top rope and takes Grenier down, locking in the Regal Stretch to get the submission win. Yay for champions retaining their titles.
(73%, 69%, 78%, **1/4)
Segment 5: What are they on?
BAAAAAAAACKStage now, where Demolition: The New Generation are in their locker room, likely discussing face painting tips, when a female voice can be heard shrieking "THERE THEY ARE!" Suddenly the Basham Brothers attack! They hit hard and fast, with chairs smacking down onto D:TNG. The Bashams stop and laugh at the slowly rising Demolition, almost falling over themselves, but before Bam and H'WAAH can get up to exact their revenge, Dawn pulls Doug and Danny out of there.
(65%)
JR: "What was that all about?"
Funker: "Why are you always asking me, JR? Maybe they just wanted their faces seen on camera!"
JR: "Well you don't need to get pushy about it!"
Funker: "There are only so many things I know, and one of them is that we're all set to see Triple H and Christian against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit."
JR: "This will indeed be a slobberknocker."
Funker: "I oughtta slap you, you yankeefied son of a...."
Time to play the Game....
Segment 6: Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit vs Triple H and Christian
Yeah, Triple H had to cut Terry off there with a loud shot of music. The match wasn't too bad, not as good as when it was HBK and Benoit against Edge and Christian but it still served all intents and purposes. Michaels got to play face-in-peril for this match, with 3H and Christian using every cheap heel tactic in the book to keep the advantage over him. Benoit finally gets the tag, and he has Crossface on Christian when Ric Flair decides it's time to jump on the ring apron. Benoit lets go and walks over to Flair, but when he turns around, Triple H hits the Pedigree on him and gets the win. Triple H hits another Pedigree on Benoit while Christian gives Shawn a one-armed Unprettier after the match.
(82%, 84%, 80%, ***)
Funker: "Did you see what I just saw, JR?"
JR: "Ric Flair cheating Benoit and Michaels out of the win?"
Funker: "No. Look at Christian! Christian was in the crossface for awhile, and he looks REALLY hurt!"
JR: "That's right! That means....Edge can't depend on Christian to help him defeat Batista! Chris Benoit may have just inadvertently aided Batista in ridding himself of the threat that is Edge!"
Segment 7: Towel-wearing Homies Get Highlighted
HEY-YAAAAHLEHYEHYEHYEHYABBADABBADOOABUDABIABUDABICHOPYAY....
Oh yeah, this has to be Hassan. On an unrelated but still on topic note, I have finally heard Hassan's theme now. So expect someting like that to be seen every time I introduce Hassan here.
"Ah, another host of fat, rich Americans out here to pick on the person with the different race. To Allah with all of you; I am out here to tell you what I believe about Charles Haas. Haas is a very talented athlete in the sport of wrestling. However! What he did to Daivari at Backlash was unacceptable! That is why I have decided to...."
But suddenly the lights go completely out, and on the Titantron.....
Y6J
Y5J
Y4J
Y3J
Y2J
**BOOM!**
The lights come back on to see Chris Jericho doing his cross pose at the top of the ramp, and he goes down to the ring with his own microphone. He gets right in Hassan's face, and says the magic words: "Would you kindly....SHUT! THE HELL! UP!" Hassan is pissed, but Jericho continues anyways.
"I've heard you say a lot of things, and while some of them may be true, there are a few things that you need to get through your head, and I think I'm the guy who can do it, Hossenfeffer. You see, people don't boo you because you have a darker tan. People don't boo you because you wear a towel around your head. People don't boo you because you like to hump water buffalo. People boo you because, quite frankly....they don't like you! And if they don't like you, then I don't like you very much, either."
"Oh is that so? How would you know? Yes, you are also coming to us from another country. But have you ever been detained from riding on a plane simply because of the color of your skin? Have you ever been told that the only thing you can do is drive a taxi? Have you ever--"
"I'm sorry, but you're doing it again."
"What am I doing?!"
"You're speaking! THAT is why people don't like you! Because every time you speak, all the BS you spew has to be wiped up by the towel you have on your head!"
THAT DID IT! Hassan hits Jericho, and the two start brawling with one another. Hassan tries to hit the WMD on Jericho, but Jericho trips him and tries for the Walls. But before he can lock it in, a horde of officials come down and break them up. Hassan is being pushed up the ramp, and he gets his microphone again.
"Jericho! You want to try and shut me up? Then try next week!"
"Next week? Why wait? Let's do it, TONIGHT!"
"YOU'RE ON!"
Jericho looks pleased, as Hassan just looks pissed, as we go to a commercial break.
(91%)
JR: "If I understand right, the match between Chris Jericho and Muhammed Hassan WILL be following the next one."
Funker: "And what a match we have right now, as Stevie Richards made an open challenge to anyone in the back who haven't gotten much television time."
Steven Richards makes his way down to the ring now, and he calls for his opponent. And he is greeted by.....the Rockers theme! Marty Jannetty comes bouncing out from the back, and following a handshake, the two begin their match.
Segment 8: Steven Richards vs Marty Jannetty
This match kinda sucked, apparently. But it wasn't due to anything the two guys did; the crowd were still calming down after the last two segments, and plus, the match was short to boot. Marty got in a few good spots like dropkicks and savate kicks, but Steven dusted off the old Stevie-T to get the victory. Steven left the ring a happy man following the match.
(59%, 52%, 67%, 3/4*)
The crowd were still pumped up from the previous match. Damn.
Segment 9: Chris Jericho vs Muhammed Hassan
This match is alright. The crowd were tiring of Hassan by this point, but they weren't tiring of Rhyno when he ran in about 5 minutes into the match and Gored the hell out of everyone involved. He waits for them both to rise, then does so once again, just to maintain that he's dominant.
(83%, 86%, 77%, **3/4)
Segment 10: What does this have to do with anything?
We go backstage right before break, and we see.....Kane? Lying on the floor? Road agents and medics are all around Kane's fallen body, and the back of his head is bloodied. He's being taken out of the building. But why? When? Who cares? Well apparently I did, otherwise I wouldn't have booked it.
(77%)
--Commercial Break--
Main Event: Non-Title Match - Batista vs Edge
WOW were the crowd hot for this match, even if the action didn't quite hold up. Batista clears Edge from the ring in a hurry, and plays power man through the match. Edge just can't seem to find a formula that works against the monster. Even a low blow gets no results, because we all know that a hoss doesn't have to sell for a low blow. Batista just runs through this match, and Edge is his road. Until the referee goes down from a missed Hossline, of course. But even then, the Money in the Bank briefcase doesn't put down Batista! But that's when help arrives....and she delivers a new, mystical, magic briefcase.
JR: "What the hell is Lita doing out here?!"
Funker: "Well obviously she's not standing by her man, because Kane went to the hospital."
Lita holds Batista's attention for just a moment as he looks at her, but turns and gets blasted by the briefcase. Finally, Batista goes down, and Lita wakes the referee up so that he can count the three! And then, just for the hell of it, Edge and Lita share a big sloppy kiss in the middle of the ring to a host of three word chants that rhyme with you fat cat, as we close the show with JR screaming "Damn you Lita! Damn you straight ta' hell!"
(91%, 99%, 75%, **3/4)
Lita's turn was great, and now she's a heel with the Slut gimmick. Well, they say the best gimmicks are partly in truth...
Show Rating: 80%
We got a 6.11 rating for 'RAW'! The attendance level was 9,036 people, we made $361,440 from ticket sales.
Notes from Double A: "Sylvan and Maven are a good team, but you overused Hassan. The fans stopped caring about seeing him by the time his match came up."
Overness Changes:
Batista - 96 to 94
Charlie Haas - 75 to 80
Muhammed Hassan - 75 to 74
Lita - 83 to 90
Rhyno - 83 to 84
Simon Dean - 64 to 74 (!!)
World Tag Team titles - 75 to 69 (?)
Overall, a VERY successful RAW. Lita's turn worked perfectly, and even though he was a tad overused (I take the blame entirely), Hassan showed that he can pull performing in three segments. A lot of people gained overness, and that makes me very happy. Plus a VERY hot opener and main event, filled in with sprinkles of goodness in the middle of the card. This was our highest rated show by fans who we had plants talk to as they filed out of the arena. Let's only hope that my compatriot, the Sweetest of Simes, can do as well on SmackDown.
See? We're just lazy. Unless one of us comes and says that this is over, go ahead and figure that we're just slowly working on a show.
I tried to make things longer for this show, seeing as how we are now posting our stuff at the "big time" of EWR diaries. Maybe eventually I'll start busting out full results, but don't hold your breath waiting. I didn't quite know about doing the exact same thing that WWE did as far as Edge and Lita either, but rest assured that it'll be okay. And look at it this way, Matt is still on contract in our game, so we won't have to see him being a whiny bitch! But I figure that doing the same thing as what really happened, even if it's a month or so earlier than when it really happened, is like a tribute or something.
Okay, I'll quit rambling on about stuff and let you begin the wait for Sime's next SD.
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Danny Doring and Roadkill def. The Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks
Little Guido had control of this match entirely through, winning easily, then celebrating with Tracey Smothers.
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You made me sad by releasing Stevie. But that aside, I really like this diary.
But as was said earlier, dude, you really should try and pace yourself. I'm not saying get lazy about it, but give it a little bit so that you won't burn out. Unless you're a total workhorse, in which case, keep on it.
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I like this. Good reading and all, but there IS one thing.
See, while it's a good thing that the commentators are very spot on....that's also a bad thing. PLEASE GET RID OF MADDEN!
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WWE Sunday Night Heat
Date: Sunday, April 24th, 2005
Commentators: Joey Styles and Stan Lane
The usual Heat opening plays, and we go right into looking at Joey Styles and Stan Lane.
Styles: "Hello everyone and welcome to Sunday Night Heat! I'm Joey Styles and with me as always is Stan Lane."
Lane: "That's Mister Sweet to you, Joey, and our first match of the night is going to be VERY sweet."
Styles: "You really like getting to see Trish and Christy here, don't you?"
Lane: "Yes. Yes I do."
Styles: "Well the main event won't be that sweet, at least not for the competitors involved, as the Big Red Monster Kane takes on the Man-Best Rhyno."
Lane: "Did I hear you right Joey? They're letting those two go at one another?"
Styles: "Indeed they are. Also, the superteam of The Hurricane and Rosey will take on the Basham Brothers, who have been having quite the slump lately."
Lane: "Sometimes a team just gets into a down time. Not that it ever happened to me and Bobby, but it happens."
Styles: "We also have some highlights from Raw, but first, we have Trish Stratus defending her Women's Championship against Diva Search 2005 Winner Christy Hemme."
Segment 1: WWE Women's Championship Match: Trish Stratus © vs Christy Hemme
Say it with me: BOR-ING! BOR-ING! BOR-ING! Jeez, if I ever think about booking like this again, hit me. Hard. Anyways, the two trade resthold after resthold until Trish decides that she's done screwing around and gives Christy the Stratusfaction for the fall.
(64%, 78%, 33%, -*)
Segment 2: Hype Videos So TOTALLY Rule!
We get to watch a video now documenting the Highli--I mean, "Living With the Edge" segment from Raw, which saw Christian run in and attack Shawn Michaels.
(88%)
Styles: "I'm sure Shawn Michaels will have plenty to say about that attack tomorrow night on Raw, when he faces off with Mister Money-in-the-Bank, Edge, in one-on-one action!"
Lane: "I'd rather have a little one-on-one action with Trish."
Styles: "Trish? Why not Christy?"
Lane: "Weren't you watching? We just saw that Trish doesn't go down."
Joey sighs, as we head backstage.
Segment 3: Down on their Luck
The Basham Brothers are sitting in the locker room talking.
Doug: "Dammit! I can't believe this. I couldn't even manage to defeat Marty Jannetty last week on Heat, then we couldn't beat those two scrawny pieces of trash? What the hell is wrong with us?"
Danny: "I don't know, but I don't like it."
Doug: "We need something. Anything. We were important over on SmackDown! What happened?"
Danny: "I dunno....maybe we just, lost our touch."
A voice then calls from across the room at them.
"Maybe you just need to relieve some stress."
The Bashams jump up to their feet, and walking into the shot is Dawn Marie!
Dawn: "Boys, boys, boys. You act like you're nothing when really, you can be the apple of anyone's eyes. I think I can make something out of you two."
Danny: "Yeah? Well whaddya got lady?"
Dawn: "I have something that will help you when you're in the ring."
Doug: "Yeah? What's that? Hey, weren't you married?"
Dawn: "Yeah, but he died, so who cares about the past? I'm looking forward to your futures! I have everything you boys need to become men, men who are greater than the two whiny kids I see in front of me."
Danny: "Hey lady, we can easily go and get help if we need it! There are a lot of managers around! What about that....uh....Deevareye. Yeah, that guy!"
Dawn: "Daivari may have some knowledge to give you, but I have even better than knowledge to give. And I promise you, this is a one-time offer that is only for you two."
Doug: "Alright Dawn, you have our attention. So, what is this that you have?"
The camera now goes behind Dawn's back, as she reaches down into her shirt. The Bashams stare, open-mouthed, at whatever it is that they see....and then we go to commercial.
(75%)
The gimmick changes were positively received. What were they? Keep reading....
Segment 4: Interrupted Videos So TOTALLY Don't Rule!
We go to a video that shows what happened at Backlash and on Raw between Chris Benoit and Triple H. But the tape skips, and while we still have the footage on, we hear Steven Richards's voice over it!
"These two's video is taking my place on my show? Never! So I'm going to tell you all what I'm going to do. Tomorrow night, I'm going to challenge anyone who's been getting the shaft as far as television time, to come on down and face the Stevie Kick Challenge. I don't blame people for being afraid, because the Stevie Kick DID send Chris Masters packing, and look what it did to his brain! He's a flipped-out freak! Come on Eric, don't keep me off TV! I have bills to pay! Okay, maybe I don't! But you can't keep the Stevie Kick down! I'll show you all! You'll all see!"
(80%)
Segment 5: The Hurricane and Rosey vs The Basham Brothers w/Dawn Marie
Hurricane and Rosey come out to a cheer like usual. But when the Bashams come out....they're staggering all over the place, but are generally having a good time. They're laughing at everything and everyone, and Danny even grabs a fan(plant)'s food while Doug is in the ring and puts it down in a hurry! Everything that Hurricane does, the Bashams just laugh at him, because they're REALLY not feeling any pain now! Finally Doug and Danny start laughing at one another, and they make a plan. They laugh about it again. Doug gets in front of Rosey and pokes him in the eyes, and then hits him with Dawn Marie's purse, sending him staggering back over Danny, who was on his hands and knees on the mat. Danny rolls over Rosey's legs and gets the pin! The Bashams laugh at Hurricane and Rosey as they go up the ramp, and Dawn raises their arms.
(73%, 68%, 79%, **1/2)
Styles: "I think that's the stupidest thing I've ever seen, and that includes Mabel Doink!"
Lane: "I guess Dawn DID give them something to help!"
Styles: "Isn't that illegal?"
Lane: "That depends on if they decide to do a drug testing before matches."
Styles: "Are these three serious? Come on!"
Lane: "Well Joey, it's time for something deathly serious: the main event."
Styles: "That's right. Stay tuned after this commercial break, for Kane versus Rhyno!"
But before we can break, Rhyno comes out, and he has a bag with him. He gets on a microphone.
"They want to call this a match? THIS IS NO F(bleep)NG MATCH! If you want a (bleep)ng match, then we'll put THIS on the line!"
Rhyno reaches into his bag, and he pulls out.....
Styles: "WHAT?! That's the ECW Television title!"
Lane: "That's what was in the bag? Psst...Joey....Are we even allowed to air that?"
Styles: "I don't know!"
Kane's music then plays, and he comes out, nodding his head yes!
Styles: "Yes?! Yes?! It looks like we have an ECW TV title match here!"
Lane: "And that means.....an ECW match right here on Heat!"
Styles: "OH MY GAWD!"
Now we go to commercial break.
Main Event: ECW Television Championship: Rhyno © vs Kane - Hardcore Match
I had kinda expected this match to be better given the nature of the two in it, but it wasn't bad by any means. Especially considering an unofficial title was on the line. Kane finally gets back into his hardcore roots, but really, what the hell is hardcore when compared to EXTREME? Kane's chairshot is ducked and he's met with a violent GORE GORE GORE through the table in the corner for the somewhat easy three count. And again, Rhyno gets a table set up on the outside of the ring and piledrives his defeated foe through it!
(76%, 77%, 74%, **1/4)
Lane: "Who will stop this Man-Best?"
Styles: "No, the question is can ANYONE stop the vile Man-Best from his path of destruction?!"
We get a good shot of Rhyno posing on the ropes above where he took Kane out, with his ECW title hanging from his arm as he leans over the top rope and looks straight ahead, before we fade out on Heat.
Overall rating: 76%
We got a 4.18 rating for Sunday Night Heat. The attendance level was 8,012 people, to gain $320,480 from ticket sales.
Overness Changes:
Stevie Richards: 66 to 67
Rhyno: 81 to 83
Danny Basham: 68 to 69
Doug Basham: 66 to 67
Christy Hemme: 60 to 61
Trish Stratus: 85 to 84
WWE Women's title: 66 to 68
ECW Television: 77 to 79
--------------------------------------------------------
We are now all caught up on repostings. The Raw that follows will be all new stuff.
-
And why does a non televised event in october of 1999, have anything to do august 1998....
-
HUGE TRADE ANNOUNCED!
Just hours after Backlash, Beautiful Beej and Sweet Sime have just made another trade. This one will send Funaki over to RAW for Chris Masters. The Masterpiece is officially a member of Smackdown now and Smackdown's #1 Announcah is RAW. What will happen to the two wrestlers? DUN DUN DUN... stay tuned... although both have plans that will fuck up some stuff. What will they be? Continue, loyal viewers....
----------------------------------------------------------
WWE RAW
Date: Monday, April 18, 2005
Commentators: Jim Ross and Terry Funk
IT'S THE NIGHT AFTER A PAY-PER-VIEW SO WE BROUGHT THE FIREWORKS!! (Sorry Dukes, couldn't help it) We scan the crowd, and then go down to JR and the Funker.
JR: "Last night was Backlash, and we saw a lot of things transpire that will have huge impacts on tonight's Raw!"
Funker: "Most importantly was Batista retaining the World Heavyweight Championship over his former mentor, Triple H."
JR: "General Manager Eric Bischoff has decided that Triple H WOULD get one final shot, but inserted two more men into the match in order to make it fair!"
Funker: "Triple H may have weasled his way into another match for the belt, but against Batista, Kane, and the Big Show, what chance does he have?"
JR: "The Game is a crafty one, but....wait, here comes Ric Flair!"
Funker: "Banana nose..."
Segment 1: BAH GAWD IT'S A TRAP KIN-...TERRY
Ric Flair comes out, and he prompts some Woos from everyone before getting down to business.
"Last night, I can honestly say that I was shown the light. I was shown that Triple H could not win the World Heavyweight Championship from Batista. So I would like to see - ONE MAN - walk, DOWN THAT AISLE - right now, and that's YOU Chris Benwaaah."
"Whatever" starts to play, and Benoit begins walking down to the ring. BUT TRIPLE H IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER! You'd think that Benoit would have seen him while he was behind the curtain. Anyways, he brains Chris with the hammer, and then him and Flair walk backstage together as people come and take Benoit away. ARN~! and DEAN~! are seen, so I mark out.
(87%)
Segment 2: Charlie Haas vs Sylvan Grenier
Haas takes over from the start, and in true jobber fashion, Grenier more or less takes it and doesn't do much but sell. A Haas of Pain finishes things up here, and Haas celebrates his "big" win.
(64%, 71%, 73%, **)
Segment 3: He has something to say. We just can't understand it.
Daivari talks some, and then Hassan basically says that he'll avenge Daivari's loss at Backlash to Haas. REVENGE, HE SAY! But it's not as moving because no matter how many robes they put on, Hassan and Daivari aren't the Sith. Daivari says something else in gibberish. Least it sounds like gibberish to me.
(68%)
Segment 4: The End? Damn.
Chris Jericho is seen walking around backstage, and he sighs when he sees the JeriTron 5000 sitting in a dumpster. He keeps walking, but now with a more determined look on his face.
(87%)
Segment 5: Maven vs Chris Jericho
Yeah, like after that I would job Jericho to MAVEN? Do you think I'm insane? Jericho gets the win with the Lionsault and then raises his arms in joyous manner afterwards.
(71%, 83%, 73%, **1/4)
Segment 6: DUN-DUN-DUN-DAAA DUN-DA-DA
Fortunately, the Bashams are in the ring, and they have a microphone. Unfortunately, Doug is using it.
Doug: "Ever since we got to Raw, we been having NO luck! But our luck is about to change! I understand there's some big deal planned for tonight as far as a tag team goes, and we're gonna come out here to meet it! Because we're the Bashams! We've beaten every team there was to beat on SmackDown! We just haven't found our niche yet on Raw, but we will, and it'll start tonight!"
The Bashams do the "come on!" motion, and suddenly.....THE MUSIC HITS!
Here comes the Ax! And here comes the Smasher! The Demolition! Walking disaster!
PAIN AND DESTRUCTION! IS OUR MIDDLE NAMES!
The crowd are STANDING! They want to see Demolition! BUT LO! WHAT IS THIS?!?!
Funker: "What the hell do they think they're doing?"
Oh yeah, two people in studded leather outfits with their faces painted up all fancy and ready to go to war. But....what the hell?
The White One: "I'm Bam!"
The Japanese One: "H'WAAH!!!"
"Bam": "And we are DEMOLITION - THE NEXT GENERATION!"
"H'WAAH": "H'WAAH!!!"
"Bam": "And we're gonna kick your stinkin' teeth....down your stinkin' throats!"
Which all sounds good. Except "Bam" only stands 5'9, and "H'WAAH" is only 5'7.
JR: "Those two must have taken bumps to the head on their trip to Raw! But this will be a match, NEXT!"
(67%)
Scotty "Bam" Taylor and Sho "H'WAAH" Funaki are now Comedy Characters. Yes, Scotty 2 Hotty and Funaki as Demolition. Let that sink in for a little.
Segment 7: Demolition: TNG vs The Bashams
Yeah, like I'm gonna job those two in their debut. A much shorter version of Demolition Decapitation gets the win for H'WAAH over Danny.
(58%, 51%, 79%, **)
The match was a let-down to the fans, following the last match. How? It was freakin' MAVEN. The Bashams are still losing overness though.
Segment 8: Rhyno vs Rosey
Look up to the Haas/Grenier match. Insert "Rhyno" for Haas, "Rosey" for Grenier, and "GORE FROM HELL" for Haas of Pain. Except Rhyno didn't just celebrate. He piledrove Rosey off the ring apron through a table.
(65%, 72%, 75%, **)
Segment 9: Your show sucks like Lita!
Edge comes out for his new talk show, called Livin' With The Edge. Yeah, that name sucks, but that's the intent.
Edge: "Tonight we see the debut of Livin' With The Edge! I'm your host....Edge! And I would like to bring out my first guest. Now, you may all remember who Chris Jericho's first guest was. No wait, you don't, because not only is he a loser, but all of you are too!"
Cheap shot! Cheap shot!!
"My first guest is none other than.....Shawn Michaels!"
"Sexy Boy" plays, and Michaels comes out, looking leery towards Edge.
JR: "I don't blame Shawn for being nervous. Edge and Christian are definatly in cahoots."
Funker: "They don't have to be 'in cahoots', JR, they're brothers. You have to back your brother no matter what."
JR: "You would know all about that."
Funker: "But if your brother doesn't hold his own you have to hit him with a branding iron."
JR: "Of course."
Edge: "So Shawn, come on in. Sit down. I know how you old folks have to sit down and take a rest after walking too far, and that ramp's a killer. And may I just say, that my brother is right. Your entrance music is so TOTALLY out of style!"
Shawn: "So what exactly did you want me to come out here for? Where's Christian hiding at this week? Is he under the ring? In the crowd? Somehow, I'm not surprised at his actions. Usually if one brother is a cheater, so is the other!"
Big "You Screwed Matt!" chant starts up. Yeah, that kicks some ass.
Funker: "That was like when I wrestled Cactus."
JR: "What's that?"
Funker: "He just got BURNED."
Yeah, that kicks even more ass.
Edge: "Now....now....why would Christian hide under the ring? Or in the crowd? Especially when....he's right there!"
HBK turns around, but no one is there. But when he turns back, Edge hits him with the microphone! Christian comes out from the back carrying Edge's Money in the Bank briefcase, and the two start laying into Shawn with it before leaving happily. I guess that falls under shit happens.
(84%)
Segment 10: BATISTAR~.
Such thrilling cutscenes we have, such as Batista WALKING. He's getting to the arena. He's late. But it's not in the way a woman is late, so I guess it's okay. Damn, he better have his trunks on underneath his outfit, or else he's gonna have a hell of a time getting ready during the commercial break.
(86%)
Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship: Batista © vs Triple H vs Kane vs Big Show
Luckily, Batista DID have his trunks on underneath his pants, but he came out with his shirt on. He took it off before he got to the ring. And then he whipped some ass. And then Kane whipped some ass. And then Show whipped some ass. And just as it got to 3H's turn, Benoit made his big return to the arena and distracted him, making his turn void and getting back to Batista's, who pins 3H.
(71%, 85%, 67%, *3/4)
The title LOST image? Whoa.
73%
We got a 5.56 rating for 'RAW'! The attendance level was 8,016 people, for $320,640 from ticket sales.
Overness Changes:
Big Show: 85 to 84
Danny Basham: 70 to 68
Doug Basham: 67 to 66
Rhyno: 80 to 81
World Heavyweight title: 92 to 90
Sime, your turn. Have fun getting over those little green bumps.
-
WWE Sunday Night Heat
Doug Basham vs Marty Jannetty
Hey, it could have been worse. Jannetty picked up the win following a superkick and Rocker Dropper before "rocking" with a few people from the crowd.
(66, 61, 71, *1/2)
Basham lost 1 point, plus what he lost for his gimmick.
RAW presents: BACKLASH!
Date: April 17, 2005
Announcers: Jim Ross and Terry Funk
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena @ Manchester, Wisconsin
Theme: Trust Company - "Stronger"
"Stronger" plays through the arena, as a shitload of pyro goes off on the stage.
JR: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we have an amazing line-up of matches in store for you all tonight!"
Funker: "That's right Jim, we have matches like the Japanese Buzzsaw Tajiri against that vile son of a (bleep) of a Man-Beast Rhyno."
JR: "We know you have some extra added motivation for wanting to see Tajiri take out Rhyno in that one. We will also witness the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels taking on the self-proclaimed Captain Charisma Christian."
Funker: "He really does have cooler entrance music, though."
JR: "There will be a rematch from two Raws ago, when Edge put his Money in the Bank contract on the line against the Highlight Reel of Chris Jericho. The two wrestled to the time limit draw, and so last week's scheduled Highlight Reel, where Jericho was going to interview Muhammed Hassan, never took place!"
Funker: "But that also means that Jericho has rights to Edge's Money in the Bank contract, which is why the two planned to settle things tonight at Backlash."
JR: "And of course this will all lead up to the big No Disqualification main event of the night, where the World Heavyweight Championship will be on the line!"
Funker: "That's right. Batista used his brain rather than simply his muscles in making the deal where Triple H cannot receive a title shot while Batista holds the title if he loses, but Eric Bischoff allowed Triple H to make the match No Disqualification."
JR: "Well for once I almost have to agree with Bischoff. These two men just cannot be contained in a normal match."
Funker: "But look, JR, it's time for what might be one of my favorite matches of this show!"
While "Stronger" faded out and everyone sat down, the sound of Chris Masters's entrance theme began to play and he started his elaborate entrance. But while his back was turned, he was attacked by Steven Richards! Stevie slammed Masters's head into the barricade, and then threw him into the ring as the bell sounds.
Match 1: Chris Masters vs Steven Richards
This actually wasn't too bad of a match. I mean, it could have been a lot better given someone other than Masters, but what the hell? At the end, Masters had made a solid comeback, and was ready to hook on the Masterlock and finish Stevie off, when he got a sudden idea. He decided he'd go for another Polish Hammer to break Steven's nose again, and yes, the Funker did indeed mention that fact. So Steven was sent off to the ropes, but he DUCKS! MASTERS TURNS AROUND INTO A STEVIE KICK! 1! 2! 3! Steven Richards pins Chris Masters! Masters is LIVID when he gets back to his feet, putting the referee in the Masterlock.
(62, 52, 73, *1/2)
Segment 2: I love when a good debut comes together.
Muhammed Hassan and Khosrow Daivari come out from the curtain now, and they walk to the ring. Daivari says something, and Hassan translates into english.
"Good evening....you fat Ame-ican pigs! I had to put out an open challenge in order to just get ON this pay-per-view, so I am not in the best of moods to say the least."
Funker: "Maybe his local Qwik-E-Mart shut down."
JR: "What?"
Funker: "That's why he's not in the best of moods."
"So I made the challenge. So one of you ignorant Ame-icans can walk down that ramp and climb into the ring that my brother's only child had to put together so that you idiots wouldn't have to do so yourselves, and find out that I am only a bad person when I am mistreated."
Suddenly THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!!! Because the very familiar metallic yet majestic opening riff of the world's GREATEST ENTRANCE THEME (save Repo Man) starts up, bringing out.....
JR: "CHARLIE HAAS! MAH GAWD IT'S CHARLIE HAAS!"
Funker: "I've seen this kid at work, he might make sure that Hassan is talking out the other side of his mouth on those remarks about the fat Americans."
Haas goes down to the ring and rolls in, grabbing Hassan's microphone from him and backing down Daivari right away.
Haas: "You wanted an American to answer your challenge? I was an ALL-American! So come on Hassan, let's get the bell rung, and let's go!"
Haas throws the microphone down, and Hassan meekly picks it up, keeping an eye on Haas.
Hassan: "Oh. Haas, is it? Well I am sorry to disappoint you, because the challenge was not for me. It was for.....Daivari!"
AND DAIVARI LOOKS READY TO PISS HIS PANTS~. But Hassan leaves the ring and tells Daivari some words of encouragement that sounds like gibberish to people who don't speak their language.
(87)
Haas gained 3 points for his RAW PPV debut, and Hassan gained 1 for being a cowardly heel.
Match 3: Khosrow Daivari vs Charlie Haas
Daivari doesn't get the chance to input any of Hassan's great knowledge, because Haas gives him a German suplex right at the start and doesn't let up until rolling back with the Haas of Pain to get the submission. Hassan looks ready to try something, but he backs away when Haas is ready for him. Haas holds his arms high, loving it as Hassan and Daivari head back to the locker room.
(70, 67, 74, **)
Funker: "What a bad day for Daivari. He comes here and gets destroyed by Charlie Haas, and earlier today he lost his job at the Qwik-E-Mart that closed down."
JR: "Well nonetheless, Charlie Haas picks up a big victory here tonight. But next, folks, we have a big lineup of matches that are dealing with one thing: revenge."
Funker: "That's right, JR, and while they are all great matches, one sticks out in my mind the most, and that is the one that is coming up next between Tajiri and that son of a bitch Rhyno."
JR: "It was just two weeks ago that Rhyno decided to make his return to RAW, and he did so by delivering the Gore to William Regal, a man who has had documented internal stomach problems, and then doing so to Tajiri on the steel ramp."
Funker: "And then putting me through this very entrance table last week on RAW. That son of a...."
JR: "I think we understand, Terry. Calm down, you have to stay at the table."
So of course, Rhyno comes out and the first thing he does is go harass Terry Funk. But Tajiri comes from behind and hits Rhyno with a chair! He keeps hitting him, and drags him down to the ring.
Funker: "I think we see a pattern developing here tonight, JR...."
Match 4: Tajiri vs Rhyno
And Tajiri actually squashes the hell out of Rhyno! He keeps kicking him (HARD TOO!), putting him down with moves from the ropes, and just anything he can try to do in order to put Rhyno away, but it always gets a 2 count. Finally Tajiri tries a different approach, and he uses the Green Mist. AND IT JUST PISSES HIM OFF~!~! Rhyno stands straight up and Gores the fuck out of Tajiri to get the win. Rhyno starts to leave the ring afterwards, but just for good measure he goes back in and Gores Tajiri a second time.
(79, 72, 87, ***1/4)
Match 5: Chris Jericho vs Edge
The crowd was pretty hot in this match, though there was only a small amount of fans screaming "You Screwed Matt!" at Edge. The end of the match saw Jericho locking in the Walls on Edge, but Christian came down and hit Jericho with a chair to break the hold behind the referee's back, giving Edge the victory and the Highlight Reel. E&C mock Jericho as he is on his back following the chairshot, and they grab another chair and wait for him to get up so they can deliver a Con-chair-to to him, when Shawn Michaels runs out and breaks it up! Jericho and Michaels clean house, with Jericho finally firing off a Cactus Clothesline that sends he and Edge out of the ring, leaving the next match in place!
(85, 90, 74, **1/2)
Edge gains 1 for screwing Matt while he's not healthy enough to defend himself.
Match 6: Shawn Michaels vs Christian
No Edge or Jericho outside the ring for this one, these two have to deal with one another one-on-one. And Christian shows what kind of person he is, when he ducks a Sweet Chin Music (no small feat itself) but follows by hooking the tights and getting the pin with a rollup. Christian rolls out of the ring and celebrates his "huge" victory, as Michaels protests to the referee.
(87, 88, 86, ***1/2)
Christian gains 1 for having cooler entrance music. Deal with it.
Ric Flair is getting ready to go out to the ring with Triple H, when he's pulled aside....once again, by Chris Benoit.
Benoit: "Ric! Going to try and giftwrap the World Heavyweight title for Triple H again?"
Flair: "None of your business, Benwah!"
Benoit: "No, you are misunderstanding me, Ric. I said that I will show you that Triple H's side is not where you should be, and I plan to put my words into actions."
Flair: "Just what are you talking about?"
Benoit: "Wait and see Ric....and we'll see if I can't have proven you wrong."
Benoit walks away, and Flair shakes his head before heading toward the curtain to the ring.
(76)
Benoit loses 2 because he's got next to no charisma.
Main Event: No Disqualification for the World Heavyweight Championship: Batista © vs Triple H
Well at least the crowd was in it. It wasn't a BAD match. But it wasn't a very good one either. The end came and witnessed Triple H ready to use the sledgehammer on Batista, when Chris Benoit came out and took it from him, then hit him with it, sending him back into a big sitdown powerbomb from Batista to retain the title! Batista holds the title high, as Benoit screams "I told you Ric! I told you!" to end the show.
(86, 91, 76, **3/4)
The WHC gains image.
Show Rating: 79%
We got a 1.52 buy rate and 17,938 people in attendance. We made $3,800,000 from pay-per-view revenue and $1,076,280 from ticket sales.
Road Agent note: Jericho and Edge didn't quite click in their match. Well, glad I'm done with that, then.
Overness changes:
Charlie Haas - 72 to 75
Chris Benoit - 93 to 91
Chris Masters - 32 to 34
Christian - 83 to 84
Doug Basham - 70 to 67
Edge - 88 to 89
Muhammed Hassan - 74 to 75
Rhyno - 79 to 80
Steven Richards - 64 to 66
World Heavyweight Championship - 90 to 92
-
My opinion is usually that diaries that have a few inconsistencies can still be done well. So taking those things into account (which I did, when I read over this yesterday), it's well-written and acts pretty well like ECW as I know it.
As far as Sandman/Bigelow being the first match, ECW usually had a big match at the start of the show, like how some ECW on TNNs had the World Champ in the main event, and then the main event was a match with a storyline behind it. For example:
October 1, 1999: World Champion, Mike Awesome, pinned Rhino...Spike Dudley defeated Little Guido and Sal E. Graziano...From Anarchy Rulz, Danny Doring and Amish Roadkill defeated CW Anderson and Bill Whiles...Yoshihiro Tajiri pinned Tommy Dreamer. -
WWE RAW
Date: Monday, April 11, 2005
Announcers: Jim Ross and Terry Funk~!
Segment 1: SHOCKING~! Or something. I guess.
We're backstage, seeing Eric Bischoff behind his desk in his office.
"You know, I decided last week that I would punish Batista for putting Triple H in a compromising situation at Backlash. But then I realized, that Triple H put himself in that position! So he too shall be punished tonight, by facing the Big Red Machine, KANE! So let's go to the ring, because that match is NEXT."
(88%)
Segment 2: Kane vs Triple H
Hey, it wasn't too bad of a match. Could have been better I guess, but what the hell. The end came when Ric Flair gave 3H the sledgehammer and distracted the referee, allowing the cheap shot and the pin for 3H. The ref is dumb because Triple H and Flair walk away with the sledgehammer held high above their heads and he doesn't pay any attention.
(86%, 88%, 82%, ***1/4)
Segment 3: Battle of the Authority Figures! Well, at least it would be if this were 2003.
Backstage with Bischoff again, and we cut in on a conversation he's having. We can't see who he's talking to, we only see Bischoff.
"Now, I know that you have greivances with what happened out there, but you have to look at this realistically."
His guest steps forward and slaps his hands on the counter, and it's STEVIE~!
"Come on Eric! You know that no one can kick out of the Stevie Kick! But Batista gave me a sneak attack! He pulled the tights! He went right for my nose that isn't fully healed yet! You know that my neck was broken back in 97, I can't turn my head well enough to have seen him coming at me from behind!"
"Your neck didn't have anything to do with it. It was a fair fight, albeit one that you lost. And very decisively, I might add."
"We're pals Eric! Remember when you gave me Heat? That was good times! Do your brother a favor!"
"A favor? I keep you on the active roster, give you airtime every week, and pay you! And now you want a favor?"
"Well....yeah."
"Well, I'll tell you what I can do."
"You're gonna do a brother a favor? Thank you! Thank you so much Eric! You won't regret this, I swear!"
Stevie then gets up and leaves the room quickly, and Eric simply shakes his head.
"I'm not being paid enough to have to put up with this."
(76%)
Segment 4: The Hurricane and Rosey vs The Basham Brothers
Yes, the Bashams debut on Raw tonight. And get pasted by Hurricane and Rosey, as Danny falls cleanly to the Eye of the Hurricane. The Bashams are STUNNED and SHOCKED, while Hurricane and Rosey are ECSTATIC and CELEBRATING.
(72%, 70%, 75%, **)
Segment 5: The man makes a good point.
Ric Flair is backstage, and Chris Benoit walks up to him now.
Benoit: "Ric! How's your conscience now?"
Flair: "What do you mean? What do you want?"
Benoit: "I mean you attacking Kane out there."
Flair: "I have to keep Triple H as fresh as possible."
Benoit: "Hm. I've beaten Kane plenty of times, and still was able to keep Triplie H at bay while I had the World title."
Flair: "Yeah? And what the hell do you mean by that?!"
Benoit: "Just think about it, Ric."
Benoit walks away, and Flair looks puzzled before going back to what he was doing.
(80%)
Segment 6: Edge and Christian vs Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit
Damn this was a good match. Hot crowd, hot action, nice star rating. Ended up with Christian pulling the tights and putting his feet on the ropes with Edge holding them to get the win over HBK. E&C then headed up the ramp quickly, holding their arms in the air all the way, as Christian yells out "I told you my entrance music is better than your's!" Right, Christian.
(91%, 90%, 92%, ****1/4)
Segment 7: Live from the Hospital. Maybe.
We look at JR and Terry Funk, and they tell us that they have a feed via telephone from the hospital where William Regal and Tajiri are staying.
JR: "Can you hear us?"
Tajiri: "*Japanese*"
Funk: "He said yes, JR."
Regal: "Hello, everyone."
JR: "Hello, William. Now, I have one question for you two."
Regal: "I have a feeling I know what it is. You're going to ask us about Rhyno's attack last week on Raw."
JR: "Yes, I was. And also, when can we expect to see you return?"
Regal: "As far as my return, the doctors are hopeful but skeptical. They say that I could be returning to action anytime from one month to three months. As far as Tajiri, however, he will be ready as soon as....Sunday."
JR: "Tajiri will be back in time for Backlash?"
Regal: "He will be on hand to witness the destruction of that bloody toerag who calls himself Rhyno. Listen here, sunshine; you thought you were making an impact by taking us out? You have only served to make my charge mad. Tajiri, what do you think about that?"
Tajiri: "Rhyno....will....DIE!"
Regal: "Precisely, Tajiri."
JR: "Well that will be a slobberknocker of a match if it's accepted. We will say goodbye for now, and let you get back to your rehabbing."
Regal: "Goodbye, Sonny Jim."
The phone line clicks off, and we head into the next segment.
(67%)
Segment 8: Calling someone who cares?
We're backstage again, and Rhyno is talking on a cell phone.
"Yeah....yeah. It's almost time that they know what they're dealing with. They thought that Tajiri and Regal were bad, wait'll they get a look at what I'm doing tonight! I'm gonna ****ing Kill him! He will be ****ing DEAD!"
Yeah. Ooooookay.
(68%)
Segment 9: So who has what now?
Chris Jericho is getting ready for his upcoming Highlight Reel, when Edge walks over to him.
Edge: "Hey Chris, what are you doing?"
Jericho: "I'm getting ready for my upcoming Highlight Reel."
See? I told ya.
Edge: "You mean MY upcoming Highlight Reel, right?"
Jericho: "Excuse me?"
Edge: "Yeah. You so totally couldn't beat me last week in our match, so now the Highlight Reel is mine! I think I'll rename it, start calling it 'The Show that Doesn't Completely Suck!' What do ya think, Chris?"
Jericho: "I think you're missing the point. We had a match where if you WON, you got the Highlight Reel. You didn't win."
Edge: "But you didn't win, which means I won! So get out of the way amatuer, and let someone show you how to do a talk show!"
Jericho: "You're not going out there."
Edge: "Who's going to stop me? You?"
Jericho: "Damn right I will."
The two have a staredown, and finally they just say "Forget it" and go their seperate ways for now.
(89%)
Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship - Batista © vs The Big Show
A lot better match than what it should have been, I tell ya what. It ends up with Triple H running out from the back while the referee is down, only to hit....Big Show? He hammers Show, allowing Batista to get the win. Batista notices 3H walking away and gets pissed (like it takes much?) but turns around and gets hit with AAAAAHHHHTheChokeslam!
(85%, 85%, 86%, ***1/2)
Segment 11: DEAD! DEAD! ****ING DEAD!
We're almost ready to sign off, when suddenly RHYNO GOOD GAWD comes out and attacks the announce position! He throws JR aside and goes right for Terry Funk, pounding away on him before lifting him up onto the table and hitting a vicious sitout piledriver on the Funker! We sign off with Rhyno standing over the convulsing Funk, and JR screaming for help.
(70%)
Overall rating: 78%
We got a 5.98 rating for 'RAW'! The attendance level was 7,536 people, for $301,440 from ticket sales.
Rosey thinks he should be further up the card. I don't. I like Rosey and all, but I don't.
Michaels and Benoit ended up working really well as a team.
Stevie Richards - 64 to 66
Big Show - 86 to 85
Doug and Danny Basham - 70 to 69 (Due to their Bodyguard gimmicks. Don't worry, I have plans setting in.)
The floor is your's, Sime.
-
WWE Sunday Night Heat
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005
Announcers: Joey Styles and Stan Lane
The usual highlight video opens the show, and Joey Styles and Stan Lane are heard from their location supposedly at the commentator's table.
Joey: "Welcome to another show of Sunday Night Heat folks, I'm Joey Styles and with me is my colleague, 'Sweet' Stan Lane."
Lane: "That's what the girls usually call me, Joey. You can just call me Mister Lane."
Joey: "ANYWAYS, tonight we're going to see three big matches."
Lane: "That's right, we have a Women's title match between long-reigning champion Trish Stratus and challenger Victoria. You know I loves the womenfolk, Joey!"
Joey: *under his breath* "Well you talk about them enough for a guy who's almost fifty...."
Lane: "What was that Styles?"
Joey: "I said that the match between superhero Rosey and the fitness instructor Simon Dean probably won't be very pretty."
Lane: "Oh....well, you certainly got that right."
Joey: "And we get to witness another Stevie Kick Challenge, featuring that putz Steven Richards. I don't know who he'll be against tonight, but I'm sure he'll be his usual crazy self for the match."
Lane: "But Eric Bischoff never told him anything about a Stevie Kick Challenge, it's all in Steven's head!"
Joey: "That's why he's a total putz, Stan."
"I'll Show you! You'll see!" cuts off their next thoughts, as Stevie Richards comes out from the curtain.
Segment 1: Alas poor Stevie, we knew him well. Well not really.
Steven Richards has a microphone in the ring, and he begins to address the crowd.
"People, I am here to say that thus far, the Stevie Kick Challenge has been a massive success! And do you know why that is?"
Lane: "We're as confused as you, Stevie."
Joey: "And make no mistake, he IS confused!"
"It's because I haven't had any kind of challenge! I mean, Mark Henry? Tyson Tomko? Is this some sort of joke? I am no joke!"
Joey: "Oh yes you are!"
Lane: "Quiet down Joey, let the madman speak his piece."
"So I have made it my personal duty to find a challenge for myself. A man great enough to make a good opponent for me tonight on Stevie Night Heat. I spoke with him in the back, and he is ready and willing to let it be known that I have the most dominant finishing maneuver in the WWE. I will bring him out here now. And that man is....the World Heavyweight champion! Batista!"
The music starts playing as the crowd starts getting excited.
Joey: "I take it back! He's not a putz, he's INSANE!"
Lane: "Batista?! Is he even on Heat anymore?!"
Joey: "It looks like he is tonight, because HERE HE COMES!"
Batista walks out onto the stage and walks down to the ring, and he has a microphone with him. Batista slides into the ring and walks right up into Steven's face, backing him away in a hurry. He then begins speaking to Stevie.
"Richards....have you lost what little mind you had? You want to challenge the unleashed animal to a match?"
"Hey....come on man, we talked back there...."
"You said hello to me as I passed by! That was all!"
"We had an agreement-"
"You didn't tell me about it. But, I have a big match tomorrow night on RAW against The Big Show. I wouldn't mind a warm-up. Steven? Be ready. You'll need it."
Batista walks away and out of the ring, up the ramp, and behind the curtain. Then Stevie gets on his mic again.
"Oh yeah?! Well you'll see! You won't get back up once I hit the Stevie Kick! You're lucky I don't want your title on the line tonight, because I could take it just like that!"
Stevie tries to snap his fingers, but it doesn't work. He tries a few times, and finally he gets one. His eyes go wide as he screams "Yeah!" and we go to commercial.
(84%)
Segment 2: Rosey vs Simon Dean
Dean looks pissed tonight. I guess it's because we didn't have time for him to do an interview and pimp the Simon System tonight. Hey, it happens. He still delivers some of it to Rosey, right in the back of the head, before catching a quick rollup and getting the win. He pulls a few pills from his boot and places a the supplements in Rosey's mouth before leaving the ring. Yeah, I'm ripping off Ted Dibiase with Simon Dean, what of it? Yeah, that's what I thought.
(61%, 63%, 74%. *3/4)
Joey: "Another cheap win there by Simon Dean."
Lane: "Only if you don't get caught, Joey! Did you never listen to Jesse Ventura?"
Joey: "I love the governor. If I didn't, he'd introduce me to Old Painless."
Lane: "Nice obscure reference, Joey! I'm sure NONE of the kids out there know what you're talking about."
Joey: "With what, the governor or Old Painless?"
Lane: "You know, I have this device backstage in my bag that I call Old Painless. See, what it does...."
Joey: "Hey hey hey, your woman pleasing talk already got us moved to a later timeslot!"
Lane: "Joey, it's a pair of slacks! See, they're baggy, and that way you don't have any pain when you wear them!"
Joey: "Suuuuure, Stan. ANYWAYS, let's move our attention back to the show, shall we?"
Lane: "Yes, because we're about to see one of my favorite parts from last Monday night. Roll the footage."
Segment 3: Hype Hype Hype, Part I.
We now get a video detailing the backstage words between Shawn Michaels and Christian. Want to see it? Go find it when I wrote it out the first time. And at the end we see the ending of the Benoit/Christian match, with HBK and Edge running out to help their companions to end RAW.
(93%)
Lane: "My sources have let me know that due to what happened at the end of that match, we're to see a tag team match tomorrow night on RAW between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit against Edge and Christian!"
Joey: "That match will be insane! Benoit and Michaels have only teamed a few times, but every chance we saw them together it was an amazing match."
Lane: "And Edge and Christian are seven-time Tag Team champions with one another! Oh yes, that match will be great indeed."
Joey: "Up next, we will see a WWE Women's title defense, between Trish Stratus and Victoria! Don't go away!"
Lane: "I know I wouldn't."
Segment 6: WWE Women's Championship - Trish Stratus © vs Victoria
If you don't know what's happening here then you don't know much. Yeah, Trish wins by cheating. And she holds her title high for all to see at the end. Believe me, that was about all there was to the match.
(64%, 80%, 56%, 1/2*)
Lane: "Hey Joey, get away from me. You're scaring Trish away. Think I got a chance with her?"
Joey: "Only if you have gold and were twenty years younger."
Lane: "I have a few World and United States Tag Team titles back at the hideout. That's two titles, so that counts for more. Think so?"
Joey: "....Not really. Regardless of my colleague trying to land a babe who is almost twenty years younger than he is, next we are about to show some disturbing footage from RAW last Monday. This was just a heinous attack when Rhyno Gored--"
Lane: "That's what I'd do with Trish."
Joey: "Do you mind?"
Lane: "Not at all."
Joey: "Rhyno Gored William Regal, a man who had a severe heart problem just two years ago. And then, what he did to Tajiri! Let's roll the footage."
Segment 5: Hype Hype Hype, Part II.
The footage is rolled, and it shows Rhyno on RAW Goring Tajiri on the ramp. We then see Rhyno hitting Regal with the Gore, and two slow motion images of him doing so to both Regal and Tajiri. And then we see him Gore Coachman. Alright.
(64%)
Joey: "I don't know what's gotten into Rhyno! I know he can be a psychopath, but he almost ended the careers of three people in one night!"
Lane: "Well they don't call him a violent man-beast for no reason, you know."
Joey: "I know, but he seemed to have gained a conscience over the past few months!"
Lane: "Enough talk about Rhyno for now, Joey. We'll have to see what he plans to do tomorrow night."
Joey: That's right, Rhyno WILL be in the building tomorrow night on RAW, but with Coachman, William Regal, and Tajiri out due to the injuries they sustained, who will feel the rage of the Rabid Man-beast?"
Lane: "I know I'll be staying away from RAW as long as he's on the show."
Joey: "Up next, we will see what will likely be the end of Steven Richards, as he takes on the World Heavyweight Champion, Batista, in the 'Stevie Kick Challenge'. Don't go away!"
Lane: "It's going to be really fun to watch, in an end-of-his-career kind of way...."
We go to commercial break, and come back to see Steven walking out from the curtains. Batista then comes out behind him, drawing the insane pop of the night. I guess having Simon Dean and Rosey on the show kinda means that Batista will get the best reaction of the show, doesn't it?
Main Event: Non-title Stevie Kick Challenge: Batista © vs Steven Richards
Say it with me: SQUASH! Batista gets in the ring, hits Stevie with some major power moves, and delivers the big sit-down powerbomb to pick up the very easy victory. Batista holds his title up and yells "First Big Show, then I'm coming for YOU, Triple H!" as we fade out for the night.
(69%, 78%, 75%, **1/4)
After-show Notes
We got a 4.09 rating for 'Sunday Night Heat'. The attendance level was 7,527 people, to gain $301,080 from ticket sales.
NWA Wildside and WXW Rage want to compete, but they suck.
Victoria steps into the midcard, from lower.
Christian would like to face Hurricane. Cool.
Overness changes:
Steven Richards - 62 to 64
Christian - 82 to 83
Trish Stratus - 86 to 85
Women's title - 66 (I didn't have it previously written down)
-
WWE RAW
Date: Monday, April 4th, 2005
Commentators: Jim Ross and ?
Segment 1: No More Bull****.
Before the opening video plays, we see Rhyno backstage in front of a somewhat cowering Eric Bischoff. Rhyno screams at him "YOU DON'T WANT ME HERE? I'LL MAKE YOU WANT ME HERE!"
RAW's opening begins playing, but is cut off halfway through, because while Jonathan Coachman was making his way toward the commentry booth, he was hit from behind by Rhyno! Rhyno screams out "YOU DIDN'T WANT ME ON THIS SHOW? I'LL MAKE YOU PAY! I'LL MAKE YOU ALL PAY! THERE WILL BE NO MORE BULL****!" before hitting Coach with a massive GORE against the RAW banner wall! Eric Bischoff comes out flanked with policemen, and they escort Rhyno away as Bischoff goes to do commentary in Coach's stead.
JR: "I guess I'm to be honored by YOUR presence tonight."
Eric: "Don't give me any of your sass Ross, I have enough to deal with. I assigned Coach to do commentary tonight, I didn't expect to have to do it."
JR: "Looks like you can't control Rhyno there."
Eric: "That man is a monster JR, no one can control him."
JR: "He is a hoss, no doubt about it."
(69%) Coachman gains 1 point by getting beaten up.
Segment 2: We All Knew it Was Coming....
Batista's theme then starts playing, and he walks out from behind the curtain holding the World Heavyweight title over his shoulder.
JR: "There is he folks, the man who dethroned Triple H at Wrestlemania 21! The man who is our NEW World Heavyweight Champion, Batista!"
Eric: "I think he's just the man who is holding the title for the next challenger."
JR: "Well be that as it may, Eric, I think Batista will be a worthy champion. And it is so VERY nice to not have to see Triple H come out here to start the show every week with that title around his waist.
Eric: "You will address me as MISTER Bischoff, Ross."
JR: "Yeah, I see you don't bother talking about how it's nice to not see Triple H out here to start the show.
Batista gets a microphone and begins to address the crowd.
"This has been a long time coming. And I would like you all to know, that now that I have taken the title from Triple H and dismantled Evolution, THE ANIMAL! WILL TRULY! BE UNLEASHED!"
Batista is then cut off by a loud crashing riff over the PA system.
Time to play the Game.....TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
Triple H walks out from behind the curtain and stands at the top of the ramp with mic in hand.
"BATISTA! You were, are, and will forever be, MY animal! You thought you could break away from me?! Not so fast, because on April 17th at Backlash, I will be taking back....what is MINE!"
Batista: "So, Triple H. You can't stand to not have this *patting the title belt* around your waist and this *smacking himself in the chest* at your side. Well you know what? You have no room to bargain with me for another shot!"
3H: "Alright. Then name your price. You want me to admit that you beat me at WrestleMania? Fine. You beat me at WrestleMania. You want me to kick some ass and earn it? Fine. Bring out someone....doesn't matter who, what the hell, give me Chris Jericho, and I'll kick his ass and earn my shot."
At this point, the crowd cheers but every smark at home groans loudly.
Batista: "No, there's no need for you to lose to Jericho. I will make you a wager. I will give you a match at Backlash, but if I beat you, then you will never get a shot at this title while I hold it again!"
Triple H: "You think that scares me? Fine. You got it. But if I win...."
Batista: "You get no part to this wager. You get what you want, and when I win, I get what I want. That's that."
3H: "What?! How dare you talk to me like that! How can you-"
Batista: "Sound man, hit my music."
Batista's music starts to play, and Batista goes out of the ring through the crowd as Triple H FUMES~! at the top of the ramp.
(84%)
JR: "Batista just outwitted Triple H! Again!"
Eric: "I will not let this stand, Ross. This is a major matter between these two, and no one-sided wager will solve it. This needs action."
Segment 3: The Peeps have Decided....I guess.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAckstage again, where Christian is walking around talking toward no one in particular. He finally runs into Shawn Michaels....literally.
"Whoa! Shawn! How's it going? Heh....how's the ankle?"
"Fine, Christian. How's the ego? I'm sure seeing your brother get over on you yet again was quite the bruise."
"Hey, stay out of my business! Before I make you part of my business!"
"Ooooh, touchy. Now, I have things to do, do you mind?"
"Oh, I know what it is, Shawn. You're just jealous!"
"Jealous? I'm the Showstopper! What could I have to be jealous of?"
"You're jealous because....um....because the Peeps have decided: my entrance music is WAY cooler than your's!"
"Entrance music? Now--"
"Yeah! I can totally see all the jealousness across your face!"
"Jealousness? Now Christian, I respect ya man."
"I'm not finished! You're jealous because you're not the Showstopper anymore! You're jealous because I really AM Captain Charisma! And you're jealous because at any point right now, I'm about two lines away from a kazoo!"
"Kazoo? Wha--have you lost your mind?"
"I'm seeing clearly, Shawn! Your supreme jealousousity is written all over that old, wrinkled mug of your's! I'm better than you at picking entrance music, playing the kazoo, being good looking, oh yeah, and wrestling too!"
"Hey! I don't know about all the other things, but no one says that I can't look good and wrestle anymore!"
"You just said you still looked good! Dude, you're married! You're not supposed to think you still look good! And what's with the old-as-hell music, anyways? You're not a sexy boy anymore, and you're not a boy toy. You used to be a Captain Charisma, but now you're just a....uh....you're a....General Pain! Yeah!"
"Christian, you know that a General is higher than a Captain, right?"
"Don't correct me! You just stay out of the way, or else you'll see what the new generation of Captain Charisma will do to you, just like I'm going to do to Benoit tonight in the main event! Hey....you could never beat Benoit. So when I do it tonight, I'm going to show that I'm better than you! Score!"
Christian goes for a high five, but HBK is the only person around, so he just kind of walks off and leaves Michaels confused as all hell.
(84%)
JR: "What the hell did we just see?"
Eric: "I'm not sure, but here comes this whack-job."
JR: "Last night on Heat we saw Steven Richards telling us all about his 'Stevie Kick Challenge' that you apparently allowed, Eric."
Eric: "I have no idea what he's talking about. I didn't make up any 'Stevie Kick Challenge'."
JR: "At any rate, here comes the next man to be put to the challenge."
Segment 4: Stevie Kick Challenge Part Two: Steven Richards vs Tyson Tomko
Another match, another *. Damn, I need to be doing better soon or else.....something. I don't know, but it'll not be good. Anyways, Tomko is unable to kick out of a surprise Stevie Kick, so Steven moves on in his, and I quote: "path to Master domination!" Okay, thank you for that Steven.
(58%, 62%, 68%, *1/4)
JR: "And Steven moves on in his Stevie Kick Challenge, onward to Backlash on the 17th to face Chris Masters."
Eric: "I still have no idea why he is doing this 'Stevie Kick Challenge'....he never brought it up to me like he said he did."
And we take a quick commercial break, before coming back, and the entrance theme of Chris Jericho is playing. And it's set up in the ring; time for the Highlight Reel!
Segment 5: Highlight Reel Time!
Jericho is in the ring, and he begins the show.
"Welcome to.....THE HIGHLIGHT REEL!"
A loud cheer goes up, and Jericho waits for it to stop before he continues.
"Only on RAW! IS! JERICHO!"
Another cheer.
"And now it is his pleasure for me to introduce, my guest for the night, EDGE!"
The crowd begins to boo, as "Metalingus" begins to play through the arena. Edge walks out in street clothes but carrying his briefcase.
Jericho: "So now Edge, I understand that you now hold an Undisputed championship match in your palm, whenever you wish to take it."
Edge: "Chris, don't act cute. You know that is true, and you know that it was I who defeated you and four other men in the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania."
The crowd cheers for the Money in the Bank match.
Edge: "And you know that you want this power. I hold power over Batista. I could have him beaten down horribly, and then take my title shot while he's bleeding and destroyed. Any time I want it, not any time that he wants it."
Jericho: "I also see that you have that briefcase with you. Are you even sleeping with the briefcase now? Or does it just have to share the bed?"
And that cues the "You screwed Matt! You screwed Matt!" chants. Edge looks around before looking back toward Jericho.
Edge: "I.....uh, I don't know what you're talking about. I keep this briefcase locked up tight."
Jericho: "Of course, of course."
Edge: "Do you have something important to say to me? Or are you going to act like a fool and believe everything you read on the internet?"
Jericho: "I can't help that the internet speaks the truth, Edge. But yes, I do have something I want to say to you. I want to extend my hand, and be a man about this whole Money in the Bank thing."
Edge: "Alright....and I'll be a man and extend my middle finger to you! I know you're going to hit me with that microphone."
Jericho: "And I know that you're going to hit me with that briefcase. So why don't we leave the microphones and briefcases out of this, and just have a match later on tonight?"
BIG POP from the crowd for that one.
Jericho: "Come on, Edge. We'll even make a bet. If I win, you give me your briefcase. If you win, I'll give you my microphone."
Edge: "Your microphone? What? Why would I do that?"
Jericho: "Yes, my microphone. Meaning that if you are able to defeat me, then you will have the microphone of the Highlight Reel."
Edge: "Well, if that's the way you want it...."
Edge then tries to hit Jericho with the briefcase, but Jericho ducks! He gets ready to hit Edge with the microphone, but Edge slides out of the ring and walks toward the curtain at the top of the ramp saying "I'll see you later."
(91%) Edge gains 2 points by reminding everyone of the Money in the Bank match.
JR: "Jericho and Edge later tonight! Bah Gawd that match will be awesome! And with the briefcase against the Highlight Reel as well!"
Eric: "Pssssh, come on Ross, you can't honestly tell me that Jericho against Edge will have been a better idea than Jericho against Nick Patrick."
JR: "Well with logic like that, I won't bother doubting it."
Eric: "Thank you Jim! So glad you're seeing things my way finally."
JR: "Well at any rate, when we come back, we're about to have one hell of a match, as William Regal and Tajiri defend their titles against Muhammed Hassan and Khosrow Daivari!"
Eric: "You're welcome for such a great match."
We take commercial break, and when we come back, Hassan and Daivari are making their way down to the ring. When they are in the ring, Regal and Tajiri come down the ramp and slide into the ring, awaiting the bell.
Segment 6: World Tag Team Championships - William Regal and Tajri © vs Hassan and Daivari
I wanted SO much more from this match. Really, I did. But it just wasn't to be. Anyways, toward the end Hassan goes up to the top rope while Daivari holds Tajiri. Hassan screams out "HASSSAAAAAAAAAAAAN......CHOP!" before diving off with a tomahawk chop, but Tajiri moves and it hits Daivari, and the IMMENSE FORCE of the HASSAAAAAAN CHOP fells Khosrow, and Regal gets the pin.
BUT WAIT~! THERE'S MORE~!
While Regal is in the ring, Tajiri gets out of the ring and starts walking toward the back, when from the crowd and into the ring comes Rhyno! GORE TO REGAL! Out of the ring and running full tilt up the ramp, and he GORES TAJIRI ON THE STEEL RAMP!!
JR: "WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO THE MAN-BEAST?!"
Police officers start pouring out from behind the curtain and try to restrain Rhyno, and he keeps trying to get to Tajiri. Rhyno screams out "YOU DON'T WANT ME AS YOUR PARTNER ANY MORE?! THEN **** YOU! **** YOU! TAJIRI! **** YOU!" They finally get him to go to behind the curtain, but it's not from their force, he just finally turns and walks back.
(64%, 74%, 70%, *3/4) Regal's new Ice Man gimmick got a negative response >_<, but Rhyno gained 3 points by turning heel.
JR: "That was just crazy! Tajiri only teamed with Regal because Eugene was out! That has nothing to do with Rhyno!"
Eric: "Obviously Rhyno has finally lost it, we all knew it was coming."
JR: "I apologize for Rhyno's language there folks, we'll have ot keep you updated on this situation with Tajiri, Regal, and Rhyno. Look at that! Rhyno gave Regal the Gore, that man had severe intestinal problems just three years ago that may have ended his career! And now Rhyno may have pushed it over the edge!"
Eric: "Since when has Rhyno really cared for anyone else, Ross?"
JR: "I guess you're right, there. Right after we take a break, we're going to see the big match between Edge and Chris Jericho!"
Eric: "Wait wait wait! Before we go to break, I have an announcement for you."
Segment 7: He's Here....But Not Right Now.
Eric Bischoff now takes this time.
Eric: "JR, I know that you hate me. But I have huge news that you will love to hear."
JR: "I'm all ears, Eric."
Eric: "Maybe you'll start calling me MISTER BISCHOFF after this big announcement. You see, RAW and SmackDown! were in touch, and I made a few trades with the man in charge over there."
JR: "Yeah?"
Eric: "Yeah. And one of them will be here next week, to battle none other than the World Heavyweight Champion Batista in a match for the championship!"
JR: "A World Heavyweight Championship match next week here on RAW? Who do you have?"
Eric: "A man who will teach Batista a few lessons in the ways of business. None other than seven-foot-four inches and five hundred pounds of THE BIG SHOW!"
JR: "The Big Show is back on RAW? Mah Gawd! And against Batista next week?! How in God's name can Batista defeat the Big Show?!"
Eric: "He's going to have to find a way. That'll teach him for making matches on his own."
(71%) Bischoff and Show both lost 2 points. For being smarmy, I guess.
And NOW we take a commercial break, and we come back to see Edge walking down to the ring. Jericho makes his entrance right afterward, and the match is underway.
Segment 8: Briefcase vs Highlight Reel: Edge vs Chris Jericho
I had so much more thought of for this match, too. Edge and Jericho? Should have been a great match. But ah well, it wasn't. Can't win 'em all, I guess. Anyways, it's a time limit draw at 15:00. Yeah, I didn't give it a clear winner. Jericho extends a hand to Edge for a good match, but Edge nails him with some brass knuckles and walks away.
(77%, 91%, 75%, **1/2)
Segment 9: Masterpiece Theater it Ain't.
And now, for the most boring amount of television on either show thus far: A video for Chris Masters, showing him putting people in the Masterlock. Yay. And then he poses. It's set to his entrance music, by the way. But still insanely, hair-pullingly boring.
(46%)
Segment 10: Wooooooooo!
Now we get to a segment that I thought would be SO much better. Christian is in the ring waiting for the main event, but Chris Benoit is backstage, his music is playing over the arena as he is supposed to be going out to the ring for the main event, and he smirks before walking up to Ric Flair.
Flair: "BENWAH! What in the hell do YOU want?"
Benoit: "An answer."
Flair: "For what?"
Benoit: "For why you are where you are."
Flair: "What the hell do you mean? I'm at the top!"
Benoit: "We go back a long way, Ric, back to the Horsemen. I know when you're at the top, and right now, your mouth is fixated at the bottom of Triple H."
Flair: "WHAT?!"
Benoit: "You heard me. Now I want an answer."
Flair: "What do you want me to do? Go against the biggest name in wrestling today?"
Benoit: "No, Ric, I want you to be by the side of the best technical wrestler in the world today....just like you were back in 96, 98, and 99."
Flair: "Ah, that's what it is. FLAIR! And BENWAH! WOOOO! Back in time, baby, WOOOO! The Kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin', jet flyin', limosuene ridin', son of a gun, Woooo, and Chris! Benwah!"
Benoit: "Exactly."
Flair: "Well Chris, you know what? WOOOO! NO! Because you see, with Triple H, there is the chance of being still at the top of the cards! And with you, I'd be carrying your bags as you meander through nothing!"
Benoit: "That's how it's gonna be Ric? Fine. Then I guess I'll just have to prove....you....wrong."
(79%) Benoit loses 2 points, I guess for reminding everyone that Ric Flair is 3H's ass kisser.
Benoit finally makes it out through the curtain, and Christian attacks him as he's sliding into the ring!
Main Event: Chris Benoit vs Christian
YES! A GOOD MATCH! But alas, it ends in a disqualification, as Shawn Michaels ruins things by hitting Christian with Sweet Chin Music. Edge runs in and Spears Michaels, and E&C leave the ring quickly as the show fades off the air.
(78%, 81%, 93%, ****)
RAW Rating: 73%
Daivari says that Tajiri was working too stiffly.
Edge was overused. Funny, I thought people were already sick of him.
We got a 5.56 rating with 7,502 people in attendance for $300,080 from ticket sales.
-
WWE RAW
Male Wrestlers
Batista (World Heavyweight Champion)
The Big Show *
Charlie Haas *
"The Rabid Wolverine" Chris Benoit
"Y2J" Chris Jericho
"Masterpiece" Chris Masters
"Captain Charisma" Christian
Danny Basham *
Doug Basham *
Edge
"The Big Red Machine" Kane
"The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry
Marty Jannetty
"Sensei of Mattitude" Matt Hardy
Maven
Muhammed Hassan (Managed by: Khosrow Daivari)
"The Man Beast" Rhyno
"Superhero" Rosey
"The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels
Simon Dean
Steven Richards
Sylvain Grenier
"The Japanese Buzzsaw" Tajiri (1/2 World Tag Team Champion)
The Hurricane
"The Game" Triple H (Managed by: Ric Flair)
"The Problem Solver" Tyson Tomko
William Regal (1/2 World Tag Team Champion)
Male Managers and Non-Wrestlers
Christopher Nowinski
Eric Bischoff (RAW General Manager)
Jonathan "The Coach" Coachman
Khosrow Daivari
"The Hardcore Legend" Mick Foley
"The Extreme Genius" Paul Heyman *
"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair
Women
Christy Hemme
Dawn Marie *
Ivory
Lita
Molly Holly
Stacy Keibler
Trish Stratus (WWE Women's Champion)
Victoria
Television Shows
WWE RAW
WWE Sunday Night Heat
* Traded to RAW
-----------------------------------------------------------
So there I was. Backstage at Heat. Looking over the bunch of assorted papers lying across my desk. It was a bunch of ideas that were upcoming for major RAW storylines. I ended up crumpling and throwing most of them away.
"Heartbreakers? Who thought up this? Even more, who APPROVED this?!"
Oh yeah. Mister McMahon.
"Well we won't be having any of this. Not on my watch. Sime can have all the strange-ass booking he wants. I'll pass on most of it."
Finally, time for the RAW brand to get serious.....
-----------------------------------------
WWE Sunday Night Heat
Date: Sunday, April 3, 2005
Announcers: ??? and ???
Segment 1: New Faces Behind the Booth
Before we get into the opening video for Heat, we see a limosuene pull up outside the building. Then the Heat opening played, and pyro went off all over the arena. Cool. And the NEW Heat play-by-play announcer was standing in the ring: Joey Styles!
"I know what you all are thinking; Joey Styles in the WWE? OH MY GAAAAAAAAWD!"
A small but growing chant of "Jo-ey! Jo-ey!" started up, and he began to run down tonight's show.
BUT WAIT~! What is that music? "The Chase" has begun playing over the loudspeakers, and out walks....
"Stan Lane?!?"
Lane climbs into the ring and gets the microphone from Joey.
"Joey, it's said that you can't keep a damn good man down. Well, I'm a damn good-looking man, and that means that I must always rise to the top!"
"But Stan, what are you out here for?"
"Don't you understand Joey? I'm your new colleague!"
YAAAAAYYYY!!!
"Just stick with me, Styles, and I'll take you places. Now let's get this show going! I have women back at the hotel to get back to!"
The two make their way back to the commentary booth, and the music plays to signify the first match in the new regime of RAW brand.
(78%) Lane gains 2 points.
Segment 2: World Tag Team Championships: William Regal and Tajiri © vs Sylvain Grenier and Maven
And what better way to start off than with a Tag Team title match? I know, it's weird. But whatever. I'm weird too, so it's all right. Anyways, it's not a BAD match. Just not a good one either. Tajiri hits the Buzzsaw kicks on Grenier to get the win. The champions raise their arms high afterward.
(70%, 69%, 71%, *3/4) Regal is losing overness from his gimmick. I thought I changed it? Guess I forgot to. It'll change on RAW.
Segment 3: The Do WHAT Challenge Now?
We come back from commercial break to see.....STEVIE~! And he's in the ring! YEAH STEVIE!
"I have been out of action since February twenty-first. And you know who's fault it is? Chris Masters! He broke my orbital bone and injured my nose, and sent me home for over a month! You know how hard it is to not have the money to eat for over a month? I've been hungry! But that made me want to get back at him even more! So I went up to Eric, I'm allowed to call him Eric, and I said to Eric, 'Eric, I want another match with Chris Masters!' And Eric, the softie that he is, said that at Backlash I can have the match, but only if I win all the matches I'm given on the way to Backlash. So I said 'That's great Eric but there's one more thing'. See, Chris Masters has this Masterlock Challenge. Well that's not gonna fly with me! So I told Eric, I says 'Eric! I want you to commission the Stevie Kick Challenge!'
Stan: "Stevie Kick Challenge? Has he lost his mind?"
Joey: "You need to HAVE a mind before you can lose it."
Stevie: "I will take on four of the biggest guys in the locker room, guys who are a good substitute for Masters, and if they can't kick out of the Stevie Kick, then they lose! And if they do, then I don't get my match. But that won't happen, because NOBODY kicks out of the Stevie Kick! So watch carefully Masters, because I'm comin' for you on April 17th at Backlash! Come on out here substitute, and fail to kick out of the Stevie Kick!"
A generic song started playing then as Stevie got rid of the microphone, and Mark Henry came waddling out from the back.
(74%) SCORE! 3 points - Stevie!
Segment 4: The Stevie Kick Challenge - Steven Richards vs Mark Henry
So THIS is the first round of the Stevie Kick Challenge. Joey and Stan relate the rules again, and the two have a match that's good for Mark Henry standards. It ended with Henry going for a WORLD'S STRONGEST SLAM~!©, but Stevie slips away and blasts Henry with a surprise Stevie Kick to get the 3! Stevie slides across the ring and looks into the camera, and says "I'm coming Masters! I'm coming! You won't kick out of the Stevie Kick!"
(62%, 61%, 63%, 3/4*)
Segment 5: The Debut of....Who?
A video began playing before we went to commercial break, showing a lot of blood being poured over the screen. A spinning headset is shown, and when it stops spinning the screen reads "Coming soon, to an announcer's booth near you!"
(83%)
Segment 6: I'd Rather Have to Stand in a Supernova
When we come back from break, Simon Dean is in the ring with his setup, and a microphone.
"When I got here tonight, I heard that I am going to have to face Marty Jannetty. The Rocker. Now, you all can cheer Jannetty, but I have it on good authority, that being my own, that Jannetty is a fraud! He jumps around the ring like he can still do a match just like twenty years ago, but the truth is that he has gotten out-of-shape, and he cannot hold up in the ring with such a great specimen like myself. I mean really, he's like a hundred years old! Who dug up this fossil, and why do I have to bury him again?"
Stan: "If Marty were like myself, he'd still be well-preserved."
Joey: "Have either of you two seen the matches that Marty had last month? He's still in peak condition!"
Stan: "Yeah, just like I'm not having three dates tonight. Suuure, Joey."
Simon: But I have good news, Marty. I have brought with me a special case of my patented Simon System, and I will give it to you at the LOW LOW price, of only four installments of nineteen-ninty-nine. And then if you want, you can sell it to some of the other people at the old folk's home so you can have more pudding, though as a personal instructer I would not recommend doing it. So come on out Marty, and we'll see if you can make it to the ring without running out of breath."
(64%)
The fast-paced Rockers music starts playing, and Marty comes out from the back as Dean prepares himself in the ring.
Joey: "What disrespect by Dean. This guy used to be something special, but now that he's found this 'Simon System', all he is is just obnoxious."
Stan: "I've tried some of the Simon System Joey, and you should too. Maybe then you'll get past batting."
Segment 7: Marty Jannetty vs Simon Dean
This should have been SO much better of a match. Really. But I guess that it happens. Anyways, it ends up with Dean getting his "special case" of the Simon System and bashing Jannetty in the back of the head with it for the quick pin. Simon then slips out of the ring, holding his Simon System bag above his head and pointing to it as he yells at people in the front row.
(61%, 61%, 62%, 3/4*)
After a commercial break, we come back for our main event. Trish is just climbing into the ring, and Ivory is already there, so we pretty much already know what's going to happen here.
Main Event: WWE Women's Championship: Trish Stratus © vs Ivory
And whaddya know? It does. Trish uses a handfull of Ivory's tights to get the victory, and walks away laughing at her.
(70%, 80%, 48%, DUD) The Women's title gained image. Don't know how, but whatever, I'll take it.
Sunday Night Heat rating: 70%
Grenier and Maven work well as a team. I'll have to team them more often.
Stevie wants higher up the card. Can do. MIDCARD STEVIE~!
Benoit would like to work with Christian. Do I smell RAW main event?
SpikeTV didn't like how risky we were getting on Heat. What risk?
Heat had a 4.75 rating, with 7,544 people for $301,760 from ticket sales.
-----------------------------------------
So my first Heat was a little shaky, but it went down all right. I expected a bit more of some people (i.e. everyone except those in the Stevie/Henry match), but I ended up getting all the points across. So we move on, as my first RAW rolls in....
-
The Players:
"Beautiful Beejus" (Bigg Jonn / Steve Corino)
Prepared to show you how to book RAW to make money, but still have fun along the way.
"Sweet Sime" (MeanMugginMatt / Simon / Mr Muggy)
Ready to show you how to book SmackDown! to kill brain cells, and make you wonder why you still watch wrestling.
The Federation:
World Wrestling Entertainment
The Date:
April 1st, 2005
Everything is fair game.
Before we Begin Notes: There is no backstory whatsoever here. We've been doing this diary for a month or so over at Gamefaqs on the WWE Games Social Board, so if you think you may have seen this before, then if you go there, chances are you have. The only difference is that in a few shows (once we're finished moving things over) we can be all fancy and use colors here. Ooooo, pretty. We also do not write our shows out. So if you only read fully written matches (you uppity bastard) then stop right now.
Some of you are still there? Good. Now let's get started.
Alright, now we're about to post our rosters. If you look at our rosters, you'll see some changes to the personnel of each show. That's because we made some trades and some releases. Very few releases, though. Here are the people who were switched around.
Traded to SmackDown!
Shelton Benjamin
Snitsky
Randy Orton
Eugene Dinsmore
Robert Conway
Val Venis
Traded to RAW
Charlie Haas
Dawn Marie
Big Show
Danny Basham
Doug Basham
Paul Heyman
Fired
Joy Giovanni
Michelle McCool
Candice Michelle
Maria Knellis
Jerry Lawler
Hardcore Holly (Sime says: because he injured Carlito. YOU DON'T INJURE CARLITO! Can tell how much fun this will be already, can't you?)
Why did we do it that way? Who knows; maybe we just hate draft lotteries. It sounds good anyways, doesn't it?
Sweet Sime shall be here soon to post his roster and the first Velocity.
Rise of the Independents RETURNS!
in The Dome Retro Room
Posted
I didn't read this the last time around, but I will this time.
Block A action:
-Chris Hero vs. Colt Cabana
-Samoa Joe vs. Delirious
-Petey Williams vs. Tony Mamaluke
-Puma vs. Sonjay Dutt
Block B action:
-AJ Styles vs. Bryan Danielson
-Frankie Kazarian vs. Doug Williams
-Roderick Strong vs. Sexxxy Eddy
-Jack Evans vs. Danny Daniels