NWA: Wildside 2k3

[TheRaySays]

November 30, 2003

The National Wrestling Alliance presents…

Global Warfare

Global Warfare is held LIVE at The NWA Arena in Cornelia, Georgia.

1. Rainman w/Smokey Carmichaels & Jeff G. Bailey (-H-) vs. Caprice Coleman (-F-):

In what has become somewhat of an unfortunate tradition, the show opens with Smokey Carmichaels already in the ring, dressed in his black cargo pants and combat boots. He paces the ring with the house mic in hand. After receiving a cue from the cameraman, he brings the microphone to his lips.

“Ladies and gentlemen... I... Smokey Carmichaels... am PROUD to present... a ROLE MODEL for today's urban youth... a man on a mission accompanied by a man with a dream... white America's nightmare and a black man's best friend... Rainman and Jeff G. Bailey!”

A hip-hop beat begins to play, that of "Panic" by Dilated Peoples.

“The difference between a hero and a coward?

There is no difference.

One time or another everyone's felt fear.

It's what one person does that the other person doesn't do that makes him a hero.

But I'm about to step the fuck up...”

Jeff G. Bailey leads Rainman out, and the difference is striking. Bailey is all smiles in his ill-fitting suit while Rainman is scowling in his brightly colored caftan and matching fez. Rainman climbs up onto the apron and doffs his entrance attire, revealing his own pair of khaki cargo pants and combat boots. He climbs up to the top and pantomimes a sniper rifle, drawing a bead on a ringside fan and “taking a shot.” He shakes hands with Smokey, who haphazardly tosses the microphone to Dan "the Dragon" Wilson on his way out of the ring.

“His opponent hails from Fayetteville, North Carolina... weighing in at 197 pounds... the self-proclaimed show-stoppin', crowd-poppin', body-rockin', pulse-poundin', heartbreakin', handsome-faced superstar... Caprice... ICE... Cooooleman!”

It's all about the gospel as Deitrick Haddon and The Voices of Unity sing "Chain Breaker" over the P.A. Caprice Coleman shuffles down the aisle, shadowboxing in time with the music and generally warming up. He slaps hands with some fans in the front row, but stops to watch his back against Bailey and Smokey. The heels put their hands up and feign innocence, but Caprice smiles and nods knowingly. He's no sucka.

Caprice nimbly hops up onto the apron and slingshots himself into the ring. After a wary glance at his opponent, he climbs up onto the middle turnbuckles and scans the crowd. Referee Andrew Thomas is over, requesting that Coleman hop down.

He does so and shrugs his shoulders to ask “What's the problem?” Rainman points, demanding that the referee check Caprice's tights and kickpads for foreign objects. Oh, the ironing. Caprice obliges, and shakes his head at the harrassment. Rainman ups the ante by gesturing around his throat, indicating the pooka-shell necklace that Caprice always wears.

Caprice draws his head back in a shocked scoff. He shakes his head. No way is he giving up his trademark affectation. Rainman tries to take the noble route, putting his hands around his own throat to pantomime that Caprice could be accidentally choked, but Caprice simply blows it off and starts circling, eager to get this show on the road. Referee Andrew Thomas isn't willing to humor Rainman any further and calls for the opening bell.

Caprice pulls on the top rope and stretches his legs as he makes his way around the ring. They lock up and Rainman is the first to score a wristlock. He wrings the arm a bit and hits a condescending slap to the back of Coleman's head that infuriates the young high-flyer.

Coleman reverses the arm-wringer and stomps for emphasis as he continues cranking it up. Rainman slaps at his own shoulder, shifting position to ease the stress. A kick to the leg sweeps Coleman and knocks him down. Rainman keeps hold of the arm and starts laying hard boots into the shoulder until Caprice is able to regain his feet.

Rainman whips Caprice into the ropes and sprints to the opposite side. He comes off with a flying back elbow that knocks Coleman flat. Nice spin on that.

Rainman pulls Coleman up in a rear waistlock. He tucks his head under the arm and lifts into a back suplex position, but turns Coleman into a uranage, called The Dark City Suplex.

Before Rainman can hook a leg, Coleman rolls away and to the ropes, using them to get back to his feet. Rainman hits a European (African?) uppercut to push Coleman against the ropes, then whips him across. Caprice ducks under the telegraphed clothesline and hits the far ropes. Rainman turns and eats a spinning heel kick.

Caprice runs to the perpendicular ropes. He tumbles into a somersault senton, then rolls through to springboard into a quebrada for 1... 2... Rainman kicks out.

Caprice Coleman claps his hands, trying to fire up the lazy crowd. He pulls Rainman up by the neck and hefts him onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry. He throws Rainman up for The Thermal Shock, but Rainman drops out the back and hooks the arms for a backslide. Rainman lifts Caprice off his feet, but can't get him all the way over as Caprice kicks and struggles valiantly.

Rainman changes direction, turning into a double underhook. With Caprice at his mercy, he hits a barrage of knee smashes to the face, right, left, right, left, finishing with a big right knee that sends Caprice sprawling away onto hands and knees. Rainman backs into the ropes for a bounce and rushes forward to hit a shining wizard knee to the head. Rainman hooks a leg for 1... 2... Coleman kicks out.

Rainman pulls Coleman up by the arm and throws him into the ropes. Caprice bounces back and right into The Spine Splitta (Sky High)! Rainman holds the legs for 1... 2... 3-NO! Coleman throws his shoulder up just in time.

Bailey and Smokey slap the apron with frustration, arguing the count. Rainman pulls Coleman up and hits a few African uppercuts to keep him reeling. He then hits the ropes and bounces off for a spinning heel kick, but Caprice ducks under it and hits a step-up enzuigiri when Rainman turns to face him.

The kick knocks Rainman sprawling into the ropes. When he bounces back, Caprice Coleman is ready for him in a boxing stance. Caprice fires off a straight right hand... and another... and another... does some fancy footwork before completing The Thrilla in Cornelia with a snap kick to the side of the head.

Rainman drops to one knee near the ropes. Caprice bends down to pull him up and gets caught with a well-hidden thumb to the eye. Rainman takes advantage of the momentary blindness to mock Caprice's boxing background. He hits a few straight right hands of his own, then spins Caprice Coleman for The Dark City Bomb, an atomic drop into a side slam.

Rainman straddles his fallen foe and begins laying driving fists into the forehead. He takes a moment to grab hold of Caprice's necklace and rips it away from his throat, sending pooka shells flying everywhere. Rainman engages in a two-handed choke, shaking the breath out of Coleman, until Referee Andrew Thomas reaches the count of four and pulls him away. Rainman argues the call while Thomas is doubly distracted sweeping the remnants of the necklace off the canvas with his foot.

Jeff G. Bailey sends Smokey up to the top. He sets himself and leaps off for his Top Rope Leg Drop, promptly rolling out of the ring before the referee can turn and catch him in the act. Rainman takes advantage of the situation and dives into a cover, hooking one leg with his arm, the other with his own leg to get the tainted 1... 2... 3.

Rainman pulls his hand away from the referee rather than get it raised in victory. Instead, he rolls Coleman over and locks in The Hillside Strangler camel/cobra clutch combo. Smokey and Bailey climb into the ring to add injury to injury while the referee calls for the bell repeatedly.

Smokey hits a few boot scrapes until Jeff G. Bailey backs him off. Bailey reaches into his pocket and produces a can of shoe polish. He pops it open and begins slathering one of his loafers with the black waxy polish. He wipes his hand on Caprice's hair, then steps in to buff his shoe on Caprice's face, but referees and officials swarm the ring and drive the heels off. Jimmy Rave is close behind them and nearly gets his hands on Smokey Carmichaels before Bailey leads his boys to the safety of the back. Rave points out at them threateningly before checking on his one-time partner and friend. The officials are able to help Caprice up and Rave follows him to the locker room, vowing to avenge him.

WINNER: Rainman by pinfall after Smokey Carmichaels entered the ring undetected and hit The Top Rope Leg Drop.

Bland match, but I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad. (O:55. C:34. M:77. Caprice Coleman gained 3 points of overness from his pluck. Rainman gained 6 points of overness from being such a vicious heel.)

2. Kid Kool (-F-) vs. Sal del Rio =0= w/Desire (-H-) (For The NWA-W Junior Heavyweight Title):

Dan “the Dragon” Wilson gets back in the ring for introductions.

“The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL and is for the Wildside Junior Heavyweight Championship. Introducing FIRST...”

Silverchair's “Anthem for the Year 2000” plays loudly, supplying some angst to the normally cheery character of Kid Kool. Kid Kool bursts through the curtain at a hop and slaps some hands with fans before sliding into the ring.

“...the CHALLENGER... from Every Girl's Fantasy... weighing in at 180 pounds... Kiiiid Kool!”

He runs his hand through his already wet shaggy brown mane and takes to the middle turnbuckles, motioning around his waist where he hopes the Wildside Junior Heavyweight Title will soon reside.

“And his OPPONENT... the reigning and defending Wildside Junior Heavyweight Champion... led to the ring by Every Man's Desire... from Hollywood... SALifornia... 187 pounds... Sal... del Rrrrio!”

Desire struts through the curtain in her purple and white fitness model attire and strikes a bodybuilder pose, flexing her arms. She stands with her fists on her ample hips while Sal del Rio crawls through her legs and rolls into an HBK-esque pose.

He hops up and jogs in place while Desire unstraps the title belt and shoulders it. Sal unzips his purple velour jogging suit and steps out of it, kicking it aside carelessly. Desire rubs his shoulders as he stalls, demanding that Referee Andrew Thomas back his former tag team partner up.

Kid Kool reluctantly steps back from the ropes, allowing Sal to take his sweet goddamn time climbing in. After fiddling with his ponytail for a while, Sal indicates that he's finally ready to go. Before the referee can call for the bell, however, Sal holds up a hand and steps out through the ropes. He calls for Desire to come over and fix his bootlace. She starts to untie it, and Kid Kool has finally had enough of the hijinks. He blitzes his former friend with a barrage of clubbing forearms to the neck and shoulders.

The referee calls for the opening bell, and Sal tries to escape to the safety of the outside, but Kid Kool pulls him into the center of the ring for some more forearms. With his hand forced, Sal responds in kind, throwing some forearm shots of his own. Kid Kool finally scores a wrist and whips Sal to the ropes. A rana takes Sal down, and he immediately bails.

Desire tries to console him, but he's ready to take his title and go home, decision be damned. Before Referee Andrew Thomas can make the count out, Kid Kool shoves him aside and pulls back on the top rope. A slingshot plancha takes out both del Rio and Desire despite not entirely hitting either.

Kid Kool throws Sal back into the ring and climbs in after. Sal begs off for a bit, scuttling to a corner, but Kid Kool won't have it. He pulls Sal up, and the champ immediately lunges into a collar-and-elbow tie-up, managing to march Kool to the center of the ring. Sal takes the advantage with a side headlock, and is all smiles... cocky, obnoxious smiles...

Kid Kool takes hold of a wrist and pries himself free, reversing the hold into a top wristlock. Sal buckles, but only for a moment before showing some power of his own. Kool shifts to a front facelock, driving Sal down to the canvas. Sal tries to roll out of the hold, but Kid Kool rolls with him, causing Sal to slap the mat in frustration.

Sal eventually gets a knee under himself and starts to post up. He pushes out of the hold and goes behind for a hammerlock. Kid Kool twists into a fireman's carry takeover and drops into the lateral press for 1... 2... Sal kicks out strong, biding his time until the two to take a breather.

Kid Kool pulls Sal up by the arm and throws him back down with an arm drag. Kid Kool bars the arm, but can't keep Sal down long. He twists the arm, making Sal hop and skip in place until Sal rears back with a closed fist and pops Kid Kool right in the jaw to break the hold and earn a stern admonishment from Referee Andrew Thomas. Sal insists that his hand was open, but it's a blatant mistruth.

Kid Kool turns back, still holding his jaw, and stumbles right into a neckbreaker onto Sal's knee. Sal drops into a melodramatic cover for the 1... 2... Kid Kool shrugs him aside and kips up, almost losing his balance.

Sal still backs off, duly cowed. He slaps at his shoulders and then motions for another collar-and-elbow. They lock up, and Kid Kool comes out with the arm-wringer once again. Sal winds up and, despite the referee's warnings, fires off the closed fist counter, but Kid Kool sees it coming a mile away this time and ducks it. Kid Kool hooks the arm for a high hip toss, but Sal lands on his feet and counters with a stunner!

Kid Kool flies off, selling it like a gunshot, and lands spreadeagled on his back. Sal grabs a leg and rolls back, hooking it deep and counting along with the referee on the fingers of an outstretched hand. 1... 2... 3!

No! Kid Kool regains his composure just in time to throw a shoulder up. Sal pulls Kid Kool up and whips him into the ropes. He throws Kool on the rebound into a high back body drop, but Kid Kool sort of lands on his feet, dropping to one knee only briefly. Sal turns as Kid Kool lashes out with a kick, but he catches the boot. Sal ducks the enzuigiri and uses the ankle to throw Kid Kool in a dragon screw leg whip.

Sal cranks on the ankle... the bad, recently healed ankle... forcing howls of agony from his former tag team partner. Kid Kool eventually crawls his way to the ropes to force a break. Sal gives it to him, but only briefly, before whipping him across to the opposite corner. Kid Kool runs up the ropes, albeit with obvious difficulty, and perches at the top, facing the crowd.

Sal runs in, but stops short. Kid Kool was going for The Kool Krusher, his top rope Edge-O-Matic, but Sal manages to catch Kool on his shoulders. Before he can hit the electric chair drop, Kid Kool dives forward into a victory roll, putting Sal's shoulders down for 1... 2... Sal springs free.

Sal scrambles up and throws a clothesline, but Kid Kool ducks it and spins Sal around. He catches him around the waist and lifts, shifting into The Overnight Sensation cradle DDT! Sal del Rio got spiked!

Kid Kool rolls him over and covers for the 1... 2... 3.

No! Sal gets his foot on the ropes, and Desire is more than happy to point it out to Referee Andrew Thomas.

Kid Kool pulls Sal up by the arm and away from the ropes. An Irish whip sends Sal slamming chest-first into the turnbuckles. Kid Kool shakes some of the pain out of his bad ankle and sprints in, leapfrogging over Sal to perch uneasily on the top rope. He hops back for The Kool Krusher, hitting it this time!

They both roll backward and to unsteady feet. Kid Kool hits a high standing dropkick to the small of the back that sends Sal sprawling into the corner, where he slumps with his jaw on the middle buckle. Kid Kool gets a head of steam and delivers a boot scrape with the wrong foot to leave both men writhing on the canvas.

Kid Kool is the first to recover, and he calls for The Delayed Reaction, his inverted 450 splash! He climbs up top and has a hard time keeping his balance on the bad ankle. Finally, he leaps, but Sal draws his knees up and Kid Kool bounces off holding his ribs.

Sal kips up and grabs Kid Kool by the neck. He twists into a Rude Awakening neckbreaker, complete with gyrating hips, much to Desire's delight.

Sal pulls Kool up by the arm and pumphandles him into The Phoenix Fury Leg Drop (pumphandle Michinoku Driver II). Brutal. Sal holds him for 1... 2... 3.

No! Kid Kool throws his shoulder up, and both del Rio and Desire are aghast! Sal pumphandles him up again, but Kid Kool manages to drop out the back and shove him into the ropes. Sal stumbles backward and into a schoolboy roll-up for 1... 2... Desire reaches in and grabs Kid Kool's ankle, giving it a vicious twist.

Kid Kool hops up onto his good leg, abandoning the pinfall, and kicks awkwardly at Desire's hands. Referee Andrew Thomas asks what happened, but before he can get an answer, Sal del Rio clips Kid Kool's bad ankle, dropping him to all fours. Sal slingshots himself into a double stomp to the back, then hops into The Chalupa Crunch rocker dropper!

Sal wraps his legs around one arm of Kid Kool and holds the other, twisting into a crucifix that pulls Kid Kool away from the ropes and into a pin for 1... 2... 3.

Sal doesn't stick around for accolades. He seems to know he barely got the victory, and he rolls out to the floor to collect his beloved title and flee with Desire in tow. Kid Kool tries to pursue, but finds himself unable to put much weight on the bad ankle. Sadly, the crowd still hasn't really warmed up to Kid Kool's underdog role.

WINNER: Sal del Rio retains, thanks to some interference from Desire that set up The Chalupa Crunch and a pinfall.

It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *½ rating. (O:57. C:38. M:77. The NWA-W Junior Heavyweight title has gained 4 points of image. Sal del Rio lost a point of overness from his cowardice, but Kid Kool gained 3 for never giving up.)

3. Bad Attitude (-F-) vs. The West Texas Rednecks =0= =0= (-H-) (For The NWA-W Tag Team Titles):

“Heart breaker, soul shaker...

I've been told about you

Steamroller, midnight stroller...

What they've been saying must be true

Red hot mama, vel-vet charmer...

Time's come to pay your dues

Now you're messin' with a

A son of a bitch

Now you're messin' with a son of a bitch...”

Guns N'Roses' cover of Nazareth's "Hair of the Dog" blares over the sound system as David Young bursts through the curtain, fists held high. He stomps his way down to the ring, alone, and rolls in. He wears blue trunks, knee pads, boots, kick pads, and wrist tape. Dan “the Dragon” Wilson stands by ready for introductions.

“The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL and is for the Wildside Tag Team Championship... Introducing first, at a combined weight...”

David Young interrupts the announcements, covering the microphone and explaining something to Wilson.

“From Aaaatlanta, Georgia... weighing in at 238 pounds... The MESSIAH of the Spinebuster... and a THREE TIME Wildside Tag Team Champion... a three time NWA WORLD Tag Team Champion... and a TWO TIME Wildside Heavyweight Champion... David... Young!”

Nice regional pedigree there. Looks like the Bad Attitude reunion's on hold as Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places" begins to play. The West Texas Rednecks come out dressed to wrestle in black leather vests, black leather fingerless gloves, black trunks, and black-and-white cowboy boots, black cowboy hats perched on their heads. I sense a theme.

Barry carries his trusty "W" branding iron, letting it hit the ringside railing with a clang whenever the mood strikes him. They have their title belts shouldered, and take a long stroll around ringside, crudely spitting their chewing tobacco out near the timekeeper's table.

“His OPPONENT... at a combined weight of 550 pounds... from Sweetwater... the reigning and DEFENDING Wildside Tag Team Champions... Barry Windham... Kendall Windham... The... West... Texas... Rrrrednecks!”

The Windhams, both well over 6 foot, step in over the top rope and parade around the ring with the title belts held aloft. They reluctantly hand the straps and their extraneous gear over to Referee Chris Emerson. Barry is sure to give a quick lesson on the proper care and feeding of a Stetson cowboy hat, making sure it's not set brim side down, as that's cause for a hanging in Texas.

Given recent business, it's no surprise brother Barry wants to start things off with the Young upstart (pun intended). They lock up, and Barry uses his size advantage to muscle David into the wrong part of town. Emerson calls for a clean break, and they slowly separate, with Kendall holding his hands up in a neutral stance. Barry can't resist, however, and lunges for the cheap shot, but David Young is able to duck under and come up behind Barry.

David hits a flurry of right hands on Barry, and this gives Kendall the license to intervene, but he can't connect. David Young cuts him off with a high standing dropkick that knocks him off the apron. An Irish whip sends Barry slamming back-first into the turnbuckles. He staggers out and right into a scoop slam. Barry jumps up, only to get scooped and slammed again.

David Young runs to the ropes and hops into a quebrada, hooking the leg for 1... 2... Barry throws him aside.

David pulls Barry up by the arm and tries another Irish whip, but The West Texas Redneck uses his big stride to reverse, throwing David Young into the corner with authority. Barry builds up a head of steam and charges in for a big corner Lariat, but David wisely dodges out of the way, and Barry crashes into the turnbuckles instead.

Barry stumbles out of the corner and into The Spinebust-NO! Barry squares up his stance and reverses The Spinebuster into a belly-to-belly suplex. Barry comes up pointing at his head to indicate his genius, and little brother Kendall concurs, having returned to the champions' corner.

B-Dubbya grabs one of David Young's heels and turns into the figure-four leg lock. Once he's got it locked in, it's straight to the old school heel tactics as Kendall reaches in to grab Barry's arms for extra leverage while Referee Chris Emerson checks David Young's shoulders. When he turns back, it's all innocence and unicorns. There's nothing like grizzled veteran cheating.

Suddenly, Rick Michaels comes marching through the curtain in street clothes, trailing a cadre of paramedics and Wildside owner Bill Behrens. His left arm is held in a sling, and his face sports a fat lip and a big black eye. Michaels rips the sling away and tosses it haphazardly aside before climbing up onto the apron and reaching in for the tag.

Behrens and the paramedics try to reason with Michaels, but he's not listening. While he has his left arm tucked in close to his body, he's stretching his right hand out to offer his partner the tag out. The Windhams see this spectacle and gape in shock. They share a knowing look, then Barry starts demanding that the referee ask for the submission.

David Young shakes his head “No!” and posts up on his elbows to prevent the possibility of a pinfall. David begins rocking back and forth while reaching out for the tag, but he can't quite make contact. The Wildside CEO cries out in denial as Young rolls the figure four into its reversed position. On his belly, with Windham howling in pain, Young is able to crawl, elbow over elbow, towards the tag.

Finally, Young's fingers touch Michaels', and the hot tag is made. Rick Michaels climbs in and starts dropping elbows on the back of Barry's head, taking care not to hurt his arm. Kendall Windham blitzes in and runs right into a Rick superkick that sends him rolling back out to the floor.

David Young scoops Barry Windham up and holds him in a bear hug. Rick Michaels runs to the ropes and comes off with a jumping side kick. Rick covers for 1... 2... Barry kicks out.

Rick pulls Barry up by the arm and tries to whip him to the ropes, but Barry plants his boot and reverses. Rick ducks under the telegraphed Lariat and springboards off the opposite middle rope for a spinning heel kick. Barry stumbles backward and into the ropes as Rick comes up to one knee.

Windham staggers forward and into a facebuster, but before Rick Michaels can hit the hangman's neckbreaker to complete The Double Shot, Barry flattens him with a desperation Lariat. Barry landed with his arm draped across Rick's shoulders. Referee Chris Emerson slides in to count the 1... 2... David Young runs in to break up the pinfall with a dropkick to the side of Barry's head.

While Emerson guides David Young back out to the apron, Barry crawls over to his corner and makes the tag to Kendall. Kendall climbs in and makes a beeline for Rick Michaels' injured arm, laying cowboy boots into it like a Redneck possessed. He pulls Michaels up in a hammerlock, then adopts a rear waistlock. He lifts and folds Michaels up with a hammerlock back suplex, bridging for the 1... 2... 3.

No! Rick throws his good arm out, getting his shoulder up. David Young is revived and fired up in the corner, trying to rally Rick Michaels to a tag. Rick reaches, but is stopped short when Kendall grabs him in an inverted facelock. Kendall twists to stand back-to-back with Michaels, and drops him with a hangman's neckbreaker.

Barry Windham starts barking orders to his little brother, grabbing his own wrist to make a hoop of his arms and gesturing for a piledriver. Kendall pulls Rick up into a standing headscissors, then even wrenches the bad arm into a hammerlock. He hooks Rick around the waist and lifts, but Rick kicks his legs and won't allow himself to be taken all the way up. Rick gets his wounded arm free and pulls Kendall down with a double leg. Rick holds the cowboy boots apart and hits a double leg drop to the lower extremities.

As Kendall Windham curls up into a whining ball, clutching his manhood, Rick Michaels dives and makes the tag to David Young. David comes in a house afire and unloads right hands on Kendall, driving him into his own corner, blind tag, right hands for Barry, and David Young pulls the tall Texan into the ring with a snap mare.

Barry Windham is barely on his feet when David Young runs to the ropes. A Mafia kick blasts Barry across the jaw and sends him spinning into the ropes. David Young catches him on the rebound... SPINEBUSTER!

David Young hooks a leg deep for 1... 2... 3!! Bad Attitude are FOUR TIME Wildside Tag Team Champions!

Referee Chris Emerson returns to the ring to present David and Rick with the belts, but Rick is out after a different piece of hardware. He takes hold of the branding iron and holds it up high as he marches over to where Kendall Windham still lays sprawled on the concrete. David Young is out with the titles on his shoulders, wanting an explanation, but Rick simply motions for him to hold Kendall up.

David props Kendall up, the testicular trauma making it difficult for him to stand. Rick drives the branding iron into the shoulder, causing Kendall to crumple. David Young almost dumps him, but Rick wants the arm stretched out around the ring post. David reluctantly sets it up, and Rick winds up to hit one out of the park, cracking the branding iron against the arm of Kendall Windham.

He winds up yet again, now daring Barry Windham to come rescue his brother. In true heelish fashion, Barry rolls out of the ring and hightails it through the crowd, abandoning his own blood. Unsatisfied, Rick swings, but David Young lets Kendall fall to the concrete, and the third shot hits the steel ring post with a clang. David pats his old friend on the back and tries to get him to take a title belt.

Dan "the Dragon" Wilson stands by for the official announcement.

“The winners... and NEWWWW Wildside Tag Team--”

Rick Michaels leans in to interrupt, still brandishing the weapon. David Young sets a belt over Rick's shoulder.

“You tried to take me out, Kendall?! You tried to take out Rick Michaels? With THIS?! Well... payback's a bitch! Barry Windham! We're not finished with you yet! Bad Attitude is BACK, baby!”

WINNERS: Bad Attitude win the titles when David Young pins Barry Windham after The Spinebuster.

It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *½ rating. (O:57. C:42. M:73. The NWA-W Tag Team titles have gained 4 points of image. David Young lost a point of overness from slumming here, but Rick Michaels gained 3 in spite of his struggling Mentor gimmick.)

4. Future Shock (-H-) vs. John Phoenix & Slim J (-F-):

A dark remix of Herbie Hancock's "Rockit" begins to play, and Future Shock saunter out in their black and silver ring gear. They parade around ringside for a bit, trying to generate some heel heat, until Jay Freeze grabs the house mic from Dan "the Dragon" Wilson.

“Yo, yo, YO! B.P., gimme a phat beat...” Brandon P does as requested, dropping some beatbox on the unappreciative crowd.

“I'm Jay Freeze and my partner's Brandon P...

We're the best damn tag team you monkeys'll ever see...

We got all the skillz and we got all the luck...

If you don't like us... we don't give a...”

Suddenly, the house lights dim. A guitar begins to play a hypnotic whammy bar solo. The bass builds as spotlights sweep the entranceway. After about a minute, the guitar picks up speed, picks up distortion, and starts approaching thrash. Once the main riff hits, the lights focus on the curtain, and Cyco Miko's voice growls over the P.A.

“What the hell is goin' on around here...”

Suicidal Tendencies' "You Can't Bring Me Down" continues to play as John Phoenix and Slim J burst through the curtain. Phoenix wears fingerless gloves and a red and gold embroidered dragon-print club shirt unbuttoned over a simple black tee. He has baggy red pants and traditional two-tone black and white boots. Slim J sports his trademark blue crips bandanna, white wifebeater, drooping jeans, and white boots.

The newly turned faces slide into the ring and take to opposing turnbuckles, pointing out at the crowd and generally mugging like cocky sons-of-bitches. Once the music has faded out, Slim J motions for the house mic, but Dan "the Dragon" Wilson is helpless, and Jay Freeze doesn't look likely to give it up.

“You want THIS, Slim J? You want THIS, John Phoenix? Why don't you come out here and get it, punks?”

Slim J makes an “Oh no you didn't!” face, while John Phoenix slaps him on the chest and holds up a finger. It seems he'll take care of this. Phoenix paces around for a bit with his hands on his hips, then suddenly breaks into a sprint towards the side of the ring where Future Shock stands taunting. A double jump crossbody suicida takes out both members of Future Shock!

Slim J doffs his do-rag and slides out to join in the melee. Jay Freeze tosses chairs aside haphazardly to flee through the crowd. John Phoenix shrugs out of his button shirt and tosses it to the fans being held back by security. After a few stiff right hands, Slim J throws Brandon P into the ring and helps John Phoenix back in as well. Brandon tries using the ropes to pull himself up, but Phoenix is already on him, driving knees into his ribs.

Phoenix pulls Brandon P away from the ropes and sets up a side Russian legsweep, but Brandon P elbows out. John turns and walks right into a superkick to the teeth. Brandon P makes the tag to Jay Freeze, and the double team is in full effect.

They lift John Phoenix up for a high angle double back suplex that draws in Slim J, but Referee Chris Emerson cuts him off, prolonging the power play. Jay Freeze steps back out onto the apron and pulls back on the top rope while Brandon P runs to the far side. Freeze hits a slingshot somersault senton at the same time Brandon P hits the rolling thunder leg drop.

After this effective double team, Emerson is finally able to get both Slim J and Brandon P back in their respective corners. Jay Freeze picks John Phoenix up by the neck and turns to stand back-to-back. He lifts Phoenix into a Gory special to set up The Icebreaker, his Gory neckbreaker, but Phoenix manages to work his legs free and backflips into a DDT that makes Freeze go stiff as a board.

Phoenix runs to the ropes as Freeze struggles up to a crouch. A stiff Yakuza kick sends Freeze tumbling across the canvas. Before he can make the tag, Phoenix drops down and grounds him with a front facelock, really grinding it in.

Phoenix scuttles back, pulling Freeze away from the Future Shock corner, and offers out his boot for the old Suicidal Tendencies foot tag. Slim J reaches down and slaps the boot, and Referee Chris Emerson claps his hands to signal that he's going to consider it legal. Brandon P, predictably enough, cries foul.

Slim climbs up top while Phoenix lifts Freeze into a vertical suplex position. Slim grabs his crotch in the direction of Brandon P, then leaps off into a high crossbody while Phoenix drops Freeze in a suplex. Slim runs to the ropes as Freeze is struggling up. The Shinnywalk step-up bicycle kick blasts Freeze in his obnoxious mouth.

Slim pumphandles Jay onto his shoulder for Anger Management, but Jay drops out the back into an inverted facelock. Jay Freeze spins and spikes Slim J with an Exclamation Point. Brandon P reaches out for the tag, and Jay Freeze is all too happy to give it to him.

As Freeze steps out, Brandon trots down the apron and pulls back on the top rope. He slingshots himself into a springboard rana. He holds the double leg cradle for 1... 2... 2.99999! Slim J pops free.

Both men run to the ropes. Brandon P springboards off the middle for a dropkick on the oncoming Slim J. He hefts J onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry, but J quickly flips into a deep arm drag. Slim grabs a half nelson and holds Brandon P, turning him towards the face corner. John Phoenix leaps up onto the top and perches, setting himself. He leaps off for a flying knee, but Brandon P drops out of the half nelson and Phoenix accidentally blasts Slim J in the face.

Ever the opportunist, Brandon P bum rushes Phoenix out of the ring. He whips Slim J into the turnbuckles and hefts him onto his shoulders for the Free Fall fireman's carry DDT. Brandon braces his forearm across Slim J's jaw and hooks a baggy pants leg to get the 1... 2... 3.

Brandon P rolls out to join Jay Freeze, and they back up the ramp, laughing all the way. John Phoenix slides back in the ring and pulls Slim J up, demanding to know what the hell just happened. Slim gives John a bunch of static, until John Phoenix simply throws his gloved hands up in disgust and storms off.

Dan "the Dragon" Wilson climbs into the ring to announce the decision. “The winners of the match... Future Shoooock!”

Slim J takes the microphone and raps on it with his hand, a nuisance affectation since it clearly was just working. “Yo, I can't go out like that... Phoenix... This is how it is, dawg... We... They tried to break us down... We gonna turn it around... The bitches in the back... They... ah... ah, fuggit.” Slim J spikes the mic and climbs out of the ring. He heads directly through the curtain, clearly upset.

WINNERS: Future Shock, by pinfall (Brandon P over Slim J) after some miscommunication helped set up The Free Fall.

** rating for this one. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. (O:64. C:47. M:82. John Phoenix gained 3 points of overness from showing his Suicidal Tendencies roots.)

5. Smokey Carmichaels w/Jeff G. Bailey & Rainman (-H-) vs. Jimmy Rave =0= (-F-) in a Ladder Match (For The NWA-W Television Title/Nubian Heavyweight Title):

Two belts hang suspended over the ring. A silver and black aluminum ladder has been set up on the floor at each side of the ring. The one in front of the announce table is particularly impressive, being taller than the other three by a few feet. Dan "the Dragon" Wilson stands by for introductions.

A hip-hop beat begins to play, that of "Panic" by Dilated Peoples.

“The difference between a hero and a coward?

There is no difference.

One time or another everyone's felt fear.

It's what one person does that the other person doesn't do that makes him a hero.

But I'm about to step the fuck up...”

Jeff G. Bailey and Rainman lead Smokey Carmichaels out. He wears his black cargo pants and combat boots, sweat already soaking through his stark white t-shirt emblazoned with a map of Africa. He angrily kicks one of the ladders down, rolls into the ring, and, in what has become a Wildside tradition, takes the microphone from "The Dragon" to do his own introductions.

“Ladies and gentlemen... you are looking at the rightful... RIGHTEOUS... Nubian Heavyweight Champion... Smokey Carmichaels. Jimmy Rave... you ain't black enough... you ain't tough enough... you ain't MAN enough to take neither one o'dem titles hangin' above my head. We been goin' back and forth for too... too damn long, son. We finish this TONIGHT... and we finish it final. My belt... my waist... my fist... your face. Step up to get knocked down and smoked.”

Smokey slams the microphone in Dan Wilson's chest and begins warming up.

“His opponent hails from The Underground... weighing in at 210 pounds... The Original XTC... Jimmy Rrrrave!”

“I wanna take you on a rollercoasterrrr...”

Lunatic Calm's techno-trance classic "Leave You Far Behind" rings out over the arena. Jimmy Rave sprints through the curtain and slides directly into the ring, getting quite a bit of distance with those seemingly frictionless silver vinyl pants. Smokey Carmichaels immediately bails out to ringside and the company of his cohorts. Jimmy Rave rolls back out and climbs up a ladder to shrug out of his Jimmy Rave t-shirt and toss it into the crowd for a squealing ring rat pop.

After basking in the favorable response, Rave climbs up onto the apron and eventually to the top turnbuckles to point up at the two belts and gesture where one will soon sit around his waist if he can pick up the victory. Smokey slowly and carefully climbs back in the ring, and Rave hops down to march over and shove him into a corner.

Referee Chris Emerson forces a separation, then calls for the bell. Smokey makes a big show of wiping off where Rave touched him as the two circle. Rave begins clapping, actually managing to get the fans to clap along with him. The two tie up and Rave seems to get the early advantage, backing Smokey into a corner, but Smokey shoves Rave off to roll backwards and up to his feet in a ready stance.

Smokey comes out swinging, but Rave ducks and hooks the arm to pull Smokey into an STO backbreaker. Smokey bounces off, but Rave pulls him into a swinging leghook fireman's carry slam. Rave hits the ropes fast and comes off with The Doppler Effect, a running knee strike to the side of the head that sends the crouched Smokey sprawling through the ropes and to the floor.

Smokey gets up and immediately seeks shelter among his associates, who look none-too-happy at the prospect of eating one of those ubiquitous crowd dives high-flying faces love to pull off. Visibly displeased with his council, Smokey stomps over to a ladder and folds it up. He gets ready to slide it into the ring, but Jimmy Rave is already on the move. Jeff G. Bailey shouts a warning, but it only serves to distract Smokey, and a dropkick into the ladder from Rave sends it slamming into the side of Smokey's head.

Rave slides the rest of the way out of the ring and to the floor, backing Rainman and Bailey down with a feinted punch. Rave kicks the ladder into position on the concrete and pulls Smokey up alongside himself. A side Russian legsweep onto the ladder is mutual assured destruction to both men's backs. Predictably, however, Rave is the first up, with a hand held to the small of his back.

Jimmy makes a tentative effort at pulling the ladder out from under Smokey, then decides it'd be far easier to fetch the last small ladder left standing. He folds it up and slides it into the ring, then rolls in after it. Rave sets the ladder up beneath the two belts and, looking up, wiggles it into position.

As Rave starts to climb, Smokey slides back into the ring. Smokey runs towards the ladder to knock it over, but Jimmy Rave sees him coming and catches him in mid-charge with a missile dropkick. Jimmy tries to pull Smokey up to throw him out of the ring. Smokey doesn't budge, however, and backdrops Jimmy over the top to land on his feet on the apron.

Smokey hits a shoulder block through the ropes, but Jimmy hangs on to the top rope. Smokey grabs him around the head and drops down, hanging Rave throat-first across the top rope. While Rave teeters, he still manages to keep a hand on the rope to regain his balance. Frustrated, Smokey slingshots himself into a gamengiri, then leaps into a sunset flip powerbomb that slams Rave spine-first onto the ladder on the floor!

Smokey comes up full of piss and vinegar as the crowd chants “Holy shit! Holy shit!”

Jeff G. Bailey seems taken aback when Smokey barks orders at both he and Rainman. They eventually obey, throwing the apron up and fishing around under the ring. They slide out a table and, despite their heelishness, the crowd cheers. “Table! Table!” is the chant as Rainman and Bailey set the table up at ringside. Referee Chris Emerson is down to try to convince them otherwise, but this is, for all intents and purposes, a no-DQ environment.

Smokey rolls Rave onto the table and then sets up the ladder nearby. He climbs up to the top and takes a page out of Rainman's book, pantomiming a sniper rifle shot at the helpless Jimmy Rave. Smokey sets himself and leaps off... hitting the Liberia Jam leg drop and driving Rave THROUGH the table! Cue up another “Holy shit!” chant.

Smokey pulls Rave up in a front facelock, but amazingly enough, Rave seems to be getting his second wind. He gets his feet squared under himself and lifts Smokey off the ground. Rave stumbles around as Smokey kicks his legs until Rave crotches Smokey on the ringside railing and collapses. Smokey curls up and falls into the front row, where security holds the crowd at bay.

After a short breather, Jimmy Rave rolls into the ring. He starts to climb the ladder once more, but it's understandably slower going this time around. With some help from Rainman and Jeff G. Bailey, Smokey manages to climb back into the ring to run interference.

Jimmy Rave sees Smokey coming and leaps onto him for a spinning headscissors into a crossface, taking Smokey Carmichaels From Dusk Till Dawn! Jimmy Rave howls with effort as he cranks back on the hold, causing Smokey to scream and slap the canvas, but there'll be no tap-outs or submissions here.

Seeing the potential for serious damage here, Rainman and Bailey storm the ring to lay boots into Jimmy Rave. Rave releases the hold and stands up, backing Rainman off with a loud knife-edge chop. Bailey begs off, but earns a chop of his own regardless. Jimmy Rave delivers chops back-and-forth, until the separation between the two foes grows unreasonable. Bailey drops prone and rolls out of the ring, freeing Jimmy Rave to charge Rainman and hit a clothesline that knocks him out over the top rope.

Jimmy Rave turns to address his true opponent, but is surprised to find Smokey already on his feet and leaning on the ropes. Smokey pushes into them for a bounce and charges, but Rave sidesteps him and rams him face-first into the ladder, knocking it over.

Rave pulls Smokey up in a double chickenwing, and blood is starting to flow from a gash in his forehead. Jimmy Rave sets himself and throws Smokey Carmichaels in a tiger suplex. Rave folds up the ladder and drags it into the center of the ring. He snap mares Smokey onto it and marches to the corner.

Jimmy Rave slowly climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He turns to face the crowd and throws his hands out before leaping in a moonsault... but Smokey rolls out of the way, leaving Rave to crash and burn onto the ladder!

Smokey curiously slides outside to fetch another ladder. He slides it in and climbs in after it. Smokey sets the new ladder on top of Rave, sandwiching “The Original XTC” between the two. Smokey climbs up top and sets himself. He draws his thumb across his throat and leaps, hitting The Liberia Jam top rope leg drop onto the ladder, crushing Jimmy Rave, but at the cost of his own body.

After another respite in which Smokey works some feeling back into his legs and spine, he takes the two ladders and sets them in a corner. Smokey hooks Rave under the calves. Before he can fall backward and catapult Rave into the ladders, however, Rave sits up and drops him face-first into the mat with an x-factor.

Smokey comes up holding his nose and sporting a true crimson mask. Jimmy Rave whips Smokey to crash into the ladders. Smokey stumbles out of the corner and into an overhead release belly-to-belly suplex. Jimmy Rave drops to one knee, fatigue clearly taking its toll.

This affords Rainman and Jeff G. Bailey the opportunity to reach in and pull the ladders out of the ring. Jimmy Rave gets up, outraged, but doesn't take the obvious bait. Instead, he rolls to the floor on the opposite side and approaches the tall ladder. As Jimmy disengages the hinge locks, Rainman tries to ambush him with a chairshot from behind, but Jimmy ducks it, and it clangs off the ladder.

Jimmy Rave rips the chair from Rainman and clobbers him with it. He turns and throws the chair at Jeff G. Bailey, dropping him instantly. Despite a bit of awkward difficulty, Jimmy Rave folds up the tall ladder and slides it into the ring.

Rave climbs back in the ring and proceeds to set up the tall ladder under the two belts. He begins the long climb up the ladder, but the passage of time has given Smokey Carmichaels a chance to recover. Smokey double times it up the opposite side of the ladder. The crowd starts murmuring as the two meet at the top, just under the titles.

Smokey and Jimmy exchange right hands, but Smokey gets the upper hand with a thumb to the eye and a face slam into the ladder that staggers Rave. Blood trickling from his hairline, Jimmy Rave starts losing his balance, but is able to regain it by grabbing hold of Smokey's blood-soaked shirt.

Jimmy jumps forward into a front facelock and spikes Smokey Carmichaels with a tornado DDT off the tall ladder! Smokey rolls away holding his face, causing Referee Chris Emerson to give the "X" signal with his arms, indicating a possible injury. Jimmy Rave climbs up top and has a hand on each belt, but the crowd is distracted by the arrival of paramedics.

Jimmy Rave makes his choice and pulls down the Television Title, holding it up for all to see. He climbs down and goes to check on Smokey. Smokey holds his right eye socket with one hand and uses the other to shove Rave away, maintaining kayfabe. The medics help Smokey to the back with Rainman and Bailey in tow. Meanwhile, Jimmy Rave straps on the Television Title and drops to his knees, overcome with emotion. Eventually, he wipes the blood from his brow and heads to the back wearing his hard-won prize.

WINNER: Jimmy Rave takes possession of the Wildside Television Title after injuring Smokey Carmichaels with a sick tornado DDT off the top of the tall ladder.

I'll give it a **½ rating. (O:70. C:63. M:78. Both Jimmy Rave and Smokey Carmichaels gained 3 points of overness each from this feud ending. Looks like it dragged on too long, unfortunately. Smokey Carmichaels has sustained an eye injury as a result of that bad bump! The NWA-W Television title gained 4 points of image.)

6. Jeremy Lopez (-H-) vs. Onyx (-F-):

“I want it all... I want it all... I want it all... and I want it NOW...”

Jeremy Lopez struts out, his lip curled in a nasty sneer. He wears a red t-shirt with some black kanji script on it and black tights with red flame designs. “I Want It All” by Queen continues to play as Jer-Lo saunters around, dousing his long brown hair with water before tossing the empty plastic bottle over his shoulder and into the crowd. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Dan “the Dragon” Wilson stands ready for the introductions.

“Introducing FIRST… from Tampa, Florida… weighing in at 187 pounds… Jeremy Loooopez!”

Lopez walks up the ring steps and down the apron, pausing to give a vocal fan the finger before stepping through the ropes. He gets chest-to-chest with Dan “the Dragon” Wilson, trying to intimidate the announcer. Senior Referee Speedy Nelson gives Lopez a stern warning as he pulls him away and allows Wilson to continue the introductions.

“His opponent hails from Jamaica, Queens in The Big Apple... New York City... weighing in at 217 pounds... The Genetic Specimen... THIS... is... Onyyyyx!”

"Slam" by Onyx begins to play, and “The Genetic Specimen” jogs through the curtain and down the aisle. He takes the time to slap a few hands with the front row fans on his way to the ring. Onyx jogs up the ring steps and climbs through the ropes with a dramatic fluorish. He slaps his muscled chest and points threateningly at Lopez before shaking the ropes.

Onyx wants to lock up, and Jer-Lo tentatively agrees. The big black man has little difficulty taking the power advantage, and pushes Lopez directly into a corner. Speedy calls for the clean break, and it looks like we're going to get it until Jeremy uses the referee as a pick to switch positions with his opponent. Lopez doesn't hesitate to throw a right hand, but Onyx ducks under it and makes his way out of the corner, gesturing with his hands for Jer-Lo to “Bring it.”

Frustrated, Jeremy Lopez charges out of the corner for a clothesline, also easily ducked by Onyx, who hooks the arm for a high hip toss. Jeremy Lopez rolls through and to his feet, charging into an arm drag. Lopez rolls back to his feet again, seemingly ready to grapple, but not for a high standing dropkick.

Jeremy Lopez rolls out to the floor and slaps the apron in anger. Lopez paces around ringside until the referee gets up to a count of nine, then rolls in briefly and back out to restart the count. Onyx grows impatient, waiting with his hands on his hips while Lopez stalls. Eventually, Onyx climbs out to confront his opponent, but Lopez evades him and slides back into the ring. When Onyx goes to climb in as well, Jer-Lo cuts him off with kicks and stomps.

Annoyed at the cheap tactic, Onyx knocks Lopez away with a big right hand. Onyx runs to the perpendicular ropes and bounces off to knock Jeremy down with a shoulder block. Onyx turns and runs to another set of ropes to repeat the spot. On the third time around, Jeremy wisens up and leapfrogs over Onyx, but “The Genetic Specimen” puts on the brakes and waits for Jeremy to turn around. Jeremy does, a satisfied smile on his face, but the grin falters once Onyx pulls him into a side headlock.

Lopez stomps the mat as Onyx drags him around the ring. Finally, Jeremy gets his legs set under Onyx and lifts him into a back suplex to break the hold. Lopez scrambles up to his feet like he's won the Special Olympics. He pulls Onyx up by the arm and whips him into the corner.

While Onyx slumps against the buckles, Jeremy winds up and unloads a loud knife-edge chop. A series of them offer diminishing returns as Onyx begins to no-sell and get angry. Jeremy grows concerned, but can't escape when Onyx throws him into the corner and hits a few chops of his own. Unsatisfied with the results, Onyx lifts up the kanji t-shirt and hits a beefy slap to the pecs that makes Lopez crumple.

An Irish whip sends Lopez to the far corner with a thud. Onyx gets a head of steam and charges in for an avalanche, but Jeremy pulls Speedy into the line of fire to get crushed. Onyx looks on in shock as Speedy drops to the canvas, seemingly unconscious.

Jeremy seizes the opportunity and spins, uncorking The Roaring Elbow on the jaw of Onyx! Looks like said jaw is made of glass as Onyx drops like a big black rock. Lopez takes a cover and calls to Speedy Nelson, but the referee is still rolling on the mat in pain, paying no attention to the proceedings.

Lopez brusquely pulls the referee up and shakes him back to consciousness. With Speedy back in play, Lopez looks to finish things off. He pulls Onyx up and hooks both arms, crossing them and setting up The Elevated DDT. Even without the full use of his arms, Onyx still has enough power to backdrop out of the would-be finisher.

Jeremy struggles up as Onyx runs to the ropes. He springboards off the middle rope and turns in mid-air to level Lopez with a clothesline. Onyx hops up to his feet and quickly climbs up to the top. He motions for Lopez to “Get up! Get up!” When Lopez does, Onyx leaps off for a flying crossbody that gets 1... 2... Jer-Lo kicks out.

Onyx pulls Jeremy up in a front facelock. A snap suplex puts him square in the center of the ring with authority. Onyx climbs back up top and slaps his chest. He hunkers down and leaps into a big senton bomb that crushes Jeremy Lopez. Onyx leans back and hooks a leg for 1... 2... 2.9999! Lopez shot his shoulder up just in time.

Onyx pulls Jeremy up by the arm and tries to whip him into the ropes, but Jeremy reverses, sending Onyx for the ride instead. Jer-Lo catches Onyx on the rebound for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Jeremy then races to the perpendicular ropes for a bounce and hits a corkscrew elbow drop to the sternum. Lopez hooks a leg for 1... 2... 3-NO! Onyx throws Lopez aside.

Jeremy pulls Onyx up into a standing headscissors. He hooks the powerhouse around the waist and lifts, looking for a powerbomb, but Onyx dives over the top for a sunset flip. Jeremy rolls through and to his feet. He charges, but Onyx takes him down with a drop toe hold. Onyx leaps for an elbow drop, but Jeremy rolls out of the way and to his feet.

Both men are up as Jeremy charges and gets launched with an overhead release belly-to-belly suplex that sends him tumbling over the top rope and to the floor! Jeremy comes up in obvious pain and simply hops the rail, blowing off the match and his opponent with a wave of his hands. The crowd gives Jer-Lo hell as he makes his way through them to the exit.

Onyx stands confused in the ring holding the top rope. Once Referee Speedy Nelson counts Jer-Lo out, Onyx pulls his hand away rather than have it raised in victory. Despite his feelings, he walks back to the locker room the winner of the match.

WINNER: Onyx, by countout.

I'll give it a **½ rating. (O:71. C:60. M:82.)

7. Adam Windsor (-F-) vs. Lazarus (-H-):

"Pomp and Circumstance" begins to play as "The Royal Stud" Adam Windsor makes his way through the curtain. He takes a twirl in his long red-white-and-blue sequined ring robe and slaps hands with a few fans.

“Introducing FIRST... from Coventry, England... weighing fifteen and one-fourth stone... royally bred of royal blood... THIS is The Royal Stud... Adam Wiiiindsor!”

Adam gently removes his ring robe and passes it down to a ringside attendant before climbing through the ropes. He adjusts the straps on his royal blue singlet and tests the ropes a bit, stretching out his arms and back. Referee Speedy Nelson checks his black boots and knee pads for any international objects from across the pond, then, upon finding nothing disconcerting, nods his approval.

The house lights dim and spotlights roam the crowd until eventually focusing on the curtained entranceway. “All That Jazz” from Chicago begins to play, and that crowd isn't shy about vocalizing its displeasure.

Lazarus backs through the curtain wearing a tuxedo and tails, a top hat, and white gloves, a cane in hand. He turns mischievously and raps his cane off the ramp, catching it in a gloved fist. He also wears a black bow tie and white spats on his black wrestling boots. His face is heavily made up with white powder, rouge, and red lipstick.

Lazz takes his sweet time shedding all the superfluous elements of his attire, including his tear-away tuxedo. The ring attendant, having learned his lesson from last time, scampers off at the earliest opportunity to avoid being molested by the bizarre superstar. Lazz trots up the ring steps and wipes his feet on the apron before climbing into the ring.

“His OPPONENT hails from Kentwood, Louisiana... weighing 183 pounds... Laaaazarus!”

Lazarus steps forward and wants a handshake from Windsor before the match begins. Hopefully, Adam was paying attention two weeks ago when Kid Kool fell for this ruse and paid for it. No such luck. Adam takes the handshake... but he isn't as dumb as he looks. He whips Lazz into the ropes.

Lazz recovers quickly and comes off already looking for The Brittany Spear, but Windsor sidesteps and launches Lazarus out over the top rope. Lazz gets back to his feet on the outside, but Adam is already bouncing off the far ropes. A baseball slide dropkick sends Lazz careening into the ringside railing, where he flips, up and over into the laps of some front row fans. Lucky them.

Adam retrieves Lazarus and throws him back in the ring. Once both are back inside, Lazz tries to blitz Windsor with a clothesline. Adam ducks under it and waits for Lazarus to turn around... Superkick! Adam dives into the lateral press and hooks a leg for 1... 2... Lazarus gets his shoulder up.

Windsor pulls Lazz up by the neck and into a front facelock. He gets a grip on the tights and lifts for a vertical suplex, but Lazz hits a few right hands to the ribs to break it up. A knee lift keeps Windsor off balance. Lazz hits a step-up enzuigiri that drops Adam Windsor.

Lazarus climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He measures Windsor and waits for him to get back up. Once Adam does, Lazz leaps off for a flying neckbreaker. Lazarus hooks a leg for 1... 2... Adam gets his shoulder up.

Lazz runs to the ropes and springboards off the middle. He turns in mid-air and hits a rocker dropper on the crouching Adam Windsor, knocking him back flat. Lazarus straddles Adam's back in a kneeling posture and pulls Adam's arms back over his thighs into a camel clutch set-up. Instead of pulling back on the chin, however, he pushes the head forward and flips Adam onto his shoulders in a Gedo clutch. Lazz does mocking push-ups while Referee Speedy Nelson counts the 1... 2... 3.

No! Adam pops free of the pinning predicament just in time. Lazz pulls Adam up by the wrist and wrings the arm for a bit. Windsor tries to reverse a couple of times, but in each instance, Lazz pulls out a somersault and re-reverses. Eventually, Lazz hits a savate kick to the jaw of Windsor, still holding the arm.

With Adam down on the canvas, Lazz drags him into position near one of the corners. He climbs up top and sets himself facing the crowd. Lazz blows the fans a kiss, then leaps into a moonsault, but Adam gets his knees up, and Lazz rolls away holding in his guts.

Adam kips up for a mild cheer, wonder of wonders, and waits for Lazz to regain his feet as well. Once Lazz does, still doubled over in pain, Adam shuffles into another big Superkick that lays his opponent out. Adam takes a lateral press and hooks a leg for 1... 2... 3.

No! Lazz gets a shoulder up. Adam scoops Lazz up and onto his shoulder. He runs forward to crash into one set of turnbuckles, then turns around and runs headlong into the opposite set. Finally, he drives Lazz into the mat with a front powerslam, completing The West Midlands Stampede! Windsor holds Lazz down for 1... 2... 2.9999!

Lazz kicks out, but barely. Adam pulls him up by the arm and hooks a leg, taking him back to the mat in a side Russian legsweep. Adam rolls backward through the move and to his feet. He waits for Lazz to sit up, then hits a basement dropkick to the back of the head. Ouch.

Adam walks around the ring, trying to fire up the crowd. He takes up a position in the corner, measuring Lazz and “Warming up the band.” When Lazz gets up, Adam goes for a third Superkick, but the third time is NOT the charm as Lazz sees it coming and catches it. He spins Adam around and levels him with a desperation clothesline.

Both men lay still for a bit, but not long enough to invoke the double count of doom. Lazz IS the first to his feet, however, and he hits the ropes for a bounce. Lazz hops up for a big high knee drop to the forehead. Vicious.

Before Lazz can cover, Alicia Webb comes racing down the aisle in a magenta suede blazer with matching boots, a black crop top, and tight black jeans. She's got a bouquet of black roses in her hand, and an angry expression on her face. She climbs up on the apron and starts giving Lazarus an earful. We can't make out what she's saying, but it isn't good.

Lazarus seems taken aback. He abandons Adam Windsor and sashays over to talk with Alicia. He drops to one knee and holds out a dainty hand for her to take, his other hand over his presumably quivering heart. Rather than take his hand, Alicia rears back and just thrashes him with the roses for a cheap pop.

Meanwhile, Adam lurks behind Lazarus, measuring him. Lazz turns from his rejection, and right into a Superkick!

But no! Lazz ducked out of the way and Alicia got BLASTED in the face, knocking her clear off the apron! Adam Windsor is horrified. He leans over the ropes to check on her, oblivious to his opponent, who lurks behind him. The crowd's gasps of shock have turned into murmurs of dread. Confused, Adam turns... and gets sacked with The Brittany Spear! Lazz hooks a leg for 1... 2... 3, it's over!

Lazarus gets his hand raised in victory and plants a wet, excited, open-mouthed kiss on Speedy Nelson, much to the referee's surprise and horror. Lazz doesn't wait around for Windsor, however, and quickly retreats to the back with the victory. When Adam DOES recover, his first order of business is to check on Alicia Webb as she is being loaded onto a stretcher and carted to the back. Adam runs his fingers through his long blonde hair, fretting and guilty, and completely disregarding yet another tick in the loss column.

WINNER: Lazarus, by pinfall after Adam Windsor is distracted by Alicia Webb and eats The Brittany Spear.

**½ rating for a decent contest. (O:68. C:57. M:80. Lazarus gained a point of overness from being such a cad.)

8. Black Tigers (-H-) vs. Scottie Wrenn (-F-) (For The NWA-W Heavyweight Title):

"Battle Without Honor or Humanity" by Tomoyasu Hotei fills the arena. Black Tigers makes his way down to the ring, removing his black cape before climbing through the ropes. He folds it up and passes it to the ring attendant, bowing to show his appreciation. Black Tigers then turns to face the flags hung at the back of the arena, faces the "sun disc" of Japan, and bows to that as well.

“The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL and is for the NWA... Wildside... Heavyweight Title! Introducing FIRST... the CHALLENGER... from Osaka, Japan... weighing 187 pounds... Black... Tiiiigerssss!”

Black Tigers takes to a corner, standing on the middle turnbuckles and looking out over the unappreciative crowd.

“And his OPPONENT...”

The ticking of a clock grows in tempo as well as volume, until a loud chime rings out, quickly replaced by the thrash guitar intro of Anthrax's "Got the Time." The NWA Wildside Heavyweight Champion, "The Ticking Time Bomb" Scottie Wrenn, blasts through the curtain and slings the title belt into the ring, causing Black Tigers, Dan "the Dragon" Wilson, and Senior Referee Speedy Nelson to head for cover.

“This is the reigning and DEFENDING... NWA Wildside... Heavyweight Champion... from Charlotte, North Carolina... 275 pounds... The Ticking Time Bomb... Scottie Wrrrrenn!”

Scottie rips the blue bandanna off his shaven skull and balls it up, tossing it into the crowd. Referee Speedy Nelson holds up the title belt while Dan "the Dragon" Wilson retreats to the announce position. Black Tigers regards his foe with an inscrutable stare.

Scottie is about to clamber into the ring, but Black Tigers cuts him off with a baseball slide dropkick. Looks like those pinstripe tights he wears aren't just for show. Wrenn gets knocked down, but comes up quick enough, and angry enough to spit nails.

Black Tigers pulls back on the top rope, perhaps looking for a slingshot plancha, but Scottie hooks an ankle with a big mitt and jerks Tigers off his feet, dragging him out under the bottom rope. Scottie grabs Tigers by one of the straps of his singlet and waffles him with a stiff overhand chop.

Before the challenger can recover, Scottie scoops him up and presses him high overhead. The champ tosses Tigers through the ropes and back into the ring. He climbs up the steps and pursues his quarry.

Black Tigers surprisingly reverses a whip to the ropes. Scottie Wrenn springboards off the middle rope for a back elbow, but Black Tigers sidesteps it, and Referee Speedy Nelson takes his second big bump of the night, eating it flush.

Black Tigers spins, looking to uncork a Roaring Elbow, but the champ ducks under it and pulls Tigers into a rear waistlock. He lifts Tigers up and throws him into a smooth blue thunder powerbomb, held for... uh... wait! Here comes Referee Chris Emerson, sliding into the ring to count the 1... 2... Black Tigers kicks out!

Scottie grabs Black Tigers in a front facelock and gets a grip on his tights. Before he can lift Black Tigers, Tigers pulls him into an inside cradle for... Emerson is distracted by helping fellow official Speedy Nelson out to the waiting medical staff, but he turns to see the pinfall... 1... 2... Both men spring to their feet. Black Tigers hits a boot to the gut, then takes a wrist, wringing the arm. A side crescent kick rocks the big man, and a reverse neckbreaker drops him to the canvas, completing The Ichiban Sequence!

Black Tigers runs to the corner and jumps on the bottom turnbuckles, middle, top, then leaps off for a back elbow drop to the sternum of Scottie Wrenn. The lateral press gets 1... 2... Scottie Wrenn tosses Black Tigers aside.

Black Tigers pulls Scottie up by the wrist and whips him hard into the turnbuckles. Referee Chris Emerson is sure to give them plenty of space. Scottie staggers out of the corner as Black Tigers spins... Roaring Elbow! Scottie Wrenn drops like a rock, and Black Tigers is quick to cover for 1... 2... 3-NO! The champion kicks out just in time.

Tigers lays some boots into Wrenn, then pulls him up and into a double underhook, looking for the Elevated DDT. Scottie wrenches his arms free and gets himself set to backdrop out. Wrenn hits the ropes deep and comes off with a big Mafia kick that lays Black Tigers out spreadeagle. Scottie hooks a leg deep for 1... 2... 3-NO! Black Tigers gets a foot on the bottom rope.

Scottie agrily pulls Tigers up by the arm and fires him off to the ropes. He sets himself in a three-point stance and waits. Tigers gets caught and spun for The Psycho Slam... but no, he lands on his feet alongside Wrenn and pulls him into a desperation side Russian legsweep.

Both men lie on the mat for a bit, kicking the canvas and trying to muster up a second wind. The crowd goes ice cold as a big man steps over the ringside railing near the announce position. Jon Heidenreich, dressed in a New Orleans Saints jersey (division rivals to the local Atlanta Falcons) and blue jeans with his fists taped, takes the Wildside Heavyweight Title off the timekeeper's table. He climbs up the ring steps and onto the apron, but Referee Chris Emerson is there to take hold of the belt and eject him.

Heidenreich doesn't want to give up the title, however, and rips it away from the ref. He grabs Emerson by the lapels and muscles him out over the top rope and to the floor in a nasty spill. Emerson rolls around on the concrete, clearly unable to call for the bell any time soon.

Scottie Wrenn is up! Scottie Wrenn is back on his feet and enraged at the very sight of his former ally, let alone seeing him holding his OWN title belt. Heidenreich is pointing at the belt, then at Scottie, then jerks a thumb at his own chest, seemingly demanding a title shot, but there's already one in progress.

Scottie winds up a big right hand... but Heidenreich beats him to the punch and PASTES him across the face with the title! Scottie staggers backward... and into a schoolboy roll-up by Black Tigers! Referee Andrew Thomas, the LAST official available, slides into the ring! Scottie kicks his legs, but his shoulders are down for 1... 2... 3!

Andrew Thomas makes the signal, calling for the bell. Black Tigers gets his hand raised in victory, but Heidenreich is still holding on to the belt. Tigers points at Heidenreich, then jerks a thumb at himself, then points to the strap, and he may have just offered a title opportunity to the mad monster.

Heidenreich nods and tosses the belt to Tigers, who takes it eagerly and quickly, and wisely, bails amid a chorus of jeers. Scottie Wrenn isn't totally out of it, however, and stumbles up with blood running down his forehead in thin rivulets. Heidenreich retreats a step, surprised and taken aback.

Scottie Wrenn bellows with rage... and eats a big boot from Jon Heidenreich! Ouch. Scottie falls into the ropes and bounces off. Heidenreich wraps both big hands around Wrenn's throat... Chokebomb!

After peppering Wrenn's forehead with a few taped fists, Heidenreich rolls out from under Wrenn and back to his feet. He reaches down and pulls Wrenn up by the throat in another double-fisted grip. Another Chokebomb buries Scottie Wrenn.

Wrenn is bleeding heavily now, and sputtering in near unconsciousness. Referee Andrew Thomas calls for the bell repeatedly, but security is slow to arrive, and he's not about to intervene physically. Heidenreich pulls Wrenn up a third time, with more difficulty, as Wrenn is dead weight. He does manage it, however, and gets his hands around Wrenn's throat yet again. He pauses this time, looking down at security, who are shouting warnings at him.

The warnings go unheeded, however, as Heidenreich hits another Chokebomb. Security storms the ring with nightsticks and batter Heidenreich into submission. They manage to cuff him and drag him from the scene, but the big man cackles maniacally as they force him backstage. The paramedics are finally able to get into the ring to attend Scottie Wrenn, and, based on their expressions, it doesn't look good for the former champion.

WINNER: Black Tigers wins the Wildside Heavyweight Title by pinfall after Jon Heidenreich blasts Scottie Wrenn in the face with the title belt, and a fresh referee counts the fall.

Worth a ** rating, but no more than that. (O:61. C:47. M:76. The NWA-W Heavyweight title has gained 4 points of image.)

Overall Rating: 62 % (+4%)

Strongest Segment: Strangely enough, Jeremy Lopez walking out on Onyx. (71%)

Weakest Segment: The tag team cage match on free TV. (51%)

Attendance: 340 @ $20 each (+11)

December 1, 2003

Wildside Television Champion Jimmy Rave requests a push to Upper Midcard and thanks me for his great feud. Flattery gets you everywhere, especially to Upper Midcard.

E! TV isn’t interested in Wildside programming as yet. Ah well. I wasn’t ready to write a second show anyway.

“Superstar” Bill Dundee and Jess Bradley have retired. Abdullah the Butcher announces his upcoming retirement in WWC. Caveman Broda says “Ook-ook!” meaning he’ll retire next month. Tama will retire from WWA next month.

AAA and CZW have both gone bankrupt, putting some talent on the market. The Messiah’s tempting, but doesn’t really fit Wildside. Rene Dupree’s out there, but with Sylvian Grenier hurt, that’s a wasted opportunity. I’ll keep it in mind.

A new promotion pops up, Smokey Mountain Wrestling Rebirth. Sounds interestingly old school...

Rick Michaels turns 27 and picks up 2 points of Brawl and 3 points of Technical. Aging like a fine wine, I see. Scottie Wrenn turns 23 and loses a point of Brawl.

The Writing Staff recommends I push Rage up to Midcard. I agree and do so.

We actually made a profit this month, a little over $122K. We’ve got money to spend now on stuff. Whoo-hoo!

Smokey Carmichaels will be back from his eye injury in 2 months.

I pick up Donovan Morgan and release Kendall Windham, who immediately signs with MXPW, home of Gangrel, Cyrus the Virus (Don Callis), Ahmed Johnson, “The Beast” Bob Sapp, Chris Sabin, Duke “the Dumpster” Droese, Monty Brown, Shaggy 2 Dope, Team Canada (Bobby Rude, Eric Young, Petey Williams, & Coach Scott D’Amore), and Tracy Brooks. Sounds like TNA Canada Dry.

Wait. Ahmed Johnson vs. Bob Sapp vs. Monty Brown? That's $$$!

Feud Heat:

Caprice Coleman vs. Rainman: 26 +10! = 36

Adam Windsor vs. Lazarus: 65 +1 = 66

Onyx vs. Jeremy Lopez: 60 +3 = 63

Kid Kool vs. Sal del Rio: 32 +10! = 42

Feedback, criticism, ideas, and verbal attacks are all welcome and encouraged. Thanks for reading, and we’ll see ya soon!

Have fun,

TheRay

Edited January 17, 2007 by TheRaySays

[TheRaySays]

December 7, 2003

from nwa-wildside.com

Wildside Rankings

Official Wildside Rankings for the month of November, 2003

National Wrestling Alliance BOD Champions:

NWA World Champion: Jeff Jarrett

NWA World Tag Team Champions: Konnan and Killings (Konnan and Ron Killings)

NWA X Division Champion: Kid Kash

NWA World Jr. Heavyweight Champion: Rocky Reynolds

NWA North American Champion: Hotstuff Hernandez

NWA Wildside Heavyweight Champion: Black Tigers – 187 lbs. Osaka, Japan

1) “The Original XTC” Jimmy Rave – 210 lbs. The Underground (Wildside World TV Champion)

2) Sylvian Grenier – 240 lbs. Paris, France

3) Jeremy Lopez – 187 lbs. Tampa, FL

4) Lazarus – 183 lbs. Kentwood, LA

5) “The Ticking Time Bomb” Scottie Wrenn – 275 lbs. Charlotte, NC

6) “The Soul Assassin” Rainman – 221 lbs. Darkest Africa

7) Barry Windham – 275 lbs. Sweetwater, TX

8) “The Genetic Specimen” Onyx – 217 lbs. Jamaica City, Queens, NY

9) Smokey Carmichaels – 185 lbs. Harlem, NY

10) Jon Heidenreich – 300 lbs. New Orleans, LA

NWA Wildside Tag Team Champions: Bad Attitude (David Young and Rick Michaels) – Combined 443 lbs., Atlanta, GA

1) Smoke & Rain (Smokey Carmichaels and Rainman) – Combined 406 lbs., Harlem, NY and Darkest Africa

2) Jeremy V and Rick Michaels – Combined 395 lbs., Myrtle Beach, SC and Atlanta, GA

3) Cirque de Sade (Lazarus and Sylvian Grenier) – Combined 423 lbs., Kentwood, LA and Paris, France

4) Jimmy Rave and Onyx – Combined 427 lbs., The Underground and Jamaica City, Queens, NY

5) Kid Kool and John Hennigan – Combined 381 lbs., Every Girl's Fantasy and Los Angeles, CA

NWA Wildside Jr. Heavyweight Champion: Sal del Rio – 183 lbs. Every Girl’s Fantasy

1) “The Real” Slim J – 189 lbs. Detroit, MI

2) Jeremy V – 190 lbs. Myrtle Beach, SC

3) Scott Cage – 206 lbs. Ft. Lauderdale, FL

4) Azrael – 225 lbs. The Middle Of Nowhere

5) Jay Freeze – 215 lbs. Chapel Hill, NC

Rankings Analysis:

- Although there are no weight restrictions on contenders to the NWA Wildside Heavyweight Championship, a number of contenders would truly be classified as junior heavyweights and are at a considerable weight disadvantage.

- Title changes in 3 out of 4 of Wildside's championships have resulted in a number of rankings shake-ups.

- Scottie Wrenn has dropped all the way down to #5 on the basis of his losses to Jeremy Lopez and Black Tigers.

- Rainman dropped to #6 after losing his title (by any name) to Jimmy Rave.

- CEO Barry Windham moved up a spot to #7 with a controversial win over former two-time Wildside Heavyweight Champion David Young.

- Onyx moved up a spot to #8 with a countout win over Jeremy Lopez.

- Smokey Carmichaels dropped 4 spots from #5 to #9 after a pair of costly losses to Jimmy Rave, the latter of which caused a nasty eye injury.

- Jon Heidenreich dropped two spots from #8 to #10 due to a lack of in-ring activity. His despicable actions at Global Warfare are also likely to result in a suspension.

- Kendall Windham finally dropped off the singles charts because of his injury and departure from Wildside, despite the fact that he could now challenge the new champion. His absence also leaves The West Texas Rednecks off the tag team charts.

- Kid Kool and John Hennigan had an impressive showing on their first teaming, defeating Sal del Rio and Lazarus and knocking Future Shock out of the top 5 despite a trio of decisive wins from the latter.

- Despite defeating Jeremy V, Slim J switched places with him in the rankings thanks to a pair of costly losses to John Hennigan and Smokey Carmichaels.

[darkrayne]

God I love this diary Ray, you really have made this something I look for...

Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that it ISNT JerLO under the Black Tigers mask?

That would be quite the swerve, wouldnt it?

[HailtotheYo]

Wow, I'm stunned. Your writing ability is GRADE A quality. Freakin amazing.

That said, I can't believe, but see exactly why people haven't been leaving you the MUCH DESERVED feedback. They're intimidatd and for good reason. This thing is amazing. At first, I didn't know what to do with the awesomeness that I was reading over. It's harder for me to get into diaries that feature "indy" talent or guys that I just don't have a clue about. You've helped with that with the WTR !

The WTR is how I can summarize up to this point. I look forward to the "known" stars exploits, and thus in turn, want to see how the rest of the fed plays out. Effective writing is hooking the reader. Right now I'm bleeding from the lip thanks to a WTR hook.

[TheRaySays]

Thanks for the feedback, guys! Even if it seems a foregone conclusion who is under the Black Tigers mask, it isn't likely to remain such. "The best laid plans..." as they say.

Intimidated? By me? Despite being banned once, I like to think of myself as one of the more laid-back members of the Dome community.

I hope you both continue to check this out from time to time. I do appreciate it. Now, onward and upward...

December 14, 2003

The National Wrestling Alliance and America One present…

NWA Wildside TV #24

NWA Wildside TV is taped LIVE at The NWA Arena in Cornelia, Georgia.

“It's the holiday season, and traditionally a time for family... but tonight... Tonight, two families COLLIDE as David Young defends his father's good name against another second generation superstar, our very own CEO, Barry Windham. You'll see that match nowhere else but right here... tonight... because this... THIS is NWA Wiiiildside!”

Thank goodness for the new Motley Crue digital remasters, because "Wildside" by arguably the greatest hair band ever is our official theme.

1. Azrael w/Gabriel (-H-) vs. Caprice Coleman (-F-):

After the opening credits, we go straight to the ring, where The Lost Boyz already await Az's opponent. Steven Prazak talks right over Dan "the Dragon" Wilson's introduction, hyping up the big David Young/Barry Windham confrontation as well as the main event... Onyx vs. Black Tigers with a title shot and masking or unmasking (respectively) on the line.

“His OPPONENT... from Fayetteville, North Carolina... weighing in at 197 pounds... the self-proclaimed show-stoppin', crowd-poppin', body-rockin', pulse-poundin', heartbreakin', handsome-faced superstar... Caprice... ICE... Cooooleman!”

Praise Jay-sus! Deitrick Haddon and The Voices of Unity sing "Chain Breaker" as Caprice Coleman comes shuffling through the curtain, shadowboxing and displaying some fancy footwork. Noticeably absent is the pooka-shell necklace that Caprice customarily wears, a casualty of his run-in with Rainman at Global Warfare.

A clean-cut, athletic black man in the Shelton Benjamin mold, Caprice sprints down the ramp and slides into the ring. The Lost Boyz don't scatter. Instead, they move in to ambush, but things don't go exactly according to plan, I'd wager. Referee Andrew Thomas intercepts Gabriel as Azrael runs right into a spinning back kick that doubles him over. Gabriel reluctantly retreats to ringside while Coleman pulls Azrael's chin up and hits a wicked knife-edge chop across the upper chest.

Unsatisfied, Caprice rips the black Danzig goatskull shirt off of the Goth and rears back for another chop. The second leaves a big red welt on Azrael's chest and causes him to cringe against the ropes. A third chop keeps him there and sets up a whip across, but Azrael reverses.

The back body drop is all too transparent, and Caprice is able to roll over him and to his feet. He scores a rear waistlock and folds Az up with a back suplex. Both men scramble back to standing positions.

Azrael charges, but Caprice sidesteps and takes him down with a drop toe hold. Caprice drops a few rapid knees into the small of the back to keep Azrael grounded. After a bit of this, he buries a knee in the spine and adopts a rear chinlock as we go to our first break.

- - Mid-Match Commercials - -

When we return, Caprice is stepping over the seated Azrael's shoulders and straddling his neck. He locks his own legs into a figure four position and bends down to pull up on one of Az's legs before falling backward into the submission hold called The Hyper X, a figure four stump puller. Predictably, Azrael screams bloody murder, completely drowning out the snarling encouragement from his partner Gabriel.

Referee Andrew Thomas bends down to ask Azrael if he gives up, and receives a resounding howl of “Noooo!” Azrael does have one arm extended, however, and his hand wrapped in bands of black athletic tape is mere millimeters from the canvas. Instead of tapping, Azrael manages to get enough momentum to roll to the ropes. Without giving enough time for the referee to untangle them and enforce a clean break, the anguished Azrael rolls both men under the bottom rope and out to the concrete in a nasty tumble.

Gabriel comes over to lay a few stomps into Caprice Coleman until ordered away from the scene under penalty of disqualification by Referee Andrew Thomas. The illegal offense does give Azrael time to get himself together, however, and he uses the bottom rope to pull himself limping up onto the apron, breaking the prospective double count-out.

Azrael ducks down and starts to swing his leg into the ring, then pauses. Instead, he pulls back on the top rope and looks behind him to where Coleman is leaning against the ringside railing. Azrael slingshots himself into a springboard off the middle rope and hits a sweet spinning heel kick to the side of Coleman's head.

After some limping around, Azrael rolls Coleman into the ring. He climbs back in, for real this time, and pulls Caprice up by the wrist. A hard Irish whip sends Coleman back-first into the corner. Azrael put so much effort into that on his bad leg, he fell prone. Coleman, for his part, slumps down into a seated position after colliding hard with the turnbuckles.

Azrael gets up and starts building up steam in a wide arc. Despite his bad wheel, he manages a sprint and charges in for a vicious boot scrape across the face of Caprice Coleman. Azrael stands on Coleman's head for a bit, choking him against the bottom rope and using the top rope for added leverage until the referee reaches the count of four, making a DQ imminent.

Azrael gives the ref some snarling static, then pulls Coleman out in a brusque front facelock. A snap suplex centers Coleman, and Az floats over for a cocky lateral press that gets 1... 2... Caprice kicks out strong.

Angry at this result, Azrael pulls Caprice up and gets a grip on the waistband of his trunks, setting up another suplex, but Caprice drops out the back and hits his Cold Snap (Edge-O-Matic) on the way down. He reaches forward and hooks a leg for 1... 2... Azrael rolls over, getting his shoulder up.

Upon getting back up, Azrael tries a roundhouse kick, but it's easily caught by Caprice. Azrael tries the enzuigiri, but Caprice ducks under that and spins Azrael around. He tries a whip to the corner, but Az reverses. Caprice hops nimbly onto the middle ropes and perches there, waiting to hit The Cold Snap again on the incoming Azrael. Azrael ducks through the leapfrog, however, dodging the move and scoring an arm to throw Caprice with a rolling arm drag. Caprice rolls through and hops up to springboard off the middle rope for a leg lariat that catches Azrael flush! Whew.

Caprice hooks a leg and rolls across Azrael's chest to get the 1... 2... 3-NO! Azrael manages to kick out just in time.

Caprice calls loudly for The Comatoser. He gutwrenches Azrael up onto his shoulder in a Canadian back rack, but Azrael swings his legs around and hooks Coleman into a crucifix takedown. Coleman rolls through, however, and Azrael cannot maintain the pinning predicament. Azrael is able to manage a sweep of the legs and keeps Caprice reeling with a series of stiff Kawada kicks to the face.

Despite the rapid-fire offense, Caprice balls up his fists and starts getting riled. He comes up from one knee to his feet and catches one of Azrael's boots. Before the enzuigiri can follow, he spins Azrael around and adopts a boxing stance. A straight right jab tags Azrael... and another... and another... Caprice shuffles and showboats before finishing The Thrilla in Cornelia sequence not with the customary snap kick, but with a looping left hook that sends Azrael sprawling clear through the ropes and to the floor at Gabriel's feet.

Caprice Coleman looks down, perhaps gauging a dive, but Gabriel is in the way, checking on his partner. Referee Andrew Thomas presents an additional obstacle, starting the count out. Caprice Coleman paces the ring, eagerly awaiting the return of his opponent. Gabriel helps Azrael up to unsteady legs... but Az simply totters and falls limp at the count of ten. The referee calls for the bell and raises the hand of Caprice "Ice" Coleman.

The announce team remind us that Caprice is a former North Carolina Golden Gloves amateur boxing champion. Still, they're justifiably impressed. The live crowd, not so much. They're a bit confused on the finish, and it'd probably have been a good idea to announce Coleman as the winner by knockout or somesuch.

Gabriel looks enticed to run in and take vengeance, but the drooling partner at his feet says it might not be prudent. Gabriel listens to conventional wisdom and helps the unconscious Azrael to the back instead, vowing some sort of vague divine retribution.

WINNER: Caprice Coleman, by countout after knocking Azrael out "cold" with a wicked left hook.

This one gets * rating and likes it. (O:53. C:30. M:76. Azrael gained 3 points of much needed overness from the television exposure, even if it did result in his loss of consciousness.)

2. Momma Said “Knock You Out.”:

After being announced as the winner, Caprice Coleman takes the house mic from Dan "the Dragon" Wilson.

“Yo! Rainman?! You and ya boy wanna make a sucka outta me? Punk me out, make me ya chump?! Well, ya boy already got taken care of, but you wanna tango again, Rainman, my dance card looks ta be empty.”

Caprice runs his fingers across his collarbone, where his pooka shell necklace would normally lay. “You took something from me... something special... something that means a lot to me, so next time I see you, I'm gonna take something from you...” Caprice makes a fist with his left hand and turns away from the microphone to gaze at it in mock awe. He turns back to finish his statement. “...consciousness.”

Caprice tosses the mic back to "The Dragon" and pulls an over-the-ropes handstand exit from the ring as his music plays. He slaps some hands with cheering fans on his way to the back. It's definitely a step in the right direction for Caprice.

(Interview: 55. Caprice Coleman gained a point of overness from his righteous indignance.)

- - Commercials - -

3. David Young =0= (-F-) vs. Barry Windham (-H-):

Back from the break, Guns N'Roses' cover of "Hair of the Dog" is playing as David Young steps through the curtain and pauses on the ramp for a mild pop. Scowling, he looks left, he looks right, and apparently sensing no ambush, he stomps down to the ring with one of the Wildside Tag Team Titles slung over his shoulder.

David wears his usual ring attire of blue trunks, boots, kick pads, knee pads, and wrist tape, but with the addition of a big honking bandage taped across the top of his bald head. Barry Windham dug a spur into that melon last week and managed to squeeze out some juice. David leaves the belt on the timekeeper's table and climbs into the ring.

“Introducing FIRST... from Aaaatlanta, Georgia... weighing in at 238 poungs... one half... of the WILDSIDE Tag Team Chaaaampions... The Messiah of the Spinebuster... David... Youuuung!”

David takes to the middle turnbuckles to peer out over the crowd and at the ramp, where CEO Barry Windham appears on cue. He stands there for a bit, a five o'clock shadow of stubble adorning his cheeks and chin. Bon Jovi's "Wanted: Dead or Alive" continues to play while Barry runs his hands clad in fingerless black leather gloves through his thinning blonde hair.

“It's all the same...

Only the names will change.

Every day...

It seems we're wasting away...”

Barry eventually meanders down to the ring and up the steps. He takes a big step over the top rope and draws up next to Young, looking down his nose and accentuating every bit of his seven inch height advantage. To his credit, David doesn't back down, merely twisting his lip in an angry sneer.

“His OPPONENT... is the current CEO of NWA: Wildside... from the Mulligan Ranch... in Sweetwater, Texas... former NWA... World... Heavyweight Champion... Barry... Wiiiindham!”

After Dan "the Dragon" Wilson departs the ring, his introductions completed, Barry shrugs out of his black leather vest and tosses it haphazardly at the face of David Young. Insulted and incensed, David responds with a barrage of right hands that take the big veteran by surprise. The fisticuffs drive Windham into a corner, where he tries begging off to no avail.

David whips Barry across to collide with the far buckles. He charges in, only to eat a big raised cowboy boot to the jaw. David staggers out of the corner holding his mouth. Barry turns him around and hits a knee lift to the gut, doubling him over.

Barry Windham runs to the ropes, hitting them deep, and hits The Lariat-NO! David Young ducks under the legendary finisher, and Referee Andrew Thomas gets turned inside-out!

Barry spins on one boot heel and sort of hits a glancing tornado punch to David Young's temple, dropping him. The tall Texan measures a big, falling elbow drop to the chest and makes the lateral press, but Thomas is spreadeagled on the canvas. Barry counts for himself, getting 1... 2... 3-NO! David kicks out, and that enrages the CEO.

Windham gets up and stomps over to the ropes, signaling to the back for more officials. Both Chris Emerson and Senior Official Speedy Nelson take their sweet time responding, and they jaw jack with the boss a bit. Emerson and Nelson were both laid out at Global Warfare, and this marks their "official" return, so to speak, pun intended. The announce team reminds us that it was the now laid out Andrew Thomas who counted the controversial pinfall that led to the change in Wildside Heavyweight Champion.

While negotiations continue, we break for some...

- - Mid-Match Commercials - -

We're back and it looks like Emerson drew the shortest straw, because he'll be taking over officiating duties while Speedy supervises the medical team's removal of Andrew Thomas from the ring. All this folderol has given David Young plenty of time to recover, but to little good, since big Barry has apparently been stomping on his hamstring all during the break.

Barry “Whoo!”s for cheap heat, then turns into the leg, setting up a figure four leg lock, but David Young plants a boot in his ass, a can't-miss target, and sends him stumbling forward. David Young grabs him by what's left of his hair and takes a page out of his Bad Attitude partner's playbook and hits a facebuster knee smash. Rather than complete The Double Shot with a hangman's neckbreaker, David keeps hold of the hair and drags Windham into a run. He slams Windham's face into the mat with the big man's own trademark Bulldog!

David Young rolls Windham over and hooks a big leg for 1... 2... Barry throws his shoulder out, determined not to get pinned after one of his own finishers.

David pulls Barry up by the neck and pushes him against the ropes. He hits a knife-edge chop, then tries a whip across, but Barry plants his boot and reverses. Barry cocks his arm, waiting on the rebound... David ducks under The Lariat and skids to a halt. Both men turn, and Windham bumbles right into The Spinebuster!

David Young pumps his fist and dives into a lateral press for 1... 2... 3!

No! Referee Chris Emerson throws up two fingers with one hand and points at Windham's cowboy boot perched on the bottom rope with the other. Great ring awareness shown by the wily veteran.

David rolls Barry over with some stomps and pulls him up in a rear waistlock. He looks for a German suplex, but the bigger man elbows out with relative ease. David shuffles away holding his mouth again... and leaving himself wide open for The Running Bulldog!

Barry rolls David Young over and rips the dangling bandage from his head. He braces his forearm across the forehead, grinding it in a few times, hacksaw-style, on the lateral press. Referee Chris Emerson slides into position to count the quick 1... 2... 3.

No! Now it's David Young's turn to get a foot on the ropes. Barry Windham pounds the mat in frustration, then gets up and sets himself in the corner. He cocks his elbow and waits, stalking his prey. David Young slowly gets up... and eats The Lariat-NO! He sidesteps and takes Windham down with a drop toe hold!

Elbow drops to the back turn into forearm smashes to the shoulders and then a rear waistlock. David Young lifts and actually gets Windham over in a German suplex. David throws his hands out to celebrate, then marches to the corner. He climbs up top and sets himself facing the crowd. He thumps his own chest once and then leaps... The Moonsault misses as Windham rolls out of the way and out to the floor. David flops up after eating canvas, then lies still.

Barry Windham crawls over to the timekeeper's table. He fumbles around for a bit, struggling to get back to his feet, and comes up with the tag title belt. Despite stern warnings from both officials, he slides into the ring with it just as David Young is getting to a crouch.

Barry BLASTS Young in the back of the head with the belt, drawing blood for the second week in a row. He casts the weapon aside and lays boots into the bleeding dome of David Young. Referee Chris Emerson immediately calls for the bell and tugs at Barry's arm to break things up... Lariat! Emerson got leveled with a big West Texas Lariat!

The bell continues to ring, and Senior Referee Speedy Nelson is calling for security. The armed guards storm the ring with nightsticks in hand and corral the Texas outlaw. He loudly fires all of them, everyone within earshot, in fact, but nobody pays it any mind. He is taken away as paramedics arrive to help a battered and bloody David Young do the same.

WINNER: David Young, by disqualification after Barry Windham nailed him with the tag title belt.

I'll give it a *½ rating. (O:59. C:54. M:64. David Young gained a point of overness from carrying Windham to a halfway decent match.)

- - Commercials - -

4. Back on the Market:

We come back from commercials not to ringside, but backstage, where Sal del Rio stands alongside Every Man's Desire. They wear matching purple and white velour jumpsuits, Desire's unzipped to show off her... ahem, pectorals. Sal caresses the Wildside Junior Heavyweight Title belt around his waist.

Desire brushes her long brown hair away from her eyes and pouts at the camera, a microphone in hand. “I'm tired of having my personal business dragged out in front of everybody. WHO I spend time with... and HOW I spend that time is MY business. Kid Kool... Sal doesn't need me to do his job for him...”

Sal laughs, then stops abruptly and slaps the title belt with an angry expression on his face. “No! No, I don't! In fact... Sal del Rio has come to a realization... Sal del Rio didn't need you to succeed, Kool... You just held me back. And now... YOU... You say your time is YOUR business?”

Desire turns and looks exasperated. “That's what I said, Sal.”

“Well, last week... against your EX-boyfriend... you cost me the match.”

“What?!”

Sal takes the microphone from her. “That's right! Just like Kid Kool, you held me back. My mind was on you when it should have been on ME! Just like the spotlight was on you when it should have been on ME!”

Desire giggles. “Are you serious?!”

“Deadly... Kid Kool... If you want a rematch at Christmas Chaos, you've got to prove you deserve it. You're not even ranked! But WHOEVER it is they put in front of me in two weeks... I'm going to prove to them... and to YOU... and to the WHOLE WORLD that Sal del Rio... only NEEDS... Sal del Rio.” He turns to Desire and sticks a finger right into her cleavage. “Your ass ain't invited.”

“Fine! I didn't want to be there anyway!”

Sal hits her in the chest with the microphone and storms off.

Desire sighs breathily. “And I'm not doing your laundry anymore, neither!”

(Interview: 69. Even though she got... for all intents and purposes... dumped, Desire gained 2 points of overness from keeping fanboy hope alive by becoming available again.)

5. Onyx (-F-) vs. Black Tigers =0= w/Jeff G. Bailey & Rainman (-H-) in a Mask vs. UNmask Match (For The NWA-W Heavyweight Title):

We cut back to ringside, where Senior Referee Speedy Nelson is talking off mic with ring announcer Dan "the Dragon" Wilson. Wilson gets an astonished look on his face, then takes up the house mic.

“I have just been informed that the following contest is a Mask versus UNmask Match... for the Wildside Heavyweight Title!”

The crowd cheers this surprise treat.

“Introducing first, the CHALLENGER... from Jamaica, Queens, New York City... 217 pounds... He is THE... Genetic... Specimen... THIS... IS... Onyyyyx!”

"Slam" by the band of the same name starts to play, and the well-muscled favorite steps through the curtain and hops up and down in place. After a crowd-pleasing bit of dueling pec flexes, Onyx sprints down the aisle and runs up the ring steps, slapping some hands along the way. He throws one leg into the ring, then slowly follows, coming up to throw his arms out and spin.

The music changes styles big time as Tomoyasu Hotei's "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" begins to play. When the guitar crash hits, Black Tigers steps through the curtain wearing a long black hooded robe, his head bowed. Jeff G. Bailey trails behind, holding a briefcase aloft and an expression of smug confidence. Rainman walks by his side, shirtless, and wearing urban camo pants and black combat boots, a black bandanna around his head.

“The CHAMPION... hails from Osaka, Japan... weighing 187 pounds... introducing Black... Tiiiigerssss!”

All three heels slowly walk to the announce table while Onyx watches them warily from the ring. Bailey lays the briefcase down on the table. He takes a microphone and raps it against the case to make sure it's on. He then hands it to Rainman to hold while he dials in the case's combination, unlocks it, and opens it, out of sight of the camera.

“Look... I don't know what you're trying to pull here, Speedy, but I've got a contract... inside this here briefcase... signed by Black Tigers... signed by Onyx... signed by ME... and... most importantly... signed by CEO Barry Windham. It says this match is a NON-title match with a title shot... down the road... on the line.”

Speedy Nelson motions for the house mic from Dan "the Dragon" Wilson, who eagerly passes it to him.

“Bailey... I hope you've got the title belt in that briefcase... because I want it right now. I am the Senior Official... At Global Warfare... I got taken out of the match... Chris Emerson got taken out of the match... and Andrew Thomas did what he believed to be right, I suppose, but I'm not going to let it lie. I'm not going to reverse his decision, but I'll be DAMNED if I'm going to let Jeff G. Bailey dictate title shots.”

Bailey is incensed. “As official translator... and business manager... I speak FOR the Wildside Heavyweight Champion!”

“Not anymore you don't! Turn his microphone off!”

“You can't--!” Sure enough, Bailey finds himself muted.

“I just did. You don't call the shots around here, and given the CEO's actions earlier tonight... he might not either, not for much longer... You don't put your hands on the officials. I'm not going to let the inmates run the asylum anymore! Because of the actions of Jon Heidenreich... actions that have gotten him suspended INDEFINITELY... Scottie Wrenn couldn't be here to get his rematch, but you're not going to come into MY ring... into my COUNTRY...” This bit of patriotism draws a cheap pop. “...and mock the men and women who've DIED to protect our freedoms and your RIGHT to defend that title and earn a buck in this Land of the Free, Home of the Brave! Your stipulations stand as written, but the title IS on the line, and that's NON-negotiable.”

Bailey goes nuts, screaming into the dead mic, and he rips it out of Rainman's hand and throws it in frustration. Black Tigers throws back the hood and shrugs out of his ring robe.

“Oh... and if you or any of your goon squad NOT in this match lay a hand on me... or lay a hand on the challenger... I'll see to it that they're indefinitely suspended as well! Now, bring that belt up here so we can ring the bell and get this one underway.”

Black Tigers calms Bailey down with an outstretched hand and lifts the Wildside Heavyweight Title belt out of the briefcase. Shouldering it, he closes the case and latches it before climbing into the ring. The champion hands over the belt so Speedy can hold it up for a mild cheer, then pass it to a ring attendant for safe keeping. The opening bell rings and it's "go" time.

They lock up and Onyx quickly takes a side headlock. He cranks it up, using his thick biceps while Black Tigers slaps ineffectually at his back. Despite the power advantage, Tigers is able to slip free and reverse into a top wristlock. He tries bending Onyx back, but The Genetic Specimen isn't having any of that.

Black Tigers starts to buckle under, so he twists into the hold, towards Onyx, and breaks it with an elbow to the ribs. A wicked knife-edge chop threatens to deprive Onyx of a nipple. A second chop keeps him reeling. A third backs him against the ropes.

Black Tigers whips Onyx across and sets himself. Onyx rebounds as Black Tigers spins, looking for The Roaring Elbow to put this one to bed early, but Onyx ducks under it and jumps onto the middle rope. Black Tigers turns as Onyx springboards off with a dropkick.

Both men scramble up to their feet. Black Tigers charges, but Onyx sidesteps and runs him out over the top rope, where he lands atop Jeff G. Bailey and Rainman, toppling them like bowling pins in a 7-10 split.

Onyx climbs the turnbuckles while the heels help each other up. He sets himself, measuring them. Bailey screams “No!”, but Onyx ignores him and leaps, wiping all three out with a high cross body.

The announce team apologizes, but we've got to pay the bills, so it's time for our last break of the evening.

- - Mid-Match Commercials - -

We come back to find both men back in the ring. Onyx is using his size and power to wear the champ down with an old school bear hug. Black Tigers trembles and grimaces under the mask, but Onyx has his wrists locked in the small of Tigers' back. On the verge of succumbing, Black Tigers throws his arms out and claps them hard against the ears of Onyx. He repeats the strike, ringing the bald black man's bell and finally breaking the hold.

Onyx's hands instinctively go to his ears to regain his senses and balance. Black Tigers hits a boot to the gut, then takes a wrist and wrings one massive arm. He doesn't wait for Onyx to inevitably reverse it, however. Instead, he hits a Yakuza kick, then drops Onyx with a flash reverse neckbreaker to complete The Ichiban Sequence.

Black Tigers covers for 1... 2... Onyx throws him aside.

Black Tigers underhooks both big arms and lifts Onyx up for a tiger suplex, appropriately enough. He pulls out a sweet bridge to get the 1... 2... 3.

No! Onyx pops free!

Black Tigers climbs out onto the apron and pulls back on the top rope. He slingshots himself into a somersault leg drop, but Onyx rolls out of the way, and he cracks his tailbone on the mat. Onyx reaches down to pull him up by the neck, but Black Tigers rolls forward and to his feet.

Onyx turns as Tigers charges. Onyx catches him around the waist and spins him around for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Onyx keeps hold of him and lifts him for a second backbreaker before dumping him to the canvas and taking a flexing lateral press that gets 1... 2... 2.999999! Black Tigers kicks out.

Onyx pulls Black Tigers up by the wrist and jerks him into a short-arm clothesline, but Tigers ducks under it and takes a half nelson. Onyx twists out of it and into a back suplex. He lifts, going for a Blue Thunder powerbomb, but Black Tigers spins and dives forward into a victory roll... pulling the trunks to get the 1... 2... 3!

Senior Referee Speedy Nelson was out of position and didn't see the illegal leverage. Black Tigers doesn't wait around to get his hand raised. Instead, he quickly rolls out of the ring and heads directly to the timekeeper's table to retrieve his title, clutching it defensively.

WINNER: Black Tigers retains after pulling the tights on a tainted pinfall.

I'll give it a **½ rating. (O:70. C:58. M:83. The NWA-W Heavyweight title has gained 4 points of image.)

6. Onyx in tha Hood:

Jeff G. Bailey intercepts Dan "the Dragon" Wilson on his way to the ring and snatches the live house mic out of his hand.

“That's IT! Don't you dare turn this microphone off! Don't you g*bleep*am dare! You wanted a title shot? You got a title shot. Done. Now... onto OFFICIAL... CEO-sanctioned... business...”

Bailey hands the microphone to Rainman to hold again, unlocks the briefcase, and opens it. He reaches in with relish, and Rainman's expression suddenly changes from one of stoic obeidence to open dismay. Jeff G. Bailey comes up holding... a pointed white Ku Klux Klan hood.

“Onyx! You wanted to take the mask of Black Tigers off? Well, congratulations, Sport. You get to put this mask on!”

Rainman grabs Bailey by the tie with his free hand and pulls him in close. Bailey shakes with near-panic.

“Hold on, hold on. This isn't mine. I got it at the flea market... for just this occasion. I would never... I don't wear this. It's for HIM to wear... Irony, y'know?”

Rainman lets go of his manager, but only so he can scramble away as Onyx has rolled out of the ring and onto the scene. Bailey begs off, but Onyx rips the offensive attire out of his hands and seizes him by the lapels for a big cheer. Onyx looks over at Rainman, who holds his hands up, wanting no part of this confrontation. Black Tigers takes it even a step further, backing up the aisle with his title shouldered.

Onyx picks Bailey up and presses him overhead. Despite the lawyer's flailing, Onyx tosses him into the ring between the ropes. Bailey crawls and grovels, but Onyx has no sympathy. He pulls him into a front facelock... spins... and spikes him with The Blaq Out spinning DDT!

Rainman drags Bailey out of the ring and to safety, albeit with obvious reluctance. Onyx hops up and seems to consider pursuing, but thinks better of it, having made his point. He stomps over and shakes the top rope while pointing out at Black Tigers, who merely slaps his title smugly.

(Manager Gets Beaten Up As A Message: 57. Jeff G. Bailey gained a point of overness from his unmitigated gall.)

Overall Rating: 60 % (-5% )

TV Rating: 0.36 (-0.01)

Strongest Segment: Appropriately enough, the NWA-W Heavyweight Title Match. (70%)

Weakest Segment: Aaaand, appropriately enough, the opening match. (53%. Not bad considering Az’s lack of overness.)

Attendance: 156 @ $20 each (-3)

Feud Heat:

Barry Windham vs. David Young: 57+1=58

Caprice Coleman vs. Rainman: 36+10!=46

Onyx vs. Jeremy Lopez: 63+3=66

December 18, 2003

CMLL owner Francisco Lutteroth offers me a job, but I decline. I took five years of Spanish, but I still don’t feel comfortable trying to run lucha libre. I may be a Yankee, but I bleed old school Southern Wrasslin’.

December 20, 2003

XPW sign OVW's former Bolin Services Head of Security Mr. Black, former CZW owner John Zandig, and Rosey. Interesting…

Feedback, criticism, ideas, and verbal attacks are all welcome and encouraged. Thanks for reading, and we’ll see ya soon!

Have fun,

TheRay

Edited August 5, 2008 by TheRaySays

[darkrayne]

Oh u have got to be kidding me?

A KKK hood? Does Bailey have a death wish?

Onyx is gonna F'n kill him... but wear the hood as a man of his word... damn!

You have done it again Ray... I'm still hooked, and kudos to Senior Referee Speedy for standing up to Bailey!!!

[Draevyn]

Finally had a chance to get back to this again, and you're still doing a hell of a job. This is the kind of work I love to read. Something that steps back from the usual WWE(F) and WCW world, and takes a look at the indies, while sticking with the feel of that promotion and not simply bringing in the big guns first thing.

You've got some nice things going here, with Caprice and Rainman, and it's quite old school for it to be over the necklace kind of thing, and the ass-whippin' too of course. I've never seen any of these men, but again, your description allows me to get the feel of the whole match.

What a way for Bailey to get some cheap heat. KKK masks? That's something I would have never thought of, but works so damn well. Also could end up having Rainman turn on him though, but we'll see. I still love this diary man.

[TheRaySays]

I continue to be graced with fine feedback. Thank you all. A common point of praise is how I bring to life characters who are otherwise unknown to my readers, but I'll take this opportunity, nonetheless, to point out a few interesting tidbits:

Alicia Webb = Ryan Shamrock aka WCW's Symphony

Brandon P = Brandon Phoenix, active in NWA: Anarchy, the promotion that replaced NWA: Wildside

David Young jobs regularly in TNA as part of Simon Diamond's “Diamonds in the Rough”

Gabriel of The Lost Boyz = Chad Parham in NWA: Anarchy

Iceberg = Edward Chastain, who had a very brief monster heel run under that name in TNA

Jeremy V = Jeremy Vain in NWA: Anarchy

John Hennigan = Johnny Nitro of MNM

Jon Heidenreich is, of course, Heidenreich of the 2005 Legion of Doom

Kid Kool = Seth Delay, who has appeared in Ring of Honor and elsewhere on the indy circuit

Onyx is a regular in Deep South Wrestling, and may eventually make his way to WWE television

Rainman = Kory Chavis in NWA: Anarchy

Sal del Rio aka Kid Xtacy = Salvatore Rinauro in Ring of Honor and elsewhere on the indy circuit

Sylvian Grenier is, of course, Smackdown's Ambassador-At-Large, Sylvan, formerly of La Resistance

At least some of those should be familiar to most. I'm glad it's working though, as I'm loathe to gut the traditional Wildside roster and load up on recognizable faces. Still, even in the fictional world of the diary, it's a practical concern to keep a handful of known entities (Over) like The West Texas Rednecks near the top of the card while building up the homegrown talents. I've got a few hard decisions to make in the coming (in-game) months, and I might have to do some roster shuffling to accomodate the deaths of surrounding promotions as well as absences due to injury.

Now, enough OOC stuff... On with the show!

December 21, 2003

Harley Race’s WLW sign The Messiah and Mr. Gannosuke. I smell exploding barbed wire light tube deathmatches… This is a promotion with “The Godfather” Charles Wright and Chupacabra at the top of the card.

The National Wrestling Alliance and America One present…

NWA Wildside TV #25

NWA Wildside TV is taped LIVE at The NWA Arena in Cornelia, Georgia.

”We are just one week away from Christmas Chaos, but TONIGHT... tonight, we've got a match for # 1 Contendership to the Wildside Junior Heavyweight Title... and our Senior Official... Speedy Nelson... has laid down the law.

“In our main event this evening... Onyx and the Wildside Television Champion, Jimmy Rave, will team up once again... against the tandem of Wildside Heavyweight Champion Black Tigers... AND... Jeremy Lopez! And if either Tigers OR Lopez no-show the match... they will BOTH be suspended indefinitely and the title vacated! This is like an early visit from Santa, and THIS... THIS is NWA Wiiiildside!”

Thank goodness for the new Motley Crue digital remasters, because “Wildside” by arguably the greatest hair band ever is our official theme.

1. The Only Prescription is... More Cowbell:

We open cold this week, with CEO Barry Windham in his office, his cowboy boots up on his desk as per usual of late. It's clearly been a time for celebration, as empty brown bottles litter the desktop. Windham wears a heavy bullrope around his neck with a cowbell at the end held in one sweaty mitt. He looks down at it longingly, with a hint of near madness.

“David Young... I've come so close to finishing you... to writing the last chapter in the book of your career, but I keep getting interrupted. Look... at this point in my career... I don't give a flyin' fritter about wins and losses, or even titles. I've done it all, so actually... actually, this ISN'T about business, it's personal.

“At first, it was just a job, I'll admit. Come in and get rid of yer buddy Rick Michaels. After I took his ass out, I stuck around... y'know, just for shiggles. I figured it'd be fun to be the boss for a change, call the shots, clean this place up a bit.

“Then Ricky decides he wants to come back and be the big hero again, only this time he's got you ridin' shotgun. Well, son, I gotta give you credit. I took Ricky-boy out for a second time... but I ended up sacrificin' my own little brother. You sent him home with a broken arm... embarrassed me and my family.

“I can't let that stand. Every week that I look over the stupid format sheets they give me, I want to spit nails when I see your name. There just seems to be something you can't wrap your brain around... I'm always going to be out of your league. I don't care about getting disqualified. There ain't a fine they can throw at me that I can't pay out of pocket. Hell, I don't even care if the referees want to book matches and set stipulations. They wanna run the show, I don't care, because at the end of the day... I'm still the bull of these woods.

“The refs wanna talk tough? Fine. Knock yourselves out. I ain't got no interest in taking some scrawny zebra's head off again. Hell, at Christmas Chaos, I won't need a damn ref. We're going to step in that ring, David Young, and we're going to tie ourselves to this here bullrope... one at each end... and I'm gonna take this here cowbell, and I'm gonna play a symphony on your skull, and let me tell ya... This here cowbell will dent your head quicker'n your head'll dent the cowbell, I guarantee it.

“The best part is nobody's going to stop me... not the referees... not security... not Rick Michaels... and certainly not you. And once I've split your skull making beautiful music... I'm gonna drag your bleeding and unconscious carcass to all four corners of that ring like a twenty point buck.

“I don't know what I'd take as a trophy, since antlers ain't an option. I ain't the kind to go for scalps, so that's out. Maybe teeth, I guess. Now, normally I'd say yer best course'a action would be to just stay away, but now that I've had a taste'a yer blood... I think I'd get a kick outta huntin' you down. Nah, I don't rightly see a whole lotta options for you, son. Next week... You might wanna try playin' dead.”

(Interview: 63.)

We cut to ringside, where the announce team are justifiably concerned for David Young's well-being. Windham's an old-timer, sure, but he's like a rabid animal and mad with power. He's using his authority to choose stipulations that clearly favor him by keeping David Young's X-Division histrionics in check. Up next, it'll be time to see who challenges Sal del Rio for the Wildside Junior Heavyweight Title, but first, it's time for...

- - Commercials - -

2. Kid Kool (-F-) vs. Jay Freeze w/Brandon P (-H-) for # 1 Contendership to the Wildside Junior Heavyweight Title:

When we come back, Kid Kool is already in the ring in his baby blue trunks and boots. He pulls back on his bad ankle, stretching, while waiting for Dan “the Dragon” Wilson to make the introductions. Silverchair's “Anthem for the Year 2000” slowly fades out.

”Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL and will determine the number one contender to the Wildside... Junior... Heavyweight Title! Introducing FIRST... in the ring at my right... from Every Girl's Fantasy... weighing in at 180 pounds... Kiiiid Kool!”

Kid throws his hands up and points at the ceiling to no response. Shucks. He's got a lot of ground to make up thanks to that untimely injury he suffered. A grim remix of Herbie Hancock's seminal “Rockit” begins to play, and Future Shock swagger down the aisle. Jay Freeze leads the way, telling the fans to “Watch and learn, losers.” Both wear matching black and silver ring gear.

”His opponent hails from Chapel Hill, North Carolina... accompanied to the ring by Brandon P... one half of Future Shock... 215 pounds... Jay Freeeeeze!”

Jay slingshots himself into the ring and walks right up to get in Kid Kool's face. Kool doesn't back down, and the two jaw-jack for a bit until Referee Andrew Thomas is forced to step between them. Thomas wears a neckbrace thanks to an accidental Lariat from the CEO last week. Not to be confused with the INTENTIONAL Lariat that Referee Chris Emerson took.

Jay fidgets with his wristband and glove, then hauls off and slaps Kid Kool across the face. His laughter is short-lived as Kid Kool responds with a high standing dropkick. Before Jay Freeze can slide out to the floor, we get our opening bell and Kid grabs him by the wrist. He pulls him up and into a wristlock, bending the hand of Jay Freeze against his chest.

Freeze shuffles around a bit, in pain, then reverses the hold into a fireman's carry. Kid Kool sits up, only to get a short stiff dropkick to the back of the head. Ouch.

Undaunted, Kid Kool rolls to his feet and hits the ropes at a sprint. He comes off with a shoulder block that knocks Freeze down. Kool hits the perpendicular ropes, but Jay rolls onto his stomach, so Kool hurdles him to bounce off the opposite side. Jay Freeze leapfrogs over him and runs to the ropes himself while Kid Kool skids to a halt.

Kid Kool prepares to leapfrog Freeze, but Freeze stops short to catch him on his shoulders. Freeze then resumes his charge and throws Kid Kool in a sick release powerbomb to the outside, landing him halfway up the ramp. Ouch.

Jay Freeze takes a moment to show Referee Andrew Thomas that something's suddenly wrong with his glove. Thomas does his best to comprehend, but with his neck fixed in position, Freeze is obnoxiously running him around in circles. This gives Brandon P ample time to pull Kid Kool up and drag him over to the ring steps.

Brandon P hauls back and rams Kid Kool's head into the steel steps... except Kid gets his hands up to block. An elbow to the gut doubles Brandon over. Kid Kool then hits a no-look mule kick right between the legs. A drop toe hold sends Brandon P slamming face-first into the ring steps. He immediately crumples while Kid Kool uses those same steps to get up onto the apron.

Jay Freeze, angry at seeing the ruse backfire, stomps over. Kid Kool pulls back on the middle rope for balance and hits a shoulder block to the ribs. He slingshots himself up onto the top rope, twisting to face the crowd. Kid Kool leaps backward, grabbing Jay Freeze for The Kool Crusher (Edge-O-Matic)!

Kid Kool reaches forward to hook a leg for 1... 2... Jay Freeze twists, getting his shoulder up.

Jay rolls towards a corner, getting to a crouch. Kid Kool pulls him the rest of the way up and hits a forearm to the face. A loud knife-edge chop leaves Freeze slumped against the buckles. Kid Kool backs up and charges in to hit a stinger splash.

An Irish whip sends Jay Freeze to the opposite corner, but he recovers in time to run up the turnbuckles and set himself on the top. Jay turns to face his opponent, but Kid Kool is already running in to follow-up. Kool runs up the turnbuckles as well, and the two perch there precariously.

Kid Kool hits a few punches to the ribs, then hooks Freeze around the torso and lifts. Wobbling a bit, he shifts his grip to the backs of the knees, then adopts a quick front facelock before falling backward in a top rope Overnight Sensation cradle DDT! Absolutely sick.

Kool floats over into a lateral press and gets 1... 2... 2.9999! Jay Freeze barely kicked out.

Kid Kool runs to the ropes and springboards off the middle for a quebrada, but Jay Freeze manages a desperation short-range dropkick while Kool is upside-down in mid-leap. Both men lie still for a bit, until Jay Freeze reaches out and uses the bottom rope to pull himself out onto the apron.

Jay pulls back on the top rope and slingshots himself into a somersault senton. He leans back, hooking a leg for 1... 2... 2.9999! Kid Kool got his other foot onto the nearby bottom rope.

Freeze pulls Kool up in a half nelson. Kool twists out and into a wristlock, but Freeze quickly jerks him into a front facelock. Freeze gets a grip on the waistband of Kool's trunks and stomps the mat. He lifts for a vertical suplex, but Kool drops out the back and lands on his feet. He shoves Jay Freeze into the ropes and leapfrogs over him when he bounces back. Freeze rebounds and eats a twisting flying forearm that knocks him flat.

Kid Kool comes up favoring his bad ankle, but looking to press the offense. He climbs up top and sets himself facing the crowd. He makes a rolling gesture with his arms, then leaps backward for The Delayed Reaction, his inverted 450 splash! 1... 2... 3.

Kid Kool limps up and gets his hand raised in victory, but Sal del Rio slides into the ring behind him with a chair in hand, trailing a swarm of security guards. Sal waffles Kid Kool across the back with the chair, driving him to his knees. Sal grabs the bad ankle and fixes the chair around it, but security storms the ring before he can properly Pillmanize Kid Kool, and Sal slides out the opposite side to shove his way through the crowd. Kid Kool is left lying face-down in the ring, slapping the canvas in pain, with a chair wrapped around his ankle.

WINNER: Kid Kool, cleanly by pinfall after The Inverted 450 Splash.

I'll give it a *½ rating. (O:57. C:39. M:76. Kid Kool gained 3 points of overness from the much-needed television exposure. It seemed a bit of a spotfest, though.)

- - Commercials - -

3. A Kool Kontender:

When we come back from the break, we find Kid Kool not in the ring writhing in pain, but limping around backstage with Alicia Webb. Despite the continued presence of a nose guard, Alicia is still stunning in a grey cardigan jacket buttoned just below the bust, a black skirt, sheer stockings, and strappy heels. A gold “AW” pendant hangs from a necklace. She holds a microphone out for Kid Kool, who continues to pace for a bit before shouting into it.

“Sal del Rio! You wanted me to prove I deserve a shot?! Well, I just put away the FORMER number one contender, one... two... three. You think everyone else has been holding you back? Man, the only person you can blame your failure on is the one looking back at you from the mirror.”

“But that might be part of the problem. I don't think you see who we see when we look at you, Sal, because... man... I still see the guy I drove fourteen hours with to wrestle in front of thirty-seven people in the rain at some fairground that reeked of burnt funnel cake and corn dogs. I still see the guy who tried to drink a gallon of milk on a dare and threw up all over his mother's Beanie Babies. I still see the guy who stood in my corner and waited eagerly for the tag. I still see my friend, Kid Xtacy, but I don't know how to reach him... I don't know how to talk to him... I don't know how to help him, so at Christmas Chaos, I'm going to do the only thing I DO know how to do... I'm going to beat him.”

Kid Kool nods silent thanks to Alicia, then limps off.

(Interview: 79. Kid Kool gained another 3 points of overness, keeping hope alive.)

Before we can cut back to ringside, Adam Windsor walks into frame, dressed to wrestle in his royal blue singlet. He's not even wearing his sequined ring robe, he's so serious. Alicia rolls her eyes.

“If you want interview time, Adam, schedule it like everyone else. I don't have anything to say to you.”

“I'm not here to talk with you, luv. I just need you to hold that microphone steady, because now that Lazarus has been dealt with, it's time for me to step up my game. It's time for me to reach the next level. Last month, you picked John Hennigan over me to be that lad's tag team partner... It was a good decision, since they were victorious, but... I've got to wonder... what if you HAD picked me?”

“I thought you weren't talking to me?”

“I'm not. I'm talking to John... because you probably had Lazz beaten, John, before he booted you in the bollocks, and that leaves doubt... that leaves ambiguity... and I want to show... I need to KNOW... that I am better than you. Tonight, John, I'm hoping you'll do me a kindness and climb into the ring with me to find out. No low blows... No pulling tights... No interference, just you and me and the Duchess of Queensbury Rules.”

“Duchess of Queensbury?”

Windsor ignores her. “Now, I won't judge you too harshly if you decline, John. I won't call you a coward or anything of that nature. This is a sport of kings, and we're both just now coming into our own. I know that if we don't cross swords tonight, I'm sure it'll happen down the road, since we're both destined for greatness, but tonight... tonight could be magic.”

For the record, the “sport of kings” is horse racing, but that's neither here nor there, because Windsor's neither a horse nor a king. I suppose we'll get Hennigan's answer, after...

- - Commercials - -

4. Adam Windsor (-F-) vs. John Hennigan (-F-) ?:

We come back to find Adam pacing the ring with his hands on his hips. Dan “the Dragon” Wilson stands by with microphone in hand. “Pomp and Circumstance” plays while the crowd largely sits on its collective hands.

”Introducing... in the ring at my left... from Coventry, England... weighing fifteen and one-fourth stone... royally bred of royal blood... THIS is The Royal Stud... Adam Wiiiindsor!”

Windsor holds his hands up, but the response is lukewarm at best. One could assume the live crowd wasn't privy to the backstage segment as Wildside is clearly not capable of affording a Titantron. Wilson pauses in the introductions, waiting along with Windsor to see if Hennigan shows.

They soon get their answer as Neil Young's “Rockin' In The Free World” begins to play. John Hennigan explodes through the curtain, taking a twirl on the ramp to a ringrat squeal at least. He then sprints down the ring to hop up onto the apron and lean waaaay back, holding on to the top rope with one hand to keep his balance while his long brown hair hangs loose. He then slingshots himself into the ring and hops up and down a bit before approaching Windsor for a sporting handshake.

The two circle for a bit before engaging in a fingerlace test of strength. They lean into each other, neither man giving an inch. Hennigan is the first to start buckling, and he is forced back towards a bridge. Before his shoulders hit the mat, however, Hennigan plants his boots in Windsor's midsection to throw him in a monkey flip.

Hennigan tries to flip over into a mount, but Adam gets his knees up to clumsily block. Hennigan instead rolls backward to his feet, pulling Adam back up in the process. Adam swings his leg over, breaking one of the fingerlaces, then uses the other to pull Hennigan into a stiff shuffling Superkick. Ouch.

John Hennigan stumbles backward holding his jaw in shock. Adam keeps hold of the hand, however, and doesn't let him drop. Adam tries a whip to the ropes, but John recovers in time to reverse. He sets himself for Windsor's return. He telegraphs a clothesline, and Adam snares the wrist as he ducks under and goes behind to hook up a side Russian legsweep.

Neither man stays down for long, and we get a stereo kip-up followed by a startled staredown. There's a pause for indy respect, then another handshake of good sportsmanship. We're back to circling, each man with a confident smile on his face.

They lock up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Adam shows his Funking Conservatory training as he twists into a hammerlock, then falls prone to hit a drop toe hold, finally scooting forward for a side headlock, all in rapid succession. Hennigan slaps at his shoulder and gets up to one knee, then a crouch.

He shoves Windsor off and into the ropes. Adam comes back looking for a clothesline, but John easily ducks under it and races to the ropes as well. The two collide in the center, with Hennigan able to hit a jumping leg lariat to flatten Windsor.

John jumps up and into a split-legged handstand. He pulls one hand away and spins to land on Windsor with a Capoeira leg drop. John leans over to pull a leg back for 1... 2... Adam Windsor kicks out.

Hennigan pulls Windsor up by the neck and tries a boot to the gut, but Windsor catches it. The ensuing enzuigiri lashes “The Royal Stud” across the face, sending him toppling face-first to the canvas. Hennigan gets up and pulls Windsor into a side cradle for 1... 2... 2.999999! Hennigan couldn't keep his hands locked together to get the three.

John pulls Adam up in a rear waistlock. He tries a back suplex, but Adam flips over to end up in a three-point stance behind him, not quite sticking the landing. Sadly, we get a brief pause before Adam can pull John back in a schoolboy roll-up. Hennigan rolls through the pinfall attempt and to his feet, preventing a count, but only to eat a lunging Superkick that lays him out like a gunshot.

Adam Windsor dives for the academic lateral press and gets the 1... 2... 3.

No! John's foot is under the bottom rope, and Referee Chris Emerson (also in a neck-brace) holds up two fingers. Rather than throw a temper tantrum, Adam Windsor shows surprising maturity, merely nodding his understanding.

He pulls Hennigan up by the neck and adopts a reverse nelson, locking his hands in a butcher's grip on the blue chipper's back. Before he can lift, John gets his legs squared up and backdrops out. Adam Windsor rolls to his feet only to get knocked clear through the ropes with a running dropkick.

Adam Windsor uses the ringside railing to pull himself up, but he's clearly dazed. John Hennigan looks down at his fallen foe and pulls back on the top rope. Referee Chris Emerson intervenes, trying to warn Hennigan of the danger he'd pose to himself, Windsor, and the fans.

The debate distracts both men long enough for a cloaked and hooded figure in the front row to blast Windsor upside the head with a steel chair, making a horrendous clang against the top of the railing. The figure throws back the hood to reveal a porcelain mask covering half of his face. The exposed half is clearly that of Lazarus!

Before Emerson can turn and see the source of the awful racket, Lazz rolls Windsor back into the ring and disappears under the ring apron with a macabre fluorish of his cloak. The fans make some half-hearted noise, mostly groans rather than attempts to tell the referee what has transpired. Hennigan gives ringside a cursory examination before hitting The Standing Shooting Star Press and picking up the 1... 2... 3.

Hennigan gets his hand raised, then rolls to the outside where Windsor got cold-cocked by Lazz, so to speak. He paces for a bit with his hands on his hips, ignoring fans' outstretched hands, and showing uncertainty and concern. Finally, the Interested Party of two weeks ago catches his eye. The man stands six foot with a white button shirt and dress slacks. Silver mirrorshades hide his eyes, so his stony expression is inscrutable. John points at him and barks some inquiries, but the man merely waves him off condescendingly and walks away.

John shakes his head and departs up the ramp as he is announced as the winner. Windsor, meanwhile, uses the ropes to pull himself up. His blonde locks are stained scarlet from the blood which has trickled from his scalp. It's not a sick blade job, by any stretch, but it's enough to make him visibly angry. Windsor rolls out to the floor and heads up the ramp, his head hung in disappointment.

Suddenly, the apron ruffles and Lazz emerges from under the ring, chair in hand. He winds up, but Windsor stops in his tracks and hops back to drive the chair into his face with a no-look Superkick! Adam balls up his fists and snarls with righteous rage.

Lazarus scuttles away, and security is on the scene to keep Adam from laying a beating into him. Adam screams his fury as one half of the security team drags him away. The other half loom over Lazarus, making sure there's no more funny business. Eventually, both parties are sorted out and escorted separately to the back.

WINNER: John Hennigan, by pinfall with The Standing Shooting Star Press after some undetected interference from Lazarus.

It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *½ rating. (O:59. C:46. M:73. Lazarus gained a point of overness from switching up his showtune-obsessed Gay gimmick yet again.)

- - Commercials - -

5. A “Taped” Promo from The Soul Assassin:

We return, not to ringside, nor to backstage, but to Georgia's Decatur Boxing Club. We know that because a huge banner stating that hangs prominently in the background. It looks like one hand is going to wash the other here with some cross-promotion.

Rainman hits the heavy bag repeatedly under the dual supervision of both Jeff G. Bailey and the best handpad trainer in the United States, the legendary Xavier Biggs. “The Soul Assassin” looks focused, while Bailey just oozes nervousness. Bailey rubs his neck and stretches, undoubtedly still feeling the lingering effects of a Blaq Out DDT.

“I hope everything with the champ works out okay. You're sure we're cool?” he asks.

“We cool.”

“You ready for Caprice Coleman?”

“Twenty-four-seven, three-sixty-five.”

“You gonna knock him out?”

“Will a five hunnerd pound sack'o flour make a big ass biscuit?” Rainman gives the heavy bag one last thump, then turns to face the camera. “You want an interview? Don't look at Bailey. Look at me. You wanna call me out, Caprice? I'm going to show up to Christmas Chaos with my fists taped. You wanna knock this chip off my shoulder, then you do the same.

“I didn't grow up with no silver spoon in my mouth and no Golden Gloves neither. I grew up fightin', because that's what us poor colored folk do. I didn't knock bitches out because it was fun. I didn't knock bitches out for trophys n' plaques. I knocked bitches out because I had to. I got four hunnerd years of slavery and oppression fillin' my fists with dyn-o-mite, and I only wish it wasn't one of my black brothers I'm gonna unleash them on...”

Rainman looks at Bailey, who blanches and swallows hard.

“...but that really don't matter. If you ain't with us... you against us, and what I'll do to you will liberate you. I'm gonna free you, Caprice. I'm gonna end your exploitation by ending your career. You think you got it bad now? Wait 'til you can't dance for The Man no mo. Then you see how much charity they show you. Then you'll wish you stood up for yourself... for your culture... for your heritage... and for your brothers.”

Xavier Biggs shakes his head. “You gotta let that stuff go, man.”

Rainman turns to glare at him. “You don't worry 'bout that. You concentrate on getting me ready physically. I've been mentally ready my whole life. This interview's over.”

Neither Bailey nor the cameraman argue as we cut back to the ring.

(Interview: 56. Jeff G. Bailey gained a point of overness from dodging a bullet, possibly literally.)

6. Jimmy Rave & Onyx (-F-) vs. Jeremy Lopez & Black Tigers? (-H-):

”I wanna take you on a rollercoasterrrr...” “Leave You Far Behind” by Lunatic Calm off The Matrix soundtrack plays as spotlights sweep the entrance ramp. Jimmy Rave bursts through the curtain with his arms held out and the Wildside Television Title around his waist. His brown hair is wet and tousled, his silver pants baggy and shiny. He slips out of his sleeveless black Jimmy Rave t-shirt to a mild squealie pop and tosses it into the crowd.

”The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for ONE FALL... Introducing FIRST... from The Underground... weighing in at 210 pounds... the Wildside Television Champion... The Original XTC... Jimmy Raaaave!”

Jimmy turns to face the ring and sprints down the ramp toward it. He slides in under the bottom rope, coming up to one knee with his hands thrown out. He unstraps the title belt and passes it to Senior Referee Speedy Nelson.

”His partner hails from Jamaica, Queens... weighing in at 217 pounds... The Genetic Specimen... this... IS... Onyyyyx!”

“Slam” by the band of the same name plays. When the lyrics hit, Onyx comes barreling through the curtain in his black and white trunks and a black Doom-style mask as per the stipulations of his match last week. He slides into the ring and does a few push-ups, showing off his impressive physique. He hops up to his feet and high fives his partner. Smiling, they make light chit-chat, showing real camraderie.

”I want it all...

I want it all...

I want it all...

And I want it NOW!”

Queen's “I Want It All” continues to play as Jeremy Lopez slowly saunters out to a chorus of jeers. He wets his long black hair with a plastic bottle of water, then tosses it up to punt it toward the ring, splashing nearby fans with reckless abandon. He still sports his sparse moustache and beard as well as an angry scowl. He wears a red t-shirt with some kanji script on it as well as black tights with red flame designs.

”Introducing their opponents... FIRST... from Tampa, Florida... weighing 187 pounds... Jeremyyyy Lopez!”

Lopez climbs up the ring steps and stands on the apron, demanding that Senior Referee Speedy Nelson hold his opponents back before he climbs into the ring. After they make some meager attempt at appeasing him, he drops off the apron anyway to continue pacing around ringside.

The house lights dim and “Battle Without Honor or Humanity” starts to play. When the guitar crashes, a hulking figure steps through the curtain and pauses on the ramp, a black and silver hooded robe obscuring his face. He slowly stomps down towards the ring.

”His partner... uh... is the reigning Wildside Heavyweight Champion... yeah-buh-wha?!”

Unless Black Tigers has magically grown an entire foot in height and gained a buck-twenty in weight, this isn't the guy who's been under the mask previously. He shrugs out of the ring robe to display the usual Black Tigers attire, obviously a new set tailored to his own massive proportions, and the Wildside Heavyweight Title on his shoulder.

Jeremy Lopez is caught sneering as this bigger Black Tigers passes the strap up to Speedy Nelson, who, in turn, hands it off to a ring attendant. Jeremy's eyes track the belt until he's taken off guard by a slap on the back by his partner. Black Tigers climbs up the stairs and steps in over the top rope with relative ease.

Onyx tilts his head and sighs in disbelief. Jimmy Rave is left to merely shrug. Dan “the Dragon” Wilson leaves the ring with his introductions unfinished to get on his headset at the announce position and decry this farce.

As Lopez gets up onto the apron, Onyx points at him, then at Tigers, then makes a gesture above his own head to indicate that an unmasking is going to happen if he has any say about it. Jimmy Rave tries to calm Onyx down, and manages to convince him to let the Television champ start out against the behemoth. Big Black Tigers jogs in place a bit, then turns and tags in a surprised Jeremy Lopez. Calmly, the big man steps back out over the top rope and even takes hold of the tag rope to wait patiently on the apron.

Lopez shakes his head and reluctantly climbs in. “I ain't afraid of this punk!” he shouts as they circle. They wiggle fingers, teasing a fingerlace test of strength, but Jeremy pulls his back and declines, wiping them on his tights. The second time around, Jeremy goes behind and sweeps the legs to knock Jimmy onto his stomach. He spins around on top of him, coming around to lock in a front facelock.

Rave grabs hold of the wrist and twists to reverse positions, scoring a hammerlock along the way. Jeremy struggles up to his feet and circles, trying to spin out of the hold. Rave keeps pace with him, so he gets impatient and goes to the hair to secure a snap mare. A lashing kick to the spine makes Rave cringe. Lopez throws him down and takes a lazy lateral press that still manages to get two.

Senior Referee Speedy Nelson warns Jeremy about the hair, but Jer-Lo blows him off and turns away in mid-sentence. Jeremy tags in Black Tigers and doesn't climb out onto the apron, standing there with his hands on his hips instead. When Tigers turns to look at him, Lopez motions impatiently for the big man to get in the ring.

Black Tigers steps in, again over the top rope, and shoves Lopez, demanding to know what he wants. Jimmy Rave tries charging both men, but they turn and set themselves to hit a double back body drop that launches Rave over the top rope and to the concrete floor below. Yikes.

The announce team say they’re not sure if Jimmy Rave can recover, but we’ll have to wait to find out, because it’s time for the final break of the evening.

- - Mid-Match Commercials - -

When we come back, Onyx is stomping the apron, trying to rally Jimmy Rave. Rave struggles to his feet and prepares to pull himself back into the ring, but Black Tigers stomps down on his hand, cutting him off. Tigers grabs Rave by the neck and drags him in under the bottom rope.

A few stomps to the neck soften Rave up. Tigers pulls him up and into a long delayed vertical suplex, walking him around the ring for a while before dropping him to the canvas. A lazy lateral press gets 1… 2… Rave kicks out!

Black Tigers lays some more boots into Rave’s neck. He backs into the ropes deep and comes off for a big leg drop, but Rave rolls out of the way to dodge. He keeps rolling to his feet and hits the ropes. While Tigers is still reeling from compacting his own spine, Rave hits a running knee strike to the side of the head.

Rave then dives for the hot tag to Onyx. Predictably, Onyx comes in a house afire. Right hands for Black Tigers. Right hands for the incoming Jeremy Lopez, who drops prone and rolls right back out. Black Tigers charges right into a thunderous powerslam. Nice crisp pivot on that.

Tigers doesn’t even stay down for one, shrugging Onyx aside and lumbering to his feet. Onyx ducks under a telegraphed clothesline and reaches up to hit a jumping neckbreaker. Onyx rolls over and takes an inverted facelock, locking in The Jamaica City Dreams (dragon sleeper)! Black Tigers is in deep trouble.

We tease the submission victory for a bit until Black Tigers uses his power to get his shoulder under the smaller man and lift him off the canvas. Tigers stumbles over to his corner and smashes Onyx against the turnbuckles. Jeremy Lopez hooks the boot of Onyx under the corner buckle, locking him in a tree of woe, then makes the blind tag by cuffing Tigers on one massive shoulder.

Lopez slingshots himself into the ring and takes hold of one top rope in each hand. He pulls himself up and hits a stiff basement dropkick to the face of Onyx. Lopez comes up all malicious smiles and issues some instruction to Black Tigers. He lifts Onyx up in an inverted facelock while Tigers unhooks him from the tree of woe. Lopez mugs for a bit, then twists into an inverted whiplash neckbreaker.

Lopez hooks a leg and leans back across the broad chest of Onyx for 1… 2… 3-NO! Onyx gets his shoulder up.

Onyx sits up as Jeremy gets to his feet. A stiff kick to the spine makes Onyx bellow and tense in pain, his tendons drawing taut like steel cable. Lopez runs to the ropes. Onyx scrambles up and ducks under a Yakuza kick. Lopez turns and gets leveled with an Onyx clothesline.

Onyx quickly scores a front facelock and yells. Before he can hit The Blaq Out, Lopez squares up his stance and reverses into a Northern Lights suplex, bridging for 1… 2… 3!

No! Rave breaks up the pinfall with a frog splash on the bridging Jeremy Lopez! This draws in Black Tigers, who knocks Jimmy out of the ring with a big clothesline. Tigers turns to run Onyx down, but Onyx ducks under the clothesline, leaving Jer-Lo to get flattened!

Onyx spins the big Black Tigers around and spikes him with The Blaq Out DDT! Onyx pops up almost immediately to find Lopez on his feet and staggered. Onyx pulls him back into a schoolboy for 1… 2… 3!

Black Tigers rolls out of the ring and quickly takes Lopez with him. They start to retreat up the ramp, wanting no part of a victorious and fired-up Onyx, who is quickly joined by Rave in the ring to taunt them. Lopez takes immediate exception to Black Tigers taking the Wildside Heavyweight Title from the timekeeper’s table. Lopez takes hold of one strap, and a tug-of-war ensues, but it’s quickly won with authority by Tigers, who shoulders the belt and stomps off.

WINNERS: Jimmy Rave & Onyx, by pinfall after Black Tigers accidentally flattened Jeremy Lopez with a clothesline (Onyx over Lopez).

Worth a ** rating, but no more than that. (O:65. C:50. M:81.)

Overall Rating: 63 % (+3%)

TV Rating: 0.38 (+0.02)

Strongest Segment: Kid Kool’s victory speech and challenge. (79%)

Weakest Segment: Jeff G. Bailey taping Rainman's fists, which was hardly a bad segment. (56%)

Attendance: 159 @ $20 each (+3)

Feud Heat:

Barry Windham vs. David Young: 58+10!=68! Boo-yah!

December 25, 2003

The NWA:TNA yo-yo continues, and they’re back to Global. They steal BG James from WWA, sign Ken Shamrock, Tatsumi Fujinami, and some staff.

Feedback, criticism, ideas, and verbal attacks are all welcome and encouraged. Thanks for reading, and we’ll see ya soon!

Have fun,

TheRay

Edited August 26, 2008 by TheRaySays