Good Wrestling Hartford

Emperor Fuckshit · May 22, 2004

The Diary of Quentin J. McCarthy III

Let me tell you something about 'Vince McMahon'. Well, I guess I don't need those inverted commas - that's his real name. Anyway, this is something you haven't read about Vincent Kennedy McMahon in all of these TV interviews, and 'broadgrammes' about the life of this 'genius'. They're fluff pieces, they're lies, is all they are.

Vincent Kennedy McMahon is nothing but a lying, cheating scumbag!

Yeah, that's right. This ain't no A&E Biography now, you facehead. This is real. This is all about the events of summer 1952. These events are shrouded with mystery...they've been covered up by 'the man'. Well this ain't no A&E Biography (those words sound familiar...), fuckenstance. This is a mindfuck, an eye-opener, a big slice of truth cutting into your brain like a pizza slicer. That mound of pink, quivering flesh? That was medulla oblongata. That jerking spasm of blue-ish jelly? Your pituitary gland. Are you fucking ready for this? You're not on the couch with Regis & Kelly anymore, Vincent.

First of all - he didn't make it. That model of the UFO? His mommy made it! He didn't so much as glue the pieces together! You see, Vince McMahon needs everything handed to him on a plate. His fortune, his big rassling company, all of it. Daddy bought it, or Mommy made it. Snivelling son of a bitch couldn't do a day's honest work to save his life. And when that judge slapped the rosette on that grotesque, that smirking, that fucking leering Unidentified Flying Object...well, Vincent, something died inside of me. A little part of me died. How does that feel on your conscience? I bet it feels like ten million copies of the Complete Works of Tolstoy balancing on a coffee table with a missing leg - pretty fucking uncomfortable. I just hope that rosette and that book token keeps you warm in Hell. Or cold in hell. Whichever.

I'm an old man, now, Vincent. The same age as you, actually, except I'm older. That's what happens when you work night and day with your hands -- creating your own fortune. Not that you'd know anything about that. Well now, I've sold my life's work, I've sold McCarthy Rope and Cable. But unlike you, I'm not happy when I'm not working. I can't just sit around here getting fat off the proceeds. Oh no. I've got another venture in mind.

Are you ready for some competition, Vince? Are you ready to get beat at your own game. I'm going to topple you of that mountain, Mr McMahon. McCarthy is coming. And eventually I will look into your blood stained face and you'll whisper 'it is over yet, Quentin? Can you make the pain stop?' NO! There's no respite for men like you, McMahon. The natural order is about to turn itself on its head.

This isn't for me, you know. No, it's for those balloons - they were all in perfect proportion, you asshole. They were life, they were the Universe.

You took what was rightfully mine. Now Quentin J. McCarthy III is coming for your first place.

user posted image

--Quentin J. McCarthy III

nomaster · May 22, 2004

sounds interesting, now i want to see what is happning

Emperor Fuckshit · May 23, 2004

<img src="http://hartfordadvocate.com/images/homeheader_left.gif" border="0" alt="Hartford Advocate" width="310" height="72">Local Entrepreneur Found DeadRope and Cable Magnate McCarthy Found Dead, Heart Attack Reportedly To Blame------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Local businessman, Quentin J. McCarthy III, 59, was found dead at his home last night, with a heart attack reportedly to blame.McCarthy owned and operated the famous McCarthy Rope & Cable factory, located on Governor Street, just east of the centre of Hartford. He had recently sold the factory and gone into early retirement, acting on the advice of his trusted family doctor. Quentin had suffered from heart problems for a number of years, which many attribute to his supposed alcoholism.The deceased is survived by a brother, and by a cousin who was born in and lives on the Greek island of Cyprus. McCarthy leaves no wife, nor children.A hard-working man with traditional values, McCarthy was a well respected member of the Connecticut industrial sector. However, his story is also tinged with tragedy, as a series of failed business ventures ate into what would've been a considerable sum of wealth.A funeral is scheduled for Saturday, and McCarthy will be buried alongside his parents at Hockanum Cemetery. It is believed that the church service will be opened to the public, and particularly to former employees of McCarthy Rope & Cable.Sometime before his death, McCarthy announced plans to open a small professional wrestling circuit, which was to be called Hartford Championship Wrestling. The rights to this name will be passed onto Quentin's Brother, Ernest McCarthy. However, Ernest's own health is questionable, and the company will likely be sold.

Kristos Is God · May 23, 2004

Me confused...

Scarface · May 23, 2004

It's part of the backstory...I guess.

Emperor Fuckshit · May 23, 2004

The Diary of Georgiou Constantanidis

Hello, computer -- A/S/L? (LOL! Just a little intarnet joke there). Well imagine I am surprised. Let me tell you of these events (that have happened).

I was in Cyprus, at home, in my restaurant - I was cooking some sturgeon. It is a seafood restaurant. Very good prices, I give you special deal. The phone rings and it is my cousin Ernest. He says 'Georgiou, Quentin is dead'. Oh no big surprise. Well, I get on a plane and come to America.

I didn't know Quentin very well, as he live in President Bush is Stupid for his life (LOL! Just a little politic joke there). I lived in Cyprus and I have a restaurant. It is very nice there, bring you're own drinks because my wife doesn't like alcohol and is worried that it will bend her mind into supple figments. Anyway, I was trying to get my peanuts open -- very hard (LOL! Just a little observation joke there). When I realised that I didn't know Quentin very well. I'm sure he is a nice man very good.

But, I am worried. Last time I was in America for the wedding, they hit me with oars and make me cook the food, they call me 'moustache twat' and 'shitty fuckwank'. It is very upsetting for me.

So, I come into the funeral, with the dead man, and Ernest is very nice to me. He says that he likes my suit and that I am a very good man. This is very different but it makes me very pleased. Anyway, he has something on his mind, so I say 'you are looking earnest' (LOL! Just a little pun joke there). And he laugh very hard and says that he needs to see me after the funeral.

After the funeral I put on my hat and I meet my cousin Ernest in the parking lot, and we look like those men from that film Blues Brothers, which is very funny (not the film) as we are almost brothers, but are cousins instead. He starts talking to me about this new business that Quentin opened -- it is some kind of fight competition for sweaty men. He says that he (Ernest) is too (more than sufficiently) ill (hip) to operate the company (fighting sweaty men competition). So, he tells me that Quentin wants to keep things 'in the family'. I realise that, even though I am from Eastern Europe, I am in the family and I am part of our excellent dynasty like a Greek mythology book, but not Turkish mythology because they are shit and kill footballs.

So, Ernest tells me that he wants me to come to live in America and operate this 'wrestling'. I say 'very good' I am a businessman sharp suit, looking snappy monsieur, NASDAQ. Ernest pats me on the shoulder, and then we walk away, and I stand on the spot thinking about that card game with the children and Alfonso Ribiero, but then I realise a bad truth:

'I KNOW NOTHING OF WRESTLING'

I am a businessman, give my compliments to the chef! I have no knowledge of wrestling. Tonight, I will buy tapes of this Parthenon. I will learn of wrestling. I will have big plan, very good, sweaty men.

First of all I change the name of the company. My dad always told me that the name of your company should tell all of your customers what your product is. So, I start bending my brain like David Beckham's balls (pun Nintendo) and come up with a new name:

Hartford - it is in Hartford.

Good - it will be very good.

Wrestling - It is wrestling!

Now we have a name, all we need is some wrestlers, a ring, a talking man, and some kind of building.

Kalispera, wrestlefans!

user posted image

--Georgiou Constantanidis

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OOC: Yes, this is the story of an old European stereotype taking over a small wrestling fed in Hartford, CT. On the surface. Of course, this is all bollocks and its just an excuse for me to dick around and do as much stupid stuff as possible. Roster coming.

Edit: Fixed.

Edited May 23, 2004 by Emperor Fuckshit

Kristos Is God · May 23, 2004

Dicking around > All

Emperor Fuckshit · May 23, 2004

<img src="http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/Untitled-3_copy.jpg" alt="The image “http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/Untitled-3_copy.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors." width="500" height="98">The Diary of Georgiou ConstantanidisHello again to all my great fans! I have toured in a car up and down this great land of opportunity for wrestling men! The task has been hard but I have now a bunch of warriors, like great warrior grapes. They will not be fed to Lions (like old Christians) because Lions live to devour only meat. Instead they will be propped up on flames like a table on a phone book! Howdy Partner!Roster:Good Guys:'Blue Chip' Tony CastinoThis young man is the future of the wrestling industry! He can fly all over the ring, with his amazing speed and scary stamina, and great running! He often loves to breathe white powders in the dressing room! What a crazy tradition. The kids are going to love it - especially the girls. With his long, black hair and torn jeans, this young man really knows what's 'hip' with the youth of today!Tommy 'Black' BlackYo, 'jive' talkin' nigga. That's straight up, word. This 'funky-ass' 'mutha' be 'dropping' yo' ass before you can say 'yo, dawg'. He'll go 'funky' on yo' ass! Watch your hub caps around this young 'player'. But, hey, our fans go crazy for this loveable darkie, especially when he gets his 'groove' 'thang' on, with one of his 'bitches' ! 'World Lives'!Note: Most of these are new words for me. I got an old man at the hospital to write them. I think he is very funny! He will be helping from now on! If I make mistakes, e-mail these to me at:<a href="mailto:Georgiou@Internet.web">Georgiou@Internet.web</a>!Little PeteHe's out to prove that, SIZE DOESN'T MATTER (LOL! Just a little sex joke there). He may be a runty little twat, but there's every chance of him causing quite an upset in the ring. Our fans sure hope so! Very Good!Twats:'The Foul Pole' Yoshi Bin SantosHailing from...well...not the US, THAT'S for sure, The Foul Pole, Yoshi Bin Santos, has little respect for your way of life. He'll try every trick in the book to make sure those American lads don't get ahead. Look out for his manager, Ulrich Chi Singh - a wily old veteran who will stop at nothing to make sure those American lads don't get ahead. Woah! What subversion.Note:  I think this is a smart cunning strategy. Americans hate other nations, I believe, and this is a way of getting them to pay money to see a man who they don't like because he is very foreign, so they will want to see him lose so that he breaks his lively hood.'The Heel' Micky O'NeilThis man is NOT nice. If he saw you in the street, he would beat you up. After that, he would steal your house keys, and your address, and rape your mother. Possibly he would tie up your father and make him watch. After that, he would slit your father's throat with a straight razor and give all your bodies an acid bath. Crazy!Note: I learnt this word 'heel' new today! It is very cunning, for wrestling promoters, because it is a way of saying 'twat' in code, so that no-one will know, and mothers do not say 'hellos, Mr Bozel, I would LIKE TO MAKE A COMPLANT'!Yuri FatherFight the system? This man IS the system! He'll make you all clean your rooms, and then mow the lawn. He'll probably make fun of your tastes in art and music, and call you a 'Gothick' or a 'Hippee'. He simply doesn't undertand your way of life, and will do everything to make you uncomfortable. And if he sees you with a girl, he'll tell her about your genitalactic problems!Double Wrestlers:The Hartford Musical Connection (DJ Appeal & MC Music)Boopy-doop-boop. As we all know, music is excellent. I mean...radical. These young doodes couldn't agree more. They are part of some kind of band outside of the ring! DJ Appeal is well known for being quite a 'stud' with the ladies, as well. The Wealth Connection (Tribunus L. Finance & Chester, 'The Amiable Negro')Tribunus L. Finance is the world's richest man, and he knows it. He can even afford to keep his own personal manservant Chester, a Negro, who is somewhat amiable! Finance is, decidedly, a bad person. Often he will make you feel bad about your own desolate, poverty stricken existance. Boo to him! After all, I'm sure you're all quite happy living in squalor and desperation - you're 'real people' after all! Hooray!  Talker:Christopher DangerVery extreme, causes dangerous situations. Well that is a very strong group of men. I hope that we are soon able to make a show! Kalispera, wrestling fans.--Georgiou Constantanidis------------------------------------OOC Note: Dun-dun-dun! The loveable idiot is not loveable at all. He is a racist, out-of-touch, stereotype man. However, how can we expect a stereotype to come up with non-stereotypical characters? Who knows. The plot is thicker now!

Kristos Is God · May 23, 2004

XD!

Emperor Fuckshit · May 23, 2004

<img src="http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/Untitled-3_copy.jpg" alt="The image “http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/Untitled-3_copy.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors." width="500" height="98">HARTFORD WRESTLING GREATS Present... "YEAH! REALLY GOOD!"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Main Event:(Hartford World Title)'Blue Chip' Tony Castino vs. Yoshi Bin Santos--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Hartford World Double Wrestlers Titles)The Musical Connection vs. Tribunus L. Finance & Chester--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tommy 'Black' Black vs. 'The Heel' Micky O'Neill--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------And...Yuri Father vs. Little Pete--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------And Much, Much More (But No More Matches)...

DMN in the House · May 24, 2004

Looks pretty interesting, but I have the racist, stereotypical market locked up

Emperor Fuckshit · May 24, 2004

Looks pretty interesting, but I have the racist, stereotypical market locked up

←

:lol: Don't worry. Your guys are evil. Mine are just very confused.

kaya · May 24, 2004

This is the funniest diary ive read in days! hehe, this is seriously hilarious shit so far NWC, the bad english, the (LOL! Just a little...), awesome awesome stuff NWC. Who says ethnic stereotypes cant be hilarious? Very much looking forward to your first show comrade, go Yoshi!

D-Extreme · May 26, 2004

finally read the backstory...that was a bit long. I like this diary of yours, it has a good start dude. An old aged man(i think) owning a wrestling company and he does not know anything about...RASSLIN. Cant wait to see your first event/show/whatever it might be.

Emperor Fuckshit · May 29, 2004

<img src="http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/Untitled-3_copy.jpg" alt="The image “http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/Untitled-3_copy.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors." width="500" height="98">Present: YEAH! REALLY GOOD!----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(We pan to the parking lot, which is infact just a driveway. It's night, and thus quite dark. A car drives up, and out steps an oldish man in a Hawaiian shirt and sandals. Hey, it's Ulrich Chi Singh. He opens the door of the car, and out steps Yoshi Bin Santos. He is wearing a formal suit, shirt and tie, as well as having some onions strung around his neck.)Yoshi Bin Santos:Ah! What a great day for a magnificent French man like me, Yoshi Bin Santos to achieve some kind of success! Ah am sure I weel, for am I very arrogant, n'est pas? Je suis formidable! What's more, j'aime le fine foods and good wines. You American peegs like only bad wines, and mediocre foods. Ah! If I gave you some very good wine, you Americans would say 'this wine is it good? I am not sure for am I fat aneedd stup. Howdy Partner, Coca Cola'. Ah, you Americans make me tres, tres angry! That is why I have come here to 'Artford, Connecticut, to teach you dirty, feelthy Americans - yes, all ____ of you - some style, and some class!Tonight, I face that young punk Tony Castino for the World 'Artford Title! I will take this title back to gay Paris, and drink many fine wines in celebration. VIVE LA FRANCE!(The camera pans in to reveal the make of the car. A Renault.)Overall Rating: 34%----------------------------(Now we move into the arena, with 35 screaming fans in attendance. We are taken to the commentary position, as the commentary will be piped through the PA at all HGW events).Christopher Danger: Wow! Purchasing of foreign automobiles to dent the domestic economy! That's extreme! This man has no regard for the way you and I live our lives, ladies and gentlemen. With that said, we have an OH MY GOD night of action tonight, including The Hartford Musical Connection taking on Tribunus L. Finance & Chester, the Amiable Negro for the World Hartford Tag Team Titles! That promises to be EXTREME! We'll also see Yuri Father take on Lit...Laughing Larry: A-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ha!Christopher Danger: ...will take on Little Pete and also Micky O'Neill in action against 'Black' Tommy Black. But in our main event tonight, the World Hartford Title is up for grabs as Yoshi Bin Santos is on a collision course with 'Blue Chip' Tony Castino. It should be a great matchup, fans. This one seems too close to call, in my estimation. Larry?Laughing Larry: Fuck you.----------------------------(Achilles' Heel by Zed Yargo hits, and out comes 'The Heel' Micky O'Neill. He steps into the ring and takes the house mic)Micky O'Neill: Tonight, I face Tommy Black in a one-on-one professional wrestling match. One fall. Sixty minute time limit. I will win this match. I will take Tommy and I will hit him over and over again with my fists until he falls limply canvas. There will be no period of respite. I will raise him up and drop him to the canvas again and again. If I need to, I will break every bone in his body. And I will enjoy it. And then, when he is sufficiently broken, I will pin his shoulders to the mat and win the contest. I will take pleasure in doing it. I will rub his face into the mat. I will not be nice towards him. Quoth the Heel...(With the fans still in awe at this speech, The Heel turns away and walks slowly up the aisle and to the back).Overall Rating: 18%O'Neill Gained Overness.----------------------------YURI FATHER VS. LITTLE PETEThis match was an almost complete squash. Pete is the smaller of the two at only 150lbs, giving up over 70lbs. He began by trying to use some speedy offense to knock Father off-balance, but was ultimately caught up and slammed. Father then took over with his brutal, slow and above all boring offense. He finished with the Angst Initiator (Powerbomb) and covered for the win.Winner: Yuri FatherCrowd Reaction: 12%, Workrate: 50%Overall Rating: 31%----------------------------Christopher Danger: Holy extreme! That was quite the squash match...Laughing Larry: Oh yeah, look at me, I'm Chris Danger...I'm a SMARK! A-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Douchebag.Christopher Danger: ...was quite the squash match. But now we have to go backstage, as The Hartford Musical Connection have something to say.----------------------------(We go 'backstage' to Georgiou's attic. Inside are DJ Appeal and MC Music, the Hartford Musical Connection. DJ Appeal is standing by a large cardboard box with 'IS A TURNTABEL' written on it, whilst MC Music strums at an acoustic guitar with three strings missing).DJ Appeal: We're the Hart-Hart-Hart-foooord Musi-sic-sic-sic-al Connect-ect-ect-nnect-connection. (Appeal scratches at an LP, lying on the top of the box. Music continues to strum away, but now looks up).MC Music: Oh, hello. Didn't see you come in there. We were just composing some radical tunes - its what we do in our spare time.DJ Appeal: Yeah, that's right. But what we also like to do is wrestle. Tonight we're taking on that rich punk Tribunus L. Finance and that dawg Chester. It's for the World Hartford Tag Titles...and, boys, we're ready. We're gonna hit ya with the two-tone attack, leave ya on ya back, we gonna bring your careers to a crescendo. MC Music: That's right man. We're gonna cause angst like we was Kurt Cobain. We're gonna shake it like Elvis. Tonight, you're gonna getaxed!(Music waves his guitar around to enforce the pun.)DJ Appeal:When ya step into the ring with punks like weIt's gonna be obvious that you will not seeA victory.We're gonna rock your soulAttack yo' mindYou'll be in quite a bind.We'll break your legsLike clothes pegs.We'll shock your spineWe're doing fine.We'll take the beltsIn order to further our professional wrestling careers.MC Music: Word.DJ Appeal: Life.Overall Rating: 33%The HMC Gained Overness.----------------------------Christopher Danger: Strong words there, from The Hartford Musical Connection. These young kids have got fire, they've got soul, they're tenacious, they'reLaughing Larry: Dumbfucks.Christopher Danger: tenacious, they're talented. I think they're going places in this organization. Larry?Laughing Larry: I'm going to hunt them down and slit their throats.----------------------------TOMMY 'BLACK' BLACK VS. 'THE HEEL' MICKY O'NEILL(Before the match, Tommy Black came out with a group of moderately attractive women. He was wearing a fur coat, a lovely hat, sixteen gold chains and has an extremely large afro. He came into the ring with a microphone.)Tommy Black: Hey. Let's get some quiet fo' this Mack Daddy. This eastside playa, represent. Hartford City make some noise 'cos you know I'm dope. I was in tha' crib eating some fried chicken (BIG POP!!!!!!!!) and watching the local basketball team. (HUGE POP!!!!) They was mackin' and the other fools was whackin'. Now, I'm out here for some thuggin', and I gotta show my skills against some joker...Micky O'Neill. He be makin' all these threats, but it don't mean shit. I'm gonna go Ultra-Black on that honkey. (HUGE POP!!!!!). Werd, ma' homies. Bring 'dat sucka out...THE MATCHThe match began with a staredown, and some stalling. Black showed us some slick moves, by god. Tommy Black showed off his slick wrestling skills to begin, with plenty of ARMDRAG TAKEOVERS and DROPKICKS. Whooo! Black-skinned fellow on fire. He moved O'Neill into the corner, and kicked away with some FUNKY kicks and some OFF THE HEEZY chops to a big reaction. However he went up top looking for a BITCHING maneuver of some sort, and was brought crashing to the ground by O'Neill. 'The Heel' the began to work away on the legs of Black, diminshing his inability to stand. He lifted up Black...Gorrila Press! And another! And another! Grrr! He then locked in a heelish resthold and sucked some horrible wind. Back up, O'Neill whipped Black in, but Black came back with a Blackening Blackzard and fell on top for the win. All in all, a decent but formulaic effort.Winner: Tommy BlackCrowd Reaction: 12%, Workrate: 70%Overall Rating: 41%----------------------------Christopher Danger: Woah! I know I felt like I was riding a soul train during that match. It's almost enough to make me wanna send out for some chicken. How do you want yours, Larry?Laughing Larry: Shoved up your faggot ass.Christopher Danger: Well, now, fans. The time for talking is over, and the time for wrestling action is upon us. The Hartford World Tag Titles will be contested. These teams have done a lot of talking talking talking...but now...um...fighting...----------------------------Hartford World Tag TitlesTHE HARTFORD MUSICAL CONNECTION VS. TRIBUNUS L. FINANCE & CHESTERThe HMCs play a version of rock, paper, scissors to see who starts, but it's 'drums, guitar, turntable' instead. DJ Appeal will start, as his guitar smashes through the drums of MC Music. Chester is forced to start by his owner.THE MATCHChester attempts some high-flying maneuvers to start, but you can't out-fly a man who is very fly (that being DJ Appeal). He gives Chester a sweet rana, and a quebrada. This portion of the match becomes a serious spotfest with, thankfully, more missing than hitting. However, an attempted Front Superplex from Appeal gets blocked, and the DJ gets dumped to the mat. Chester follows him down with a Shooting Star Press for two. Quickly, Tribunus orders the tag. Tribunus' dull brawling then dominates, as we get a serious style-clash with the spot monkeys on HMC. Tribunus basically beats up both members of the opposition on his own, but then goes for a powerbomb on Music. It gets reversed into a rana, and Tribunus is forced to tag out. Left alone, Chester soon falls prey to The Last Note In This Particular Piece of Music and is pinned. Whoaoahahah! The Hartford Musical Connection win the straps!!! They celebrate in the ring, as Tribunus admonishes Chester outside, rice falls from the ceiling, and all is not as it seems.Winners & HARTFORD WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPS: The Hartford Musical Connection.Crowd Reaction: 21%, Workrate: 71%Overall Rating: 42%The Titles Gained Image.----------------------------Christopher Danger: Well, here am I, Chris Danger, at ringside, with Tribunus L. Finance here. At ringside. Any thoughts, Tribunus.Tribunus L. Finance: My daddy always said 'never trust a nigger'. He said that a nigger is like a dawg. You think you know it, you think you trust it, and then it goes and stabs you in the back. You can never be sure about it. I found that out the hard way tonight. Fucking darkies.Christopher Danger: How wonderfully inappropriate. Thank you. And now -- this...----------------------------(The jumbo tron (a small Sony TV wheeled in on a stand) shows a video made earlier today, in 'a special secret location'. Or Constantinidis' house. Whichever.)(A teenager is sitting in his room, listening to Nirvana. He 'totally rawks out' to the badass noise of Come As You Are, until the door bursts open. And there, in all of his horrific glory is...Yuri Father. He is attired in a comfy sweater, jeans, and boots.)Yuri Father: Hey, you fucking gothic hippy. You turn down that fucking shit music, you shit. I'll call the fucking cops. Fucking waster. Go and get a job. Do some work! I am angry.Teen: Like, chill out, dude.Yuri Father: Dude? Dude???? You fucking call me 'dude' again, I kick your ass. Mow my fucking lawn, shitbag.(We cut to the garden, where the teenager is struggling to get to grips with a lawnmower. After a serious of HILARIOUS (seriously, it was just that funny) mishaps, he begins to mow the lawn. However, we pan to the side of the house, where the mower is plugged in. Yuri Father approaches softly, and pulls the plug. He bends down and motions to the camera for silence. We hear the mower cut out, and pan to the perplexed teen. He stands around for a while and inspects the mower, before deciding that it's no good.)Teen: Dad!!! Dad???!!!Yuri Father: Yes? Why you fucking drag me from the inside of the house, where I was, to the outside of the house??? Why?Teen: I think the lawn mower is like, stoned, or something.Yuri Father:  Stone??? I'll fucking stone you in a minute if you don't shut up.(The teen walks off dejectedly, but, sneakily, Yuri trips him. The teen falls onto a rock, and a small puddle of blood begins to form around his head.)Yuri Father: Fucking kids.(Father stands around for a while, and suddenly, by the magic of video, he is holding a can of beer in one hand, a spliff in the other, and is wearing some excellent sunglasses. Some kickass rock 'n' roll begins to play.)Yuri Father: I Fucking Teach Them!----------------------------Chistopher Danger: Jesus! So much blood! That was EXTREME! That is one badass old man. I like his prospects here in Greats of Wrestling from Hartford. Larry?Laughing Larry: Ask me a question again and I'll kill you.Christopher Danger: Well, later we have our main event, with the World Hartford Title on the line. It's gonna be Tony Castino taking on Yoshi Bin Santos. We heard from Bin Santos earlier, but now we're gonna go backstage and listen to some words from Tony Castino...----------------------------Tony Castino: Hey yo, my fellow youngsters. Tonight I'm taking on that French froggy French punk, Yoshi Bin Santos. Well, ya know something -- I'm pretty tired of these foreigners. They come to OUR country, to the USA, and they take our jobs, our seats...they breathe our FUCKING AIR, FOR SHITSAKE. And were supposed to just accept this? We're supposed to be all 'politically correct' and just say 'hey welcome French dude, come and be sweaty and eat garlic right near me'. Is that what were supposed to do? Well no fucking more! This is where it stops! Tonight I'm going to stand up for all of you downtrodden Americans, with shitty lives, who have no choice but to watch while a goddamn Chinese dude does your old job! I'm gonna represent the youth of this country. We're gonna take this country back. Hey, Bin Santos? We all know you Frenchies have no balls. How about I pretend to be Germany and you submit to me quickly after our match begins. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. French people suck, dude.----------------------------Christopher Danger: Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep, Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes, What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep, As it fitfully blows, now conceals, now discloses? Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam, In full glory reflected now shines on the stream: 'Tis the star-spangled banner! O long may it wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.And where is that band who so vauntingly swore That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion A home and a country should leave us no more? Their blood has wiped out their foul footstep's pollution. No refuge could save the hireling and slave From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave: And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand Between their loved homes and the war's desolation! Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation. Then conquer we must, for our cause it is just, And this be our motto: "In God is our trust." And the star-spangled banner forever shall wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!Laughing Larry: Shove the flag up your ass, fag.----------------------------World Hartford Title'BLUE CHIP' TONY CASTINO VS. 'THE FOUL POLE' YOSHI BIN SANTOSThe match began with some stalling, as Bin Santos took off his effeminate robe, and struck some lovely poses. He seemed rather pleased with himself. Castino told him to bring it. They locked up, but Bin Santos used a thumb to the eye, and then scampered away. Trickery! This only served to get Castino madder. They locked up again, and Santos tried the eye poke, but it was blocked. Then Castino used a series of rights and lefts. Castino took control of the match at this point, using his standard offense of suplexes as well as high-flying moves. A Tornado DDT got two. However, Bin Santos went low with Le Crusher de Nuts to even the score. He worked over the knee of Castino with some basic holds and strikes, perhaps setting up his opponent for the dreaded Cannes Cloverleaf. This went on for a while, as Bin Santos grabbed in a knee lock, but it was broken when he tried to use the ropes for leverage. Boo! On one leg, Castino made a valiant fightback, as the crowd rallied behind their American Superstar. A clothesline flawed Santos, and then a series of aerial attacks had Santos reeling. Tony looked about to go in for the kill...BUT WAITAMINUTE! Some rather familiar kick-ass rock 'n' roll began to play! Holy Parents...it's Yuri Father. Oh no! The referee has the mumps, he is powerless to stop this mysterious situation. Castino grits his teeth prepared for a fight. OLD DUDE OUT OF CONTROL RIGHT HANDS. Oh no! Castino is reeling...Father Figure Four!!!!!!!! It's wrenching that injured leg. Castino is tapping out, but, by god there's no-one to help. That leg must be sore! Now what??? Ulrich Chi Singh is loading up a syringe with the controversial MMR vaccine, known to resist mumps despite fears that it could cause autism in rare cases! He's injecting the referee, and the ref begins to wake up, and his fever and sore throat are going!!!. Yuri Father crawls out of the ring...Bin Santos rolls on top! Not like this!!! Not like this!!! 1....2...3! Ah! Damn those French, and their medical supplies. Chi Singh and Bin Santos parade around with the title, and shake hands with Yuri Father. What a scary alliance. But look, Father has a slight glint in his eye? What is the meaning of this???? We;re out of time...Winner and WORLD CHAMPION OF THE HARTFORD AREA: Yoshi Bin SantosCrowd Reaction: 14%, Workrate: 72%Overall Rating: 43%The Title Gained Image.----------------------------Overall Rating: 34PI: Rises by 4%.A Helpful Reminder of Match Results Summary At The End of Show:Yuri Father d. Little PeteTommy Black d. Micky O'NeillHMC d. Tribunus & ChesterYoshi Bin Santos d. Tony Castino----------------------------STAY TUNED FOR MORE THINGS!

Kristos Is God · May 29, 2004

Laughing Larry>Most

kaya · June 3, 2004

Awesome show NWC, this is the only thing ive found worth reading in the dome atm, i love this whole concept. Honestly there's not much i can say that isnt just cheesy flattery, the whole show was hilarious, the promos are fucking gold. Larry = Sycodmn, hilarious shit, just hilarious.

"Ulrich Chi Singh is loading up a syringe with the controversial MMR vaccine, known to resist mumps despite fears that it could cause autism in rare cases! He's injecting the referee, and the ref begins to wake up, and his fever and sore throat are going!!!. "

GOLD~!

I hope you're still going with this, it's not in your sig... :'(

Emperor Fuckshit · June 3, 2004

The Diary of Georgiou ConstantanidisHello there wrestlefans! My senses have been obliterated with the new taste of many situations! Just one short month ago, we here at Great Wrestling in Hartford put on our first spectacle, and since then the wrestling world has been buzzing like a bee!I was afraid that we would result in a big failure, but everything went smoothly. In a shocking twist at the end of the show, there was a running interference (where one man runs from the living room to the ring in order that he can beat up on a competing man for a reason of plot). This has left many of the 35 fans who graced our beautiful arena with many questions on the tip of their minds. Is there a reason for this betrayal? What will happen next? I am the writer of the story, and only my brain holds subtle answers!There was also a great many surprise in in-ring action, as the Tag Team Titles were decided by way of pin-fall, as youngsters (or perhaps young stars, LOL!) The Hartford Musical Connection ran out with a good victory over two other wrestlers who names I cannot remember.I have been in rapid negotiations with wrestlers and fellow members of the booking team (LOL! This is a joke where I pretend to over-estimate the number of bookers I employ) to write a new show for the next month. This is an event we come forwards to with much in the way of expectation. Exciting match-ups, lovely talking, plot, and no doubt some secret surprising element. We are truly on the train marked 'forwards', and about to arrive at the station of 'greatness'. Until the time when I feel that I am ready to reveal the full nature of match-ups for the next show (as yet unnamed), I will bid you a STRONG 'kalispera', grapplefanatics! <img src="file:///D:/My%20Documents/My%20Webs/myweb6/images/old-man.jpg" alt="The image “http://www.elizawashere.nl/content/5_cyprus/images/old-man.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors." width="255" height="252">--Georgiou Constantanidis-------------------------------------------OOC: I've been busy with some Diary Cube stuff recently, but the first show was very fun to do, and I'm definitely going to work on another one.

kaya · June 3, 2004

cool, for a minute i thought you'd got sick of the idea-since you posted about a split diary in the split-diary thread... I linked this shit in my diary btw (Y), cant wait for the next show NWC, i sense an alliance with Tommy Black and Chester perhaps?

(K)

Emperor Fuckshit · June 4, 2004

<img src="http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/Untitled-3_copy.jpg" alt="The image “http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/Untitled-3_copy.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors." width="500" height="98">HARTFORD WRESTLING GREATS Present... "SUMMER OF WRESTLING ACTION!"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Main Event:(Hartford World Title REMATCH!)'Blue Chip' Tony Castino vs. Yoshi Bin Santos--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Hartford World Double Wrestlers Titles)The Musical Connection vs. 'The Heel' Micky O'Neill & Yuri Father--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tommy 'Black' Black vs. Tribunus L. Finance--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------And...Chester vs. Little Pete--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------And Much, Much More (But No More Matches)...

Good Wrestling Hartford

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