Anime Pro Wrestling Revolution

[stokeriño]

Important Note #1 - There will almost definitely be large gaps between the posting of each show. Look at the first one - I can't be doing that every couple of days. Plus I'm a lazy git.

Not-Very-Important Note #2 - In the first part of what is loosely referred to as the backstory, the numbers in brackets are footnotes that I felt the need to put in for some reason.

Part 1: Issues of Copyright

"Arigato gozaimasu. Shitsurei shimasu ...Sayonara."

I put down the phone and groaned. My neck felt stiff, and I had a terrible headache, but that's what hours of tedious negotiation with stubborn company legal executives will do to you. Slumping forward onto my desk, I placed my head in my arms and hoped that if I ignored the outside world it would get bored and go away.

Determined to prove me wrong, there came a knock on my office door.

"Bleuh," I said.

"It's me sir, may I come in?"

Without waiting for a response, the door opened and in walked my personal secretary Sophie. She was costing me a lot of money to hire; and to be honest she was everything that the agency had promised her to be: punctual, efficient, innovative. Unfortunately her file had neglected to list any details concerning her personality.

Sophie looked at how I was collapsed over the desk and raised an eyebrow. "Strange. I had no idea that desk jobs were so exhausting."

"Murh," came my rebuttal.

She walked up to my desk and tapped her finger on the top of my head. "We do have important business to discuss," she said sweetly. When no satisfactory response was forthcoming, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small whistle and lent close to my ear.

PHWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP~!!!

"Yaaaaaah!" I shot bolt upright as the high-pitched squeal threatened to cause my inner ears permanent damage. Feeling my chair starting to tip over, I reached forward in a desperate scramble to grab hold of the desk. Unfortunately when I did manage to grab something it was not the desk, and only served to add insult to injury as I toppled backwards out of my chair and landed in a heap on the floor.

Sophie peered around the side of the desk and studied my position - half under an upturned chair and covered with the remains of what had previously been my desk plant. (1)

"I'll make a note to the cleaning staff to wash the carpet," she said, nodding towards the piles of earth, water, and foliage that lay scattered across the floor.

"Ack," I agreed.

After slowly picking myself back up and righting my chair (Sophie waited patiently for me to do this), I sat back down. "Right..." I said, attempting to straighten a crick in my neck, "what was it you wanted again?"

"To talk about the licensing agreements we've managed to secure for workers," she said. "You know that if we wish to produce a viable roster for this venture of yours, we first need to secure the legal licenses to do so from the appropriate distributors."

'Yes,' I thought, 'I do know this. You know I know this. Why do you have to explain everything every time?' Another one of Sophie's less-amiable qualities was her requirement to explain things again each and every time she discussed them with me. It's like she were talking to a child, that goddamn patronising, arrogant, self-absorbed...

"Mm-hm," I replied sweetly.

"Well I've completed preliminary negotiations with both ADV Films and Pioneer Entertainment, both with a considerable margin of success" she said, before taking on a decidedly more unpleasant tone. "And how have you done today?"

I massaged my eyeballs. Spending almost the entire of the day on the phone to Bandai Entertainment had been a torturous experience, so much so that I had come within a hair's breadth of quitting and giving up on the whole project then and there. A professional wrestling promotion based around anime characters? Sure it sounded crazy, and there were significant reality issues that would have to be carefully ignored, but the prospect of combining my two most loved passions and making a living out of it was too good to ignore. I had the money to accomplish this dream - it was only a matter of convincing those who held the copyright to the anime characters to accept the money. As Bandai had proved earlier today, it was not the easiest of tasks.

"I got Love Hina," I said.

There was a moment of silence while Sophie waited for me to continue.

"That's it?" she asked.

I nodded weakly.

"No Cowboy Bebop? No Gundam? No Galaxy Angels, .hack//SIGN, or Vision of Escaflowne?"

I shook my head.

Sophie scowled. "You're useless," she said. "A major distributing company and you only managed to negotiate the rights to one show? It doesn't even have many characters!"

"Hey!" I snapped out of fatigued indignation. "Have you ever talked to the people at Bandai? They must be the most stubborn, tight fisted company I've ever dealt with. (2) The only reason they let me have Love Hina is because I offered to pay above and beyond for them. Besides, it is their flagship show, so the characters are quite over. A lot of them have impressive brawling talent too..."

Sophie sighed, too impatient to argue the issue. "Well, would you care to hear what progress I'VE made?"

I sat back in chair and started playing with a pencil. "If you must."

Opening the folder that she'd previously been carrying under her left arm, Sophie took out various sheets of paper and dropped them in front of me.

I glanced with feigned disinterest in the direction of the papers. I knew that what I was doing pretty much constituted as sulking, but I didn't care. "And those are?" I said, turning back to playing with my pencil.

"Those," said Sophie, "are the official documents faxed through by ADV Films, granting us access to the characters of Excel Saga, Martian Successor Nadesico, Azumanga Daioh, and Neon Genesis Evangelion."

Sulking or not, I couldn't help but react to this piece of news. "You got Evangelion? But I thought Hideaki Anno refused the rights for any further franchising?"

"Apparently Mr. Anno is not unsusceptible to feminine charm."

"I really didn't need to know that."

"Quite a coup if I do say so myself."

"I suppose. Excel Saga's got a hardcore cult following, Nadesico has an exceptionally large cast, and Evangelion provides us with some serious star power."

“And Azumanga Daioh?”

“They…uh…well…they’re just kind of odd.”

"Indeed." Sophie reached back into her folder and pulled out some more papers. "And these are from Pioneer Entertainment, granting us the rights to Trigun, and the entire Tenchi Muyo multiverse. They were willing to let them go quite cheaply too."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Pioneer have always been whores for franchising out their products." (3) I sat forwards and put the pencil back down. "Is that all?"

"Well from Pioneer it is. I tried to get the rights to Sailor Moon, but they're in the middle of a bit of a legal dispute with a German company over them at the moment."

"Hmm. Well..." I counted on my fingers. "Seven shows worth. Not a bad start I suppose..."

"I also got a fax from Rumiko Takahashi."

"I thought she refused to deal with us?"

"She did, but she changed her mind. She's quite a nice woman actually." Sophie scanned down the page of a printout. "She's selected ten characters that she's letting us use. Five from Ranma ½, and five from Inuyasha. They appear to be quite major characters too, which is kind of her."

"Excellent..." I placed my hands behind my head and leaned back in my chair. Suddenly, things didn't seem quite so bad. We'd certainly got rights to enough shows to squeeze at least 80 worthwhile workers from, if not more. Besides, there wouldn't be anything stopping me getting rights to more characters once everything was up and running. (4) Once they saw what kind of product we were putting out, they'd probably be more willing to deal with us. Yes, things might just be alright after all...

Sophie watched me with quiet intrigue as I phased out into my happy-happy dream world. Collecting her papers, she put them back in her folder and placed it neatly down onto the desk. She walked casually round behind me, and placed her hands on either side of my black swivel chair. With one swift motion, she flipped the chair up, sending both it and myself over the desk to land in a heap on the opposite side. Dusting her hands slightly, she picked her folder back up and headed for the door. On her way past my crumpled remains, she paused.

"Thought I saw a wasp," she said simply.

She then continued on and opened the door to leave. "See you tomorrow sir," she said, and closed the door behind her.

There was a long silence.

"Hm," I muttered quietly to myself, "I appear to be incapable of movement." (5)

Footnotes

(1) – I’m writing a diary about anime. Tacky slapstick humour is likely to crop up in depressingly large quantities. You have been warned.

(2) – Not that I’m bitter.

(3) – Watch Tenchi Muyo GXP. Feel free to chant “You sold out” as well, if you don’t mind looking like a fool for chanting at a TV screen.

(4) – Or, more accurately, when I’ve seen enough of them to use their characters properly.

(5) – Told you so.

Next – Part 2: Meeting the Roster

Edited July 30, 2004 by stokeriño

[stokeriño]

Part 2: Meeting the Roster

I arrived at the building at 10:03. Despite already being three minutes late for the meeting that I was supposed to be chairing, I took time out to grab a bottle of water from one of the vending machines. I figured that I would probably need it.

The building in question was the new headquarters of the APWR, or 'Anime Pro Wrestling Revolution', as I had named it. Actually it was just yet another standard office skyscraper in the city skyline, but for housing all of the administrative staff it served its purpose. I was paying monthly rent for it - because even I wasn't stupid enough to place a massive deposit on an entire skyscraper for a promotion that might very well fold in a fortnight. I hoped that it would last longer, but considering some of the personalities that I would have to be dealing with, I was feeling a little apprehensive.

I finally found my way to lecture room 5C where, if all had gone to plan, all ninety-four members of my new roster should be waiting patiently for me to explain to them just what the hell they were doing here. Taking a deep breath, I swung open the double doors.

From the sight that greeted me, things were not off to a good start. The 100-seater lecture theatre was almost full, which led me to believe that all were indeed present. However they were far from 'waiting patiently'. A quick glance around the room, and I could pick out some of the usual problem areas immediately.

At the end of the row in the far top-left corner, a bland-looking dark haired boy cowered in his seat as two women squabbled violently over just who were going to occupy the single seat next to him. I physically winced as the agonising screech of the purple haired woman cut across the room.

"I've had just about enough of you and your...flimflamming Ryoko!" snapped Ayeka. "Everyone here can tell that Tenchi wants to sit next to ME!"

"Flimflamming? Why Princess, you cut me real deep," laughed Ryoko, the former space pirate with the distinctive spiky green hair. "Such language for a person of royalty. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Ryoko nonchalantly examined her fingernails. "Besides," she continued, "I'll let you have the seat."

Ayeka blinked.

"You...you will?"

"Yes." Ryoko smirked and hopped onto Tenchi's lap. "Because I'm sitting here."

"OH NO YOU ARE NOT!!"

"Tenchi...Ayeka's being mean to me," Ryoko moped in false woe.

"Ryoko..." Tenchi sighed.

"You get off of him this instant!!" yelled Ayeka furiously. "Tenchi doesn't want an ugly monster like you sitting in his lap!"

"Ayeka..." pleaded Tenchi.

"Ugly??" Ryoko stood right up and glared right in Ayeka's face. "Monster??"

"Yes well you ARE a monster aren't you," Ayeka replied. "You were a mummy for 700 years!"

"Why you little brat...!"

Tenchi groaned and placed his head in his hands. Just then someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he looked up.

"Um, hi, Tenchi?" Sakuya, the pale and slender girl with the ebony hair, whom Tenchi had met in Tokyo, smiled faintly. "Mind if I...sit there?"

"Go right ahead," sighed Tenchi.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!!" Ayeka and Ryoko roared in unison at Sakuya, sending her scurrying back round to her previous seat, whilst they resumed their argument.

On the other side of the theatre, much closer to the front, there was some more commotion, only in this case it was created by a panda's attempt to fit itself into the plastic seating.

"Oh...Mr. Saotome," said Akane sadly, "did someone splash you with water on the way in?"

The panda looked at her silently, before producing a sign that read "I hate faulty water fountains."

"Hah, serves you right old man," chuckled Ranma, who lounged comfortably with his feet resting on the seat in front of him. "You should have bought a soda from one of the vending machines like I did."

The panda glowered. Reaching over to grab a water bottle from one of the Nadesico cast members behind him, it promptly deposited its contents all over Ranma.

Ranma sat up and wiped the remnants of the water from her face.

"Oh yes, very funny," she sneered. "You're just lucky I wore loose-fitting clothes today."

Nadesico pilot and self-proclaimed Playboy, Nagare Akatsuki - having just finished a conversation with fellow pilot Izumi Maki - noticed the presence of this redhead sitting in the row in front of him.

"Well hello there beautiful," he said, leaning forward with his usual sly grin, "I didn't see you come in. Perhaps when we're done here you wouldn't mind joining me for a drink or two. I know a really good cocktail that's sure to - ack!!"

The 'ack' was also accompanied by the sound of Ranma's fist smashing into his jaw, and closely followed by a loud crash of Akatsuki landing a few rows further back.

"Ignorant letch," muttered Ranma, propping her legs back up on the seat in front of her.

"Oh dear!" Milly Thompson exclaimed. She and her colleague Meryl Stryfe had managed to narrowly avoid the impact of Akatsuki's landing. "Are you alright sir?"

From his crumpled position, Akatsuki smirked. "Now that's what I like to see. That girl's got a lot of spunk," he said in what was a worryingly accurate statement.

I gawped at all of this from the open doorway, hesitant to even step inside. Just then a finger tapped me on my shoulder.

“Are they in there?”

I slammed the door shut and spun round. “Yes, yes they are,” I laughed uneasily.

Sophie frowned. “So, you’re waiting out here because…?”

I nervously scratched the back of my head. “I was, uh, waiting for you to get here first?”

Sophie took on an expression of pity. “Oh I’m sorry,” she said with complete sincerity. “If I’d have known that you were incapable of doing this as well, I’d have arrived sooner.”

The vein on my forehead twitched.

“But now that I am here,” she continued, “shall we go inside?”

I dithered for a moment, but then my eyes lit up. “Tell you what,” I said, “how about YOU take the meeting, and then if there are any major problems I can handle them later?”

“I’m not sure that it would be appropriate,” said Sophie slowly, “for a hired secretary to stand in for the owner of the company in his very first meeting.”

“But I really think that it’d be a valuable experience for you…”

Sophie stood up straight. “No sir. I’m sorry, but due to the nature of my contract, there is absolutely no way that I can agree to such a task.”

“I’ll add an extra $1,000 to your salary.”

“$5,000.”

“Done.”

“Very well sir,” she beamed brightly, “if you insist.” She flung open the door and marched into the room, slamming it shut behind her.

In the meantime, I decided that it might be an idea to check out the location of any fallout shelters in the local area.

* * Some time later * *

I looked up from my magazines to see Sophie emerge from the meeting room.

“So,” I asked cautiously, “How many casualties were there?”

“I can’t think what you could mean sir,” said Sophie merrily. “The meeting went very well, and I answered all of their questions as well – even some that I think you would have had difficulty answering.”

I ignored the last remark because I was too busy breathing a sigh of relief. “Oh well,” I smiled thankfully, “at least that’s over and done with. Now I can concentrate on preparing for the first show.”

“Indeed you can,” said Sophie. We both turned and started walking towards the offices. “By the way sir, I’ll expect the cheque for $10,000 on my desk tomorrow morning.”

“I’m certain it was only – “

“It was $10,000.”

“Uh, sure.”

Next – Part 3: The Roster in Detail, and Other Information

[tristy]

AKIRA BETTER BE IN THIS.

*shakes fist*

[stokeriño]

To answer Tristy, Akira is on the list on characters that "will turn up eventually but not in the first month because it's goddamn cluttered enough as it is". New characters from other shows/movies will be added, and the unimportant ones from the existing rosters will just be ignored for the most part anyway. Incidentally, I hope you don't mean the character Akira himself. This promotion has no room for kids who wonder in and then destroy the surrounding city in a globe of white light...

Part 3: The Roster in Detail, and Other Information

GENERAL APWR INFORMATION

- There are currently three titles: the APWR Men’s World Title; the APWR Woman’s World Title; and the APWR Television Title. All are vacant.

- In standard matches, no special powers and/or weaponry are allowed, and will result in a disqualification. In some cases a match may be declared as under ‘APWR Rules’ – in these all special powers and weaponry are legal, but a DQ can still occur through outside interference. Most if not all title matches will be under APWR rules, as well as other matches when deemed fit.

- No-one’s going to die, even if they do use special powers and weaponry. All wounds will be mysteriously non-fatal, so there. People will be unnaturally good at dodging too.

- The roster positions are entirely subjective, and don’t really matter anyway.

- The APWR has one weekly prime time show, known as APWR Unleashed (I suck at names), every Tuesday, the first of which will take place on the 1st of June 2004. How convenient.

THE ROSTER

I’ll first list the workers from their original shows, and then again as one big complete roster.

If you have any questions about who a particular character is etc, please feel free to PM me. I don’t want to put explanations in here because they’d make an appalling clutter. And the alternative of putting up 90-plus mini-biographies is just too frightening to contemplate.

NEON GENESIS EVANGELION

Shinji Ikari

Gendo Ikari

Rei Ayanami

Asuka Langley Sohryu

Misato Katsuragi

Ritsuko Akagi

Kouzou Fuyutsuki

Ryoji Kaji

Toji Suzahara

Kensuke Aida

Hikari Horaki

Kaworu Nagisa

Maya Ibuki

Hyuga Makato

Aoba Shugeru

Lorenz Kiel (SEELE 01)

EXCEL SAGA

Excel

Hyatt Ayasugi

Lord Ilpalazzo

Nabeshin

Watanabe

Iwata

Sumiyoshi

Misaki Matsuya

Pedro

Kabapu

That Man

Great Will of the Macrocosm

Puchuu Queen

TRIGUN

Vash the Stampede

Millions Knives

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Meryl Stryfe

Milly Thompson

Legato Bluesummers

Midvalley the Hornfreak

TENCHI MUYO

Tenchi Masaki

Kagato

Ayeka

Ryoko

Mihoshi

Kiyone

Sasami

Washu

Katsuhito Masaki

Noboyuki Masaki

Tsunami

Nagi

Sakuya Kumashiro

Azaka

Kamidake

Funaho Jurai

Misaki Jurai

Asuza Jurai

LOVE HINA

Keitaro Urashima

Naru Narusegawa

Shinobu Maehara

Motoko Aoyama

Mutsumi Otohime

Kaolla Su

‘Kitsune’ (Mitsune Konno)

Kanako Urashima

Haruka Urashima

Sara McDougal

Noriyasu Seta

MARTIAN SUCCESSOR NADESICO

Akito Tenkawa

Yurika Misumaru

Ruri Hoshina

Gai Daigoji

Megumi Rainard

Minato Haruka

Seiya Uribatake

Nagare Akatsuki

Erina Kinjo Won

Jun Aoi

Hikaru Amano

Ryoko Subaru

Izumi Maki

Goat Hoary

Mr. Prospector

Tsukumo Shiratori

Vice Admiral Kusakase

Yukina Shiratori

Genchiro Tsukiomi

Admiral Misumaru

Admiral Munetake

INUYASHA

Inuyasha

Kagome

Sesshoumaru

Shippo

Jaken

RANMA ½

Ranma Saotome

Akane Tendo

Ryouga

Genma Saotome

Kuno Tatewaki

AZUMANGA DAIOH

Chiyo Mihama

‘Osaka’ (Ayumu Kasuga)

Sakaki

‘Yomi’ (Koyomi Mizuhara)

Tomo Takino

Kagura

Yukari Tanizaki

Minamo Kurosawa

Kaorin

Mr. Kimura

FULL ROSTER

Blue = Face; Green = Tweener; Red = Heel. Yes there are far too many faces, even when I’m being liberal with the definition of ‘heel’. Damned anime.

MAIN EVENT

Excel

Gendo Ikari

Inuyasha

Kagato

Ranma

Shinji Ikari

Tenchi Masaki

Vash the Stampede

UPPER MIDCARD

Akane Tendo

Akito Tenkawa

Asuka Langley Sohryu

Ayeka

Gai Daigoji

Hyatt Ayasugi

Kagome

Katsuhito Masaki

Keitaro Urashima

Millions Knives

Lord Ilpalazzo

Megumi Rainard

Misato Katsuragi

Nabeshin

Naru Narusegawa

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Rei Ayanami

Ruri Hoshina

Ryoko

Ryouga

Sesshoumaru

Yurika Misumaru

MIDCARD

Chiyo Mihama

Erina Kinjo Won

Genma Saotome

Great Will of the Macrocosm

Hikaru Amano

Iwata

Izumi Maki

Jun Aoi

Kabapu

Kagura

Kanako Urashima

Kaolla Su

Kaworu Nagisa

'Kitsune' (Mitsune Konno)

Kiyone

Kouzou Fuyutsuki

Kuno Tatewaki

Legato Bluesummers

Lorenz Kiel (SEELE 01)

Meryl Stryfe

Mihoshi

Milly Thompson

Minato Haruka

Misaki Matsuya

Motoko Aoyama

Mutsumi Otohime

‘Osaka’ (Ayumu Kasuga)

Nagare Akatsuki

Nagi

‘Nyamo’ (Minamo Kurosawa)

Pedro

Ritsuko Akagi

Ryoji Kaji

Ryoko Subaru

Sakaki

Sakuya Kumashiro

Sasami

Seiya Uribatake

Shinobu Maehara

Shippo

Sumiyoshi

That Man

Toji Suzahara

Tomo Takino

Tsunami

Washu

Watanabe

‘Yomi’ (Koyomi Mizuhara)

Yukari Tanizaki

LOWER MIDCARD

Aoba Shugeru

Admiral Misumaru

Admiral Munetake

Azaka

Azusa Jurai

Funaho Jurai

Genchiro Tsukiomi

Goat Hoary

Haruka Urashima

Hikari Horaki

Hyuga Makato

Jaken

Kamidake

Kaorin

Kensuke Aida

Maya Ibuki

Midvalley the Hornfreak

Misaki Jurai

Mr. Kimura

Mr. Prospector

Noriyasu Seta

Puchuu Queen

Sara McDougal

Tsukumo Shiratori

Vice Admiral Kusakase

Yukina Shiratori

EDIT: As requested further down the page, here are some links to sites which (should) give brief information about the characters for these series. I'm just putting them up here as well because it seems kinda the logical thing to do...

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Martian Successor Nadesico

Love Hina

Tenchi Muyo

(nb. this one has various subsections. They'll be in there somewhere...)

Trigun

Excel Saga

(not a very good one. Go to the 'Anime -> Characters' subsection)

Ranma 1/2

(A huge list of people...of which I use about five of)

Inuyasha

(ditto...only not quite so bad)

Azumanga Daioh

Edited July 30, 2004 by stokeriño

[tristy]

To answer Tristy, Akira is on the list on characters that "will turn up eventually but not in the first month because it's goddamn cluttered enough as it is". New characters from other shows/movies will be added, and the unimportant ones from the existing rosters will just be ignored for the most part anyway. Incidentally, I hope you don't mean the character Akira himself. This promotion has no room for kids who wonder in and then destroy the surrounding city in a globe of white light...

I forgot his name, but I'd like to see the general from Akira in it. Lol.

[stokeriño]

I apologise if this is horrifyingly difficult to read.

APWR UNLEASHED!

1st June 2004

Pyrotechnics exploded and the crowd roared as the song 'Evolution', by Ayumi Hamasaki welcomed us to the very first edition of Anime Pro Wrestling Revolution! We were LIVE in the APWR Arena, where almost anything can happen!

Competition for Authority

The arena grew dark as a cold and ominous theme drifted out of the speakers. When all was black, a single light suddenly appeared from the floor of the stage, casting the shadow of the man who stood on top of it in all directions – Gendo Ikari.

Recognising the former Commander of NERV, the crowd booed as he made his way down the ramp. The light followed beneath him as he walked slowly and with purpose, his expression undistinguishable behind the reflected glare from his glasses. Once he reached the end of the ramp, the light in the floor was replaced by a single spotlight from the ceiling. He entered the ring and stood in the centre of it beneath the spotlight for a moment, before the lights came back up and his music died away. The crowd could see the microphone that he held in his hand, and wondered – this man had been in charge of the Evangelion Project, otherwise known as 'Project E', but that was another world to this. Why would he be coming out to open the show here?

Gendo stared out at the crowd, his gaze slowly panning across them as they continued to boo him. Lifting the microphone to his lips, he spoke with his usual self-assured authority.

"This is a new beginning," he said. "A new beginning in what has been deemed the APWR – Anime Pro Wrestling Revolution. This company has a bright future ahead of it, but right now it is young, fragile and weak. It needs guidance if it is to survive the harsh truths that exist in this world. That is why I have been appointed as Commissioner…"

He paused as the crowd's boos suddenly rose in volume. This was not the sort of news that they liked to hear, although their reaction did nothing to faze Gendo in the slightest. Many in the crowd were also sceptical about just why he was chosen for the job, and they were being very vocal with their views.

Gendo responded to these criticisms. "Must you ask? I was chosen simply because it is the only way."

This did not impress the crowd. Nonetheless, he continued.

"My previous roles as Commander of NERV and of the Human Instrumentality Project offer essential experience in a position of authority. My selection was only natural."

He took a moment to push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose while the crowd continued to hurl abuse in his direction.

"I have other business that I must attend to and I do not have time to pander to the desires of an ignorant rabble. Therefore I shall finish my business here as quickly and efficiently as possible." He inhaled deeply. "There are a number of championships that I must address, the first of which being the APWR Television Title. Tonight there will be an Invitational Battle Royal, with the first ten volunteers qualifying for entry. Participants will be eliminated over the top rope until only two remain. These two will face each other in singles action next week, with the winner being proclaimed the first Television champion."

"Now, as for the World Titles…"

But Gendo was cut off as someone else's music blasted across the sound system! The groovy yet ditzy sounds of 'Ai (Chuu Seishin)' were quickly joined by the golden haired girl who redefined the term 'insanity' – Excel!

"Hello out there audience members!" she yelped, bounding out onto the stage as the embodiment of energy. "Yes! Excel's loyal fans are cheering her on with all their hearts and souls," she momentarily broke into a flood of tears, "it's just so heart-warming to hear their cries of adulation,"…and back to manic energy again, "but this is no time to become overwhelmed! Excel's on stage in front of thousands of people, and the show must always, always go on! But first, it's Introduction time!"

A giant colourful sign saying "Introduction!" flashed across the screen. Meanwhile, in the ring, Gendo just stood there and looked unimpressed.

Excel stood to attention and raised her right arm in salute. "I'm the senior agent for the secret ideological organisation known as ACROSS, with the ultimate goal of world domination! I do this in the name of Lord Ilpalazzo…"

A still-image of Lord Ilpalazzo appeared on the video wall. Excel could not help but stare dreamily up at it.

"…who's the wondrous and prophetic leader of ACROSS! I exist only to serve Lord Ilpalazzo, and would gladly cover myself with rancid barbecue sauce and throw myself into a pit of ravenous pumas, piranhas, and assorted scorpions if only it would help further the goals of Lord Ilpalazzo and ACROSS! As for me – my name is Excel Excel! First name Excel, last name Excel, or just Excel for short! And that concludes the Introduction!"

This time the words 'Introduction Complete!' flashed across the screen, accompanied by fireworks, confetti and streamers. It should be noted that with Excel being Excel, she'd managed to reel off that entire spiel in roughly ten seconds flat, so most of the audience were really just smiling and nodding, even though they'd barely caught of word of what she'd been saying.

"Right," said Excel – kind of to herself, though loud enough for everybody to hear. "Now it's time for my big scene! You can do it Excel!" She clenched her fist in determination, and then raced down so that in almost no time at all she was standing right in front of Gendo Ikari. She thrust a finger accusingly right at his face.

"You're usurping authority that is not rightly your own! In truth you are just another member of the ignorant masses that exist only to be conquered by Lord Ilpalazzo! Although ACROSS will one day rule the entire world, we will start by conquering this professional wrestling promotion, and proclaiming Lord Ilpalazzo as its Supreme Ruler! I order you to resign from your position immediately! Forthwith! Forth-hence! RIGHT NOW!"

Excel turned and crouched down, talking loudly to herself again. "Well done Excel you were brilliant! I was a little unsure about the climax but I think you pulled it off really well! And then there was the bit when…"

While Excel was babbling to herself, Gendo raised his microphone and said, quite firmly, "I do not deal with impertinent youths that wish only to waste my time."

Excel leapt up and pointed at Gendo again. "Hey now just a minute you…!"

Gendo cut her off before she could get going. "And since you did interrupt me during my inaugural speech, as punishment I am placing you in a match with Millions Knives, which will take place later tonight."

Excel baulked, to the extent that her features almost melted off her face.

"M…Millions….Knives?"

"Now if you'll excuse me," Gendo started to move towards leaving the ring, "I have more important business to attend to." He exited through the ropes and walked back up the ramp; paying Excel's ranting behind him no heed.

* * *

A brief video aired advertising the fact that APWR would be a weekly show every Tuesday night, thus allowing Excel time to (eventually) leave the ring and make way for our first match of the evening…

Galaxy Police (Kiyone & Mihoshi) vs. Nergal (Nagare Akatsuki & Erina Won)

Before the match began, Kiyone pulled Mihoshi aside for a private word.

"Listen," she said, "I'm going to start this match myself, and you are not to tag yourself in unless it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, you got that?"

Mihoshi blinked. "But Kiyone, I thought we were a team?"

"We are a team…" Kiyone soothed, failing to fully mask the insincerity in her voice, "and as a part of this team your important job is to provide, uh, 'moral support' from the sidelines, okay?"

Mihoshi looked blank for a moment, but then she smiled. "Okay Kiyone!" She struck a bold pose. "I will do my best to provide you with all the support you need!"

"Yeah…you do that," said Kiyone dismissively as she turned away from her.

"You're Number One Kiyone!!"

"Sure, great. Whatever." Kiyone walked into the centre of the ring where she stood facing her opponent from the Nergal team – Nagare Akatsuki.

"My, it certainly is a pleasure to be facing such a beautiful young lady," Akatsuki smirked, "I hope you won't mind if I don't hold back on you."

"Do whatever you want," said Kiyone, striking a fighting pose, "because I've trained in seven different martial arts at the Academy, and I'm going to thrash you no matter what."

Akatsuki shrugged. "Suit yourself." He adopted a similar pose. "Bring it on."

Kiyone lunged at Akatsuki, but he kept blocking her attacks – it seemed that he wasn't without martial art training as well. She tried for a grappling move, only for him to nonchalantly follow it through and give her a snapmere. Kiyone fumed as she got back up; while Akatsuki stood there will an infuriating air of superiority.

"I can see you've got a lot of pizzazz," he laughed, "too bad that's not going to be enough to defeat me." He looked over to his tag team partner. "Erina," he said, "will you do the honours?"

"With pleasure," Erina grinned, tagging herself in and climbing through the ropes. Kiyone rushed her as well, and although Erina was able to keep the upper hand to begin with, the ferocity of Kiyone's continued assault soon had her on the back foot. Kiyone hit a running neckbreaker to leave Erina laid out in the middle of the ring.

"Ooh, ooh – Kiyone!" Mihoshi called out from her corner, "Can I come in now?"

"No!" snapped Kiyone, as she went to climb the turnbuckle in one of the neutral corners.

"But Kiyone, I could really help! Pleeeeaaasse?" All of this fuss from Mihoshi prompted the referee to try and quieten her down…which is never a very probable objective. Meanwhile, Kiyone got to the top rope and waited for Erina to stagger back to her feet in order to hit her with a Missile Dropkick. However Akatsuki took this opportunity to run over from his corner and knock Kiyone off – causing her to first fall onto the apron and then to the floor below. He then returned to his corner as the referee gave up on Mihoshi and turned back around, none the wiser.

Erina followed Kiyone to the outside and dominated the offence. Bringing her back into the ring, she continued to wear her down before eventually tagging out to Akatsuki. Akatsuki picked up where Erina had left off, though seemed to be having more fun toying with Kiyone rather than going for the pinfall. He whipped Kiyone back and forth between the different turnbuckles, eventually sending her into Mihoshi's corner.

"Are you okay Kiyone?" asked Mihoshi tentatively.

"Oh, sure…I'm swell," mumbled Kiyone before Akatsuki came in with a clothesline, knocking her down to a sitting position. He then turned away to pose to the crowd.

An expression of determination etched itself on Mihoshi's face. "Don't you worry Kiyone," she said, "leave it to me."

"Huh? What?" Kiyone murmured. Mihoshi tagged in off the top of her head and stepped through the ropes. "Hey!!" Kiyone spluttered, "Now wait a second…!"

Akatsuki looked back from his posing. "Oh, so you've decided to play too," he said, "Hey, the more the merrier as I always say. Well, with women at least."

Mihoshi did not look merry, she looked deadly serious. "Hey, are we in a match or what?"

"So it's business first eh? That's nice to hear." They both started going at it, with Mihoshi holding her own pretty well. Very well, in fact, as she soon had Akatsuki reeling.

"Okay Mihoshi, I'm better now," Kiyone called out from her corner, "You can tag me back in!"

Mihoshi stopped what she was doing and walked over to talk to Kiyone. "I dunno Kiyone," she said, in deep contemplation. "I mean I was doing quite well, or at least I think I was doing quite well. Do you think I was doing quite well? Maybe I should try it for a couple more minutes and then see how…"

"WATCH YOUR OPPONENT, FOOL!"

"Huh?" Kiyone turned just as she was caught by Erina, who Akatsuki had just tagged out to. With Mihoshi lurching from a mixture of the impact and surprise, Erina flipped her over for the roll-up as the referee counted the fall – 1…2…3! Kiyone banged her head against the top of the turnbuckle as Akatsuki and Erina were announced as the winners.

WINNERS: Nergal, by pinfall (clean)

Mihoshi got back to her feet and looked around in confusion. "Uhh…that wasn't my fault was it?"

Kiyone fumed, barely restraining her frustration. "You…are…such…an…AIRHEAD!!"

"I'm sorry Kiyone," whimpered Mihoshi as tears welled up in her eyes. She grabbed Kiyone by the legs and held on tight. "Please don't leave me!!"

"If I could I would have done so a long time ago," Kiyone scowled, trying to kick Mihoshi away. "Now get off of me!"

"No!"

"Get off!"

"Nooooooooo!" Mihoshi bawled, and held on tighter.

"Why me?" Kiyone groaned. "Why always me?"

She never learns does she?

The blue-haired and thoroughly dappy Captain of the Nadesico, Yurika Misumaru, strolled along a corridor backstage, humming cheerily to herself as she went. She glanced at a poster on her way past.

"Huh?" she blinked, and walked back to have a closer look.

"Tournament to crown the first ever Men's World Champion…" she mumbled out loud to herself as she read it. "Only the first eight volunteers will be accepted…please sign below."

She looked down at the bottom of the poster and made a noise of surprised delight. "And there's still one space available!" She picked up the pen that was hanging next to it. "If I sign Akito up for this, he'll become the World champion and be ever so grateful…"

* * YURIKA DREAM SEQUENCE * *

"Look at this Akito!" said Yurika, handing him the poster.

"Huh, what's this?" Akito it and read it carefully. His eyes lit up. "Wow! I'm in the Men's World Title tournament?"

Yurika beamed. "Mm-hm! Are you pleased?"

"Am I ever! Now I can fulfil my life-long dream and become a true champion and hero!"

The scene cut to one of Akito standing triumphantly with the Men's World Title belt around his waist. And Yurika on his arm of course.

"Oh Akito you did it!" said Yurika. "I knew you could!"

"I couldn't have done it without you Yurika."

"Oh Akito…"

"Oh Yurika…"

* * THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH * *

Yurika placed the lid back on the pen. "There," she smiled, "Just wait until I tell Akito about this, he's going to be so happy!"

And so she continued on down the corridor, humming even more merrily than she had been before.

Lightening does strike twice, for Iwata at least

The doors to the arena burst open and three men walked in through them.

"Ah," Iwata inhaled deeply, "there's nothing like the first day at a brand new job!"

"Oh sure, hearing that from you never gets tired …" grumbled Watanabe.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I'm sick and tired of you following me to every job I get, you rotten bastards!" Watanabe snarled, "Just once…JUST ONCE I'd like to have a nice, normal job without you two being around to ruin everything! It's bad enough to put up with you in the apartment, let alone at work as well!"

"Well, I'd suggest that you should put in for a vacation," Iwata said. "The stress of work is obviously getting to you."

"I am NOT stressed from work!! I've only just arrived and I haven't DONE anything yet except listen to YOU and your idiotic ramblings all the way from the car!"

"Are you calling me an idiot?"

"What else do you think I meant by idiotic, moron!"

"You son of a…"

Sumiyoshi interrupted them before things could get out of hand. "Does anyone know the way to our locker room?" he asked. Well, he didn't say it – the words appeared as subtitles underneath him as he stood there silently. Same thing.

"Uh…" Watanabe scratched his head. "Now that you mention it, I haven't seen any signs or anything that would indicate the way to the locker rooms at all."

"No problem!" Iwata struck a heroic pose. "I, with my superior intuition and navigational skills, shall lead us to victory! Onwards!"

"Are you kidding?" Watanabe spluttered in disbelief. "At our last job you thought you'd found our office but instead you walked in on the women's locker room!"

"Exactly! And since we really are looking for a locker room this time, I can't fail!"

"But how will you know that it's going to be OUR locker room?"

"Oh come on," Iwata scoffed, stopping by a door, "how likely is it that exactly the same thing will happen twice?"

He opened the door.

The entire female cast of Love Hina, in various states of undress, stared back at him.

There was a long silence.

"Uh…" said Iwata, "Erm…"

Shinobu, the youngest and shyest girl in the room, took in a deep breath, and screamed.

Seconds later, Iwata, Watanabe, and Sumiyoshi were running for their lives.

"Now, where were we?" Watanabe panted as he sprinted down the corridor. "Oh that's right, you're an idiot!"

"Shut up!"

* * *

After we returned from the commercial break, we were informed that a six-person tag match had been announced, featuring Motoko, Kaolla, and Kitsune of Love Hina against Iwata, Watanabe and Sumiyoshi. Additionally, it's also going to be an APWR Rules match, just to be harsh.

And it's starting now.

Motoko, Kaolla, and Kitsune vs. Iwata, Watanabe, and Sumiyoshi

APWR Rules Match

The male team made their way down to the ring first, mainly because they were still being chased by the female team, who followed on close behind at great speed. Somehow the referee managed to get both teams set up in their appropriate corners for the match as the ring announcer declared the APWR Rules stipulation.

"Uh hey," Watanabe called over to the referee, "what does 'APWR Rules' mean?"

"It means that all special powers and/or weapons are legal," he replied.

"W-Weapons??" Watanabe gulped, and looked over at the other team. Motoko was practising with a wooden boken, while Kaolla finished putting on some kind of technical gadgetry. Kitsune just stood in the corner taking swigs from a bottle of Sake that she'd brought out with her.

"Oh, stop your jittering," Iwata slapped Watanabe on the back. "They're still just a bunch of girls. Look, that one can't be more than 13 years old."

"You mean the one that's calibrating a targeting computer for some kind of projectile weaponry?"

"Too scared huh?" Iwata casually shrugged Watanabe aside. "I guess I'll have to show you how a REAL man fights against a bunch of teenage girls." He cracked his knuckles. "Alright girls," he said, stretching his arms, "Who's first? Don't be shy now; I'll take on any of you."

"Uh," the referee tapped Iwata on the shoulder, "it's also Tornado Tag rules."

"It's what…?"

"ATTACK!!" yelled Motoko and together all three girls charged at their opponents – and, unfortunately for Iwata, he was the closest.

"Oh-shit-oh-shit!!" Watanabe dived to the floor as Kaolla unleashed a barrage of miniature missiles in all directions from the launchers strapped to her back.

"Aaaah," said Sumiyoshi, and joined him there.

While Kaolla pranced around unleashing random explosive havoc, Iwata stood frozen in the middle of the ring, apparently untouched by any missile. This was not much of a comfort however because Motoko was glaring right at him.

"Heh, heh…" he laughed nervously. "Say, uh, that…stick," he said, indicating Motoko's boken, "that's made out of soft, bendy wood…right?"

"Try it out and see," said Motoko, and raised it above her head.

Iwata gulped. "Mommy…"

Meanwhile, Watanabe knelt down on the outside of the ring with his hands on his head and his eyes shut tight, but he couldn't block out the noise of missiles whizzing overhead or the repeated sounds of hard wood connecting with Iwata's body. Sumiyoshi had tried to crawl underneath the ring, but had kind of got stuck halfway and just lay there with his legs sticking out. Suddenly Watanabe felt a rush of air as someone sat down beside him.

"Huh?" He opened his eyes.

"Hey," said Kitsune.

"Waagh!" Watanabe jumped backwards in shock.

"Oh don't worry, I'm not bothered with the fighting right now," said Kitsune, finishing her bottle of Sake. "I just want to have a good time. Want some?"

"Err…" Watanabe looked at the empty bottle.

"Oh don't worry, I've got more." Kitsune produced a second equally large bottle of Sake from who knows where. She opened it and took a quick swig. "So," she said, more than a little drunk, "did you like what you saw?"

"Eh?"

"In the locker room," she winked, "I was the one on the right in my underwear."

"Wha – that is I – well – uh – umm…"

"Oh there's no need to be shy," she leant towards him, "you are a healthy young man after all."

"No I – I mean – of course I – but then…"

"To be honest," she whispered, "You barging in and seeing me semi-nude? I kind of liked it."

Words no longer came out of Watanabe's mouth. He just gawped, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

"Come closer a second…and close your eyes."

Watanabe gulped, and did so.

*SMASH* An empty Sake bottle crashed down onto his head, and he fell backwards. Kitsune chuckled, and picked Watanabe up. "All yours Motoko," she said, rolling him back into the ring.

Motoko stopped mid-swing. "Very well," she said, and walked over towards Watanabe. Iwata, who was still standing upright due to a very careful series of hits on all sides to keep him balanced, crashed forward like a felled tree, landing on his nose.

Motoko walked up to Watanabe, who was passed out and lying on his back. She held her boken over her shoulder, and placed a single foot on Watanabe's chest for the referee to count the fall – 1…2…3. With Kaolla having just run out of ammunition, she, Motoko and Kitsune returned backstage, leaving Iwata and Watanabe unconscious, and Sumiyoshi stuck halfway under the ring. It would take a number of officials to remove them…and to clear up the mess.

WINNERS: Motoko, Kaolla, and Kitsune, by pinfall (clean)

Perhaps he wasn't quite as pleased as she had hoped...

"AAAKIIITO!!"

Akito flinched. He considered pausing the episode of 'Gekigangar III' that was playing, but instead decided to keep on watching and try to ignore her. He should have known better than to think that would work.

"Look what I've got Akito," Yurika beamed, skipping in front of him and blocking the TV. She held out a sheet of paper.

"I'm TRYING to watch…" Akito began through gritted teeth.

"But Ken," came the voice from the TV, "we can't! It's too dangerous!"

"Dangerous it may be," replied Ken, "but to protect the blue planet Earth, we have no choice! Come on everyone, let's GEKIGA IN!"

Akito swore, trying desperately to see round Yurika. "Damn it! You're making me miss the best part!"

Yurika pushed the piece of paper right under his nose. "Read it silly!"

"Fine, whatever this stupid thing is…" Akito muttered, snatching the sheet away from her and reading it. "Men's World championship tournament," he muttered out loud, "entrants finalised, see match listings below…" His eyes widened, and he glared at Yurika. "Hey!" he yelled. "What the hell is MY name doing on here??"

Yurika giggled. "I entered you for the tournament so that you could become a champion just like you always wanted!"

"When did I ever say that??"

"Oh you don't have to tell me, I already know how you truly feel deep inside!"

"How many times do I have to spell it out? I don't WANT to be a pilot, or a champion, or anything else – I want to be a COOK damn it!"

Yurika swooned. "And when you win, you'll be the greatest champion ever, and I'll be the beautiful and mysterious woman by your side, forever and ever…"

"Are you even listening to me??"

"Oh," Yurika stopped in thought, "but I forgot to read the match listings. I wonder who you'll be facing first in the tournament…"

"Well if you look," Akito hissed, "it says that I'm facing KAGATO. And it's TONIGHT. And to make things even peachier, every match in the tournament is an APWR Rules match!"

Yurika blinked for a moment. "Well," she said, returning to her happy enthusiasm, "I guess I'll just have to accompany you to ringside to give you all the help and support that you need!"

"You'll what??"

"Oh, but there isn't much time! I've got to get ready!" Yurika hurried to the door. "I'll see you out there Akito," she said, waving and blowing him a kiss. "Good luck!"

As the door slammed shut, Akito stood there silently. Scrunching up the paper, he hurled it across the room.

"What a nutbar," he muttered.

Excel (with Hyatt) vs. Knives

It was time for the match announced earlier by Gendo Ikari, and first came Excel, accompanied by fellow agent Hyatt.

"It's really nice of you to offer to accompany me out here like this Hatchan," said Excel appreciatively.

"That's alright senior," said Hyatt in her usual feeble whisper, "I shall support you with all my energy."

"Right, but how much energy is it that you have, I wonder?"

"Well – *cough* *splutter*." Hyatt fell down dead on the ramp.

"Er, are you okay Hatchan?"

"Um," said Hyatt, getting up and wiping a trickle of blood away from her lower lip, "I'm fine."

Excel scratched her head at this, but then suddenly her eyes lit up as she heard the noise of the crowd. "Oh! My wonderful adoring public!" She bounded into the ring and held out her arms in joy. "Yes, Excel's loyal fans love her with all their might! With these thousands of hearts and minds behind her, Excel will overcome any odds! She can't lose!!"

Her music was suddenly cut short, and replaced with that of her opponent – Millions Knives. Knives sauntered out and casually walked down the ramp. He eyed the masses in the crowd with an air of smug superiority, and self-righteous contempt. Running his hand through his short, spiky, blond hair, he entered the ring and looked down at Excel, who still stood there in the same pose as before.

"I was told that there was a particular piece of human trash that I was to have the privilege of disposing of," he smirked, "I take it that you are it?"

Excel frowned, and stood to attention. "I am Senior Agent Excel of the secret ideological organisation ACROSS, on a mission to conquer this promotion! If you stand in the way of Lord Ilpalazzo and ACROSS then Excel will have no choice but to eliminate you!"

Knives yawned. "You humans and your petty power struggles," he said. "It is the misconception that you are a superior species that causes you to obsess with such trifling matters, because you believe you have nothing to fear. Once you realise that you are in fact inferior then you will be able to spend your time worrying about more important things – such as how you'd like to die…"

He pulled out his sleek, custom-made, black gun. "Apparently I'm not supposed to use this here," he said, looking at it with disappointment, "but I don't mind." He tossed it away. "Using my own hands will make the experience more enjoyable."

"I have no more time to listen to this!" Excel yelled out to no-one in particular. "Excel must take the initiative! EXCEL CHOP!" She lunged forwards with a chop, but Knives simply sidestepped it. "EXCEL KICK!" Again, Knives seemed to take great amusement in just watching her futile efforts. This continued until a missed "EXCEL SPEAR!" got her tangled up in the ropes.

"Oh teacakes!" she exclaimed. "Excel's plan is not working as planned! Should she have planned the plan slightly differently?"

"Um," Hyatt looked up at Excel's predicament in the ropes, "are you alright senior?"

"Well, things are not going quite as smoothly as thought," pondered Excel. "Well, when all else fails you must do what is necessary! And what is that, Hatchan?"

"Um, would that be…Plan B?"

"That is correct Hatchan!" Excel spontaneously untangled herself from the ropes, and stood proud and ready to once again face Knives. "It's time for Plan B!" She struck a dramatic pose and held up two fingers as 'V for Victory'. "Utilising ancient skills of untold power, and the incomparable brilliance of mystical techniques, Excel will now unleash the Final Assault, the Ultimate Attack! Yes, with the indomitable mastery of Plan B, I can't lose!"

CRUNCH

That was the sound of Knives' fist connecting with Excel's face.

Hyatt watched on in slow motion as Excel's body forced the mat to make way to it being slammed in a quite unnatural and considerably uncomfortable position a few inches into the canvas.

"Oh dear…" she said.

Knives shook his hand. "Hmm," he mused, "I think my aim was a little off. I didn't quite connect properly." Looking down at Excel's form, he chuckled. "Much as I'd like to continue I'm afraid there are too many other inferior beings for me to annihilate, so I'll be kind and end this now."

He placed one foot on Excel's sternum as the referee came to make the count.

"Oh dear…" said Hyatt again, "I must come to my senior's aid." She started climbing into the ring so that she could break up the fall, but halfway there she coughed and died.

1…2…3 - the referee counted the fall and declared Knives the winner.

WINNER: Knives, by pinfall (clean)

Knives took his foot off of Excel. "That was thoroughly enjoyable. I'll finish you off another time." He looked over at the referee. "I don't think that it's particularly fitting to have inferior humans refereeing matches involving a superior being such as myself, wouldn't you agree?"

The referee was about to say something, but suddenly found himself five rows into the crowd and smashed through half a dozen chairs.

Knives dusted his hands. "There," he said, "perhaps he'll reconsider his chosen occupation." Picking up his custom-made black gun from the floor at ringside, he smirked, before heading off backstage.

Hyatt, now recovered, knelt down by Excel's side. "Are you…alright…senior Excel?"

Excel croaked. "Sometimes you're just not that bright are you Hatchan?"

Typical Asuka

We were backstage to catch an interview with the redheaded pilot of Evangelion Unit 02 herself, Asuka Langley Sohryu.

"Asuka, tonight you've thrown your name in and entered the Ten Person Battle Royal to decide just who will contend for the APWR Television Title next week. The other nine participants in this match include some of the toughest competitors in APWR – Sesshoumaru, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Ryoko – to name but a few. Do you truly feel that you have a chance of winning it?"

Asuka smirked in an attempt to mask how offended she really was. She failed. "Of course I do! I wouldn't have entered it otherwise! This is the best way for me to show the world just how great I am. Tonight I'll win this battle royal, and next week I'll be the first ever Television champion!" She turned to the camera. "And I'm going to show Wonder Girl and The Invincible Shinji just how it's done. Watch and learn from a REAL winner!" She faked a yawn and cracked her knuckles. "Now if you're done asking questions, I have a match to waltz through."

She pushed the interviewer aside, and strode confidently in the direction of the ring.

TEN PERSON BATTLE ROYAL

The last two survivors will meet for the vacant APWR Television Title next week

Participants (in alphabetical order):

Asuka Langley Sohryu

Gai Daigoji

Keitaru Urashima

Kuno Tatewaki

Nabeshin

Nagi

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Ryoko

Ryouga

Sesshoumaru

The ten participants entered one by one, and the referee announced the beginning of the match. The first elimination occurred in just a matter of seconds, as an uppercut from Nabeshin sent Keitaru Urashima spiralling up and out of the ring, as only he knows best. Keitaru eventually flew right through the ceiling and become a shooting star in the distant sky.

ELIMINATION #1 = Keitaru Urashima

'The Blue Thunder', Upperclassman Kuno Tatewaki, advanced on Asuka.

"You look like a woman of great fire and passion," said Kuno, "it shall be a pleasure to fight you in honourable combat – and if I lose, I shall allow you to go out with me." He smiled serenely. "I shall do my best to lose with all my might."

Asuka fumed and, letting out an angry yell, promptly kicked him hard in the groin.

"WHO IN THE HELL SAID ANYTHING ABOUT GOING OUT WITH YOU?!?" she shouted, as Kuno crumpled to his knees in pain. Lifting him up by his shoulders, Asuka tumbled him over the top rope and out of the ring. "Grrrr STUPID BOYS!!" she growled.

ELIMINATION #2 = Kuno Tatewaki

Meanwhile, the demon Lord Sesshoumaru was calmly laying waste to everyone who came near him.

"Such puny opposition," he muttered, "it's not even worth my time dealing with such pathetic examples of human scum."

Suddenly a fist moving at incredible speed came towards him. He dodged to the side, but it still managed to graze his cheek.

"Heh," chuckled Ryoko, "so you only want to fight demons do you? Well I've got one right here!"

"Hmm," said Sesshoumaru, raising a single eyebrow, "Interesting…"

Ryoko and Sesshoumaru exchanged offence, with each dodging so rapidly that neither was able to land a shot. Sesshoumaru started forcing Ryoko back across the ring, and eventually she ended up with her back to the ropes. Gritting her teeth, Ryoko lunged forward with her right arm, but Sesshoumaru had predicted it and he came round to her left side which she had left open. Making the faintest smile at his opponent's mistake, Sesshoumaru drew back to deliver the blow that would send Ryoko flying over the top rope…and probably through a brick wall, if he had anything to do with it.

Suddenly Sesshoumaru blinked – he had been so focused on Ryoko that he had not sensed another incoming attack, and now that he did it was too late. Wolfwood came up from behind him with great speed and lifted him up and over the top rope. Rolling through and landing on his feet on the ground below, Sesshoumaru looked back up at the ring. His eyes narrowed.

"How…inconvenient."

ELIMINATION #3 = Sesshoumaru

There was a fierce battle going on in one corner of the ring between Ryouga and Nabeshin. Nabeshin went for a kick, but Ryouga hopped over him and landed on the other side.

"You're hardly worthy of being my rival," said Ryouga sadly, shaking his head. "In fact, I'd say that…"

Suddenly Asuka leapt off the top turnbuckle and onto Ryouga's back! He struggled to throw her off, but she held on tightly and squeezed her arms around his neck to strangle him. Soon Ryouga began to run out of air, and he staggered back and forth – eventually staggering backwards into a trip from Ryoko, sending both Asuka and himself out of the ring! Asuka yelled in fury at being defeated, and started battering Ryouga round the head in frustration.

ELIMINATION #4 = Ryouga

ELIMINATION #5 = Asuka Langley Sohryu

Ryoko chuckled at the success of her trick, but she didn't have much time to revel in it as she was quickly set upon by Gai Daigoji. Since he'd caught Ryoko unprepared and in an awkward position, Gai had her reeling, but suddenly he was grabbed from behind and thrown out by none other than Ryoko's arch-rival, the bounty hunter Nagi!

"Hey, no fair!" Gai protested from outside the ring. "You interrupted our one-on-one battle! It was like a duel of honour! And don't you know that interrupting a duel of honour is nothing short of really rude?"

ELIMINATION #6 = Gai Daigoji

Nagi ignored Gai and looked down at Ryoko.

"You know I want you and I to be the last two survivors, so that we can finally face each other one on one."

"Hey, same here," said Ryoko, getting back to her feet. "I guess that means we should join forces for now then huh?"

Nagi nodded, and they both took a step back as Wolfwood (having temporarily disposed of the only other remaining competitor, Nabeshin) came racing in. Both women fought side by side to fend him off, until suddenly Ryoko stepped back, and left the other two to it.

Nagi turned and looked at her. "What…?" But that was all that was needed. Wolfwood seized the moment and grabbed Nagi. "Hey, Ryoko!" yelled Nagi as Wolfwood threw her over the top rope. "Ryoko!!" It was no good. Nagi fell to the floor and was eliminated.

ELIMINATION #7 = Nagi

Nagi glared up at Ryoko. "I thought we said that we were going to join forces!"

"Oh gee, did we?" Ryoko mused in mock forgetfulness. "I can be such a klutz sometimes…"

Nagi fumed. "Damn you Ryoko!"

"Haha," Ryoko laughed, pulling a silly face. "See you later sucker!"

However, much as Ryoko may have forgotten, there was still a match going on – with only her, Wolfwood and Nabeshin remaining, the match would end after the next elimination. While Ryoko was mocking Nagi, Wolfwood attacked her from behind and tried to quickly bundle her over the top rope, but she held on and rolled back in underneath. They started fighting again, but suddenly Nabeshin came in with his devastating arsenal of moves…

"NABESHIN TICKLE ATTACK!!!"

With the other two reeling from this, uh, offence, Nabeshin looked to end it now, He threw Ryoko over the top rope, but again she managed to hold on. Nabeshin didn't see this and thought he'd won, but in this moment of complacency he was attacked from behind by Wolfwood. Angered, Nabeshin ran at Wolfwood – but he dodged out of the way at the last moment. Simultaneously, Ryoko (who was currently sitting on the apron) pulled down the top rope to cause Nabeshin's own momentum to send him flying up and over, to be eliminated! Ryoko and Nicholas D. Wolfwood are the last two survivors, and they will meet for the APWR Television championship next week!

ELIMINATION #8 = Nabeshin

SURVIVORS: Nicholas D. Wolfwood and Ryoko

Wolfwood and Ryoko will meet for the vacant APWR Television Title next week

As both Wolfwood and Ryoko got back to their feet and dusted themselves off, they locked eyes and realised what had happened. Wolfwood shrugged, and took out a cigarette for a special post-match smoke. Ryoko simply stared at him, her eyes narrowed in grim determination.

You'd think they would know better by now

We cut from the live image of Ryoko to the very same image seen from a TV monitor. The camera panned back from the screen to show that we were in a low-lit and worryingly spacious room. Besides the television, the room's furnishings comprised entirely of a solitary desk in its very centre. Behind the desk, a man watched the television screen, his expression hidden behind steepled fingers and the reflection of his spectacles.

"Things seem to be going well," muttered the gruff, ageing man standing beside him. "It ought to be a good match next week."

"Yes, the matter of the vacant Television title should be resolved smoothly," replied Gendo. "The first step towards crowning the Men's World champion will begin immediately, and the Woman's World title will be settled in time. It's all proceeding according to plan."

Fuyutsuki looked at Gendo out of the corner of his eye. "You don't suppose this organisation, 'ACROSS', might try to disrupt them do you?"

"They are of no consequence," said Gendo firmly. "They are self-absorbed and power-hungry, and as such their actions are predictable. The plan will continue as scheduled."

Fuyutsuki chuckled very slightly. "Speaking of which – you have to admit, it is rather ironic that yet again Rei is such an integral part of your plans."

"Irony is an ignorant man's term for what he cannot comprehend as fate," Gendo snapped in return. "Rei's involvement is simply because she is the only one capable of fulfilling the role."

Fuyutsuki smiled quietly to himself. He knew there was more to it than that. There always was between Gendo and Rei. "So," he said, changing the subject, "who do you think will be the winner of this next match?"

"The one that best suits my objectives, of course."

Fuyutsuki sighed. "Of course…"

Akito Tenkawa vs. Kagato

APWR Men's World Title Tournament – Quarter Final

APWR Rules Match

It was time for our main event of the evening, and the very first match in the Tournament for the Men's World Title. Akito made his way down to the ring first, accompanied by Yurika…and boy did he looked thrilled.

"Oh Akito," sighed Yurika, "I just know that together we'll overcome all that stands in our way. Yes! The power of our love will shine forth and you'll be the new Men's World champion!"

"Yeah, whatever," Akito rolled his eyes. "Just as long as you're quiet and don't distract me, okay?"

"I'll be as quiet as a mouse!"

"Hmm…" Akito seemed doubtful, and rightfully so, as he entered the ring, where he awaited his opponent.

But before that – out came Megumi! Akito winced and Yurika fumed as Akito's other love interest made her way down to ringside. Yurika's reaction was for obvious reasons…and Akito's reaction was because he knew what Yurika's reaction would be.

"Ahem," coughed Yurika, "and what exactly are you doing out here?"

"I'm here to support Akito," replied Megumi, "he is my boyfriend after all."

"He is not!"

"Well he's certainly not yours," said Megumi, "I mean come on!"

"I'm not anyone's boyfriend…" Akito sighed.

Neither of them heard him. "What does 'come on' mean?" Yurika snapped. "Are you trying to say something?"

Megumi's response was drowned out by a burst of organ music which announced the entrance of Kagato. A large green light appeared in the centre of the ring, and out stepped the galaxy's most wanted criminal. His yellow eyes fell on Akito, and he let out an evil chuckle. "So this is the one that they would have face me? Well, this ought to be mildly entertaining, if a little brief." He glanced at the two bickering women. "Ah, female company, how gratifying. It's always more fun if the spectators get involved."

Suddenly Yurika and Megumi both found themselves being lifted up into the air by an invisible force. "Aaaaah!" they yelled. "Help! Akito!"

Akito scowled. He quickly drew the pistol that he'd tucked away under his jacket and aimed it at Kagato. "Put them down!"

Kagato smirked. "Ah how fascinating, it seems that these women inspire your desire to fight. You must care about them deeply." Yurika and Megumi rose higher. "However I am curious as to which of them you care about the most…"

"I said put them down!!" Akito pulled the trigger and fired off three rounds at Kagato. The bullets hit a protective forcefield and harmlessly ricocheted away.

Kagato laughed. "Come now, what kind of attitude is that? I only wanted to play a game with you…" Yurika and Megumi rose even higher, spinning round and round as they went. They stopped rising only when they were several metres above Kagato's head.

"Now," he said, "I'm going to perform a little experiment. I am going to drop both of these women simultaneously on opposite sides of the ring. Perhaps if you hurry you might catch one of them. Or perhaps you will you will be stubborn and sacrifice both rather than choose which one shall live or die? I'm quite intrigued to see the results."

Gritting his teeth, Akito's mind raced. He had only one chance, one possibility that could save them both – if he could not prevent the tragedy directly, he would attack its source. Dropping his gun, he charged at Kagato with a full-on body tackle. However, just as he was inches away, Kagato held out his right hand and a blast of green energy knocked Akito back right across the ring into the opposite ropes. He rebounded unsteadily and fell forwards onto his face.

"So you choose to waste your opportunity in the face of stubborn unwillingness to accept your situation?" Kagato mused. "Interesting, if not entirely unexpected." He looked down at Akito, groaning in pain on the canvas. "Very well, the experiment is over." He snapped his fingers, and Yurika and Megumi dropped like rocks.

"NO!!!" Akito yelled, but he could not stand up quickly enough. He watched on in horror as Yurika and Megumi dropped several metres and then…stopped, suspended only a couple of feet above the ground.

Kagato laughed. "Very entertaining. You should have seen your face, it was most amusing." Yurika and Megumi suddenly dropped the last couple of feet, hitting the protective mats on the outside of the ring with a thud. "But that's enough games for now," he held out his hand and a large sword of green energy emanated from it. "It's time to deal with the task at hand."

Akito struggled back to his feet, his clothes slightly singed from the energy blast. He looked over to Yurika and Megumi, and was thankful to see they were both alright, if rather shaken. He stared back at Kagato. "You'll pay for that you bastard!"

Kagato slightly raised one eyebrow, and smirked. "Oh my you really do scare me, you see your weapon is useless and you were beaten so easily by the weakest of my energy blasts. What chance could you possibly think that you have?"

Akito said nothing.

"Very well then," Kagato floated towards him. "Since you've provided me with so much amusement I'll be generous and make this quick." He raised his sword high above his head, and brought it crashing down. However, at the last second Akito managed to roll out of the way, and Kagato's sword struck the canvas.

Slightly annoyed, but not to be put off, Kagato swung again, but again Akito just managed to dodge the fiery green blade. He continued to do so, until he found himself trapped in the corner of the ring, gasping for breath and with nowhere to go.

"This is no fun," Kagato frowned. "Do you enjoy making me waste my time?" He pointed the sword at Akito's face. "This is the end for you, boy…"

"You leave Akito alone!"

Kagato looked over and saw Yurika standing with a furious look on her face. "You get away from him!" she yelled.

Kagato gave her a bored look. "Please don't waste my time with your childish whining," he said. "Otherwise I might be forced to dispose of you as well."

However this distraction provided Akito with the moment he needed. Slipping underneath and to the side of Kagato's sword, he grabbed his right arm and slammed it against the turnbuckle. This caused Kagato to open his palm and thus the energy blade dissipated into nothingness. Kagato snapped his head back round from looking at Yurika, and angrily went to punch Akito. Akito dodged, and replied with a punch of his own – an uppercut that hit Kagato squarely on the chin! His personal forcefield might protect him from energy and high velocity projectiles like bullets, but relatively slow-moving objects like Akito's fists could easily pass through. Akito followed it up with a left hook, which knocked Kagato backwards onto the mat. Holding his head, Kagato opened his eyes…to see Akito coming towards him with a splash off the top rope! Akito connected, and went for the pinfall – 1…2…but Kagato created a blast of wind that blew Akito right off of him.

As Kagato got back to his feet, Akito rushed in again for some more close-range attacks. However just as he got there a ball of green energy appeared in front of Kagato and it hit Akito point blank in the chest. He staggered backwards from the blast, but still came running back in. Kagato looked down at him with contempt as he let loose a second energy blast which knocked Akito down onto his back.

Standing over Akito, Kagato shook his head. "Such a foolish boy…and now, the end." Green light built up from his right hand as he got ready to finish Akito once and for all. But just as he was about to shoot he turned and caught the steel chair that Megumi had just swung at him. With a swift backhand he knocked her across the ring, and turned back to Akito.

"I grow tired of this," he said, "I shall bring this to an end now but your misery will remain. Those women and your feelings for them will be the death of you, I guarantee it." With that, he pinned Akito for the three count and the victory. As his music came back on, he looked over to Yurika and Megumi.

"It's been a pleasure meeting you ladies," he bowed, "until we meet again." He then disappeared in ball of green light much in the way that he had entered. Yurika and Megumi were left to tend to Akito and his minor burns as the show went off the air.

WINNER: Kagato, by pinfall (clean)

Kagato advances to the Semi Finals

END

Edited May 25, 2004 by stokeriño

[stokeriño]

APWR UNLEASHED! – 8th June 2004 Official Preview

In the second ever show of Anime Pro Wrestling Revolution things are just getting underway as the race to claim some of the vacant championship gold heats up!

* The first of two contenders for the Woman’s World Title will be decided in a Four Corners match! Who will be chosen to compete in this match?

* Shinji Ikari will face Tenchi Masaki in the first of the night’s Quarter Final matches for the Men’s World Title Tournament!

* The very first APWR Television champion will be crowned! It’s Wolfwood verses Ryoko, there’s gold on the line, and it’s LIVE!

* And, in the main event of the evening, the pick of the MWT Tournament Quarter Finals, as Ranma Saotome takes on Vash the Stampede! With it almost impossible to see either man losing, there MUST be a winner tonight! Who will advance to the Semi Finals?

Confirmed Matches

* Nicholas D. Wolfwood vs. Ryoko (APWR Television Title)

* Shinji Ikari vs. Tenchi Masaki (MWT Quarter Final)

* Ranma Saotome vs. Vash the Stampede (MWT Quarter Final)

And much more! Tune in this Tuesday - don't miss it!

[tristy]

I wish I knew who half of this characters were.

maybe you could link me somewhere which briefs me on them?

[stokeriño]

I wish I knew who half of this characters were.

maybe you could link me somewhere which briefs me on them?

←

I can get some...

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Martian Successor Nadesico

Love Hina

Tenchi Muyo

(nb. this one has various subsections. They'll be in there somewhere...)

Trigun

Excel Saga

(not a very good one. Go to the 'Anime -> Characters' subsection)

Ranma 1/2

(A huge list of people...of which I use about five of)

Inuyasha

(ditto...only not quite so bad)

Azumanga Daioh

I'll edit this to put more in when I find them.

Another edit: Quote from post below this so as not to post whore in my own diary:

Nabeshin, Kuno, and Gai are the three coolest people in anime, PERIOD. DON'T JOB THEM!

Yes. Yes they are. And they will all get their time. Hell, Gai died after only 3 episodes. Giving him a push somewhere down the line is the least I could do.

Edited May 23, 2004 by stokeriño

[GoGo Yubari]

HOLY SHIT. I cannot believe it, but you have actually created an anime EWR diary that's ALMOST worthy of the COMPLETE AND TOTAL AWESOMENESS that was Anything Goes Pro Wrestling way back when. The charicterization was spot-on and EVERYTHING! BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO BRA-VO!

Though, one complaint; Nabeshin, Kuno, and Gai are the three coolest people in anime, PERIOD. DON'T JOB THEM! *Waves around his "Blue Afro Gekiganger Thunder 2K4! sign.*

The fact that you have me marking so hard is evidence enough of your talent.

[DMN in the House]

You know what? You suck.

Wanna know why?

The distinct lack of this > http://www.animeinfo.org/featured/ranma/ra...le/shampoo.html

SHAMPOO > J00!

[stokeriño]

You know what? You suck.

Wanna know why?

The distinct lack of this > http://www.animeinfo.org/featured/ranma/ra...le/shampoo.html

SHAMPOO > J00!

←

Pah. For some reason I have a personal and illogical dislike for Shampoo, which is why I picked Kuno over her.

She'll probably turn up eventually though.

[LUKIE]

This is THE cool...

If u haven't yet, u HAVE to see Great Teacher Onizuka~!

It's the GREATEST anime EVER~! Bar none.

You could have so many different versions of Onizuka. Like Mysterious Ninja Onizuka who is the best~!

[GoGo Yubari]

To be quite honest, GTO never really impressed me, but I was reading the manga rather than the anime. The title character himself is a bit cool, but best EVER is a MAJOR stretch, especially when compared to anime like Bebop and the Miyazaki films.

And on Shampoo; she's okay. Better than Akane (but then again, all the fiancees are better than Akane). I'd like to see her show up at some point since you could easily work a really good angle with her provided that someone beats Ranma. I'd sooner see Mousse around, though. And Kodachi-sama. *Sighs dreamily.*

[Bushmeister]

I hope you actually find some use for the Azumanga Daioh people and not just forget them all Azumanga Daioh is one kickass anime.

[LUKIE]

To be quite honest, GTO never really impressed me, but I was reading the manga rather than the anime. The title character himself is a bit cool, but best EVER is a MAJOR stretch, especially when compared to anime like Bebop and the Miyazaki films.

GTO is 10000000x better then Bebop~!

But then u brought up Miyazaki, and I remember Porco Rosso and Lupin III. Still, GTO sticks out as better in my mind...

Cowboy Bebop... YEESH~!

[stokeriño]

GTO is 10000000x better then Bebop~!

But then u brought up Miyazaki, and I remember Porco Rosso and Lupin III. Still, GTO sticks out as better in my mind...

Cowboy Bebop... YEESH~! 

←

I haven't seen any Bebop, and I've only read the first manga of GTO. However, because of Bebop's soundtrack alone (Tank!), I must slap you.

I hope you actually find some use for the Azumanga Daioh people and not just forget them all Azumanga Daioh is one kickass anime.

The anime is NOTHING compared to the manga version - what do you think I've been giggling at for the past fortnight? The cast of Azumanga Daioh are guaranteed their debut in episode 3, and will also be having a match at the PPV. Don't you just get the impression that Miss Yukari would make an excellent manager?

[GoGo Yubari]

GTO is 10000000x better then Bebop~!

But then u brought up Miyazaki, and I remember Porco Rosso and Lupin III. Still, GTO sticks out as better in my mind...

Cowboy Bebop... YEESH~! 

←

Excuse me for preferring an anime with more than one interesting character. But, okay, perhaps I'm judging two different things, so I'll get into manga; GTO is nothing compared to Ranma 1/2's manga incarnation.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

1) After reading this, all I can say is:

THIS IS GOLD!

I think I have a new main diary to wait for new stuff with here.

Having said that:

2) E-MAIL ME THIS SCENARIO ASAP: Come on, man- you know I've been waiting for this bad boy to come to fruition...

[Guest Korgath]

Heh... Just wondering... Would Ranma qualify for both male and female titles, then?