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International Wrestling Syndicate's owner, former wrestler, founder and head booker, "PCP Crazy F'N" Manny Eleftriou, has decided to step down from booking the IWS. "I have been  f****** stressed out." Eleftriou said, "We are having big trouble right now keeping the IWS die-hard fans happy. We had Derek's (The Arsenal) situation, the Bar Unison situation and many of our wrestlers missing shows due to other events, although I do give them my full support, but I just can't have the added responsibility of booking the shows as well"

Manny will still be with the company, and he will still be doing everything he has been doing. "I want to make it clear that I am not completely gone. I will still be one of the owners of the IWS along with the Cox's and you will see me at the events, but just as we are getting bigger, I want somebody who has their full attention on booking, as that is one of the, if not the, biggest aspects of a wrestling promotion."

Danny Cox of Wild Rose Productions, part owner of the IWS and friend of Eleftriou commented, "I know Manny very well and if he thinks it's good for the company, I support his decision."

Interviews for the booker position will begin on Saturday, January 29th and go on to Sunday the 30th. Those who want more information or who want to schedule an interview can call 245-3256.

Credit: NorEast Uncensored

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Beef Wellington

El Generico

Green Phantom

Kenny The Bastard

Kid Kamakaze

Kurt Lauderdale

Pierre Carl Oulette

Player Uno

Sexxxy Eddy


The Arsenal


Crazy Crusher

DJ Sick

Fred La Merveille


Hell Storm


Dan Paysan

Evil Ninja #2

Franky The Mobster


Kevin Steen

Nightmare Manson




Elsa Bangz (Viking and Fred)

Joseph Fitzmorris (Evil Ninja #2, ALSO AN AUTHORITY FIGURE)

Authority Figures

Joseph Fitzmorris

PCP Crazy F'N Manny

President Seska


2.0 (Jagged and Shane Matthews)

Beef and Generico

Flying Hurricanes (Kenny The Bastard and Takao)

Generico and Uno

The Kid Kamakaze Expirence (Featuring Kurt Lauderdale)

Paysan and Tommassino

SLI (Viking and Fred)

Steen and Franky The Mobster


SLI (Fred, Viking, Bangz)


IWS Heavyweight - Franky The Mobster

IWS Tag Team - The Flying Hurricanes

OOC: For more information on any of the wrestlers I mentioned, I suggest you go to syndicatewrestling.com and check out some of the Bloodstreams, the IWS online hype show before events, and check out some of the promos around the site under the events page. Some of these (especially some of the Beef stuff) are awesome and Peter LaSalle>*

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Official Violent Valentine's preview

A Love for Rematches

At Freedom to Fight last year Viking and Damian lost the IWS Tag Team belts in an amazing TLC match to The Flying Hurricanes. Fast foward to today, Damian has left SLI and Fred came very close to winning the IWS Heavyweight title. Fred and Viking think that the two of them can win back the IWS Tag Team Titles for SLI. Fred has demanded that this match be fair, as the TLC match was clearly in the Flying Hurricanes favor. So this will be an "Old School" match, meaning, No going to the Top Rope and No going over the top rope.

Crazy Crusher returns and has decided to take on his former partner Nightmare Manson and Hell Storm. Crazy Crusher's partner will be Hell Storm's former partner DJ Sick. It is rumored backstage that Manson and Hell Storm have somthing up their sleeve in store for this match. Details will be revealed on the next Bloodstream.

President Seska has gotten international star Black Dragon to be at the next show. Black Dragon, a 16 year vetran, has worked all over the world, In Canada, Japan, Mexico and USA. He has worked with people such as Chris Jericho, Ultimo Dragon, Lance Storm and Christopher Daniels. Now he will work in IWS with Kevin Steen fans should be in for a real treat as these two wrestlers will probably put on one hell of a match.

Plus former ECCW wrestler Ja Jacobe will make his IWS debut as he will take on Twiggy in the dark match.

Expect more matches to be announced on Bloodstream.

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Takao is 'from New Zealand' lukie :P

To be realistic, I will be writing the Bloodstreams for this as well. They are these 30 minute shows that usually come out the week of the big event, and they hype matches and set matches and stuff. There are no matches on this show, so this will NOT be booked in EWR. But the actual wrestling shows will of course.

*The show starts off seeing Nightmare Manson and Hell Storm*

Manson: At Violent Valentine, I take on my former partner and friend Crazy Crusher with Hell Storm and Crazy Crusher's partner will be Hell Storm's former partner DJ Sick. I know you just came back from a leg injury and since you were my best friend and all, you probably think that I will go easy on you and to that I have to say...


Let me tell you a little story, you may remember on October 9th 2004, at CZW Breaking Point, You faced Excess and El Generico in a tag match but it wasn't me who was your partner, no, It was Kevin Steen. I remember the day when you told me John Zandig said that he had a tag match in Philidelphia with your name on it and since we were tagging at the time, I figured that John Zandig wanted me to tag. So I called him up and asked when I should arrive at Viking Hall and he said to me "I'm sorry Manson but I think we will go with another IWS wrestler to tag with Crusher." I was absolutly heart broken, as basically he said to me "No Manson, you are a bad wrestler."

Over time I began doing things out of depression, things I didn't usually do, which made me a mess. Until it hit me, religion that is. I didn't do the Shawn Michaels thing and find religion however, I decided to make my own religion, with me as the deity, The Hardcore Jesus. This is the The Chuch of Manson, I converted Hell Storm here to see the darkness. And of course the preacher, the pope, whatever you want to call him is,

*The camera zooms out

The Motivator Of Madness!

So at Violent Valentine, you will see the Church of Manson in action. Those who oppose us can be plagued!

*IWS Intro Plays and after that we go into the studio where we see Brian The Guppie and Peter LaSalle*

Brian The Guppie: Welcome to another episode of IWS Television.

Peter LaSalle: It's called Bloodstream!

Guppie: I'm Brian The Guppie and alongside me as always is the 'Renaissance Man' Peter LaSalle, and those were some strange words from the now self-proclaimed 'Hardcore Jesus.'

LaSalle: Yeah he's like a fucking Stephen Deangelis or somthing.

Guppie: I think you mean Evangelist. Stephen Deangelis was a ring announcer for ECW and Ring of Honor.

LaSalle: Whatever fucker!

Guppie: *sigh* Anyway, we have an IWS event coming up, Violent Valentine on December 25th, that's a friday by the way, at le Club Dome. But some bad news, Pierre Carl Oulette, PCO, will not be at Violent Valentine because last weekend, PCO debuted for IWA: Puerto Rico at Armed and Dangerous, in fact he went over Chet Jablonski in what I heard was a good match. He will stay in Puerto Rico for TV tapings for IWA: Puerto Rico and thus will not be at Violent Valentine.

LaSalle: Fuck that, those are lies, he's doing what everyone does in the land of the rising sun. Fucking Rico Constantian hobags.

Guppie: The land of the rising sun is Japan, PCO is in Puerto Rico! Did you even go to school? My god... Anyway another wrestler will not be joining us for Violent Valentine, and that is 'The Triple X Sex Express' Sexxxy Eddy. He has some 'personal' things to take care of. However if you wish to buy PCO's or Sexxxy Eddy's T-Shirt, they are availible to buy at Highspots.com.

LaSalle: That was one smooth shill Guppie, high five!

*Guppie goes to high five LaSalle but as Guppie is coming LaSalle just slaps him in the face*

LaSalle: Ha, YOU SOLD IT!

Guppie: Just watch this next clip. Ow it stings...


Damian's no joke

Damian: I don't understand somthing, how can somebody like Beef Wellington, an absolute joke to wrestling, get multiple chances to wrestle in promotions of the US, such as with JAPW and CZW, while I have got none? Well, Beef, I am going to give you the greatest Valentine's gift at Violent Valentine. I am going to break your fucking neck. So you won't be able to go to the US ever again.

Happy Valentine's day fucker.


LaSalle:That fucker needs to quit his bitchin,' I should be in the US I could commentate on Pro Wrestling Monkey or whatever the fuck it's called with guys like Super Mario Drag Queen, and his buddies Disco Inferno and that fucker with the mask.

Guppie: *sigh* We went over this already! It's called Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, and they have Super Dragon, Excalibur and Disco Inferno is Glenn Gilberti! You are thinking of Disco Machine. *sigh* Anyway, we'll speak to Beef later but first, Un F'N Sanctioned is coming up next up, and at Un F'N Sanctioned, we have our annual 'Fans Bring The Weapons' tag team match. This year it will be against The Flying Hurricanes, Kenny the Bastard and Takao or Syndicate de lutte Internet, Fred La Merveille and Viking for the IWS Tag Team Titles, depending on who wins that "Old School Rules" match at Violent Valentine.

There was some discussion about who will get that shot in Commissioner Joey Fitzmorris' office. Take a look at this.


*We go to a shot in Joey Fitzmorris' office both Evil Ninja #2 and Vid Vain are near by.*

Joey: You will make an excellent bodyguard for me, Vid because often people are angry at me...

*The tag team 2.0 (Shane Matthews and Jagged) barge in the office*

Matthews: Joey, we need to talk, I am going to be blunt, we are going to be in the Fans Bring The Weapons match at Un F'N Sanctioned.

Joey: But I thought you guys hated the IWS.

Jagged: Oh we do, but we are on the 2.0.K5 Tour, which means that it is 'The Most Proffesional Tag Team's' quest to win the tag titles in every promotion we step foot in.

*At this moment El Generico and Player Uno walk in

Generico: OLE~!

Matthews: What do these guys want?

Generico: Ci...Ci....El Generico... uhhhh.... Player Uno....uhhh... El Weapono....

Joey: What the hell are you trying to say?

*El Generico picks up a stapler on Joey's desk and starts hitting it against a wall.

Generico: OLE!

*The rest of the people in the room just stare at Generico with odd looks until Dan (or Don, depending on what day of the week it is and what promotion it is) Paysan and Tommassino. Tommassino stares down Vid Vain.*

Paysan: Joey my man, how's it going?

Joey: He's not going to eat him is he?

Paysan: No. You see Joey, you remember what my uncle and father do for this company correct?

*Joey nods*

Paysan: Well, despite all they do for the company, I don't get any respect around here, I don't get title shots ever, and considering who my uncle and father are and if they don't like that, bad stuff will happen to the IWS. Compeche? But I'm willing to forget all that, if you put me in the Fans Bring The Weapons Match at Un F'N...

Matthews: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Slow Down there Itallian Stallion, 2.0 Is getting that title shot. NOW DO YOU COMPECHE THAT SUCKAAAAAAAAA~!

Generico: No! El Generico... Player Uno!

*an argument broke out in Spanish, Itallian and English*

Joey: EVERYBODY SHUT UP! At Violent Valentine, we will have 2.0 versus El Generico and Player Uno versus Dan Paysan and Tommasino versus The Ring Crew Express, Marcos and Dunn from the International Wrestling Cartel for #1 Contendership for the Fans Bring the Weapons match for the IWS Tag Team Titles at Un F'N Sanctioned. Sound good? Good? Now get out of my office.

*Everyone leaves immediatly after Kid Kamakaze barges in*

Kid K: Joey, we need to talk. At Season's Beatings Manny fired Kurt! So I need you to rehire him you just need to sign this contract right here...

Joey: No, get outta here, I don't want to, go complain to Seska.

*Kid K leaves and we see him walking down the hall and barges in *

Kid K: SESKA! You need to re-hire Kurt!

Seska: I'm sorry but I can't.

Kid K: Please? I'll let you ride the stache.

Seska: Er no... I can't it would violate a rule in the handbook, but I'll tell you what, Franky The Mobster is not booked in a match, so I'll give you a title shot at Violent Valentine. Sound good?

Kid K: Yeah, Sounds good... so uh... do you want to ride the stache anyway?

Seska: No thank you...

Kid K: Alright then.... bye...


LaSalle: The Rock & Roll Express? Arn't those old fuckers like, 90?

Guppie: There is no Rock & Roll Express, it's the Ring Crew Express, Marcos and Dunn, they were in Ring of Honor and IWC. But two big matches announced for Violent Valentine, first the #1 Contenders 4-way tag match, 2.0 versus El Generico and Player Uno, who is making his full time debut, versus, Dan Paysan and Tommassino versus The Ring Crew Express, Marcos and Dunn making their IWS debut.

The second match, Kid Kamakaze versus Franky The Mobster for the IWS Heavyweight title.

LaSalle: Why the fuck are you telling them the matches, if they were paying attention they should know anyway.

Guppie: I'm not even going to respond to that. We have another worker making his IWS debut.

LaSalle: Is it Ox Baker?

Guppie: No, it's Black Dragon, he's wrestled all over the world and now, he's coming here to IWS to take on Kevin Steen. Here are Kevin Steen's words on the matter.


Steen: Black Dragon. Bret Como. You have wrestled in the U.S, Canada, Mexico and Japan. You have helped train Lance Storm and Chris Jericho and gave Chris Jericho his first TV match. You were the first person to do a Shooting Star Press to the floor in Sumo Hall. You have feuded with Ultimo Dragon. But you won't be facing Ultimo Dragon or Chris Jericho or Lance Storm. You'll be facing Mr. Wrestling himself and there's nothing more than I'd love then being known as the man who beat the man who trained Chris Jericho. Because you see Dragon, I am the next big star in wrestling. Your time is done. Good luck... Bret...


Guppie: Kevin Steen insulting Black Dragon, saying his time is done, but nonetheless, this should be an excellent match.

LaSalle: What the fuck are they talking about, legend? I havn't heard of him.

Guppie: LaSalle, you thought that Puerto Rico was the land of the rising sun... Anyway, speaking of Dragons. At the last NCW show, Beef Wellington gave us a hint on who his opponent will be at Un F'N Sanctioned, because if you remember, in October, Beef gave out an open challenge to any animal, At the NCW show, Beef played a video of PWG's Super Dragon. They faced once at JAPW with Super Dragon being victorious. So it would make sense to have Beef challenge Super Dragon to a rematch. I had the chance to sit down with Beef and ask him about any rumors about that and the challenge Damian gave out to him.


Guppie: This is Brian The Guppie on Bloodstream, and joining me in this exclusive interview is Beef Wellington.

Beef: I like cake.

Guppie: Of course, now Beef, Damian challenged you to a match at Violent Valentine, he called you a joke wrestler and said that you should not be wrestling in the US, what do you say to that?

Beef: He's just jelous that I have wrestled a bear and he's also jelous that my merchandise is the #1 selling while his is... oh wait... he doesn't have any merchandise... so of course, I will kick his ass at Violent Valentine.

Guppie: Now at the last NCW show, you gave out a hint that your opponent at Un F'N Sanctioned will be Super Dragon from PWG. Is this confirmed?

Beef: No, It's not confirmed, it's circumsised. But I can definately tell you that my opponent is definately Super and Powerful and may or may not be a dragon. Now if you excuse me, I have to go watch Titanic.

Guppie This was Brian The Guppie, and I have not figured anything out from this interview...


Guppie: So that interview was pretty much a failure, but lets run down the card for Violent Valentine.

First off we have a Dark Match between, Twiggy and making his IWS debut, from ECCW, Ja Jacobe.

LaSalle: I don't give a shit.

Guppie: Next we have 'The Church of Manson,' HellStorm and Nightmare Manson with a returning Motivator of Madness versus Crazy Crusher and DJ Sick.

LaSalle: I'm going with the Crusher and DJ Sickbitch because those other guys are just so fucking creepy.

Guppie: I concur, next we have Beef Wellington versus Damian.

LaSalle: I'll have to go with Lil' Black Shorts (Damian) on this one, that guy is more stiffer than President Seska's tits when she's suckin' dick.

Guppie: Next we have Mr. Wrestling, Kevin Steen versus International Super Star Black Dragon.

LaSalle: Kevin Steen will definatly kick that Dragon guy who I don't know's ass.

Guppie: I don't know about that, Black Dragon has more expirence.

LaSalle: Will you just run down the fucking card, this isn't Between the Ropes, for christ sake.

Guppie: We have the 4 Way #1 Contenders match, who will be in the Fans Bring The Weapons match at Un F'N Sanctioned between, 2.0, El Generico and Player Uno, Dan Paysan and Tommassino and the Ring Crew Express, Marcos and Dunn.

LaSalle: I'm going with Pat Patterson's Ring Boys because Pat Patterson is the shit, I mean he stood up against Triple H and all that shit.

Guppie: *sigh* Facing the team who wins that match will be either The Flying Hurricanes or SLI, for the IWS Tag Team titles in an 'Old School Match' which means No going to the top rope and no throwing people over the top rope.

LaSalle: What a bunch of stupid rules, that's going to be one boring as fuck match.

Guppie: You do realize you're supposed to get people to come to the show... Anyway, Finally we have Kid Kamakaze versus Franky The Mobster for the IWS Heavyweight Title.

LaSalle: Franky will retain, because Kid Kamakaze grew up in a big house in Westmount and Franky grew up on the streets, Kid Kamakaze is going to be fucking slaughtered.

Guppie: And of course PCO is in Puerto Rico so will not be at the event, either will Sexxxy Eddy. Violent Valentine is this friday at Le Club Dome. Bell Time is at 10 o'clock and tickets are $20, remember, you have to be 18 plus to enter. This has been Brian the Guppie along side Peter LaSalle, You're watching IWS Television.

It's called Bloodstream!

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well.. firstly it should be Crusher with HellStorm, as they have been teaming a lot lately, not Crusher and Sick. and how about we get Strom and Crushers manager, Nick DuCap! (IRL he's always stoned... or seems like it lol) I'd give him the same stats as Motivator only 70-80 charisma, other then that, it sounds interesting, I'll be reading

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Nice bloodstream... a bit too less Beef and Generico but nice ;)

Would book bloodstream as "dark match" or first regular segment as they show it at the beginning of the show...

I hope you push Beef to the moon ;)

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Generico: Ci...Ci....El Generico... uhhhh.... Player Uno....uhhh... El Weapono....

Joey: What the hell are you trying to say?

*El Generico picks up a stapler on Joey's desk and starts hitting it against a wall.

Generico: OLE!

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Yeah, I'll be reading by default. :)

Promos were short but effective I guess...you can handle LaSalle & Guppie well, as well as several of the IWS' characters, but that card doesn't look that hot...and a FBTW match with one of those four teams? Sounds seriously like a travesty.

Ah well, I'll be waiting for a show. :)

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Awesome. As a big IWS fan, I am sure you will book it good and hopefully take it to new levels. Hopefully you can keep your talent and add some more Quebec indy workers with the odd American worker. Good luck my man!

Oh, and push Dan Paysan. He has nice hair.

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  • 3 weeks later...

well.. firstly it should be Crusher with HellStorm, as they have been teaming a lot lately, not Crusher and Sick. and how about we get Strom and Crushers manager, Nick DuCap! (IRL he's always stoned... or seems like it lol) I'd give him the same stats as Motivator only 70-80 charisma, other then that, it sounds interesting, I'll be reading
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Talk About a Scramble Match

At the last IWS event, Violent Valentine we saw 2.0 beat 3 other teams to face the IWS Tag Team Champions, The Flying Hurricanes. Earlier this month at an NCW show, 2.0 took on the NCW Tag Team, Fresh Factor. During this match 2.0 member, Jagged, broke his leg on a Dropkick attempt. So Jagged will not be appearing at Un F'N Sanctioned. Also earlier this month at an MWF show, The Flying Hurricanes faced the tag team, Ace Trip. During this match, Takao hurt his arm on a plancha. So he won't be at Un F'N Sanctioned as well. The IWS officials told the two remaning wrestlers (Shane Matthews of 2.0 and Kenny The Bastard of the Flying Hurricanes) that if they did not find another tag team partner, but the other one did, they would have to face them in a Fans Bring The Weapons Handicap Match. If neither found a partner, they would both be fired. We'll see who they choose to tag team with, this week on Bloodstream.

Also at Un F'N Sanctioned we finally see Sexxxy Eddy versus Excess. This was one match that all the IWS fans wanted to see and it is finally becoming a reality at the biggest IWS show of the year. Fans should see a big treat when these two finally face eachother.

Coming Straight Outta SoCal, Excalibur of Pro Wrestling Guerrilla will be taking on El Generico. These two have faced each other in a CZW Tag Match but never one on one And speaking of SoCal we will see what animal Beef Wellington will face.

At Violent Valentine, we saw the return of Hardcore Ninja #1. He will face Evil Ninja #2 at Un F'N Sanctioned.

Also at Violent Valentine, we saw the Hardcore Hero, The Green Phantom return and he wants the IWS Heavyweight Title, so expect to see a match with him and Franky The Mobster.

DJ Sick has formed a team with CZW wrestler DJ Hyde to form the DJs, expect to see them in action.

Finally we have a dark match, Cade Sydal and Ja Jacobe vs. Brett Prime and Tristin Hayze.

Expect to see more matches announced on BloodStream

Un F'N Sanctioned will take place at La Spag. Tickets are $20.

Edited by Komodo
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I only hope you'll have as much fun writing the FBTW-match as I had back then... :P

That show seemed kinda flat and not such a good card for IWS...I dunno, I'm just not feeling the rise in new wrestlers, in this diary and in real life. The write-ups are good and descriptive, some more info on the looks of the wrestlers wouldn't hurt though (maybe pics even?).

Good to see The Flying Hurricanes (kinda) in the FBTW-match, I mark out for them and Kenny The Bastard especially excels in deathmatches as a crazy bump machine. Sorry to hear about the injuries though, but maybe we'll see one part of the Extreme Revolution in that match at least? Please? :crying:

Oh yeah, Phantom & Ninja returning! Great! And Eddy & Excess! Awesome! And you're bringing in Excalibur, that'll be nice.

One thing still, I think you should definitely push Damian, he doesn't even have a match for UFS now....:(

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  • 1 month later...

OOC: There is a bit in here with Peter LaSalle that could (although I doubt it) offend people. It's just LaSalle's character, if it does offend you, I suggest you never watch a REAL IWS BloodStream.

You have been warned.


*The scene starts with Kenny The Bastard*

Kenny: At Un F'N Sanctioned I will retain the IWS Tag Team Titles against Shane Matthews and a partner to be determined. I would team up with Takao but sadly he is injured, so I brought in Takao's cousin...

*The camera zooms back to show a wrestler in a Lizmark mask*


*All of a sudden, Shane Matthews walks in*

Matthews: You already found a partner?

Kenny: Yeah, I just said that.

Matthews: But you see Kenny, nobody has ever heard of Nakatshit. But you see they will know mine, because my partner will be a former WWE or WWF wrestler! Meaning at Un F'N Santioned, you're going down!

*Nakatsu and Kenny both stare at each other a bit before the IWS Intro plays*


*We see Guppie standing by himself looking around worried*

Guppie: I'm Brian the Guppie and I am usually joined by Peter LaSalle but he seems to be running a bit late or somthing...

*All of a sudden LaSalle comes barging in*

LaSalle: Hey, Hey, Hey Guppie! It's time to start Bloodstream!

Guppie: Where were you?

LaSalle: I went to go pick up chicks with Eddy.

Guppie: Well did you?

LaSalle: No, but Eddy fucked 28 chicks! Most of them right there in the bar!

Guppie: That's great, anyway, LaSalle, we have Un F'N Sanctioned this month. and we heard from Kenny The Bastard about who is tag team partner will be in the Fans Bring The Weapons Tag Title Match that Nakatsu...

LaSalle: Who the fuck is that?

Guppie: Well it's supposedly Takao's cousin but on a bigger scale news, Shane Matthews saying that he will get a former WWE wrestler to tag against. We'll hear more on that as the show goes on. First though, we have some people who will not be at Un F'N Sanctioned. First we have PCO who is still down in Puerto Rico and the other wrestler not going to be here is none other than Damian. I recived late breaking word before that we were going to go on that he has a match for PWG the day after Un F'N Sanctioned.

LaSalle: No way! Little Black Shorts finally got booked in the US?

Guppie: It would seem that way, lets watch what happened when Damian went to go tell President Seska about this.


*We see Seska sitting at her desk when Damian comes over*

Damian: Seska, you need to sign this...

Seska: What is it?

Damian: It's a contract saying that I will not be here for Un F'N Sanctioned because I will be in California, that's right, as in California in the United States, wrestling for PWG, Pro Wrestling Guerrilla! So sign it... right now... I know Kevin Steen will probably be there too..

Seska: Wait, PWG wanted you? Let me see that...

Damian: You're damn right PWG... PWG in the sweet, sweet sun in California... PWG better not be running in that damn Jewish Community Center though...

Seska: Wait a minute... You arn't wrestling for Pro Wrestling Guerrilla...

Damian: What are you talking about woman, it says PWG right there at the top.

Seska: Oh, it's PWG alright, Pro Wrestling Greenland that is!

Damian: WHAT!? Are you serious? Let me see that...

*Damian takes the paper from Seska, while Seska is doubling over in laughter*

Damian: Fuck... you're right...

Seska: Looks like you better bundle up, because you are soaking in the sweet, sweet coldness of Greenland!


Guppie: It looks like Damian, will not be at Un F'N Sanctioned, because he will be going to Greenland... I would give you a website for Pro Wrestling Greenland, but I have never heard of it...

LaSalle: Guppie, we just saw the fucking tape, we know what's going on, but do you know what I would do in Greenland...

Guppie: I don't want to know.

LaSalle: I'd bang some Greenlandic chicks, that's what I do, bang them straight in the ass!

Guppie: I really don't care at all LaSalle... Anyway, speaking of PWG, we have a wrestler from PWG coming...

LaSalle: No way! Is it that big fat Samoan?

Guppie: No, It will be Excalibur. You know who that is right LaSalle?

LaSalle: No fucking clue!

Guppie: Regardless, Excalibur will face El Generico at Un F'N Sanctioned, let's go to the next clip.


*The scene has Beef Wellington, Generico and Player Uno on screen*

Beef: So Generico, you are facing Excalibur at Un F'N Santioned?

Generico: Ci! Ci! Excalibur...

*Generico punches his hand several times before spinning around a few times*

Generico: Ole!

Beef: What will showing him repeated showings of the Thriller music video Do?

Generico: Eh...

Beef: Anyway, the person I'm facing for Un F'N Santioned lives in Southern California too. In fact, he may be in that Pro Wrestling Guerrilla thing... Hmm... Gorilla... I should wrestle one of those... Anyway, my opponent is very super! So I...

*All of a sudden Dan Paysan and Tommassino walk in*

Paysan: Well, well, well, if it isn't the three stooges...

Beef: OOH! Can I be Curly?


Beef: That's the Beatles you moron!

Paysan: Shut up! I only have business with Uno? Capiche? Player Uno... The 8-Bit Lucha... Do you remember what happened at Violent Valentine? No? Allow me to refresh your memory. You see there was that Fatal Four Way for the Fans Bring The Weapons match at Un F'N Santioned. But you see, me and Tommassino arn't in that match, do you know why? Because you pinned Tommassino, and that made Tommassino very upset. So now, you will face Tommassino at Un F'N Sanctioned...Ha Ha Ha... allow me to rephrase that... Tommassino will break your fucking neck at Un F'N Sanctioned. Capiche?

*Tommassino makes the cut-throat sign before walking away with Paysan*

Beef: Dude, good luck with that....


Guppie: Another match announced for Un F'N Sanctioned, Player Uno versus The Itallian Giant, Tommassino. This doesn't really seem like a fair match.

LaSalle: That's because the IWS is an unequal employer, so get out of here you dirty Mexican fags!

Guppie: Once again, the things this man says is not affilated with the IWS in any way, shape or form. But anyway Kid Kamakaze had a title shot at Violent Valentine which he lost.

LaSalle: He fucking blew his chance, he was too busy arguing with P-Nutter Butter, he was like "You fucking suck! P-Nut! and then Franky was all like "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chokeslam!" and then P-Nut was all like "1-2-3, This match is over bitches!"

Guppie: Not quite, but anyway, lets go to Kid Kamakaze talking about his loss at Un F'N Sanctioned.


Kid K: I came this close to winning the IWS title! Dammit, if Kurt was there, I would be sitting here with the IWS title around my waist. DAMMIT!

*Nightmare Manson, Hell Storm and Motivator of Madness all come over to Kid K*

Nightmare Manson: Kid Kamakaze! Verse 67 of the Book of Manson states...

*Manson takes a book from the hands of Motivator*

Manson: Thou art followers of Manson, Thou art brothers working hand in hand to defeat others who oppose!

Kid K: What the fuck are you talking about?

Manson: Bow down to me, and follow the way of the Manson!

Kid K: Dude, there is no way I am going to bow down to you and your stupid made up religion.

*Manson grabs Kid K by the throat*

Manson: HOW DARE YOU SOIL THE CHURCH OF MANSON! You will see the darkness of Manson, at Un F'N Sanctioned! Let's go!

*Manson motions to Motivator and Hell Storm and they leave*

Kid K: What a quack...


Guppie: So there's another match for Un F'N Sanctioned...

LaSalle: That Manson guy is one odd fucker, he's probably doing the Mary Jane or snortin' the coke.

Guppie: I'm sure... Anyway... At Violent Valentine we saw the return of Green Phantom. He attacked Franky The Mobster, IWS Heavyweight champion. Franky had some interesting words to say to Green Phantom, let's take a listen...


*We see Franky in some alleyway*

Franky: The Green Phantom. The Hardcore Hero. *sniff* I'll be quite honest with you. I fucking hate your guts, you fucking cunt! Why are you 'The Hardcore Hero' and I am the fucking overrated cunt!? I have been busting my balls in this fucking business, working for fucking promoter cunts, and I'm overrated? While you are some fucking HULK HOGAN in some fucking GREEN MASK fucking diving into barbed wire and light tubes and flaming tables and shit, and you fucking BREAK PEOPLE'S NECKS with that Ganso Driver Bomb thing and YOU are the fucking Hardcore Hero!? Now to me that's a bit fucking unfair. I know you are coming off that arm injury, but you see Phantom, it's a fucking hard climb to the top and for me, despite having the IWS title, I'm still not at the fucking top, so what we are going to do is have a ladder match, at Un F'N Sanctioned. And I fucking promise that I will break your fucking neck in two, you FUCKING CUNT!


Guppie: Well, I am not at all looking foward to that match, I think someone is going to get seriously hurt.

LaSalle: Quit your bitchin' Guppie! It's going to be an amazing match and you know it.

Guppie: Well, I don't know... I would love to hear The Green Phantom's thoughts on this...

LaSalle: Say no more Guppie, because I actully sat down with The Green Phantom.

Guppie: What? No you didn't...

LaSalle: Yes, I got with the green, roll the fucking tape!


LaSalle: Peter LaSalle, that's right, not fucking Guppie, Me! I'm here with The Green Phantom who made his return to the IWS ring at last event, Violent Valentino! Anyway Phantom, why the fuck did you attack Franky after his match?

Phantom: Well you see brother, It's been a while since I got in the IWS ring, and I need to make an impact, I need to show the fans that I'm still boss and the best way to do that brother, is to win the IWS title.

LaSalle: Well, Uh... It seems that Franky just challenged you to a ladder match at Un F'N Sanctioned, and he threatened to break your neck, what are you going to do about that?

Phantom: Listen brother, when I was injured, I couldn't do anything. I sat home all day and watched Jerry Springer. I NEED to break bones. And if he wants to challege me to a match at Un F'N Sanctioned, then it's his fucking funeral brother.


Guppie: So, that's another match already added to the stacked Un F'N Sanctioned card. Let's run down the card.

We have Tommassino versus Player Uno.

LaSalle: Tommassino could eat player Uno.

Guppie: Kid Kamakaze versus Nightmare Manson.

LaSalle: Fucking religious fucker.

Guppie: El Generico versus Excalibur.

LaSalle: Don't know them, next question.

Guppie: Plus we have Hardcore Ninja versus Evil Ninja, Sexxxy Eddy versus Excess, Beef will be facing whatever he is facing. Now for the two title matches, Green Phantom versus Franky The Mobster for the IWS Heavyweight Title in a ladder match. Plus we have the Fans Bring The Weapons match, With Kenny The Bastard and Nakatsu versus Shane Matthews and it doesn't look like...

*All of a sudden Matthews bursts in*

Matthews: I have finally found a former WWF...E wrestler to tag with at Un F'N Sanctioned.

Guppie: You found somebody? Who?

Matthews: It is my pleasure, to introduce to you, a former WWE wrestler, Mr. Velocity... ROB BEGLEY!

*Rob Begley comes onto screen wearing a WWE hat and a Velocity shirt*

LaSalle: Who the fuck?

Begley: I am Mr. Velocity, Rob Begley, I wrestled one night on the greatest wrestling show ever made for the best promotion that there ever was! WWE RULES!

Matthews: IWS SUCKS!

Guppie: Well there you have it, It will be Kenny The Bastard and Nakatsu versus Shane Matthews and "Mr. Velocity" Rob Begley in the Fans Bring The Weapons match. Also the IWS dark match will be Brett Prime and Tristin Hayze vs. Cade Sydal and Ja Jacobe. Till Un F'N Sanctioned, for Peter LaSalle, Shane Matthews and Rob Begley, This is Brian The Guppie for IWS Television...


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