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The Razzie Awards 2005


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Guest UmpireAJS

Halle Berry's berry bad Catwoman and several political figures, including President George W. Bush dominated Hollywood's Least-Coveted Trophy ceremonies as "winners" of The Gala 25th Annual Razzie® Awards were announced the now-traditional 24 hours before the Oscars® at the historic Ivar Theatre in Hollywood.

Opening with the splashy production number "Lame!" (sung to the tune of 1980's Oscar® winning Best Song "Fame") this year's Razzie show was a 90-minute parody of award shows in general and the Academy Awards® in particular. Complete with presenters in tuxedoes and evening gowns, bitingly vicious real critics' quotes on each of the nominees and – if history is any indication – none of the expected "winners" within a mile of the hall, The Silver Anniversary of the Golden Raspberry Awards proved to be a memorable comic evening.

In addition to Worst Picture and Halle Berry as Worst Actress, Catwoman also took spray-painted gold as Worst Director (A single-named French auteur-of-the-awful called Pitof) and Worst Screenplay. Nipping at Catwoman's heels, and also "winning" four trophies, was Michael Moore's Bush-bashing documentary Fahrenheit 9/11.

Razzie Foundation members chose to do some Bush-bashing of their own, dis-honoring the current President with Awards for Worst Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role and, paired with either Condoleeza Rice or His Pet Goat, as the year's Worst Screen Couple. Both supporting Razzies also went to "Fahrenheit," with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld swiping Worst Supporting Actor and Bubble-Headed Bubble-Gum Pop Princess Britney Spears getting her second Worst statuette for a brief but hilarious clip in which she espouses blind faith in Bush's policies while loudly popping chewing gum and wearing an obvious (and slightly askew) blonde wig atop her head.

And California's current governor Ah-Nuld Schwarzenegger finally "won" a Golden Raspberry as Worst Razzie "Loser" of The First 25 Years – eligibility for which was determined by having amassed the most nominations over the years without previously "winning" a statuette. There were also categories dis-honoring The Worst Comedy, Drama and Musical of the Last 25 Years, as well as Worst Remake or Sequel of 2004. A complete list of "winners" can be found below.

The Gala 25th Annual Razzies® celebrated both the Awards' having reached the quarter century mark, and the publication of Foundation founder John Wilson's new book, "The Official Razzie Movie Guide". "Winners" were determined by mailing ballots to about 675 film professionals, film journalists and film fans from 40 U.S. states and 15 foreign countries. The Razzie Award itself is an intentionally cheapjack tchotchke featuring a golf-ball-sized, handcrafted Razzberry atop a mangled Super 8 film reel that's spray-painted gold. It has an estimated street value of $4.97.

The Complete List of "Winners":

WORST PICTURE

Catwoman

WORST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

George W. Bush / Fahrenheit 9/11

WORST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Halle Berry / Catwoman

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Donald Rumsfeld / Fahrenheit 9/11

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Britney Spears / Fahrenheit 9/11

WORST SCREEN COUPLE

George W. Bush & EITHER Condoleeza Rice OR His Pet Goat / Fahrenheit 9/11

WORST REMAKE OR SEQUEL

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

WORST DIRECTOR

Pitof / Catwoman

WORST SCREENPLAY

Catwoman / Written by Theresa Rebeck and John Brancato & Michael Ferris and John Rogers

WORST 'MUSICAL' of Our First 25 YEARS

From Justin to Kelly (2003 / Nominated for 8 Awards, "winner" of 1)

WORST 'COMEDY' of Our First 25 YEARS

Gigli (2003 / Nominated for 9 Awards, "winner" of 6)

WORST 'DRAMA' of Our First 25 YEARS

Battlefield Earth (2000 / Nominated for 9 Awards, "winner" of 7)

WORST RAZZIE LOSER of Our First 25 YEARS

Dis-Honoring The Performer Who's Amassed the MOST Nominations w/out "Winning" a RAZZIE

Ah-Nuld Schwarzenegger (With 8 Nominations, including one for 2004)

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The Razzies suck. They stopped nominating the real cream of the crap years ago, and now just nominate the films that strike out in a big way. Sleepover, New York Minute and Cinderella Story were the worst films of 2004. Alexander, Surviving Christmas and White Chicks were bad, not horrible. Don't even get me started on the whole nominating documentary subjects in the acting categories. I know I shouldn't be taking this shit seriously, but as far as trashing shitty movies in an Award show setting, this is all we've got. :P

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