Rebirth of the Manager

[Safety_Rich]

This is really good. Its Different but a good different. I will be reading.

I hope its not lesnar either. Sabu would be good but thats my wishfull thinking.

[oldskool]

Yes, Taboo Tuesday is two weeks early this "year". Live with it.

*****

All right enough of this! Samoa Joe has arrived, and it's time to pay the piper...no pun intended Roddy, don't come out here and put all our fans to sleep with some speech about HOOOOOOOGAN, all right?

So whoever had the bright idea of robbing Joe of a win last week...come on down!

[Ace]

Joe...vs...Jack?

I you Oldskool

[The Future]

Writing as I read:

SABU! SABU! SABU!...Lombardi

...SABU! SABU SABU!....Horowitz

SABU SABU OMFG CACTUS JACK! Joe vs Jack! I think I love you

[Cole]

Great update, it's good to see you're starting to move into the realistic approach that would have to happen where McMahon tells them stuff before hand!

This just keeps getting better

[daileyxplanet]

Great and innovative diary, will defintely be reading more.

[dlane0087]

lol dude i think we all are in agreence that we love you for getting cactus jack vs samoa joe

[Hailtothechimp]

lol dude i think we all are in agreence that we love you for getting cactus jack vs samoa joe

[oldskool]

Joe, Eric, come on up here.

This was odd. We weren't scheduled to be on tonight.

I want you two to watch this.

Vince pointed to the curtain, indicating that we were to look through it.

*****

The oh-so-familiar guitar riff ripped through the arena and the fans got up on their feet to cheer for the Hardcore Legend himself, Cactus Jack, who came with a lovely duffel bag full of "goodies". Look out PWI editors, I smell a Promo of the Year candidate.

Y'know...over the past week, since Taboo Tuesday, everyone wants to know one thing...Jack, why'd you do it? Why'd you come down at Taboo Tuesday, and clobber Samoa Joe with a trash can?

Well the answer's real simple, when you stop and think about it...Samoa Joe got EXACTLY what he deserved last week at Taboo Tuesday!

You see, Samoa Joe and that cocky little SOB agent of his come out here week after week, and they call out people. And those people may not be the greatest wrestlers in the world...guys like the Brooklyn Brawler, guys like Barry Horowitz...and sure, they may not have a stellar win-loss record...but that doesn't stop them from coming out here day after day, night after night, giving it everything they have to entertain you people!

That is something Samoa Joe DOES NOT DO! Samoa Joe does not give it his all to entertain you people, Samoa Joe gives it whatever he damn well pleases, and to hell with you people! Samoa Joe has no respect...Samoa Joe has no class...and if he accepts this very challenge...to face me, Cactus Jack, at the Survivor Series...Samoa Joe will HAVE NO TEETH!

Jack opens up his bag and pulls out the old standby.

BANG BANG!

Edited October 22, 2005 by oldskool

[Ace]

Damn Straight. That sounds like Mr. Fol...Cactus Jack to me.

Anyone else begging for Orton to try and tell Joe how he killed Jack's legend and no matter what Joe does he won't be able to hurt cactus like Randy did only for Joe to lay a whoopin on Orton?

Just me. Ok then (Y)

[Guest H Effect]

I thought the way you portrayed foley backstage was done very well...sounded just like him to me...i love that guy, i love samoa joe...damn i love you!

[oldskool]

As Cactus Jack was kind enough to make his derogatory statements about us LAST week, when we had other business endeavors to take care of....I'll make our rebuttal tonight, when he's too busy to show up!

You see, Jack said last week that we aren't here to entertain you, that we don't give everything we have to entertain...you people.

And he's right.

We don't care one bit about any one of you! We're not here for your amusement and that's something Cactus Jack does not understand! We're not here to dress up as a sideshow and "entertain" people! We're not a circus! It may be Halloween but we aren't in costume, we aren't going trick or treating, because our treats are the suffering of those who stand before us in this ring, and trust me on this one Jack, we don't need tricks to get them to suffer.

You just don't get it Jack. These people...they don't care about you, your well-being, your family. They want to see Cactus Jack do something stupid, like get in the ring with Samoa Joe. They want to see Cactus Jack get his ass handed to him ONE MORE TIME! They want you to suffer, Jack...just like we do. They do not give a damn about you Jack! They want you to suffer! They want the barbed wire! They want the thumbtacks! They want to see your fat ass fly off of something and go through tables!

The only time you're "entertaining" these people, Jack...is when you are suffering.

And come Survivor Series...I have a feeling that you will be VERY entertaining.

[CLOVER~!]

Honestly I love the idea of this unique diary, but I think it is lacking in alot of aspects mostly the writing, it doesn't sound believable or even like the people it portrays in most parts...

My biggest problem has to do with Vince's ability to be talked down to, from the first show the character has openly yelled or sworn at Vince. Who would actually do that to Vince McMahon when just being brought up from OVW? NObody.

[oldskool]

Now, this Joe/Jack thing can't last forever...ideas as to where we go from here?

We never even signed a contract to RAW. Shouldn't we have a segment with Mr. Bischoff that officially adds us to the paid roster?

A very good catch there, we'll do that ASAP.

Um...shouldn't we give him a REALLY good reason to just up and sign the guys that have been trashing people on his show for over a month?

And shouldn't we give a reason why he hasn't ever had us thrown out of a building?

Hrm.

*****

Once again, Cactus Jack is not here tonight.

I know, you're all disappointed, but don't worry! Joe will make sure someone suffers so all you "fans" can get your fix.

Now then...

[oldskool]

Mr. Bischoff....since we have a match with Cactus Jack this Sunday at the Survivor Series...think we could make Joe's match tonight a hardcore match to get in the flow of things?

I think that's an excellent idea...and you guys will be out next!

[Guest H Effect]

that was a good read man...i hope you do a program with ric flair

[Guest H Effect]

Dont tell me another of my favouite Diaries has stopped

[oldskool]

OOC: Please don't bump this. Posts will be few and far between, as I'm busy with college.

The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a Street Fight! Making his way to the ring, being accompanied by his agent: From the island of Samoa, THIS is Samoa Joe!

Joe and I come down the ramp. I get to jawjack with a few fans, who aren't thrilled with me. Stupid marks.

Aaaaaand his opponent....from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, weighing in tonight at two hundred and ninety three pounds, he is the haaaaardcore Legend, Cactus! Jack!

I give Joe some last-second instructions and hightail it from the ring as Jack lumbers in, toothless grin and all.

There's the bell, and a tie up to get things going, nice and methodical.

Jack hearkens back to his ECW heyday, rears back and......slaps on the headlock. Joe shoves to the ropes, shoulderblock leads nowhere. Jack to the ropes again, shoulderblock to nowhere again. Jack goes for a third try, I shout some more instructions to Joe and he follows through; he sidesteps and locks in a sleeper! How often do you see sleeper holds in Street Fights?

Jack delivers a low blow, and zombified or not, a sacktap will break most any hold.

Oh dear, now he's rolling out this way, run run run, shit almost tripped on the stairs. God that would have sucked.

So Jack's now rummaging about under the ring looking for goodies, should I get in there, probably not, no I'll let Jack do his own thing and not get myself hurt, yes, that sounds plausible.

Oh dear, there goes a trash can. That can't be good.

I'll just tell Joe to pick that up. Good work Joe. Now throw it on him.

OOOH that made a pretty sound. Very lovely. No, Joe, don't stick your head through the rop.....OUCH that sounded sick, dear god Jack let one rip on that swing. Didn't know trash can lids were so easy to swing.

So great, Joe's down and Jack's not only in the ring, but armed with a nicely dented trash can lid. Spec-freakin-tacular.

No, don't drop the trash-can-lid-aided-elbow!

BAH! I hate it when people don't do what I tell them to do.

I now jump on the apron OH SHIT he just took a swing at me, he's on to me, gotta run, run faster than the forty-year-old overweight guy with more limps than a retirement home that just ran out of Viagra, oop!

Fuck, I tripped on the microphone wire, shit, he's catching up, roll under the ring, god it smells like shit under here, I'll go out the other side, Jack's right behind me:

Tell Joe to hit me as I come out

I crawl out, motion to Joe, and he nods. Cactus crawls out and OHMIGODJOE! He just hopped out onto the apron and came crashing down on the back of his head with a leg drop! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!

Joe's down, Jack's down, I'm struggling to my feet on the ramp, and I now try to awaken Joe. He does so, and arms himself with a Kendo stick to help himself stand up. I direct him to attack the fallen Jack, but Jack's disappeared. I remember the spot we discussed earlier and I lift up the apron....

PSSSSSSSSSSFSTFSTFSSSSHT

Fire extinguisher to the face! Aaaaaaaagh it burns! Sell it! Sell it like an infomercial, aaaaaagh!

I guess Joe's on him, holy FUCK that stuff is not fun to get in your eyes, get it off me, get it off!

PSSSFSTSSHT!

Guess that's Jack getting a faceful of extinguisher. Although the way Jack wrestles, he may have been on fire, I don't really know, he's nuts enough to pull a spot like that.

Ah, yes, I can see again. I look like shit, if the TitanTron is accurate, but oh well. I'm going to run over there and help Joe out with the beatdo...

Oh no.

Oh dear God no.

It doesn't look all that intimidating in the singular form....but...when you wrap it around a board, it becomes very intimidating.

Now I'm to fall over, oh god here it comes, oh shit I was hoping he'd decide not to do this...

You know, I now see the point behind Axl Rotten's chair having "This is gonna hurt" written on it.

SMACK!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD that is the worst fucking pain ever sweet merciful jesus h holy motherfucking shitfuckgoddamnAAAAAAGH thank god I took it in the back, oh dear lord that was painful....Joe, where's Joe, there he is, finish him off Joe I need help, Joe...Joe this is Eric, hey, Cactus busted me open hardway from that barbed wire, little help please?

Here is your winner, Samoa Joe!

*****

Oh sheesh man I'm so sorry about that, really I didn't mean to, I was just fired up is all, oh my god...

Autographs. Lots of them. Every book from now on. OK?

Yeah yeah sure, no problem, god I am so sorry Eric, really...

Fuck, Cactus, autograph me a book or something, I'll be fine.

That's a pretty nasty looking gash there.

Yeah, well. Made for some good ratings, eh Vince?

Crowd certainly loved it.

Thanks Vince.

*****

[DeleTe]

This. Is. Fucking. Amazing.

I really like the way u write, it's just funny. And it's different, that's a BIG +.

My favourite thing vad the Holly thing, when he stiffed ya:P

Edited November 3, 2005 by DeleTe

[Ace]

Bwahahahaha

The manager gets the comeuppance, Samoa gets the win, Foley goes home happy, Miss anything?

Yeah this diary