Shit Outta Luck Wrestling

[MDP]

After I became the richest man in the world by overcoming the WWE around the year 2020. I have decided to close down SOLW and live my life, sitting on my pile of cash. The year was 2040 and nothing much changed. There were more electric powered cars and stuff but it's not the futuristic Jetsons crap that you picture when you think of the future. 20 years ago today, March 20th, I out performed the greatest spectacle in sports-entertainment, Wrestlemania. I had more buyrates than that of Wrestlemania XXXVI by 100,000. I finally overcame them after a 5 year struggle for more buyrates. The WWE product grew much better than it was back when SOLW began.

I did it with people unknown to anybody. Smarks, casuals, anybody. I mean these guys were nobodies, just trying to break the skin and maybe get a development contract with WWE. These guys are the reason I became what I am today. These guys, deserve a special recognition. They will have it one day.

The world of wrestling came to nothing after SOLW. There were still fans, but each and every day some were forgetting about wrestling. Would SOLW make a comeback? Hell no! Lol, I would rather sit on my money. Don't get me wrong, I love wrestling, but after overthrowing WWE and being in the buisness for 30 years, it started to get tiring and I wanted to enjoy my years left. I started in the year 2005. It was a stupid dream of course. But I sometimes refused to relive these memories.

For the first 2 years that I retired, reporters were all over me asking me questions about why I disbanded SOLW. After that reporters died down to less and less. It came down to none eventually and I got my peace and quiet. The next 2 years of my life were free to roam with my wife all over the world. We visited Paris, and blah blah fru fru places. But it was fun I guess. I began to flashback to the start of SOLW. But I quickly shook those memories away as I rid myself of that decision that I made years ago.

Today was my return back to my lovely home...er palace. It was March 20th. I got off my private jet, alone; my wife was staying overnight with her parents in California. I was 48 and had a night completely to myself. What was I going to do? I didn't know yet. I was getting out of my limo and discovered a young man at my wrought iron gate.

Me: Kid, what are you doing, it's freezing?

Kid: Excuse me sir, I'm sorry. Wow I can't believe its you!

Me: Do you have buisness here young man?

Kid: Umm, yes sir. I have come to do get the real story about your promotion, for my own interests, way back when, the start, not your disbarment of your promotion. I want the behind the scene story, from the guy who started it all. The amazing Aaron Symosky that overcame all odds.

Me: Well, come in before you catch a cold young man.

We entered my palace and he marveled at the site of my front foyer.

Me: Are you coming or not?

I continued walking to the living area and the young man followed me, still awed by the size of my home. It cost me 20 million to build, but it was a big damn place.

Me: Take a seat young man. Let's start with your name.

Kid: My name is George Rivera sir. I was wondering if it would be possible for you to tell me the story of SOLW, from your standpoint. I have watched every show of yours that was ever on tape. I am a huge fan of wrestling. Even though professional wrestling is no longer around, I would like to learn more about your promotion, from your perspective.

Me: What's this for, school, some magazine, what?

George: It's actually just for personal experience. I would like to learn your buisness techniques, because I would like to start my own promotion one day. But I would be enthralled if you could please do this for me.

Me: I don't know George, those days are just passed me now. I would rather not speak of them.

Ring...ring...ring!

Jeeves: It's for you sir.

Me: Thank you Jeeves. Hello? Yes how's it going with your parents? Oh really? Is she going to be okay? Alright hunny, I understand. I will see you in a month, Sophie. I love you too.

Click...

Me: My wife. Her mother has just been diagnosed with cancer. She's going to stay with her for the remainder of the month, while she is treated with kemotherapy. I will not be joining her.

George: Why sir, if I may ask?

Me: Her parents didn't like me anyway, at least not until I became what I am today. They were "upperclass" people. People with a little bit of money that did the country club thing. You know what I mean. I don't really have anything to do this month. Hmm, I could rebuild the old Corvette in the garage. Hmm...

George: Ahem...

Me: Oh I'm sorry young man, I just don't think I could relive the stressful moments of the beginning of SOLW. I would rather just forget them.

George: Thanks anyway sir, it was quite the pleasure meeting you in person. Here is my number in case you change your mind.

Me: Thank you, just leave it with Jeeves on your way out.

Jeeves: Umm, sir! What would you like me to do with this?

Me: Burn it!

Jeeves: Right away sir.

As Jeeves said it, he just brushed it to the side of the kitchen counter, and began to shut off the lights.

I layed back in my easy chair and watched the WWE's Tuesday night show. It was boring as usual. My eyelids came closed, and my last thought was the first day of SOLW.

~Fancy Dream Sequence~

Mystery: HEY!!! Wake up man!

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Me: Shut up man! Go away! Who the hell is it? What the fuck do you want?

Jake Roberts: I know something about you. I know you enjoy wrestling. I am also a fan. You know me, I go to school with you.

Me: Yeah your the dumb jock. So what you like wrestling, you want like a special olympics medal for that or something?

Jake: No, I'm here to start a wrestling promotion. I know that you always wanted to start a promotion but never had the money.

Me: Ha, what makes you think you have the money?

Jake: This.

Me: Holy shi....

Jake: Quiet, quiet. This is money from my aunt. She gave it to me for college. I've always wanted to start a promotion, but was never smart enough to do the financial things that go with it. I know you take all the brainy classes, I need your help.

Me: How....how...how much is that?

Jake: 150,000.

Me: Dollars!?

Jake: No in Lira, yes dollars.

Me: How do you know what Lira is?

Jake: I don't know. It was on after sportscenter one night, something about starving Arabians or somethin', who cares. Are you in or out man?

Me: Alright, I'm in I guess. Nothin' for me to lose. Pick me up tomorrow at Noon, we start scouting talent then. I can't today, Sophie's parents are coming over to meet me.

Jake: Who's Sophie?

Me: My girlfriend for the past 3 years, duh. The one in your secretarial class.

Jake: I don't know. I just took it because of that new foreign chick from Spain. Hey what does you are el asshole mean?

Me: Just pick me up at noon tomorrow.

Slam!

~End Fancy Dream Sequence~

I awoke the next day with a start, in my easy chair. Jeeves had my breakfast ready and I sat down to eat. I was reliving my dream of that first day.

Me: Jeeves, did you burn that paper like I told you?

Jeeves: Of course sir.

Me: Why is it here then?

Jeeves: It must be a mistake sir.

Me: Sure, call him, get him on the phone.

Jeeves: Right away sir.

Me: Hello, yes. I would like to do the project with you. Show up tomorrow at Noon. Goodbye.

Click...

Edited July 19, 2006 by Mountain Dew Plunge

[arwrestling]

I like this, I can't wait to read more. Good back story too.

[MDP]

Thanks, I think I've finally come up with a good idea to start out. Thanks for your feedback, and I am currently working on the first day of the George project, it should be done in about 30 minutes, barring unforeseen events.

[arwrestling]

Great, this should be a good one. It sounds really good. Can I ask how long your diary will be. Will it span teh 30 years or what? Just wondering.

[MDP]

I really don't know. I think it will span the 30 years with maybe skipping a year here and there. Because after getting a Tv show, it will be strenuous to keep up this diary that may go on for years. I currently don't know right now, just kinda winging it. Lol, thanx for reading.

[arwrestling]

no prob. I still wish you good luck. I'm trying to update mine, but I can't get a hold of these peopel helping me with something and i need them before I can update it though.

[MDP]

Beeeep

Me: Hello?

George: Hello sir, it's me George. Can I come in?

Me: Yes, step away from the gate.

Creeeeek

Me: Come in, the door is open.

George: Thank you sir, by the way what changed your mind?

Me: I'd rather not say. Now where were you looking to start from?

George: Well, I'm looking to start on day 2. I know that Jake well documented your first day in a newspaper article. So let's begin with the second day of your adventure.

Me:Very well then. I woke up that day...

~Not so Fancy Flashback~

Me: Wow, he's 20 minutes late. What could he possibly be doing?

Errrrr, vroom, vroom

Jake: GET IN MAN!!

Me: Shut up, your 20...21 minutes late. What the hell were you doing?

Jake: Nothing, where to first?

Me: We need to go downtown, to the gym. There's a guy we need to talk to. By the way, what should we name it?

Jake: Ha, Shit Outta Luck Wrestling.

Me: Oh yeah, that name is REAL attractive. Why not just name it, we suck wrestling? You idiot.

Jake: THAT'S THE NAME AND THAT'S FINAL!!

10 minutes later, we arrive at the downtown gym

Me: Hello, are you Simon Sanders?

Simon Sanders: Who wants to know?

Me: I do, I'm starting a wrestling promotion and I was wondering if you were interested at all.

Simon: Of course I'm interested. What's it pay?

Me: $5,000 per appearance.

I gave Jake a look and he stepped in front of me.

Jake: Look pal, we're not giving you a cent until you show us what you got.

Simon: Ok tough guy, get in the ring.

So Jake and Simon are in the ring and I'm on the outside watching. Hey look, a bell.

Ding!

-Jake Roberts vs. Simon Sanders-

Jake and Smon lock up and Simon throws Jake across the ring. Jake gets up and charges Simon. Simon moves and lets Jake hit the ring post. Jake comes bouncing out into a powerslam. Ouch, that had to hurt. Simon picks Jake up and, suplex. Simon mounts Jake and lays some haymakers to his face. He picks him up and hits a fallaway slam. Simon looks like he wants to end it. Psycho Snap! 1..2..3!!! Jake lost, haha. Nice to see the big jock get his ass handed to him.

Winner: Mr. Simon

Me: So, Jake. You think he's any good at all?

Jake: Ow... Huff...huff....huff

Me: Little trouble breathing there buddy.

Jake: Yeah...little bit. He's good...hire him. Damn.

Me: Simon, your hired. Be at my house tomorrow at around 3 for a meeting of all wrestlers and staff.

Simon Sanders is a guy that has decent overness at 15. He has good charisma with some technical skill. He lived a horrible life when his mother killed his father for cheating on her. She went to jail and Simon went to foster care. He eventually became insane and visited a mental institution. He got out 3 years later good as new. Therefore, we shll recreate his insane period. Meet the psychotic, sadistic, sinister, Mr. Simon.

5 minutes later, we are back in the car

Jake: Man, you drive, my neck is killing me.

Me: Ok, we're going to that Italian restuarant on 6th.

We arrive at the Italian restuarant on 6th. Jake and I walk in and meet our prospect. Mr. Anthony Bartlett Jr. He was a skinny guy. Nice muscles though, for his size. About 5'8''.

Anthony: Can I help you boys?

Jake: Yeah, we know you can wrestle, wanna join up with SOLW?

Me: Jake, shut up. Let me handle the business end. Mr. Bartlett, I was wondering if you would interested in coming in to my wrestling promotion that I have just started.

Anthony: I don't know. I have to run some things with the family, I mean, I am the boss and all.

Me: Well, it's only one show a month, pays $5,000. How 'bout it?

Anthony: Ok, I'll do it then. Where is it?

I handed him my information and told him 3 tomorrow.

Anthony Bartlett Jr. is the mob boss of western Pennsylvania. He has lots of money and is 100% italian. He is an evil buisnessman who won't hesitate to kill, or bodyslam. Decent overness and lots of demanded charisma. He is technically sound after capturing a japanese wrestler for not paying his gmbling debts, and made the man spar with him. Meet Tony Scarcelli.

The sign outside the building read:

Logwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy.

I walked in, alone. Jake was scared of this place. I knocked on the door and was answered by a caped crusader.

Me: Hello, is there a, Julian here?

Mysterious Guy: We know noone of that name. Go away.

Me: A Julian "The Warlock"?

Mysterious Guy: Ah, yes, The Warlock. Why didn't you say so? Come in.

I walked in to a decorated room and a strange fellow running around like a total idiot. Blasting people wth his "wand" (a pointy stick from outside)

Me: Excuse me Mr. Warlock. Would you like to join my wrestling promotion?

Julian: Can Baxter come?

Me: Who the hell is Baxter?

Julian: My wand.

Me: Yeah...sure. Whatever fruitcake. Be at my place tomorrow at three.

Julian The Warlock is a fruity fellow. He is 22 and thinks he is a dungeons and dragons character. He is obsessed with being a Warlock. He thinks he has magical powers and obviously, people believe him. He also like voodoo. What a nut. Meet The Warlock.

As I am walking outside I see a guy in blue underwear, blue boots, long hair, waving a flag, and a beard. JIM DUGGAN!! I must have spoken outloud because...

Man: Actually it's Danny Duggan. I am a wrestler much better than my father, Jim.

Me: You're his son?

Danny: Umm...not really. But he will adopt me someday.

Me: Hey, you wanna come wrestle for me?

Danny Duggan grew up watching and idolizing Jim Duggan. At the age of five he began to act just like him. He still acts that way today. I figured it would be cool to have a Jim Duggan look-a-like. Maybe it would attract some people. Or not. Meet 'Hatchet' Dan Duggan.

I figured that was enough for today. I was wiped and had a date tonight with Sophie. We were going to the circus. I didn't like it, but she was all into it. So yeah. Off we went.

Upon arriving we took our seats and watched the show. After it was over, Sophie ran into some old friends and started talking to them. I was looking around and saw one of the clowns backstage wrestling someone. He was pretty good. I walked back and asked him if he was interested in Shit Outta Luck Wrestling. He was, surprise.

Scar grew up and legally changed his name to Scar. Because of the scar across his face. He was in a fight and the kid pulled out a knife, and swiped him in the face. Scar is a recovering drug addict and needed money so he took the job as a clown. He was actually a torchered soul, a very evil one. Meet Fluffles.

I slept in the next day. I had another date at 1 with Sophie. Medieval Times. We got our seats in the blue section. Yay, blue knight! They gave me my chicken and I asked for a fork.

Me: Excuse me, my dear wench, could I please have a fork.

Wench: Here at Medieval Times we don't have silverware. Now would you like a refill of that Pepsi?

Me: They had pepsi, but no silverware? Wow.

The blue knight was in it at the end and he was facing the red knight. After their weapons were discarded, the blue knight pulled out some wrestling moves. The show was over after the victory of the blue knight. I caught up with him after the show.

Me: Hello, do you know how to wrestle?

Blue Knight: I do, why?

I held up my SOLW sign and he nodded. Today at 3 I told him.

He was a guy who trained a little as a wrestler. But couldn't make it, so got this job. He brought his wife, Princess Jade, and they both came into my promotion. The blue knight had some speed. Hired for $4,000. His wife for $2,000. His wife had some charisma. I renamed the "princess" to Ms. Jade. The blue knight gave me his wrestling name. Meet X-Cal.

Well, I set up some food for the meeting and await my guests.

Edited July 19, 2006 by Mountain Dew Plunge

[MDP]

I also managed to place a few calls to staff workers. Johnny Guy, a ref, and Phatdrew, an announcer. Looks like it's time for the meeting. Mr. Simon arrives first and takes a seat in the front row. The other wrestlers arrive, and so does Johnny Guy and Phatdrew. Damn, Phatdrew is...fat! Everyone else is here. Let's get started.

Me: Welcome everyone. This is Shit Outta Luck Wrestling. Here, we have no facilities. We do have a gym however. But we sold that for the cash. $50,000. That brings our SOLW account to $200,000. Here's how much everyone is being paid.

Wrestlers:

Mr. Simon: $5,000

Fluffles: $3,000

Hatchet Dan Duggan: $4,000

Ms. Jade: $2,000

The Warlock: $5,000

Tony Scarcelli: $5,000

X-Cal: $4,000

The Staff:

Phatdrew: $6,000

Johnny Guy: $8,000

Me: All in all, it'll cost $42,000 a month. At that rate, we will go under in around 6 months. So what do we need?

I was thinking everyone would join in screaming. Didn't happen.

Me: SPONSORS!! That's right, we need sponsors. I figured we would go after 4 of 'em. It will go to about $21,000. That means, we'll lose only $21,000 a month!!! That means, we'll only go under in around 20 months! So, maybe, if we all try hard enough, we'll make some money some where there! Woohoo. Me and Jake here will be making the card and name the first event. Thank you, and I will call you all. Meeting adjourned.

Edited July 19, 2006 by Mountain Dew Plunge

[bolleje]

Very nice start... Good to see a new fed with strange gimmicks... and good background story! (Y)

Some of the characters look interesting, I'll be reading...

[arwrestling]

I think its cool teh way you made the characters out of real wrestlers but gave them a different story. That's awesome. One thing confuses me though. Did you say Jake Roberts was in college or High School with you? I mean, what year is this taking place? Is it teh same as The Snake?

[MDP]

No, it's actually a coincedence that I picked the name Jake Roberts, it happens in my senior year. And the year is 2005. I just got back from my friends house, and should put up the card, and maybe write the show today, barring football and all. Thanx for reading.

[MDP]

Me: Jake...Jake...JAKE!!

Jake: What, what what?

Me: Get off my kitchen table you jackass, you fell asleep.

Jake: Oh, uh, my bad man. Dude, why is there a cheeto in my pants?

Me: Like I would know. We have to name the first event crackhead.

Jake: Shut up! How'd you know I did crack?

Me: I didn't. Get off the stuff. Now think of a name for the first event.

Jake: How 'bout, I just blew ass.

Me: What kind of name is.....ewww! You sick hog!

Jake: Heh, heh. I don't know, you got any ideas?

Knock, knock, knock.

Me: It's open! Oh, hey Sophie what's up?

Sophie: Wow, don't even tell me about your wrestling promotion. You know how good I am at stuff like this. But thanks for telling me.

Me: Sorry, I didn't think you would be interested. Right now we have a few things to take care of.

1. Name the first event.

2. Make the card for the first event.

3. Get a ring.

4. Get a championship belt.

Me: Ok, I will handle the ring, and belt. Sophie, you and Jake and can work on the name and the card.

So, I was in need of a ring. Where could I find such a thing? While I was asking myself this queston, a big neon sign flashed, wrestling rings here. Did I see it? NO! Of course not. So I just kept strolling down the street. I couldn't find any rings of any kind. At least that I could afford. Time for number 4, getting a belt. I set out on the trail once again. Ahha, an engraver. I wonder if he has any belts. Ahha, a belt!! Ahha!! It's $100,000. Ahha, hell no! Damn, too expensive. Another one...holy shit...that thing...looks like shit. It's $1,000 so naturally, I bought it. I got the guy to put `Shit Outta Luck Wrestling Heavyweight Championship' on it. So I had that taken care of. Time to go down to the salvation army. Ahha, mattreses for homeless people. Ok...1...2...3...4...5....6....7...yeah that should cover it. I rented a big truck, piled 'em on, and stole 'em! Ok, I had some rope in my garage and tadah!!! Yay a great ring...actually it looked like shit, but hey, oh well.

When I got back, Sophie named the event and had the card ready.

The Card For SOLW: Kick Start.

SOLW Heavyweight Championship Match

TBD vs. TBD vs. TBD

Who has what it takes to become the first SOLW champion ever?

SOLW Heavyweight Championship Qualifyer

Fluffles vs. Tony Scarcelli

The evil clown will try to make it into the championship match. Can he do it against "The Boss"?

SOLW Heavyweight Championship Qualifyer

Mr. Simon vs. The Warlock

The wizard takes on the insane one, who's mind can win this match-up?

SOLW Heavyweight Championship Qualifyer

X-Cal w/ Ms. Jade vs. Hatchet Dan Duggan

The faithful knight and his horse, take on a man who thinks he is Jim Duggan's son.

Plus, Ms. Jade and Mr. Simon have something to say.

Edited July 19, 2006 by Mountain Dew Plunge

[bolleje]

OK... prediction time (hehe, and there has not even yet been a match)

Fluffles d/ Tony Scarcelli

Mr. Simon d/ The Warlock

X-Cal d/ Dan Duggan

Mr.Simon d/ X-Cal & Fluffles

[MDP]

Sophie: Hey! Aaron wake up!

Me: Go away!

Sophie: We have a show today! Wake up!

Me: Jesus Christ, what time is it?

Sophie: It's 4 o'clock.

Me: FOUR!!!!

Sophie: Yeah and we still need some chairs.

Me: Just grab the ones from my kitchen table.

Sophie: Ok, get out of bed now! I'm dumping you out of the bed, get up!

Boom

Sophie: GET UP, THIS IS YOUR BUISNESS NOW GET OUT THERE YOU LAZY ASS!!!!

Me: Fine!

Sophie: Leave your sheets on the bed idiot.

Me: Gee I love you too.

The wrestlers show up about 30 minutes early and start stretching out. I remind everyone who's going over tonight and to put on the best show they can. The fans, all 5 of them, showed up at approximately 7:00 p.m. I know that this will be our far worst show, but you have to start some where.

Edited July 19, 2006 by Mountain Dew Plunge

[MDP]

Scroll down for quick results.

SOLW: Kick Start

Match One

-Tony 'The Boss' Scarcelli vs. Fluffles-

Tony comes out in a big trenchcoat, all in black. He gets in the ring and waits for the insane clown that he is about to face. Fluffles music hits and he comes out juggling on a unicycle. He looks a lot like Stephen King's It. He gets in the ring and offers his hand to Tony. Tony, although skeptical, goes for the handshake and bzzzz. Tony just got shocked. Fluffles rolls on the floor laughing. Tony runs at him and starts stomping away. Tony gets on top of Fluffles, and chokes him out. Johnny Guy calls for a break after four seconds. Tony picks Fluffles off the canvas and gets him on his shoulders. Samoan Drop by Tony. 1...2...No, kickout by Fluffles. Tony looks frustrated and picks Fluffles up. Fluffles scores a kick to the mid-section. Fluffles steps back and taps his flower. The flower does nothing. Fluffles is struggling with his flower now and can't get it to work. Tony sees his opportunity and picks Fluffles up high. Mob Drop!! 1..2..3! Tony wins it. Tony is our first entrant into the SOLW Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match!

Winner: Tony 'The Boss' Scarcelli

We stay on our roll of wrestling as Mr. Simon's crazy music hits.

Match Two

-Mr. Simon vs. The Warlock-

Simon is in the ring waiting for The Warlock patiently. Warlock comes out and it looks like he's floating. He comes out with his stick...er, Baxter...wow, how's he floating? Ahha, he trips and falls on his face. He was on top of a little remote controlled car. Haha, what a nerd. Warlock gets in the ring and Mr. Simon wastes no time getting to work on him. Simon throws Warlock into the ropes and slams him with a monster clothesline. Warlock gets up quick and he does it again. Warlock jumps up and is a gluton for punishment as Simon powerslams him. 1...2..No, kickout. Warlock rushes to the side of the ring and grabs his wand. He points it at Simon and starts shouting giberish. Simon looks at the crowd and grabs The Warlock's wand. He snaps it with one hand. Warlock gets on his knees and grabs the pieces of his wand. He starts to cry when Simon goes off the ropes and baseball slides him in the face. Warlock gets up in a rage and starts swinging wildly at Simon. Simon grabs Warlock's hand and twists it. Warlock falls again and starts crying like a baby. Smon picks him up, set him up on top and Psycho Snap! 1...2...3! Simon wins his spot in the finals.

Winner: Mr. Simon

The last qualifying match-up is coming up after this quick intermission. (Actually, X-Cal's horse isn't here yet so we have to wait for that)

Match Three

-X-Cal w/ Ms. Jade vs. Hatchet Dan Duggan-

X-Cal rides in on his golden stallion...or pony if you would like to call it that. Ms. Jade is on behind him with a Tiara. Dan Duggan comes out carrying a board. Not a 2x4. Just an old, broken, splintered board. He runs around the ring screaming and yelling like Jim Duggan. The bell rings and X-Cal locks up with Dan. Dan throws him down and covers. Not even a one. Dan lands a boot to the back of the head as X struggles hard to get up. Dan is pummeling him with boots and X snatches his foot. He does a dragon screw and gets on top of Dan. X gets a couple crossfaces and locks in an stf! Dan is struggling and struggling. He reaches for the ropes, but Jade pulls it away. Dan taps, he taps! X-Cal is the final entrant into the Triple Threat Match!

Winner: X-Cal

Ms. Jade and X-Cal interview

Ms. Jade goes to pick up a mic. Wonder what she's got to say.

Ms. Jade: Let's turn our attention to the match tonight. Mr. Simon, a mental patient, and Tony Scarcelli, a mob boss. What the hell is wrong with this backyard? These guys suck. They have no wrestling ability at all. Now look at this golden stallion of a man X-Cal. Isn't he awesome? I know he is. You all love him.

X takes Jade aside and starts talking to her.

Jade: Oh shut up, they like what I'm saying just fine.

Simon shows up on a side tv off to the right of the ring. Looks like he's in my basement. Geez, why are these people getting in my house?

Mr. Simon: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!! You will see tonight, tonight! That I am the dominant...DOMINANT!!!! Force in this Backyard!!!! You will see that I am more than I seem!!! I...

Boom...

Tony: Huh? What'd you say bitch!? Come on, get up!

Tony throws Simon into a pipe. X-Cal runs back to the basement and all three of them are there. X-Cal starts dragging Simon to the ring and Tony hits him with a clothesline. Tony gets in the ring and orders Johnny to ring the bell.

Main Event

SOLW Heavyweight Championship Tournament Finals. Elimination Triple Threat Match.

-Mr. Simon vs. Tony Scarcelli vs. X-Cal w/ Ms. Jade-

Tony is making Johnny count to ten. 1...2...3....4....5...6...Simon rolls back in. They get in each other's faces and Simon hits him with a right. Another, and another. X gets in the ring and shoulder tackle's them both. X gets some momentum going and hits each with a clothesline. He sends them into the ropes and hits a powerslam on both of them. Tony is up first and he attacks X from behind, who is getting a kiss from Ms. Jade. He gets knocked out of the ring and Tony focuses on Simon. Tony turns around and gets hit in the mid-section with a right, then a left. Simon is fighting to his feet and DDT! He covers, 1..2..kickout. X hits Tony with a few boots. Simon conects with a punch straight to the X's gut. X doubles over and flops on the ground. Tony and Simon get into it again and Tony locks him into a suplex. Tony goes up top and drives an elbow into his chest. 1...2...Tony kicks out. X throws Tony outside the ring after a few stomps. He turns around into an elbow from Simon. Simon puts X on the corner and Psycho Snap!! 1...2...3!!! X-Cal is eliminated! Simon goes after Tony and throws him back in the ring. Tony kicks him in the stomach and goes for the mob drop, but it's reversed into a reverse neckbreaker. Simon throws him into the corner. He puts him up top and Psycho Snap!!! Our first champion!!! Mr. Simon!!!!!!!!

Winner and First SOLW Heavyweight Champion: Mr. Simon

Quick Results

Mr. Simon d. X-Cal and Tony 'The Boss' Scarcelli and becomes first SOLW champion!

X-Cal d. Dan Duggan

Mr. Simon d. The Warlock

Tony 'The Boss' Scarcelli d. Fluffles

Edited July 19, 2006 by Mountain Dew Plunge

[MDP]

I thought it was an okay show for our first time. Here's the new overness updates.

Overness Updates

Fluffles: 6

Hatchet Dan Duggan: 11

Mr. Simon: 29

Ms. Jade: 5

The Warlock: 8

Tony Scarcelli: 20

X-Cal: 8

Fluffles came to me after he changed and asked me for a name change. He requested the name, Chuckles. I figured why not, it did sound better. Ok, Chuckles it is. Our next show is February 19th. Hell Begins. The headliner would be Mr. Simon vs. Tony Scarcelli, in a Basement Brawl, for the SOLW Heavyweight Championship. Apparently, Dan Delay thinks that Mr. Simon is my best guy. He thinks if I lose him I'm screwed. Well you know what? Just to show Dan Delay, I fired Mr. Simon. OMG!! Swerve, heel turn!!! Nah, jk...I could never fire Mr. Simon. Without paying my staff yet, I have lost $7,950. Nothing at all goes on until the beginning of February, when I lose another $14,000 for paying my staff. So I lost $22,950 and gained 1% PI!!!!! YEAH!!! OH YEAH!!!!!! 1 PI BABY!!!! Ok, Mr. Simon turns 24. That's kool, I sent him a muffin basket. Coincedence: Jim Duggan announces he will retire in a month. I'm so tired I could just...

ANNOUNCE THE CARD FOR HELL BEGINS. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED COFFEE? COFFEE IS GREAT, IT KEEP YOU AWAKE AND EVERYTHING!!

The Card For Hell Begins

SOLW Heavyweigt Championship Match: Basement Brawl

Mr. Simon vs. Tony Scarcelli

Mr. Simon became the first champion ever last month, can the mob boss become second?

Fluffles vs. The Warlock

An evil clown and a voodoo man square off.

Mr. Simon vs. X-Cal w/ Jade

What kind of impact can Jade have on the current SOLW champion?

Tony Scarcelli vs. The Warlock

The Voodoo Mob, sounds like a nice ring for a tag team name, or a killing spree team.

Plus, Jade opens her mouth again, and Mr. Simon will probably show up again.

Edited July 19, 2006 by Mountain Dew Plunge

[MDP]

Knock, knock, knock...

All: We want pay raises!

Me: All a yah! Go to hell! You ain't gettin my money!

All: Open the door.

Me: Oh, my bad, thought you were the IRS. Heh heh, what's the problem guys?

All: We want pay raises!

Me: Hey, money is going to be tight for a couple months guys, I don't thnit's oing to happen. But as soon as I have money to spare, you all will get your raises, I promise.

Mr. Simon: Do I still get my championship bonus?

Me: Bonus? You want a bonus for ME putting the title on the likes of YOU! NO!!!

Mr. Simon: That's the way WWE does it...

Me: Does this sign above my door say WWE?

Mr. Simon: What sign?

Me: The one above the door....ok where is it?

shhh, pfft, pfft, shhhh

Chuckles: Oh look, here it is. Hey it does say WWE on it! Wow.

Me: Chuckles, let me see what's behind your back. The other hand. Both hands please!

Squirt

Me: OKAY!! THAT'S IT!! GIVE ME THE SPRAY PAINT AND GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!! 7P.M. HELL BEGINS FEBRUARY 19TH, IF YOU'RE NOT THERE, YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!

Slam...

Chuckles: Gee what's up his butt!

X-Cal: The water you sprayed him with by now. Haha.

Me: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!

Edited July 19, 2006 by Mountain Dew Plunge

[bolleje]

Whoohoow... nice one! Very good first show... good character development!

I think Chuckles Vs Warlock will be a match of the year candidate...

Perhaps you should have 2 more wrestlers..., but I'm not your financial manager am I?

By the way, I decided to stop with my diary (Santa Claus Entertainment). I just don't seem to be able to keep it going...

But I think it has some weird gimmicks that would fit in your backyard fed, so if you want, you can use them.

[MDP]

I am pressed for money, but I am going to bring in Shawn Stylez because he has charisma, and he's cheap, but he won't debut until after Hell Begins. I don't know what kind of gimmick to give him though. Perhaps he can be a person who thinks he can fly. If anybody has any Shawn Stylez ideas, please feel free to present them here.

[MDP]

Pre-Show Notes

Nothing really except I forgot to book Danny Duggan in a match. Oh well, I'll save $5,000 this month.

Hell Begins

Match One

-Tony 'The Boss' Scarcelli vs. The Warlock-

They lock up and The Warlock gains the quick advantage. Warlock wraps his coat around Tony's neck and chokes him down. Tony looks unconcious and Warlock goes for the cover. 1..2..No. Tony gets out of it. Warlock props up Tony's head and starts beating down on his face. Tony flips it around and starts beating the face of The Warlock. Tony picks him up and measures his shots to his face. Warlock wavers, another right hand. Warlock falls. Tony drags Warlock to the corner and rubs his face in the turnbuckle. Warlock is screaming and crying out for Baxter. Does he actually expect it to cme help him? I don't know, but anyway, Tony gets Warlock to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Warlock connects with a clothesline on his way back. Warlock looks like he's gaining momentum and he hits another clothesline. He charges at Tony again and Mob Drop!!! 1...2...3!! Tony Scarcelli wins.

Winner: Tony 'The Boss' Scarcelli

As X-Cal's music hits, Tony runs into X as they pass each other. They stare each other down and Tony finally breaks the stare and walks away.

Ms. Jade and X-Cal Interview

Ms. Jade: Ok, listen up. This is that backyard bullshit I was talking about last month. My client was in the main event last month, where is he now? The second match of the night of course. Where the people that book this crap seem to like to leave superstars. But I will let all of you in on a little secret. My client didn't have to put up with it back then. As soon as we capture the title we can go back to where we came from. Back to the 15th century where we belong! My client and I were banished from our century because, whoopitydoo, I slept with him, while he was married to the king's daughter. So what, right? How many of you three lady whores have cheated on someone? A lot right? Exactly! So after X wins his match tonight, next month he gets his title shot, and we get back to our time!

Mr. Simon's music blares and off we go to our second match of the night.

Match Two

-X-Cal w. Ms. Jade vs. Mr. Simon-

Simon slides into the ring and quickly receives some boots from X-Cal. X gets the upperhand and puts Simon in a headlock. Simon is trying to fight out of it, but X-Cal has a firm grip on him. Simon throws an elbow to X's mid-section. Simon gets free and bounds off the ropes with a flying elbow. Simon grabs the leg and starts to stomp on the knee of X-Cal. X is favoring his leg and Simon goes to work on it. Simon picks up the leg and drives his elbow in to it. Simon gets off him and taunts to our crowd of 5. X limps up to his feet and and lands a punch to the back of Simon. Simon turns around quickly with a HUGE right hand. X falls to the ground and still holds his leg. Simon sees an opportunity and puts him in a boston crab! X is reaching and reaching for the ropes. He starts to slowly move to the ropes but he just can't make it. Ms. Jade has her tiara in her hand and smacks Simon with it! X covers, 1...2..No! Simon kicks out! Ms. Jade can't believe it and she instructs X to finish it. X goes for his finisher, but it's reversed into a DDT! Simon gets back on the offensive and continues to pound on X-Cal's leg. Simon picks X up and whips him hard into the corner. X struggles to his feet still hobbling on his leg. Simon charges at X and slams into him, driving X into the corner more thoroughly. Simon props X on the top turnbuckle and and here it comes, Psycho Snap! 1...2...3! It's over!

Winner: Mr. Simon

Looks like X-Cal and Jade will be sticking around a little longer.

Match Three

-Chuckles vs. The Warlock-

Chuckles comes out in his clown attire atop his unicycle. The Warlock enters on his remote controlled Tonka truck. They stare each other down first and Chuckles extends his hand. The Warlock is too wise for this of course and he doesn't take it. Chuckles is sick of waiting and attacks Warlock. Warlock side steps him and Chuckles goes flying out of the ring. Warlock waits for Chuckles to get up and he suicide dives onto him! They both are down but Warlock is first to his feet. He rolls Chuckles back in the ring and lays the boots to him. Chuckles catches the leg and pushes Warlock down. Warlock scrambles to get Baxter but Chuckles pulls him away. He laughs at Warlock and he falls to the ground. Warlock grab the wand and starts to shout stuff at Chuckles. Chuckles continues to laugh, but suddenly he tenses up. Chuckles rises to his feet and is standing totally straight. What's going on? Chuckles has a bewildered look on his face. Warlock bounces off the ropes and just nails Chuckles with a clothesline. Chuckles falls like a dead duck still not moving. Warlock is astonished, I think his spell worked! He is jumping around and opps! Broke his wand! Chuckles regains conciousness and gets up. Warlock is whining over his wand and Chuckles grabs him from behind. He turns him around and he sprays him with his flower! He picks him up, Spraying Flower!!!! 1...2...3!!! Goodnight Warlock!

Winner: Chuckles

Simon Onscreen again

As the other wrestlers make their way out of the ring, Simon shows up on the screen.

Mr. Simon: Hello boys and girls! How are all of you!? Good I hope you are all as fine and dandy as me! I mean being world champion is amazing! But tonight!!! Tonight I have to go out there again! And prove to the backyard world! That I am the champion of this SHITHOLE! Tonight, I ave a match in my home, THE BASEMENT! Tony Scarcelli, he has no clue what he's going to get when we enter my realm!

Main Event

SOLW Heavyweight Championship Match: Basement Brawl

-Tony 'The Boss' Scarcelli vs. Mr. Simon ©

Tony comes out of nowhere and smacks Simon from behind. Tony gains the clear advantage and throws Simon to the ground. Tony gets on Simon's back and grinds his face into the basement floor. Tony lands some punches to the back of the head and puts a crossface on him. Tony grabs the leg and he's got an STF! There's no ropes here, Simon can't get out. He gets his hands on something...it's a shovel! He smacks Tony with it and he flops to the floor. Simon comes back up laughing and with an evil grin. He flips him over and rubs his foot into Tony's face. Then he gets his foot under his chin and is choking the life out of him. Simon lifts up his foot and grabs Tony by the hair. He drags him over to the steps and slams his face off them. He takes Tony to the top of the stairs and just throws him down the steps. Tony looks hurt badly and is bleeding. The first blood shed in SOLW! Hell really has begun under the reign of Mr. Simon. He grabs Tony at the bootom of the steps and whips him straight into the wall. On his back off the bounce, Simon hits Tony with a reverse neckbreaker. God that's gotta hurt on the cement. Simon gets up on Tony and starts beating the blood out of Tony's head. He has it on his hand and laughs. He licks the blood from his hand. How sick is that? What a psycho. Simon takes Tony back up to the top of the steps. Psycho Snap!! Psycho Snap off the steps, that's at least 15 feet!!!! Oh my god!!! 1...2...3! No doubt about it, Mr. Simon has won!

Winner: Mr. Simon

(A 45% Overall)

Quick Results

Mr. Simon d. Tony 'The Boss' Scarcelli

Chuckles d. The Warlock

X-Cal d. Mr. Simon

Tony 'The Boss' Scarcelli d. The Warlock

Edited July 19, 2006 by Mountain Dew Plunge