WWE '06 Raw and Smackdown by TGC and JHS

[Kwanzabot]

How did I know that would be the update to this diary?

Great work you two so far. Hopefully JHS can book Hardy well.

JHS, this is the first time I have read your work, and I'm impressed. Keep up the JBL one liners.

TGC, great work so far. Maybe you can turn Eugene into something different. Or atleast win him some sympathy.

Finally, this is one of few diaries where i read full matches, so keep up the good work.

[Draevyn]

Okay, I usually have a hard time coming up with feedback seeing as I decide to read diaries before I go to bed on most occassions. But I'm clear headed this time, so here we go.

-I've never been a fan of Teddy Long, neither as a manager or a General Manager, but despite that, you write him very well. Booker seems to be getting the short end of the stick here, but it's nothing that he doesn't deserve. Sharmell getting injured would not be an entirely bad thing

-Looks like you're going to keep the Pitbulls thing running, and not break up the Mexicools like they did in real life. Maybe you could bring back dominance to the tag division. Maybe.

-Poor Booker. It just keeps getting worse for him. Regal's "Liege" comments are golden.

-Forget Booker T, what the hell just happened to Simon. Ah well, he's never been anything other than enhancement talent. Defintely building Lashley up as a competitor, and it seems to me that my question for who TGC's getting for Shelton is going to be answered here.

-Rey/Sabu II=UGH! But I think that has something to do with me really despising the WWE version of Rey Misterio Jr. Sabu on the other hand, really never changes does he? Ah well, it'll be cool just to see how much more taunting Heyman does.

-Looks like Kennedy/Gunner isn't going to happen after the second massive squash of the evening. Another man that you're building up as a monster. Is it just me or does Smackdown have too many unstoppable monsters? Lashley, Henry, Khali, Batista. Yeah, seems like an awful lot of people doing the same spiel. But then again that's not really your fault either.

-Once more with the squashes, and damn this definitely gives my theory some legs with Batista completely manhandling the "King" Batista/Henry should be good, despite it being bad, if you know what I mean.

[TGC]

WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event

Saturday July 15, 2006 Dallas, Texas

-The show opens with the Saturday Night’s Main Event video and music, and then it cuts live inside the building. Pyro goes off, the fans erupt into cheers, and then the scene cuts to the announce tables with three commentary teams.

JR: Welcome to Dallas, Texas, and welcome to WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event. We are live on NBC, and we have one heck of a show on tap for you folks tonight. I am joined by Jerry The King Lawler, as always.

King: We are also joined by the “B- Team” from Smackdown, as well as the “Z-Team” from Extremely Crappy Wrestling. The less said the better about both of those groups, JR.

JR: Well, I’ll welcome Michael Cole, JBL, Joey Styles, and Tazz to the announce position with us.

King: (laughing) Not enough to actually allow them to talk though, huh?

JR: Well, this is Raw’s time, and here we go to open up the show with what is sure to be a great Intercontinental Title defense.

Carlito’s music plays, and he comes from the back with Trish Stratus at this point to a huge ovation from the crowd. The two enter the ring and play up to the crowd.

King: I still can’t believe that Shelton Benjamin is gone from Raw.

JR: I agree King, it’s a huge loss to the Raw brand, but at the same time it’s a good chance for someone else to step up and take his spot.

King: Nobody can replace Shelton, JR.

JR: Well, I wouldn’t go that far, King, but now’s not the time to discuss this.

-WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Johnny Nitro © w/Melina vs. Carlito w/Trish Stratus

The music for Nitro plays, and the paparazzi comes out from the back, taking pictures and rolling out the red carpet for, as King puts it, WWE’s First Couple, Nitro and Melina. They do their normal entrance as Trish leaves the ring. Melina takes the IC Title off of Nitro’s waist, and Carlito has waited long enough. He attacks with a stiff forearm shot to the side of the head that sends Nitro into the ropes, knocks Melina down, and forces Referee Mickey Henson to call for the bell.

Carlito continues to go right to work on Nitro. He mounts him, delivering rights and lefts and pounding his head into the mat like a man possessed. He breaks it up at the four count from the referee, walking backwards to a rush of cheers from the crowd. Trish is clapping for him on the floor, while Melina is finally up to her feet after she rolled to the floor. Nitro tries to crawl up to the his feet, but Carlito returns to the attack, sending a knee right into his face that puts him through the ropes to the floor head first. Again the fans cheer, as Carlito follows through. Carlito grabs Nitro by the hair to bring him to his feet, but as Melina gets on the apron Nitro low blows Carlito, then hits a Drop Toe Hold sending Carlito throat first into the guardrail. Trish rushes around the ring and grabs Melina by her feet and pulls, sending Melina face first to the apron. The fans cheer as Nitro rolls into the ring. He sees what Trish did, and he rolls to the floor again by Trish. He yells at her, then turns to check on Melina and Carlito comes from nowhere with a Clothesline that sends both men o the floor.

King: What is this ref doing? Keep the action in the ring.

JR: So far, King, this has been mostly Carlito, but things can go anywhere at anytime with two Superstars like Carlito and Nitro. Who will walk out as the Intercontinental Champion?

After the commercial break, Trish is pounding the mat as Carlito comes off the far ropes and nails Nitro with a Reverse Neckbreaker. On the floor Melina is screaming for Nitro to get it together. Carlito goes for the pin, but Nitro kicks out. The scene cuts to a split screen, as JR and The King put over Carlito’s total dominance during the break. Once back fully live, Carlito grabs Nitro and looks ready for a DDT, but Nitro lifts Carlito up instead and delivers a modified looking Fisherman’s Suplex of sorts. Carlito kicks out at one and a half, but it allows Nitro a chance to roll to the floor. Carlito follows, but Melina gets in his way as Nitro goes to the announce positions. Trish comes over and spins Melina around, slapping her hard when they are face to face. Soon enough, as Carlito stands back with a weird smile on his face, Melina and Trish are rolling around on the floor in a catfight. Nitro has a chair now, but he drops it and tries to come between the two women. Carlito grabs him, and Nitro again low blows the challenger amid the confusion.

Mickey Henson gets involved on the floor between the women, as Nitro rolls Carlito under the ropes and into the ring. Nitro lays boots to Carlito, then he climbs to the top rope. On the floor Trish is away from Melina now, and she is yelling for Carlito to get up. Nitro flies from the top with a Leg Drop, but Carlito rolls aside and Nitro lands rear end first right on the mat. Carlito to his feet, and he hits a Drop Kick to the seated face of Nitro. The fans come alive as Carlito makes the cover, but only gets two. Melina gets the title belt and tosses it into the ring right in front of Carlito and the referee. Henson grabs the belt and chastises Melina as Nitro gets to his feet and is nailed with The Backcracker. However as he makes the cover, Henson is still dealing with Mickie. Again, Trish rushes over, but when she grabs Melina’s foot this time she eats a high heel to the mouth. Carlito gets to his feet and he pushes Henson away, grabbing Melina by the back of the neck. The crowd cheers.

King: He better not lay a hand on Melina, JR.

JR: Maybe she shouldn’t have repeatedly gotten involved, King.

King: What? You condone this?

Before JR can fully answer Nitro comes from behind and nails Carlito in the back with a huge Forearm. He then rolls Carlito up and puts his feet on the middle ropes. Melina grabs his feet and pulls, as Referee Henson gets into position and counts the 1-2-3 to end the match. Nitro rolls to the floor immediately and he and Melina grab his belt and rush up the ramp. Trish gets into the ring, holding her left eye, as Carlito sits up looking less than thrilled. He looks at Trish, shaking his head as Nitro and Melina pose with the belt.

OR: 83

Crowd: 84

Match: 83

King: He did it. Nitro kept his belt.

JR: Not without a lot of help from Melina, King.

King: So? Maybe Carlito shouldn’t have tried to maul poor, helpless, frail, Melina.

JR: Frail? Weak? Folks, we’ll be right back, and when we do we’ll send it to our Smackdown compatriots for Sabu’s big challenge to anyone in the Smackdown locker room.

King: In other words, more Extremely Crappy Wrestling and an extended bathroom break.

Cole: Well that was a good opening match, but I think we can beat it. What do you think partner?

JBL: Beat it? Heck Michael we are going to pummel it like it was a young Michael Cole on the playground at school.

Cole: Yes JBL all the best action is on Friday Night Smackdown. No Midgets and silly comedy skits with us. Our first contest tonight takes place under Extreme Rules!

JBL: Damn right about that Michael. That’s why you won’t see any sorry looking nerds or little orange goblins calling our action. Hey Tazz! (JBL stands up smiles a broad smile and waves to a visibly pissed off Tazz) That guy loves me Michael.

Cole: Yeah I’m sure he’s a real big fan of both of us right now.

Sabu’s music interrupts the announcer banter and he makes his way out with a chair already in hand and Paul Heyman close behind him. Sabu slides into the ring and points to the sky. His music cuts off and the arena goes silent.

Cole: I wonder who answered the challenge. If they are from Smackdown I’m sure they will put on a good showing.

Cole’s questions are quickly answered as the familiar Native American war cry fills the arena and out comes TATANKA! The Native American Warrior makes his way down the ramp to a decent reaction from the crowd.

Cole: JBL we haven’t seen Tatanka in action for a couple weeks, but he is a formidable opponent and should be a good test for Sabu here tonight going into the Great American Bash on the twenty third.

JBL: Michael when Tatanka gets that hot Indian blood going he is a threat to anybody!

Sabu with Paul Heyman vs. Tatanka: Extreme Rules

Tatanka climbs into the ring and faces off with Sabu who is still wielding the chair. The bell rings and we are officially underway.

Cole: I’m not so sure how smart this was of Tatanka to not bring a weapon John. Sabu is known for his skills in this atmosphere as Rey Mysterio found out just last night.

JBL: And just like good old Rey will find out at the Great American Bash. Mr. Machismo has finally done it Michael. Bit off more than he can chew!

Sabu swings wildly at Tatanka, but he ducks out of the way. He spins around and charges again, but once again Tatanka ducks out of the way. He hits Sabu with a dropkick to the back causing him to drop the chair. Tatanka takes the opportunity to fire off a series of chops. He slams Sabu down to the mat and drops a knee. Cover 1…KICKOUT! Sabu jumps right up to his feet and begins to fire off right hands. Tatanka kicks Sabu low and drops him to the mat with a DDT! Cover 1…2…KICKOUT!

Cole:Tatanka is showing himself to be surprisingly well versed in Extreme Rules matches John.

JBL: I could have told you that Michael. These Indians have to fight for everything they get. So they know a thing or two about fightin. Scalp him Tonto!

Cole: Well as inappropriate as that was it seems pretty accurate in this case as Tatanka is going for the chair!

Tatanka picks up the chair and holds it up for all the crowd to see even though most don’t seem to care. Sabu springs to his feet just as Tatanka brings down the chair and turns towards him. VAN DAMINATOR BY SABU! This draws the loudest pop of the match as Sabu pauses and points to the sky with one arm while using the other to point to himself (thumb first of course). Sabu sets the chair up near the middle of the ring and bounces off the ropes. Sabu takes flight, onto the chair, onto the ropes, and onto Tatanka with the TRIPLE JUMP MOONSAULT! 1…2…SHOULDER UP!

Cole: I can’t believe Tatanka kicked out of that!

Sabu folds up the chair and throws it down full speed into Tatanka’s face drawing an audible groan from the crowd. Sabu picks up the chair again and begins to climb the turnbuckles.

Cole: Oh god what is he going to do now?

JBL: All I know is Tatanka sure as hell wont kick out of it!

Sabu leaps off the top stuffing the chair underneath him and hits the ATOMIC ARABIAN FACEBUSTER! Cover 1…2…3!

Rating: 56/45/68

Sabu gets up and motions to Heyman who nods happily and begins digging underneath the ring.

Cole: Come on Heyman! The match is over!

Heyman produces a table and with a bit of effort slides it into the ring.

JBL: Looks like Tatanka is getting the same treatment Rey got last night Michael!

Cole: We don’t need to see this. Come on security! Someone stop this.

Sabu gets the table set up and moves to grab Tatanka, but the crowd cheers as from the back it’s REY MYSTERIO! Sabu turns around, but gets caught with the SPRINGBOARD SENTON! Rey hits a series of mounted punches before Sabu manages to push him off. Sabu grabs the chair as both men come to their feet and charges Mysterio. Drop toe hold on Sabu drops him across the middle rope.

Cole: HERE IT COMES JOHN! DIAL IT UP!

Rey yells out SIX ONE NINE! However this gives Heyman time to drag Sabu out of the ring drawing boos from the crowd. Mysterio points down at them angrily as Heyman looks worried. Sabu makes it to his feet and tries to move back towards the ring, but Heyman throws all his weight onto Sabu’s back trying to hold him back.

Heyman: No Sabu! NO! Wait for the Great American Bash!

Sabu relents and the show goes to commercial with Rey checking on the condition of Tatanka.

-After the commercial break the scene goes to The King and JR at ringside.

JR: Welcome back folks, and up next we have…

However again JR is cut off as the lights go out and the green spotlights start searching the crowd as the beats of DX’s theme begins to play. Eventually the spotlights hit the stage as “Break It Down” plays, and HHH and HBK come out on the stage to a pretty decent ovation from the crowd. The head to the ring, where they do the crotch chops as the green pyro goes off behind them. HBK is handed two mics from Grisham at ringside, then he hands one to HHH as the fans cheer.

HBK: Welcome to Saturday Night’s Main Event. Yannow Hunter, we’re not far from my home here.

HHH: That’s right, Shawn. We’re also not far from being the WWE Tag Team Champions.

HBK: Seems like old times, doesn’t it.

HHH: Except in the old days, we didn’t have a hot chick working with us.

HBK: Well, we did have Asia. Europe? Australia? What was her name?

HHH: That reminds me I never told you about her and Pac’s video. See it was called One Night In…

HBK: Whoa whoa whoa, Hunter. I don’t think I like where this is headed. Maybe we should get this thing going?

HHH: We should…

HBK: Break it down?

HHH: Well that’s kinda clichéd, Shawn. I was thinking more about breaking them out.

HBK: Them?

HHH: Them.

HHH then points to the TitanTron, where a video plays showing brief glimpses of every single Diva in the WWE, both Raw and Smackdown. After it ends, and with some hooting and hollering from the Texas crowd, HBK is smiling.

HBK: I think my wife isn’t going to like this idea, Hunter.

HHH: Don’t look, HBK. Say your prayers and eat your vitamins, brother.

They both laugh, as the fans just sit, quietly, watching.

HBK: I guess they don’t quite get the joke. You see…

HHH: Nevermind, Shawn. First of all, we need to disqualify one Diva.

HBK: One Diva can’t be involved in the 2006 DX Diva Search. Why?

HHH: Because she won last year’s WWE Diva Search, and that could be seen as a conflict.

HBK: Yep.

HHH: So sorry Ashley Masturbation…

HBK: Huh? Hunter her name is Ashley Mascara.

HHH: Really? Sorry. Okay Ashley Mascara, you’re out, Have fun undressing Michelle McCool later tonight.

HBK: You’re going to be watching that match, huh?

HHH: Of course.

HBK: Maybe we better disqualify Michelle McCool too.

HHH: Yeah, she’s so not McCool.

More silence from the fans.

HBK: Wow. Tough crowd.

HHH: This’ll get ‘em going. Shawn?

HBK: Hunter?

HHH: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and children of all ages…

HBK: This is so gimmick infringement.

HHH: Yeah. So?

HBK: Go for it,

HHH: De-Generation X proudly brings to you it’s soon to be 2006 DX Diva Search winner.

They do the point most often associated with the nWo, as their music plays again and the WWE Divas start coming out. Trish, Maria, Torrie, Candice Michelle, Krystal, Jillian Hall, Mickie, Victoria, and Melina walk out in that order. Trish glares at Melina, who starts mouthing off, and Trish attacks, hitting a Thesz Press on Melina taking her down to the stage. HHH and HBK taunt the two to keep going, as officials come out and separate and drag the two to the back to some boos.

HBK: Well, that’s two out.

HHH: Soon to be four.

HBK: Yeah?

HHH: Come here.

The duo huddle in the ring, look at the Diva’s, and then huddle again, before breaking and high fiving.

HBK: Yes, we are already removing four other Divas.

HHH: First of all, Krystal and Jillian, since we DQed your SD partners Ashley and Michelle, we feel that it’s not fair to allow you two Smackdown Diva’s to compete, so you’re gone.

The fans boo, as Krystal throws a tantrum and storms off and Jillian just shakes her breasts, to some cheers, then salutes the others and also heads to the back.

HBK: I think you might have acted rashly here, Hunter.

HHH: I think you might be right.

HBK: Anyways, Victoria, you too are DQ’ed from the 2006 DX Diva Search.

Victoria screams out “why?”.

HHH: Well, you’re ugly.

HBK: And kinda manly.

HHH: And the old DX had a manly chick, and we want this DX to have a hot chick.

HBK: He calls her manly now, but we all know he…

HHH: Don’t go there.

Victoria begins to walk to the ring, as the crowd is still as silent as can be.

HHH: Yannow what, Vickie? We are bombing like crazy out here, so why don’t you just go to the back so we can get the ladies wet. Okay?

Victoria cracks a smile, then stomps her feet and walks off towards the back. On the stage Mickie smiles at Victoria.

HBK: They’re gonna get wet, and we’re already drowning out here, Hunter.

HHH: Ladies? Shall we?

The Diva’s remaining, Maria, Candice, Torrie, and Mickie come walking down to the ring. They get inside as the fans cheer a bit and DX leaves the ring. HHH and HBK search under the ring, then bring out four Super Soakers.

King: They are going to get wet, JR. Wooo-hooo, puppies. Wet puppies.

JR: Settle down, Uncle Jerry, settle down.

King: Even JBL and Tazz look excited here.

JR: Nobody is as excited as you are, King.

King: And Smackdown thinks they ahve the hottest Diva's in the WWE? Look at thses four.

HHH and HBK stand on the floor and start spraying the women with the Super Soakers as the fans start to come alive. Mickie looks upset as Maria, Torrie, and Candice hog the water, so she grabs Candice and spins her around. However Mickie slips on the water and falls flat on her butt. The other Diva’s all laugh and point, as do the fans. Mickie is pissed, and she throws a little tantrum herself before she rolls to the floor. HHH and HBK finally stop, and HHH grabs his mic on the floor.

HHH: Okay ladies, you are the final four in the 2006 DX Diva Search. Even you Mickie you crazy nut you.

HBK: Tomorrow night, live on Raw, the DX Diva Search continues. It’ll be you four ladies in a First Fall DX Panty Raid Match, and the loser is out of the DX Diva Search.

HHH: And Mickie, why don’t you put that WWE Women’s Title on the line too.

HBK: Okay, Hunter, now we can break it down.

The music blares, as Mickie stands on the ramp looking both crazy and upset, while HHH and HBK get into the ring as Maria, Candice, and Torrie dance around.

OR: 56

King: What’s a Panty Raid Match, JR?

JR: I have no idea King, but apparently we’ll find out tomorrow night on Raw. If DX makes it past The Spirit Squad later tonight, that is.

King: Now I’m really excited, JR. A Panty Raid Match? Oh I can’t wait until Monday night now.

JR: We’ll be right back, folks, and we’re coming back with John Cena taking on Balls Mahoney.

-After the commercials, and a brief recap of the DX Diva Search, ECW’s theme plays and Paul Heyman makes his second appearance of the night. He makes his way to the ring, then Balls Mahoney’s music plays and he comes out from the back. Half the fans begin the “Balls” chant, as he rolls into the ring with his trusty chair.

JR: This is an ECW Rules Match, King, and…

Joey: And unlike the Sabu match, which I must say showed Rey and all of Smackdown what Sabu is all about, myself and Tazz are joining the commentary team here for this match.

Tazz: You got that right partner, and Balls Mahoney is going to show Mr. Doctor Of Thuganomics why he’s the Doctor Of Extreme.

King: Great, JR, more of Tazz and Joey’s Extremely Crappy Announcing.

JR: Well, at least it’s not JBL and Michael Cole.

The camera cuts to JBL and Cole, who say something to each other as JBL glares.

John Cena’s music plays, and the fans erupt, half in boos and half in cheers, as per usual, as Cena comes out onto the stage, his chains wrapped around his fists and his around his neck.

Joey: (mockingly) The FORMER Champ is here, Tazz.

-ECW Rules Match: John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney w/Paul Heyman

Cena stands on the stage staring at Balls, who decides he doesn’t want to wait. He hands his chair to Heyman, then sprints up the ramp. Cena removes his chains, then meets balls midway and the two start exchanging rights and lefts. Referee Chioda calls for the bell, then heads towards the brawling on the ramp. Cena starts to send Balls reeling back, but he swings with a huge haymaker that Balls ducks, then grabs Cena’s legs and drops him hard onto the ramp. He mounts Cena and starts throwing wild punches. He gets up, and begins to drag Cena by the feet down the ramp.

Tazz: This is an ECW Rules Match, Joey, and Balls knows how to do these a lot better than John Cena ever will.

King: Unluckily for Balls, and what a name that is, but Cena is learning quite quickly, Tazz, just what an ECW Rules Match is.

Tazz: Well, not for nothing, but Cena isn’t in Balls league.

Joey: And there he is. We knew he was going to appear, and there he is Tazz.

Tazz: Oh boy partner, here we go.

As Balls rolls Cena into the ring, the camera catches The Sandman coming down the steps through the fans, Singapore Cane in hand. Inside the ring Balls runs off the ropes and drops a Head Butt onto the chest of Cena, who rolls in pain on the mat. Balls scoops Cena up, then drops him back first back onto the mat in a modified looking Power Slam. Meanwhile Sandman comes over the guardrail, as Heyman rushes over. The camera picks up the conversation.

Heyman: Sandman, please, not tonight. Let Balls soften Cena up, then you can do whatever you want. Just let Balls give him another big loss to ECW…

Sandman glares at Heyman, then pie faces him to the floor to a roar of cheers from the crowd.

JR: Paul Heyman has no control over The Sandman at all.

Joey: Nobody controls Sandman, JR. Never has, never will.

King: He controls that psycho Sabu. Sandman isn’t anything but a drunk. Just toss him a few beers and he’ll do anything you want.

Joey: Yeah, because that worked so well for Vince McMahon with Stone Cold, huh?

In the ring Balls climbs up to the middle rope for what looks like it might be a Moonsault, but Sandman rolls inside and whacks Balls from behind with the Cane. Balls folds over and leans against the turnbuckle, as Sandman climbs up and sets up the White Russian Leg Sweep on the middle ropes. Cena has a burst of energy, and he rushes over, getting underneath both men and as Sandman hits his move, Cena delivers a Powerbomb looking thing to both men. It looks sloppy, but the fans eat it up.

King: And that’s The Doctor of Thuganomics, Tazz.

Cena struts around the ring, then grabs Balls own chair from the floor and stands waiting. As Sandman and Balls both get to their feet simultaneously, Cena swings and nails Sandman with the chair right across the face. The crowd cheers and boos, as Sandman crumples to the mat. Cena then swings at Balls, but Balls no sells the chair shot to the head. He staggers back a step, then smiles and asks for another. Cena looks shocked, and looks as if he’s going to swing again, but instead he boots Balls in the stomach, drops the chair onto the mat, then hits the FU on Balls onto the chair.

JR: Balls has been FU’ed onto the chair. By god, this could be the end.

Cena makes the cover, but Balls kicks out, somehow, at the final second. Cena again is shocked, but he recovers by rolling Balls over and locking in the STFU onto Balls. Heyman rushes into the ring and kicks Cena in the side. Cena releases the hold, no selling the kick but looking plenty peeved. He stands up, as The Sandman rolls back into the ring, his face covered in blood, and shoves Heyman aside yet again. He starts punching Cena, who staggers back into the corner. He blocks a punch, then kicks Sandman squarely in the groin. Sandman collapses to the mat again, as Balls is up and comes charging in.

King: See? Cena is learning a lot about ECW as he goes. Sandman and Balls Mahoney aren’t the most dangerous man in that ring, John Cena is.

Tazz: It’s not over yet, King.

But it is, as Cena gets balls onto his shoulders after another kick to the gut, then FU’s Balls onto Sandman. He makes the cover, as Balls’ shoulders are down, as are Sandman’s, and gets the 1-2-3 to win the match.

OR: 76

Crowd: 73

Match: 80

King: John Cena just pinned both men here tonight. Cena just defeated ECW here. Orton can go home, the legend is already dead.

Tazz: Oh shut up King, he didn’t pin Sandman, he wasn’t even in the damn match.

JR: It looked to me like Sandman’s shoulder’s were down, Tazz. It might not be official, but Cena did just pin both men.

Joey: The Sandman has a win over Cena, not the other way around, JR.

JR: In any event, he DID just defeat Balls Mahoney.

As Cena poses on the turnbuckles a bit amidst his cheer and boos, Sandman attacks for a third time tonight. The two brawl back and forth, and soon enough Balls is involved in it as well. As the three fight WWE referees and officials rush down and again separate the three. Heyman leads Balls up the ramp, as Cena glares, and Sandman fights off the officials on the floor and then drinks a beer in the crowd.

Joey: Cena won this battle, but the war that has been raging since Vengeance is far from over.

JR: I think we’d all agree on that, Joey. We’ll be right back folks.

Clash of the Phenoms

Back from commercial and already standing in the ring are The Great Khali and Daivari who of course has a microphone.

Daivari: Well Undertaker. You’ve had a day to think about it. You already know The Great Khali is the new Phenom of the WWE. You already know that he is going to defeat you at the Great American Bash in the Punjabi Prison. And you already know that after that day your career is over.

The crowd boos as Daivari gains a little more confidence.

Daivari: But what these fans don’t know. Well at least until now is that you are a coward Undertaker. You don’t intend on facing The Great Khali do you? Don’t you have any guts left Undertaker?

The lights go out.

Cole: Looks like that question is answered!

The lights come back on and The Undertaker is IN THE RING! Khali turns around and the two men meet up in the middle of the ring. Khali is the first to move as he bring his arm up into the air and comes down with his dreaded overhand chop! Taker dodges out of the way and gets behind the big man. Khali turns around and Taker lays into him with the big “soup bone” right hands. Khali stumbles back against the ropes drawing cheers. Taker backs up in hopes of running him down with a big clothesline, but Daivari steps in front of his man trying to beg off.

Cole: Get him Undertaker! Lay into him!

Taker cocks his head to the side in disbelief. HAND AROUND DAIVARI’S THROAT! Khali hits Taker with the BIG BOOT! Taker tumbles back into the corner as Daivari screams encouragement for The Great Khali. Khali moves in and puts both of his massive hands around the Undertaker’s neck and begins choking away.

JBL: My god Michael I never thought I would see this. The Deadman can be killed! He isn’t even going to make it to the Punjabi Prison!

Khali begins screaming unintelligibly as he continues squeezing the life out of his prey. Taker finally counters by kicking the Great Khali right between his great legs a move which sends even the greatest man into a world of pain. Khali breaks the hold and stumbles back doubled over in pain. Taker bounces off of the opposite ropes and Khali looks up just in time to be Clotheslined over the top and to the floor!

Cole: What power by the Undertaker! (Taker turns slowly towards Daivari) Uh oh! What are you going to do now Daivari?

Daivari quickly jumps out of the ring and sprints to Khali’s side.

Cole: This one is far from over JBL!

JBL: Yeah but let’s see how Undertaker does inside the Punjabi Prison!

The segment ends with Undertaker staring down at Khali as the big man stares right back at him with Daivari trying to push him to the back.

Rating: 59%

-Immediately following the commercials it’s to the ringside area.

King: I hate to say it, JR, but Undertaker and Khali at The Great American Bash is going to be one for the ages.

JR: It sure will be King. But just what the heck is a Punkabi Prison Match?

King: Punjabi, JR, Punjabi Prison Match. And I have heard of it, but a lot like JBL I didn’t think it actually existed. Man, I think The Undertaker has finally met his match, JR.

JR: Well folks, that’s coming up at The Great American Bash on PPV, but we have a lot left tonight here on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

At this point “Are You Ready” plays as the normal entrance begins. HHH and HBK, joined by The Mini Outlaws this time, come to the ring and do their normal entrance. The fans seem a lot more interested in DX this time, as they cheer for the group. All four mount a turnbuckle, and then do crotch chops, as pyro goes off in the center of the ring creating the green “X” with the smoke, a slight deviation from their normal way.

“Here Comes The Money” rings out, as Shane-O-Mac dances out onto the stage next. The fans boo the Co-GM of Raw. He points to the ring, where he frowns and shakes his head. He has a mic.

Shane: Cut the music. Yannow, DX, last week on Raw you two hogtied me and locked me in my own limo, then you defeated Kenny and Johnny to get this title match here tonight. Well, that was the last night that DX is going to do anything to embarrass a McMahon dammit. Tonight, once and for all and finally, FINALLY, The McMahon’s get one up on DX. You see, you do have a Tag Titles Match, but it’s not what you think it is. First of all, those two midgets are banned from ringside. Get the hell out of here, both of you. Don’t make my dad come out here and fire your asses.

HHH and HBK look a little perturbed as they kneel down and talk to Mini Roaddogg and Lil Ass Man. The two midgets nod, then run from the ring and hit the floor.

Shane: Go on, get out of here.

The two then scurry under the ring.

Shane: Wait, what? Where are those two going?

HHH gets a mic from Grisham now.

HHH: We wanted to make sure that you wacky McMahon’s didn’t have anything hidden that could be used….

However HHH stops as The Little Bastard runs from under the ring, with Mini Roaddogg and Lil Ass Man in hot pursuit. He swings his weapon at Roaddogg, but Lil Ass Man clips his knee and sends him head first into the ring steps with a minor thud.

Shane: Oh come on what the hell?

JR: It’s that Little Bastard from Smackdown, King.

King: JR, watch your mouth. We’re on NBC.

HHH: I knew it. I told you the McMahon’s would try and get something over on us, Shawn. Those sneaky little bastards.

JR: Tell that to HHH, King.

King: He’s a degenerate, he’s supposed to talk that way, JR. You’re not.

JR: Huh?

Lil Ass Man and Mini Roaddogg drag Little Bastard up the ramp towards the back as Shane looks on mystified. The fans cheer as Ass Man does the crotch chop and Roaddogg drops a knee on Bastard’s throat to stop his squirming, then they disappear into the back with their captive.

King: Something tells me Finlay from Smackdown isn’t going to be happy later tonight, JR.

JR: Oh he can cry me a river, King.

King: You sure are getting feisty tonight.

Shane looks behind the curtain, then looks back in the ring.

Shane: Okay, now that that’s over.

HBK: It was just a little interruption, Shane.

Shane: Funny. Now, I present to you, Kenny and Mikey, The Spirit Squad.

The Spirit Squad’s music plays, and all five members come out from the back.

Shane: Oh, and this Tag Team Titles Match just became a Street Fight Match. Boys?

JR: Oh come on. It’s DX versus all five of them?

King: They beat all five of them plus Shane and Mr. McMahon at Vengeance, JR.

-WWE Tag Team Titles Street Fight Match: The Spirit Squad © w/Shane McMahon vs. DX

The Spirit Squad run to the ring and slide in one at a time, as HHH brings the mic down on Mikey’s head. HBK stands ready, and as Johnny gets to his feet he nails Sweet Chin Music. Referee Jack Doan calls for the bell, as Nicky gets a boot to the gut and a Pedigree. HBK drops a knee on the back of Mitch, then rolls him to the floor, as Kenny stands up, all alone in the ring with HHH and HBK. He looks extremely upset as he launches himself at the duo, only to get sent over the top rope with a Double Clothesline. On the stage Shane looks shocked, as in the ring HHH and HBK talk amongst themselves, then send Nicky and Johnny over the ropes to the floor to join Mitch and Kenny. HBK climbs to the top, as Vince McMahon comes running onto the stage. HBK flies with an Elbow Drop, then HHH pulls Mikey up and nails a Pedigree. Shane and Vince start running to the ring, as HBK and HHH each put a foot on Mikey’s chest. Shane slides into the ring right as the ref counts the three and gives this incredibly fast squash, and the titles, to DX. Vince also rolls into the ring, and even before Todd Grisham can officially announce the winner the four are fighting in the ring. HHH Pedigrees Shane, then he and HBK start circling Vince, who’s lip is busted open.

JR: I can’t believe this King, we have new Tag Team Champions. DX just destroyed all five members of the Spirit Squad in under two minutes.

King: I guess HHH got over his fear of The Cheerleader Thugs, huh? But look, Mr. McMahon is in trouble, and he’s bleeding.

Vince tries to punch HHH, but he steps back, smiling, as the fans cheer. HBK then de-pants Vince, who is wearing a thong, as HHH kicks him in the gut. One Pedigree and Flying Elbow Drop later, “Break It Down” hits, as HHH and HBK are handed the titles by the referee, the fans cheering.

King: That was the shortest Street Fight in the history of wrestling, JR.

JR: That might have been the biggest destruction of five talented wrestlers and the bosses in the history of the WWE too, King. I think DX just showed everyone that it’s not them on the Highway To Hell, it’s damn near everyone else on Raw.

HHH and HBK crotch chop the Co-Gm’s laying motionless in the ring, then go to the floor as the show heads to a commercial break.

OR: 79

Crowd: 77

Match: 81

Cole: We are back and after all that silliness it will good to have a quality wrestling match. I’m sure you fans would agree.

JBL: Well they would have to be idiots not to wouldn’t they?

Cole: I suppose…

JBL: Ha! You just called the fans idiots Michael!

Cole: I didn’t mean…

JBL: (mock serious) The opinions of Michael Cole don’t necessarily match those of the network as unlike Michael we respect you.

Cole: Hey! I respect them.

JBL: That’s not what I heard Michael.

Luckily for Michael he is saved by the majestic music of King Booker. The King makes his way out followed closely behind by Finlay and then finally Mark Henry.

JBL: Finally Michael. Finally The King is getting is just due. For too long NBC has gone without the glorious feeling of being graced by such a regal figure.

Cole: No Regal isn’t in this match John.

JBL: Oh how very clever of you. But even you can’t bring me down from this moment. The World’s Strongest Man has pledged his mighty bicep to the King here tonight and as always Finlay. Those Irishmen are among the best fighters in the world Michael Cole. Really who could stop this team?

Batista’s music plays bringing his team out onto the ramp. The crowd cheers as Hardy plays to them and the two big men look intense.

Cole: Well JBL! I think this team has a chance here tonight!

JBL: Oh please. Captain Internet and his muscle bound monkeys? Michael you must be crazy.

They charge the ring and send Booker and his men retreating to the floor. They pose some more as the crowd cheers for them.

Cole: It looks like they have a pretty good chance to me JBL.

After another moment both teams head to their corners so the match can get underway.

King Booker, Finlay and Mark Henry vs. Bobby Lashley, Matt Hardy, and Batista

Booker starts for his team as the other team decides to start with Matt Hardy. The bell rings and the two men begin to circle each other.

Cole: I’m a little surprised to see King Booker starting this one JBL.

JBL: The King is a man of action Michael. He is here to win the match.

Cole: And to make people forget that Batista beat him in just 38 seconds last night on Smackdown as well.

JBL: How dare you besmirch our King that way?!?

Cole: Hey it’s true! He got beat didn’t he?

JBL: Shut up and call this match Michael!

They lock up and Booker grabs a wristlock. Booker twists away at the arm until Hardy reverses it into a wristlock of his own. Booker tries to break it with a chop, but Hardy ducks and lifts Booker up for a reverse atomic drop. Hardy bounces off the ropes and drops the stunned Booker with a flying clothesline. Cover 1…2…KICKOUT! Back to their feet and Hardy catches him in the SIDE EFFECT!

Cole: My god John! He is going to lose in record time again!

Matt climbs to the second turnbuckle and yells out to the fans. DROP SHOT! Booker rolls out of the way! Hardy grabs his lower back as Booker rolls to his feet. Booker throws a stiff karate kick to the face laying Hardy out flat. The King follows up by slamming Hardy down in the center of the ring and hitting him with a knee drop. Cover 1…2…KICKOUT! Booker mounts Hardy and unloads a series of punches which Hardy tries with little luck to block. Booker says something to his corner and Finlay sticks his foot up in the air so Booker can slam Matt’s head into Finlay’s boot. Tag to Finlay.

JBL: Here we go Michael! Everyone start sending your get well emails.

Cole: This is a good opportunity for Finlay to do some damage before he faces Matt Hardy at the Great American Bash one on one.

JBL: When Finlay gets done with him Hardy wont be able to do anything but watch the show on wwe.com.

Finlay lays in some stiff punishment as Hardy struggles to regain control. Finlay puts Hardy into position and drops him right on his head with a PILEDRIVER! Cover 1…2…SHOULDER UP! Finlay drags him up again and whips him hard into the corner. Finlay charges in and Hardy dodges out of the way! The crowd cheers as Hardy begins to crawl towards the out reached hands of Batista and Lashley. Booker charges into the ring and stomps Hardy down putting a stop to that. This brings Batista and Lashley into the ring and we have a PIER SIX BRAWL! Lashley begins pounding away at Booker and Finlay attacks Batista from behind. The referee tries in vain to regain control of the match as from behind Mark Henry sneaks into the ring and executes a BIG SPLASH to the already injured back of Hardy.

Cole: The referee needs to regain control of this one! Mark Henry just decimated Hardy with that splash.

Batista gets free of Finlay and charges Henry! Batista spears the big man through the ropes and they both go tumbling out to the floor. Booker is trapped in the corner getting pummeled by Lashley until Finlay comes from behind for the save. Finlay delivers a series of shots to the kidneys and Booker comes out of the corner with a standing side kick flooring Lashley. They each take one of Lashley’s arms and toss him to the floor as Henry and Batista continue to brawl. Finlay takes a moment to pose as Booker heads back to the corner. Finlay bends down to pick up Hardy and gets caught in a SMALL PACKAGE! 1…2…KICKOUT! Finlay sits up and executes a series of stiff elbow strikes to the side of Hardy’s head. On the outside Batista hits a clothesline sending Henry over the guard wall and into the crowd!

JBL: One of these fans is going to get crushed Michael! It’s like Godzilla and King Kong are battling through Tokyo!

Cole: Nothing can control the rage of Batista! It doesn’t look like these two are coming back JBL!

JBL: They don’t give a damn about this match Michael. These two are bound and determined to kill each other.

Back to the ring and both Finlay and Hardy are on their feet. Finlay tries to hook him up for a Suplex, but Hardy fires back with some right hands. Finlay cuts him off with an eye rake and grabs Hardy. CELTIC CROSS! Cover 1…2…BROKEN UP BY LASHLEY! Lashley drags Finlay straight off of the mat and into a POWERBOMB! As the ref pushes Lashley back to his corner Booker comes into the ring and drags Finlay to his corner for the tag. But this allows Hardy the time to recover and make the TAG TO LASHLEY! Hardy rolls out to the floor and Lashley comes in a house of FIRE! Clothesline for Booker! Clothesline for Finlay! Another for Booker! Lashley calls for the Dominator! He pulls Finlay up as the official screams at him that Finlay isn’t the legal man. Lashley lets him go and turns around right into a shillelagh shot from Booker! Booker tosses it to the floor just in time for the official turn around and see him hit a stunned Lashley with the BOOK END! Booker hooks the leg 1…2…3!

Rating: 71/72/70

King Booker’s music begins to play and he celebrates his victory.

Cole: What a cheap victory by Booker T. You call that man a King?

JBL: He is our King Michael. He is the king of Smackdown and by the looks of it he will be the king of the United States after the Great American Bash.

Cole: Or the King of nothing. If he loses to Lashley in 8 days his career is over! Fans we have to take a break, but I assure you our next match will be much more pleasant.

Michelle McCool vs. Ashley Massaro: Bra and Panties match

The show comes back on the air with Ashley and Michelle both already in the ring scowling at each other. The bell rings and they charge each other. Thesz press of sorts by Ashley and she throws some punches down on Michelle.

JBL: Look at the fur fly Michael! These hellcats are lookin to fight!

Cole: Ashley wants revenge for Michelle’s cheap win last night on Smackdown. And she looks to be getting all that and then some. Why don’t you tell everyone the rules for this one JBL?

JBL: Well as everyone knows we have sexiest Divas here on Smackdown Michael. Despite what those two fruit bootys from Raw said earlier. The rules are simple Michael. These two gals are going to roll around and fight until one of em strips the other down to Bra and Panties. You gotta love it.

Ashley rips at Michelle’s top, but she fight back pushing Ashley off and making it back to her feet. Ashley charges again, but Michelle leap frogs her and sends Ashley shoulder first into the ring post! This gives McCool the chance to grab Ashley’s short black skirt and yank it down and off! She twirls it over her head with a smile on her face as the camera moves in to get a look at the prone Ashley’s panties.

JBL: It’s getting hot in here now Michael! I might have to get my stack of singles out in a minute. These divas are worth it!

Michelle moves back in and spanks the bent over Ashley! Michelle laughs, but this just fires up Ashley who shoots up out of the corner wildly punching away. McCool stumbles and Ashley RIPS HER TOP OFF! Michelle covers up as Ashley tosses the top into the crowd.

JBL: Look at those Bazookas Michael! That teacher could teach me a thing or two.

Michelle finally recovers and slaps Ashley. Ashley slaps her right back and then kicks her in the stomach doubling McCool over. Ashley sets her up for a POWERBOMB! Michelle reverses it and hits a backdrop. Michelle looks pleased with herself and even does a little suggestive dancing, but this gives Ashley time to recover and grab at Michelle’s shorts. She yanks them down causing McCool to trip and then pulls them all the way off for the win!

Rating: 44/52/26

Cole:Ashley gets some payback and gets a big win.

JBL: What an uplifting win it is too Michael!

As Michelle retreats to the back Ashley climbs the turnbuckles and rips off her shirt much to the crowd’s delight.

JBL: Oh yeah! Did I ever mention how much I love it on Smackdown Michael?

Cole: We all do JBL. But that’s it for us tonight. Be sure to tune in this Friday for more from SMACKDOWN!

-After the commercial break is over Randy Orton’s theme plays immediately, and he comes from the back, alone. His pyro explodes as he poses, then he walks slowly and confidently to the ring amid massive boos from the crowd. He steps into the ring, poses on the turnbuckle, but his music is interrupted as Edge’s music plays. His smoke hits, and he is in the middle with a second person. He steps out, and again the fans explode as he is already handcuffed to Tommy Dreamer. Edge looks royally pissed, as Dreamer smiles and looks a little crazy. He drags Edge towards the ring.

King: This is so wrong handcuffing a WWE Superstar to Tommy Dreamer. He’s not right in the head you know, JR.

Joey: Tommy Dreamer is an ECW original, King.

King: Great, you two are back.

Tazz: For the rest of the show, King.

JR: Folks, we’ll be right back with our Main Event.

-After the final commercial break of the night, the camera shows Lita and Beulah at ringside, also handcuffed together. Finally RVD’s music blares out, and the WWE and ECW World Heavyweight Champion comes from the back as “One Of A Kind” plays.

Joey: There’s the dual and first ever WWE and ECW Champion, Tazz.

Tazz: Those two belts look great on him too, Joey.

King: Take a long look, because after tonight the ECW World Title comes to Raw, and Randy Orton kills the legend of ECW.

Tazz: Keep dreaming, King, keep dreaming.

King: Ask Kurt Angle about dreams and Randy Orton, Tazz. Oh wait, you can’t. Randy Orton killed his legend already.

-ECW World Heavyweight Title Match: RVD © vs. Randy Orton

RVD pumps his thumbs in the ring as he’s introduced, and Orton attacks almost immediately from behind. Referee Chioda calls for the bell, as Orton delivers boot after boot to RVD’s back and head. Chioda pulls Orton back, who smiles and then nails him with a RKO. The fans boo.

Joey: What? First we have a WWE official for an ECW World Title Match, again, and now Orton lays him out?

JR: Well, this is ECW Rules, Joey, and as far as I remember, he can’t be punished for doing it, even if I think it’s a despicable act.

King: Go Randy, go.

Orton resumes his attack on RVD, as on the floor Dreamer instinctively tries to get into the ring. Edge pulls back on the handcuffs, smiling as he does so. Dreamer glares, then delivers a vicious Head Butt to Edge that knocks him to the floor immediately.

King: Wait a second, Edge was just doing his job here.

JR: This thing is already out of control.

Tazz: Way to go, Tommy.

Lita tries to rush over, but Beulah stops her, and soon enough the two women are on the floor.

Joey: CATFIGHT!!!

Dreamer is laying boots to Edge, who has a bloody head now, as inside the ring Orton is back to kicking the downed RVD. He struts for a second, and then he delivers an Elbow onto the left leg of RVD. He pulls RVD into the center of the ring, where he stomps on his ankle, before he smiles, and applies The Ankle Lock.

King: Oh this is perfect, this is just perfect. Randy Orton will destroy RVD just like he did Angle, and then ECW is dead, JR.

JR: Rob Van Dam has been utterly destroyed here tonight, King. He hasn’t gotten a lick of offense or defense in.

Tazz: Hey JR, this isn’t Oklahoma Football.

JR: Why don’t you just shut up, Tazz.

King: I said he was getting feisty tonight.

RVD is screaming out in the ring, but he is not tapping as ECW Referee John Finnegan runs down and gets in the ring. He gets right in RVD’s face and asks him if he wants to give it up, and RVD, still wearing the ECW World Heavyweight Title around his waist, pushes in the face and screams out no. Orton grapevines the leg, ala Angle, as Finnegan gets back into position. Dreamer, who has Edge by the hair, reaches into the ring and tries to pull at Orton, but he can’t reach him, as all of a sudden The Extreme Wrestling Machine’s music plays throughout the arena. Orton looks beyond shocked, as he releases the hold and jumps to his feet. He looks at the entranceway, as behind him Kurt Angle rolls into the ring.

Joey: He’s back! The Extreme Wrestling Machine is back!

King: What? How?

Tazz: Now this, my friends, is what I like to call a rocket bustah moment.

Orton’s demeanor changes, as he sees Angle behind him on the TitanTron. He gulps hard, then turns slowly and eats an RKO from Angle. Orton drops face first to the mat, as Angle pops up, removes the straps, and then hops around the ring like a madman.

JR: This is insane. Kurt Angle has just RKO’ed Randy Orton.

Joey: Fair is fair, JR. An RKO for an Ankle Lock.

Tazz: And ECW is strong as all hell once again.

Orton then rolls to the floor and slowly backs up the ramp, as RVD hops to his feet, nursing the injured ankle, and removes the ECW World Heavyweight Title. He then hops to the corner, climbs to the top slowly, and delivers a Five Star Frog Splash onto Orton’s back. He rolls Orton over and hooks the leg, as the fans in attendance count along with Finnegan. 1-2-3, and it’s over, as RVD’s music plays through the arena.

OR: 86

Crowd: 84

Match: 88

King: This is a travesty. This is a total travesty. Orton had it won.

Joey: Welcome to ECW, King. And all hail Rob Van Dam, still your WWE and ECW World Heavyweight Champions.

JR: RVD is a lucky man here tonight, but how long can his luck hold out?

Tazz: Luck has nothing to do with it, JR, not a damn thing. Congrats, Champ.

In the ring RVD celebrates, as Finnegan removes first the handcuffs from Tommy and Edge, and then the ones from Beulah and Lita. Lita rushes to the bloody Edge’s side, while Beulah and Dreamer hit the ring and celebrate with Van Dam. On the stage Paul Heyman walks out, lays a hand on Angle’s shoulder, and then smiles a very devious smile at RVD, who looks pleased, but not happy.

JR: We are out of time folks, for myself, King, and the other teams, thanks for joining us for Saturday Night’s Main Event. We’ll see you this Monday on The USA Network for Monday night Raw at 9 eastern and 8 central time. Good night.

OR: 69

Attendance: 16,665

[TGC]

WWE Raw

San Antonio, Texas July 17, 2006

-After the normal opening videos, the scene is from Saturday Night’s Main Event and the capacity crowd in attendance. Various highlights from the night are shown, including Nitro’s dubious win over Carlito, The 2006 DX Diva Search Final Four, the brawling between Sandman and Cena, Cena “pinning” The Sandman and Mahoney, DX holding their newly won Tag Team Titles, DX pinning Mikey in unison, Mr. McMahon taking a Pedigree with his pants down, Orton destroying RVD, Edge being bloodied by Dreamer, Angle making his return, and finally RVD retaining the ECW World Title and staring down Heyman and Angle. Then it’s to the live arena, where JR and The King hype the night’s show as Carlito’s music plays and he and Trish come from the back. They get in the ring.

JR: After The Intercontinental Title was stolen from him on Saturday Night by Melina and Johnny Nitro…

King: What? Nothing was stolen from Carlito, he just couldn’t win it. If anything, he was rewarded for his actions, JR.

JR: Rewarded? How?

King: He tried to put his hands on Melina, and karma paid him back. We were on NBC and My Name Is Earl is a hot show there.

JR: So the power of NBC and Earl took care of Carlito, King?

King: That’s it.

JR: Maybe you oughtta get checked by a doctor Uncle Jerry, I think the syphilis has gone to your brain.

King: JR!!

Nitro and Melina’s music begins, and the WWE’s First Couple come from the back with the red carpet, the paparazzi, and the elaborate ring entrance. However as Nitro is sliding in under Melina’s legs, Carlito hits him with a Baseball Slide that sends both men to the floor, and Trish nails a Standing Drop kick to Melina that puts her over the top rope to the floor on top of the men. The trio get to their feet slowly as Trish climbs to the top and flies off with a splash that sends everyone to the floor. The fans cheer loudly, as Carlito helps Trish into the ring, and Referee Mickie Henson calls for the bell.

- Mixed Tag Team Match: Carlito and Trish vs. Johnny Nitro and Melina

As Referee Henson starts a ten count on Nitro and Melina, who are slow to recover, Trish and Carlito celebrate in the ring a bit. Trish eventually heads to the apron, while Carlito paces back and forth waiting on Nitro. Nitro finally throws his fur off, takes the IC Title and tosses it to the floor, then slides into the ring at the eight count. He and Carlito immediately go toe to toe and fist to fist, exchanging lefts and rights in a wild manner more reminiscent of the ECW wrestlers than these two. Melina makes her way to the apron, holding her jaw all the while, and inside Nitro gets the upper hand, hitting a Drop Toe Hold that sends Carlito throat first into the middle rope.

JR: Nitro used that same move on Saturday to great effect, King. It’s good to see him continue to develop his repertoire here on Raw. He’s developing into a great singles competitor.

King: Developing? JR, he’s the Intercontinental Champion, having repeatedly defeated Carlito and the lost but not forgotten Shelton Benjamin.

JR: You really miss Shelton, don’t you?

King: Raw as a whole misses Shelton.

JR: I’m betting the two in the ring might disagree.

Back in the ring, Nitro releases a Half Nelson, then comes off the ropes and hits a Drop Kick to the back of the seated Carlito. Trish pounds the turnbuckle to get the crowd’s support, and they start a Carlito chant. Nitro goes for the cover, but only gets a two. He grabs Carlito by the hair and pulls him to his feet, and Carlito responds by grabbing Nitro by the head and dropping down, slamming Nitro’s chin into the top of his own skull. The fans cheer again as Carlito gets to his feet, and reaches back and tags in Trish.

King: Trish is going to wrestle the champion, JR?

JR: Not this week King. This is a Mixed Tag Team Match, not an Inter Gender Match.

However Trish does clip the knee Nitro as he stands, then rushes over and grabs Melina by the hair and pulls her into the ring. She heads to the middle rope and comes off with a stomp to Melina’s gut, and as she hops off has to hit The Matrish Move to avoid a decapitating Clothesline from Nitro, who is incensed. Nitro turns back around and is met with a decapitating Clothesline from Carlito, that sends both men to the floor. Trish covers Melina, but only gets a two. Both women are up, and Trish nails The Chick Kick to Melina. Melina drops to her knees, obviously out of it already, and Trish nails a second Chick Kick. Trish hooks the leg and makes the cover, as the referee counts the 1-2-3.

OR: 74

Crowd: 80

Match: 63

JR: Total domination by Trish on Melina.

King: That was…was…I don’t know what that was.

JR: Not quite the competitive match we saw in the past between Trish and Melina, King. That was all Trish.

In the ring Nitro pulls Melina out, cradling her, as Trish and Carlito celebrate. Nitro is handed his IC Title, and he carries Melina up the ramp, all the while glaring and mumbling towards the duo in the ring. Inside the ring, Carlito is holding Trish’s arm high as they march around the ring, all smiles. Finally Carlito extends his hand for Trish to shake, and she responded by grabbing him by the face and kissing him deeply. She releases and heads off all smiles, as Carlito looks stunned in the ring and the fans cheer.

King: Wow, Carlito is a lucky man.

JR: So much for bad karma. We’ll be right back folks.

-After the commercials, and after the listing of live events for the coming weeks for the Raw Brand, the scene cuts to the office of Vince and Shane, where Vince is standing in front of a podium.

Vince: Welcome back to Raw. We thank you all for watching tonight, despite the bad news that the WWE dropped in your laps this past Saturday night on NBC. However, as Co-GM’s of the Raw brand, myself and my son Shane are going to do everything in our power to rectify this, and return Raw to the prominence it once held as the premiere brand in Sports Entertainment. To this end, we promise that between now and Summer Slam D-Generation X will lose the WWE Tag Team Titles, and Raw will return to some sense of normalcy. In fact, we guarandamntee it. Starting tonight, DX will be putting their titles on the line each and every Monday against a Tag Team of our choosing. It is imperative to the state of the WWE as a whole that these two are removed from Raw, and as such I will now reveal the first official match for Summer Slam. It will see DX, and from here on out any and all mentioning of DX refers to Triple H and Shawn Michaels and not some damn midgets or whoever else they decide to try and drag out so as not to have to wrestle. As I was saying, it will see DX take on myself and Shane, and should DX lose they will be banned from all WWE events, shows, and brands forever. However, in the unlikely event that Shane and myself lose, well, that will mean that the Highway To Hell that those two have been on for most of this year has been a failure. Now, as McMahons, we do not fail, and if we do, we realize we need to take a step back and regroup. Therefore, in the event that we do lose, Shane and myself will remove ourselves as Co-GM’s, and in fact will remove ourselves from Raw for the remainder of the year. In effect, DX will have won. Now, we can’t have that, can we?

Vince shuffles the papers on the podium and takes a small drink of his water.

Vince: So to recap, at Summer Slam it will be DX versus The McMahons, WWE Career vs. Raw Career on the line. We think this is a most satisfactory conclusion to what has transpired between us all thus far. Oh, and since the women involved have all agreed, the scheduled Tag Team Match between Candice Michelle and Torrie against Mickie James and Victoria has been scrapped in favor of this DX Diva Search Panty Raid Match, whatever that might be. However, I would warn the Diva’s involved that should they win this DX Diva Search, they would find themselves under the scrutiny of The McMahons as well, and I’m not sure this is something that they would like. It would be in all of their best interests to rethink their positions on this matter, I think. Oh and one final thing before I end this State Of Raw meeting, and that is in regards to the Intercontinental Title. As a result of Johnny Nitro defeating Carlito for the title at Saturday Night’s Main Event on NBC this past weekend, starting on the first raw of August in two weeks we will have an eight man Road To The IC Gold Tournament, and the winner of that will face Johnny Nitro at Summer Slam for the title. Several participants have already been selected, and the remainder shall be determined in the coming weeks. Be sure to check wwe.com for the final eight men. Now, on behalf of Shane and myself, we return you to your regularly scheduled Raw broadcast.

OR: 88

The show then fades out and goes to a commercial break.

-After the commercials and The Slam Of The Night, which is Dreamer Head Butting Edge so hard he busts him open at SNME, the scene cuts to the entranceway where Randy Orton’s music plays. He comes out, poses in front of his pyro, then heads to the ring amidst massive boos from the crowd. He steps inside, poses on the ropes, and then hops off as Edge’s music plays.

JR: As far as I am aware, King, this is the only ECW related match of the night. As such, Joey Styles and Tazz, the voices of ECW, join us.

Joey: Thank you JR. As we see Edge and Lita enter the ring, I have to wonder how Edge’s head is after Tommy Dreamer busted him open at Saturday Night’s Main Event this past weekend.

Tazz: I’ll answer that one. He won’t be one hundred percent at all, and that will affect this Tag Team Match for sure.

At this point, Tommy Dreamer’s music plays and out walks The Innovator Of Violence, a huge smile on his face. He waits on the ramp, as “One Of A Kind” plays and out walks the WWE Champion and ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Rob Van Dam. He high fives Dreamer, then the two walk towards the ring. They slide in as Edge, Lita, and Orton leave and hit the floor. Dreamer stands by watching as RVD does his thumb pump and Spin Kick to the air as Todd Grisham announces him.

-Rob Van Dam and Tommy Dreamer vs. Randy Orton and Edge w/Lita

Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell as Dreamer and Edge start out inside the ring. The two lock up, and Edge is quick to rake the eyes and gain the immediate upper hand. Edge tags out to Orton quickly, and the two do fast tags in and out as they brutalize on Dreamer. Edge goes for a pinfall, but Dreamer kicks out at two. Edge nails a DDT, mocking Dreamer afterwards, and goes for a lazy and arrogant cover, but Dreamer again kicks out at two. Orton is back in, and he sets up for an RKO, but as he nails it on the dazed Dreamer, Dreamer grabs the ropes and holds on. However, he still sells the wrenching of his neck. He crawls towards his corner, as Edge tags back in and grabs Dreamer’s leg. Dreamer gets to his feet and slams his head repeatedly into the head of Edge, opening Edge’s wound up again. Orton rushes in, but he is too slow as Dreamer lunges and tags in RVD.

The fans erupt here, as RVD leaps into the ring, nailing Orton with a stiff kick to the jaw in the process. RVD nails a Spinning Heel Kick to the bloodied head of Edge sending him toppling to the floor. Lita immediately rushes to his aid, as in the ring RVD then goes to town on Orton. Dreamer sits in the corner, dazed, as RVD mounts a comeback much to the fans delight.

JR: Keep in mind folks, this is standard Raw rules, not an Extreme Rules Match.

RVD nails a Split Legged Moonsault, and then hooks the leg. Referee Chioda makes the count, but Orton gets his leg on the bottom rope at two. Edge, his face covered in blood, gets into the ring, and kicks RVD in the side as he is getting to his feet. Dreamer comes charging across the ring, screaming, and crushes Edge in the corner. He then delivers knee after knee after knee to the sternum of Edge, who collapses in the corner to the mat as Chioda tries to break it up. Orton gets to his feet, and as Van Dam rises, Orton nails an RKO out of nowhere. Lita calls for Chioda to make the count, and as he gets in position and Orton goes for the cover the music of Angle screams out across the arena. He comes sprinting down the aisle, with Heyman in tow, while from the fans Mick Foley makes his first appearance since One Night Stand, chair in hand. Much like Saturday, Orton jumps to his feet as he hears Angle’s music, stopping the pinfall attempt. The Extreme Wrestling Machine nails an Angle Slam on Orton as Foley, from the floor, waffles Dreamer in the corner in the head with the chair. Referee Chioda sees both acts, and immediately calls for the bell.

JR: I think we have a Double Disqualification here.

Joey: Which is why this match should have been contested under Extreme Rules, JR.

Foley slides into the ring and continues to lay chair shots to Dreamer, meanwhile Angle applies the Ankle Lock to Orton, who screams out in pain and starts tapping rapidly. As RVD gets to his feet, Todd Grisham officially announces that this match is indeed a Double Disqualification, and the fans respond by booing. RVD pulls Foley off Dreamer as Lita pulls Edge to the floor. RVD hits a Van Daminator on Foley, who crumples and rolls to the floor. RVD helps Dreamer up, as Angle releases the hold and Orton rolls to the floor.

Tazz: Now this is The New Breed Unleashed.

King: This is a bunch of crap is what this is. What business did Angle have coming down here and disrupting this match?

Joey: What business did the turncoat Mick Foley have doing the same, King?

King: For the second time in three days, Orton had RVD beaten and Angle cost him the win. Foley didn’t cost anyone a win.

Heyman slides into the ring as RVD holds Dreamer up. Heyman raises the arms of Angle and Van Dam, but RVD pulls his arm away and starts arguing with Heyman. He then gets in Angle’s face, as Dreamer now uses the ropes for leverage. Angle and Van Dam argue nose to nose, as Edge, Lita, Orton, and Foley escape up the ramp to the back. Heyman gets in between the two, but RVD shoves him aside and continues arguing with Angle. Dreamer now stumbles over, and he puts a hand on Angle, who grabs him and before RVD can react Belly To Back Suplexes Dreamer into the corner. RVD rushes to Dreamer’s side as Angle rolls to the floor, staring at Van Dam. On his butt in the ring Heyman looks first shocked, then an evil looking smirk appears on his face.

OR: 83

Crowd: 82

Match: 85

Joey: What in the world is happening to the ECW roster Tazz? First Sandman, Balls, Credible, and Stevie, and now Angle, RVD, and Dreamer.

Tazz: And why does Heyman look pleased?

JR: Folks we’ll be right back.

-After the commercial break, and after the highlights of the end of the last match, the camera is in Carlito’s dressing room. The sound of the shower running stops, and soon Carlito comes out of the shower with a towel around his waist. He stops suddenly.

Carlito: Trish?

The camera pans back to show Trish seated on a bench. She smiles and looks a little bit embarrassed.

Trish: Sorry Carlito. I just wanted to apologize for what happened in the ring.

Carlito: Apologize? We won. That was cool, that was very cool. And that double Chick Kick? That was even cooler.

Trish stands up and smiles, looking a little sheepish.

Trish: I agree, that was very cool. I meant afterwards, after we won. I got a bit excited and, well, I’m embarrassed about what I did. I mean…

Carlito walks up to Trish, smiling.

Carlito: Trish? That was the coolest thing ever.

Trish smiles as Carlito caresses her hair, then leans in and kisses her softly. The fans in the arena can be heard cheering. After the kiss, Trish looks very pleased.

Trish: After you finish getting dressed, do you want to go grab a bite to eat and walk me to my room?

Carlito smiles himself now.

Carlito: Give me ten minutes. I have to do my hair.

Trish nods and walks out, as Carlito stands looking after her.

Carlito: Now THAT was cooler than cool.

OR: 83

King: Apparently Carlito thinks everything to do with Trish is cool tonight.

JR: I know you’re jealous King but…

-JR is cut off as the scene immediately shifts to the backstage, where Umaga has Snitsky by the back of the head and is smashing his head into a wall, which already has a head sized hole in it. Umaga repeatedly smashes his head into the wall, screaming out unintelligibly as he does so.

JR: What in the hell?

King: Here we go again this week, JR. These two had to be locked out of the building last week after their match went to a No Contest and they destroyed the backstage area.

JR: Ever since Estrada disappeared two weeks ago, Umaga has been running wild here on Raw. Did you hear about the damage that Umaga and Snitsky did to Sioux City last week after they were locked out, King?

Umaga shows his thumb, threatening the Samoan Spike, but before he can jam it into Snitsky’s throat Eugene comes rushing up and nails Umaga in the back with a stiff chair shot. Umaga drops Snitsky to the floor and turns around. Eugene hits him two more times in the head, denting the chair, but Umaga simply staggers back a step or two, and then shakes it off. Eugene looks horrified, as he looks at the dented chair then at Umaga. Umaga then nails the Samoan Spike into Eugene’s throat, dropping him fast and hard to the floor.

JR: By god, King, the undefeated Samoan Bulldozer can’t be stopped.

King: And he just killed the simpleton too, JR. I mean literally killed, I think he’s dead.

Despite Lawler’s over selling, Eugene is rolling around on the floor holding his throat. Umaga picks Eugene up by the hair, and then scoops him onto his shoulder. As referees and officials rush up, Umaga throws Eugene head first through a nearby window into an office as a man inside scrambles up and runs out the door.

King: I was wrong. He’s dead NOW, JR.

Umaga turns back to Snitsky, who is struggling back up to his feet, and tosses officials and referees aside to get to Snitsky. He finally does, and he drives The Samoan Spike into Snitsky’s throat now too. Snitsky is now down on the floor, holding his throat, as Umaga screams, and then wanders off further into the back.

OR: 68

JR: Someone call the police dammit, this is uncalled for.

King: Can they even stop this beast?

JR: Folks, we will be right back. Dammit, somebody needs to control the Samoan Bulldozer.

-After the commercials it’s the “Smackdown Rundown”. Following that, “Are You Ready” begins to play. The entrance for DX is shorter than usual, as HHH and HBK come out onto the ramp. They walk to their left, where a DX Announce Table sits, similar to how the old Raw announce table used to be. The fans cheer, as they get on headsets.

HHH: Are we on?

HBK: We are on. I can hear JR and King cursing in my headset. Sorry guys, but it’s time for The 2006 DX Diva Search Round Two First Fall To A Finish Panty Raid Match.

HHH: Easy for you to say. And wow, would you listen to the language by JR? I’ve never heard anyone say fu…

HBK: Hunter! We’re live on TV.

HHH: Sorry about my potty mouth again, Shawn.

Maria’s music plays, and she comes from the back, smiling. As the entrances continue, Shawn explains the rules of this most original match.

HBK: Okay folks, there are four pairs of panties hung above the ring. To win, the Diva’s need to grab the panties of one of their competitors, andhen they do so that Diva is eligible to be pinned.

HHH: Who came up with this cluster?

HBK: You, Hunter.

HHH: Oh yeah. Great idea.

- The 2006 DX Diva Search Round Two First Fall To A Finish Panty Raid Match For The WWE Women’s Title: Mickie © w/Victoria and Jonathon Coachman vs. Maria vs. Torrie vs. Candice Michelle

All four women are in the ring, as the newest unofficial referee of all Women’s Matches, Mickie Henson, calls for the bell. Around ringside are DX-green ladders, and above the ring are the labeled panties of each Diva. Mickie immediately attacks Candice, nailing her from behind with a Double Axe Handle. Meanwhile, Torrie and Maria simply start rolling around on the mat, as the fans semi cheer. Maria and Torrie roll to the floor together, as Mickie continues to brutalize Candice. On the floor Coachman and Victoria clap and urge Mickie to continue her assault.

HHH: What are Coach and fugly Vickie doing down here, Shawn?

HBK: It’s because the two Diva’s are managed by Coachman Enterprises, Hunter.

HHH: Wow, Coachman Enterprises? Is this the group that screwed Shelton Benjamin out of a job on Raw?

HBK: Bad management?

HHH: Poor agent skills?

HBK: That’s Coach. He’s had more jobs on Raw than Rey Misterio has on Smackdown.

HHH: (laughing) Ouch Shawn. That was cruel.

HBK: Forgive me, lord.

HHH: I’m the King Of Kings, not the lord.

HBK: Not you. Jiminy Cricket, Mr. Ego.

Meanwhile back in the ring, Mickie nails Candice with a Stratusfaction. Mickie then rolls to the floor and grabs a ladder. Maria and Torrie attack Mickie from behind, sending her head first into the guardrail. Then they help each other out getting the ladder into the ring. They set it up, each climbing one side to the top. They each grab two pairs of panties, and Henson calls for the bell again, as Grisham explains that now all four Diva’s are eligible to be pinned. The fans seem a bit confused, until Maria and Torrie toss the panties to the crowd.

HHH: Here, toss some here.

HBK: Sit down Hunter.

Mickie slides into the ring, gets under Maria, and Powerbombs her to the mat. Then as Torrie tries to get off the ladder, Mickie topples it over, sending Torrie hard to the mat Next to Candice, who is still out. Mickie then kicks first Maria then Candice to the floor and cover Torrie getting the 1-2-3 to retain her belt.

OR: 53

Crowd: 64

Match: 30

HHH: Short, but oh so sweet, Shawn.

HBK: Torrie has been eliminated from The 2006 DX Diva Search, leaving only Mickie, who’s still the Women’s Champion, Maria, and Candice Michelle.

HHH: Those lucky bastards that got the panties. I hope those end up on E-Bay, Shawn.

HBK: Okay, and with that, we’ll send it back to the other potty mouths at ringside, and we’ll see you later tonight when we defend the DX Tag Team Titles.

HHH: Against who, Shawn?

HBK: Does it matter?

HHH: Not really.

“Break It Down” plays, as DX drop the headsets and head to the back. Meanwhile in the ring Mickie holds her title as Victoria and Coachman look pleased.

-After the commercials, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch’s music is still playing as Lance stands in the ring and Trevor paces on the floor. “The World’s Biggest Love Machine” rings out, and Viscera comes out from the back, looking less than happy.

-Lance Cade w/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera

Viscera gets into the ring, and he immediately attacks Cade. Trevor is grimacing and wincing on the floor as Vis just beats Cade down and tosses him around the ring.

King: Big Vis is a man possessed, JR.

JR: He has something on his mind.

King: Maybe the honeymoon video from Charlie Haas and Lillian Garcia? That was so hot last week, JR.

In the ring, this squash finally ends as Viscera Chokeslams Cade to the mat, then rolls him over, humps him, and comes off the ropes with a huge Splash. Viscera rolls him over, makes the cover, and gets the 1-2-3. Vis gets to his feet as Murdoch starts to get into the ring, and then thinks better of it.

OR: 59

Crowd: 62

Match: 53

-The TitanTron comes to life as Viscera starts to leave the ring. On it, Charlie Haas and Lillian Garcia are shown in bed, obviously naked but covered with a sheet. They are also both red faced and drenched in sweat.

Haas: Welcome to week two of our Honeymoon Diary. Mrs. Haas, what have we been doing this past week?

Lillian: Mr. Haas, we haven’t left this room here in Vegas.

Haas: Oh no we haven’t. But we will soon, as we head back to Raw in two weeks time. My lovely, desirable, vivacious, sexy, sexed up, hot, and damn near perfect wife and manager, Mrs. Haas, did take some time off from our sweet lovemaking to call Mr. McMahon on the phone, and I can tell you all that in two weeks time I shall be one of the competitors in The Road To The IC Gold Tournament. So to Big Vis, you giant load of crap, let me tell you again what I told you a few weeks back. I am done with you. I have moved on to bigger, as hard as it must seem to you that anything can be bigger than you, and better things.

Lillian: You know where fat boy Viscera isn’t big, Charlie?

Haas: I thought ladies didn’t kiss and tell?

Lillian: I’m hardly a lady.

Haas: Oh yeah? Show me?

They laugh and go under the sheet, as the TitanTron and video fade to black.

OR: 65

-In the ring again, Viscera screams out in utter anger and frustration, then turns back to Cade, who is getting to his feet. Vis rushes over and literally crushes Cade under his massive weight with a Belly To Belly Suplex. Murdoch stares on shocked, as the referee yells at Vis to leave the ring. Vis threatens him, and then he does just that amid some minor cheers from the crowd.

JR: This is just wrong, King. Why do those two feel the need to rub it in Viscera’s face if Charlie Haas has moved on, as he claims?

King: But as I said earlier, it is so hot JR. Wow, first Trish and Carlito, then a Panty Raid Match, and now that. I need a cold shower.

-After the commercial break, another highlight of the previous videos featuring The Highlander’s trek across America plays. This week, however, instead of promising that they are coming to Raw next week, the video ends with “The Highlanders Are Coming To Raw…Soon”.

JR: Well, hopefully soon The Highlanders will indeed make their debut here on Raw.

King: We got a new video today from them JR.

JR: We did?

King: We did. It’s hilarious and sad at the same time.

JR: We should play it King, and I’m being told by the truck that we are going to do that right now.

King: Try not to laugh at these two goofs, JR. Hahaha, a couple of simpletons worse than Eugene, JR.

The video plays, and it shows a sign of Sioux City, Iowa, then it cuts to the inside of the arena where Raw was live from the week prior, and of course, it is empty. Empty, aside from Robbie and Rory, who are standing in the middle of the floor looking confused.

Rory: Robbie, where are they? Where is the WWE at?

Robbie: I’m Robbie!

Rory: I know, but where are the Super Stars of the WWE? We missed them again this week? How do they move the ring so fast from city to city?

Rory looks upset, and Robbie consoles him.

Rory: I guess we better get walking, Robbie, we have a long way to go.

Robbie: Where to this time, cousin?

Rory looks at a sheet of paper, and sighs.

Rory: Dallas, Texas it says. That’s where they are holding Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Robbie shakes his head and strokes his beard. Then Robbie’s eyes light up.

Robbie: Cousin, why don’t we skip that one and go to the next one. Saint Antoine it says, right?

Rory: San Antonio, Robbie.

Robbie: Yeah, let’s go there. We’ll beat them there, and we can wait for them to arrive.

Rory smiles and claps his brother on the back.

Rory: I always said you were the smarter one Robbie, and that’s brilliant. Let’s go. San Antonio, Raw, WWE fans, The Highlanders will see you next week, and we’re coming for those Tag Team Titles that you hold, Cade and Murdoch, so be ready.

The video cuts to “The Highlanders…Coming To Raw Next Week?”

OR: 49

King: See JR, they are complete morons.

JR: (sighing) They’re walking across America? No wonder they haven’t shown up yet.

King: (laughing) Yeah, you two goofs come to San Antonio, you’ll beat us here. Hahaha, what idiots.

JR: And they think Cade and Murdoch are still the Tag Team Champions?

King: I hope they have to fight DX if they ever do arrive, JR.

JR: Folks, we’ll be right back.

-Cena’s music plays immediately after the commercial break, and the fans in San Antonio cheer more than boo as The Doctor Of Thuganomics comes from the back, his chains in hand and around his neck. He slaps some hands then gets into the ring, where he is handed a mic from Todd Grisham.

Cena: San Antonio, Texas! The Chain Gang is in the house and I can hear ya.

More cheers, as Cena struts around the ring smiling. A sign in the crowd held by a woman reads “See Me Cena I Love You”.

Cena: Look at The Chain Gang representing here tonight. Damn, this is what I like to see. It makes me feel great to see this kinda support. Give me some love, Chain Gang.

The crowd cheers again, as Cena hops onto the middle rope and throws his hands up for them to be louder. The fans give him what he wants, as he hops off the ropes, smiles, and laughs.

Cena: Damn good to hear. Okay, let’s get down to bidness. I was in the back, watching the matches, watching the videos, and that reminds me, somebody hang around the arena this week, and when The Highlanders show up, give them cab fair so they can actually get to a Raw show on time. I usually don’t agree with a damn thing you say, King, but we agree, those two are goofs. Hurry up fellas, get here before Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch drop those titles.

Cena looks stupefied into the camera as the fans cheer.

Cena: Oh, and if I were you, Mr. and Mrs. Haas, I’d be worried about a seven thousand pound always hungry certain Love Machine in the back. He’s pissed, and he might just eat you when you get back to Raw. Not somewhere I’d want to be, I can tell you that, is your shoes. Or your sheets. A week of sex straight? Those things must stand up on their own. Damn.

More laughter from the crowd.

Cena: And just in case you thought I forgot about you, Rob Van Dam, or you, Edge, I sure as hell haven’t. Paul Heyman has kept me busy battling drunken Sandmen and extreme doctors with no balls, but I haven’t forgotten about my stolen belt or who helped to make it happen. Edge. I’m coming for ya, boys, and you won’t like me when I get there.

More cheers, but this time the boos are a little easier to hear.

Cena: And speaking of drunks, this goes out to you, Sandman. You beat my ass all over the arena at Vengeance. Then, you pinned my shoulders to the mat in your kinda match, a Dueling Canes Match. That’s fair, I was out of my element and I’m man enough to admit it. But even after you beat me you feel the need to keep showing your ugly face in my matches and my bidness week after week? Okay, so you want another piece of The Doctor Of Thuganomics, I get it. So why don’t we do it then, but in MY kinda match. You and me, Sandman, right here on Raw next week, in a Chain Gang Match. Do you have the sack to step up?

The fans cheer and boo, although whether it’s for Cena or the announcement that the match is next week in unclear, and then Sandman’s music plays. The camera searches for him, and then they find him walking through the crowd on the floor. He hops over the guardrail next to The King and Lawler, then hops on the announce table as they scatter, holds his Singapore Cane high, and then produces a beer. He drinks the beer, spits it on Lawler, then crushes the can against his head. He then turns to face Cena in the ring, points his Cane, hops off the announce table, and gets into the ring. He stands staring at Cena, who is smiling.

Cena: Oooo, big man. You can spit beer and crush a can against your head. I’m so scared. But can you beat me again, this time in a Chain Gang Match?

Sandman smiles, shrugs his shoulders, and then nods yes.

Cena: Do you even care what in the hell a Chain Gang Match is?

Sandman shakes his head in the negative.

Cena: Why does that not surprise me. Well for the fans, I’ll tell you all that it’s where you and I are connected to each other by a six foot long steel chain. You have to beat the hell out of your opponent so bad that he’s unable to stop you as you drag his ass and touch all four corners of the ring. When you do, you win.

Sandman walks over and rips the mic from Cena’s hand.

Sandman: Why don’t you just shut the hell up.

The Sandman then slams the mic into Cena’s nose, and begins Caning him across the face and back. Cena escapes to the floor, and Sandman follows out. Sandman grabs Cena by the hair and tosses him over the guardrail and into the fans, and the two fight up the stairs, through the fans, and into the hallway of the arena. During all of this security tries their best to keep the fans back and safe from harm, as well as collect the dropped Singapore Cane and chains. Cena sends Sandman head first into a t-shirt display, and then security, refs, and officials tackle him. More of them get to Sandman, who is trying to fight them off. Eventually Cena is drug through a door and away from Sandman, who is being held back. Cena can be heard yelling that he’ll see Sandman next week, as the show goes to a commercial.

OR: 75

-After the commercials, highlights are shown of the previous fight between Cena and Sandman, as JR and The King pimp next week’s Chain Gang Match between the two on Raw. The lights go out, the green spotlight hits, and “Are You Ready” rings out again, signaling the entrance of the new Tag Team Champions. They come out, hit the ring, and do their normal ring entrance. After the pyro, the music stops, and “Here Comes The Money” plays out. Shane-O-Mac comes dancing out and he has a mic.

Shane: So whom will DX be facing for their titles this week? I give to you, Nicky and Mikey, The Spirit Squad.

Mitch leads Nicky and Mikey from the back, all three of them looking confident, happy, and excited. They hop and dance and act like fools on their way to the ring, as per usual. Shane stays on the stage, as Nicky and Mikey huddle with Mitch on the floor.

-WWE Tag Team Titles Match: DX © vs. The Spirit Squad (Nicky and Mikey) w/Mitch

HHH and HBK apparently get tired of waiting, and they head to the floor, where they bash Mitch’s, Nicky’s, and Mikey’s heads together, then roll Nicky and Mikey into the ring.

The scene cuts to the back, where Vince is leading Kenny and Johnny down a hallway.

Vince: You two know what to do dammit, right?

Kenny: No problem, Mr. McMahon, sir, we know what to do.

Johnny: Yes, sir.

Vince: You damn well better.

JR: Oh great, they’re coming out here King.

King: Will it end better than it did for them all at Saturday Night’s Main Event?

-After the commercials, a split screen plays showing HHH pounding on Nicky during the commercials. Back live, and HBK nails Sweet Chin Music on Nicky, before tossing him over into the corner. Mikey slowly tags his unconscious partner, then gets into the ring. HBK tags in HHH, as the fans cheer in delight. HHH comes in as Mikey pounds on his back, sending him to his knee. Mikey runs off the ropes, and gets caught with a Spinebuster that shakes the ring.

JR: I swear DX is just playing with Mikey and Nicky.

King: They’ve had them beaten five times now. But where’s Mr. McMahon, Kenny, and Johnny?

JR: Well, I don’t know, but Shane is still watching from the stage, and he doesn’t look pleased, King.

HHH hits a Rolling Knee Drop reminiscent of The Nature Boy, and then he goes over to his corner and huddles with HBK. Mitch is trying to rouse Nicky in the corner, as HHH and HBK break, and scream out “Ready? Okay!” to cheers from the crowd. HHH walks over and picks Mikey up, and as HBK does the nWo point from the apron, HHH nails The Pedigree on the already out Mikey. HBK calls for the tag, and HHH does so. HBK climbs up top as HHH rolls Mikey over, and then HBK nails a Flying Elbow Drop onto the neck of Mikey. Nicky comes staggering over, and Michaels hits him with Sweet Chin Music for a second time. Nicky rolls to the floor, as Mitch rushes into the ring. HHH kicks him in the gut and nails Mitch with The Pedigree, as HBK plants his foot on Mikey’s chest and Referee Doan counts the 1-2-3 and DX retains.

OR: 75

Crowd: 74

Match: 76

“No Chance In Hell” hits, and Vince comes out with Johnny and Kenny. He grabs the mic from Shane.

Vince: Get them get those sonofabitches right now. Break them in half, dammit. Kill them.

Johnny and Kenny rush to the ring as DX stands ready, after tossing Mitch and Mikey to the floor beside Nicky. However, the rest of The Spirit Squad stops at ringside, and start pounding and kicking on their teammates. HHH and HBK stand smiling, looking amused, as Johnny sends Nicky head first into the ring steps while Kenny picks up Mitch and DDT’s him to the floor.

Vince: Break them break the losers. They failed us and they failed you. Destroy them dammit.

Johnny picks up the ring steps as Kenny lays Mitch on Nicky on Mikey. Johnny then drives the steps down hard onto the trio, then they point into the ring and spit at DX, before walking off towards the stage again.

Vince: That’s right, that’s how it’s done. Mitch, Nicky, Mikey, you three next week will be in action again, but this time against your FORMER partners, Johnny and Kenny.

King: I’m shocked JR, I’m shocked.

JR: I didn’t like those kids, but that was uncalled for.

Vince: As for you two, next week, you’ll be defending those belts again, and it will be against the team of…

Shane puts his hand over the mic and says something to his father. Vince smiles.

Vince: You’re right, Shane. You two will just find out next week. Good luck.

“No Chance” plays, as Johnny, Kenny, Vince, and Shane head to the back. In the ring, DX smiles and holds their belts high as the show comes to an end.

OR: 70

Att: 7524

[Draevyn]

Saturday Night Main Event

Replying as I read these....

-Looks like Trish is going back to her managerial days. Really should have stayed that way with the dwindling women’s division. I had to laugh at Trish “pounding” the mat after the commercial break, but that’s only cause I have a dirty mind. Liked the little split screen thing which most writers would never incorporate. Nitro keeping the belt was good. I really don’t like Carlito since he turned face, and Nitro is probably one of the highlights of Raw at this point.

-JBL’s Michael Cole joke had me laughing. Seems Michael forgot about the Midget Division on Smackdown from awhile ago. JBL continues to crack me up with the Tazz stuff, speciall his comment after about Tazz loving him.

-TATANKA?!! When he said open challenge, I think he actually meant “Challenge.” The Triple Jump Moonsault used to be his legit finisher and Tatanka kicks out of it with ease? Ah well, Sabu wins, which I already knew was going to happen, but it was a pretty good match for Tatanka. Poor Chris Chavis, he went from being huge to being, well huge. After match attack, which means Rey runs in for the save.....and there he is. Is that being called a “Springboard Senton” now? I wasn’t sure. I always just called it a Springboard Sitdown Splash...I dunno.

-DX!! Could be the mark out moment of the night here. I love how Shawn keeps trying to explain the jokes. You’d think the crowd would realize they’re being made fun of. DX continues to steal gimmicks from the intro to the nWo point. VICTORIA IS NOT UGLY!!!! Damn, that was a bad rating, and not really that great in the DX sense. It had it’s moments but overall just failed.

-ECW Rules, which means it’s hardcore, so why did Balls hand his chair to Heyman and Cena drop his chains? Okay, how in the hell did Cena do that? That’s what I call pushing the man to the moon, and seeing as in real life, fans hate that, I can’t see it getting over very well in the diary either. However, with that being said, I like Cena, so again there’s points for ya there.

-Okay, I know that in this diary it hasn’t been going on for very long, but for the love of god I’m already sick of seeing Khali/Undertaker. This just furthered it with that old cliche of the impenetrable force and the immovable object. Usual “OH GOD WE HAVEN’T SEEN TAKER BEATEN LIKE THIS”,,,,,,since Giant Gonzalez, and Paul Wight, and the guys before that.

-Lmao, damn those midgets, damn them to hell. I like that added touch though with them finding The Little Bastard under the ring. Well damn, that wasn’t even close to a match, and something tells me that was a quick way to get rid of The Spirit Squad.

-6 Man just seemed like a way to get all six of these guys on television, and just didn’t really draw me in like I figured it would. I think it’s mainly to do with not really caring about any of these characters. It did serve to get Booker a win after being completely destroyed on Smackdown, but there’s still a long way to go before getting his credibility back.

-Stupid Diva. Is it a prerequisite for Diva’s to have no brains whatsoever. Dance after the match dumb ass, not before it finishes. The man in me wishes he could have seen this. The intelligent part of me thinks “Filler” and leaves it at that.

-I love Orton’s pose. Anyone else? It’s just so cocky and arrogant. I love that about his “character” RKO to Chioda just continues that. God I love that. Well damn, way to sell that injury Angle. RVD keeps the belt, and despite me not really liking him since he left ECW, I’ve still got to say that he deserves a long title reign, so it’s good that you’re not shortening it up like WWE was forced to do in real life.

-Overall it wasn’t a bad show. Sent storylines forward, and didn’t really have anything horrible. Some nice interaction between the brands. I liked it.

Raw Feedback Coming Sometime...

[El Presidente]

Alright, massive feedback post I've been working on for a few days, starting from the first show.

RAW Week One

- Alright, so John Cena is a "man on fire," sure, I can see him with that sort of change, because it's not that drastic from his current "street fighter" gimmick. I have to say I'm loving what you're doing with him though. He's that kind of character I thought could never go anywhere without a belt or a chase for the belt, but the way you've involved him with the ECW Invasion is working to perfection. And even though he basically destroyed two lower carders in the WWE eyes (Conway and Mahoney), he still looked pretty strong doing it. Plus, I'm interested in seeing where this thing with Sandman goes.

- You don't really have the Spirit Squad down, but I don't know if that's a negative or not, I guess you can feel proud of yourself that you can't play a bunch of male cheerleaders perfectly lol.

- Eugene and Snitsky is fine, I'd like to see Snitsky get somewhat of a push, even if he's still a lower carder he should at least look somewhat dangerous. WWE writers seem to forget that he was actually feuding Kane not too long ago, and even picked up a win.. And now he's jobbing left and right. I'd like to see him get some offense against Umaga, even if he loses.

- Sandman wins, not much to say about this. Still intrigued about the Cena/Sandman thing and how it'll play off.

- I'm a little iffy about the intergender thing. You're basically building a three couples feud, at least that's what it feels like, and I was never into the woman's involvement in the men's divisions. Don't get me wrong, I'm no sexist, but I was never into the "I FEUD YOU FOR THE RIGHTS TO SCREW THIS WOMAN" but that's completely besides the point. I just hope you involve the women too much, because the Intercontinental title is much more prestigious than the women's, and if the feud becomes a couples thing, the women's title will likely lose image as it'll always be in the background to the intercontinental. Don't know if that made too much sense or not lol.

- LOVE the DX stuff, it's perfect.

- I was definitely not expecting Orton as the man in disguise, so good move on your part. Just want to see how you'll build this whole thing further.

Smackdown! Week One

- I like this Vito/FBI thing. It was definitely expected that Vito would be attacked after the hug, but still, I want to see how this goes, because I think a win for Little Guido could provide enough momentum to enter a US title push, or something of that sort.

- Good use of JBL and Michael Cole. Especially JBL, some of his lines were just great.

- The matches were all really predictable. I never had any doubts on the winners throughout the entire show. It's fine for 3/4 matches, but I think it's important to at least make one of them somewhat more in question. The only one that was close to it was Hardy/Regal, but I just had a feeling Hardy wouldn't get a clean win. That's nothing major though.

- INCREDIBLE segment with Heyman and Mysterio, I just felt like I was there watching the show, and that's the ultimate proof that you've got something good going. Rey then defends the belt, good decision, just because it gives Rey a little more credibility as the champion, as he ACTUALLY gets a win on a smackdown. And although I like Finlay, it's good that he took the bullet to put Mysterio over instead of Regal, since he's a lot more over.

RAW Week Two

- Poor Eugene. I actually expected him to pull an upset win there, guess I was wrong.

- Yay, Snitsky gets a draw.

- I like this triangle with Balls/Sandman/Cena. Although, I see Balls and Sandman as more of "friends," just because they now have an enemy in common. I don't think they should be facing. But, I haven't gotten there yet.

- Haha, little Derriere man. I love this DX stuff, you're doing it perfectly. Any scene with DX is gold.

- Shelton is fired? Wow, that was definitely unexpected. I actually thought you were gonna' go more towards a draw and give them a triple threat at SNME But, I want to see where you're going with this, the WWE never "fires" someone on screen without having them pop up on another brand or come back anyway on the same one. I'd be disappointed if he went to Smackdown! though, to say the least.

- Not too big on the Edge/Orton/RVD thing. I love the way Orton tricked Edge and persuaded him to form some sort of alliance with him, but I don't think Edge would EVER allow Orton to have a shot at a belt at SNME without getting one for himself as well, as he definitely would want one. But, let's see how it goes, I see Edge possibly screwing Orton because he wants to be the only one to beat RVD, it'd just sound loike something stupid he'd do lol.

Smackdown! Week Two

- Pitbulls/Mexicools/Hooligans would be gold at GAB, a tag match ACTUALLY worth waching in the WWE. I hope you're going in that direction.

- Still loving the JBL stuff, really good.

- I can't really get mad at you for having all of these squash matches, because most of the people on your roster are "unstoppable monsters" and can only be competitive when facing each other, and we all know you have to wait for a pay per view to do something like that. We'll see though, Sabu vs. Rey II could be good, and I'm definitely interested in seeing who this new ECW superstar is and who he'll be facing at GAB.

- Kennedy is still just thrown around, that's not good, he deserves a good storyline, he's one of the bright spots of Smackdown! and he doesn't have to squash everyone he faces like most of your other heels.

Saturday Night's Main Event

- Nitro retains, that was expected. I would've been disappointed if he lost the belt so early, but I expected a Shelton run in of some sort. Well, guess he's going to Smackdown! afterall.

- Tatanka is Sabu's opponent? Yuck. The match probably wasn't all that horrible, but I would've rather had Gunner Scott answer the challenge. For some reason, I've always seen Scott as a Benoit type character, and I think he should still be built as one. He should be the face version of Finlay, a guy who can look good even when he loses, as he did against Kennedy, a little less against Mark Henry though lol.

- Cena squashes ECW in the end. It was predictable, but I probably would've liked it if Balls pulled off a victory. Even if it took the interference of 5 or more extremists to do it. I guess you made the right decision though, no point in building the new bad-ass Cena if he's gonna lose so early.

- DX wins, not much to say about that, it was a little expected, they've been squashing everyone.

- YES! Booker T gets the pin on Lashley, not very clean, but he still does it. It was about time those big guys didn't dominate everyone without ever getting pinned, I personally think it's a big deal that Booker got the pin for his team.

- So RVD retains, and there's nothing really good or bad about it. Orton doesn't get the ECW Championship, as I thought he wouldn't, although it would've been interesting to see him get it I have to say. As long as Edge takes the WWE belt back, it's all good.

RAW Week Three

- Intergender tag rematch, blah, boring, but probably all you could do with these guys anyway. Hope someone else gets involved with the IC title scene soon enough.

- DX vs. Mcmahons at Summerslam, another DX squash.

- RVD/Dreamer/Edge/Orton/Foley/Angle. It's really late here, and this is confusing me, I have to be honest . But I sort of get the gist of this, although I'm a little confused about Angle's involvement. Another double DQ, probably some huge match for both belts at Summerslam? Who knows. I just hope you keep the WWE title on RVD, and put the ECW title on a WWE superstar, it would make for more exciting wrestling, mainly for when you have to end the invasion. If the WWE had what they wanted (the WWE title) and ECW had what THEY wanted (the ECW title) they'd have no reason to have THE BIG SHOWDOWN~ at the end, to combine the belts. That's something you probably shouldn't worry about now though.

- DX Diva Search = gold. Love it.

- Alright, so to end the show, good thing Haas is getting somewhat of a push with this storyline with Lillian, glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks he's worthy lol. Hopefully he'll be involved with the IC title at some point.

- Cena/Sandman is still interesting, because you're been able to build Cena as a very powerful man. Only problem is, in the ECW FAN's eye, John Cena is now at the same level as The Sandman, they're both brutal, and they're both unstoppable. BUT, in the WWE FAN's eye, The Sandman started way below Cena, and having him get squashed at SNME and such is not helping his popularity to the WWE fan's eye, get what I'm sayin'? I think the feud might be a little one sided, I'd like to see Sandman completely destroy Cena before they face off once again.

- Dx retain again, blah blah, blah blah... NO! NOOOOOOOO! The Spirit Squad splits up . One of the more popular stables in recent history, working so well with this gimmick, are no longer. I have to say I'm quite disappointed in that. It was probably for the best of their careers though, as this now gives them somewhat of a credible feud with each other, which they'll hopefully branch out of and move onto bigger things afterwards.

And that is all, after working on this big feedback post for the past few days, I got caught up with all the shows, and that's what I put together. I'll be able to go a little more in depth as I follow the shows as they are posted, and don't have to go back and read them over, which made this a little harder to do.

[Your Mom]

WWE Friday Night Smackdown July 21st 2006

Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield are your announce team

Cole: Welcome to Friday Night Smackdown! We are just 48 hours from the Great American Bash, but more about that later as Gregory Helm is in the ring already and looking for a fight.

Helms stand in the ring looking to be in a bad mood. He has a microphone in hand and what looks to be something important to say.

Helms: Tonight I am out here in front of you idiots for one reason only. I am demanding to defend mah title right here tonight. Demanding? Can you believe that? I have to demand someone take a shot at me. That means I’m either that damn good or there isn’t anyone left to face me.

Helms pauses for a moment.

Helms: I like to think I’m that damn good, but maybe it’s a little bit of both. So here’s the deal. I have held this Cruiserweight title for about six months now and I aint never been beat. So I am giving the cruiserweights of Smackdown 10 more chances at me. If nobody can take the title from me in those 10 matches then I think we can all say nobody ever will. Then I retire the belt and move on to bigger and better things.

Cole: What?!? Can he do that?

JBL: He can do what he wants Michael. He is the longest reigning champion in the WWE.

Cole: Well let’s see who his first opponent is going to be then.

Some music begins to play as Helms drops the microphone. A few seconds later Scotty 2 Hotty comes dancing into the arena to nice little pop from the crowd. He dances down the aisle slapping some hands as Helms looks disgusted.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Gregory Helms (Champion) WWE Cruiserweight Title

Scotty slides into the ring and Helms drops a knee on him before he can even get to his feet. The bell rings and we are underway with Helms putting the boots to his opponent.

JBL: Is this supposed to be a challenge for our champion Michael? This…well I wanted to call him the white Michael Jackson, but I think the real thing is whiter.

Cole: Scotty is a former Tag Team and Light Heavyweight champion JBL. He is no pushover.

JBL: Maybe he used to be Michael Cole. But Scotty has seen better days. Someone needs to tell him this is 2006 not 1999.

Helms keeps control of the match wearing Scotty down with some kicks and slams, but looking incredibly bored while doing so. Helms bounces off of the ropes and hits a knee drop. He rolls forward to the opposite ropes and yells “INSTANT REPLAY!” He then slowly rolls backward and in slow motion walks back into the opposite ropes and bounces off and hits a slow motion knee drop. Helms leaps to his feet and poses for the unappreciative crowd.

JBL: Beautiful! You have got to love Gregory Helms. Have you ever seen anything like that before Michael?

Cole: I must admit I haven’t. But you can’t be this cocky and expect to be champion forever.

JBL: That’s where you’re wrong Michael! You have to be that cocky to be a champion for that long.

Helms goes to climb the corner and then waves it off.

Helms: Screw this! It’s over!

Helms picks him up and puts him in position for an inverted DDT. He signals for the Nightmare on Helms Street, but Scotty spins his body into it and hits Helms with a Northern Lights Suplex 1…2…KICKOUT! Both men quickly back up and Scotty hits a series of punches before taking Helms down with a dropkick. Scotty begins clapping to get the fans behind him. Helms slides in and kicks Scotty’s ankle out from under him. Scotty drops down to his knees in pain as Helms gets to his feet. Scotty looks back up just in time to see the…

Cole: SHINING WIZARD BY HELMS!

Cover 1…2…3! Helms gets up and forces the official to raise his hand.

Rating: 62/58/81

JBL: Helms was right Michael. He has no competition. At least not from Scotty.

Cole: Time will tell John. Time will tell on that one.

Helms holds up nine fingers as the show transitions backstage.

REVENGE!

Teddy Long is pacing around his office talking to someone on his cell phone.

Long: I feel you playa. I feel you. But what I got to know is…

The door to his office flies open and an angry Lashley storms in.

Long: Hold on a minute. (Teddy puts the phone down) Bobby Lashley what can I do for you? I got a busy night. Big World Title match. Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio! And this phone call is…

Lashley: Teddy. I don’t care about your phone call or your big title match! Booker T screwed me over on Saturday and I want him tonight!

Long: Well Bobby. Can’t you just wait two more days until the Great American Bash?

Lashley: I have to get him tonight!

Long: Well I’m afraid as the general manager here on Smackdown I can’t hurt business by giving that match away tonight.

Lashley: What?!? You have got to be…

Long: But what I can do is let you pick a partner. And let King Booker pick a partner and we’ll have ourselves a tag team match. Ya feel me playa?

Lashley: (smiling) I feel you Teddy. I feel you.

Long: Then holla at me later playa. I got to get to this call.

Lashley nods and leaves the room as Teddy picks up the phone.

Long: Yeah you still there? (the show begins to fade to commercial) So what’s it going to take to bring you to Smackdown?

The show fades to commercial.

Rating: 77%

We come back on the air with The Mexicools and The Pitbulls standing on opposite sides of the ring. They look like they are about ready to come to blows until the music for the tag team champions kicks in. London and Kendrick step out onto the ramp and take a quick look at each other before sprinting full speed to the ring. The other two teams clear out as London and Kendrick slide in. They take opposite corners and climb before back flipping off of the top and into the middle of the ring. They look at each other again before taking off their masks to a high pitched pop.

Cole: We are back here on Friday Night Smackdown and we have more fast paced action for you.

JBL: This is the kind of action you can only see here Michael. If you’re used to slow motion Mondays then this is going to blow you away!

Cole: As announced on wwe.com it will be The Mexicools vs. The Pitbulls vs. London and Kendrick at the Great American Bash for the tag team titles.

JBL: Tonight we get a little taste Michael. One guy from each team. Let’s get it goin!

Psicosis with Super Crazy vs. Jamie Noble with Kid Kash vs. Brian Kendrick with Paul London

Psicosis and Noble join Kendrick in the ring as London exits and the bell rings. Both men turn towards Kendrick and attack the champion! He tries to dodge out of the way, but Noble grabs him. He holds him in place as Psicosis lays in some punches and chops. Psicosis bounces off the ropes for a spinning wheel kick, but Kendrick dodges out of the way causing Noble to take the kick! Psicosis comes back to his feet but takes a dropkick from Kendrick causing him to tumble out to the floor. Kendrick turns back to Noble and hits a series of forearms to the back as Jamie makes it to his feet. Noble fires back with a chop almost knocking Kendrick off his feet. He charges at him, but gets taken over with an arm drag. Flying head scissors by Kendrick and Noble is out to the floor as well. Kash helps him to his feet just as Kendrick comes flying over the top with a PLANCHA!

JBL: You see what I mean Michael? Kendrick and London love to do that kind of stuff! It looks great, but look at him! He’s down and hurt too. These kids are shining bright but they are going to burn out quick.

Psicosis climbs back into the ring and sees the situation on the opposite side. He quickly runs to that corner of the ring and begins to climb. Psicosis reaches the top and waits for The Pitbulls and Kendrick to make it to their feet. FLYING CROSS BODY BY PSICOSIS! Noble manages to dodge out of the way as the move takes out both Kash and Kendrick.

Cole: What a move by Psicosis! He took out two men with that one.

Noble grabs Psicosis and tosses him back into the ring.

JBL: But one of them wasn’t in the match Michael. That high flying stuff doesn’t always pay out.

Noble begins to go to the ground and pound game on Psicosis with a series of stomps and kicks. Noble whips him hard face first into the corner. Noble charges into the corner and hits a running knee strike to the back. He grabs Psicosis and plants him with an INVERTED DDT! Noble goes to the corner and climbs the turnbuckles.

Cole: This is uncharacteristic of Noble. What’s he going to do here I wonder?

Noble comes off the top and hits Psicosis with a DOUBLE STOMP! Noble drags him to his feet as Psicosis gasps for air. He hooks him up and plants him with a snap suplex. Cover 1…2…KICKOUT! Noble digs his forearm into the face and covers again 1…2…SHOULDER UP!

JBL: This could end without Kendrick even in there Michael. And you know what happens if that happens on Sunday right?

Cole: New tag team champions.

JBL: That’s right. Champions can lose their belt without getting pinned. Teddy Long put me in a lot of those while I was champion. That’s why I hate that Peanut Headed George Jefferson wannabe.

Kendrick climbs back up on the apron as Noble and Psicosis are back to their feet again. Noble hooks him up for the Tiger Driver, but Kendrick springboards over both men and into a SUNSET FLIP ON NOBLE! 1…2…BROKEN UP BY PSICOSIS! Psicosis picks up Noble and hits a gut wrench suplex. Before he can follow up Kendrick grabs him and tries to whip him off the ropes, but Psicosis reverses and sends Kendrick in. Super Crazy pulls the ropes down sending Kendrick crashing down to the floor!

Cole: Well you had to know sooner or later one of these men on the outside was going to influence the action, but I didn’t think it would be Super Crazy!

London comes bounding around the corner and leaps at Crazy! He starts throwing punches and they fall to the ground brawling. The referee tries to yell at them to separate while in the ring Psicosis climbs the turnbuckles. Kash leaps onto the apron and pushes Psicosis off the top! Noble locks him in the GUILLOTINE CHOKE! The referee turns around just in time to see Psicosis frantically tapping out.

Rating: 69/73/82

JBL: Big win for The Pitbulls Michael! I told you I liked these guys for a reason.

Cole: But they didn’t beat the champions.

JBL: On Sunday it aint gonna matter Michael! A win gives you the belts no matter who it’s against.

Cole: That match is going to be a classic that’s for sure. Let’s go to the back for some words with Mr. Kennedy!

Persistence

We go backstage to Kristal Marshall standing next to Mr. Kennedy who is dressed in street clothes. Before Kristal can even get one word out Kennedy snatches the microphone away from her.

Kennedy: Beat it honey. A man of my stature can handle this on my own.

Kristal frowns but quickly leaves the area.

Kennedy: Ok then. Down to business.

Gunner Scott storms into the interview area.

Scott: So you think you got me?

Kennedy smiles.

Kennedy: I know I got you. And I must admit it wasn’t that hard.

Scott: So if I’m so easy to deal with try me in the ring. Give me a rematch!

Kennedy: Gunner Gunner Gunner. I’ve beaten everyone and the fact is you’ve beaten no one. Beat someone that matters and maybe we can talk.

Scott: I thought you might say that. Well you sit right back here and watch then. You may have done it to me last week, but I did this!

Scott storms off screen.

Scott: I DID THIS!

The show goes to commercial with Kennedy looking interested.

Rating: 57%

The show comes back on the air with Gunner standing in the ring with a referee.

Cole: Fans we are back on Friday Night Smackdown and we have Gunner Scott in the ring for what I’m guessing is a challenge he came up with.

JBL: He wants a match with Mr. Kennedy Michael. But what did he ever do to deserve it?

Cole: Gunner Scott is an up and coming young competitor. He pushed Kennedy to his limit. I think he deserves the match.

JBL: We’ll see if he beats this flunky he hired first Michael. I wonder where he found the jobber he is surely about to face.

The Great Khali’s music begins to play and the massive man enters the arena accompanied by Daivari.

Cole: This has to be a mistake. Gunner Scott couldn’t possibly…

Scott looks pumped up and signals for Khali to “bring it” into the ring.

JBL: Doesn’t look like it Michael. Gunner Scott is crazy. He wants to take on this monster two days before he gets locked in the Punjabi Prison?!? I wouldn’t want anywhere near this animal.

Cole: Gunner Scott just wants to prove himself John. He wants to make it here on Smackdown. This is a huge way to start though and I hope he doesn’t regret it.

Gunner Scott vs. The Great Khali with Daivari

Daivari points towards the ring and Khali climbs over the top rope and inside. Gunner gives him no time to get his bearings and attacks! Gunner peppers him with a series of rapid fire punches that seem to confuse the big man more than actually hurt him. Gunner switches it up and unloads a chop on him with little to no effect.

JBL: He can’t even hurt the big man Michael!

Scott backs up and charges at Khali. Khali comes out of the corner with a BIG BOOT! Scott slides underneath it! Basement dropkick to the knee of Khali. Khali stumbles and Scott hits him with another one! Scott bounces off the ropes, but this time Khali connects with the BIG BOOT! Scott does a flip before landing on the canvas. Khali looks over to Daivari who claps and nods his approval. Khali goes to pick Scott up off the canvas, but he crawls in between the big man’s legs! He comes out on the other side and leaps onto his back! SLEEPER HOLD BY GUNNER! The fans cheer a bit as Khali flails away.

Cole: He may have him! JBL we could be on the verge of a huge upset here!

JBL: Gunner is like a bug Khali just can’t squish Michael! This kid is showing me something here. I can’t believe it.

Daivari is jumping up and down on the outside upset as Khali looks like he might be starting to fade. Finally Khali stumbles back and crushes Scott in the corner. Khali steps back out, but GUNNER HOLDS ON! He crushes him in the corner one more time and GUNNER HOLDS ON! Khali reaches over his head with both hands and plants one on each side of Scott’s head. He grabs him and flips Gunner over his head and to the mat! Khali yells out in anger and wraps both hands around Gunner’s throat. CHOKE POWERBOMB BY KHALI! He covers him for the academic 1…2…3!

Rating: 48/53/56

Cole: I don’t know about you, but I think Khali was surprised here tonight JBL.

Khali shakes his head as Daivari directs him towards the back.

JBL: I gotta agree Michael. I have a feeling Khali thought he would have an easier time of it here tonight. Gunner gave it a go, but bottom line is he still doesn’t get to fight Mr. Kennedy.

Cole: Well I think he should JBL! That was impressive enough for me.

JBL: Well that’s why you aren’t the future of Smackdown Michael.

Cole: Speaking of the future of Smackdown we have to take a break, but we still have that big tag team match up, Rey Mysterio defending against THE UNDERTAKER! And after the break the animal is unleashed. BATISTA IS UP NEXT ON FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN!

Hardship

A montage of shots of a run down city block is shown as a voiceover plays.

Voice: I grew up on these rough streets. Not knowing who I could trust and not knowing who my real friends were. My parents left me long ago. I’ve always been alone, but I’ve always had my principles and I’ve always had my pride. While my peers turned to drugs and alcohol I turned to training. Alcohol free, drug free, my only addiction in this world is competition…

My name is CM Punk

Rating: 84%

Back into the arena and we see Big Guido standing in the ring. Strangely absent from the scene are the FBI and Paul Heyman and this seems to make the big man sad as he looks like he wants to be anywhere, but in the ring right now.

Cole: JBL we are back and it looks like Batista wanted to take on a big man before his match up against Mark Henry this Sunday. Perhaps a little tune up?

JBL: Ha. Well this guy might be big Michael, but he aint no good that’s for sure. He’s not as big as Mark Henry, he’s not as strong as Mark Henry, and he damn sure can’t fight like Mark Henry.

Batista’s music hits and the crowd pops bigger than it has most of the night. They come to their feet as the Animal makes his way into the arena. He decides to forego his usual posing and heads straight to the ring.

Cole: Batista is all business here tonight John. He is getting geared up for the battle six months in the making against Mark Henry at the Great American Bash!

Big Guido vs. Batista

Batista charges straight into the ring and tackles Guido! Batista hits some mounted punches and then drags Guido to his feet. Batista signals thumbs down and hooks Guido in position for the BATISTA BOMB! Guido backdrops out of it sending Batista crashing down to the mat. He follows it up with an elbow drop and goes for a cover 1…KICKOUT! Batista springs up to his feet looking angry. Guido gets to his feet and Batista runs him down with a shoulder block. Back to his feet and Batista runs Guido down again!

Cole: Batista has built up this rage for six month JBL and it’s about to EXPLODE!

Batista measures Guido and lifts the big man up for a STANDING SPINEBUSTER! The crowd cheers as Batista yells out to them. Thumbs up? Batista shakes his head. THUMBS DOWN! He pulls Big Guido into position and hits the BATISTA BOMB! Cover 1…2…BATISTA PULLS HIM UP! Batista grins as he goes back to his feet. He grabs Guido by the head and drags over 300 pounds of dead weight up off the mat and hits another BATISTA BOMB! 1…2…3!

Rating: 61/65/72

Batista’s music begins to play, but the show quickly cuts to the back.

A giving King

King Booker sits forlorn with his court by his side. Finlay and Regal both seem distressed as well by the king’s mood.

Booker: Finlay what news of your midget comrade?

Finlay and Regal share a confused glance.

Finlay: Well my king. He’s gone back to Ireland to…

Sharmell comes running up.

Booker: SILENCE! What news my queen?

Sharmell: My lord there are still many here loyal to your reign. Through them I have learned that Bobby Lashley has chosen Matt Hardy as his partner here tonight.

Booker: Very well. I have chosen William Regal as mine. Sir Regal! Will you serve me here tonight?

Regal: My life for you my liege.

Finlay looks disappointed.

Booker: Finlay my loyal soldier. This distresses you?

Finlay: Well…I do like to fight.

Booker: Ha ha! Yes you do my friend yes you do. And you do face this Matt Hardy on Sunday do you not?

Finlay: I do sir.

Booker: Finlay you have always been loyal to me and that is important. So you may have my spot tonight. Your gracious king is going to take the night off just for you.

Finlay let’s an evil smile cross his face as the show goes to commercial.

Rating: 57%

The show comes back on the air with King Booker’s music playing and the king walking down the aisle with Finlay and Regal by his side. Regal and Finlay climb into the ring as King Booker makes his way over towards the announce position.

Cole: Oh great,

JBL: Shut up Michael Cole. We are about to be graced by…royalty.

Cole: For the last time ever if Lashley has anything to say about it.

JBL: Michael! You better not repeat that when he gets over here.

Booker grabs the third headset as JBL stands in reverence of the King. Michael Cole just sits in his seat looking disgusted.

JBL: Get on your feet Michael Cole!

Before Cole can be forced into servitude Lashley’s music hits and he makes his way out accompanied by Matt Hardy. They play to the crowd for a bit and then make their way into the ring to confront their opponents. Finlay and Regal begin talking trash to their opponents and Hardy and Lashley are all too happy to give it right back to them.

Booker: Look at my subjects in there. Are they not worthy of a man such as myself?

JBL: They are King Booker. And I am sure they’ll dispatch of these two quicker than Matt Hardy can post on his website about losing his little girlfriend a YEAR AGO.

Cole: Speaking of your subjects. I see they are fighting your battle there for you Booker. Don’t you want to fight Lashley?

JBL: Michael! Don’t make me knock you upside the head.

Booker: That’s ok JBL. Not all peasants show respect for their king. Michael Cole I will face Lashley when I am good and ready.

Finlay and William Regal vs. Bobby Lashley and Matt Hardy

In the ring Hardy starts the match off against Finlay. Finlay quickly takes him down with a snapmare and hits a series of knee strikes to the back of Hardy’s neck. Finlay locks in a rear chin lock as the announcers continue to talk.

Cole: So Booker you seem just a little too confident going into a match with your career on the line.

Booker: If you were a king would you not be confident Michael? Would you not already know that you were coming out victorious?

Cole: Not if I was facing Bobby Lashley.

Booker: Maybe that’s why you’re nothing, but a lowly peasant. OH! Look at that move by Finlay!

In the ring Finlay plants Hardy with a powerslam, but Hardy kicks out at 2.

JBL: That’s right Michael! A peasant who is going to get a beat down once the king leaves.

Booker: JBL I thank you for that, but my subjects are allowed to speak freely in this kingdom.

Cole: Well freely speaking I think you ducked out of this match because you are afraid of what Lashley might do to you after Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Regal is tagged into the match and continues the punishment right where Finlay left off.

Booker: Michael Cole you peasant what I call…What you call cowardice I call strategy. There was nothing to gain from fighting tonight. Plus look how happy my court is up there. It makes my royal heart proud to see them. NO! Get on him Regal!

In the ring Regal telegraphs a back drop allowing Hardy to hit him with a DDT! Hardy starts to crawl towards his corner, but Finlay charges across the ring and knocks Lashley off the apron! He kicks Hardy in the side of the head before going back to his corner. Regal makes it to his feet and delivers some uppercuts to Hardy before grabbing a double underhook and hitting the BUTTERFLY POWERBOMB! Cover 1…2…KICKOUT BY HARDY! Regal looks frustrated as he picks Hardy up and props him against the corner. He goes to deliver a forearm, but Hardy blocks it and hits the SIDE EFFECT! Regal is down and out. Hardy begins crawling towards his corner as Finlay tries to come in again, but at the last second Hardy leaps out and makes the TAG TO LASHLEY!

Cole: Here we go Booker!

Finlay charges straight into a SPEAR! He rolls out of the ring and Lashley just waits as Regal stumbles up to his feet. SPEAR FOR REGAL! Lashley turns towards the announce booth and points at Booker with angry look on his face.

Booker: Me?!? How dare you point at me?

Booker stands and throws down his headset as in the ring Lashley picks Regal up for a RUNNING POWERSLAM! Cover 1…2…3!

Rating: 60/69/64

Cole: Have we seen King Booker on Smackdown for the last time? We’ll find out this Sunday at the Great American Bash!

JBL: God help us if we have Michael.

Concern

Backstage Rey Mysterio is jumping up and down and stretching for his match when in walks Chavo Guerrero.

Mysterio: Chavito!

Rey gives him a hug, but Chavo has a grim look on his face.

Chavo: Rey. I don’t know about this match tonight. Don’t you think that you are pushing it this close to your match with Sabu?

Mysterio: Maybe I am. But I respect The Undertaker and he deserves this shot so I am willing to give it to him.

Chavo: But you have to look out for your health.

Mysterio: (smiling) That’s what I have you for hermano.

Rey grabs title and leaves as Chavo watches just shaking his head.

Rating: 83%

We come back on the air with some shots of the very excited crowd. The crowd gets even more excited as Rey Mysterio’s music hits and the champion is shot up into the arena. He holds the title up for everyone to see and slaps some hands on the way down to the ring.

Cole: Rey may be smiling now, but will he be smiling after he faces Sabu?

JBL: Michael. He isn’t going to be smiling about 30 seconds from now. Forget Sabu. He may not even make it to Sabu.

Rey hops over the top and into the ring and the lights go out. The crowd cheers as the bell tolls and The Undertaker walks out onto the ramp. The crowd continues to cheer The Undertaker until from behind comes THE GREAT KHALI! He grabs Taker and begins choking him down from behind. Rey looks down towards the entrance looking worried.

Cole: Damn it! Damn it! Khali is ruining our main event!

The lights come back on and in the ring is SABU! Sabu charges with chair in hand and nails Rey in the back of the head! Rey slumps against the middle rope and Sabu drops the chair for a moment.

Cole: He wouldn’t dare!

JBL: So what’s the area code for Bombay Michael!

Sabu charges across the ring and hits Rey with the 619! On the ramp Undertaker is down to his knees as Khali has both hands around his throat. Paul Heyman walks out onto the stage accompanied by Daivari. Both men have big smiles on their faces.

Cole: This had to be a plan! They had to have had this planned all along.

JBL: It’s genius Michael. I love it!

Sabu hits Rey repeatedly with the chair as the Undertaker drops all the way down to the ground. Sabu throws the chair down again and locks in the CAMEL CLUTCH!

Cole: Fans I’m sorry that this group of jerks ruined what would have been a great title match. They may be riding high now, but I guarantee you they will get what’s coming to them this Sunday!

JBL: Michael I can’t wait for The Great American Bash!

Cole: We’ll see you this Sunday on PPV! Goodnight everybody!

The show ends with both men still locked in their holds as Heyman and Daivari shake hands.

Overall Card Rating: 64%

T.V. Rating: 6.04

Attendance: 7037

[El Presidente]

Alright, alright, alright. Now I can start feedback-ing the shows one by one.

Unfortunately for you, the cruiserweight division is dead, and the only possible contenders for the belt are Psicosis, Super Crazy, Kendrick, London, Kid Kash, and Jamie Noble, but I like seeing them in the tag team division instead, because that's probably even more dead than the cruiserweight division. I want to see where you're going with this, though. I'd probably have someone pick up a fluke win over Helms in a non-title match, and maybe do it twice, to get Helms pissed enough to get him a match on a pay per view. It might not take the title off him, but it'll give the division some credibility again.

Mexicools/Pitbulls/Hooligans at the pay per view should steal the show.

Now Kennedy/Scott.. Eh. I like them both, don't get me wrong, but I think Kennedy's much higher up in status than Scott. You did make Scott look strong against Khali, which is something I like and I think mentioned before, but I'd still like to see Kennedy in a bigger storyline.

CM Punk is coming. Maybe this could add to your cruiserweight division, and eventually bring him up to the US division.

Haha, Booker T basically screwed Regal and Finlay into fighting the match for him, I love it, it's something I can definitely see him doing. Lashley picks up the win, as usual, and keeps looking like an unbeatable monster. I'd like to see Booker beating him at the Bash.

Khali beats Taker, and Sabu beats Rey. This gives them some good heel heat going into the pay per view, for ruining the main event and beating possibly the two most over faces on the roster, in a match that everyone wanted to see happen. Good job on your part.

I believe GAB is next, and I bet the guy Long was talking to on the phone is the guy facing the new ECW superstar, or could be. Unless you make Gunner Scott the new ECW superstar and have him face Kennedy in a hardcore match, and finally give Scott a win. Either way, I'm intrigued to see how this pay per view will turn out. I would do a predictions thing, but I don't know if that's the full card yet, or if I should wait for you to post something.. or maybe if I shouldn't do it at all .

Anyway, solid Smackdown!, booked very realistically, and it kept me hooked to see what would happen next. Good job.

[El Presidente]

Alright, here's my predictions for the Bash.

Sabu vs. Rey Mysterio ©

- I just like the idea of seeing Sabu and Heyman walking around with the World Heavyweight Championship for a while, with every Smackdown! superstar trying their best to get it back. I might be wrong here, I can see many things happening in this match, but unless there's a Heyman swerve to help Mysterio retain, I see this is the best option.

Mark Henry vs. Batista

- I'll be disappointed if it doesn't end this way, I don't even mind Mark Henry, but Batista needs to win this match.

The Great Khali vs. The Undertaker

- I'd love to see Khali get buried so badly that he disappears off television for a while. It's probably everyone's dream. Luckily in real life it's gonna' happen this week, hopefully it happens here too .

King Booker vs. Lashley ©

- Well, well, well. I had two options here. Either King Booker would win the match and stay on Smackdown! or King Booker would lose the match and go to RAW in exchange for Shelton Benjamin. Since I see the second option as the one that's going to be coming true, I'm gonna' say Lashley wins the match. What makes me think that the most is that Booker is way too high up the card to be winning the US title, and Smackdown! doesn't have many stars that are as over as he is at this point. Bringing him back down to the US division would be a mistake, so I see him going to RAW.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

- To be honest, I just have a strong dislike for Matt Hardy, and this match was kinda' just thrown on the card for no reason other than to get these guys a match. If that's the case, Finlay shouldn't lose.

Paul Heyman's Newest ECW Star vs. ???

- Gunner Scott vs. Ken Kennedy maybe? If not, Heyman's new star wins anyway.

The Mexicools vs. The Pitbulls vs. The Hooligans ©

- I like this match, show stealer by far, but I still don't think the other teams are ready to win it. Plus, this diary has been very realistic, and so far there's been something very WWE-ish done with this feud. The Pitbulls had the upper hand one week, The Mexicools the next, while The Hooligans have only been on the opposite side of attacks and screwjobs. In my opinion, that implies that they'll be retaining their belts, I could be wrong though, I could see The Pitbulls winning this match.

[Draevyn]

Raw Feedback

Okay, here we go. I said sometime, and in actuality I was simply waiting till I was more awake. So onto Raw we go.

-Maybe it’s because I don’t watch the show, but what did “My name Is Earl” have to do with anything? I loved the baseball slide when Benjamin tried to skin the cat and real life, and it’s a pretty cool visual with Nitro’s entrance as well. Would have been cool for Nitro to have been hit with the Chick Kick after The MaTrish. Figured Carlito and Trish would pick up the win after being beaten at Saturday Night.

-Ah okay, when I first saw “Loser Leaves” in your sig, my first thought was “Yeah right, it’s not gonna happen” but as stated, it’s only for the rest of the year which leaves time for them to come back and start a feud heading into Wrestlemania. Not that they will, but that possibility is open. Hey this Diva Search thing could be a good way to bring back Kidman. Have Torrie win it, and then have Kidman return, aligned with DX. What? It could happen

-The tag match was an alright match, but kind of blah with the finish. That evil smirk makes me wonder whether or not Heyman is constructing a massive blow out within The Extremists which seems weird for wanting a group like his to implode.

-Okay, so who’s using who here? There’s no way you’re going to pair them up in a romantic relationship. Right? RIGHT?!! I’m hoping it’s Trish who’s pulling the strings cause evil Trish rules more than current Trish.

-I was about to ask whatever happened to Eugene and Snitsky, but then Eugene comes for the save so it answered my question. So now I’m wondering if Estrada was injured in game, or you don’t like him, or maybe it’s just an easy way to start that running wild of Umaga.

-LoL, although I don’t know why JR and King would be cursing, I like that added touch. Rey Misterio dig was great. I still don’t like that little midget. Well, there goes my Kidman idea. You’re all about killing the dreams of men, aren’t ya TGC.

-Poor Cade. Why does nobody like him? Sure he’s got no personality, but the man has skills. Somewhat. Okay I just have a soft spot for Cade. Okay, I really want to see Naked Lilian. Sure she has the Slaughter Chin, but damn it, the rest of her is good. So if he’s over Viscera, and has moved on, why does he keep appearing after Visc’s matches?

-LMAO! The Highlanders are about a week behind the WWE, and about months behind history, seeing as Cade and Murdoch haven’t been champs in like, how long? I actually can’t remember but I know it’s been awhile. Nice gimmick.

-Awww, I thought Cena was going to do the Incredible Hulk line. The hell is a Chain Gang match? Nevermind. The strap match’s bastard child. Sandman doesn’t care and let the caning ensue. Not sure it’s working to put Cena over, but that’s okay. It still works out with the matches, and I’m pretty sure Cena’s going over next week.

-The Spirit Squad? Again? 5 on 1 assault, oh yippee. DX wins, no big surprise, but damn, Vince and company were a little late on that one weren’t they? Ah I see, I was right about the split of The Spirit Squad. Still not interested though. Meh.

-What, no hype to tune in next week? Ah well, you know I’ll still be reading.

-Look at that little bastard above, trying to steal my thunder. Just cause I’m like a show behind every time. I’ve never seen these two bring the workrate like this.

[ROZAY]

Haven't had any time to really read any diaries (let alone work on my own), but I put this diary at the top of my list to read.

*checks*

Wait... four shows to read?!

*sighs*

Guess I should've checked before I decided on putting this at the top of my list... *grumbles*

Anyway, I'm going to try something different for my feedback to make it more organized and sort of more in-depth. I'll be doing three paragraphs: What I Like, What I Didn't Like, and my Overall Opinion of the show.

So...

Thoughts on JHS's 7/14 (no witty jokes here) edition of Smackdown!

What I DID Like: First and foremost, one of the highlights of your part of the diary continues to be JBL's commentary. A lot of diary writers have trouble with commentary, making it seem very bland or generic, or sometimes too over-the-top. Although everyone seems to write for Michael Cole the same way a lot of people write for the main announcers, you've really captured JBL's skills at being a color commentator and it easily shows in this diary. I'm liking where you are going with your tag division. Adding the team of Kash & Noble to mix it up with London & Kendrick and the Mexicools can result in a really decent combinations of matches. Add another team or two into the mix, and you've really got something going and can begin a re-building phase of sorts of the tag division. I also liked Long foiling Booker's plans for later on in the evening. It builds up the rest of the evening as well as the tension between Long and Booker. I hope you continue this storyline you've got going between the two, as it's developing into something real interesting. Bobby Lashley being kept strong as U.S champion and one of your top stars is good as well. Mysterio's passion in his promo with Heyman was a nice touch, as you rarely see that in a lot of Mysterio promos. Loving the portrayal of Mr. Kennedy being an arrogant, cowardly heel, and Mark Henry being made into a monster by destroying Gunner.

Khali: aiufdasijdaaijajaamdlskfmds UNDERTAKER adjdpdaoa[jffmaa[[ KILL udfsismaidieem UNDERTAKER!

[Your Mom]

Tragedy strikes a WWE Superstar: Kane seriously injured

On his way to his scheduled Smackdown debut at the Great American Bash pay per view event tonight WWE Superstar Kane was involved in a tragic car accident. Initial reports tell us that Kane suffered a broken neck. While he is in stable condition this kind of injury will take at least a year to heal and the former WWE Champion's in ring career may be over.

All of us at the WWE wish Kane a healthy recovery and we are setting up an email and postal address in the coming days if fans wish to do the same.

[TGC]

Where Oh Where Is Estrada?

by KC Villington

That's the question the fans across the wrestling world have been asking for the last few weeks as Umaga has been running wild on Raw. The one man, the only man, who could control the undefeated Samoan Bulldozer Umaga has disappeared, leaving Umaga to do as he pleases. So where is Estrada?

"I had to deal with some personal issues, and thankfully Mr. McMahon and the rest of WWE management were ready to help me help myself when I came to them," Estrada said via a phone conversation from the substance rehabilitation clinic he has been staying at. "I told them about my problems before the wellness program found it, and they offered to help me out. I can't express my appreciation for that."

But what of Umaga? Does Estrada have anyway he can control his monster?

"I have someone who knows my Samoan Bulldozer very well, and he's coming to Raw very, very, very soon to take over what I am currently unable to do. Nobody can stop my Samoan Bulldozer, ha ha."

So when can we expect Estrada to return?

"When I'm healthy and when I'm ready. In the meantime, just remember that when I do come back, the reign of terror will be even more focused and more deadly. Everyone better be afraid."

We here at wwe.com wish Armando Alejandro Estrada the best of luck and a speedy recovery.

[Draevyn]

Smackdown Feedback

-Starting the show with Helms is a good thing. Loved his work in WCW, and funnily enough, I also enjoyed him as The Hurricane. Who would have thought that gimmick would work at first. I never did. I love Helms demanding to defend his title. Really shows his cockiness, and you’ve got me intrigued as to who the unlucky nine are going to be. I say nine because we all know he’s going to lose the final one. Scotty 2 Hotty as the first choice, which leads me to believe that Funaki will be choice number two. Damn, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen a Helms match, but does he do the Instant Replay thing? Cause if not, way to go with that one. Shining Wizard completes the basic squash, giving Helms the win. Way to go.

-Nice segment which gets two things done. Long on the phone with who I think is Benjamin, and Lashley demanding his match, which is now a tag team match. Booker picks Finlay...maybe...

-Nice taste of GAB. I’ve got to cheer for Kendrick here, but Noble could win and I wouldn’t be upset. You’ve definitely got the style of one of these matches going with that first paragraph, ending with the dive. I liked that. Looks like Noble is channeling the spirit of Senshi and Tajiri with that double stomp. Well, Noble won so it’s all good, but someone needs to smack that Mexican bastard Super Crazy.

-Wait. Scott did what? What is “This”? Ohhhhhhh, he did thaaaaattttt. He shouldn’t have done that. I remember them comparing him to Benoit upon his debut, but Benoit would have more brains than this. There is courage, and then there is stupidity. Well damn, not sure about stats, but in real life Scott had potential, but with one chokebomb you’ve squished all that out of him.

-Okay, give me a second. Okay? Read? *MARKS THE FUCK OUT FOR PUNK* I’m sorry, but no matter what, I’m one of those guys who loves guys like Punk, Joe, Danielson. Amazing athletes, and hopefully you’ll bring him in right. The fact that he’s playing his straight edge gimmick is great, now if he just has that ferocity that he’s known to have. Not to mention, he’s to hoping he’s a heel.

-Big Guido shows emotion?!! Wow, he’s improved a lot since his ECW days. WHAT?!! No machine gun posing? This is blasphemy. Blasphemy, I tell you. Well, you’re definitely building Batista as the man on a warpath, and something tells me he’s going to get disqualified in his match against Mark Henry for being a bit too overzealous. Still, I like the build.

-Okay, I hate Booker T. I have since he started his singles career in WCW, but for some reason, I got a kick out of this segment. I think it had something to do with the old school approach that you bring to the table with your writing. It just worked so well. Not to mention Booker demanding this match and then all of a sudden simply stepping aside and putting Finlay in there.

-Come on now, you don’t expect Matt to drop the girlfriend thing this quick do you? It’s been 8 years after the Screwjob and people still bring that up. <<<See. Poor Regal, always taking a beating for someone else. Lashley is such a waste of space. Makes me miss the days of guys like Regal and such. Now I’ve got to listen to Bon Jovi’s “Last Man Standing” and I’m afraid I’m the only one who’s going to get that reference.

-Simply waiting for the Chavo heel turn in here, much like it was in real life.

-Loved JBL’s quip about Bombay’s area code. Well, seeing as this was a “Non-Match” I can’t really comment on the match, but I will comment on the “Where was Chavo” thought that I had. Maybe Rey will be asking that in a few days time.

-This was show kind of hit and miss, but I think I liked more than I didn’t like, which is a good thing. It’s definitely got me interested in the pay-per-view, and for the first time in a long while, I can say I’m interested in a Rey Misterio match. Good job JHS. Now get that show done

[Your Mom]

WWE Great American Bash 2006

Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield are your announce team

Missing?

The pay per view comes on the air with Teddy Long running around frantic backstage talking to anyone he can find.

Long: Have you seen Rey Mysterio? Is here yet? I can’t find Rey Mysterio!

Everyone just shakes their head or shrugs their shoulders depending on their interest as Long continues his search.

Long: Oh this is no good. NO GOOD!

Teddy runs off screen as the show goes into the opening video montage.

Rating: 71%

Fireworks go off inside the arena and the camera scans the over 15,000 excited fans who have sold out the show here tonight.

Cole: We are live here on Pay Per View! This is the Great American Bash! I’m Michael Cole along with John Bradshaw Layfield. Partner what do you make of this Rey Mysterio situation?

JBL: Michael. I think Rey finally got some brains to go with that machismo and skipped town. He realized what Sabu would do to him and decided to turn tail so to speak.

Cole: I just can’t believe that. Rey was hurt on Smackdown two days ago. Maybe that has something to do with it? (The Pitbulls music starts playing) Or maybe Paul Heyman has something to do with this? But right now we have action!

JBL: Here come the new tag team champions Michael! This is going to be a good one.

The Pitbulls climb up into the ring and drop their chains in the corner.

Cole: Jamie Noble did pick up the win for his team on Smackdown, but with all six men active in this one I think it may be a little bit different this time.

The Mexicools are out next and they come out without the lawnmowers this time looking more focused on the match at hand. They still play to the fans a bit, but are quick to get down to the ring.

JBL: Look at these guys Michael. All four are focused on just one thing. That’s winning those titles!

Next up are London and Kendrick and they charge the ring full speed, but before they can take their masks off both of them are attacked! The Pitbulls pound down London while The Mexicools do the same to Kendrick. They toss the champions out of the ring and then face off as the match is about to begin.

JBL: See what I mean Michael? They already took them out of it!

The Pitbulls vs. The Mexicools vs. London and Kendrick (Champions) WWE Tag Team Titles

Crazy starts off with Kid Kash and the bell rings to get this one underway. Crazy moves in for a lock up and catches a kick to the gut. Kash hooks him up in suplex position. He brings him up for the BRAINBUSTER! Crazy drops behind him. Roll up 1…2…KICKOUT! Clothesline attempt by Kash is ducked. Backslide by Crazy 1…2…KICKOUT! Both men back up and they face off. The crowd cheers as Kash throws a wild punch, blocked by Crazy. Crazy fires back with a series of punches of his own. Crazy goes for a kick, but it’s caught ENZIGUIRI BY CRAZY! Cover 1…2…SHOULDER UP! Crazy hits a body slam and makes the tag to Psicosis who is already climbing the corner. TOP ROPE LEGDROP!

Cole: THAT’S IT! This one is over!

1…2…NOBLE MAKES THE SAVE! Crazy comes in and they begin brawling. The referee tries to separate them, but Noble hooks him up sends Crazy down with a BELLY TO BELLY OVER THE TOP ROPES! The crowd gasps as Crazy makes a dull thud on the ground below. Noble runs Psicosis down with a clothesline then quickly picks him back up for the TIGER DRIVER! 1…2…SAVE BY LONDON! Irish whip by London and he hits the dropsault on Noble who rolls out to the floor. London nips up to his feet fired up, but Kash grabs him in waist lock. RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Kash gets to his feet and out of nowhere it’s Kendrick with a SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK!

JBL: Michael this match is out of control already. This referee needs to do something.

Cole: I say let them go! This is fast paced excitement like only we can do!

Kendrick notices Psicosis getting to his feet and cuts him off with a knee lift. Kendrick whips him into the corner. He charges in and monkey flips Psicosis out of the corner. Psicosis lands on his feet and hits a flying wheel kick on Kendrick. Suplex by Psicosis and he makes a tag to Crazy. Crazy heads to the top and comes off with a MOONSAULT! Cover 1…2…SAVE BY NOBLE! Crazy gets up and starts arguing with Noble as the referee sends Noble to his corner. He turns back to Kendrick and gets caught in a small package! 1…2…KICKOUT! Crazy gets right back to his feet and lands a kick to the chest of Kendrick sending him down. Crazy snaps off a leg drop and covers 1…2…SHOULDER UP! Crazy goes to the corner and begins to climb, but Kash pulls his ankle crotching him on the top ropes. The referee signals the tag, but Kendrick doesn’t notice as he shoots up the ropes to grab Crazy. TOP ROPE HURICANRANA ON CRAZY! Cover by Kendrick…KASH COMES OFF THE TOP WITH A FLYING ELBOW ON KENDRICK!

JBL: New champions Michael! New champions!

Kash rolls Kendrick over for the cover 1…2…SAVE BY LONDON! Noble comes in and grabs London. It’s a four way brawl as things quickly spiral out of control again. Psicosis comes in as well and attacks Kash. All four men trade punches as Kendrick struggles to recover and Crazy rolls to the floor. Kash uses leverage and grabs Psicosis by the tights and tosses him to the floor. Kendrick is up. He grabs Kash! Noble has London! SLICED BREAD NUMBER 2! TIGER DRIVER! 1…2…3!

Rating: 70/71/86

JBL: I told you Michael! NEW CHAMPIONS!

Kendrick and Noble both get up looking excited.

Cole: But wait a second John! Kendrick pinned Kid Kash too.

JBL: It doesn’t matter Michael! Jamie Noble put Paul London down for 3! New Champions!

The referee runs over to ring announcer Tony Chimel as both Kendrick and Noble still can’t figure it out.

Cole: Maybe you were right JBL. I’m not so sure now.

Kash and London are helped up by their partners as Chimel nods. The referee orders London and Kendrick out of the ring as the announcement is made.

Chimel: The referee has informed me that he only counted the pin on the legal man. Therefore the winners of the match and STILL WWE tag team champions PAUL LONDON AND BRIAN KENDRICK!

Their music begins to play and they grab their belts as in the ring The Pitbulls are furious.

JBL: I can’t believe it Michael! The Pitbulls should be the champions right now.

Cole: Fans we’ll have to review the tape on this one, but I’ll trust that the referee made the right call. London and Kendrick are still champions.

The show quickly cuts to the back with Teddy Long questioning Jillian Hall.

Long: So you haven’t seen Rey anywhere? Or heard anyone say where he might be?

Hall: Sorry Mr. Long no.

Long is about to thank her as Chavo walks by with a purpose. Teddy quickly switches focus and follows Chavo.

Long: Chavo. (Chavo keeps walking) Chavo! CHAVO HOLD UP PLAYA!

Chavo continues to walk until he reaches an unmarked locker room and enters. Long tries to follow, but finds the door quickly slammed in his face.

Long: What the hell is going on here tonight?

Long sulks as we go back inside the arena just in time for “This is Extreme” to begin playing and Paul Heyman to start strutting down the aisle with a smile on his face.

Cole: Paul Heyman looks a bit too confident here tonight JBL. And where is Rey Mysterio? I don’t like this at all.

JBL: Heyman is up to something tonight Michael. I tell you I’d love to just go up there and clothesline his balding head off right now.

Paul Heyman’s ECW Challenge

Heyman makes it into the ring and takes the microphone from Tony Chimel.

Heyman: I’m a very busy man tonight. There are a lot of things happening for ECW so let’s get the challenger out here right now.

With very little delay the music hits and out comes Gunner Scott! He gets a few cheers from the fans as he makes his way down the aisle and into the ring.

Heyman: Big surprise. Is there any challenge you don’t raise your hand for?

Gunner shakes his head.

Heyman: Well then Gunner Scott. I give to you and this audience the man who was too EXTREME for a WWE ring. The man who was too EXTREME for Stacy Keibler’s bed. Smackdown! Say hello to TEST!

Test makes his way into the arena snarling and looking generally angry to an underwhelming reaction. He yells some generic putdowns at them on the way to the ring trying to work them up with marginal success.

Cole:…TEST! What a pick up by Paul Heyman here JBL.

JBL: He’s a big strong guy Michael. Gunner is probably about to get the snot stomped out of him again.

Heyman retreats to the floor as Test stops to grab some weaponry from under the ring. He grabs a trash can and throws it over the top into the ring. He does the same with a few metal cookie sheets and climbs up onto the apron. Test goes to climb over the top and into the ring, but gets caught halfway when Gunner pops him in the head with one of the cookie sheets. The bell rings as Scott takes a second big swing bending the sheet over Test’s head! The crowd cheers as Gunner hops to the second turnbuckle and DROPKICKS TEST TO THE FLOOR! Heyman looks frantic as Test struggles to recover. Test stumbles to his feet and Gunner slingshots over the top with a PLANCHA!

JBL: Good lord! Why doesn’t he do this every match Michael? This kid is hotter than the club I was drinking my beer at last night.

Cole: Gunner is focused here tonight with only one goal in mind and no one is going to stop him!

Scott picks Test up and body slams him down in the aisle way. Gunner climbs to one end of the apron. He charges across the ring and comes off with a SPLASH! Cover by Scott…No referee.

Cole: There may be no rules in these ECW matches, but falls still have to take place in the ring.

JBL: You got him hurt kid. Get him in the ring!

Gunner finally notices and drags Test up and throws him back into the ring. Heyman begins creeping towards him, but Scott notices and with one step backs him down. He turns and climbs into the ring and right into a RUNNING BIG BOOT! Heyman cheers as Test pauses for a moment to shake out the cobwebs before continuing the beat down. The match progresses for a few tedious minutes with Test hitting some high impact moves and a few cookie sheet shots.

Heyman: That’s enough Test. END IT!

Test picks up the prone Scott and applies a full nelson. FULL NELSON BOMB! Test signals he is going to end it and begins climbing the corner. Test raises his arm and comes off the top with a FLYING ELBOW DROP! Gunner rolls out of the way! Heyman’s mouth drops open as Test crashes elbow and shoulder first into the mat. Scott begins pulling himself up as Heyman hurriedly reaches for his cell phone.

Cole: Who is Heyman calling?!? Someone get that away from him!

Gunner makes it to his feet at nearly the same time as Test. Test goes a clothesline and Scott ducks and goes behind into a waist lock. GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO THE TRASH CAN! Cover 1…2…KICKOUT! Scott turns him on his stomach and locks in a FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Test yells out in pain.

Cole: He calls this move the Crowbar! It looks devastating.

Gunner keeps cranking away at it until out from the back sprints Sabu! Sabu slides into the ring with a chair and Scott quickly breaks the hold and grabs a cookie sheet. The two men face off with weapons in hand. The stand off continues as Test begins to move behind Scott. Finally Sabu charges! Gunner dives out of the way and Sabu wraps the chair around Test’s head! Sabu just looks down at him as Gunner hits him in the back with the sheet causing him to spill out to the floor. He covers Test 1…2…3!

Rating: 57/54/75

Heyman begins pounding the mat in anger as Sabu gets to his feet on the outside. Heyman moves over to Sabu and both men just stare at each other.

Heyman: Don’t you talk to me like that Sabu! You WILL NOT ruin this night for us.

Test rolls out of the ring and right in front of Sabu.

Test: Hey! What’s your problem huh?

Sabu makes a fist and Heyman quickly breaks it up.

Heyman: Sabu! Test. We can discuss this in the back. Our night isn’t ruined yet.

Both men relent and begin to leave with Heyman as in the ring Gunner Scott gets to his feet.

Cole: What a big moment for Gunner Scott. He finally got what he wanted JBL. He finally…

MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KENNEDY!

JBL: All right! Gunner didn’t get what he wanted. I got what I wanted. This show needed Mr. Kennedy and now it’s got it.

Kennedy cockily struts his way down the aisle as Scott stands in the ring waiting for him.

Cole: But what is he doing here?!? I know he has a bit of an issue with Gunner, but he doesn’t have a match here tonight.

JBL: Kennedy does what he wants Michael Cole. That’s why he is the future of Smackdown.

Kennedy gets into the ring and face to face with Gunner.

Kennedy: You’re still not on my level, but you’ll get your…

Gunner takes him down into the CROWBAR! Kennedy screams out in pain and seconds later frantically taps out. After a few seconds Scott releases the hold as his music begins to play again. The crowd cheers as Gunner drops out to the floor leaving Kennedy lying in the ring.

JBL: That wasn’t a match! You know that doesn’t count Michael! Kennedy is undefeated!

Cole: Undefeated or not Gunner Scott made an impact here tonight!

The show cuts backstage to Teddy Long standing by the same door he was earlier.

Long: Chavo! Chavo? Talk to me playa!

Some arguing can be heard from down the hall as Heyman and his ECW associates make their way around the corner.

Heyman: What is it now Mr. Long? Are you not going to let us into our locker room?

Long looks confused.

Long: Your…This is…

Test moves Long away from the door.

Heyman: Yes Mr. Long. We speak English here. Get back to me when you learn it.

The three men enter and once again the door is slammed in a stupefied Teddy Long’s face.

JBL: Ha! Did you see that Peanut headed idiot? I can’t believe he is our General Manager Michael.

Cole: Frankly JBL I am just as shocked as our General manager. Chavo Guerrero was in the ECW locker room!

JBL: What?!? Well what the hell is he doing in there Michael?

Cole: I have a strange feeling it has something to do with Rey Mysterio’s disappearance. I can’t believe Chavo would do such a thing.

JBL: It’s a family tradition Michael. (King Booker’s music begins to play) But forget Chavo and Rey for now Michael. We are about to be graced.

King Booker makes his way into the arena accompanied by his Queen.

Cole: Yeah…I’m not going to miss these two at all.

JBL: Well of course not Michael. HE ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE! Feast your eyes on the new King of the United States of America. All hail the King Michael! All hail!

Booker climbs into the ring while Sharmell claps for him on the outside.

Cole: Are you trying to make me throw up? I am already sick to my stomach with Chavo and now this.

JBL: You don’t know that Chavo did anything yet Michael so shut up and enjoy the royal (Lashley’s music cuts off Booker’s) Damn it! Lashley you disrespectful son of a…

Lashley storms into the arena and wastes no time posing. He charges down the ramp and straight into the ring.

King Booker with Queen Sharmell vs. Bobby Lashley (Champion) United States Title vs. Career

Booker gets the drop on Lashley and clubs away at his back. Lashley struggles to his feet and gets caught with a stiff chop. He tries to whip Lashley off the ropes, but the big man reverses it. BACK BODY DROP! Booker rolls out to the floor to regroup.

JBL: Booker has to take this one slow Michael. He can’t over pursue because if this big Lashley grabs a hold of him he might just break him in half.

Booker slowly climbs back into the ring making sure the referee keeps Lashley back. Booker calls for a lock up, but rakes the eyes instead to take control. Booker fires off a series of jabs and then lifts Lashley up and slams him down to the mat. He smiles to the fans before bouncing off of the ropes and planting a knee drop right between the eyes. Cover 1…BIG KICKOUT! Booker moves right back in and begins choking away at Lashley. 1…2…3…4…Booker breaks the hold. He puts the choke back on 1…2…3…4…broken again.

JBL: This is good strategy by Booker here Michael. He is keeping Lashley grounded and taking away the big man’s air. I don’t think as tough as Booker is he can stand toe to toe with Bobby Lashley, but if he saps his air then the King will claim victory here tonight.

Cole: I may not like Booker’s demeanor JBL, but I wont dispute that he is a seasoned ring veteran and knows what he is doing in that ring. He’ll need all that experience to overcome the sheer power of Lashley though.

Booker switches focus and begins stomping away at Lashley’s left knee. Booker slows the match down by continuously working over the knee. He drops his full weight on it many times as well as some knee drops before finally locking in a Figure Four leg lock. Lashley looks to be in a lot of pain as Booker continues to smile.

JBL: Excellent strategy here Michael. Big trees tend to fall without their limbs.

Booker continues to wrench in the hold and Lashley’s shoulders fall to the mat 1…2…SHOULDER UP! Lashley sits up and Booker SLAPS HIM ACROSS THE FACE! Lashley begins to fume and the smile leaves Booker’s face.

Cole: Big mistake King Booker! BIG MISTAKE!

Lashley begins to turn the hold as Sharmell screams on the outside.

JBL: He’s upsetting the Queen! Make him stop Michael.

Cole: I wouldn’t dare get in Lashley’s way right now!

Booker tries to resist, but Lashley turns onto his back to reverse the Figure Four! Booker yells out, but quickly grabs the ropes causing the hold to be broken. Both men struggle to their feet with Lashley noticeably favoring his left leg. Booker hits a kick to that knee doubling Lashley over. Off the ropes SCISSORS KICK BY BOOKER T! Cover 1…2…SHOULDER UP! Booker can’t believe it as he heads to the corner and begins to climb. Sharmell claps for her man as he perches on the top measuring his opponent. Lashley makes his feet and gets hit with a MISSILE DROPKICK! Booker crawls over and makes the cover 1…2….SHOULDER UP!

JBL: That was it! Michael Cole that was 3!

Cole: It was close, but Lashley barely got that shoulder up. We could indeed be on the verge of crowning a new champion.

Booker pulls Lashley up to his feet and yells out “BOOK END!” He goes to grab him, but Lashley plants a knee in his gut. Lashley yells out in pain as he lifts Booker up and hits the DOMINATOR! Lashley grabs at his knee and is slow to go for the pin 1…2…KICKOUT!

Cole: Out of nowhere Lashley comes back! Can you believe this man?

JBL: I told you Booker needed to keep him on the mat. Lashley is deadly when he can just pick people up and chuck them like that.

Lashley drags Booker up and puts into a belly to belly, but Booker claps him on both sides of the head breaking the hold…BOOK END! Cover 1…2…3! NO! Lashley’s foot was on the bottom rope. Booker gets up dumbstruck and begins arguing with the referee.

JBL: No King no! Get on your man! FINISH HIM OFF!

Lashley makes it back to his feet as Booker continues to argue. Lashley starts to close in, but gets hit with a HARLEM SIDE KICK! Booker laughs as Lashley is down and hurt.

JBL: Ha! He is so smart Michael. All hail King Booker!

Booker sits back once again measuring Lashley for another big maneuver. The crowd cheers Lashley on as he finally makes it to his feet. Booker leaps at him with another HARLEM SIDE KICK! Lashley ducks out of the way and Booker turns around straight into a SPEAR! Cover 1…2…SHOULDER UP!

Cole: Neither man is willing to let this one end John! They are giving it everything they have!

Lashley and Booker make it to their feet and the champion summons all his energy to lift Booker up for the RUNNING POWERSLAM! Before he can drive him down Lashely’s knee gives out and Booker drops behind him. Schoolboy. Booker has the tights! 1…2…KICKOUT! Booker just loses it and begins pounding the mat. Finally he angrily drags the champion up and into position for another BOOK END! Lashley elbows out of it and lifts him up again…RUNNING POWERSLAM! Hooks the leg 1…2…3!

Rating: 69/72/83

JBL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sharmell drops to her knees on the outside weeping.

Cole: Oh yes! Bobby Lashley has retained his title in this war. And you know what that means John,

JBL: Oh god don’t say it. Don’t say it Michael!

Cole: As far as Smackdown is concerned. The King is dead! Goodbye Booker!

JBL: Michael Cole you dirty bastard! If it wouldn’t cost me my job I would lay you out right now!

Cole:…

Lashley is handed his title and is escorted to the back by the trainers who seem concerned with the shape of his knee. In the ring King Booker is still down as Sharmell finally brings herself to join her man inside. She tries to help him up as the crowd continues to cheer the victory by Lashley. Finally The Court make their way down the aisle both looking downtrodden.

JBL: This is a gut wrenching scene Michael. A great reign has come to an end here tonight. It’s time for these proud warriors to mourn with their King. I know I am mourning. The King is dead Michael. Long live the King.

Cole stays quiet as in the ring they have gotten Booker to his feet and he is talking to his court. Finlay says something, but Booker just shakes his head. Regal also looks to say something and the King relents. Both men bow one last time before Sharmell helps Booker out of the ring and towards the back.

JBL: I’m not a man who cries Michael, but this scene brings a tear to even my eye.

Finlay and Regal stand still for a moment forlorn and seemingly unsure of what to do next. Finally Finlay snaps out of it and grabs Tony Chimel’s microphone.

Finlay: Regal and I are damn well pissed! Matt Hardy. Get out here right now and we take our anger out on you!

Finlay throws down the microphone and turns back towards Regal.

Cole: He can’t be serious. He wants Matt Hardy to take them on 2 on 1?!?

JBL: Oh he’s serious Michael. And Matt Hardy better seriously consider just heading out and forfeiting tonight. Turn tail on this one kid. The Matt is super cool chat room will forgive you.

Matt Hardy’s music begins to play. He makes his way out alone to a loud pop. He plays up to the fans on his way down the aisle.

JBL: Start writing those get well emails now people. Captain Internet is about to crash.

Cole: Matt Hardy has guts John, but I question this too. What is he thinking?

Matt stops at the end of the aisle and his music goes off. He smiles as he lets both of his hands drop into guns and points them at his head. Right at this moment some familiar music hits and a high pitched cheer fills the arena.

Cole: Could it be JBL? (He makes his way onto the ramp) It is! JEFF HARDY IS BACK!

Jeff Hardy makes his way down the ramp with newly blonde hair and thankfully free of body paint. He slaps hands with some excited fans at ring side as he makes his way down to his brother. They share a quick look and then charge the ring!

Finlay and William Regal vs. THE HARDY BOYZ!

It’s a four way brawl as all four men throw punches at each other. Finlay knocks Jeff into the ropes, but Jeff ducks a charge and sends Finlay over the top and to the floor! Matt whips Regal into the corner and follows him in with a clothesline. Matt drops to all fours and calls for Jeff. He charges across the ring and springboards off of Matt. POETRY IN MOTION! Regal rolls all the way out to the floor as the fans cheer on the Hardys. Both brothers rip their shirts off eliciting another high pitched scream from the crowd.

JBL: Come on! Strip for the girls later. This is a fight boys! You damn sure don’t see Regal and Finlay taking their clothes off.

Cole: I think we are all thankful for that.

JBL: So you like it when the Hardys do it then?

Cole: I didn’t say that at all.

JBL: So let all the boys strip if Michael Cole likes em. I get it Michael.

Cole: But…

JBL: Keep it in your pants Michael. This isn’t San Francisco.

Regal and Finlay have regrouped and the match finally starts proper with Matt Hardy facing off with Finlay. Finlay fires off a forearm strike and then a series of elbows. Hardy fires back with some punches, but a Finlay knee strike puts a stop to that. Double underhook and a suplex takes Hardy down. Cover 1…2…KICKOUT! Finlay drives his forearm down into the throat and covers again 1…2…KICKOUT! Finlay continues to lay on the punishment as Jeff tries to cheer his brother on. Finlay pulls Matt into his corner and delivers some stiff shots before making a tag to Regal. The Englishman starts in right where his partner left off and fires off some stiff European uppercuts. Regal snapmares Hardy down and locks in a chin lock.

Cole: This is where these men do their damage. Both Regal and Finlay know how to wear men down to their very core.

JBL: It’s ground and pound Michael. These two men are a couple of the toughest in the WWE. That takes nothing away from the Hardys but they need to be moving Michael. They need to fly, and their opponents damn sure aren’t going to let them.

The fans try and cheer Matt on and he starts moving. Matt makes it to his feet and elbows out of the hold. Matt hits some punches rocking Regal. Matt takes him down with a jumping clothesline! He mounts Regal and starts throwing down punches, but that’s quickly broken up by Finlay with a RUNNING KNEE TO THE FACE! Jeff charges in and starts hitting Finlay with punches. Finlay blocks a punch and whips Jeff towards the corner. Jeff jumps up the turnbuckles and comes off with a WHISPER IN THE WIND ON FINLAY! Finlay rolls to the outside as Regal and Matt make it to their feet. Regal tries to grab a suplex, but Hardy counters. Matt yells out to the fans and hits the TWIST OF FATE! Jeff climbs the corner and comes off with the SWANTON BOMB! Cover by Matt 1…2…3!

Rating: 73/76/89

The fans cheer as Matt and Jeff roll to the outside to celebrate their victory.

Cole: What a win by the Hardy Boys!

JBL: They did pick up the win Michael, but Finlay and Regal controlled most of that match. The only mistake they made was letting Jeff get in there and flip around like a fish out of water. The kid may look like a freak Michael, but when he is allowed to fly around he is dangerous.

Cole: Jeff has always been a daredevil and it looks like it’s going to take him to big things here on Smackdown. Speaking of big things JBL. I didn’t want to talk about it before, but now we are forced to. Fans I’m sure you’ve managed to catch a glimpse of it by now, but hanging ominously over the ring is the Punjabi Prison.

We get a shot of the humongous wooden structure.

JBL: (serious) Michael I have never seen such a thing in all my years in this business. I fear for the safety of these two men here tonight. Later tonight we have another ECW rules match, but that will pale in comparison to the violence Khali and the Undertaker are about to unleash on each other.

Cole: JBL…it’s time.

The lights dim in the arena and the ominous cage match music begins to play. Strobe lights flash all around the cage for a moment and then out of nowhere it all stops. A wall of fire shoots up from the ramp as The Great Khali’s music fills the arena. He slowly makes his way down the ramp alongside Daivari. Both men cautiously eye the structure above before Khali climbs over the top rope and into the ring.

JBL: Michael even the Great Khali seems nervous here. Hell I’m nervous and I’m not even in this thing.

Cole: I’m right there with you partner. I have goosebumps. I wish this thing didn’t have to…(the lights go out) Oh god!

The bell tolls and the crowd goes crazy. They give their biggest ovation of the night so far to The Undertaker as he strides through the darkness. Daivari quickly darts to the opposite side as Undertaker makes it to the apron. The Deadman goes through his usual routine entering the ring and taking off his hat before raising the house lights again.

JBL: Ok this is epic enough Michael. Forget the cage. Tell them to just forget it!

Cole: I wish I could, but these two men are here to settle their issues and that’s what they are about to do.

JBL: Settle issues?!? Settle issues Michael? One of these men could die!

The structure begins to lower as Taker and Khali stare across the ring at each other. As it gets closer it’s revealed that there are indeed two cages. A smaller cage surrounding the ring and a gigantic structure on the outside.

Cole: JBL I have never seen anything like this. How are they supposed to get out of this?

JBL: That’s why it’s called a prison Michael. I see what may be some doors on the inside cage. But on the huge one nuthin. Are they supposed to climb 25 feet?

Cole: It would appear so.

JBL: Damn it Michael! This isn’t right!

The bell rings.

The Great Khali with Daivari vs. The Undertaker: Punjabi Prison match

They move in on each other and Khali stares down at the Undertaker. Khali tries to throw one of his trademark overhand chops, but Taker dodges and starts laying in the “soup bones”. Undertaker rolls of a series of at least ten punches to the body before landing an uppercut right under the chin. Khali is dazed and the Undertaker grabs him around the throat! The crowd cheers, but Khali puts a stop to that with one of his big overhand chops dropping Taker straight to the mat. UNDERTAKER SITS STRAIGHT UP! Khali plants a big kick to his face knocking him right back down again. Khali takes a moment to check his surroundings and UNDERTAKER SITS STRAIGHT UP! He makes it to his feet and goes after Khali. He throws another series of punches rocking the big man against the ropes.

JBL: This is brutal Michael.

Undertaker bounces off the opposite ropes and charges back at Khali. Khali just lifts his boot up and the Undertaker charges right into nearly taking his head off. Khali goes straight for the chokehold and begins choking him out.

Cole: JBL he could choke him unconscious here! There are no rules in this match.

JBL: Right now if Khali wants he can choke all the air out of Undertaker’s body. He can make the Deadman a truly dead man Michael.

Khali continues choking him on and off for over a minute until The Undertaker finally stops moving. Khali gets to his feet and yells out in what appears to be a celebration. He looks towards the door, but the stops as UNDERTAKER SITS STRAIGHT UP! Khali looks enraged and grabs a hold of the wooden cage and breaks a piece of the cage clean off! He takes it in his right hand like a knife and brings it down towards the Undertaker. Khali tries to stab him, but Taker rolls out of the way! Back to his feet and Taker kicks Khali in the side of the head. Two more stomps and Khali drops the weapon and falls to the mat. Undertaker drops a leg and then notices the weapon on the ground. He grabs it and raises it high in the air as the crowd cheers.

Cole: You don’t need to do that Undertaker. Don’t take it that far!

Undertaker brings it down and STAB KHALI IN THE HEAD! The big man screams in pain as Taker continues to gouge into his forehead. The camera cuts to a shot of Daivari grimacing on the outside and trying to yell encouragement for his man. Taker raises up the piece of jagged wood and stabs a few more times as Khali is now clearly busted open.

JBL: Damn Michael! He could lose an eye here. I have never seen the Undertaker so vicious. He wants to kill Khali!

Cole: I don’t blame him, but there has to be a limit right? There has to be!

Undertaker finally tosses the weapon aside a pulls Khali up leaving a pool of blood on the mat below. Taker calls for the door to be opened and the referee obliges. He takes Khali and shoots him through the ropes and the hole in the cage out to the floor. He takes a moment to throw an evil glare Daivari’s way and then follows Khali out to the floor.

JBL: Ok Michael cage one is done with. One of em just needs to find a way out of this huge structure and this is over thank god.

Khali looks to be out cold as Undertaker looks around the ringside area for more implements of destruction. Finally he spots a table set up on the opposite side of the ring. Daivari’s eyes grow wide.

Daivari: NO! Damn you Undertaker! Damn you!

Undertaker ignores his pleas and walks over to the table. On the table is some barbed wire and…

Cole: IS THAT AN AXE?!? Ok that’s it. This is too much! I’m not going to call this brutality.

The sound of a headset dropping can be heard as the Undertaker begins wrapping his gloved fists in barbed wire. He finishes the job and then grabs a length of it in his hands as well.

JBL: Come on Undertaker. If you have any humanity left just climb out. You beat him! You won. You’re still the man. Just don’t…

Khali makes it to his knees just in time for The Undertaker to wrap the length of wire around his neck. He begins choking his giant opponent as the crowd has been stunned to near silence.

JBL: Michael. Well I guess… I mean I don’t know what to do here. Who is going to stop him?

Khali is just bleeding buckets now as Taker continues to choke him. Finally he relents and let’s Khali drop to the floor.

JBL: Finally it’s over. Now all he has to do is climb and we can get some medical attention in there. The Undertaker has proven his dominance here tonight.

Daivari look on concerned as Undertaker examines the cage. He then turns back to Khali and shakes his head. He bends down to grab him as Daivari screams for mercy and finds none. He manages to pull Khali’s dead weight up to his feet, but the giant just slumps against the cage. Taker unloads with some barbed wire wrapped punches. He grabs him around the throat and drops Khali with a CHOKESLAM!

Daivari: Curse you Undertaker! That’s enough pain!

The Undertaker looks at him almost amused.

Undertaker: Pain? Boy I got something for you.

The referee rushes to the side of Khali as the Undertaker takes a slow deliberate walk across the floor and grabs the axe. Daivari’s eyes widen as the Deadman looks back towards him.

JBL: Jesus Daivari run. Get out of here!

The Undertaker gets right in front of Daivari and raises the axe. He brings it down knocking a huge chunk out of the cage. That’s the final straw as Daivari runs away from ringside only stopping for a moment at the ramp before disappearing backstage. A few more well placed chops and the Undertaker breaks through the cage to victory.

Rating: 60/77/84

The Undertaker’s music hits and some of the crowd cheers while many others look shocked and horrified at what they’ve just seen. Taker just throws the axe over his shoulder and casually walks to the back as medics rush past him. After just a few seconds we go to an extended recap video of the long standing issue between Mark Henry and Batista then a commercial for WWE Shopzone, an ad for Summerslam, and then the Batista and Henry video again.

Cole: Are we back? Fans we are back. I apologize for my conduct earlier.

JBL: Apologize nuthin Michael. The Undertaker needs to apologize. He went above and beyond anything that should happen out here.

Cole: Be that as it may John we have to try and move on here. We have two more matches left tonight and they deserve our full attention.

Mark Henry’s music interrupts the solemn dialogue and he makes his way down the aisle. He yells at the crowd trying to rile them up, but most of them seem out of it. After a bit he just gives up and climbs into the ring.

Cole: JBL this match has been more than 8 months in the making.

JBL: Yeah uh…Batista is really looking forward to this one.

Batista’s music hits and the crowd comes back into it a bit and cheers him. He makes his way out onto the ramp and does the machine gun pose as his pyro goes off and this seems to rally some more people. Henry yells something down at Batista and Batista charges the ring!

Mark Henry vs. Batista

Henry tries to go after Batista but gets taken down with a SPEAR! He mounts Henry and pummels him with a series of big punches. The referee yells at him to break it up and Batista leaps to his feet and yells out to the fans who yell right back at him.

Cole: 8 months of anger are being unleashed here tonight!

JBL: Batista better not get too over heated here Michael. He’ll make a mistake.

Henry rolls to the floor to try and get a break, but Batista follows right after him. He grabs Henry and throws him back into the ring, but gets caught with an elbow drop upon his return.

JBL: See what I mean Michael?

Batista quickly fires back to his feet and they begin exchanging right hands. Neither man wants to back down as they keep getting hit with bombs by their opponent. Nick Patrick tries to get in between them, but ends up taking a punch from Batista!

Cole: The referee is out! What else can happen here tonight?!?

Another referee sprints down to the ring and rolls Patrick out to the floor as the two men just keep on pummeling each other. Henry gains a momentary advantage knocking Batista into the ropes. The referee says something and Henry just grabs him by the head and tosses him over the top ropes!

JBL: Here we go now Michael! Two monsters just throwing hands. The way it should be!

Henry charges at Batista, but he dodges out of the way and Henry bounces off of the ropes right back into a clothesline! Henry stumbles back up and gets planted with a SPINEBUSTER! Batista puts his thumbs up and the crowd cheers. Thumbs up? No THUMBS DOWN! He brings Henry up to his feet as yet another referee comes down the aisle waving his hands frantically. The bell rings and the crowd begins to boo loudly.

Rating: 66/79/65

Cole: Well the crowd may not like it, but I think this referee had no other option John.

Batista drops Henry to the mat and turns his anger towards the official.

JBL: Right or not Michael he is about to pay for it.

Batista grabs the referee and puts him in position. BATISTA BOMB ON THE REFEREE! Henry is back up and clotheslines Batista over the top and to the floor! He follows him out and they continue brawling on the floor. Security begins rushing down the aisle.

Cole: Fans this match has been thrown out. We’ll get this sorted out and be back with the main event, but for now why don’t you take a look at how this one came about.

A series of disasters

Instead of going to a hype video the camera cuts backstage to Teddy Long in his office. He has his head down on his desk.

Long: What else could go wrong tonight? Khali in surgery, Undertaker walking around with an axe and…

An unidentified woman wearing a headset and carrying a clipboard rushes into the office.

Woman: Mr. Long! Mr. Long!

Long: Oh lord don’t tell me. Mark Henry punch a fan?

Woman: No sir. Rey Mysterio is here! He made it.

Long leaps up from his desk rejuvenated.

Long: Well what are we waitin fo? We got a main event! Let’s get this show moving!

Woman: Yes sir!

The woman rushes out of the office as Long smiles and looks up to the heavens.

Long: Holla Holla Big Playa!

Rating: 76%

Back to the arena and Sabu’s music is already playing as the show seems to be rushing to a finish. Sabu comes out with a chair in hand and Paul Heyman walking with confidence by his side.

Cole: It’s time for our main event JBL. Can Rey Mysterio overcome this ECW maniac and all the obstacles he brings?

JBL: Rey has pulled off some miracles before Michael and if anyone can get around this I’d be willing to bet it would be him.

Cole: (surprised) Oh a compliment for Rey Mysterio?

JBL: I’d even compliment you when I have to compare things with ECW Michael.

Sabu climbs into the ring with his chair and gets some last minute instructions from Heyman as the music changes to Mysterio’s. Instead of shooting up into the sky Rey just walks out from backstage. He looks to be limping as he makes his way down to the ring.

Cole: It looks like Rey has been hurt! Did this have anything to do with Chavo being in their locker room earlier?

Before JBL can respond Sabu charges out to the floor and jumpstarts the match.

Sabu with Paul Heyman vs. Rey Mysterio (champion) World Heavyweight Title: ECW Rules

The bell rings as Sabu slides at Mysterio trying to cut him off at the knee. Mysterio dodges and catches Sabu with a kick to the side of the head. Sabu takes another kick as Heyman is already pulling a table out from under the ring. He slides the table into the ring as Rey pulls Sabu up and whips him into the guardrail. Rey charges in for a splash, but Sabu dodges sending Mysterio chest first into the railing. Sabu body slams him on the floor near the ring and rushes up onto the apron. He waits for Mysterio to regain his footing and comes off with an ASAI MOONSAULT! Both men go crashing down as the crowd cheers.

JBL: They are going top speed here Michael. Throwing out everything they can as quick as they can.

Sabu throws Mysterio back into the ring and call for a chair. Heyman finds one and hands it up to him. Sabu climbs to the top and comes off with the ATOMIC ARABIAN FACEBUSTER! Mysterio rolls out of the way and Sabu crashes down to the mat. Mysterio to his feet and he grabs the chair. Chair shot to Sabu! Another chair shot this time to the back! Mysterio snaps and fires off four more shots to the back before dropping the chair and moving towards the table in the ring. Rey sets up the table, but Sabu regains control of the chair. Rey turns around just in time to have the chair thrown right into his face! Sabu grabs the chair and sets it up. Jump to the chair, jump to the table, jump to the ropes QUADRUPLE JUMP MOONSAULT?!? Cover 1…2…SHOULDER UP!

Cole: I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT! How did Rey kick out?!?

JBL: That machismo wont let him quit Michael! He’ll have to die to lose.

Sabu picks him up and whips Rey into corner. He charges in, but Rey moves out of the way. He lifts Sabu up onto the top rope. Heyman quickly grabs his cell phone as Rey follows him up to the top. TOP ROPE HURICANRANA! Cover by Rey 1…2…SHOULDER UP! The crowd begins to boo as out from the back comes Chavo Guerrero holding a cell phone and smiling at Heyman.

Cole: Damn it! You stay out of this Chavo! You are a coward and a no good…

Chavo grabs a chair from ringside and slides into the ring, but Rey turns around and spots him before he can do any damage. Rey looks wide eyed and points at Chavo. Chavo just shrugs at him as Sabu begins to get to his feet.

Mysterio: Why Chavito? Why?

Chavo shakes his head and HITS SABU WITH THE CHAIR! Heyman is left in shock on the outside as Chavo order Rey out to the apron and rolls Sabu onto the table. DROP OF THE DIME THROUGH THE TABLE!! Cover 1…2…3!

Rating: 65/67/79

Heyman stomps his feet and looks furious.

Cole: Chavo hit Sabu! He was on Rey’s side all along!

Heyman climbs into the ring as Rey and Chavo begin to celebrate. He points at Chavo.

Heyman: You! We had a deal. I gave you money to take him out! You lied and you stole from me and I wont take it!

Chavo grabs the chair and before Heyman can run blasts him in the head with it! Heyman stumbles back and drops across the ropes. Rey quickly follows it up with the 619! Which draws a loud pop from the crowd.

Mysterio and Chavo together: It’s a family tradition!

JBL: What a Great American Bash Michael! We couldn’t have asked for anything more!

Cole: It was a great show and I see even greater things in the future for Smackdown! Rey Mysterio stands tall. Thanks for joining us here tonight!

The show comes to an end with a shot of blood beginning to flow down Heyman’s forehead and Rey and Chavo celebrating.

Overall Card Rating: 65%

Buy Rate: 1.39

Attendance: 15,448

[TGC]

We at wwe.com have learned that Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and Triple H have all left the arena where Raw is to be held tonight after calls came in that Stephanie McMahon is in labor. Mr. McMahon and Shane quickly left and boarded their private jet en route to Conneticut, while Triple H quickly booked a flight. It is not known at this time why Triple H is on his way, but we will endeavor to bring you more of this story as soon as we can.

We all wish Stephanie and family our best wishes.

[Draevyn]

Okay, let’s see. Finally got some time to type out some feedback. This has nothing to do with your “whoring” of the diary because that’s not what you did. Now, coming into this show, I wasn’t expecting a lot, which is a good thing for you. Not that I don’t think you could pull off a surprise, but going in with no expectations means that I don’t have any preconceived notions.

-So Misterio’s missing. Well, my first thought was that Paul Heyman had something to do with it, and after reading the show, I was half right. It was a nice way to set up a “Will he; Won’t he” for the ppv. Teddy just seemed like a whiny bitch in this segment for some reason.

-Opening with the Cruiserweight tag teams. Good move from a television perspective as it gets the fans hot for the rest of the card, and a good thing for EWR since they seem to have pretty good overness. You do well with writing these quick matches. Not so much detail that it drags down the match, but just enough to get the writer interested. It’s something I’ve been struggling with, so seeing someone like you do it is quite inspiring. Okay, after reading that statement it seemed insulting, but that’s not what I meant. I’m having trouble explaining myself it seems. Anyway, great match. Glad you didn’t go the way of most writers (myself included) and have the two different partners with the titles. Let’s face it, while it adds a good storyline at times, no referee is going to count 4 legal men in the ring unless it’s Tornado Tag.

-Am I the only one who was waiting for Long to walk straight into the door and fall over? Reminds me of the Angel episode where they’re trying to chase Spike and he walks through the wall, and Fred runs into it. Was great comedy and would have added to this segment. Something strange is going on with Chavito.

-Gunner Scott? That poor boy really doesn’t know when to stop. Kind of giving me the John Cena feel from the early days, but he had much better quality opponents, which meant that it didn’t look so crap. Heyman changes affiliations awful quickly, doesn’t he? First RVD, then Sabu, now he’s berating Sabu in the favor of Test? Surprised as hell to see Gunner win this one, but he’s kind of become a pinball in that respect. Win, loss, win, loss, win, loss. Ya get what I’m saying? Kennedy/Scott might work out in the end.

-Called it long ago, but at least he didn’t get completely obliterated like I figured it was going to happen. So Benjamin to Smackdown and Booker to Raw? I have no idea what either of you see in either of them. Everyone seems to have a hard-on for Benjamin but the guy has no personality. Booker was a good tag wrestler, but as a singles guy, ewww. Then again, Lashley isn’t anything to call home about either. I liked TGC’s idea from one of his other diaries of Lashley being a staple in a new NOD stable. I think he needs something like that to make him interesting.

-GAH! You did it. I was hoping against everything that you wouldn’t put Matt and Jeff back together, but you did it. Hopefully this only lasts long enough for this feud to end, and then Jeff gets a nice singles push. Matt would be good for a push too, but as far as a tag team, I think they’ve run their course. Doesn’t help to have them go over Regal and Finlay, who are probaly the best thing Smackdown has going for them in terms of characters.

-Please tell me this isn’t going to make it to the Last Man Standing that happened in real life? Hopefully with Khali actually wrestling in the Prison match and losing means this feud is over. Are we going t see “Lumberjack” Mark? While it wouldn’t exactly be realistic, it would be funny as hell, but then again I have a weird sense of humor. Love the barbed wire like punches, but this Undertaker seemed a lot more like Biker Taker than anything, which isn’t a bad thing really cause damn was that a brutal side of him.

-So could this be the end of Mark Henry? I know it’s the battle of behemoths but he didn’t last nearly as long as I figured, and he got quite a beating in the end. Guess it can’t be the end as it ended in a Disqualification, but damn. Thought for sure Henry was going to get another Bomb, but the poor ref got it instead. Is Robinson on SD cause it was probably him who got it. Poor guy’s always getting slammed around.

-Damn, I went into this match hoping Sabu would break that little midget in half, but alas, there was something more to this match. It was a solid move until the non-swerve, and then Rey and Chavo almost attempt a country duet. Everyone loves Hank Williams Jr. It’s a family tradition. See, makes me want to sing too.

While it wasn’t anything groundbreaking, it definitely had promise for the future, specially with Taker/Khali hopefully over, and Booker on his way to Raw. While I don’t like Benjamin, he may be able to do something good on Smackdown and make me like him. God I’m really loving this diary. Good job Ms. JHS. A nice show.

[TGC]

WWE Raw

Cleveland OH, July 24, 2006

“Are You Ready” blares out across the arena as the lights go out and the green spotlights search the arena. They stop on the stage as HBK comes out from the back, alone, and the music hits high gear. He dances his way down the ramp and to the ring, where Todd Grisham hands him a mic from the floor.

HBK: Oh boy oh boy oh boy do we have a show for you. I have some huge…

He pauses and looks around, then smiles and smacks his head as he feigns embarrassment.

HBK: I completely forgot that HHH isn’t here tonight. We can’t banter if he’s not here.

The fans boo a bit at this, and HBK smiles.

HBK: It’s okay, all will be revealed in due time, but first we need to take care of some business. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for the Semi Finals of the DX 2006 Diva Search.

As the three ladies’ music plays HBK introduces each and every one of them, starting with Maria, moving on to Candice, and ending with Mickie James, who comes out with Jonathan Coachman and Victoria at her side. HBK rolls to the floor, the mic still in hand.

HBK: Folks, tonight’s match is pretty simple. It’s just a regular old wrestling match. I know, I know, it’s nothing like last week’s Panty Raid Match, but blame HHH for not being here. I mean, he’s the obvious brains behind this thing. I can’t come up with a sordid, messy, over the top match like he can. Oh, and it’s for WWE Women’s Title, and it starts NOW.

The bell rings as Candice and Maria both attack Mickie from the start.

-DX 2006 Diva Search Semi Final’s WWE Women’s Title Match: Mickie© w/Coachman and Victoria vs. Maria vs. Candice

As Maria and Candice lay boots to Mickie, HBK joins the announce team of The King and JR. King tries to get out of him where HHH is tonight, but HBK says that all will be revealed after the match. Maria drags Mickie to the corner, and Candice runs across the ring and does a Cartwheel and Monkey Flips Mickie to the center of the ring. The fans cheer a bit, as on the floor Coachman, who is wearing a headset attached to his cell phone, suddenly says something to Victoria and takes off running towards the back.

King: Where’s he going?

HBK: Maybe he has the runs?

JR: Well, let’s hope not.

HBK: Why not?

JR: I really don’t know.

Back in the ring Maria and Candice have a moment of miscommunication, and Mickie nails a Double DDT onto both women. She gets to her feet and stomps on both women’s head, before she grabs Maria by the hair, lifts her to her feet, and then nails Stratusfaction on the Diva. She makes the cover as Referee Mickey Henson gets into place, but Candice stops the count at two with an Axe Handle across the back of Mickie’s head. Maria rolls to the floor, as Candice shakes the cobwebs and brings Mickie to her feet.

King: Yannow, this is a pretty good match.

HBK: Any of these women would represent DX well, King. Well, maybe not Mickie, but that’s just because she’s totally bonkers.

King: Nuts?

HBK: Insane.

King: Off her rocker?

JR: Folks, King’s auditioning to play the understudy of HHH tonight it seems.

As Candice botches a Reverse Neckbreaker, Victoria gets on the apron and tries to get into the ring. Henson stops her, and doesn’t see the WWE Women’s Title that Victoria kicks into the ring at the same time. It comes to a stop next to Mickie, who grabs it and slowly gets to her feet. She swings it wildly at Candice, who ducks and knocks it out of her hands, She then redoes the Reverse Neckbreaker, not as badly this time but still not right, laying Mickie’s head squarely onto the belt. Maria comes over and pulls Victoria to the floor, as Candice shoves the belt aside and makes the cover. Referee Henson makes the count. One 1-2-3 later and Candice is crowned as the new WWE Women’s Champion, as well as the one to eliminate Mickie James from the DX 2006 Diva Search.

JR: We have a new Women’s Champion folks, we have a new champion.

King: Wow, I can’t believe it. What a way to start Raw.

HBK: Excuse me Kingfish, JR.

HBK drops the headset and rolls back into the ring as Todd Grisham announces the results. Mickie is on the floor, looking shocked, as Victoria tries to help her to her feet. HBK raises Candice’s hand as the show goes to a commercial break

OR: 45

Crowd: 58

Match: 34

-After the commercial the end of the previous match is shown, then it’s back to the ring live where HBK is seated on the top turnbuckle with a mic.

HBK: And then the atheist says, and you’re gonna love this, then he says, “What do you mean it’s all a revelation?”

HBK drops to the mat and rolls around doing some over the top obvious fake laughter as the fans in attendance cheer and chant “DX DX DX”.

King: Oh man that was a hell of a joke, JR.

JR: Nice quip King. Folks welcome back. We have a new WWE Women’s Champion, and during the break Shawn Michaels informed us all that next week right here on Raw it would be Candice vs. Maria in the DX 2006 Diva Search Finals, with the WWE Women’s Championship on the line.

King: He also told us all the funniest religious joke I’ve ever heard.

JR: Maybe it’ll be posted on wwe.com tomorrow, King.

Back in the ring HBK has recovered, and he is standing again.

HBK: Okay, wow, I love that joke. Ahem. Okay, anyways, as I said before, HHH isn’t here tonight, and now I can announce why. You see, as anyone who frequents wwe.com knows, and you all should frequent wwe.com by the way. Not only does it feature great late breaking news and some fantastic videos, but it is also the home of WWE Shop Zone, where you can buy the latest and greatest DX merchandise. But I digress. Anyone who went there today knows that Stephanie McMahon is having her illegitimate baby as we speak. Of course Vinnie Mac and Shane-O-Mac ran off via their private jet to be there, but oddly enough so did HHH.

The fans cheer at this.

HBK: I know, I know, it makes no sense. I mean why oh why would HHH want to be there when his ex old lady gives birth to her illegitimate child? Why oh why would he rush off and have me book him a flight out of here and back to Conneticut as quickly as possible? Why oh why would he tell me that this was very important to him and that he was so sorry for leaving me high and dry, when we all know that we were supposed to defend our Tag Team Titles here tonight? Why oh why would I agree and tell him not to worry? Wait a second, you don’t think that HHH might be the fa…

But Michaels is cut off as the new music of Coachman Enterprises plays out and Jonathon Coachman himself comes out onto the ramp with the headset still on and holding a clipboard and the cell phone.

Coach: Hold it right there, Shawn. I don’t know what malicious rumors you plan to start here tonight, but as the acting GM of Raw I can’t allow you to do it.

HBK smiles and leans against the ropes.

HBK: Malicious rumors? Me? For shame Coachy Coach, you know me better than that. I mean, I’m not the one who started the malicious rumor that you and Shelton were, well, a little TOO friendly, if you get my meaning.

The fans cheer.

HBK: And I’m not the one who started the rumor that you might even be his real daddy. I’m also not the one who passed out that tape of you and Momma Benjamin making out like two randy high school seniors on Prom Night all over the back. Nope, I didn’t do any of that.

Coach: Are you done?

HBK: I dunno. Maybe I am, and maybe I’m not. Wait, I’m not. You as acting GM? What makes you think you can be acting GM? I think a much better choice for acting GM would be Eugene. Do you remember when he booked Raw last year for one night? Oh the hilarity. Oh wait, Eugene was thrown through a window last week and he’s off on medical leave. Hmmm, maybe a better choice would be…

Coach: No there is no better choice Shawn. You see I am in constant contact with Mr. McMahon’s secretary’s assistant’s assistant, and Mr. McMahon is relaying messages to her who relays them to him, who tells me what to do.

HBK looks to the fans and scratches his head.

HBK: So, you are being told by some guy what to do on behalf of Mr. McMahon as we speak?

Coach smiles.

Coach: Exactly.

HBK: Hmmm, well this seems very odd to me. Why would the head of Coachman Enterprises, the man who killed Shelton’s career and ran out on Mickie during a title match be put in charge? Clearly this is a mistake. As such, I feel the need to rectify it. I think that I will be in charge tonight starting right after I come up there and beat you silly. Okay? Okay.

HBK hops from the ring as Johnny and Kenny come from the back, dressed in two very expensive looking suits, and stand in front of Coach. HBK smiles, shrugs, and keeps on coming. Rob Conway, Matt Striker, Trevor Murdoch, and Lance Cade next come out and stand in front of them. HBK pauses, looks to the crowd, shrugs his shoulders, and continues to walk, until eight policemen dressed in riot gear all come from the back next. HBK smirks, and stops completely.

Coach: I don’t think so, Shawn. In fact, you’re going to be far too busy tonight defending those WWE Tag Team Championships to be worried with running Raw. You see, I have been told that The McMahon’s want you to defend the belts on your own, and it is my decision as to whom you will face. Now I thought about it long and hard, and it dawned on me who would be the perfect opponents for you this week. A religious man such as yourself, he might have a bit of a problem fighting women. So in my infinite wisdom, I decided that tonight your opponents will be…

Mickie and Victoria come from the back next and stand in front of all the people already standing on the stage.

Coach: Courtesy of Coachman Enterprises, you will wrestle Mickie James and Victoria in a Handicap match with the belts on the line. I can’t wait to see how you wrestle two women, Shawn. Oh, and you are simply not allowed to have any help. No midgets, no former DX members, nobody but HHH himself is allowed to wrestle with you tonight, and seeing as he’s not here, I think you’re kinda, well, screwed. See you soon, Shawn.

Coach laughs as he leads the squadron of wrestlers and security to the back, while HBK looks very surprised and shocked on the ramp, and Raw heads to another commercial break.

OR: 87

-After the commercials a video airs. It starts with a beach, the water rolling up onto the sand, before it cuts to a beach chair with a woman seated in it. The camera pans up her body, starting on her bare feet. The legs are in black stockings, and the camera pans up to reveal a lady in lingerie with long, golden, hair. She smiles at the camera.

Woman: I’m not just another pretty face. I’m Raw’s newest Diva, and I’m coming for the women of the WWE. My name’s Kelly Kelly Kelly, and I’m coming to Raw. See you soon.

The scene fades to black, where the words:

Kelly Kelly Kelly is coming to Raw

fill the screen.

OR: 47

Back at the announce table, King is smiling from ear to ear.

King: Kelly Kelly Kelly is coming to Raw JR. Wooo-hooo.

JR: You’re stuttering, King.

King: No, JR, that’s her name. She’s the biggest name in Japanese wrestling since, well, since that last big name in Japanese wrestling.

JR: Muta?

King: Okay, sure. But let me tell you, JR, Trish, Mickie, Candice, Victoria, and all the other Diva’s better be worried. I once saw her defeat the famous Masked Wild Flower Lilly Blossom in under a minute. Nobody does that JR, nobody.

JR: I must be behind the times, King, as I’ve never heard of either of those ladies.

King: You’ll see soon, JR, she’s something. We’re so lucky to have her on Raw.

-The scene cuts to backstage, where Rob Conway is standing in Coach’s office.

Coach: Yes, Rob, what can I do for you?

Conway: Well, Coach, seeing as how you…

Coach interrupts him.

Coach: As the sign on the door says, it’s Jonathon Coachman, of Coachman Enterprises, Rob.

Conway: Right, sorry Coachman. Anyway, seeing as how you have Coachman Enterprises up and running, and seeing as how you’re managing Mickie and Victoria right into a Tag Team Title shot, well, and seeing as how my career has hit a bit of a road bump lately, I was wondering if we could discuss you becoming the manager of me.

Coach smiles, puts hi hand on Conway’s shoulder, and leads him towards the door.

Coach: Rob, I think we should talk, really I do, but tonight is not the night. In fact, allow me to tell you that Mr. McMahon has added your name to the list of eight that will be facing off in The Road To The IC Gold Tournament that starts next week. In fact, you’ll be facing Val Venis next week right here on Raw in the Qualifying Round, so after we see how you do, we’ll sit down and we’ll talk, okay?

Conway smiles and turns around to have Coachman shut the door in his face.

Conway: Uh, yeah, okay.

OR: 69

JR: Well we have learned the first two official competitors in The Road To The IC Gold Tournament that kicks off next week on Raw and culminates at Summer Slam where the winner gets an Intercontinental Title Shot, King.

King: I can do you better than that, JR. I have the final brackets, as revealed on wwe.com just moments ago, courtesy of Coach.

JR: Well, let’s take a look then King.

As they talk, the graphics hit the screen. They are:

1. Charlie Haas

2. Viscera

3. Tommy Dreamer

4. Balls Mahoney

5. Rob Conway

6. Val Venis

7. Carlito

8. Mystery Man

JR: Well those are certainly unique, King. It looks like Paul Heyman’s influence continues here on Raw, as Tommy Dreamer and Balls Mahoney get a shot.

King: Bad call in my opinion, but I’m really curious about this mystery man. Who do you think it could be, JR?

JR: I have no idea, but we will find out next week folks, when all four qualifying matches will take place, live on Raw.

King: Poor Charlie Haas, he said he was done with Viscera, but he draws him in his match next week. I have no doubt that he’ll get past him with ease though, just like he did at Vengeance. Sadly, we don’t have a honeymoon tape this week either.

JR: Oh darn. Folks, up next we have The Spirit Squad taking on The Spirit Squad after what happened last week.

After the footage of the end of raw is shown, it’s off to the commercials.

-Handicap Match: The Spirit Squad (Mitch, Nicky, and Mikey) vs. Ken Doane and Johnny Jeter

Coachman is with JR and King on commentary, and he introduces Doane and Jeter as they come from the back, dressed in matching singlets and no longer sporting The Spirit Squad name. In the ring the remainder of The Spirit Squad are all serious looking and ready for the match. As Ken gets inside, and as Mitch and Nicky head for the apron, Referee Chad Patton calls for the bell to get this match underway.

Coach: I was personally told by Mr. McMahon’s secretary’s assistant’s assistant that Ken Doane and Johnny Jeter are now going by the Tag Team name of Strike Force McMahon. I like it.

JR: Well they may have dropped the Spirit Squad name, but they haven’t dropped the ass kissing I see.

King: JR, they never joined that most exclusive club.

Coach: Not like you and HBK have, JR.

Inside the ring Ken and Mikey are exchanging holds on the mat, but that quickly comes to an end when Ken tags in Johnny for a blind tag, who leaps over the top rope and delivers a Leg Drop to Mikey’s back. Ken drops to Elbow Drops onto Mikey as the fans boo everyone in the ring, and then heads for the apron himself.

JR: The fans still hate all five of them, it seems.

Coach: They will learn to love Strike Force McMahon, I am sure of it. Clearly they always were the two standouts and stars of The Spirit Squad.

JR: I am so glad you’re back on commentary for this match, Coach.

Coach: I’ll be back for the Tag Titles match too, JR.

JR: Lucky us.

In the ring Mikey makes the hot tag to Mitch, after he delivered a Running Knee to Johnny, however the fans react with more booing. Johnny also makes the tag to Doane, who leaps over the top rope himself this time, but is met with a Drop Kick by Mitch. Mitch takes Doane by the head but Ken Low Blows him, without the ref seeing, then rushes across the ring where he elbows first Nicky then Mikey to the floor. He then climbs and flies off with his Leg Drop from the top rope and hooks the leg to get the rather anticlimactic and fast three count. Johnny gets back into the ring, and the duo beat on Mitch. Nicky and Mikey rush in, but they too are beaten down by Doane and Jeter. Finally, with all three Spirit Squad members laid out, Coachman escorts the duo to the back.

OR: 53

Crowd: 53

Match: 66

JR: Do you think Coachman Enterprises is now managing Strike Force McMahon as well, King?

King: Only for tonight I bet. Once The McMahons are back, I think they’ll go back to their rightful place at Mr. McMahon’s and Shane’s side.

-After the commercial break, it’s The Slam Of The Week, which recounts a bit of the match last week between RVD and Tommy Dreamer against Orton and Edge, and ends with Angle Suplexing Dreamer on “accident”.

-Live again, and Tommy Dreamer comes from the back to the ECW music, but his entrance is cut off as Edge attacks him from behind and slams his head into the stage floor.

Joey: It’s our first of two Raw vs. ECW matches, and this one is an ECW Rules Match.

Tazz: And Edge starts it off with a cheap shot from behind.

King: Always the observant one, huh Tazz?

-ECW Rules Match: Tommy Dreamer vs. Edge w/Lita

As Edge kicks Dreamer down the ramp, Lita comes from the back with a shopping cart full of weapons. Edge rolls Tommy into the ring, and Referee Chioda calls for the bell to officially start this match. Tommy gets to his knees, as Edge grabs a trashcan lid from Lita’s cart, then rolls inside. Dreamer ducks the lid shot, and kicks Edge low, followed by a Dreamer DDT. The fans explode into cheers.

Joey: This could be it. Dreamer has had Edge’s number for weeks now, and this could be the end.

Tazz: What huge momentum Tommy could have going into The Road To The IC Gold Tourney if he defeats a multi time Tag Team and Intercontinental Champion, and a former WWE Champ.

King: Keep dreaming. No Extremely Crappy Wrestler is going to defeat Edge. And Edge beat Dreamer at One Night Stand.

Joey: No, Edge beat Beulah.

Dreamer makes the cover, but only gets a two count as Lita rushes into the ring and slams the lid onto Dreamer’s back. Dreamer stands up, smiling, and stalks Lita, who tries to beg off. Edge gets to his feet, his head bleeding for the third week in a row thanks to Dreamer, but Dreamer catches him and begins to lay lefts and rights to the busted open forehead. Edge drops to his knees, and Dreamer comes off the ropes with a Drop Kick to the face.

JR: Did Tommy Dreamer just execute a Drop Kick?

Joey: This isn’t The Sandman, JR, Tommy can wrestle.

King: He can? Since when?

Dreamer makes another pin attempt, but this time Lita grabs Edge’s foot and puts it on the ropes. Dreamer rolls to the floor and chases her up the ramp, before he returns to ringside. He grabs the shopping cart and empties it of it’s contents, then tosses it over the top rope into the ring. He rolls inside, and Edge rams the cart into Dreamer’s legs, crushing him into the corner. Edge does this repeatedly, then he tosses the cart aside and backs off. As Dreamer staggers out of the corner Edge runs with a Spear attempt, but Dreamer moves and Edge eats the turnbuckle steel hard, and head first. He no stagger back out of the corner, and Dreamer grabs him and nails him with The Dreamer Driver. Lita tries to get into the ring, but she is too late as Tommy Dreamer gets the completely shocking 1-2-3 to cleanly pin Edge.

Joey: He did it! Tommy Dreamer just defeated Edge, and he did it totally clean. Tommy Dreamer just pinned Edge, Tazz.

King: What the…

Tazz: Way to go Tommy, way to go.

Inside the ring Dreamer seems to be in as much shock as the announce team and the fans are, as he is on his knees looking completely and totally shocked. He stands up, smiling, and is he leveled from behind by Lita who has a shovel. Tommy drops hard and fast, as Edge gets to his feet, his face a bloody mess. He is livid. He runs his hands through his hair and screams out as he mounts Dreamer from behind and repeatedly slams his face into the mat. Then he takes the shovel from Lita and brings it down three times hard on the back of Dreamer’s head, finally breaking it in half with the fourth stiff shot. He grabs Lita and drags her from the ring, as the two back up the ramp, a maniacal look on Edge’s face. They turn at the top, and Mick Foley is standing there, a look of disappointment on his own face. He shakes his head and walks off, as Edge is screaming “what” over and over, before he and Lita disappear into the back.

OR: 71

Crowd: 80

Match: 80

-After the commercials and after the This Week In WWE history segment, JR and The King show the footage during the break of Lita and Edge getting into Foley’s rental car and all three leaving, followed by Dreamer in the ring being helped off by medics.

King: I can’t believe Tommy Dreamer beat Edge. I’ve beaten Dreamer, JR.

JR: It was a hell of a shock, but maybe more shocking was Edge’s appalling actions after the match. This is sure not over, not by any stretch of the imagination.

-The scene cuts to the back, where Coachman is talking on his cell phone.

Coach: Yeah, I did see last night. Yes. Oh I agree. No, Teddy Long doesn’t know what he’s doing over there on Smackdown at all. Yes, I think I can and do speak for Mr. McMahon on this one and say that when you debut next week on Raw as the “mystery man” in The Road To The IC Gold Tournament everyone, including Teddy is going to be surprised. Oh yes. Well, my position is that if he wanted you what happened last night wouldn’t have happened, now would it. I would like you to seriously consider the offer I had sent to you too. Yes, Coachman Enterprises would be honored to have a man such as yourself under it’s banner. Oh of course. Yes, fifteen percent. Okay then. You too.

Coach hangs up and turns to fins Val Venis behind him.

Coach: Val you scared the hell out of me. How long were you standing there?

Val: I wanted to talk to you about something. For a long time now my career has been off track. I need to get back to where I was a few years ago, and I think maybe Coachman Enterprises might be my best bet.

Coach smiles.

Coach: Funny you should say that, Val, cuz your opponent next week, Rob Conway, had the same ideas in mind for himself. And I’ll tell you the same thing I told him, that being that we can discuss this after your match. That said, I’d be more apt to sign a man whose name doesn’t remind me and the sponsors that you worked in Adult Cinema. Keep that in mind, Chief.

Coach slaps Val on the back and walks off smiling.

OR: 69

-Cut yet again, this time to Paul Heyman in the hallway. RVD walks up with a look of pure anger on his face.

RVD: Paul, we need to talk.

Heyman smiles.

Heyman: Of course Rob, what can I do for you?

RVD: You can tell me why Kurt Angle Suplexed Tommy last week and why he keeps getting involved in my matches with Orton.

Heyman: Well, Rob, he and Randy have some issues, as you might remember. Randy did do some extensive damage to Kurt’s ankle and knee you might recall, and Kurt, well, he’s not the forgiving type.

RVD: Right. Well I want you to keep him out of the match you’re going to sign between me and Orton for Summer Slam. For the ECW World Title.

Heyman looks confused.

Heyman: Rob, I thought you were going to defend the WWE Championship at Summer Slam.

RVD: I am. I’m going to defend them both.

Heyman: This is a bad idea, Rob. Maybe you missed The Great American Bash last night, maybe this bandage on my head didn’t clue you in, or maybe your extracurricular activities outside behind the dumpster have just caused you to forget our goals and our plans, but Sabu lost last night, and we need you to keep your hands on preferably both of those titles or else Mr. McMahon could and probably will remove ECW from the WWE. That means you, me, Balls, Tommy, The Sandman, even Sabu will be gone from WWE. That also included Kurt and The Big Show. We can’t have that Rob, which is why you won’t be defending both belts at Summer Slam. Now, I think based on Tommy’s win over Edge tonight, perhaps you could defend the WWE Championship against Tommy at the PPV instead of against Edge. I think I can make that happen. What do you say?

RVD: Cool, whatever. But I also want Orton for this belt…

RVD taps the ECW World Title.

RVD: …at Summer Slam. Make it happen Paul.

Heyman: I just explained it to you Rob, please don’t be difficult like Sandman and Sabu have been. Please. Don’t make me…

Heyman trails off.

RVD: Make you what?

Heyman: I hate to say this Rob, but you haven’t been making the best decisions or really representing ECW the way I thought you would since you won those belts. So Rob, please, don’t make me do something we’ll both regret. Please.

RVD gets nose to nose with Heyman.

RVD: Are you threatening me?

At this point Coach walks up, talking on his earpiece.

Coach: Yes sir, Mr. McMahon, it is all being taken care of. I am pleased to hear that as well. Tell Stephanie congratulations on the birth of her daughter and…

RVD: Is that Vince on the line?

Coach: Shhh. No sir not you, RVD was just…

RVD rips the wire out of the phone connected to the headset and takes the cell from him.

RVD: Hey Vince, man, I want your okay to wrestle twice at Summer Slam. Me and Edge for the WWE Championship, and then me and Orton for the ECW Title. Is that okay? I called you Vince. What? Oh yeah, sorry, Mr. McMahon. Oh cool, thanks. Oh yeah, and tell Steph and Triple H I said congrats.

RVD tosses the cell back to Coach after he hangs up on Mr. McMahon.

Coach: You…you…you…

Heyman pushes Coach aside.

Heyman: So this is how it’s going to be? This is how we’re going to play now, Mr. Monday Night?

RVD: Don’t ever threaten me again, Paul. Not ever. See you in the ring later, when I let the world know what’s been decided.

RVD walks off, and from around a corner Kurt Angle steps out.

Kurt: So?

Heyman: We do what I didn’t want to do, Kurt, we take out Mr. Pay Per View at the PPV.

OR: 63

-After another commercial break, and after The Smackdown Rundown, it’s to the ring where Mickie James and Victoria are just entering the ring. At the announce table Coachman has again joined The King and JR, as the normal DX entrance begins.

Coach: To quote Mr. McMahon, who I might add is royally upset with Rob Van Dam, Shawn Michaels has no chance in hell here tonight.

JR: I would not count him out just yet, Coach.

Coach: Oh, he can beat them, I know that, but if he’s the changed Christian man he has claimed for the past few years, there is no way he is going to wrestle two women here tonight.

HBK is still on the floor, and he gets a mic from Grisham. He walks back over the the ramp, as the referee keeps Mickie and Victoria back.

HBK: Yannow, Coach, you said earlier I wouldn’t hit a woman if I’m a Christian. Well, I wouldn’t hit a woman when I was a heathen either. That said, this is a wrestling match, and it’s not quite the same thing, now is it? But that said too, they’re still women, which is why I had to do some quick thinking. I mean, I couldn’t get another partner, per your savvy rules, so I had to think outside the box. Or in this case, I had to make sure I stayed outside the ring. Ladies?

With that Maria and Candice rush into the ring from the crowd and attack Mickie and Victoria. They lay a beating on both women, with the help of two paddles they brought with them, and actually rip Victoria’s top clean off. She quickly covers up and rushes from the ring and up the ramp, past HBK who has his eyes covered, as inside the ring Candice hits her weak looking, and again botched, Neck Breaker on Mickie, followed by Maria doing a sad attempt at a Hogan Leg Drop on Mickie next. The two DX Diva Search finalists then hold the ropes open for HBK, who enters the ring as they leave.

HBK: Okay ref man, ring the bell.

Coach: This is…this is…

King: Ingenious.

JR: I gotta agree Coach.

Coach: Dammit no.

-WWE Tag Team Titles Handicap Match: HBK vs. Mickie and Victoria

HBK then gingerly rolls Mickie up, trying not to touch anything, as the ref calls for the bell then makes the 1-2-3 to end this match mere seconds after it officially begun.

OR: 65

Crowd: 77

OR: 67

JR: Well, DX are still the champions, Coach.

Coach throws his headset down as Maria and Candice rolls Mickie to the floor, then the DX music plays. HBK stand back as the two women dance the show into a commercial.

-After the commercial break “One Of A Kind” blares out and RVD comes from the back. He looks behind him, then shakes his head and just walks to the ring. Once inside he is given a mic.

RVD: Okay, so I guess Paul doesn’t wanna come out here and share my big news with you all. Oh well. Okay, at Summer Slam, I am going to defend both of these belts.

The fans cheer.

RVD: The WWE Championship is going to be on the line against Edge, unless Tommy can make a case for himself getting the shot after he just destroyed Edge out here earlier tonight. Hint hint, Tommy. As for this belt…

But RVD doesn’t get another word in as he’s attacked from behind by Randy Orton, who just levels him. Orton beats the holy hell out of RVD for a good minute or two, before the ECW theme music starts up and Paul Heyman walks out on the ramp with Angle at his side.

Heyman: Randy, you might want to stop for a second and take a listen to this. You see, while Mr. McMahon can make a match for our ECW World Title at Summer Slam, he can’t make the rules of said match. As such, the match will be, of course, ECW Rules. It will also be, as of right this very moment, a Triple Threat Match. And not the old WWE Triple Threat First Fall type of Triple Threat, but the ECW Elimination Triple Threat Match. And of course, the third man will be The Extreme Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle. Now, please, continue what we so rudely interrupted. Continue to soften up RVD so that Kurt can take the belt from him at Summer Slam that much easier.

Heyman and Angle walk off, as Orton lays the boots to RVD one last time, before he holds the ECW World Title high above his head and the show goes to a commercial.

OR: 80

-After the commercials, it’s to the double announce tables again, where Tazz and Joey Styles have yet again joined JR and The King.

Joey: And now it’s time for the Raw Main Event Chain Gang Match.

King: Hey, that’s JR’s line.

Tazz: I think Cena has once again bitten off way more than he can chew.

JR: I think…

But JR’s cut off as Sandman’s music plays. He makes his normal entrance, which takes a few minutes, then once he’s in the ring it’s Cena’s entrance. He comes out with the chain already attached to his wrist. He salutes the fans, then heads straight to the ring. The referee attaches the chain to Sandman, then the two men immediately begin exchanging punches as he calls for the bell.

-Main Event Chain Gang Match: John Cena vs. The Sandman

As JR and Joey explain the rules, the show goes to another commercial break. Afterwards, it’s clear that The Sandman has gained complete control of the match during the break. However as Sandman drags Cena towards the third turnbuckle, Cena grabs the ropes, the pulls hard on the chain. Sandman topples to the mat, and Cena rolls on top of him delivering lefts and rights. Sandman pushes him off, and does the same. Soon enough both men are just throwing wild lefts and rights back on their feet as the fans cheer.

JR: Cena is keeping up with the wilder, crazier Sandman here tonight.

Tazz: Barely.

After Sandman misses trying to whip Cena with the chain, Cena begins choking Sandman with it. Sandman makes it to the ropes, where he kicks off and lands hard on top of Cena. However Cena refuses to release them. Sandman struggles, but soon enough his struggling comes to an end, and Cena finally lets go. He drags Sandman to the first turnbuckle, then the second, and finally the third. However on the fourth one Sandman stops him and pulls on the chain much to the delight of the fans. The referee declares Cena’s momentum was lost.

Joey: Not yet King. It’s not over.

King: Yeah, but Sandman just lost some much needed brain cells.

However Joey spoke too soon, as Cena soon hits The FU and follows that up with The STFU. He keeps the hold on for some time, then starts hitting the turnbuckles again. He hits the fourth one, winning his own match, as the fans in attendance mostly cheer.

OR: 68

Crowd: 77

Match: 74

-As he is having his hand raised high, however, and before the ref can remove the chain, Balls Mahoney rushes down with his chair and lays Cena out. He then beats the hell out of The Sandman as well, before he holds his chair high. Once again on the stage Heyman stands looking on approvingly, with Angle at his side. However RVD comes rushing out and attacks Heyman, knocking him down. Angle grabs RVD and the two exchange some blows as Mahoney rushes up the ramp. Mahoney lays RVD out with the chair, and then Kurt Angle Slams RVD onto the metal stage. Heyman surveys the carnage, all smiles, then holds the arms of Angle and Mahoney high as the show ends.

OR: 65

Attendance: 7503

Edited August 29, 2006 by Messir TGC

[TGC]

wwe.com has learned that The Extreme Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle has been removed from the active roster effective immediately. While no reasons have been given, it is believed that he aggravated one of many nagging injuries Monday Night at the Raw TV Taping. As always, we will endeavor to find out more on this subject as quickly as we can.

To follow up on the news posted earlier today in regards to Kurt Angle being removed from the active roster, we can now confirm that this is indeed true, and that it came at the hands of the man who "owns" Kurt Angle's contract, ECW's own Paul Heyman. When asked about this, Mr. Heyman had the following to say:

"Sometimes as a leader I have to make some rough and hard decisions. I was forced to make one such decision this past Monday when it became neccessary to teach Rob Van Dam a lesson about respect and about his place in ECW. Sadly, I was forced to make another such decision yesterday in regards to The Extreme Wrestling Machine Kurt Angle. You see, Kurt lied to me when he said that he had been medically cleared to wrestle following his ankle injury at the hands of Randy Orton at Vengeance in June. Apparently Angle has been hiding this and many other injuries from myself and others in an attempt to come back onto the active roster. Sadly, after Raw on Monday I learned of the true nature of Mr. Angle's health, and I was both shocked and appalled that he would lie to the only man in the WWE that could do something about it. This newfound distrust, coupled with the fact that at Summer Slam neither Rob Van Dam nor Randy Orton must be allowed to walk out as the ECW World Champion, has forced me to remove Kurt for his own good, and for the good of ECW. Now we could call this a suspension, but I prefer to use the phrase "forcibly removed from active competition", and Kurt's status will remain as such until I get over the personal injury that our relationship has sustained due to his actions. Thank you."

[Your Mom]

WWE Friday Night Smackdown July 28th 2006

Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield are your announce team

The show starts off for the second week in a row with Gregory Helms already standing in the ring with a microphone.

Helms: Well here I am again. Opening up the show. Do you know why that is people? Do you know why I always open up the show? It’s because they want to get me out of the way and get me the hell out of the building. It’s because I’m not afraid to speak the truth. The WWE doesn’t care about me or this title. They bring in challengers for Rey all tha time. But what about me? I faced Scotty 2 Hotty last week! This week I face Funaki. Care to guess who I might face next week?

Helms pauses while some of the crowd boos, but is mostly silent.

Helms: I bet it’s Scotty again. And so on and so on until the end of time. The WWE doesn’t hire Cruiserweights because it knows you’re too stupid to get behind them. (crowd boos and Helms shakes his head) Let’s just get this over with.

He tosses the microphone back to Tony Chimel as Funaki’s music begins to play.

Cole: Welcome everyone to Friday Night Smackdown. After what turned out to be a grisly Great American Bash we are already set for action here tonight.

JBL: Grisly is putting it lightly Michael. That had to be the bloodiest pay per view I have ever seen in all my life. I mean The Undertaker…

Cole: We’ll discuss all that later John. Right now it’s time for some high flying cruiserweight action!

Funaki vs. Gregory Helms (Champion) WWE Cruiserweight Title

Funaki climbs into the ring and the bell sounds to start the opening contest on Smackdown. Helms offers a handshake and Funaki just looks at him confused. He offers again and Funaki still doesn’t react so Helms SLAPS HIM IN THE FACE! Helms lands a Crescent kick to the side of the head dropping Funaki to his knees. He backs up and attempts a SHINING WIZARD! Funaki rolls out of the way! Funaki throws some punches and then hits a dropkick sending Helms out to the floor.

Cole: Looks like Helms might have some competition after all JBL.

JBL: Maybe, but I kind of doubt it Michael. Funaki can start off strong, but he’s not a closer. He can’t get the job done in the end. Gregory Helms is a closer.

Helms climbs back up into the ring as Funaki keeps a close eye on him. They lock up and Funaki grabs a headlock. Funaki goes for a running bulldog, but Helms pushes him off. He turns and charges back at Helms and eats a SUPER KICK! Helms bounces off the ropes and hits a knee drop. He rolls forward to the opposite ropes and yells “INSTANT REPLAY!” before rolling backwards and repeating the move in slow motion.

JBL: I love it when he does that Michael! Double the fun all for the same price.

Cole: I still say it’s obnoxious.

Helms: DO YOU WANT ME TO GO TO THE TOP ROPES?

A few fans cheer.

Helms: Oh wait you don’t care about the Cruiserweights.

Helms applies a sleeper hold and they begin to boo. The hold last for nearly two minutes and the referee goes to check Funaki’s arm. 1 drop! 2 drops! On the third attempt Helms catches the arm! He sets Funaki on his knees using the corner to make sure he doesn’t fall over and then backs up getting ready. Finally he charges forward and hits the SHINING WIZARD! Cover 1…2…3!

Rating: 69/65/89

JBL: My god Michael! Can we get this man some competition? He is going to stop caring eventually.

Cole: It’s possible he already has JBL.

Helms holds up four fingers on each hand and just shakes his head as the show goes to the back.

Time for Business

We come to a shot of Teddy Long sitting behind the desk in his office.

Long: Smackdown fans. I have some good news for you. Now we all know that things got out of hand inside the Punjabi Prison. The Great Khali’s career is over and Daivari is scared for his life. I take a little bit of responsibility for that by allowing the match to happen, but the fact that a man is still in the hospital as we speak falls on only one man. So…Undertaker until I can further ponder your fate you are not allowed here on Smackdown.

The crowd booing in the arena can be heard.

Long: I know I know. But actions need consequences even if it’s the Undertaker. Now onto some more pleasant matters. I have been hard at work lining up new talent here on Smackdown. I want only the best for the fans and over the next few weeks and months that’s what you’re gonna get!

Some cheers can be heard now and Long smiles.

Long: Now that’s more like it! I got one more thing for you playas here tonight. Rey Mysterio is going to need an opponent for Summerslam. Now I just can’t decide who that’s going to be. So tonight I am taking the 20 best guys from Smackdown and putting them into a Battle Royale!

Teddy stands up looking excited.

Long: The winner gets a shot at Rey Mysterio at Summerslam! HOLLA!

The show goes to commercial.

Rating: 72%

Cole: We are back on Smackdown and JBL can you believe that huge announcement from our General Manager?

JBL: Michael sometimes I think he is an idiot and then he goes and does something like this. Can’t come up with a challenger? Well put them all in there and let them fight! I love it!

The Mexicools begin making their way down to the ring on their lawnmowers.

Cole: That is going to be a great match up for sure, but we have a great match up on our hands right now. This match could have a huge impact on the tag team title rankings.

The FBI are already in the ring and they jump the Mexicools as they enter.

The Mexicools vs. The FBI

Mamaluke tosses Psicosis out to the floor and the FBI double team Crazy. They hook him up and hit a double team suplex. They both begin to stomp away until the referee orders one of them out. So the match officially begins with Mamaluke against an already beaten down Super Crazy. Mamaluke snaps off a quick leg drop and covers 1…2…KICKOUT! Mamaluke picks him up and plants him with a scoop slam. Mamaluke hits three rapid fire elbow drops and then goes for another cover 1…2…KICKOUT! Tag to Guido and he takes over with an arm bar.

JBL: Michael these Italians may have come from ECW, but I am impressed by them anyway.

Cole: The FBI are an impressive combination. They are former ECW tag team champions, and getting their first major action here on Smackdown.

JBL: Well it’s been a long time comin Michael. They are laying a beating on the Mexicans.

Cole: The Mexicools you mean.

JBL: What did I say?

Cole: The Mexicans.

JBL: Are they not Mexicans Michael?

Cole: Well yes, but you somehow make it sound like a bad thing.

Guido continues to work over the arm with a series of arm submissions. He brings Crazy to his feet and then drops him straight to the mat with a SINGLE ARM DDT! Guido drops a leg right across the shoulder punishing Crazy even more. CROSS ARM BREAKER! Crazy screams out in pain as Guido wrenches the hold in. In the corner Psicosis begins to climb. He comes off with a GUILLOTINE LEG DROP ON GUIDO! Guido is down and out as Psicosis is pushed to the outside. Crazy pulls himself up but Mamaluke hits a MISSILE DROPKICK behind the referee’s back!

Cole: What a move by Mamaluke! But I think it back fired John. He sent Crazy right into his corner!

Crazy makes the tag! Psicosis jumps over the top and into the ring. Guido is up but a dropkick quickly takes him back down. Mamaluke charges in and gets hit with a kick to the gut. Psicosis grabs him and runs up the ropes hitting a TORNADO DDT! Psicosis gets up and poses, but from behind it’s Guido with a quick roll up 1…2…3!

Rating: 68/59/93

Guido grabs Mamaluke and quickly drags him out to the floor. They celebrate their victory as Psicosis can do nothing, but pound the mat in frustration.

JBL: What a smart move by Guido. These two EYEtalians are going to be big time here on Smackdown Michael. London and Kendrick had better watch out.

Cole: The tag team scene is really heating up here on Friday Night Smackdown. We’ve still got that big battle royale to come. We’ll be right back!

Be different

The show comes back on the air to a video of a run down park. Sitting atop a lone bench is CM Punk.

Punk: All my life I watched people being teased. Because they were different. Because they didn’t fit into the average crowd. Because at a party they didn’t think they had to drink or do drugs to have a good time. Because they dared live a life outside of drunken lecherous debauchery they were bullied. I could never stand bullies and I made it my job to stick up for anyone who had the guts to not conform. Who am I to step in you ask?

My name… is CM Punk

Rating: 81%

We come back on the air with a skinny black guy in lime green tights jumping up and down in the ring. He does a little shadow boxing and then some music that has been absent from Smackdown for the last few months begins to play.

Cole: Well it’s been months since we have seen this man on Smackdown, but Hardcore Holly is back.

JBL: And this man loves to just beat the hell out of people Michael.

Hardcore Holly vs. Jumping Jack Jackson

Holly climbs into the ring and Jackson continues jumping up and down looking excited. Holly just looks at him disgusted before slapping him in the side of head knocking him straight to the canvas. The referee looks startled and goes to check on Jackson.

JBL: Damn Michael did he knock him out?

Cole: It’s possible. This referee is doing the smart thing here and playing it safe.

Holly moves the referee aside and picks up Jackson. The fans boo as Holly props him up in the corner and lays in some stiff forearm shots. Holly easily throws him up over his head and executes the ALABAMA SLAM! The referee slides down to count the pin fall, but Holly doesn’t cover him.

Cole: Come on Holly! Just end it.

Holly drags Jackson up off the mat and hits another ALABAMA SLAM! This time he does cover Jackson with his boot. 1…2…HOLLY REMOVES HIS BOOT!

Cole: Oh come on! Just pin him you damn bully!

JBL: Michael he has months of pent up anger here. He is unleashing it just like Batista. You didn’t mind when Batista did it.

Cole: All he is doing is being a jerk and damn bully! This kid didn’t injure him. It was just a freak thing.

Holly smiles and hits yet another ALABAMA SLAM! He covers with the boot again. 123! The referee fast counts and quickly drags Jackson to safety,

Rating: 58/59/72

Holly poses and some of the crowd boos him.

The next step

The show cuts backstage to Gunner Scott walking into General Manager Teddy Long’s office.

Long: Gunner Scott. A man on the rise. What can I do for you playa?

Scott: Well Mr. Long. I want you to force Mr. Kennedy to face me tonight. I earned the match and now I want it!

Long pauses and lowers his head a bit.

Scott: What? What is it?!?

Long: Well the fact is Mr. Kennedy isn’t here tonight Gunner. And I haven’t been able to get him on the phone. (Scott starts looking angry) But wait just a second. I do have someone here who is real desperate to see you.

The camera pans over to show none other than CHRIS BENOIT standing in the corner of the room.

Scott: Chris! Hey you’re back man,

Benoit: Well not exactly back yet Gunner. Teddy Long has made it clear to me that he won’t let me wrestle again until I’m medically cleared. But you’ve been doing really well for yourself lately and I’d like to help you become the star that you can be.

Gunner smiles and puts out his hand for a handshake.

Scott: It would be my honor.

They shake hands.

Rating: 62%

A security guard rushes into Long’s office.

Security: Mr. Long we have a situation. Please stay in here sir.

A “situation”

The camera cuts out to the hallway and a line of security guards blocking the way to Teddy Long’s office. They all brandish their clubs as it’s revealed they are trying to stop the Undertaker who is calmly standing before them still carrying the same battle axe from the Great American Bash.

Security: Sir! We are asking politely for the last time. Please vacate the building!

Undertaker: You going to make me boy? Teddy Long and…(Taker looks at his axe) I got a meeting.

The men stand ready to strike if the Undertaker makes a move. Suddenly the door to Long’s office opens and the general manager comes out into the hallway.

Long: Undertaker. You need to leave right now.

Undertaker: What’s the matter? You unleashed it and now you don’t want to deal with it?

Long: I didn’t think it would go this far. I’m sorry I put you in that situation, but you went too far!

Undertaker: You don’t want to see me go too far. I’ll leave if that’s what you want. But don’t come crying to me next time you got a problem you want dealt with.

Undertaker turns and casually walks off as Long looks on concerned.

Rating: 75%

Cole: An uneasy situation backstage JBL. But I think we can both agree that the Undertaker took things too far last Sunday.

JBL: I think so Michael. I mean you can never really judge a man for what he does in the middle of a fight, but it was pretty obvious he had that match won way before it ended.

A pleasant distraction

We cut to a shot of Michelle McCool and Kristal Marshall walking down a hallway backstage.

Cole: Well JBL we go from a troubling scene to a something a lot more pleasant.

The scene switches to Ashley Massaro walking down a different hallway accompanied by Jillian Hall.

JBL: Like I always say Michael we got the hottest women on TV here on Friday Night Smackdown! My god look at em walk Michael. Look at it!

Cole: Tag team diva action is next!

The show cuts to commercial.

Rating: 61%

We come back on the air with Michelle and Kristal making their entrance. The crowd is mostly silent with the exception of Michelle’s climbing into the ring when they are treated to a good view.

JBL: Oh if only I had a teacher like Michelle McCool when I was in school Michael. I can’t get enough of her or Kristal.

The music changes and Ashley and Jillian make their way down to a good pop from the crowd. They play to the crowd and Jillian shakes her chest much to their delight.

JBL: I can’t get enough of these two either Michael! I love our divas!

Cole: So do these fans John. They especially love Ashley and Jillian.

They climb into the ring so the match can officially begin.

Ashley Massaro and Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool and Kristal Marshall

Jillian starts off in the ring with Kristal. They lock up and Jillian quickly grabs her up and hits a scoop slam.

Cole: Hey JBL your former image consultant knows a few holds.

JBL: I had to teach her a few in case I needed her to handle some business for me.

Cole: You would have had Jillian fight your battles for you?!?

JBL: Someone had to take care of all the women trying to beat down my door Michael. What? You think I should hit a woman?

Cole: Oh please. Well at least your diet since retirement has taken care of that supposed problem.

The action continues as Hall goes for an elbow drop, but Kristal rolls out of the way.

JBL: I’ll have you know the ladies still love every bit of me Michael Cole.

Kristal gets is some offense pulling the hair and choking Jillian. She makes the tag and Michelle takes over with some kicks to the prone Jillian. Michelle taunts Ashley and Massaro can’t help but try to climb into the ring. The referee cuts her off and McCool gets a chokehold in behind his back. Michelle pulls Jillian up to her feet and slaps her across the face!

McCool: This is you Ashley! See this? This is you!

She goes for another slap, but Jillian blocks! Forearm by Jillian! And one more! She grabs Michelle by the back of the head and shoves her between her cleavage! The crowd cheers as she shakes it before letting her go and tagging in Ashley. Ashley hooks her up and hits a DDT! She makes the cover and Jillian stops Kristal from making the save 1…2…3!

Rating: 44/61/22

Cole: A big win for Ashley and Jillian. JBL up next we have a huge 20 man battle royale!

JBL: The Royal Rumble is coming early Michael!

A team or not a team?

Backstage Matt and Jeff Hardy are getting ready in their locker room.

Matt: So you know were not back together right?

Jeff: What do you mean? Were brothers of course were together.

Matt: Well yeah, but we aren’t going to tag team.

Jeff: Who said I wanted to tag team? You needed help on Sunday and I happened to be there.

Matt: Ok because just so you know I got my eyes on that Heavyweight title shot.

Jeff: Well so do I. So does that mean we are going to fight tonight?

Matt: Only if we have to. We can help each other though. I mean… if you want.

Jeff: Well we are brothers.

They both laugh and shake their heads as the show goes to commercial.

Rating: 75%

We come back on the air with Tony Chimel in the ring. He explains the rules of the match in that it’s exactly like a Royal Rumble except only one minute in between entrants due to TV time restraints.

Chimel: And now the man who drew number 1!

The fans are at a hush in anticipation. The music hits and the fans rise to their feet.

Chimel: BATISTA!

Batista makes his way out and the fans pop huge for him as he goes through his poses and he sets off his pyro machine gun style. He climbs into the ring as the music changes and Chimel introduces number 2.

Chimel: JAKE GYMINI!

Chimel exits as Jake makes his way down the aisle and the match is underway.

20 man battle royal for a shot at the World Heavyweight title at Summerslam

Jake jumps over the top and into the ring showing impressive agility for a big man, but Batista charges and clotheslines him over the top and to the floor!

JBL: Ha! Well I was going to say Batista has an uphill battle having to go through 19 men, but I guess it’s only 18 now.

Cole: Batista is unleashing some of that pent up rage left over from the Great American Bash.

JBL: He better keep some of it in for now Michael. Not all of these guys can be Mark Henry.

Cole: But one of them is. Will it be this next man to come out?

The crowd counts down the last 5 seconds with the clock and entrant number 3 comes out for a startling case of déjà vu. Jesse Gymini makes his way down the ramp looking fired up. He hops into the ring and just like his brother gets clotheslined over the top and to the floor!

JBL: Michael was that an instant replay?

Cole: Our eyes aren’t playing tricks on us John. Batista has eliminated both members of the Gymini in a matter of seconds!

JBL: Hell he might just go ahead and tear through all 20 guys.

Cole: He might.

Batista paces around looking to actually have a smile on his face at the ridiculousness of what just happened. 5….4….3….2….1! The music hits and the smile goes away.

JBL: Here we go Michael! Hold onto something cause the building is about to get torn apart!

Cole: This is going to get ugly. Here comes MARK HENRY!

Henry stomps out talking smack and already sweating up a storm. He points angrily at Batista and makes his way down to the ring. He climbs in and both men pause to stare at each other for just a second and then IT’S ON! Punches begin flying as the two huge athletes club away at each other. Henry knocks him backwards and then runs him down with a shoulder block. Henry signals that he’s going to finish him! He picks Batista up into position for THE WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Instead of slamming him down Henry moves towards the ropes.

JBL: Here goes Batista Michael! No World title shot for the Animal.

Henry tries to toss him over, but Batista holds on and both men tumble over the top and to the floor! They don’t let that stop them as they continue fighting on the floor.

Cole: My god! Batista and Mark Henry are both eliminated! These two were the favorites in this one. I can’t believe it!

JBL: Michael these two are in a war and right now that may be more on their mind than even a shot at the title.

Batista and Henry continue slugging it out towards the backstage area with security following after them. The fans continue to cheer on Batista until the clock counts down again. 5…4…3…2…1!

AINT NO STOPPIN ME NOW!

Shelton Benjamin makes his way out in one of his designer shirts looking pleased with his situation.

Cole: Shelton Benjamin is here on Smackdown! This must be the man Teddy Long was talking to on the phone last week!

JBL: Finally Teddy Long does something right Michael. Shelton Benjamin! An unappreciated gem in that Monday Night Garbage Dump is here on Smackdown where he belongs. Go on kid! It’s your time to shine.

Cole: Fans we are going to use this lapse in the action to take a commercial break. We’ll get back to you as soon as we can. WHO WILL WIN THE TITLE SHOT?

The show comes back on the air with Benjamin down on the canvas and Paul London snapping off a flying head scissors sending Kid Kash down to the mat. He nips right up to his feet and poses to a large pop from the crowd. 5….4…3…2…1! Finlay charges down the ramp and quickly enters the fray.

Cole: Fans we are back and as you can see we have added a few competitors since the break. No one was eliminated and Finlay was entrant number 8 I believe. 8 right JBL?

JBL: That’s right Michael. The fighting Irishman is number 8 and ready to do some damage in honor of his king whether he can be here to see it or not.

Finlay drops London with a big clothesline and Kash smiles. He goes to talk strategy with Finlay and Finlay drops him with a clothesline! Finlay stomps away at both men as Shelton stays hidden in an opposite corner.

JBL: Finlay don’t team with anybody Michael! This is like a typical night at the pub for Finlay. Stomp everything that moves!

Finlay turns his attention towards Benjamin and the crowd cheers. 5…4…3…2…1! MATT HARDY draws number 9 and can’t get down the aisle quick enough as he slides into the ring and goes straight for Finlay. Finlay attempts a right hand and it’s blocked. Hardy hits a series of right hands and follows that up with the SIDE EFFECT! Matt pops up and takes off his shirt to a high pitched cheer from the crowd. While the shirt is still in front of his face Benjamin hits Hardy with a SUPER KICK! 5…4…3…2…1! SIMON DEAN is out at number 10 and doesn’t look to be in too much of a hurry to get into the ring.

Cole: We are halfway done with this one fans and the ring is starting to fill up with superstars.

Finlay goes back to work on Hardy as Shelton once again retreats to his corner. On the opposite side Kash throws London over the top! London holds on and comes down on the apron. Kash comes back at him with a right hand, but London blocks it. London hooks him in position for a SUPLEX!

JBL: He’s going to suplex him to the floor Michael!

Jamie Noble comes running down the aisle! He grabs London and rips him off the apron eliminating him.

Cole: What is Jamie Noble doing?!? He isn’t supposed to be out here yet!

5….4…3…2…1! Noble rolls into the ring.

JBL: Ha! Happy now Michael?

Cole: He still cheated!

JBL: Ya do what it takes when a shot at the title is on the line Michael! Throw your morals and ethics out the window. This is war!

Hardy desperately holds on to the top rope as Finlay tries to throw him over. Dean continues to hide on the outside as The Pitbulls spot Shelton Benjamin and begin to move in. Shelton’s eyes get wide as he looks for an escape route. The Pitbulls cut him off and Benjamin is cornered. 5…4…3…2…1! BOBBY LASHLEY is number 12 and he makes his way down. He spots Simon Dean on the outside and attacks! Dean sprints away and takes refuge in the ring. Lashley slides in after him and Dean attacks him! Lashley quickly fights through it and gets to his feet. He lifts Dean up into a GORILLA PRESS!

Dean: OH GOD NO!

Lashley tosses him over the top and to the floor. The Pitbulls turn from a downed Benjamin and charge at Lashley! They begin clubbing him down and Lashley drops to one knee. 5…4…3…2…1! SCOTTY 2 HOTTY is out next and dances his way down to the ring. He slides in just as Lashley gets a surge of energy! He grabs Noble by the head and tosses him over the top and out! BELLY TO BELLY OVER THE TOP ON KASH! He is gone too. Scotty claps, but Lashley charges him and clotheslines him over the top! He sees Hardy and Finlay struggling against the ropes. He charges over and DUMPS BOTH MEN OUT! The crowd pops huge as he turns and points at the only man left in the ring Shelton Benjamin.

Cole: BOBBY LASHLEY JUST ELIMINATED 5 MEN!

JBL: Michael he is a man on fire! No one is going to be safe from this huge gorilla.

Shelton begs off, but Lashley runs him down with a clothesline! 5…4…3…2…1! WILLIAM REGAL saunters down with his fist clenched and an angry look on his face. Lashley continues to beat down on Benjamin as Regal sneaks into the ring. Regal clips Lashley from behind and the big man crumples down to the mat. Regal continues to work away at the leg. Benjamin stumbles up and joins in on the beating until 5….4…3…2…1! GUNNER SCOTT charges down and goes after Benjamin and Regal! Both men take right hand after right hand until Gunner knocks Regal into the corner and focuses his attack on Benjamin. He whips him into the corner and climbs to the second rope. Gunner begins throwing down punches 1…2….3…4…SHELTON TOSSES HIM BACKWARDS TO THE FLOOR!

JBL: Better start that training with Benoit right away kid! You got a long way to go.

Cole: I think Gunner just got over excited here tonight. I believe this was his first battle royal.

Benjamin sits in the corner taking a moment to recover.

Cole: I’m sorry we have to take one last quick break. WHO CAN HOLD ON AND WIN THIS MATCH?

The show comes back from commercial with a chair flying into Benjamin’s face! He falls to the mat as Sabu takes a moment to point to the sky. A quick scan around the ring show everyone is down on the canvas including new entrants Tatanka and Brian Kendrick.

Cole: Sabu has just entered this match up and laid waste to everyone John! No man was safe from Sabu’s chair.

JBL: He’s lookin like the favorite right now Michael!

They replay all of Sabu’s chair shots as they talk.

Cole: Looks like it JBL, but we still have two men yet to enter this one.

Back to live action and a referee drags the chair out of the ring distracting Sabu. This allows Regal to grab a waist lock and drop Sabu on his head with a German suplex. Lashley gets to his feet and starts scanning around for a victim. His eyes settle on Benjamin who looks groggy and doesn’t see him. SPEAR BY LASHLEY! Tatanka is up and hits Regal with a chop. Another thunderous chop sends Regal into the ropes. Tatanka backs up and charges in for a clothesline and Regal grabs the rope and drops to the mat. Tatanka tumbles over the top and is eliminated! 5….4…3…2…1!

Cole: JEFF HARDY! What a draw for the man who just returned to the WWE JBL!

JBL: Only one draw is better Michael. Jeff could be the brother to break out and win the belt.

Jeff hits the ring and goes right after Regal. Hardy throws some punches, but Regal overpowers him and tosses him into the corner. European uppercuts rock Hardy as the other three men in the match take a moment to recover. Hardy dodges out of the way a Regal punch and fires back with some kicks to Regal’s gut knocking him into the corner. Hardy runs to the opposite corner and charges at Regal. POETRY IN MOTION! Regal catches Hardy and dumps him over the top! Hardy lands on the apron, but a knee strike by Regal knocks him to the floor! 5….4…3…2…1! NUMBER 20 IS TEST! He slowly makes his way down the ramp smiling. In the ring Kendrick is trying to pick Sabu up off the mat. Test sees the opportunity and attacks Kendrick. FULL NELSON BOMB!

JBL: This is it Michael. One of these six is gonna get the shot. Who would you put your money on?

Cole: Test has the advantage being the freshest man, but Sabu just wont die. Regal and Lashley have both been powerhouses too! And Benj…

JBL: Damn Michael! You can’t pick all of them.

Test and Sabu team up to toss Kendrick over the top. He holds on! Kendrick pulls himself back up, but Test hits a BIG BOOT! Kendrick flies down to the floor and out of the match.

JBL: Good thing you didn’t pick Kendrick I guess.

Lashley finds himself in the middle of the ring as Test, Sabu, Regal, and Benjamin each occupy a corner. The four men look at each other and seemingly have the same thing on their mind, but Regal is the only one to charge forward. He begins pounding away at Lashley with forearms. Lashley fires back with punches and charges Regal for a clothesline, but Regal ducks sending Lashley reeling into the ropes. Regal charges and Lashley hits a BACK BODY DROP TO THE FLOOR! Regal is out.

Cole: It’s down to four! Things still don’t look good for Bobby Lashley.

All three men swarm Lashley and beat him down to one knee. Lashley yells and throws his arms out powering to his feet. Benjamin is knocked back into the corner, but Sabu and Test stay on him. They drag the big man over to the ropes and try and dump him over. Lashley holds on as both men pile on trying to get as much leverage as possible. Benjamin gets to his feet and sees Lashley teetering on the brink with the ECW contingent on the ropes. Benjamin charges the pile and DUMPS ALL THREE MEN OVER THE TOP AT THE SAME TIME! Shelton drops to the canvas as his music begins to play.

Rating: 59/68/64

Cole: Shelton Benjamin has won it! He has a World Heavyweight Title match at SUMMERSLAM!

JBL: On his first night Michael! His first night!

Cole: The road to Summerslam is taking shape! We are out of time. See you all next week on FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN!

Benjamin pulls himself up by the ropes as the show fades out.

Overall Card Rating: 63%

T.V. Rating: 5.91

Attendance: 7014