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WWE Reunification: December 2006+


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When Vince McMahon made the executive decision to "extend" the WWF brand name in 2001, he told the Pro Wrestling Torch that, "we can't have all [of our Superstars] on one show. It would be good in many ways to have Rock on Thursdays, but not on Mondays... [Within the parameters of the pre-split format] there is nothing compelling enough between Monday and Thursday. You can catch up on what you missed on Thursday if you don't watch on Monday. If we split the talent, then viewers would have to watch both shows just to see [all of their favorites]." At the time, the WWF's talent roster was arguably deeper than it had ever been before owing chiefly to the acquisitions of the WCW and ECW brands as well as the robustness of the promotion's developmental system under the auspices of then-VP of Talent Relations Jim Ross. The household names of the Attitude Era (such as Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock) could continue to drive business for the federation while also elevating a new crop of top stars (including Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle). All the while, Ohio Valley Wrestling would actively product yet another new generation of headliners (like Brock Lesnar and Sean O'Haire). In short, the World Wrestling Federation had the resources, momentum, and infrastructure necessary to reinvent the Sports-Entertainment wheel. The RAW/Smackdown! split would not only freshen up a product weakened by the disastrous Alliance angle, but also had the potential literally to double the company's revenue stream, and then some.

Six years later, World Wrestling Entertainment was in a far different position. Politics and ineptitude had combined with the inevitable end of the wrestling boom to create a sad state of affairs. Former mainstays along the lines of Austin and The Rock have distanced themselves from the product or even severed ties completely. The Jerichos and Angles who might otherwise have drawn for RAW and Smackdown! for years and years to come have faded from the WWE scene. Talents once considered "money in the bank" fizzled out by choice (eg Lesnar) or involuntarily (eg O'Haire). The failure of the WWE machine to create and maintain a viable roster of stars as well as the decision to extend the brand even further by halfheartedly reviving the ECW brand has led to creative and financial stagnation. The downward trend has been gradual but steady. Despite his undeniable savvy, McMahon has turned a blind eye to his company's very real issues for years: his daughter has maintained a firm control of the creative side of the business and his son-in-law has stubbornly held onto his position at the top of cards to the detriment of other talents and World Wrestling Entertainment in general. In short, WWE has failed to evolve.

In November 2006, it all finally bottomed out for WWE. Six years worth of narcissism and shortsightedness culminated with the Cyber Sunday pay-per-view. The show was headlined by a lackluster main event pitting the champions of the promotion's three brands against each other to determine the "Champion of Champions." When the brand split was initially conceived around November 2001, one of the aims of the move had been to create the potential for "cross-promotional" dream matches between the "competing" RAW and Smackdown! brands. But the "Champion of Champions" match at Cyber Sunday between John Cena, King Booker, and The Big Show had hardly captured fans' imaginations. The undercard of the event was just as disappointing: the ever-aging Degeneration-X continued to big-foot talents who are in what should be the primes of their careers; the plodding megapush of a retread Samoan monster character continued; the crowd went mild for a 4-way Texas Tornado match between the four teams that comprised RAW's dying tag team division; career midcarders Jeff Hardy and Carlito had another meaningless match for the equally meaningless Intercontinental Championship; the endless parade of nondescript divas was trotted out yet again; and Ric Flair and Roddy Piper -- at a combined age of 109 -- defeated two male cheerleaders to capture their World Tag Team Titles. WWE had produced innumerable events as limp as this one during the course of its five year downward spiral, but what ultimately set this one apart was that it would prove to be the straw that broke the camel's back. WWE had over-saturated the pay-per-view market. Mixed martial arts shows were doing record-breaking numbers, while sales for WWE events were dipping to dangerous lows. When McMahon was faced with early buyrate estimates for Cyber Sunday, it was clear: he could no longer afford to live in blissful ignorance.

It was time to reinvent the wheel once again. In 2001, he resolved in the Torch "to get back to things that make sense." In 2001, what made sense was to exploit the fact that the WWF was bursting at the seams with both bankable and future stars. What made sense was to extend the brands. In 2006, the roster had been decimated by attrition, bad booking, and overexposure. RAW, Smackdown!, ECW: World Wrestling Entertainment was simply spread too thin. The brand had been "extended" beyond its limit; now, it was time to consolidate. It was time to for a "brand contraction": for a reunification. A new day was to dawn at the Survivor Series pay-per-view on November 26th.

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match

Team Big Show def. Team Cena

Big Show eliminates Rob Van Dam; Kane eliminates MVP; Test eliminates Sabu; Bobby Lashley eliminates Finlay; Lashley eliminates Test; Umaga eliminates Lashley; Big Show eliminates Kane; Cena eliminates Big Show; Umaga eliminates Cena with the assistance of "Champion of Champions" King Booker.

WWE United States Title Match

Chris Benoit © def. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo again goes after the knee of Benoit with a steel chair, but the Rabid Wolverine battles back and forces Guerrero to submit to the Crippler Crossface.

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match

Team Legends def. Team Spirit Squad

Kenny eliminates Sgt. Slaughter; Johnny eliminates Ron Simmons; Dusty Rhodes eliminates Nicky; Ric Flair eliminates Mikey; Johnny eliminates Dusty Rhodes; Ric Flair eliminates Johnny; Ric Flair eliminates Kenny when Arn Anderson foils the attempted interference of Johnny.

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match

Team Rated RKO def. Team DX

Matt Hardy eliminates Gregory Helms; Johnny Nitro eliminates Matt Hardy; Johnny Nitro eliminates Jeff Hardy; CM Punk eliminates Mike Knox; Randy Orton eliminates CM Punk; Shawn Michaels eliminates Johnny Nitro; Edge eliminates Shawn Michaels; Triple H eliminates Randy Orton; Edge eliminates Triple H after clocking him with a World Tag Team Title belt.

First Blood Match

Mr. Kennedy def. The Undertaker

The Undertaker wastes no time in seeking his revenge against Kennedy for his recent sneak attacks. But Kennedy has an ace up his sleeve: on-again, off-again ally MVP, who tries turning the tide in Kennedy's favor. MVP and Kennedy double-team the Phenom while referee Charles Robinson is out cold. Kane, though, comes to his brother's rescue, hitting the ring and chokeslamming MVP straight to hell. Kennedy bails while Kane helps The Undertaker to his feet -- only to lift him up and deliver a devastating Tombstone at mid-ring! Kane stalks to the back. While the audience is left to try and determine why the Big Red Machine has stabbed his brother in the back, Kennedy uses his trusty microphone to draw blood from the forehead of the Undertaker. Robinson comes to and declares Kennedy the winner of the brutal match!

WWE Women's Title; Lita's Retirement Match

Mickie James def. Lita ©

Lita works James over methodically during the match, even dropping her with a Brainbuster at one point. An overconfident Lita breaks up many of her own pin attempts, and this ends up costing her. Mickie rallies around the six-minute mark, and defeats Lita for the title in humiliating fashion with the Litacanrana! Lita walks away from her retirement match in tears.

World Heavyweight Title Match

King Booker © def. Batista

This would be Batista's last and final shot at wresting the gold from the waist of the King. Soon after countering a BookEnd, Batista drops Booker with a Spinebuster and sets up for the Batista Bomb. Queen Sharmell hits the ring and nails Batista with a low blow. Referee Nick Patrick allows the match to continue, but orders Sharmell to the back, leaving both her and her husband in disbelief. Later, Booker brings in his scepter to use as a shortcut in putting the Animal away, but Batista outpowers him for the weapon and proceeds to break it in two and throw it from the ring. Still, Booker is able to kick out following a power slam. Minutes later, the champion hits his Scissors Kick. He then ventures outside the margins of his traditional playbook by locking Batista in the Sharpshooter, of all moves! Patrick stays alert for a possible submission by the challenger, but Batista refuses to give in. Just then, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon walks to the ring with purpose. McMahon watches from ringside as Booker continues to apply the full pressure of the submission hold. Color commentator JBL observes that he is experiencing deja vu. As if on cue, McMahon looks to timekeeper Mark Yeaton and issues the chilling order: "Ring the damn bell!" Yeaton obeys, and ring announcer Tony Chimmel declares King Booker the winner of the match! Confused, Patrick hands the title belt back over to a jubilant Booker while Batista stands at mid-ring at a complete loss for words. The Animal directs his piercing gaze at a red-faced, clenched-jawed McMahon. The Chairman takes the microphone from Chimmel. "I know what you're asking yourselves," he says. "Why? Why did Vince screw Dave? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you precisely why -- tomorrow night, live on RAW." Survivor Series concludes on this, a stunning note.

Edited by tqwcw
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You know, I really wish you could find an idea and stick with it for a long period of time because you are truly a great writer. I've enjoyed both diaries that you've put out so far, and would have loved them both to continue. Only thing I've really got to mention at this time, is please, for the love of all that is godly, not another Kane/Undertaker feud. Please! Don't make me beg!

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November 27 2006

Pittsburgh, PA -- Mellon Arena

Attendance: 9048

Announcers: Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler

In the Ring

After RAW's usual opening and pyro, the music of the Chairman of WWE brings a confident, determined Mr. McMahon down to the ring. As he makes his way down the aisle, JR and the King wonder why Mr. McMahon did what he did to Batista last night, and why he has chosen RAW as the venue in which to address the issue. After absorbing the traditional heckling of the fans, McMahon speaks.

Mr. McMahon: Last week on this very program, I addressed all of the participants in last night's Traditional Survivor Series matches. I laid down the law and made it clear to those WWE Superstars that they were to wait until Sunday night to hash out their issues. I, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, issued a direct order and at the conclusion of the broadcast, each and every one of those men flagrantly disobeyed my command. As I watched the whole thing break down from the back, it occurred to me that somewhere along the way, the people who work for me seem to have forgotten exactly who it is that signs the checks around here. Perhaps they forgot it when Degeneration X left me in a pool of my own blood a number of weeks ago. Then again, it may very well have slipped the minds of the Superstars while my head was literally shoved up the Big Show's ass in Hell in a Cell. In truth, it doesn't matter when this change in attitude among the Superstars of RAW and Smackdown! and the Extremists of ECW occurred; what matters is that it did. And as you're all aware, this happens to be a special time of year for yours truly: not because of the Thanksgiving holiday, and not simply because tis the season during which you people are compelled to further line my pockets as you prepare for Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa. It's a time that's near and dear to me chiefly because of the Survivor Series. That's right. Survivor Series is an event that will forever live in infamy, because in 1997, I established that I am without question the most powerful individual in this business. I screwed Bret "The Hitman" Hart; you're damn straight, I did. And I did it because I could. I did it because I owned Bret Hart, just as I own each and every one of the WWE Superstars sitting in the back. This is my baby; this is my industry, and I will run it as I see fit, dammit. The defiance that I had to endure last week was simply unacceptable. The humiliation I've suffered at the hands of the Degeneration X-es and Stone Cold Steve Austins of the world will not stand. Last year, World Wrestling Entertainment declared that "the power was back." Well, I declare to you again that the power is back: the power is back in the hands of Vince McMahon. And if you don't believe me, I suggest you ask Dave Batista. Batista lost his last and final shot at the World Heavyweight Champion, King Booker, last night -- and he lost that match because of yours truly. He lost that match because I wanted to prove my point, and quite frankly, I think I was successful. And I asked all of my WWE Superstars and ECW Extremists here tonight in part to hear this message loudly and clearly, but also because I've decided to shake the foundation of Sports Entertainment to its very core. I control the very destiny of this business: I hold it in my hands. Last week demonstrated quite dramatically that things have gone too far. Things have gotten out of control. There are degenerates running wild on RAW. Smackdown! is completely without law and order. And ECW has never been anything but a cesspool of deviants and rejects. It's time to pull back on the reins. Five years ago when RAW and Smackdown! became separate entities, they became separate entities because I had no choice in the matter: I was suffering under the burden of the co-ownership of the WWE by Ric Flair. But things have changed. I beat Ric Flair game, set, match and I reduced him to the shell of a man he is now. RAW is mine once more. Hell, I've even got full ownership of ECW. I am the power, and the power is back. It's time to shake things up, and that is exactly what I'm going to do. You see, I won't be delegating authority anymore. Theodore Long, Paul Heyman, and Jonathan Coachman should consider themselves redundant. The WWE Superstars and ECW Extremists should consider themselves at my disposal; they perform at the pleasure of one man and one man only: Vincent K. McMahon. It's time to make things simple again. There will be no more petty, interbrand rivalries. There will cease to be a never-ending list of titles and champions in WWE. It's no longer a matter of RAW vs. Smackdown! vs. ECW; it's now an issue of Survival of the Fittest. One promotion, one roster of Superstars, and if the competition is too fierce for any of the men -- or women -- in the locker room, they will suffer the consequences of natural selection. That process starts right here, right now, and it culminates on New Year's Eve, live on pay-per-view at Armageddon. At that event, we're going to do some pruning. We're going to solve the problem of redundancy, because there will be a unification. A reunification. There will no longer be WWE Champion and a World Heavyweight Champion at the conclusion of that event; rather, from then on, Sports-Entertainment will have one WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Sports-Entertainment will have one set of WWE World Tag Team Champions. And the United States Champion and Intercontinental Champion will be one and the same. I told you that the power was back, and I meant what I said. Now, I'm sure you're all asking yourselves the same question: if Mr. McMahon wanted to shock the world; if he wanted to bring the Superstars back in line, why do it at the expense of Batista? Why reward King Booker? My actions last night were a means to an end. I have no bias toward King Booker, and to prove that, I've decided that the World Heavyweight Champion will make his return to RAW here tonight. As a matter of fact, he'll be facing off against a man he would consider a true peasant; he'll be facing off against The Sandman! Of course, speaking of Extremists, it is worth mentioning that, on this Sunday night, December 3rd, the ECW World Championship will be on the line in the first ever Extreme Elimination Chamber Match at December to Dismember on pay-per-view. Now, before I am accused of being out of touch with my audience, I submit to you that I have a full understanding of what it is that WWE fans crave. I understand that the bloody, hardcore violence of ECW has a particularly strong appeal to the masses, and it is with that in mind that I have decided to keep the ECW Championship alive. The ECW Championship will live on on RAW and Smackdown! as the WWE Extreme World Championship, and it will be contested exclusively under Extreme Rules. Of course, my pick for the Extreme Elimination Chamber on December 9th is my good friend and the current Extreme World Champion, the Big Show. As a matter of fact, to be frank, the four ECW "fan favorites" who have qualified to compete in that match have done little to impress me. But one of my many strengths is my fairness, my open-mindedness, and so I am going to give the four men to whom I allude ample opportunity to impress me tonight. Tonight, I have decided to take four of the toughest SOBs in Sports-Entertainment and to use them as a sort of collective, extreme measuring stick. Those four men are Hardcore Holly, Mike Knox, Finlay, and the Samoan Bulldozer himself, Umaga. And against them I am going to pit the four Extremists who have something to prove headed into December to Dismember, and they are the suicidal, homicidal, genocidal Sabu; the Straight Edge, CM Punk; Bobby Lashley; and Rob Van Dam. And, because I wouldn't want to leave him out, I've decided that the sixth man in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, Test, will be at ringside for expert insight and commentary during the match. One thing is for certain: we are about to find out who is truly extreme. Remember: survival of the fittest. To sum up, it would probably be best to borrow a phrase from -- well, from good ol' JR. "Folks: business is about to pick up."

A satisfied McMahon stands at mid-ring as the world reacts to his series of bombshells. Before commercial, Ross and Lawler promote Booker vs. The Sandman and the "Extreme Measuring Stick" 8-Man. Also, Carlito has invited Kane to appear as his guest on a special edition of the Cabana this evening to explain why he stabbed his own brother in the back last night at Survivor Series. Plus, will Batista respond to last night's devastating screwjob?


Vince McMahon gained overness.

Non-Title Tag Team Match

Full Blooded Italians (with Trinity) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Brian Kendrick & Paul London (with Ashley)

The opening match -- between former Smackdown!- and ECW-exclusive teams respectively -- illustrates the reintegrated nature of the WWE roster. As the champions perform their energetic entrance, Ross and Lawler note that Kendrick & London's unification match with Rated RKO at Armageddon will be their biggest to date. The athleticism of the four men involved in this match backs up Mr. McMahon's claim that competition will be stepped up in the "new" WWE; at one point, Guido and Mamaluke are double-teaming Kendrick on the outside and London breaks that up by performing a swan dive over the top rope onto all three men down below. Trinity, clad in her trademark caution tape, tries distracting Kendrick a few minutes later as he works over Guido in the ring. Ashley puts a stop to that by pulling Trinity off the turnbuckle and taking her down with a Thesz Press! Guido is able to make the tag to Mamaluke, but Kendrick slips out of an attempted Northern Lights Suplex and hits Mamaluke with Sliced Bread #2. London prevents Guido from breaking up the pin, and Kendrick & London pick up the victory in their spirited RAW debut!

WINNERS: London & Kendrick by pinfall.

London and Kendrick's victory celebration is cut unceremoniously short when Rated RKO hit the ring from the crowd. Orton catches London with an RKO while Edge hits Kendrick with a big Spear. A helpless Ashley can do nothing but look on and then tend to her men when they roll out of the ring. Rated RKO both wear smug grins at mid-ring.


In the Ring

Edge and Orton demand microphones from Lilian Garcia.

Edge: So much for your WWE Tag Team Champions.

Randy Orton: You know, Edge, I think we just made the pecking order abundantly clear. And we also made it clear that there's no reason to wait until Armageddon to do this Unification Match. I say it should be Rated RKO vs. whoever the hell those geeks were for the WWE World Tag Team Championships next week, here on RAW.

Edge: Sounds like a fine idea to me, Randy. You know, it'll be just another feather in our cap -- kinda like our victory last night at Survivor Series over Team DX.

Randy Orton: What do you think, Edge? Given the fact that we decimated DX yet again, do you think Shawn and Hunter will finally get the picture? Will they finally call off the nostalgic reunion tour?

Edge: If only, Randy; if only. No; I'm not holding my breath because, you see, I've come to terms with the fact that the only way Shawn Michaels and Triple H are going to assume their rightful places out to pasture is if we put them there.

Randy Orton: Oh, no, Edge; I think you mean when we put them there. And we will. I was the youngest World Champion in WWE history, and Triple H cut me off at the knees out of insecurity. You're the Rated-R Superstar -- the most controversial personality to step into a WWE ring in years. You're everything DX wishes they could still be. The problem is, we make Shawn Michaels and Triple H obsolete, and that's got to terrify them.

Edge: You're right. It's funny that Mr. McMahon should come out and talk about survival of the fittest, because from where I sit, it might be a good idea for someone to put the Heartbreak Kid and the Game on the endangered species list, because their days? They're numbered.

Just then, static appears on the TitanTron and Triple H and Shawn Michaels materialize from their locker room, where they're both enjoying SnoCones. Rated RKO are not amused.

Triple H: Whoa now, boys. Them's fightin' words!

Shawn Michaels: Now, now, Hunter; take it easy. You wouldn't want to cut Randy Orton off at the knees, again.

Triple H: Point taken. And, you know, my head is still smarting from that belt shot I took from Edge last night. Talk about controversial; that's never been done before!

Shawn Michaels: I know I feel threatened by these young studs.

Triple H: Maybe they're right. Maybe Randy and Edge do deserve more respect, Shawn.

Shawn Michaels: Maybe so. After all, they could make history next week: they could become first ever "WWE World Tag Team Champions."

Triple H: That's right. It would be a true milestone, and I don't know about you, but I'd like to be there, in the flesh, to see it play out.

Shawn Michaels: Oh, totally. I'm there. Count me in.

Triple: Kendrick & London vs. Rated RKO for the WWE World Tag Team Championship, with DX in the front row to watch history unfold live.

Shawn: And, hey; if you're not down with that, we get two words for ya...

The crowd responds on cue as Orton and Edge fume in response.



Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy is chatting with brother Matt.

Jeff Hardy: I couldn't believe Lita lost that retirement match, man.

Matt Hardy: Yeah. My heart is breaking.

Jeff: I bet.

Matt: But what about you? You and Chris Benoit at Armageddon for all the gold? Crazy.

Chavo and Vickie Guerrero stroll up and interject themselves into the discussion.

Chavo Guerrero: Yeah. Crazy, for sure.

Jeff: What's up, Chavo?

Chavo: Well, I just can't help but think that if justice had been done last night at Survivor Series, it would be me walking into Armageddon with the US Championship. It's supposed to be Jeff Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero for the Unified Intercontinental and United States Championships on New Year's Eve.

Matt: You sure about that, Chavo? I saw Chris Benoit beat you fair and square in the middle of the ring last night. You tapped out. Remember?

Chavo: I tapped out. I'm man enough to admit that. But I just want to make it clear that my business with Chris Benoit is far from finished. Just ask my business manager.

The Hardys look at Vickie.

Vickie Guerrero: He's right.

Jeff: What's your point?

Chavo: Chris Benoit has picked up right where Rey Mysterio left off. They've both tried to prevent me from assuming my position as the new face of the Guerrero legacy in Sports-Entertainment. Chris Benoit is standing in my way. I'll take him in the ring any way I can get him. And so if I have to become Intercontinental Champion in order to get my hands on him again at Armageddon, that's exactly what I'll do.

Jeff: If you wanted a shot at the Intercontinental Championship, all you had to do was ask.

Vickie: We did.

Chavo: Yup. We did. We went straight to the top, as a matter of fact. I told Mr. McMahon how much I admired him for taking the bull by the horns -- for reasserting control of what is rightfully his: the WWE. Turns out he was pretty enthusiastic about the idea of my challenging you for that Intercontinental Championship -- right here, tonight on RAW.

Jeff: Sounds good to me.

Vickie: Oh, I hope so. Because that match...? It's next!

The Guerreros walk off, quite pleased with themselves, while Matt and Jeff look at each other and raise their eyebrows.


Intercontinental Championship Match

Chavo Guerrero (with Vickie Guerrero) vs. Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy

Chavo goes on the offensive from before the opening bell, unloading on Hardy for a minute before tossing him over the top rope. Vickie looks on with approval as Chavo whips the Intercontinental Champion into the guardrail on the outside. Chavo is clearly willing to do whatever it takes to get another crack at Chris Benoit; the Intercontinental Championship is gravy. Back in the ring, Hardy blocks a suplex attempt and hits a neckbreaker. Hardy continues to sell the effects of the Ladder Match of the previous week as he favors his lower back. Indeed, his back gives out on him when he tries a slam on Chavo. Guerrero plants Jeff with a Brainbuster for a two count. Jeff escapes an attempted Belly to Back and hits Chavo with a Rydeen Bomb. He heads up top, looking for the Swanton. Vickie moves to confront Jeff, who warns her to back off. Chavo gets to his feet and moves to knock Hardy off the top rope, but Jeff takes to the air with a Sunset Flip that leads to the pinfall!

WINNER: Hardy by pinfall.

Chavo does not take the loss well. While Hardy holds up his Intercontinental Championship in the ring, Chavo ejects Lilian Garcia from her chair at ringside and brings it into the ring. Hardy takes a stiff chairshot to the back. Matt Hardy then hits the ring to bail his brother out, but he receives a chairshot of his own right on the skull. This brings Chavo's nemesis Chris Benoit sprinting to the ring. Chavo rushes at Benoit with the chair; Benoit ducks and catches Chavo in three rolling German Suplexes, drawing his rampage to an involuntary close. Benoit then helps Armageddon opponent Jeff and his brother Matt to their feet. Chavo and Vickie make their retreat in the meantime.


Non-Title Match

World Heavyweight Champion King Booker (with Queen Sharmell) vs. The Sandman

Queen Sharmell performs the "All Hail King Booker" refrain, reminding us during her introduction that King Booker is not only the World Heavyweight Champion, but also the Champion of Champions; he vanquished Batista last night and also humbled John Cena, as well. Sharmell's "All Hails" are brought to an end by the start of the entrance music of ECW original The Sandman, which scandalizes the King and Queen. The Sandman enters through the crowd with Kendo Stick in one hand and beers in the other. Booker and Sharmell are disgusted by the Sandman's binge drinking. Prior to the opening bell, the Sandman waves the Kendo Stick in the King's face; the King promptly registers an objection with referee Jack Doan. The World Champion is eventually forced to begin the match, although he does plenty of stalling in order to avoid an ECW-style brawl with his opponent. A few minutes in, Booker sends the Sandman flying over the top rope with a clothesline. The King pursues Sandman on the outside with the Kendo Stick, but when he swings, Sandman ducks and Booker connects only with the ringpost. Sandman grabs the Kendo Stick and prepares to nail Booker with it. Sharmell, though, grabs the implement. Sandman turns his attention to the Queen, allowing the King to grab him from behind and send him into the ringsteps. Back inside, the Sandman counters a BookEnd with an elbow. He sets up for a White Russian Legsweep but Booker is able to grab the ropes. The champion explodes with a Sidekick and follows up with an Ax Kick. This is enough to send Sandman down for the count. King Booker is declared the winner, and he and his royal wife both react as though he has slain a proverbial dragon. It's a significant victory headed into the Unification Match with WWE Champion John Cena at Armageddon.

WINNER: King Booker by pinfall.


In the Ring

Sharmell replaces the King's crown upon his head. After catching his breath, Booker addresses the crowd.

King Booker: It is truly an historic occasion. 'Tis a day to be remembered for all posterity, for tonight marks our first address to our newly-enlarged realm. No longer is our domain restricted to Smackdown! We now reign over all of the WWE. As Champion of Champions, we declare that a celebration is called for: a true, royal jubilee. Furthermore, we feel is only fitting that the date of the 26th of November live on as a day of perpetual remembrance. Let it be known here and now that--

The King's proclamation is cut off by the opening riff of the entrance music of John Cena. The WWE Champion appears at the entrance carrying his title over his shoulder and wearing a grin on his face. After a moment, he speaks.

John Cena: Well, well, well, Booker. It must be good to be king.

Booker (incensed): We do not recall agreeing to an audience with thee, John Cena.

Cena: It's true, your highness. I ain't got an appointment.

Booker: Your brazen interruption is most egregious.

Cena: Don't get your royal knickers in a twist, excellency. The only reason I'm out here is to let you know just how much I'm looking forward to our little joust at Armageddon. Two champions walk in; one champion walks out.

Booker: You do realize that victory will be mine, ruffian; do you not?

Cena: You're confident. That's a good. Kings're supposed to be.

Booker: You are boring us.

Cena: Oh, my bad. I'll wrap this up. I just want you to know that I can't wait to have my brush with greatness on New Year's Eve. And another thing. What happened last night? When you cost me my Survivor Series match to prove that you really are champion of champions? Don't worry about it. Because the thing is, I'm a laid back kinda guy. I don't get mad, King Booker. I just get even.

Booker and Sharmell exchange uncomfortable glances.

Booker: Dost thou mean to imply a threat to the person of the king?

Cena: Maybe so, King. Maybe so. And, you know, I could stand here and explain to you in further detail just exactly what I mean to do at Armageddon, but I don't know. Why tell you when I can just go ahead and show you?

Booker and Sharmell look puzzled. Cena, in an instant, charges to the ring. Sharmell escapes to the outside but Booker is unable to make it through the ropes in time. Cena whips Booker into the ropes and gives him a backdrop. Booker's crown flies off his head, landing on the mat. Booker charges at Cena and Cena slams him. Booker rolls to the outside and is tended to by the Queen. They look on in stunned horror as Cena stands at mid-ring, holding not only his WWE Championship but also picking up the King's crown and placing it on his own head! The royals are horrified by the sight, and JR and Lawler wonder if this is a harbinger of things to come on 12/31 on PPV! On that night, John Cena looks to become the first ever WWE World Champion headed into his New Year's Day match with K-Fed.


King Booker gained overness.


In their locker room, the Spirit Squad appears dejected coming off their loss at Survivor Series to Ric Flair and his team of legends. Kenny once again steps up in his leadership role.

Kenny: All right, guys; listen up. There's no denying that losing to Ric Flair and his brigade of washed up has-beens last night wasn't exactly a shining moment for the Spirit Squad.

Mikey: Shining moment? It was a disaster!

Mitch: An embarrassment!

Nicky: An outrage!

Kenny: I won't disagree with any of that. But, as Captain of the Squad, I feel it's my duty to make sure that we don't let one bad night lead to tension among us. Mikey, Mitch, Nicky: I want us all to come together and make sure that Johnny knows that we don't blame him for our defeat at Survivor Series.

Johnny: Me? Who thinks I'm to blame?!

Kenny: Nobody! That's what I'm trying to say, man. What happened with Arn Anderson at the end of the match happened. It's ancient history. As far as I'm concerned, it's forgotten.

Johnny: Forgotten?

Kenny: Completely

Johnny: Have you also managed to forget that it was you who took the final elimination in that match? That Ric Flair won that match because he was able to pin you?

Kenny: We're moving forward, guys. No regrets, no finger-pointing. All is forgiven, Johnny. Isn't it, guys?

Mikey, Mitch, and Nicky all speak up in agreement with Kenny, but this appears to be of little comfort to Johnny...


Eight-Man Tag Team Match

Finlay & Mike Knox & Hardcore Holly & Umaga (with Armando Alejandro Estrada) vs. Sabu & CM Punk & Bobby Lashley & Rob Van Dam

The heels make separate entrances first, with Ross and Lawler stressing the fact that it was Umaga who eliminated WWE Champion John Cena in their Survivor Series match last night, therefore winning the match for Team Big Show. Knox enters without Kelly Kelly, likely a result of the recent strain on their relationship. The key question is whether the babyface team will be able to work together tonight knowing that it will be every man for himself in the Extreme Elimination Chamber in six days. Test takes Mr. McMahon up on his offer to join JR and Lawler for commentary during the match. Meanwhile, Big Show and Paul Heyman keep an eye on the proceedings via a monitor in the back. This is nothing less than a chaotic brawl with referee Mickey Henson facing an uphill struggle in his attempts to maintain some semblance of order. Knox targets Punk in particular. Lashley and Umaga duke it out; Umaga eliminated an otherwise impressive Lashley in last night's Survivor Series match. The war between Hardcore Holly and Rob Van Dam continues. They battle on the outside at one point, with RVD rocking Holly with a leg lariat up against the ringside barrier. Back in the ring, Lashley is double-teamed by Umaga and longtime foe Finlay. Umaga crashes over the top rope after Lashley ducks a flying body attack, leaving Finlay and Lashley to duke it out. Lashley is able to lift Finlay up for his running powerslam, but Little Bastard then crawls out from under the ring and grabs the ankles of Lashley. While Lashley is distracted trying to fend off Finlay and his rabid sidekick, Test slips into the ring with Finlay's sheleighly and blasts Lashley on the back of his head with it. Finlay goes to make the cover but Punk breaks up the pin attempt. Test registers his frustration at ringside and then walks right into an RVD chairshot. In the meantime, Kelly Kelly has appeared at the entrance, biting her nails as she follows the action. Punk's save brings a smile to her face. Knox notices at ringside and is sickened. The clustermess of a match culminates minutes later when Sabu is able to hit Hardcore Holly with a nasty Arabian Face Buster. While Sabu wastes time pointing to the sky in the aftermath of the successful maneuver, RVD (who is limping badly) takes to the air with a Five Star Frogsplash that connects with Holly. Referee Henson, clueless as to who the legal men in the match might be, throws up his hands and counts the three in Van Dam's favor. After the dust settles Sabu, Punk, Lashley, and Van Dam are able to assemble in the ring and raise each other's hands, but the tentative expressions on the extremists' faces convey that they know full well that there will be no such thing as alliances when they step into the Extreme Elimination Chamber on Sunday night. Backstage, Show clutches his Extreme World Title tightly while Heyman looks on.

WINNERS: RVD & Sabu & Punk & Lashley by pinfall.



Theodore Long is chatting with some of his former Smackdown! talents such as Scotty 2 Hotty, Vito, and Layla when Eric Bischoff saunters up.

Eric Bischoff: Theodore! Tough break about the gig.

Theodore Long: What are you doing here, Bischoff?

Eric: Oh, Mr. McMahon was thoughtful enough to invite me here tonight as a spectator. He promised tonight would be book, and boy; did he deliver!

Theodore: Look, playa; let's stop playing games. I know you couldn't be more thrilled about the fact that I'm no longer a GM here in the WWE.

Eric: I never said that, Teddy! We may have had our differences in the past, but it gives me no pleasure to see you out of a job. Really.

Theodore: Oh, really? Because I've got to tell you that, personally, my favorite edition of RAW ever was the one that saw you end up in the back of a garbage truck after being fired for incompetence. That was a long time coming, Eric.

Eric: Look, Long. I've tried taking the high road, here, but you're making that close to impossible. My firing was a misunderstanding. I did good work for Vince McMahon. I-- I created controversy. I created cash. Because that's what I do best.

Theodore: You haven't created anybody any cash for a long time, playa. Everybody knows that.

Eric: I am so sick and tired of all of the revisionist history around here. Eric Bischoff is a Sports-Entertainment genius. And I've just about had it with nobodies like you tarnishing my legacy.

Theodore: If you're so upset about your "legacy," then why don't you do something about it, Bischoff?

Eric: Maybe I will. Maybe I will. And when I do, I can guarantee you -- all of you -- that you'll end up eating crow.

An intense Bischoff walks off while Long shakes his head.


Theodore Long gained overness.

In the Ring: Carlito's Cabana

As host Carlito makes his way down to the ring, Ross and Lawler hype Friday's Smackdown!: will Batista resurface? Plus, Lita makes her final appearance following her Retirement Match at Survivor Series. And with Sunday's December to Dismember rapidly approaching with only one match announced, how will the card fill out? We should get some answers on Friday night. Carlito enters the ring, set up for the Cabana, and begins his interview segment.

Carlito: At Survivor Series last night, Mr. Kennedy beat The Undertaker. Mr. Kennedy beat The Undertaker in a First Blood Match. No, seriously; he did. You know, Survivor Series is a big deal for The Undertaker. It's where he made his debut. It's where he won his first WWE Championship. I mean, Undertaker beat Yokozuna in a Casket Match at Survivor Series. But last night he walked out a loser. He walked out a loser thanks to one man and one man only: his own brother, Kane; The Big Red Monster; whatever you wanna call him. Everybody knows that they had their problems in the past: Inferno matches, burning caskets, you name it. But they're the Brothers of Destruction, man! The most dominant tag team in Sports-Entertainment history. The most lethal brothers in the history of the WWE. Kane stabbed The Undertaker in the back last night, and everybody wants to know why. Carlito is here to get some answers, and so, Kane? I'm calling you out. Tell us why you did it. Why, Kane? Why?

Carlito looks to the entrance, awaiting Kane's response. But it is not Kane who makes his way to the ring but rather a raucous Mr. Kennedy. Carlito watches with annoyance while Kennedy enters the ring. Kennedy's microphone is lowered from the ceiling.

Mr. Kennedy: The regularly scheduled guest couldn't make it to Carlito's Cabana tonight, and so instead, viewers of RAW are receiving a rare treat, instead. They're getting... Misterrrrr Kennedy. (Pause). Kennedy!

As the house lighting returns to normal, Kennedy beams in the middle of the ring. Carlito addresses Kennedy.

Carlito: Has anyone ever told you that that... is not cool?

Kennedy: This, coming from a man who walks around with a Chia pet on top of his head? This, coming from a man who has never and will never even come close to the greatness of Mr. Kennedy? Carlito, as far as I'm concerned, all you need do from here on out on this Cabana is stand back and, like all of these people, listen to what I have to say. What I have to say is this: I told you so. I did. For weeks, I came out on Smackdown! and I vowed to spill the blood of the Undertaker. I claimed that Smackdown! -- that WWE -- is now my yard, and that the Undertaker had no place in it. And so what did I go and do? I went and annihilated the Undertaker, and I did it at Survivor Series. I shocked the world. Hell, I immortalized myself last night. Mr. Kennedy has arrived, and he's not going anywhere!

Carlito: Wait, wait, wait. You're forgetting one thing, Kennedy; you're forgetting Kane.

Kennedy: What does Kane have to do with any of this? And just why are you so determined to change the subject?

Carlito: I know just as well as all of these people do that the only reason you beat The Undertaker last night was Kane. You couldn't get the job done any other way.

Kennedy: Who the hell are you to doubt Mr. Kennedy? Who the hell are you to--

The chilling music of Kane cuts in and the arena lighting goes red. Kane steps out onto the entrance ramp, drawing universal boos. Carlito and Kennedy watch as he methodically steps down the ramp. The "immortal" Kennedy high-tails it out of the ring, while Carlito stands his ground. Kane does the ringpost pyro bit once he reaches the ring. Carlito then faces him.

Carlito: Are you here to explain yourself, Kane? Why'd you do it?

Carlito hands Kane a microphone. Kane takes a long pause. He looks out at the crowd, clearly caring little about their disapproval. Finally, he speaks.

Kane: Why? Why did I do it? (Laughs). I did it because I had to. I did it because I had no choice.

Carlito: You're... you're going to have to do better than that, Kane.

Kane: Better than that?

Carlito: That's right.

Kane: I can do better than that.

Kane suddenly grabs Carlito by the throat. Carlito is stunned but tries battling out of the chokehold. He is finally able to escape after a kick to the gut, but Kane then hits a Big Boot. He picks Carlito up and drops him with a Chokeslam. He then tosses him through a piece of the Cabana set in the corner of the ring. Kane summons the ringpost pyro a second time and poses demonically at the center of the ring. The show draws to an abrupt close as JR and Lawler are left to wonder just what Kane's remarks are supposed to mean! A wild night on RAW concludes.


Kane lost overness.

Overall Rating: 78%

Television Rating: 6.04


We can now confirm that Rob Van Dam's shaky finish to last night's 8-man tag was not worked but rather legitimate. Van Dam was taken to a Pittsburgh hospital following RAW last night and was informed that he did, indeed, tear his ACL. Early estimates are that he'll be out for 8-10 months of action. Van Dam will not be able to compete at Sunday's pay-per-view; his expected absence will likely be addressed on Friday's Smackdown!

The injury has to be considered a major blow to both Van Dam and December to Dismember. Van Dam just returned from a yearlong hiatus due to a knee injury this past January and is now again unable to compete until mid-summer 2007 at the earliest. Meanwhile, Van Dam's hunt for the ECW/Exteme World Championship was one of the few selling points December to Dismember had going for it just days before the event. There is no word yet on how WWE will attempt to compensate for Van Dam's absence from the now-extremely-weak card.

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Last 2 replies are technically postwhoring and I could throw out some warnings to those 2 folk, but instead I'll say this. Put a little more into your posts or you will be warned after this. Why are you "hooked after one show" Reno? What was "pretty cool" Undertaker? I'm sure tqwcw would sure like to know. Unless you are just friends of his upping his views and such.

No more vague postwhoring. Ok kids? ;)

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Guest wrestling_assassinator

i like this diary, i like the storylines so far, this has potential to evolve into a big time diary here, if you stick it out :) cant wait for smackdown and i am interested in how you're goin to handle it. god luck u got a fan :)

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I think I've seen some of your other work but have yet to reply, mostly because it was well underway when I got started. Simply put, this diary is amazing and it is only one show in. Okay, there are some easy drawbacks, but it is still awesome. First off, the format rules. The maroon-red colour that you use is perfect. Onto the actual show now, Mr. McMahon's promo sounded to a tee to me. The only suggestion I could make is to break it up a little. I'm intrigued by next week's contest for the Tag Team championships. On one hand, it would make London & Kendrick, but on the other it would break Edge and Orton (if losing cleanly). I see Edge and Orton dropping the belts due to DX interference. The DX segment was well written too. You had me laughing with the King Booker / John Cena segment. Booker is one of the best guys in WWE right now, IMO. Typical WWE main event, but I have to ask why did Carlito's Cabana close out the show?

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I have to admit, I loved the first show. McMahon was beautifully written and felt real. My only gripe is that it ended with Carlito's Cabana and the ex-GM angle. It felt like you were ending in the middle of the show and that there should be more, but there wasn't. I woulda thought the Booker/Sandman match would have gone for main event with the Cena angle afterwards, but with you putting the Cabana last, I'm thinking there is either a Kane or a Carlito push in store. I'll be keeping an eye on this.

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WWE Friday Night Smackdown!

December 1 2006

Buffalo, NY -- HSBC Arena

Attendance: 9045

Announcers: Michael Cole & John "Bradshaw" Layfield


Smackdown! kicks off with a cold open as there is commotion in the back: Rob Van Dam is down and being attended to by agents and medics while a number of Superstars -- including fellow Extreme Elimination Chamber entrants Bobby Lashley, CM Punk, and Sabu -- look on. Extreme World Champion The Big Show, Test, and Paul Heyman then "stumble upon the scene."

Paul Heyman: Oh, my! What on earth has happened here?

Big Show: Good heavens! That's Rob Van Dam, isn't it?

Test: Has-- has he been attacked? This is an outrage!

Heyman directs his gaze toward the suspicious Lashley, Punk, and Sabu.

Heyman: It was one of you who did this, wasn't it? Someone wanted Rob Van Dam out of this Sunday's Extreme Elimination Chamber match!

CM Punk: Yeah. Gee. I wonder who that could be.

Heyman: How dare you point a finger in our direction? I wouldn't be surprised if it was you who ambushed Rob Van Dam. All of this "Straight Edge" business? It's all a sham, isn't it?

Bobby Lashley: Who do you think you're fooling, Heyman?

Heyman: You had just as much motive as anyone, Lashley. And what about the suicidal, homicidal, genocidal Sabu? I know firsthand how complex your history with Rob Van Dam is. And I seem to recall that RVD unashamedly stole your thunder Monday night on RAW. You had that 8-man tag team match won when Van Dam decided to pick up the winning pinfall for himself.

Josh Matthews walks up to cover the story.

Josh Matthews: Fans, welcome to Friday Night Smackdown!, and as you can tell, we've got a bit of a situation on our hands backstage at the HSBC Arena in Buffalo. Rob Van Dam is down, he's suffered what appears to be a significant injury, and thus far, no witnesses to the attack have surfaced. Paul Heyman, this puts somewhat of a new spin on Sunday's Extreme Elimination Chamber match at December to Dismember.

Heyman: Of course it does, Josh. There is once again a vacant spot in the match.

Big Show: And we all know who should receive that spot. Rob Van Dam's slot in the chamber should go to the next man in line: Hardcore Holly.

Test: No doubt.

Matthews: Of course, these kinds of matters are now out of your hands, Mr. Heyman; Vince McMahon has once again assumed total control of WWE.

Heyman: That may be so, Josh, but I'm quite confident that Mr. McMahon will make the right choice about the newly open spot in the Extreme Elimination Chamber. And, what's more: it's a moot point, because there is only one possible outcome to December to Dismember on Sunday night: my long-term investment the Big Show is walking out of Augusta, Georgia just as he'll be heading into it: the Extreme World Champion.

Test, Lashley, Sabu, and Punk look on. Meanwhile, RVD is stretchered out. What does this mean for Sunday night?


Singles Match

Super Crazy vs. Daivari (with The Great Khali)

As usual, Daivari handles his and Khali's introduction himself, in Persian. As the bell signifies the start of this Cruiserweight contest, Super Crazy tries to focus on his opponent rather than the gigantic figure at ringside. Crazy out-quicks Daivari early on, dizzying him with a headscissors and then hitting him first with a dropkick and then a flying crossbody for a two count. Daivari soon surprises Crazy with a Japanese armdrag, though; he executes a legdrop from the second rope for a nearfall. Super Crazy mounts a comeback after nailing a Tilt-a-Whirl backbreaker. This prompts Khali to climb up onto the ring apron. The luchadore throws a dropkick in the giant's direction, but Khali swats off the attempt. Super Crazy pulls himself back to his feet, but Daivari grabs him from behind and drills him with the Hammerlock DDT for the win.

WINNER: Daivari by pinfall.

After the finish, Khali enters the ring and finishes Crazy off by picking him up and dropping him with his signature Double Choke Drop. Referee Charles Robinson's attempts to convince Khali to relent are completely fruitless. Finally, Tommy Dreamer rushes the ring to aid his former ECW colleague Super Crazy; Dreamer has, of course, had problems of late with Daivari and Khali. Dreamer, brave and perhaps a little foolish, stands nose to chest with Khali in the middle of the ring. Khali prepares to dispose with Dreamer, but Daivari stops Khali. Daivari utters a few phrases in Persian on the mic, and then translates into English; he challenges Dreamer to an Extreme Rules Match on Sunday night at December to Dismember! As Dreamer tends to Super Crazy, he nods his head to signal to Daivari his acceptance of the challenge! JBL predicts that Dreamer will live to regret the decision.



William Regal and Dave Taylor are discussing strategy over tea backstage.

William Regal: It's quite simple, really: you and I will be the first in line for a shot at the new WWE World Tag Team Champions after next week's RAW, whether they are Brian Kendrick and Paul London or Rated RKO. And then we'll see who the butt of jokes around this bloody place is.

Taylor seems to agree. King Booker then walks up along with his Queen. Regal flares his nostrils.

Regal: You.

King Booker: Yes, it is I, William, and I've come to offer an armistice; a suspension of hostilities.

Regal: You need my help, don't you?

Booker: We need nothing! We come simply to proffer an opportunity. The opportunity of a lifetime.

Regal: Now, look here. I was quite serious when I vowed never to be the laughing stock of WWE ever again. I am no man's court jester!

Booker: I quite agree, my good man. You deserve to be taken seriously, and in my eternal wisdom, I feel that I have devised a surefire way to attain what it is that you seek.

Regal: Well, go on.

Booker: You are a superior grappler. I daresay you could out-wrestle any number of the peons in these wretched locker rooms. But why aim for anything but the top? Why aim for any man other than the WWE Champion, Jonathan Cena?

Regal: You're suggesting I wrestle John Cena?

Booker: I suggest you do so at once.

Regal: And why is it that I should focus on the WWE Champion rather than the World Heavyweight Champion, my King?

Booker: Hast thou forgotten, dear William, that We are not simply the World Heavyweight Champion, but the Champion of Champions? Defeat Cena first, my good man, and then ye shall find yourself in a far better position to challenge us. Shall ye or shant ye heed my advice?

Regal mulls his options, glancing at Taylor and then back at the royal couple.

Regal: Perhaps you're right, King Booker. Perhaps a victory over John Cena will be just the thing.

Booker's face lights up.

Booker: Ah! Then let the record show that on this day, William Regal has laid down an open challenge to Jonathan Cena for a match on this very Smackdown! battlefield. The better man will prevail, William. I know it!


King Booker and William Regal gained overness.


Road agent Michael Hayes finds Jamie Noble wearing a scowl in catering.

Michael Hayes: Jamie. I hear you're a little upset about your match tonight.

Jamie Noble: No kiddin', I'm a little upset! Is this somebody's idea of a joke, or somethin'? Teamin' me up with Jimmy Wang Yang?

Hayes: You heard what Mr. McMahon said on RAW: he's shaking things up. Management thinks you and Jimmy might just be a good match. I mean, you're both southern boys. You've both got that quick, Cruiserweight style. You never know, Jamie. The two of you might end up taking off.

Noble: And what if I refused to do this match tonight? I ain't got the first thing in common with this Jimmy Wang Yang.

Hayes: Kid, you're not really in much of a position to refuse.

Jimmy Wang Yang walks up with Amy on his arm. He flashes his smile at Noble and extends his hand.

Jimmy Wang Yang: I'm Jimmy Wang Yang -- and I'm yer boy!

Noble testily swats Yang's hand away and walks off, throwing up his arms. Whether he likes it or not, their tag team debut is next!


Tag Team Match

Jamie Noble & Jimmy Wang Yang (with Amy) vs. Kenny & Johnny (with The Spirit Squad)

Yang and his reluctant partner enter, followed by the Squad, who appear to be back on the same page coming off of their recent problems. Noble starts off the match against Kenny, who enjoys a size advantage. In an odd twist, Eric Bischoff is seen seated in the front row, taking notes on the match without explanation. Back in the ring, Kenny and Johnny make quick tags and wear down the former Cruiserweight champion. Noble has more than one opportunity, though, to make an effort to tag in the fresh man. Whether out of pride or stubbornness, Noble refuses to do so and suffers a number of near-falls. Finally, Noble slips out of an attempted vertical suplex by Kenny. Noble takes the bigger man down with a neckbreaker. Johnny enters the ring but receives a leg lariat for his troubles. Out of breath, Noble finally makes the tag to Yang! Yang clears the ring of the Squad members and hypes up the crowd. Mikey, Mitch, and Nicky offer comfort to Kenny and Johnny on the outside. Finally, Kenny and Johnny return to the ring and Kenny makes the tag to Johnny. Yang weakens Johnny with a series of rapidfire kicks. Johnny tries to maintain his balance in the middle of the ring, but Yang hits an Asai Moonsault off the ropes and picks up a two count. Johnny knows he needs to make the tag and crawls over to his corner. Kenny reaches out his arm for the tag, but as Johnny grows closer, Kenny slowly begins to pull back his hand! Kenny backs down the ringsteps, and Johnny is stunned and confused. Kenny directs a look of disgust toward Johnny. Kenny backs up the ramp with Mikey, Nicky, and Mitch, who all seem to have known that this was the plan all along! Johnny goes from being bewildered to furious. He pulls himself to a standing position and yells at his retreating teammates for an explanation. When he turns around, though, a fresh Noble is waiting. Noble kicks Johnny in the midsection and hits a Tiger Driver. It's over!

WINNERS: Noble & Yang by pinfall.

Post-match, Yang and Amy try getting Noble to join them in their celebration, but he remains less than thrilled to have been assigned Yang as a new partner. Johnny is unconscious in the ring while Kenny and the others watch with satisfaction from the entrance.



Matt Striker is seated in his "classroom."

Matt Striker: Ever since being blacklisted by the corrupt New York City public school system, I've had a bit of extra time on my hands. Being as civic-minded as I am, it's become my custom to provide my services pro bono. For those wondering, "pro bono" is a Latin term. Consult a dictionary. Tonight, I offer my services to The Sandman. I'm going to educate The Sandman, just because I'm a nice guy. Monday night on RAW, the King of WWE -- the Champion of Champions, King Booker -- bested you in short order, Sandman. He proved that you are a reprobate just as your drunken, unsavory conduct suggests. Today's lesson is on the inference, Sandman. An inference is a conclusion reached on the basis of evidence and reasoning. What I can "infer" from your shameful performance on Monday night is that you are nothing more than white trash, and certainly not fit to be a part of the new, Dawinian WWE to which Mr. McMahon alluded on Monday night. Of course, in your case, a hands-on explanation would likely be of more value than a cogent explication. Therefore, I intend to illustrate my point in the ring on Sunday night at December to Dismember. Sandman? The time has come for you to be expelled.


Matt Striker gained overness.

Backstage with Steve Romero

Romero is on the interview set with Gregory Helms.

Steve Romero: Ladies and gentlemen, the Cruiserweight Champion of the World, Gregory Helms.

Gregory Helms (disgusted): What did you just say?

Romero: I-- I said you're the Cruiserweight Champion of the World.

Helms: I'm a helluva lot more than that, Steve Romero, and you know it. I am the longest reigning champion in Sports-Entertainment.

Romero: Yes, you are. It was an oversight on my part not to have mentioned it.

Helms: Apology accepted. You know, Romero, the sad fact is that I have run through all of the competition WWE has to offer. That makes me undisputably the greatest Cruiserweight in the world today.

Before Romero has to respond, Matt Hardy walks up, unnerving Helms.

Helms: Oh, look. It's Matt Hardy, and he's come to steal my spotlight -- again.

Matt Hardy: I don't want to steal your spotlight, Greg. I just want to talk.

Helms: You and me? We got nothin' to talk about.

Hardy: You don't think we've got unfinished business?

Helms: Nothing's changed, Hardy. It's the same old story. After all these years, I'm still quicker than you, still more innovative than you, and still better looking than you. You were jealous of me when we were comin' up in North Carolina together, and you're jealous of me now.

Hardy: So, you're saying it's a fluke that I eliminated you in our Classic Survivor Series match last Sunday, is that it?

Helms: That's exactly what I'm sayin'.

Hardy: Hm. Maybe it's true. Maybe you are the greatest Cruiserweight on Earth. Then again, maybe you're not.

Helms: Do you have something to say to me, or not?

Hardy: Thing is, Greg: I'm back in shape. I'm back under the Cruiserweight limit, which means I qualify to challenge for the belt that's been around your waist since the Royal Rumble.

Helms (smirking): What makes you think you're any different from every other man I've humiliated out there in that ring during my illustrious reign?

Hardy: I've beaten you before, buddy, and I plan to do it again. Only this time, the Cruiserweight Championship'll be on the line.

Helms: Matt Hardy, Cruiserweight Champion? Ain't gonna happen.

Hardy: If you're so sure of that, why don't you come to December to Dismember on Sunday night and put the title on the line? Prove me wrong.

Helms, clearly torn, huffs and puffs for a moment.

Romero: What do you say, Helms?

Helms: I say-- I say-- I say I am gonna end this once and for all, on Sunday night! Get a good look at this title, Hardy, because it's as close as you're ever gonna get to it again!

Helms storms off, leaving Hardy satisfied.


Singles Match

Balls Mahoney vs. Shelton Benjamin

The reintegration of the brands continues as former Extremist Balls Mahoney takes on Shelton Benjamin, formerly of RAW. Benjamin is able to outwrestle brawler Balls early on. Eric Bischoff can again be seen scouting the match and taking notes from his front row seat. Benjamin keeps Balls grounded and tries forcing him to submit to a Half Crab. Balls rallies with the support of the crowd. He hulks up and, to Shelton's horror, is able to pull off the "Balls! Balls! Balls!" series of punches, knocking Shelton off his feet with the final wind-up blow. Shelton kicks out at two, though. Balls attempts a Belly to Back suplex but Shelton blocks it and whips Balls into the far corner. Shelton charges in with the Stinger Splash but Balls moves out of the way. Shelton tumbles face first onto the mat. Before Balls is able to capitalize, freaky Ariel slithers down to ringside and exposes her fangs to Balls. Michael Cole notes that Balls has a history with Ariel and Kevin Thorn on "ECW on Sci-Fi." Balls instructs Ariel to get lost. In the meantime, Shelton recovers and is able to hit an unsuspecting Mahoney with a T-Bone Suplex for the win!

WINNER: Benjamin by pinfall.

Benjamin rolls out of the ring after having his hand raised. Ariel cackles at Balls. Balls looks to the crowd for approval and proceeds to chase Ariel toward the back. Just after Ariel disappears behind the curtain, Kevin Thorn emerges. Thorn jabs Balls with his cane and then hits him with the Crucifix, laying him out on the ramp. Thorn poses maniacally over the fallen Balls, and we're left to wonder why Thorn has chosen to renew his vendetta against Mahoney and what is behind it in the first place.


In the Ring: The Cutting Edge

After the break, Rated RKO music brings Edge and Randy Orton down to the ring for a special edition of The Cutting Edge dedicated to the retiring Lita. After the World Tag Team Champions enter the ring, Orton speaks.

Randy Orton: First of all, I'd like to remind everyone that Monday night on RAW, Randy Orton and Edge come one step closer to complete and total domination of this industry by becoming the first ever WWE World Tag Team Champions. And the best part is, Degeneration X will be there to bear witness to the whole thing.

Edge: And there is nothing anyone can do about it. But the Cutting Edge is coming to you tonight for another reason: to give you people the chance to redeem yourselves by showing some respect to Lita once and for all. This is a woman who has put her body on the line for years for your benefit. I happen to know exactly what that's like. She's sacrificed and bled, and you've rewarded her by taunting her and booing her and taking her for granted. And now she's walking away, and I say, more power to her. So, without further ado, I introduce to you a -- by God, a future WWE Hall of Famer: Lita!

Lita makes her way to the ring. Edge and Orton applaud her as she steps onto the Cutting Edge set. The crowd directs its usual chants toward her. Lita shakes her head.

Lita: Go on. Go on. You all can call me anything you like, because after tonight, I'll never have to put up with it again. How quickly they forget. You've all forgotten my broken neck. You've all forgotten what havoc this business has wreaked on my personal life for the past eight years. None of you give a damn. But that's okay. I don't mind. Because I'm finished. I'm done.

Edge: That's right, baby. Don't you let them get to you. You're going out on top. You're the greatest--

Edge's statement is interrupted by the sound of Mickie James's music. James heads down to the ring with her Women's Championship. The Rated RKO contingent frowns as Mickie steps through the ropes.

Edge: Who invited you, honey? What gives?

Mickie James: I'm not here to cause any trouble. I swear. I actually came down here to tell you something, Lita. I want you to know that even though we've had our differences lately, I respect you. You put me through hell over the past few weeks on RAW, but I haven't lost sight of the fact that just like Trish Stratus, you revolutionized this business for women. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for you, and I wanted you to know that. You deserve a healthy, happy retirement.

Lita isn't sure what to make of the comments. Edge then speaks.

Edge: Retirement. Right. This is the end of the line for you, Lita. It's the end of an era.

Edge moves toward Lita and embraces her. Once they've finished the hug, Edge speaks again as Lita grows emotional.

Edge: But, you know, maybe it's for the best. You see, every diva's got a shelf life, Lita, and let's face it: yours is up. It's time for you to move on. It's time for me to move on. I'm due for a trade in. I'm due for an upgrade.

Orton nods at Edge in agreement. Lita is hurt by these remarks and looks to Edge for an explanation.

Edge: What? You need me to spell it out for you?

Lita is dismayed. Suddenly, Mickie hits Lita with a shot from behind. Lita is stunned by the blow. She turns around to face Mickie and takes a Women's Title belt shot to the face. Lita is out cold. Mickie kicks Lita to the outside of the ring, humiliating her during what was supposed to have been her sendoff into retirement. Mickie turns to Edge, who smiles at her. It seems that Mickie is what Edge had in mind when he spoke of an "upgrade." The despicable new pair share a sloppy kiss in the center of the ring as Orton looks on with approval. Can the Rated R Superstar sink any lower?! Edge, Mickie, and Orton leave proudly with their respective championships. Medics and officials tend to the discarded Lita.


Edge lost overness. Mickie Jamies gained overness.

Backstage with Josh Matthews

Back at the interview set, Matthews is joined by a somewhat solemn Torrie.

Josh Matthews: Torrie Wilson, it's a well-known fact that your relationship with Carlito has been growing more serious in recent weeks, and I'm wondering if you might be able to provide a bit of insight into his condition on the heels of a beating at the hands of the Big Red Monster Kane at the conclusion of RAW just days ago.

Torrie Wilson: Well, Josh, Kane did some serious damage to--

Mr. Kennedy walks right onto the set, causing Torrie to stop mid-sentence.

Matthews: Ken, we, uh-- we're conducting an interview, here.

Mr. Kennedy: That's Mr. Kennedy, to you. And, you know, I find it hard to believe that of all the things to focus on coming out of Carlito's Cabana on RAW, you're focusing on Carlito's condition. I don't give a rat's ass about Carlito's condition, and neither do the people! Let's keep our eyes on the ball, here, Josh. Mr. Kennedy is the fastest-rising star in World Wrestling Entertainment. Survivor Series 2006 will go down as the year that I unseated The Undertaker as the Phenom. I realized my destiny last Sunday night. I shot right to the top of the food chain. That's the really story, here -- not Carlito's injury, not Kane and The Undertaker's little family feud. It's me! Now, if you can remember all of that, Torrie, I suggest you run back to your Caribean chump of a boyfriend and deliver the message. Got it? Good!


Non-Title Match

William Regal (with Dave Taylor) vs. WWE Champion John Cena

Before the match gets underway, we see King Booker and Queen Sharmell settling into a royal banquet backstage as they prepare to watch the proceedings. Cole and JBL recap the situation involving Batista from the Survivor Series and again question The Animal's whereabouts. The announcers also confirm that a number of matches have been added to Sunday's December to Dismember. That said, WWE management have yet to render a decision regarding the vacancy of what was to have been Rob Van Dam's spot in the Extreme Elimination Chamber. Who will walk out of the pay-per-view the Extreme World Champion: Big Show, Bobby Lashley, Test, Sabu, CM Punk -- or a sixth man, entirely unexpected?

Regal is accompanied by his tag team partner for the match. Cena's entrance is energetic as usual, signifying his willingness to take on any challenge King Booker lays in his path. But Regal's new, no-nonsense style kicks in from the get go here as he opens the match with several vicious headbutts right to the skull of the champion. Regal scores an early two count after a double underhook powerbomb. Cena begins to turn the tide after ducking a clothesline and hitting a forearm. Regal fires off a couple of closed-fist punches, though, and rocks Cena against the ropes with a European Uppercut. Cena reverses an Irish Whip, but as Cena bounces off the ropes to hit Regal with a clothesline, Taylor pulls down on the top rope, causing Cena to go tumbling out of the ring onto the floor. Taylor begins laying in kicks to Cena's back. While Regal distracts Nick Patrick, Taylor whips Cena into the ringside barrier and then throws him into the ring. Regal sends Cena down with a knee strike and gets another two count. Regal sets up for a Fireman's Carry slam but Cena ends up reversing that into a FU attempt. Regal wisely grabs the ropes to prevent Cena from carrying out the move. Cena blocks a couple of punches and ducks a clothesline. Cena bounces off the ropes and hits his running shoulder block. Regal gets up but is hit with a series of clotheslines. Cena is on a roll and connects with the Killswitch powerbomb. Cena is about to go for the cover when Taylor enters the ring. Cena quickly tosses Taylor over the top rope. Cena's problems are just beginning, though: Johnny Nitro sprints to the ring with Melina in tow. Cole and JBL remind us of their "close friend" Kevin Federline's scheduled match with Cena on 1/1/07 at RAW. Nitro hops up on the ring apron but is knocked down by Cena. Cena turns his attentions back to Regal. Regal is able to pull Cena into an inside cradle, but Cena kicks out at 2.9! Both men get back to their feet; Cena pulls off a Spinebuster and then the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Regal pulls himself up and tries to find his bearings, but Cena is unstoppable: FU, and it's over!

WINNER: Cena by pinfall.

As Cena's music plays in recognition of his victory, Booker knocks his goblet of wine over in disgust and the Queen follows suit. Cena raises up his WWE Championship, and it is clear that he intends to unify his and the World Heavyweight Championship at Armageddon. Just when it appears that Cena has triumphed, Umaga slides into the ring out of nowhere and crushes Cena's windpipe with the Samoan Spike. Armando Alejandro Estrada watches with glee. The King and Queen react with similar enthusiasm from their VIP room backstage. Cole reminds us that Umaga did knock off Cena at last Sunday's Survivor Series. Our final visual on Smackdown! is of Umaga standing over the fallen WWE Champion who, on this night, had simply too many foes to overcome.


Overall Rating: 74%

Television Rating: 5.58

World Wrestling Entertainment Presents

December to Dismember

3 December 2006

Extreme Elimination Chamber - Extreme World Championship Match

Big Show © (with Paul Heyman) vs. Bobby Lashley vs. CM Punk vs. Sabu vs. Test vs. ???

Cruiserweight Championship Match

Gregory Helms © vs. Matt Hardy

Extreme Rules

Daivari (with The Great Khali) vs. Tommy Dreamer

Balls Mahoney vs. Kevin Thorn (with Ariel)

Matt Striker vs. The Sandman

--A number of sources backstage aren't ruling out the possibility of Bobby Lashley winning the Extreme Elimination Chamber at December to Dismember. Lashley recently inked a new, three-year deal.

--The current target for Rey Mysterio's return is June 2007. Mysterio has agreed to a one year contract extension.

--Jim Ross reports in his blog that both Finlay and Mike "Simon Dean" Bucci have renewed their deals, as well. Ross notes that while Bucci is focusing on his behind-the-scenes duties at this time, he could reprise his on-air role at some point.

--Jerry Lawler has informed management that his Memphis commitments are such that he is no longer in a position to travel in order to do RAW every week and pay-per-views at least once per month. Lawler is expected to remain with WWE under a Legends program deal, but he'll be replaced as Jim Ross's regular broadcast partner beginning in 2007. No word on who the new RAW color man will be, but given the elimination of the brand extension, there is a good chance that the announce teams of RAW, Smackdown!, and Extreme will be reshuffled completely.

--As previously reported, roster cuts aren't expected to begin until the first of the new year. That said, those who know say that a number of talents -- including The Highlanders and Vito -- have expiring contracts that will likely be allowed to lapse.

--Management is high on the new Jimmy Wang Yang/Jamie Noble tag team, although there is talk of dumping diva search runner-up Amy from their act.

--Tracy Taylor, Angel Williams, and Eric Perez -- all of whom are currently assigned to Deep South -- have been given new contracts. Williams was being primed for a callup to Smackdown! last year but those plans have been scrapped. Perez was working ECW house shows before their cancellation last month. Brett and Brian Majors, meanwhile, are being evaluated and may be cut from the developmental program rather than offered extensions. Both brothers' current deals run through early 2007.

Edited by tqwcw
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December 3 2006

Augusta, GA -- James Brown Arena

Attendance: 9028

Announcers: Joey Styles & Tazz

Singles Match

Matt Striker vs. The Sandman

A confident Striker makes his way to the ring to "educate" The Sandman. Sandman, as usual, heads down to the ring from the stands, downing a couple of beers atop the ringside barrier before entering the ring. As soon as Sandman stands in the middle of the ring with his Kendo Stick, Striker decides to bail to the outside and stall. Sandman will have none of this; he chases Striker around the ring. He prevents Striker from escaping into the crowd and proceeds to cane him multiple times across the back. Sandman removes Striker's sweater vest to reveal a number of sick welts resulting from the cane shots. Sandman sends Striker into the ring. Striker tries begging off in the corner. Sandman continues his attack, but Striker knees him in the gut and drops Sandman with a shoulder neckbreaker. Striker delivers a number of nasty facewashes to Sandman in the corner. Striker picks up Sandman's cane and taunts the crowd before swinging at Sandman. Sandman moves to avoid the shot and Striker connects with the turnbuckle only. Sandman hits Striker with a DDT. Sandman sets up for a stuff piledriver and Striker wiggles his way out of it. Sandman blocks a couple of punches. He whips Striker into the ropes and catches him with an unexpected Heinekenrana! Sandman plays to the crowd while Striker again tries crawling to the outside. Sandman, though, grabs Striker by the tights and gives him the White Russian Legsweep, complete with the ais of the kendo stick. It's academic from there: 1-2-3. Sandman wins, having finally shut the pesky Striker up, and our opening bout concludes with a feel-good finish.

WINNER: Sandman by pinfall.



Johnny Nitro and Melina arrive at the arena. Kristal Marshall accosts them.

Kristal: Nitro, Melina. Neither one of you is scheduled to be at December to Dismember. What, exactly, are you doing here?

Johnny Nitro: C'mon, Kristal. Have you taken a look around? This show is just begging for some A-listers.

Melina: And here we are.

Nitro: But there's another, equally serious reason for us to be here tonight: Matt Hardy.

Kristal: What about him?

Nitro: Look at my waist, babe. What seems to be missing?

Kristal: The-- the Intercontinental Championship?

Nitro: The Intercontinental Championship. You see, the Hardy Boyz seem to have a nasty habit of screwing WWE Superstars out of their titles.

Melina: Nitro and Gregory Helms were both part of Team Rated RKO at Survivor Series last week. And the last thing we want to see happen is for another superior talent like Helms to be duped by one of the Hardys.

Nitro: See, Kristal? We're here to ensure that justice is done here tonight. When Matt Hardy challenges Gregory Helms for the Cruiserweight Championship tonight, we'll be watching. Very closely.

Nitro and Melina smile, then scowl at Kristal and leave.


Extreme Rules Match

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari (with The Great Khali)

Dreamer is introduced first, and then the heels enter. Daivari handles his and Khali's intro in the ring, turning his back on Dreamer and launching into a rant in Persian. Dreamer will have none of this and, with the crowd's approval, attacks Daivari from behind. Daivari is rocked by right hands and forearms. Dreamer sets Daivari up and sends him into the air with a back bodydrop. Dreamer quickly takes advantage of the Extreme Rules stipulation, going outside to grab a chair. Khali glares at Dreamer but doesn't yet interject himself into the action. Dreamer sets the chair up in the ring and Daivari receives a drop toehold right onto the folded chair. Daivari sells a jaw injury. Dreamer nails a sitout side slam and attempts a pinfall but Daivari kicks out. Daivari begins to focus on Dreamer's knee, trying to chop the taller man down to size. Daivari dropkicks the knee and then uses the chair on it. Daivari sets Dreamer up in the corner and charges in with the chair, but Dreamer gets a foot up, sending Daivari crashing to the floor. Dreamer is able to lift Daivari onto his shoulders despite the damage to his knee. Tommy looks to be going for a Spicolli Driver, but Khali then steps onto the ring apron. Dreamer drops Daivari and turns his attention to Khali. Khali sends Dreamer down to the mat hard with a chop. Dreamer then receives the double choke drop again, and he's for all intents and purposes out cold. Joey Styles reminds us that Daivari's involvement is perfectly legal given Extreme Rules. Khali helps Daivari to his feet. Daivari directs traffic and Khali sets Dreamer's limp body up on the chair in the center of the ring. Daivari heads to the top rope. He comes off with a modified frog splash, landing atop Dreamer and the chair. This gives him the pinfall and the victory. The formidable Daivari/Khali tandem stand tall in the ring post-match.

WINNER: Daivari by pinfall.


Backstage with Kristal Marshall

Kristal is with Vince McMahon in his office.

Kristal: Mr. McMahon, everyone's taking about it. Everyone wants to know. Who will be replacing Rob Van Dam in the Extreme Elimination Chamber tonight? Who's the sixth man?

Mr. McMahon: Well, Kristal, I realize that there's a lot of debate, a lot of speculation as to who the replacement entrant in the Extreme World Championship match tonight will be. Of course, Paul Heyman and Big Show have argued that Hardcore Holly is rightfully next in line for the spot. That would certainly work in their favor. Or perhaps it's time to bring in another ECW Original. An ECW Original such as... Y2J, Chris Jericho. Or another former ECW World Champion, perhaps, along the lines of Bam Bam Bigelow or Mike Awesome. But then there's the fact WWE is one big, not-so-happy family again to consider: anyone from the Samoan Bulldozer Umaga to The Boogeyman could complete in the Extreme Elimination Chamber tonight!

Kristal: The suspense is killing me! Who is it, Mr. McMahon?

McMahon: Kristal, there is only one thing I'm prepared to reveal about tonight's main event at this time, and that is that it is going to be a bloody, violent, gory fight to the finish. A fight for the Extreme World Championship. A fight for survival!


Cruiserweight Championship Match

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms ©

The bitter rivalry between the childhood friends continues with the gold on the line. Helms opens things up with a brazen slap to the face of Hardy, who returns the favor! Helms charges at Hardy in the corner and gets backdropped out of the ring! Hardy, a house afire, catapults himself over the top and goes crashing onto Helms on the outside. Both men are slow to get up. When they do, Hardy hits the Side Effect right on the concrete! Hardy lifts Helms back to his feet but Helms hits a back elbow. He then whips Hardy hard into the guardrail. Helms hits Hardy with a leg lariat against the barrier and then tosses Hardy back into the ring. Helms with a double knee facebreaker. He whips Hardy into the ropes. Hardy ducks a clothesline and bounces off the ropes with a crossbody block for a two count. Inverted atomic drop by Hardy and then a whip into the corner. Matt nails Helms with a clothesline and then the spirited bulldog for a two count. Hardy stays on top of Helms, slamming him in the center of the ring and then heading up top. Hardy connects with a Moonsault! He only gets a two count. Gutwrench powerbomb by Hardy. Hardy lets Helms get to his feet and then moves in for the Twist of Fate. Helms has the move well-scouted and counters with a desperation belly to back. Back on their feet, Helms kicks Hardy in the gut and hits him with a Facejam for a nearfall. Helms heads up to the top rope now and looks to connect with a crossbody. Hardy moves out of the way and Helms connects with nothing but canvas! Hardy dropkicks Helms into the corner. Hardy then hits ten mounted punches as the crowd counts along. Hardy takes a stunned Helms down with a frankensteiner and goes for the pin. At this point, Johnny Nitro and Melina head to the ring and Styles is quick to point out that their presence is uncalled for. Helms kicks out of the cover. Hardy warns Nitro and Melina to keep their distance. Helms capitalizes with a shoulder to the midsection of Hardy. Helms goes for the Shining Wizard but Hardy catches the boot. Hardy catapults Helms face-first onto the turnbuckle. Nitro moves to inject himself into the action, but that brings Jeff Hardy running in from the back as an equalizer! Jeff and Nitro end up battling to the back. Meanwhile, Hardy plants Helms with a Swinging Neckbreaker. He goes up top and connects with a big splash! Alas, Helms gets his foot on the bottom rope before a three count can be made. Helms takes a couple of right hands. Hardy again tries putting the champion away with the leg drop from the second rope, but Helms moves to avoid the maneuver. Helms comes out of nowhere with the Nightmare on Helms street. He then goes into a pinning combination using the tights for leverage and retains the Cruiserweight Championship!

WINNER: Gregory Helms by pinfall.

Helms quickly rolls to the outside, clutching his title belt. Hardy, having been screwed again, glares at Helms, signalling that their business still has yet to be finished!


Cruiserweight Title gained image.

In the Ring

Josh Matthews is standing by.

Josh Matthews: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... Kelly Kelly!

The gregarious Kelly Kelly makes her way to the ring, smiling and waving to the fans. She enters the ring and Matthews addresses her.

Matthews: Kelly Kelly, you requested this interview time tonight, and I've got to wonder, what gives?

Kelly Kelly: Oh, Josh. You know me. And you know that I? Am an exhibitionist. I'm also a lot like CM Punk -- my one addiction is competition. And so I came to December to Dismember to issue a challenge to any of the divas in the back: an open challenge for a Hot Bodies Contest, right here and right now!

The crowd does not object to his proposal.

Matthews: Well, I guess that's pretty straight forward. Who's going to accept the challenge?

Matthews and Kelly look toward the entrance. To their surprise, Mike Knox's TitanTron video begins to play and he heads to the ring, not looking pleased. Styles reminds us of the recent strain on Knox and Kelly's relationship. Kelly looks exasperated as Knox steps into the ring.

Matthews: Mike Knox, I don't think you were quite what Kelly Kelly or the fans had in mind...

Mike Knox: You can take a hike, Josh Matthews. And as far as this "Hot Bodies Contest" goes, you can forget it. Kelly Kelly is my girlfriend, and she's exposed herself publicly for the last time. I'm through trying to be patient. You can all go to hell; each and every one of you!

Kelly Kelly looks at Knox with disappointment. She seems to put up a resistence to his demands that they return backstage. Tired of playing games, Knox tosses Kelly Kelly over his shoulder and leaves the ring with her. He carries her toward the back and she continues to resist.

When Knox is halfway up the ramp, CM Punk appears at the entrance! The crowd pops as Punk heads down to the middle of the aisle and goes face-to-face with Knox. Punk appears to be trying to convince Knox to put Kelly down. Knox yells that this is none of Punk's business. Punk folds his arms, signalling that he's not walking away from this. Knox puts Kelly aside and, at the end of his rope, takes a swing at Punk. Punk moves and Knox clumsily trips on his own feet and lands on the floor. He stands up and is met by a stiff sidekick from Punk! Knox has been knocked out cold. Kelly Kelly looks on with glee. She hugs the ever-so-humble Punk, who of course has no choice but to return the embrace. Kelly Kelly gives Punk a "thank you" kiss and watches adoringly as he heads to the back. Kelly Kelly then looks down at the pathetic, fallen Knox and walks away for the last time.


Singles Match

Balls Mahoney vs. Kevin Thorn (with Ariel)

Balls makes his way to the ring with the support of the crowd. Thorn and Ariel then do their elaborate entrance, but it is cut short -- Balls attacks Thorn while he is posing with Ariel in the ring. The house lights are brought back on and Balls unloads on Thorn with several stiff shots before tossing him over the top rope. Ariel tends to her man on the outside. Thorn slides back into the ring. Balls goes right back after his foe, but Thorn uses a drop toehold to gain an advantage. After stomping on Balls, the Goth takes the Jersey native down with a clothesline. Ariel cheers while Thorn executes a gutbuster and gets a two count. As Thorn continues to work his opponent over, Styles and Tazz continue to wonder what it is that Thorn and Ariel have against Balls. Thorn looks to set up for a Chokebomb on Mahoney, but Balls mounts a comeback, countering with a jawbreaker. Balls inflicts further damage on the lower face with a Superkick. Two count for Mahoney. Ariel hops up on the apron to screech at Balls, who responds simply by whipping Thorn into Ariel, knocking her back down to the floor. Balls then rattles off the combo of punches. He gets another nearfall after the wind-up shot. Ariel is upset when Balls nails a Legdrop on Thorn. Balls then indicates to the crowd that he's ready to end this thing; he goes to the outside and brings in a chair. Styles reminds us that Extreme Rules do not apply here; indeed, referee Mike Posey argues with Balls when he returns to the ring with a chair. With Balls distracted, Thorn sets up for a Big Boot and blasts Balls with the move. Thorn bears his fangs and then hits Balls with a Crucifix Powerbomb. This secures him the victory.

WINNER: Kevin Thorn by pinfall.

Things don't quite draw to a close there. Thorn and Ariel stand over Balls and grin in the darkness. It is not Thorn's music that begins to play but rather that of the Brood. Indeed, Gangrel is elevated to the entrance surrounded by a ring of fire and he walks to the ring with his goblet. Ariel and Thorn hold the ring ropes open for Gangrel. At mid-ring, Gangrel drinks and spits out some of the "blood" in the goblet. He proceeds to dip his thumb in the liquid and "annoint" the unconscious Balls with it on the forehead. Gangrel raises the goblet high in the air and is flanked by Ariel and Thorn. Styles and Tazz both are uncomfortable by the apparent rise of a new, bizarre contingent in WWE.


Balls Mahoney lost overness. Kevin Thorn gained overness.

Extreme Elimination Chamber - Extreme World Championship Match

Big Show © (with Paul Heyman) vs. Bobby Lashley vs. CM Punk vs. Test vs. Sabu vs. vs. Sylvester Terkay (with Elijah Burke)

Prior to ring entrances, Styles and Tazz announce that a six-man tag has been signed for RAW as a result of a variety of recent tensions: The Hardy Boyz will team with Chris Benoit to take on the team of Chavo Guerrero & Johnny Nitro & Gregory Helms.

In each corner of the ring enclosed by the structure is a weapon freely available for use during the match: a steel chair, a folding table, a metal chain, and 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. The first combatant to make his entrance is Big Show, along with Paul Heyman. Show takes his place in one of the cells. Bobby Lashley, CM Punk, and Test are the next three to enter and take their places in their respective cages. The fifth man to walk down the aisle is Sabu; he will be one of the two competitors who will start the match. Finally, the formidable Sylvester Terkay heads to the ring with handler Elijah Burke. Terkay will be Rob Van Dam's replacement for the match! Burke joins Joey Styles and Tazz on commentary and reminds viewers that Terkay, to whom he is now referring as "The Predator," is an Elijah Burke Production. Sabu and Terkay face off before the opening bell. From the start, Terkay is out to prove that he deserves consideration as a possible Extreme World Champion; he hits Sabu with various leg and arm strikes. Despite being knocked around a bit in the opening minute or two, Sabu regains some ground by responding to a whip into the ropes by springing off of them with a moonsault onto Terkay. At the conclusion of the first three minute period, Test's chamber opens. Sabu "greets" him by tossing the chair into his face. Terkay attacks Sabu from behind and then Terkay and Test work together, sending Sabu hard into the bulletproof glass of Test's now-vacant chamber. Terkay holds Sabu while Test charges in with a big boot. Sabu ducks and Test knocks Terkay down! Sabu sets up the table in the middle of the ring. Sabu then flies at Test with a bodypress but Test catches him. Test lifts Sabu up, preparing for a TKO, but Sabu slips out. Sabu grabs the chair again and goes Air Sabu on Test. Sabu lays Test out on top of the table and signals for an Arabian Face Buster onto the table. Sabu climbs to the top rope but is cut off at the pass by Terkay, who destroys Sabu with a Face Paver reverse chokeslam right off the top! Terkay goes for the cover, and Sabu is eliminated! Soon after, CM Punk is released from his chamber. Terkay and Test are exchanging blows. Terkay knocks Test in Punk's direction; Punk takes Test off his feet with a Legsweep DDT. Terkay then charges at Punk, who catches the Predator with a Roundhouse Kick. Terkay stumbles into the corner. Punk wastes no time in following up with his charging high knee. Punk attempts a pin but Terkay powers out with authority. Test comes at Punk from behind with the chain. He whips Punk on the back a number of times and then wraps it around his fist. He is poised to take a shot at Punk in the face with the chain, but Punk ducks and then hits Test with a surprise Snapmare and dropkick to the back of the head. Punk retrieves the chain and the crowd pops as he contemplates putting it to use. Terkay, though, jabs Punk right in the kidneys from behind with the chair and inflicts further damage with a side suplex; Punk lands right on the back of his neck. Bobby Lashley's chamber opens! Test charges but receives a big backdrop. Terkay moves in to attack Lashley, and Lashley catches Terkay and gets the big man up in an overhead belly to belly. Lashley turns back to Test and sets up for a Dominator through the table, which is still in-tact. Before he can execute the move, Punk grabs Lashley's arm from behind. Punk walks the ropes and drops a leg on Lashley's chest, sending him down to the mat for a two count. Terkay wraps the chain around Punk's throat from behind and performs a vicious Hangman's Neckbreaker with the chain. Terkay locks Punk in a Rear Naked Choke but Punk slides to the ropes. Test gives Lashley Snake Eyes in another corner. Test then grabs the barbed wire-wrapped 2x4. He takes a swing at Lashley, but Lashley moves out of the corner and sends Test into said corner with a shoulder block. The 2x4 falls to the wayside for the moment, and Lashley takes Test out of the corner with a Spinebuster. He then impressively picks up Test with a hanging vertical suplex. Lashley is met by Terkay, who kicks Lashley in the midsection and delivers a double underhook suplex. Test struggles to his feet. Punk measures him and the crowd pops as Punk charges in and locks Test in the Uranage! The Anaconda Vice follows as usual. Heyman and Big Show look on in frustration as ally Test has no choice but to submit. Soon after, Show's chamber opens. While Terkay and Lashley are busy exchanging blows, Show walks up to Punk. Punk stands his ground, but Show sends him down several times with a series of skillet-sized chops to the chest. Lashley, meanwhile, sets up for the Exploder Suplex on Terkay but Terkay foils that attempt with a knee to the midsection. Terkay clotheslines Lashley to the mat and then sets up the chair flat on the mat. Terkay picks up Lashley for his version of the Muscle Buster. Show, who has incapacitated Punk with the Cobra Clutch toss, breaks up the attempted Muscle Buster. Show and Terkay exchange right hands. Lashley catches his breath and sets himself up on the middle rope. He dives off and knocks Show down with a flying shoulderblock. Terkay picks up the chair and takes aim at Lashley, who takes Terkay off his feet with a double leg takedown. Burke begins to panic on commentary. Terkay stands as Lashley plays to the crowd. Lashley picks Terkay up and, in a show of strength, drills him with the Running Powerslam! Terkay is eliminated! Lashley has no time to celebrate; when he stands, Big Show is waiting with the chain wrapped around his fist. Show hits a right hand right to the forehead of Lashley, and Lashley is busted wide open. Show stomps away on the bloodied Lashley. Punk interjects himself back into the action with Mui-Thai style kicks to the head of the Extreme World Champion. Show is rocked but maintains his vertical base. Punk perseveres in trying to weaken Show, who eventually responds with a headbutt that sends Punk crashing to the canvas. Show drags the table back to the center of the ring. He signals for a Chokeslam and lifts Punk up for the move through the table. Lashley turns Show around. Punk hits Show from behind with a Standing Sidekick. Lashley capitalizes and gets Show up with a suplex that sends Show crashing through the table! Lashley goes for the pin attempt but Show kicks out before three, thanks perhaps to Heyman's pleading with Show to kick out from ringside. It's every man for himself as Punk whips Lashley into the ropes and catches him with an Arm Lock Facebuster. Punk immediately picks Lashley up and sets up with a Double Underhook, perhaps looking for a backbreaker. Show, favoring his back, is back on his feet by this point. Seeing Show headed in his direction, Punk abandons the attempted move on Lashley. Show charges at both Lashley and Punk who duck the double clothesline attempt. Show is able to connect with the move upon a second attempt, though. Show focuses his follow-up attack on Punk. Punk escapes another try for a Chokeslam by locking the giant in an armbar, but Show ultimately tosses Punk off of him. Show with clubbing blows to the back of Punk. He then hits Punk with the Showstopper onto the chair! Show rolls Punk onto his back and scores the three count! As Punk is helped to the back by officials, Kelly Kelly comes out wearing a look of concern and checks on him. We are down to Big Show and Lashley with the Extreme World Championship on the line. Lashley tries for another suplex on Show but this time his back gives out. Big Show slams Lashley hard. Show then props up the barbed wire 2x4 in a corner. He brings Lashley to a standing position and whips him toward the 2x4! Lashley reverses the whip, though, and all of the weight of the Big Show is absorbed back-first by the barbed wire board in the corner! To make matters worse, Lashley follows through immediately with a Spear! This garners an "Oh My God!" from Styles. Heyman is beside himself at ringside. Lashley hooks the leg. 1--2-- and Big Show kicks out just in time! Blood is now flowing liberally from both Lashley's skull and Show's back. The remnants of the carnage of the match so far sprinkle the ring: the shattered table, the broken 2x4, the sickeningly-bent chair, the mangled chain. Lashley sends Show down to his knees with a chop block from behind. Lashley with a boot to Show's face. Lashley charges in a second time but Show picks up the nearby chair and swings wildly at Lashley, catching him in the side. Show picks Lashley up and launches him into one of the bulletproof glass doors of the chamber. Show with a Sidewalk Slam, but Lashley makes it out of an attempted cover! Show hits more chops and then looks to powerbomb Lashley straight to hell. At the last minute before being picked up, though, Lashley uses all of his reserves to backdrop the Big Show! Heyman can't believe it. Show, in shock, slowly stands after taking the move. Lashley hits another Spear, this time against the unforgiving backdrop of the steel structure. Lashley covers Big Show with his back, hooking the leg. 1-2---3!

WINNER: Bobby Lashley

It's over, and we've got a NEW Extreme World Champion! Heyman collapses to his knees in devastation. Big Show is absolutely spent and remains down on the canvas. Referee Mickey Henson hands the bloodied, breathless Lashley the Extreme World Championship belt. Lashley, who has gone to hell and back for the Championship, raises the title high in the air, ushering in a new era for the title. As the show goes off the air, Styles predicts that Bobby Lashley is about to redefine "Extreme."


Extreme World Championship lost image.

Overall Rating: 71%

--The feeling backstage was that December to Dismember was a throwaway show given the demise of the ECW brand. The show was used to tie up ECW storylines, establish a new direction for the Extreme World Championship, and introduce some new concepts (including the new Gangrel/Thorn/Ariel angle). Big Show will be taking an indefinite sabbatical due to the current strain on his back. Show has been in considerable pain for works and had been pulled from house show dates.

--Despite the anticlimactic nature of the angle, his appearance at December to Dismember was likely Mike Knox's WWE swansong, at least for the time being. He has been reassigned to OVW. The CM Punk/Kelly Kelly storyline will nevertheless continue.

--There had been no plans to involve Sylvester Terkay in December to Dismember in any way until Rob Van Dam was injured.

--WWE.com's RAW preview hypes the Rated-RKO vs. Kendrick/London Unification Match; the Guerrero/Nitro/Helms-Benoit/Hardys six-man; and Bobby Lashley's first Extreme World Championship defense.

--In the dark match at December to Dismember, the FBI defeated The Highlanders. Robbie McAllister suffered a serious bicep tear during the match and will be on the shelf for upwards of a year. The injury all but guarantees that the Highlanders will be cut from the roster when their contracts expire in early 2007.

Edited by tqwcw
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This thing is fuckin' brilliant man, you're an incredible writer. Everything is so well tied to real life events but so vastly different. I know a WWE diary is good when it makes what’s going on in real life on our television screens look like crap. I'd literally cream myself if these events even came close to happening on my television. Please keep this up, I'll be reading each and every post you make here on out.

If I could advise to any pushes, it'd be Punk (obviously) and Matt Striker, both guys are just so damn talented, with a good solid push and a few good feuds both could be huge stars. I'd also semi-permanently tag up Dreamer and Sandman, with the reunification of the brands they're just a couple of midcard acts alone.. together they're a great novelty tag team. I'm also curious if you'll eventually use Monty Brown, seeing as he was signed by WWE a couple of weeks ago.. personally I'd pop him right onto television.

Anyways, bravo.

Edited by Evan Rules
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Man, this diary is awesome, can't believe I haven't seen any of your previous diaries (well I might've of, but can't remember any). Even though it seems so unrealistic, it seems realistic in the way you are doing it if you know what I mean. Only gripes I have is with your paragraphing, because it made me skim through a couple of matches & King Booker. He seems too English for me, so you should tone that down a bit.

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Wow. December to Dismember was terrible. I feel disappointed for spending $39 on that. Then again, what choice did you have? It was amazingly realistic, tieing up all of the ECW loose ends. Lashley winning the Extreme World Championship was pretty good and the logical choice. Gangrel returned and should form a sweet team with Ariel and Thorn. Anyway, this show just felt like another TV show. Like I say, though, it was the best way to promote D2D with a week to build the event, so kudos for that. I can't wait until you get to Armageddon.

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December 4 2006

Charleston, SC -- North Charleston Coliseum

Attendance: 9010

Announcers: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler

In the Ring

RAW kicks off with the hybrid entrance music of Rated RKO. Edge, Randy Orton, and Mickie James head down to the ring carrying their respective championship titles. The World Tag Team Champions are dressed to wrestle. When they step into the ring, they preempt Lilian Garcia's ring introduction. Mickie James takes the mic.

Mickie James: As you can tell, tonight's presentation of RAW is Rated R-K-O.

Edge: And I think it's only fitting that we kick things off as only the Rated-R Superstar can.

Edge and Mickie James stage an overdone kiss. Randy Orton then speaks.

Randy Orton: But the featured attraction tonight is next: the unification match for the combined WWE World Tag Team Titles. All the gold is on the line.

Edge: And to make our victory that much sweeter, DX is here.

The crowd cheers.

Edge: That's right. DX is here to see us do what they've never quite managed to: become undisputed tag team champions.

Orton: You know, that's all well and good, Edge, but you're forgetting the best part.

Edge feigns ignorance and then a lightbulb moment.

Edge: Ah! Thank you, Randy! It had completely slipped my mind. It had completely slipped my mind that the two men we're going to decimate tonight to unify the tag team championships have a-- well, they have a special place in Shawn Michaels's heart. Ain't that right, HBK?

Orton: Little known fact: Brian Kendrick and Paul London are graduates of the Texas Wrestling Academy. The Texas Wrestling Academy -- founded and run by Shawn Michaels.

Edge: Uh-huh. Kendrick and London are Shawn Michaels's star students, folks. They're his pride and joy; his proteges. And tonight, live on RAW, Rated RKO is going to squash them both, like a couple of them little pesky deer flies ya'll seem to attract here in Charleston. But in truth, it's a Rated RKO kind of week, isn't it, Mickie?

Mickie: That's right, baby. Because Friday night on Smackdown!, yours truly -- the WWE Women's Champion -- will be hosting a tribute to two of the most accomplished divas in Sports-Entertainment history: Trish Stratus and Lita. It'll make you laugh; it'll make you cry. And it will be Rated RKO!

Orton: But now, the moment you've all been waiting for. It's time for new WWE World--

Before Orton can finish his statement, the entrance music of Kendrick & London hits. The WWE Tag Team Champions sprint to the ring in their usual fashion, with Ashley in tow. Kendrick and London hit the ring. Edge and Orton charge, but the masked Smackdown! imports hit stereo dropkicks and send both members of Rated RKO down as the match gets underway!


1 -- Unification Match for the WWE World Tag Team Titles

World Tag Team Champions Rated RKO (with Mickie James) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Brian Kendrick & Paul London (with Ashley)

Caught off-guard, Edge and Orton roll to the outside. Kendrick and London stay on top of them, though, diving through the top and middle ropes and crashing into Orton and Edge respectively. Ashley likes what she sees out of her men so far while Mickie, who seems to be reverting to her unstable ways, scowls in frustration and outrage. Edge and Orton are able to regain their bearings on the outside. Orton sends Kendrick forehead-first into the ringpost, while Edge drives London's head into the ringsteps. Edge rolls London into the ring and these two start out the legal men. Edge focuses on the knee of London, looking perhaps to compromise his high-flying offense. Edge makes the tag to a fresh Orton and Rated RKO do an effective job of isolating London in their half of the ring. Edge is tagged in again. London catches him with an Enziguri and goes up top. Edge cuts him off there, though; he sets London up on his shoulders and proceeds to drop him with an Electric Chair for a two count. Edge with an Irish whip; London with a leapfrog and then a headscissors. London makes the hot tag! Kendrick hits a bulldog on Edge. Orton charges in but Kendrick ducks a clothesline and Orton inadvertently hits his partner. Kendrick goes for the pin on Edge and comes thisclose to getting the upset! Edge is furious when he gets to his feet and knocks Kendrick down with a right hand. Kendrick is sent into the ropes and hit with a Stun Gun. Edge tags Orton in. Orton throws his high dropkick. He measures Kendrick for the RKO, but Kendrick drops to the mat. Orton goes back to work with a snap suplex and leg drop for a two count. Orton goes off the middle turnbuckle with an elbow smash but Kendrick moves and makes the tag to London. Orton charges in but Kendrick & London work together to backdrop Orton out of the ring! London takes to the air again, hitting Orton down below with a slingshot body block. Mickie helps Orton to his feet. Orton limps back into the ring. London prepares to re-enter as well but, while Orton chats with referee Chad Patton, Edge works over London, clotheslining him onto the cement. Edge returns to his corner but Mickie continues to take cheap shots at London. Ashley will have none of this and turns Mickie around in order to slap the taste out of her mouth. While the divas roll around on the floor, London drags himself back into the ring. Orton goes back on the attack but London comes out of nowhere with a small package. Two count only. Orton punishes London with a backbreaker and makes the tag to Edge. London is in perfect position in the corner and Edge charges in for the Spear. London moves and Edge connects with the ringpost. Kendrick tags in and executes a sunset flip. He's unable to get Edge over into a pinning combination. Edge outpowers Kendrick, lifting him up dropping him on the back of his neck with a spinebuster. Edge signals again for the Spear and this time he hits it. London enters to try and break up the pin, but Orton rushes in and hits him with the RKO. Kendrick is unable to kick out following the spear, and Rated RKO are our WWE World Tag Team Champions.

WINNERS: Rated RKO by pinfall.

That honor is not enough for Edge and Orton. As soon as they are handed both the WWE and World Tag Team Championship belts, they take the boots back to Kendrick and London. London gets a Spear and Kendrick an RKO. Ashley looks on helplessly while Kendrick and London are each set up by Edge and Orton for Shattered Dreams courtesy of Mickie in each corner. The crowd then erupts as DX appear at the entrance and charge to the ring -- Triple H with the Sledgehammer and Shawn Michaels with a chair. Edge, Orton, and Mickie bail to the outside and back up the ramp with all of their gold. Michaels and Triple H leave Ashley to tend to HBK's graduates and chase Edge & Orton to the back! Returning from commercial break, DX continue the chase, but the Rated RKO trio hop into their towncar and speed off. The WWE World Tag Team Champions have crossed the line!


WWE World Tag Team Titles gained image.


Mr. McMahon is seated at his desk and Paul Heyman and Big Show stand opposite him.

Big Show (favoring his back): Mind if I take a seat?

Mr. McMahon: That barbed wire taking its toll, Big Show?

Show (sitting): Little bit.

McMahon: I didn't say you could sit down.

Show frowns.

Paul Heyman: Mr. McMahon. Vince. I know there must be a good reason you summoned Show and me here tonight.

McMahon: Yes, Paul. There's a very good reason. You know, Show, that I consider you a personal friend. But you also have to realize that, more than ever, the buck stops here, with me, as far as WWE goes. And I've been informed that footage from security cameras backstage at Smackdown! last week confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was you, along with Paul's personal security, who perpetrated that attack on Rob Van Dam: the attack that will keep him out of action for up to a year. I can't sit on my hands. I've got to take action, here.

Heyman: That's perfectly understandable, Mr. McMahon. Big Show deserves a formal reprimand and so do I, for that matter. As you know, The Big Show is my long-term investment. And I may have pushed him to go a step or two too far in order to protect him as such. Take disciplinary action, and I can guarantee you that The Big Show will be on his best behavior as he embarks on the road to recapture the Extreme World Championship from Bobby Lashley.

McMahon strokes his chin, thinking this offer. Lashley, head bandaged where he was busted open last night, then happens to pass by the office, and he steps inside, carrying the Extreme World Championship over his shoulder. Show flares his nostrils. Lashley doesn't flinch. Heyman addresses Lashley.

Heyman: Do you mind? This is a private meeting.

McMahon: Last time I checked, Paul, this was my office, and I've got no problem with Bobby Lashley being here. After all, what I have to tell you obviously effects him and his future title defenses. By the way, Bobby: congratulations.

Lashley nods. Heyman and Show are not pleased.

McMahon: Now: Paul, I've taken what you've said into advisement, but the fact remains that I've got no choice but to suspend The Big Show in response to his attack on Rob Van Dam last week.

Show bristles. Heyman calms him and turns to McMahon.

Heyman: Mr. McMahon, let's not be rash! Suspension is so categorical, so severe...

McMahon: Severe? No, Paul. Severe would be-- severe would be, oh, say, firing you and the Big Show both.

Big Show and Heyman's jaws drop.

McMahon: Severe would be inviting the two of you to become the newest members of the Kiss. My. Ass. Club. Big Show is suspended and he should consider himself fortunate.

Bobby Lashley: Wait, Mr. McMahon.

All three other men turn to Lashley.

McMahon (fascinated): Yes?

Lashley: You have yet to name my opponent tonight for my first Extreme World Championship defense. I walked out of the Elimination Chamber the winner last night, but it was the toughest match I've ever fought. Big Show? He deserves a chance to win the title back.

Show: You're damn right, I do!

Lashley: But I also deserve at the Big Show: to prove that I am the Extreme World Champion for a reason, and because I respect Rob Van Dam and I want to make the Big Show pay for what he did last week.

Show: You just go ahead and try, you sonovabitch!

McMahon: That's enough out of you. Lashley, I think an Extreme Rules match between you and the Big Show for the Extreme World Championship is just what RAW needs tonight, and so I'm going to make it happen.

Heyman, Show, Lashley, and the crowd react.

McMahon: But given the special circumstances, I think I'm only justified in raising the stakes. If Big Show wins tonight, he once again becomes the Extreme World Champion and Bobby Lashley becomes just another face in the crowd. But if Bobby Lashley wins tonight, he will cement his legacy as a great Extreme World Champion, and, Big Show? If that happens? If Lashley retains the title here tonight? His title reign will remain in-tact -- and so will your suspension!

Big Show and Heyman absorb the gravity of the task ahead of Show. Ron Simmons walks by and peeks his head in, listening in. Lashley turns to Big Show.

Lashley: It's on, Big Show. And tonight, I'm going to make the Elimination Chamber seem like a walk in the park.

Big Show glares. Simmons, taking it all in, folds his arms and looks from side to side.

Ron Simmons: Damn!



The menacing Kane is walking down a corridor backstage. Various workers such as Val Venis, Super Crazy, Candice Michelle, and Maria give the Big Red Monster a wide birth. Snitsky appears and marches up to his once-bitter rival.

Kane: You're in my way.

Snitsky: Yeah, that's the idea. I want to know what everyone else wants to know: what made you stab your brother in the back at Survivor Series? And what did you mean last week when you told Carlito you had no choice?

Kane: Since when do I have to answer to you, of all people?

Snitsky: This isn't about me, big man. It's about you.

Kane: I'm not in the mood to talk. I'm in more of a mood... to fight.

Snitsky: So, you're daring me to beat the answers out of you?

Kane: I'm daring you to step into the ring with me. And, before you accept? Just remember: What happens won't be my fault.

Kane laughs in his maniacal way and walks on. Candice and Maria have been looking on and scuttle up to Snitsky.

Maria: Gene? What're you gonna do?!

Snitsky pauses dramatically.

Snitsky: I'm going to lace up my boots, girls.


2 -- Singles Match

Charlie Haas (with Viscera) vs. CM Punk

Haas is accompanied by his tag team partner, the World's Largest Love Machine. Punk, making his in-ring RAW debut, enters to an ovation as we relive his standout performance in the previous evening's Elimination Chamber match. JR is stunned that Punk didn't suffer a concussion as a result of the Showstopper he took onto the chair before being eliminated. Match begins with a lock-up and exchange of holds. Haas makes it appear as though he's looking for a collar and elbow tie-up but he kicks Punk in the midsection instead and executes a double underhook suplex with a floatover cover. Eric Bischoff takes a seat in the front row once again, jotting down notes and watching the match intently. Punk kicks out, but Haas stays aggressive; he whips Punk in and delivers a drop toehold. Haas looks for the Haas of Pain early on but Punk makes it to the ropes. Haas goes for the waistlock, perhaps looking for a German Suplex, but Punk makes the standing switch and locks on a Hammerlock and then an Inverted DDT for a two count. Kelly Kelly steps out onto the entrance to get a closer look at the match. She is clearly pulling for Punk and is glad to see him on the offensive. JR and Lawler note that last night's incident involving Mike Knox may have been a formative one for Punk and Kelly Kelly's relationship. Haas eats the high knee lift in the corner but he is then able to counter a potentially-fatal Uranage with a Northern Lights Suplex. Haas bridges and Punk gets the shoulder up at two, much to Kelly Kelly's relief. It is then that Viscera takes notice of Kelly Kelly up near the entrance. The pajama-clad former King of the Ring licks his lips and begins walking up the aisle toward her. Lilian Garcia can be seen rolling her eyes. Back in the ring, Punk fires off several jujitsu kicks, finally sending Haas down with a roundhouse kick. Haas kicks out. Punk springboards off the middle rope, looking for a clothesline. Haas ducks and when Punk turns around, he is caught in a belly to belly suplex. In the meantime, Viscera has reached Kelly Kelly. Despite her open sexuality, she appears uncomfortable with Viscera's advances. Before Haas can follow up on his opponent, he is distracted by the proceedings at the entrance; he seems somewhat annoyed with his tag partner's proposition. When Haas does finally turn back to Punk, Punk pulls off the Uranage and transitions as usual into the Anaconda Vice. Haas taps!

WINNER: CM Punk by submission.

Viscera's attention is drawn back to the ring by the sound of the bell. He heads back to ringside to check in with his partner. Kelly Kelly is relieved to see Viscera go, and she applauds Punk from the entrance. Punk smiles and shrugs as he continues to be perfectly happy being the object of the exhibitionist's admiration.


3 -- Singles Match

Snitsky vs. Kane

The combatants stand face-to-face. Kane absorbs several shots by Snitsky. Snitsky bounces off the ropes and tries sending Kane down with a shoulder block but Kane maintains his balance. Kane rocks Snitsky with a few uppercuts and then sends him down with a big boot. A groggy Snitsky charges in but is met with a sidewalk slam. Kane gets a two count, and JR observes that we haven't seen a Kane this motivated in quite some time. Mid-match, Eric Bischoff vacates his seat as his recent scouting remains a mystery. Back in the ring, Snitsky seizes an opening by reversing an Irish Whip. Snitsky hits a back elbow and tries for a scoop slam, but his back gives out. Kane takes advantage by hitting a slam of his own. He then goes up top and hits Snitsky with his flying clothesline. When Snitsky stands, Kane grabs him by the neck for the Chokeslam. Snitsky slips out and tries for a Clothesline. Kane ducks and catches Snitsky again for a potential chokeslam; this time, he is successful in pulling off the move. Instead of going for the cover, Kane goes outside and brings in a chair. Referee Marty Rubalcaba tries to intervene but Kane tosses him over the top rope. This one is a no-contest.

WINNER: No decision.

Kane holds the chair high, hinting that he has big plans for it. JR reminds us that Kane once used a chair to crush Shawn Michaels's larynx (and that Snitsky returned the favor to Kane months later). Indeed, Kane sets up the chair around Snitsky's neck and is poised to stomp on the chair when Carlito charges to the ring. Carlito, fighting back after Kane's unprovoked attack last week, sends Kane rocking against the ropes with a dropkick. Carlito hits Kane with a second dropkick, and Kane tumbles over the top rope this time. A fiery Carlito invites Kane to come back into the ring. Kane laughs, apparently amused by the daring Carlito has shown. Kane points at Carlito as if to indicate that they're not through yet.



In his "chamber," King Booker paces with the World Heavyweight Title while Queen Sharmell stands by. Booker is troubled.

King Booker: In 27 days, I face John Cena for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

Queen Sharmell: And you shall defeat him. The world bore witness on Smackdown! to John Cena fallen in the middle of the ring. He is but a mere mortal. He, too, will go the way of Batista.

Booker (annoyed): Yes, yes. But I grow impatient. This rogue had the audacity to purloin our crown last week on RAW. Will no one rid me of this turbulent peasant?

Just then, Armando Alejandro Estrada and Umaga enters the frame. The King and Queen stand back.

Armando Alejandro Estrada: My name es Armando Alej--

Booker interrupts.

Booker (slipping into his unaffected voice): I know who you are, sucka. What the hell do--

Booker remembers himself and clears his throat.

Booker (returning to the posturing): You wish to speak?

Estrada: Do you realize what jou are looking at? Jou are looking at the Samoan Bulldozer: Umaga. July 17th; RAW: Umaga defeats John Cena. Haha! November 26th; Survivor Series: Umaga eliminates John Cena in a Traditional Survivor Series Match. Last Friday; Smackdown!: John Cena falls again to the Samoan Spike.

Estrada raises his eyebrows and rubs his hands together. Umaga huffs and puffs behind him.

Booker: I know that, you fool. I was there.

Estrada: Jour friend Regal? He couldn't get the job done. Johnny Nitro? Forget it. Umaga? Umaga es John Cena's worst nightmare.

Booker: Do you mean to imply that you wish to secure a WWE Title shot at Cena? Surely, you jest!

Estrada: Do I look like I yoking around to jou, King Booker?

Booker: Declare yourself, man! What are you playing at?

Estrada: I am a businessman. And I am making jou a business offer.

Sharmell (imploring Booker): Listen to him, baby.

Booker (to Estrada): Your man -- your "Samoan Bulldozer." You're offering his services to us?

Estrada: He is a proven commodity. Haha!

Booker quickly formulates a plan.

Booker: I see in our future a triumphant return -- a return to our homeland: to Smackdown! The King of the Ring, the Champion of Champions, King Booker and this-- this Umaga, against WWE Champion John Cena and a partner of his choosing. Why wait 27 days to best John Cena when it can be done in 4, instead?

The King, Queen, and Estrada beam while the intimidating Umaga stands at the ready. Will John Cena accept the challenge? Will he put it all on the line weeks before the unification at Armageddon?


King Booker lost overness. Armando Alejandro Estrada gained overness.

4 -- Six-Man Tag Team Match

Chavo Guerrero (with Vickie Guerrero) & Cruiserweight Champion Gregory Helms & Johnny Nitro (with Melina) vs. Matt Hardy & Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy & United States Champion Chris Benoit

All six of these men have had various run-ins of late and tonight they all clash in this six-man. Benoit is eager to start the match opposite Chavo, but Guerrero has second thoughts and immediately tags in Nitro. Benoit wrestles Nitro to the mat with ease. Nitro then finds himself in trouble in the corner; he falls victim to a number of Benoit's patented knife-edge chops and stiff stomps to the midsection. Benoit looks for an early Crossface, prompting Melina to scream bloody murder. Nitro avoids the submission with a forward roll. He tags in Helms, who springboards onto Benoit with a crossbody. Benoit kicks out at two. Helms attempts a snap suplex; Benoit counters with one of his own. Side backbreaker. Benoit hooks the leg; two count. Benoit with a snapmare. He isolates Helms in the corner and tags in the man who has been after Helms's Cruiserweight Championship: childhood friend Matt Hardy. Hardy rushes in with a clothesline on Helms. Helms leapfrogs a rush by Hardy and catches Matt hard with a Superkick. Helms struts, taunting the crowd before tagging out to Chavo. Guerrero picks Helms up and hits him with a few uppercuts. Belly to back and a two count. Vickie encourages Chavo to put Hardy away. Chavo plants Matt with a Brainbuster and then heads up top, telegraphing a Frog Splash. Matt moves out of the way at the last minute. He makes it to the corner and tags in his brother. Matt and Jeff hit a double suplex on Chavo before Matt returns to his corner. Chavo regains some ground with a headscissors. He sends Jeff into the turnbuckle but Jeff is able to hit the Whisper in the Wind! Two count on Guerrero. Jeff hits a nasty double legdrop to Chavo's groin. Vickie intervenes at this point, engaging in an argument with Jeff. This allows Chavo to dropkick Hardy from behind. Chavo sends Jeff into the ropes and hits him with a Tilt a Whirl backbreaker. Hardy is sent into the corner, and Chavo positions himself on the top rope. He pushes off for the Tornado DDT but Hardy is able to shove Chavo off. Chavo goes crashing to the matt. Jeff heads up to the top rope, runs across it a few steps, and nearly decapitates Chavo with a diving clothesline. Jeff tags in Benoit. Chavo tries tagging out in order to avoid facing Benoit, but Benoit grabs him by the tights. Benoit with a lariat. He then hooks his arms around Chavo's waist. Helms comes in to try to put the kibosh on the German Suplexes, but Matt cuts Helms off with the Side Effect. Chavo is drilled with the second of the three German Suplexes. Nitro then enters, but Jeff foils his interference with a clothesline that sends them both tumbling to the outside. Chavo takes a third German Suplex. Benoit heads up to the top rope and signals for the Harley Race Headbutt! Jeff, meanwhile, climbs to the opposite corner and signals for a Swanton! Nitro and Helms are busy double-teaming Matt on the outside. Benoit and Jeff make eye contact, and then both fly off the top with their respective moves on Chavo! Vickie thinks fast, though, and gets onto the apron to jaw with the referee, rendering Benoit's pin attempt irrelevant. Frustrated, Benoit stands and confronts Vickie. Vickie returns to the floor. Benoit returns his attention to Chavo and hits two of the Three Amigos suplexes. Jeff, in the meantime, collides with Nitro, Helms, and Matt with a plancha. Chavo summons a second wind to block the third vertical suplex. Benoit uses a double leg takedown to send Guerrero to the mat. He looks for the Sharpshooter but Chavo shoves Benoit off with his leg. Vickie then isolates Benoit by grabbing him by the boot outside. Chavo positions himself and blasts Benoit with a Hangman's Neckbreaker, exploiting the weakness of the surgically-repaired neck. As chaos reigns on the outside, Chavo again ventures to the top rope and connects this time with the Frogsplash. Sure enough, Chavo picks up the three count thanks in large part to the interventions of his business manager Vickie.

WINNERS: Guerrero & Helms & Nitro by pinfall.

After the pin, the Hardys dropkick both of their foes on the outside into the ringside barrier. They then enter the ring and chase Chavo off, proceeding to help Benoit to his feet. Nothing can spoil the good mood Chavo and Vickie are in following the victory, though.


In the Ring

Back from commercial break, Nitro and Melina are in the ring. They yell at Lilian Garcia to step into the ring. Melina takes Lilian's mic.

Melina (firm): Make the announcement again! Who won that match?

Lilian is confused.

Melina: You do speak English, don't you? Make the announcement!

Lilian (doing as she's been asked, repeating the announcement): The winners of the match: Chavo Guerrero, Cruiserweight Champion Gregory Helms, and Nitro!

Nitro grabs the mic.

Nitro: That's right! Nitro! I won, because I am a winner. (Indicating himself and Melina). We are winners! Jeff Hardy may be wearing my title, but he isn't fit to carry our luggage. Nitro and Melina are the hottest act in this business, and it's time for us to be recognized for that, dammit!

The crowd heckles Nitro and Melina, who cover each other's ears. They wear looks of disgust. The opening notes of My Time then play, and WWE Champion John Cena steps out onto the entrance! Nitro and Melina are fuming, and they back into the corner of the ring as Cena steps into it. He has a mic. He looks over Nitro and Melina and shakes his head before speaking.

John Cena: Nitro and Melina. Congratulations on the win tonight. That's great. And-- and, thank you. Really.

Nitro: We're not in the mood for games, Cena!

Melina: What do you want?!

Cena: Relax, ya'll. Thank you for setting us all straight: letting us all know that you're winners. See, it's funny. I thought-- I thought you two were losers. I mean, winners don't get their asses kicked like you did, Nitro -- by yours truly -- on Smackdown! last week.

Nitro and Melina are scandalized by the remark.

Cena: And I don't know any winners who are groupies of Kevin Federline, man. No, see. I never would've known that you guys weren't actually losers unless you'd come out here like you did and said so.

Nitro: You just wait until New Year's Day, Cena! K-Fed is going to humiliate you, and the whole world is going to be tuned in to see it!

Cena: You think it's gonna go down like that?

Nitro: Oh, I know it's going down like that! Matter of fact, I think I might just do our close, personal friend K-Fed a favor and start softening you up right here, right now!

Nitro charges at Cena, but Cena ducks and immediately lifts Nitro up and drops him with the FU! Melina is horrified. Nitro rolls to the outside and Melina fusses over him. Cena poses in the ring as the crowd pops.

Cena: See, I think that's how it's gonna go down on New Year's, K-Fed and I-- can't-- wait. But I guess I've got one or two other things to take care of first. King Booker and Umaga. The monarch and the freak of nature. You guys want to take me out this Friday night on Smackdown!? Well, that's funny, because-- because I just happen to want to do exactly the same thing to you. All you need to know is that I've got a partner and that on Smackdown! in four days? The champ-- will be there!

Cena's music hits and he slowly returns to the back. Melina looks on in disgust as she continues to try and revive the unconscious Nitro.


Nitro gained overness.

In the Ring with Lilian Garcia

After another break, Lilian Garcia stands at mid-ring.

Lilian Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Carolinas' own-- Nature Boy, Ric Flair!

Flair is scheduled to come out and address where his career is headed coming off a Survivor Series victory, but instead of Ric Flair's music, it is that of Mr. Kennedy which plays following Lilian's introduction! Kennedy heads down to the ring and the house lights dim. The usual spotlight illuminates Kennedy in the ring. His microphone drops into the center of the ring and he speaks.

Mr. Kennedy: Correction, Lillian. I-- am-- Mister-- Kennedy! (Pause...). KENNEDY! And I am the fastest rising star in the WWE. I've beaten World Champions. I've triumphed over The Undertaker -- I've drawn the Phenom's blood! I am the Superstar to watch. In fact, in a lot of ways, I am the polar opposite of your "Nature Boy." Ric Flair is over-the-hill. My God, Ric Flair was in the twilight of his career a decade ago, and me? I haven't even begun to enter my prime. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Ric Flair is irrelevant; Mr. Kennedy is shattering records, exceeding all expectations, and setting new standards in Sports-Entertainment. Why did I come down to this ring unannounced? Why did I pull the rug out from under Ric Flair? The answer is simple. The answer is that what I have to say matters. Ric Flair is an insignificant narcissist who doesn't seem to grasp the fact that he has overstayed his welcome. Mr. McMahon says that only the strong will survive in the new WWE, and that's why it's me who's standing in this ring right now -- not The Undertaker, not Ric Flair. But Mr. Kennedy.

Kennedy stares intensely into the camera. Ric Flair's music then begins! Flair, wearing one of his custom-tailed suits and looking rested after a week off, walks down the aisle, incredulous at Kennedy's gall. Kennedy looks on trying to mask his nervousness as Flair steps into the ring. After soaking up the crowd response, Flair addresses Kennedy.

Ric Flair: Did no one tell you? This-- this, my friend, is Flair Country.

The crowd seems to concur. Kennedy is irked.

Flair: And if you think for a minute that anyone buys the [censored] you're selling about The Undertaker, you can think again. You can stand out here all night and try to convince these people -- and yourself -- that Ric Flair is a nobody, but that won't change the fact that this business wouldn't be what it is today if it wasn't for the Nature Boy.

Flair removes his jacket and tosses it aside.

Flair: I was selling out arenas and winning world titles when you were in diapers, pal, and I'm doing it to this day. I've had more gold, money, and women than you'll ever even dream of having, Kennedy, and that is a statement of fact. One of the two people in this ring is out of his league, and I'll give you a hint: it ain't me!

Flair has gotten worked up and his face his red, the sweat pouring down his face. An ever-more anxious Kennedy swallows.

Flair (smiling): You're a talkative guy. Don't you have anything to say?

Kennedy: I-- I've got no beef with you, Flair. You've jumped the gun; misinterpreted me.

Flair: Ah. I see. Then maybe you'll be able to interpret me when I tell you to drag your sorry ass out of this ring before I do it for you.

Kennedy stares at Flair meekly for a moment. He then makes a gesture of deference and backs off. He begins to climb through the ropes as if he is going to exit. Flair turns his back and as soon as he has done so, Kennedy pearl harbors him from behind! Flair is sent down on all fours. He tries pulling himself up, but Kennedy shamelessly kicks Flair in the midsection. Kennedy continues putting the boots to Flair. Flair won't give in, though; he again tries to stand, but as he kneels, Kennedy gives him a couple of right hands and then a boot right in the nose. Flair ends up back down on the canvas. Kennedy mocks Flair's strut and utters a couple of "whoos!" as the residents of Flair Country register their disapproval. Kennedy grabs the microphone and speaks into it as he looks down on the fallen Flair.

Kennedy: Who's the legend now? Don't say I never warned you, Flair.

Kennedy is extremely pleased with himself. Officials and medics come down to the ring to check on Flair. Kennedy tries sticking around to admire the damage he's done, but agents sternly order him to the back.


Extreme Rules - Extreme World Championship Match

5 -- Big Show (with Paul Heyman) vs. Bobby Lashley ©

During the segment prior to the match, we see Ron Simmons holding a punching bag for Bobby Lashley backstage as Lashley warms up with some practice strikes. JR reminds us that Simmons was the first black World Champion in Sports-Entertainment and that Lashley is the first black Extreme World Champion. Perhaps Simmons is becoming somewhat of a mentor to Lashley.

Show is not a happy camper during his entrance; he faces either his second Extreme World Championship reign or an indefinite suspension. When Show reaches the ringsteps, instead of climbing up them, he picks them up and tosses them into the ring indicating that this will be an Extreme Rules match in every sense of the word! The champion enters to a pop with his title. He hops up onto the ring apron. Show heads right over to Lashley to attack but Lashley is one step ahead, hitting Show with a shoulderblock to the midsection through the ring ropes. Lashley hops over the top rope and kicks away at Show. Lashley, with momentum on his side, whips Show front-first into the corner. Lashley catches Show with a massive belly to back suplex. Lashley goes for an early pin but an impressive, angered Show powers out with authority. Lashley again shoves Show into the corner and hits him with strikes and boots. Show counters with a simple, ugly headbutt that sends the champion crashing to the mat. Show returns Lashley to a vertical base and slaps him across the chest with a few giant-sized chops. Show whips Lashley into the corner. Show charges in and backsplashes Lashley, crushing him. Heyman looks pleased. Show picks up those ringsteps. He charges at Lashley in the corner, looking to bash him in the head with the steps, but Lashley ducks. The steps go flying back to the outside. Lashley hits more Shoulderblocks. Show finally shoves him to the ground, though. Show picks Lashley up and executes a Sidewalk Slam. Show drops a big elbow, and then sets Lashley up in the corner. Show nails a Vader Bomb from the middle rope! Somehow, Lashley is able to kick out at two. Show is furious. He rolls to the outside and retrieves a table from under the ring. Show sets it up at ringside. He rolls back into the ring. Lashley is sent into the ropes. Show goes for the Big Boot, but Lashley dodges and Show crotches himself! Lashley pounds on Show, trying to send him crashing through the table below but Show is able to hold onto the ropes for dear life. Show hits Lashley with another headbutt, and this time Show reopens that head wound that Lashley suffered and had stitched the night before. Show returns to the center of the ring and locks Lashley in a Cobra Clutch, transitioning into a backbreaker. Lashley gets a shoulder up before the three count. Show clubs Lashley on the back and signals for the Chokeslam. Show grabs Lashley by the neck, but Lashley drops to his knees. Using his amateur background, Lashley armdrag rolls Show into a pinning predicament. Show kicks out. Lashley plays to the crowd and gets Show up in a Suplex! Heyman has had enough of this and signals to the back. His Personal Security rushes the ring while Big Show bails to the outside to try and recover. One of the riot guards receives a spear from Lashley. Lashley then ducks a nightstick shot from the second guard and takes him out with an exploder suplex. Show grabs the discarded nightstick and brings it into the ring with him. Lashley takes a shot to the skull with the nightstick. This is all legal under Extreme Rules. Show stands on Lashley, pressing all 500 pounds of him right onto Lashley's chest. Show drops an elbow and he, Heyman, and the announcers all assume it's over. Lashley gets his foot under the rope, though, and it's not over yet! Show again lifts Lashley up and prepares to lift him into a press slam. Lashley evades the move and sends Show into the corner. Lashley splashes Show twice. Heyman climbs up onto the apron. Lashley grabs Heyman by the lapel of his suit and nails him with a right hand; Heyman goes crashing through the table at ringside! Lashley turns back to Show, who is moving toward him; Spear by Lashley! Big Show has absorbed all he possibly can; Lashley hooks the leg and 1--2--3! It's over!

WINNER: Lashley by pinfall.

Lashley retains the Extreme World Championship, Big Show is suspended, and Show can't believe it! Heyman and his Personal Security are down and out at ringside amongst the wreckage of the shattered table. Big Show has both of his hands on his head at ringside as he absorbs the gravity of his situation. Lashley stands in the center of the ring holding his title high; he has now proven that he is the real deal. Ron Simmons joins Lashley in the ring to congratulate him as RAW concludes!


Big Show lost overness. Bobby Lashley gained overness.

Overall Rating: 78% (same as last week)

Television Rating: 6.51 (increase from last week)

--Big Show's storyline suspension will keep him off TV and the road indefinitely. Show is suffering from serious back problems and could require surgery. The tentative plan had been to program Show against Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania in homage to Hogan/Andre the Giant, but those plans are now up in the air given Show's condition.

--The plan is to continue to use Ron Simmons on-air as Bobby Lashley's coach/trainer and mouthpiece.

--Smackdown! preview: King Booker & Umaga vs. John Cena & a partner and Mickie James's tribute to Trish and Lita are confirmed by WWE.com. More matches will likely be set up for Armageddon. A total of nine matches are tentatively planned for the event, with only Booker vs. Cena and Benoit vs. Jeff Hardy official at this point.

Edited by tqwcw
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I have to say, I've liked all your work, just never commented. I'm more of a 'say something if there's a problem' guy.

That said, I still see no problem, I simply came to ask for one thing. Ron Simmons/Bobby Lashley training videos, ala the ones done with Simmonsa and Dewey Forte in Florida in the 80s. Please. :P

Keep it up, and I'll keep reading. You've got the characters pretty well down (some minor things, I'd like to see Booker slip back into his normal speech more, but thats minor), and it should be pretty interesting to see you work with a pretty bloated roster.

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Finally got a chance to catch up, and figured I'd leave a few points of interest. I was looking for D-X to cost Edge and Orton the title, because let's face it, neither Orton or Edge need the tag titles for their feud with D-X, and this seems like Kendrick and London are now about to be lost in the shuffle.

Haas and Punk would have been a great match, and would probably be a very good feud actually. Hopefully you don't go all out and push Punk to the top, but seeing as you've always been quite good with realism, I have faith that you won't. Punk is a good athlete, but he needs time to build his fanfare.

I don't know why anyone is so high on Striker. He's a generic wrestler playing a gimmick that was given to Shane Douglas so long ago, which is probably why I hate the gimmick. Every time I see it, I think of "Dean Douglas" and how it pissed on The Franchise's name.

Although I think that it'll be the way it goes in real life, Lashley winning the ECW title just seemed out of nowhere. They were priming Test it seemed for the win here, and he really doesn't seem to have a purpose now without there being an ECW, but then again, I could be jumping the gun on that one.

Umaga and Cena are definitely heading for a showdown, which means I can see Cena beating Booker at the ppv. Hopefully Cena is the one who puts Umaga down, because Umaga would not make a good Heavyweight Champion.

Onto the things mentioned, your paragraphs are a bit long, and could use some shortening up, but your writing is still superb. I like how Booker breaks in with his old self a bit, but he's been talking "English" for quite awhile, so I don't see it being a bad thing. I just love how he breaks in, forgetting about his "King" persona. Overall, this is still a great diary, and I look forward to see where you go with some of these storylines. Also, Thorn/Gangrel and Ariel rule all.

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  • 3 months later...

WWE Friday Night Smackdown!

December 8 2006

Florence, SC -- Florence Civic Center

Attendance: 9017

Announcers: Michael Cole & JBL

1- Singles Match

Chris Masters vs. Carlito (with Torrie Wilson)

On a night when World Heavyweight Champion King Booker and Umaga are scheduled to join forces against WWE Champion John Cena and a partner of his choosing, Smackdown! kicks off with in-ring action from the get-go. Chris Masters enters while Cole & JBL take us back to RAW two weeks ago when Masters clashed with Carlito over Torrie. Torrie accompanies Carlito to the ring in support of his efforts to put the arrogant Masterpiece in his place. Torrie gives Carlito a good luck kiss in the ring and Masters capitalizes by attacking Carlito.

The bell rings and things get underway with Masters pounding away ruthlessly on his one-time ally. Masters chokes Carlito with his boot in the corner. Masters pitches Carlito over the top rope. On the outside, Masters lifts up the protective mat and slams Carlito onto the cement. Masters then makes eyes at the Torrie, who is repulsed. Masters tosses Carlito back into the ring. A slow, plodding, cocky masters reenters and looks to drop an elbow on the back of Carlito's neck, but Carlito rolls out of the way and mounts his comeback: springboard back elbow, a pair of clotheslines, and a snap suplex get Carlito a two count. Masters reverses an Irish Whip and hits Carlito with a DDT and then a Press Slam. Masters signals for the Masterlock, worrying Torrie. Masters lifts Carlito up from behind by the arms, looking to lock on the Full Nelson. Carlito slips through, though; he ducks under Masters's legs and hits the Back Cracker out of nowhere! That's enough to give Carlito the win!

Torrie raises Carlito's hand in victory post-match and hands him a celebratory apple. Carlito looks to the crowd for approval. He takes a bite of the apple and prepares to spit in the face of the semi-conscious Masters on the mat. A minor explosion near the entrance brings Kane out onto the ramp, though; he stalks to the ring. The Big Red Monster is as menacing as ever. Carlito holds the ropes open for Torrie, sending her out of harm's way. Kane then steps into the ring looking for revenge on Carlito, who got the better of him on RAW earlier in the week. Carlito charges in but is knocked down by one right hand and then another. Kane hits Carlito with a Big Boot. Torrie screams while Kane drills Carlito with a Chokeslam and then drops him on his head with a Tombstone. Kane summons fire from all four ringposts as Carlito lays destroyed in the center of the ring. Has Kane finally rid himself of the nuissance that has been Carlito?

WINNER: Carlito by pinfall.


2- Singles Match

Jamie Noble vs. Kenny (with Nicky & Mitch)

Last week, the Spirit Squad left now-former member Johnny out to dry when he and Kenny teamed to face the new, Southern-themed duo of Jamie Noble & Jimmy Wang Yang. This week, Jamie Noble faces off with Kenny in singles competition. The Captain of the Spirit Squad is accompanied to the ring by team members Mitch and Nicky. Prior to the opening bell, Noble appears focused on the task at hand and is caught by surprise when the music of his new tag team partner strikes up. Jimmy Wang Yang and his girl Amy head to ringside to show their support for Noble, although Noble remains less than enthusiastic about his new alliance with oddball Yang -- an alliance foisted on him by WWE management.

Regardless, Kenny and Jamie lock up and the match is underway. Kenny enjoys his significant height advantage, but Noble compensates with his speed and technical ability. After Noble ducks a second rope diving clothesline by Kenny, the former Cruiserweight Champion hits Kenny with a double underhook swinging neckbreaker. Yang and Amy cheer enthusiastically, causing a jumpy Noble to startle back in the ring. While Noble is distracted blasting Yang, Kenny takes advantage with a right hand. Kenny sends Noble down with a dropkick. Mitch and Nicky conduct a virtual pep rally for their captain on the outside. Kenny knocks Noble down with a shoulderblock then sends him into the ropes again. Noble hits a leapfrog and then an armdrag to Kenny. Jamie is fired up now and Yang & Amy encourage him to put Kenny away. This brings Mitch and Nicky up onto the apron. Jamie is able to hit them both with a single leg lariat. He then turns his attention back to Kenny, who swings with a clothesline but misses. Noble DDTs Kenny and then locks on the Dragon Sleeper! Kenny is unable to hold out long before submitting!

Yang and Amy are thrilled for Noble and make it known as they accompany their grumpy associate to the back. Mitch and Nicky help Kenny to his feet, but when he regains his bearings, the Squad Captain immediately blasts Mitch and Nicky for their incompetence. The confrontation is brought to an abrupt end when disgraced Spirit Squad alum Johnny hits the ring with a chair! Johnny, no longer conforming to clean-cut Squad standards, is wearing jeans and a t-shirt and brains all three of his former teammates with a chair! The crowd responds with pleasant surprise as Kenny, Mitch, and Nicky find themselves laid out. Johnny has made it clear that, for him, there is life after the Spirit Squad!

WINNER: Jamie Noble by submission.


Kenny lost overness; Johnny gained overness

In the Ring

Women's Champion Mickie James heads to the ring as promised on RAW. She truly has taken Lita's place in every sense; the crowd chants "ho" at her in the ring. She tries to appear as though the heckling isn't getting to her. Mickie explains that Rated-R Superstar Edge couldn't be at Smackdown! tonight (perhaps evading DX...) but she promises that her tribute to the incomparable Trish Stratus and Lita will proceed. Mickie acknowledges both veteran divas' contributions to WWE's Women's Division but then takes credit for running them both out of the promotion for good! Mickie actually agrees with the crowd: she is a bitch -- but the title around her waist says that she is the Head Bitch in WWE; the Head Bitch in Charge, the HBIC, and there's nothing anyone can do about it! Victoria heads to ringside, causing Mickie to frown. Victoria runs down her storied pasts with Trish and Lita both, and says through it all, she learned to respect them. She's in the ring to shut Mickie's mouth. Victoria will force Mickie to pay her dues; she will teach her respect. Victoria suggests Monday on RAW, and Mickie accepts!


3- Singles Match

Mr Kennedy vs. Scotty Too Hotty

Mr Kennedy does his usual introduction, adding that he is the "New Nature Boy," referring to his beatdown of Ric Flair on RAW. Disapproving veteran Scotty Too Hotty enters for the match.

Scotty shows a bit of fire early on, but ultimately Kennedy takes it handily with the Kenton Bomb. Generic action and the crowd isn't into it beyond Kennedy's intro.

Kennedy performs the Flair strut after pronouncing himself the winner.

WINNER: Mr Kennedy by pinfall.



Josh Matthews interviews the self-proclaimed "Messiah of Extreme," Paul Heyman. Matthews wanted to know what was next for Heyman now that his long-term investment, the Big Show, had been beaten decisively by new Extreme World Champion Bobby Lashley. Heyman, never without a backup plan, explains that the key to investing is "diversification." Heyman then brings in a man whose proverbial stock has been on the rise since his arrival in ECW months ago: Test. Heyman confirms that Sunday night on WWE Extreme on SciFi, Test will face the Suicidal, Homicidal, Genocidal, Death-Defying Sabu in an Extreme Rules Match with the winner receiving a shot at champion Lashley. Test describes himself as "285 pounds of pure aggression," promising to steamroll the broken-down Sabu on Sunday night before moving on to Lashley. Test continues to come off as yesterday's non-news, even despite Heyman's involvement.


In the Parking Lot

MVP is chatting up WWE diva Kristal outside his limousine. 2006 Diva Search Winner Layla walks by and appears impressed by MVP's ride. Kristal isn't at all pleased by Layla's advances toward MVP, but MVP urges the ladies not to fight; after all, there's room for both of them in the back of his limo. Kristal and Layla are appeased by MVP's words and slide into the car. Before MVP can depart in order to make a night of it, Finlay approaches and asks Porter if he's ready for their match scheduled for two days away on Extreme. That he would be facing the Irishman who "loves to fight" is news to MVP, who seems less than enthusiastic. MVP tells Finlay he'll see him on Sunday night and Finlay moves on. An angry MVP then turns to his limo driver and instructs him to get his agent on the phone, "now!" MVP's act is being fleshed out a bit, but Finlay never benefits from talking.


MVP gained overness; Finlay lost overness.

4- Four-Way Elimination Match

Super Crazy vs. Little Guido (with Trinity) vs. Shannon Moore vs. Daivari (with The Great Khali)

The Cruiserweights are out on Smackdown!, and Cole is quick to note that the results of this match will go a long way in perhaps determining who will get the next crack at long-reigning champion Gregory Helms. Daivari may have the edge, here; he's picked up singles wins of late over both Super Crazy and Tommy Dreamer thanks in no small part to the assistance of his associate Khali.

In the opening minutes, the luchadore and Persian pair off while the Full Blooded Italian and punk do the same. At this point, Gregory Helms strolls out onto the entrance ramp to scout his potential challengers. Super Crazy clotheslines Daivari to the outside. Moore tries to take advantage by setting Crazy up for a Northern Lights Suplex, but Crazy hits an Inside Cradle and the Reject is eliminated! Little Guido then launches himself off the ring apron onto Daivari outside with a dropkick. Super Crazy makes it a three-way pileup after hitting both of his opponents on the outside with an insane Springboard Moonsault. Khali intervenes, lifting Guido and Crazy up and driving the ECW originals' heads together. He sends them back into the ring and then helps Daivari to his feet. Daivari heads up to the top rope and hits Super Crazy with a splash to eliminate him. It's down to Daivari and Guido. As Helms looks on, his former friend and current rival Matt Hardy steps onto the ramp to watch both the match and Helms himself! Helms senses Hardy's presence fifteen feet behind him and the former Hurricane directs a scowl at Hardy; Helms is irked that Hardy apparently hasn't given up his Cruiserweight Title aspirations. Back in the ring, Daivari sets Guido up for a Superplex. Guido has enough fuel in him to shove Daivari back into the ring. Guido then takes to the air with a Sunset Flip and picks up the three count! Decent semi-spotfest, but nowhere near as athletic as your typical X-Division cluster.

Guido rolls out of the ring and celebrates with Trinity; they head to the back before Daivari and Khali can avenge the loss. Hardy, meanwhile, smiles at Helms, who has been made aware of the fact that he is in the crosshairs of quite a few hungry Cruiserweights!

WINNER: Little Guido by pinfall.


In the Ring

Back from break, DX music unexpectedly begins and the fan get on their feet as a stern-looking Shawn Michaels steps out from behind the curtain. The Heartbreak Kid heads to the ring with purpose. Taking a microphone, he explains that tonight is not the night for crotch chops and microphone shticks. On Monday night, Rated RKO went below the belt to get to DX and the Heartbreak Kid in particular. He told Hunter to stay home tonight because it was family business that Shawn had to take care of. Paul London and Brian Kendrick grew up at the Texas Wrestling Academy, and when Edge and Orton targetted them Monday night on RAW, they took a direct shot -- a low blow -- at Shawn Michaels. And Rated RKO clearly knew that what they had done was out of line, as evidenced by their conspicuous absence from Smackdown tonight. Michaels promises that the new WWE World Tag Team Champions would have their sins revisited on them tenfold. Things then take an unceremonious turn as the country-style theme of Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch brings the Southern brawlers to the ring. Michaels shakes his head and looks on as Cade and Murdoch enter the ring. Murdoch wears usual scowl while Cade prepares to speak. Michaels preempts Cade by asking how many times DX has to squash Cade & Murdoch before they would simply go away. Cade tells that his expression of fatherly feeling in regards to Kendrick and London tugged at his heartstrings, but Cade can't help but feel overlooked, given that he too is a product of the TWA. Michaels quickly reminds Cade that he was the one who chose to become an enemy of HBK's when he tried to collect on the DX bounty months earlier. When Cade contends that HBK fears Cade's potential success, HBK proposes they cut the chit chat and settle the dispute the old-fashioned way. The two are soon exchanging punches, and as Murdoch steps out of the ring to stand in his tag team partner's corner, referee Charles Robinson arrives to officiate! Good promo from Shawn, who is stronger when showing genuine emotion rather than, say, pretending to be twenty years younger than he truly is. Highlight of the show.


5- Singles Match

Lance Cade (with Trevor Murdoch) vs. Shawn Michaels

Strapping Cade unloads early on the bad back of his teacher with clubbing blows. Cade slams Michaels in the center of the ring and drops an elbow for a two count. Cade tries throwing Michaels outside to be picked over by Murdoch, but Michaels Skins the Cat and then takes Cade off his feet with a Flying Forearm! Murdoch pops up on the apron, distracting Michaels while Cade recovers and charges. HBK has the presence of mind to duck, and Cade and Murdoch collide! Murdoch falls back down to the outside while Cade tries to regain his wits. In the meantime, Michaels tunes up the band, and then floors the disgruntled TWA vet with Sweet Chin Music! Michaels scores the pin. Cade looked pretty good here and a case can still be made for him as a future top or second tier name...

Cade and Murdoch have been incapacitated and the elder half of DX stands in the middle of the ring having sent a clear message to the absent Rated RKO!

WINNER: Shawn Michaels by pinfall.



A nervous Steve Romero welcomes his interviewees: Gangrel (with goblet), flanked by Kevin Thorn and Ariel. A deferential Romero questions the former leader of the Brood about his return to WWE on Sunday night, during which he "anointed" Balls Mahoney following the ECW Original's loss to the impressive Thorn. In response to Romero's questioning, Gangrel simply laughs, and then Thorn and Ariel join in. We are no closer to understanding what this new contingent was all about. Two WWE Superstars who have no interest in hearing the group out are Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman, who enter the interview area and confront the threesome about the rites performed on their (Dreamer & Sandman's) extreme running mate Mahoney. Sandman isn't sure if Gangrel and company speak the same language, so he and Tommy opt to "speak" to the vampires in a more direct way: with singapore canes! After a nasty brawl erupts, security appears to attempt (in vain) to restore order! Still too early to tell if the Brood knockoff will work in 2006/7, and Sandman and Dreamer's presence outside of an ECW brand seems awkward.


Thorn and Ariel gained overness.

6- Tag Team Match

Umaga (with Armando Alejandro Estrada) & World Heavyweight Champion King Booker (with Queen Sharmell) vs. WWE Champion John Cena & Extreme World Champion Bobby Lashley (with Ron Simmons)

Estrada leads his charge Umaga to the ring first. Queen Sharmell follows, ordering all to hail World Heavyweight Champion King Booker. The [WWE] Champ John Cena is next to make his way out, and he waits at ringside for the arrival of his handpicked partner, all the while keeping an eye on both his Armageddon opposition King Booker and another, dangerous thorn in his side in Umaga. A recognizable opening riff brings Extreme World Champion Bobby Lashley to the entrance with mentor Ron Simmons in tow. The formidable duo of Cena and Lashley shake hands at ringside before entering the ring. Cole puts over the fact that three prestigious champions will compete in this match.

King Booker starts off against Lashley, and the two are no strangers to each other. Booker attempts an early leverage pin. Lashley escapes, but Booker makes a quick tag to Umaga. He and Lashley, two monsters, exchange lumbering blows. Lashley is unable to take Umaga off his feet until finally taking Umaga to the outside with a clothesline that sends them both over the top rope. Booker joins Umaga in pounding on the Extreme World Champion on the outside. Cena hops off the apron to provide Lashley relief. An uncontrollable Umaga goes after Ron Simmons. Damn! Lashley grabs Umaga and sends him forehead first into the ringpost. Back in the ring, Umaga and Lashley hit double clotheslines and both go down. They each head slowly to their respective corners. Tags are made! Cena is on fire as he unloads on both Booker and Umaga. Booker fires off a desperation sidekick but Cena ducks and then drops Booker with the spin out powerbomb! Cena sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but devious Queen Sharmell and Estrada each grab one of Cena's legs from the outside! Simmons chases his heelish counterparts backstage while Cena turns back to Booker, but the damage has been done; when Cena lifts Booker up for an FU, Booker slips out and rolls through with a pinning attempt. Lashley breaks up the fall! The King clotheslines Lashley to the outside. Just as Lashley pulls himself up to his feet, Test hits the ringside area and blasts Lashley from behind with a chair, further demonstrating his interest in securing a shot at the Extreme World Title! In the meantime, Cena has hoisted Booker up once more for a possible FU, but before Cena can pull the trigger, Umaga blasts him out of nowhere with the Samoan Spike! World Champion Booker falls on top of Cena and picks up the 1, 2, 3! There were no world-class workers involved in the match but the heat was strong enough to make this engaging. Umaga and Lashley both are being elevated by virtue of their placements in main events.

WINNERS: King Booker & Umaga by pinfall.

Dazed and semi-conscious, Cena rolls to the outside. The animalistic Umaga watches his fallen prey while the arm of cowardly King Booker is raised in the middle of the ring. If he can best Cena again in a matter of weeks at Armageddon, he will become the unified WWE World Champion! The King; Umaga; K-Fed; the list goes on: Cena is a marked man!


Lashley and Umaga gained overness.

Overall Rating: 69% (down 5% from previous week)

Television Rating: 6.01 (up .43 from previous week)

--More on the logistics of the ending of the brand extension: While no talent will be exclusive to any of the three weekly shows, some effort will be made to distinguish RAW, Smackdown!, and Extreme from each other. RAW will typically feature all of the company's top stars and will include the most noteworthy angles of the week. Not all of the A-Listers will appear on Smackdown! each week, and even fewer will be seen on Extreme. Smackdown! will routinely feature lengthier matches as well as squashes designed to get certain wrestlers over. The cruiserweights will be seen most prominently on Smackdown, as well. Any Extreme Rules matches that occur on TV will probably be seen on the Extreme program.

--There have been a lot of eyes rolling backstage since December to Dismember over the strong push Bobby Lashley is receiving. Lashley is seen as Vince McMahon's current pet project.

--There are big plans for Spirit Squaders Kenny and Mikey and now-ex-Squader Johnny. The buzz is that Mitch and Nicky's futures are less certain at this time.

--With Trish Stratus and Lita finished with the company, the plan is to push Victoria as the babyface, veteran leader of the divas' locker room.

--There are no plans to remove Paul Heyman from TV. Creative is pleased with the Test/Heyman pairing, and Heyman may acquire additional clients over time, as well (hence Heyman's remarks about "diversification" on Smackdown).

--Kristal and Leyla are among a group of talents slated to become a regular part of MVP's on-air entourage.

--A conscious effort is being made slowly but surely to rebuild midcard talents such as Cade & Murdoch, Charlie Haas, and William Regal (among others) who have been portrayed trivially in recent months.

--As established on Smackdown!, scheduled for Sunday's WWE Extreme: Test (with Paul Heyman) vs. Sabu to determine Bobby Lashley's Extreme World Championship opponent for Armageddon, as well as MVP vs. Finlay.

--Developmental update: Claudio Castagnoli, who signed a developmental deal last month, reports to OVW in January.... CW Anderson, who has been paid to sit at home for months, is headed to DSW.... Chuck Palumbo continues to work dark matches despite the recent gaffe with Funaki.... Harry Smith and TJ Wilson will be debuting for OVW soon. There is still a lot of buzz about a new Hart Foundation being launched and in place by next year's big Screwjob anniversary.... Needless to say, Matt Cappotelli remains inactive but under contract.... As WWE tries to streamline its new, combined main roster, a number of mid and low-level names may be shifted down to development for seasoning or to serve as trainers.... Paul Heyman's Riot Guards have been dropped from TV, so Derrick Neikirk is back in DSW and Doug Basham in OVW. Neikirk had replaced Danny Basham in the gimmick when Basham suffered a torn bicep months ago. Danny won't be cleared to wrestle until around February. No word on plans for either of the Bashams in terms of the main roster.

Current rosters:

OVW: Boris Alexiev, Braddock, Cherry, Chet the Jet, Chris Rombola, Cody Runnels, Dan Rodimer, Deuce Shade, Dice Domino, Doug Basham, Jack Bull, Jacob Duncan, Katie Lea, Mason Raige, Mike Knox, Mike Kruel, Oleg Prudius, Ryan Reeves, Seth Skyfire, Shawn Osborne, Shawn Spears, Steve Lewington, Victoria Crawford

DSW: Afa Jr, Angel Williams, Bradley Jay, Brett & Brian Majors, Brooke Adams, Damien Steel, Derrick Neikirk, Drew Hankinson, Eric Perez, Gymini, Heath Miller, Jon Bolen, Keith Walker, Kofi Kingston, Krissy Vaine, Maryse, Robert Anthony, Shantelle Taylor, Sonny Siaki, Terry Ray Gordy, Tommy Suede, Tony Santorelli, Tracy Taylor

Edited by tqwcw
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