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This isn't any winning the lottery or my mom worked for Vince's Asian massage therapist story. This is a story about the perfect hand. Here I was sitting at the World Series of Poker, Main Event. My mom and dad threw in to pay the buy-in. A perfect Christmas gift. So here I was going head to head with some of the biggest Poker stars. There was one person I recognized right away. It was Paul Heyman. At this point of the tourniment, Heyman and I had been discussing what to do with our winnings. Heyman said he would find the most brutal assasins and pay them every dime, to kill Vince McMahon. I was like damn this dude is out of his mind, but hillarious. Anyway, he got a big smile on his face. Then he winked at me and said, "All In." I had to call him. I had pocket Q's. Heyman had pocket A's, though. The dealer delt the flop; 2 of Spades, A of Hearts, and K of Spades. I looked at him and he was smiling. That son of bitch had a set of Aces!! Dealer burns a card and deals.... another Q!!! Even a set of Q's can't win this hand so I began to pack my things. Dealer then deals another card and Heyman begins to scream!! Four fucking Q's, Heyman was out!! Needless to say I didn't win the whole tourniment, but I made a pretty penny.

As, I was leaving the hotel the next day, I bumped into Heyman. We got into his mini-van and began to tell me his idea. Next thing I know I was on the phone with a TNA head. I told him that I would invest a couple of million in his wrestling company, if he hired Heyman. Along with Heyman, I also promised him a hand full of WWE Wrestlers in the deal. This was the beginning of the end for WWE. So I wrote the check and Heyman went to TNA.


Jeff Jarrett

Christian Cage

Kurt Angle



Kevin Nash

Monty Brown

Scott Steiner

AJ Styles

Brother Devon

Brother Ray

Jerry Lynn

Kip James



Samoa Joe

Bobby Roode

Chris Harris

James Storm

Elix Skipper




Maverick Matt

Petey Williams

Andy Douglas

Chase Stevens

BG James

Brother Runt

Chris Sabin

Christopher Daniels


Lance Hoyt

Ron Killings

Jay Lethal

Sonjay Dutt

Shark Boy

Alex Shelley

Austin Starr

Eric Young


Johnny Divine

Roderick Strong



Christy Hemme

Jackie Gayda

Jim Cornette

Shane Douglas

Larry Zbysko

Gail Kim

James Mitchell



Paul Heyman

TNA Impact is on Thursdays at 9:00.


Paul Heyman is rumored to show up on the next episode on Impact. There has been rumors around the internet, that he is going to bring some of WWE's superstars with him. Some names rumoured are Sabu, Sandman, and Rob Van Dam.

Edited by SmokeouT
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TNA Impact Preview

A huge announcement earlier in the week announced the arrival of Paul Heyman. He is scheduled to be on Impact tonight. He has an announcement that could shake the entire Wretling World!

Rhino and a couple of former ECW superstars have stated, that they do not want Heyman around. Rhino said, "If Heyman is showing up in TNA, it won't be long before he thrown out. I will do everything in my power, to stop this cancer from spreading."

Abyss is scheduled to take on former NWA World Champion, Ron Killings.

Also, Jerry Lynn returns as a full-time wrestler.

Sting will be in the house and he wants Christian Cage. A rumor has been spreading, that one of Christian's closest friends has been spotted backstage. This man has been spotted going into Christian's private locker room.

Edited by SmokeouT
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A huge announcement earlier in the week announced the arrival of Paul Heyman. He is scheduled to be on Impact tonight. He has an announcement that could shake the entire Wretling World!

What's Wretling?


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TNA Impact

Paul Heyman starts the show off saying he is the new sheriff in town. He will be one of the bookers and there are going to be great changes around TNA. Heyman began to do a shoot on WWE. How they turned his baby into a laughing stock of the Wrestling World. Before he could talk much more, he was interrupted by Rhino!! Rhino ran to the ring and got right in the face of Heyman. They begin to argue in the ring. Rhino now grabs Heyman and pushes him into the ring. The lights go out in the arena. When they come back on, the homocidal, genocidal, suicidal extremest, Sabu is in the ring holding a chair. He points to the sky and throws the chair into Rhino’s face. The fight spills to the outside. Referees and officials enter the arena to break the fight up. Heyman is in the ring and announces that tonight, in the main event, we will see ‘the War Machine’ Rhino take on ‘the Human Highlight Reel’, that is Sabu.



Ron Killings vs Abyss w/ James Mitchell :

Abyss uses his strength to take the early. Abyss takes Killings down with a massive big boot. Abyss hooks the leg, but Killings kicked out at the 2 and half count. Killings ducks a clothes line, and hits Abyss with a jumping side kick, unable to knock the beast to the ground. Killings heads to the top rope and connects with a missile drop kick, but barely affects the big monster. Killings comes off the top rope with a double axe handle, but Abyss catches him across the throat and drops him with a nice clothes line. Abyss makes the cover again, but Killings kicked out. Killings hits Abyss with a gut shot, bounces off the ropes and connects with the Lie Detector. Killings hits Abyss with a jumping leg drop. Abyss kicks out and hits Killings with an upper cut. Abyss takes Killings down with a lariat. Abyss has him up and connects with the Shock Treatment, it’s over now!!! 1...2...3!!! Abyss picks up a nice win, over the former NWA World Champion. Mitchell joined Abyss in the ring for a celebration.

Winner: Abyss

69, 65, 74


Kurt Angle is walking around backstage, meeting some of the various TNA wrestlers. He then comes to Samoa Joe. Angle offered him a handshake, but Joe just laughed in his face. Saying that he doesn’t care, what he did in the Olympics or how many titles he won in WWE. Joe said, “There is just one problem with you.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ve never beat me...” Joe finished.

“Well, we will have to change that, soon!” Angle finished and walked away from the ‘Samoan Submission Machine’.

Samoa Joe just nodded and gave an evil smirch, sending us to the commercial break.


Jerry Lynn vs Elix Skipper :

Jerry Lynn enters the ring with the mic. He rants on about how this X Division has gone done hill. He knows that he has to come back, come back to prove he is the best X Division star or light heavy weight wrestler in the world. He has layed down the challenge to any cruiserweight, X division, or any one around the world to accept. Elix Skipper now makes it out to the ring. Skipper is a former tag champion with XXX a couple years ago. Presently he was involved with the Diamond in the Rough, but that stable has been disband. He wants to prove he is a singles competitor. Lynn is right on the attack working on the legs of Primetime. Lynn hits a drop kick to the downed opponent. Lynn locks Skipper in a fierce camel clutch. Now with some forearms on the forehead of his opponent. Lynn gets tripped up and Skipper crotches Lynn on the top rope. Skipper the walks the ropes and hits Lynn with an amazing hurricanranna. Elix Skipper hits Lynn with the Play of the Day!! 1...2... no! The veteran gets his leg on the middle rope. Skipper heads to the top rope and comes off with a moonsault. Lynn catches him in mid-air and drops him shoulder first, over his knee. Skipper is hurt now and Lynn has focused in on the shoulder now. Lynn slams Skipper shoulder first into the gaurd rail, between the second turnbuckle. Lynn then drops Skipper down with an arm breaker. Skipper makes it to his feet and ducks a super kick with the Matrix!! Lynn turns him around and connects with the Cradle Piledriver!!! Lynn now locks Skipper in a reverse arm bar and Skipper has no other choice, but to tap out. Lynn wins the match, but he isn’t finished. Lynn rolls to the outside and grabs a chair. He brings the chair into the ring and wraps it around Skipper’s shoulder. Lynn comes off the second rope with a huge leg drop!!! Skipper is thriving in pain. Officials hit the ring to calm Lynn down. EMT’s come to the ring and take Skipper out on the stretcher.

Winner: Jerry Lynn

71, 64, 79


Sabu w/ Paul Heyman vs Rhino :

Rhino hits the ring looking more pissed off than usual. Sabu now comes down to the ring, with Heyman by his side. Heyman gets on the mic and announced that this match is a hardcore match. Rhino is on task taking the fight to Sabu. Both men brawl back and forth, until Rhino takes Sabu down with a huge chair shot!! Rhino now throws Sabu to the outside and slams him into the steel stairs. Rhino piledrives Sabu on the stairs, as well. Sabu has been busted open and has dawned the crimson mask!! Sabu is down and Rhino pulls a table from underneath the ring. Rhino pulls Sabu onto the apron and attempts the piledriver. Sabu hits Rhino with a backdrop and he crashes through the table. Sabu sets a chair up in the ring. Sabu runs up the chair, bounces off the top rope, and crashes into the Rhino with a somersault plancha. Sabu now sets up a table and lays Rhino onto it. Sabu rolls into the ring and uses the ropes to catapault himself over the top. Rhino moves and Sabu crashes through the table!!! Rhino sets a table up in the corner of the ring, going back to his ECW days. Rhino pulls Sabu into the ring and picks him up over his shoulder and runs to the ring, but Heyman is in and smacks Rhino in the back with a Kendo Stick. Rhino drops Sabu and immediatly turns to Heyman. He hoists Heyman over his shoulder and Gores him through the table!!! Heyman had been taken out of this match. Rhino is up and takes a chair shot, from Sabu. Sabu sets it up and goes for the Triple Jump Moonsault!!! Rhino rolls out of the way and hits Sabu with the Gore!!!! Rhino sets a chair up near the corner and drags Sabu over. Rhino pulls Sabu onto the ropes and comes off with the Rhino Piledriver onto the chair!!!!! Sabu is out and Rhino picks up the win. Rhino celebrates on the turnbuckle, but The Sandman hits the ring with the Kendo Stick. Sandman sets Rhino up onto a table. Sabu comes off the top with a leg drop!!! Sabu, Sandman, and Heyman stand strong in the middle of the ring.

Winner: Rhino

73, 71, 75


Sting comes down to the ring. He wants Christian to come out and face him. Sting tells Christian he has something that rightfully belongs to him. The World Title. So Sting calls Christian the ring, but nothing happens. Then Christian’s music begins to play and his video is being played. Sting is looking straight at the ramp, just waiting for Christian to get into the ring. Chris Jericho attacks Sting from behind and beats the hell out of him. He stomps him all over the ring. Jericho then locks Sting in the Lion Tamer!!!! Sting is unconsious and busted open. Jericho screams....” The King of the World is here!!!!”Jericho exits the ring, before security can get to him. EMT’s run to the ring to check on Sting.


Overall Rating: 79

TNA got a rating of: 4.36 and Spike TV is extremely happy.

Elix Skipper will be out for a couple of months, due to a shoulder injury cause by Jerry Lynn. No one knows what is going through Lynn’s mind. But his open challenge will still be on.

Edited by SmokeouT
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