What Did You Watch Today?

[ROC]

A Life Less Ordinary - 7/10

While it's obviously not the instant classic Trainspotting was, Danny Boyle's third major film is a fascinatingly orginal take on a romantic comedy. Cameron Diaz actually gives me her first performance where it seems she isn't trying too hard to bubbly and sexy (though, I suppose Being John Malcovich and Feeling Minnesota would be in this vein) but naturally is. Ewan McGregor makes his little man Robert make sense and be interesting and brings in a solid performance. The supporting cast is grade-A, with amazing talents like Delroy Lindo, Holly Hunter, Ian Holm, and Stanley Tucci among the names. As I said, it's not a great movie. A few scenes feel ridiculously schlocky, but as is the nature of rom-coms. If you've ever wanted a clever twist on the modern romance fare, this is definitely a darkly funny film that accomplishes that.

[BlackFlagg]

Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood of War - 9/10

[Ananas]

Underworld: Evolution - 3.5/10

Ultraviolent, ultrasexed and ultralame, "Underworld: Evolution" has clearly lost whatever it was that made the original work. There is so much muddled characterization and non-sensical plotwork that it's hard to even follow the films many twists and turns, much less enjoy them. The fight choreographer has clearly chosen a tactic of ultra-gore to overcompensate for the underwhelming nature of the action elements, but when you've got nothing else to market the film on, it just doesn't work. Kate Beckinsale is too good for this like she was too good for Van Helsing. She really ought to get past the vampire obsession and take roles based on other merits.

[Ananas]

RV - 4/10

I don't know if it's a by-product of no longer being in my teens, but suddenly I think that Robin Williams is hilarious. His high voltage antics, once a style I utterly reviled as deceptively annoying, now really seem to work with me. And in RV, his talents are well on display. So unfortunate is it that he doesn't get to play all the roles. Maybe it's just that the lead's family is so poorly constructed but everyone backing Williams up, save Kristen Chenoweth and Jeff Daniels as the oddball campers they encounter, comes off awful. So there's hope that Robin Williams can be funny, but man, he's got to get some better people on the other end of the camera.

[Ananas]

Poseidon - 5/10

150 million dollar budget, star studded cast, and yet they can't make a better movie than Paul Walker and a bunch of dogs? Poseidon is full of flashy special effects and plenty of talented performers, but without a solid screenplay or consistently sympathetic characters, this one is, erm, out to sea. Emmy Rossum must consider herself a seasoned world traveller by now. She's been hit by an ice age in New York, seduced by a angry choir boy in Paris and now sunk at sea. And Richard Dreyfuss, well, can they get this guy another decent role somewhere? I'm just happy there weren't any sharks in this flick, because you know he'd have stormed off the set screaming "I'm Richard Dreyfuss! I don't need to do this shit again." And the Black Eyed Peas' Fergie appears briefly as a singer (and it's a stretch for her, because this singer actually hits her notes), at some point even showing what could be interpreted as emotion, but the jury's still out on that one. Oh, and Johnny Chase appears with the Narc-iest of moustaches. Other then that, it's lame. It's The Day After Tommorow but not impressive enough. Not it disaster or anything, but too shipshod (the puns just keep coming) for my tastes.

[Rashid]

What I've watched recently.

The Hills Have Eyes

I hated it. It was a fucking gore fest, and that's all they relied on. This was not scary at all. They just relied on violence to scare people, which I give a thumbs down to. Gore in horror movies is good, but it should be secondary. In this movie the gore was primary. I didn't care for the characters, and towards the end, I was hoping they'd just all die. This was one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen. Worse than FT13 Part 7, worse than Jason X. Worse than the Bliar Witch Project...okay not that bad.

I'd give Hills Have Eyes (remake) a 2.2/10

The Libertine

I'm a huge Johnny Depp fan and this movie didn't disapoint me. He did a great preformance, I just felt the rest of the movie somewhat lacked. Overall, a pretty good movie.

My rating: 7.3/10

Scarface

A fantastic movie.. One of the best movies I've ever seen. Not really more I can say, 9.5/10

WOW! This really blew me away. It's hard to think of one negative thing about the movie. I guess I wasn't really satisfied with the ending, but the rest was superb.

Overall: 9.7/10

[Ananas]

The Devil Wears Prada - 7.5/10

Lush direction, razor sharp dialogue and multi-dimensional characterization already in hand, it comes as an amazing bonus that the cast of The Devil Wears Prada is as superb as it is. You could make the argument that Meryl Streep (who is superb) stars in this film with the heir apparent to her position amongst the Hollywood elite. Anne Hathaway, coming off of an Academy Award nominated film (Brokeback Mountain) and a decidedly adult oriented drama (Havoc) shows her ability to play mainstream without relying on appealing to the lowest common denominator. This one is a mix of comedy and drama, and it could be argued that this is her best performance yet. Rounding out the supporting cast are Adrien Grenier (Entourage), Stanley Tucci (The Terminal, Road to Perdition) and Tracie Thoms ("Where is the RENT? I must have the RENT") among others, astonishingly strong for a director only on his second feature. It's a populist dissection of one of America's most vain and elitist industries. And it works beautifully.

[Numbahs]

Tsotsi - *** out of *****

[Ananas]

Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - 6/10

Not near as much fun as the original. It's still a massive looking swashbuckling epic, but that genre was dead before the first Pirates film revived it, and it only survives on the charisma and charm of Johnny Depp. It's still here, but on a lesser level. In fact, it's the performances of Johnny Depp and Keira Knightley that prevent the film from being a bad one, which is remarkable considering it's $225 million price tag. Definitely disappointing, but good enough to tide us over. Hopefully the final installment delivers.

[ROC]

The Hills Have Eyes

I hated it. It was a fucking gore fest, and that's all they relied on. This was not scary at all. They just relied on violence to scare people, which I give a thumbs down to. Gore in horror movies is good, but it should be secondary. In this movie the gore was primary. I didn't care for the characters, and towards the end, I was hoping they'd just all die. This was one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen. Worse than FT13 Part 7, worse than Jason X. Worse than the Bliar Witch Project...okay not that bad.

I'd give Hills Have Eyes (remake) a 2.2/10

[The Hardcore Canuck]

Mr. And Mrs. Smith

3/10

A waste of time. This is a generic action flick, and a poor one at that. I will break down my ranking. One point for Vince Vaughn. One point for Angelina Jolie being smoking hot. One point for Adam Brody's Fight Club shirt. And those are the only three good points of the movie.

[Ananas]

Curious George - 7/10

Richard Roeper said of this film that "to tell people my age, or someone 25, that they should spend nine or ten bucks to see this movie I can’t do it." I suppose I agree, but I wouldn't ask for someone with child to take their kids to A History Of Violence either, yet I still think it's a great movie. With kids captivated by the whimsical humour and parents enjoying Jack Johnson's matching tunes as well as Will Ferrell's spirited voice work, it's hard not to think this is a very good film. It's not Shrek or Toy Story, but it's definitely that animation has had to offer so far this year.

[Plankton]

The Big Lebowski- ****1/2

Um, maybe I was a bit late in watching this one. It was awesome. What else really needs to be said that hasn't alreayd been said? Great performances, great characters, great story. My only complaint is the tripped out scenes made the pacing lag for me. But that is very minor.

[ROC]

Melinda and Melinda - 5/10

Woody Allen's 2004 film features some solid acting and good form, but the film's characters and writing is too slipshod to really work. A lot of the situations just come off as embarrassingly bad, almost She Hate Me bad in their delivery, but the acting by talents like Will Ferrell (who does his best effort to make drama work for him), Radha Mitchell, and Chiwetel Ejiofor puts it somewhere in the meh category.

[Ananas]

Hot Tamale - 3.5/10

Okay, I will now see EVERY movie Diora Baird appears in. Well, at least the R-rated ones. Apart from that (and a bit of decent humour), this one's a trainwreck. Made me appreciate mainstream films for a second.

[Plankton]

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest- ****

I loved this movie so much. I would put it at the equivalent of a really great spotfest wrestling match (think TLC). Maybe it wasn't one of the best movies ever or anything, but it was damn fun. You can just kind of turn your brain off and enjoy yourself.

[Ananas]

The Fast And the Furious: Tokyo Drift - 4/10

Car go fast. Car make loud noises. Tween go "oooh", and "aaaah". Everyone else, of course, sees it for what it is, a bland attempt to cash in on the success of a franchise that wasn't very good to begin with and certainly isn't now. Long gone are the prime time players. No Vin Diesel, no Paul Walker; hell, no Tyrese. We've got a former child actor and a former child rapper instead. What can I say that hasn't been said about this series already? It's the most desperate of attempts to distract from a dearth of creativity or a cohesive storyline. And the third installment isn't any better. Let it die now, please.

[ROC]

Hot Tamale - 3.5/10

Okay, I will now see EVERY movie Diora Baird appears in. Well, at least the R-rated ones. Apart from that (and a bit of decent humour), this one's a trainwreck. Made me appreciate mainstream films for a second.

Edited July 13, 2006 by ROC

[Ananas]

Final Destination 3 - 3/10

First, ROC wanted me to mention the following things:

1) This movie could have been made awesome had it featured a naked Diora Baird for 90 minutes as well as Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke talking about shit.

2) When this whole review thing is over, me and ROC and Kris Lemche are going to get an apartment. Joan of Arcadia is invited so it's not such a sausage fest.

3) The director's name is James Wong. That sounds like Wang. Hehehe...

Now on to the movie. I'm sorry, but in what alternate universe are unfortunate accidents frightening? Tragic yes, but the subject of a horror movie? I mean, it's not like people lock their doors and bar their windows when a roller coaster malfunctions. No, they do it when there's some crazy ass villain on the loose, and I'm sorry but Death? The lamest of villains. Nobody doing their job is a villain. Especially Death. Imagine what we'd think of life if Death weren't around to give it meaning. Shame on you, Wong. Hehehe... Anyway, the great Kris Lemche has a scene for the ages, but for the most part this is contrived death sequences and unnecessary nudity. Not that I'm complaining, but once you've seen Diora Baird, no nudity will seem impressive for a while. Still, it's a fun movie... FOR ME TO POOP ON.

[ROC]

1) This movie could have been made awesome had it featured a naked Diora Baird for 90 minutes as well as Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke talking about shit.

Edited July 13, 2006 by ROC