The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Dead (or at least got SDvR2006 and wants to focus on that) Reflecto Day: Adventures in Contract Negotiations...

Contract Negotiation #1: Robbie Richter, 4/04.

As Robbie was proceeding to do some work, suddenly the telephone rang...

Phone: "Hello, is Robert Richter in?"

Robbie: "Speaking..."

Phone: "Well, hello, Robbie, you old son-of-a-bitch! It's Jerry Jarrett. How's the family?"

Robbie: "They're healthy, they're happy, and they're being pushed to the moon..."

Jerry: "Excellent! Just like I'd expect out of you, Robbie..."

Robbie: "You should talk, Jerry..."

Jerry: "Listen, this isn't entirely a social call- I'm here to talk a little business...I heard you and whacked Out wrestling have got a lot of pull in the AWAMLW right now- heck, I been hearing you're one of the Board of Directors there..."

Robbie: "I know- it's decent work, if I can get it. I wanted a major role on a national fed once before I quit this thing, and I doubt wOw will ever make it THAT big..."

Jerry: "Well, to get to the point...I'm sure you know I run NWATNA, and we're really desperate to nip this AWAMLW thing in the bud quickly..."

Robbie: "I see...so you're trying to hire me away from AWAMLW?"

Jerry: "Oh, no. I know you're in charge of booking your homegrown guys, and to be honest, I'm ready to talk turkey..."

Robbie: "Okay. Who exactly are you talking here? Giving you fair warning, though: I can't give you Shane Goddard- Bauer will murder me if I let one of the first major AWAMLW homegrown stars walk to NWATNA. Heck, I've been hearing Bauer talk AWA World Title for Shane- I can't pull him out now when he's this close to the brass ring!"

Jerry: "Oh, no, we're not interested in Shane Goddard- his style's not what TNA's all about. He's too heavyweight style for the X-Division, and has no WWE experience for the heavyweights."

Robbie: "Then who do you want?"

Jerry: "I've been hearing good things about this 'Bishounen Boys' team you have..."

Robbie: "Oh, I knew it. You want the Bishie Boys. Well, you are aware that might be a problem..."

Jerry: "Oh yeah? What's the matter?"

Robbie: "Well, Steve has this bad case of stage fright in major scales- it's why the AWA keeps him as a jobber. And Tom...well, he's suffered a bad ankle injury- I don't think he'll be ready to work for another 3-4 months, not counting time to get rid of ring rust."

Jerry: "Okay...we can't get the Bishie Boys. How about this 'Nobodies' tag team I hear so much about? Can we get them?"

Robbie: "They're the AWA Tag Team champs right now. Court will kill me if I give them to you now...unless..."

Jerry: "Unless what?"

Robbie: "I've heard talks from Court that he plans to split up the Nobodies after their current feud with the Ballard Brothers is over with. After that, he plans to push Joey Hamm as a major player for them. Give me a month, and I think I can get you Greg Burch. He's closer to the X-Division style; you'll be better off with him."

Jerry: "So one half of the Bishies is injured, and one half of the Nobodies is protected by AWA...I've got it. How about a compromise? Get me Steve and Greg, and we'll be good there!"

Robbie: "I think I can make it happen...but if you're taking Steve, I have one request...my daughter usually works as the manager for the Bishies. If you're taking Steve, he'll really need a mouthpiece- how about it?"

Jerry: "You mean to say you let little Jocelyn work in wOw? You must have become weaker in your old age- I remember you telling me you'd never let your little girl enter the business...eh, hell. I'll take her. You're lucky I'm a softy, Robbie..."

Robbie: "Excellent. There's a few prospects in wOw who are making some noise...shall I send you files on them?"

Jerry: "Well, we're trying to start a development deal with NWA-Wildside: I'll call up Bill Behrens and have him get in touch with you if they'd be worthwhile for him."

Robbie: "Okay, Jerry. Thanks- great talking with you again."

Jerry: "Any time, Robbie! Any time!" Robbie hung up the phone and set to work contacting the chosen workers to tell them the news...

Contract Negotiation #2: Tom Goddard, following the formation of the Death Eaters.

"Hello...?"

Jerry: "Hi, Tom. This is Jerry Jarrett calling..."

"I recognize the voice. What's going on?"

Jerry: "Well, I'm not going to beat around the bush. I've been hearing stuff about this shit you've been pulling up in Minneapolis, and it got me to thinking- this doesn't make sense. Tom Goddard seemed like a stand-up person when I met him for that show, and Jocelyn, Greg, and Steve have told me nothing but good things about him. Something has to be up..."

"I take it you never met Court H. Bauer- he may book me on Monday nights, but he's a total Catch You Next Tuesday..."

Jerry: "Well, I'm calling because from these things, you may want to think about whether AWAMLW's the right place for you. You see- with the stuff you've pulled, it is pretty obvious. Your talent and your charisma may get the fans in Minneapolis on your side, but I sincerely doubt that you'll ever be The MAN in AWAMLW. You stay there, your career is going to suffer, and you'll likely end up small-time as a result. I've seen it happen to too many good workers on the verge..."

"So what should I do about this?"

Jerry: "Well, the answer is simple: I want you to jump ship from them and come to work for me in NWATNA."

"I see...you do realize the problems here, right? The wOw World Title is connected to the AWA East Coast title. In my wrestling career, all I've wanted was to be the wOw World Champion. I'm still a little skeptical of going- if I jump to NWATNA, I'm worried that I'll never get to have that title push in wOw as a result..."

Jerry: "I can see the problem, but the fact remains. We just lost AJ Styles to the WWE. It's just been a couple weeks, and the arena's deafening with the 'We Want AJ' chants. We think you're the only person on the indy scene who can make these fans forget AJ Styles."

"Okay...so I'd have some of the biggest shoes to fill possible in the fed...?"

Jerry: "Well, we wouldn't ask you to fill his shoes. We've already got a gimmick in the works for you- we think there's a lot of potential for it to really get the crowd behind you. Hell, we're already planning to script out some vignettes for it as we speak."

"That seems a little presumptious...I mean, making vignettes when I haven't even confirmed it?"

Jerry: "It's the best choice. Look at the facts, Tom. The Internet got word of this. It's known Court Bauer hates your guts. You stay in AWAMLW, you'll be a midcarder for life- almost a certainty to never win the AWA World Title- to never be The Man in the AWA. By the time you get chewed up and spit out by the AWA, you'll be an afterthought to indy wrestling fans. But if you jump to NWATNA...I'm almost certain that by this time next year, Tom Goddard will be the face of NWA: Total Nonstop Action. AWAMLW will NEVER allow that to happen."

"I know, but I can't just walk out on these things..."

Jerry: "Tom, Tom, Tom. I never thought this would be this hard. Greg, Jocelyn, and Steve were nowhere near this tough to get to. I didn't want to do this until you agreed to the contract, but I'll do it to sweeten the pot: We need you to be our top name. Name your price and it's yours." Tom thought for a little bit...

"Well, AWAMLW is paying me $400,000 a year, so...I want $500,000 a year. Plus I get to continue to work for wOw and AWAMLW-I'm too worried that if I go, they'll can all of my friends in anger."

Jerry: "We'll give you $600,000 and allow you to work for wOw and AWAMLW on two conditions: First off, you have to agree not to work in Japan unless it's on an NWATNA-sponsored tour of the country."

"Okay- Court's pretty focused on making the AWA big in America and Robbie takes people from Japan, he doesn't send people over. I'll bite. What's the second condition?"

Jerry: "We want to make sure you'll stay with us for a while and won't just jump ship if we keep you on this deal. Hence, we want a condition that if you decide to go to the WWE within 24 months of your signing, you have to pay NWATNA a $300,000 release fee."

"Okay...the WWE hasn't shown any interest in me as of yet and TNA seems like it's coming up for this. I'll take that condition."

Jerry: "Well, that settles it. Welcome to NWATNA, Tom Goddard. I'll fax Robbie a contract detailing these things. I'll probably set a timetable to have you debut at the Super-X Tournament."

"Excellent. Oh, and one more thing..."

Jerry: "Yes?"

"Could you keep it a secret from the rest of the wOw guys? I want it to be a surprise..."

Jerry: "You've got it." I hung up my phone completely and utterly JACKED. Let me get this straight: In one day, I managed to take over an entire broadcast of a major wrestling federation, become one of the most hated men in AWAMLW, and as a result of that and my various contracts, now I'm being paid a million a year to wrestle! I had to celebrate this one. But first...to get less of an abhorrence to country-western music: Jocelyn and Steve told me that was what I could expect to have to listen to if I signed with TNA...

(More to come...)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Meanwhile, that week, a couple of wOw superstars were pissed off with the federation...

Steve: "Okay, this is just bullshit. I'm the lynchpin of wOw throughout the TV era, I'm one of the hottest heels on TV today, and what does Robbie do? First, he makes me lose the title to Jeff Hardy of all people, and then he lowballs me. Does he WANT to succeed? Doesn't he realize that I am the reason people come to see wOw right now? I deserve a big raise for how well I've proceeded to work the last few years,man!"

Ironwood: "Ye don't 'ave ta tell me that, mate- I mean, Robbie's been givin' me crap too. 'e lowballed me somethin' fierce in my contract offer- claimed I 'wasn't getting over in me feud.' I mean, 'ELLO! Ye put me up against Quincy Bloody Penfold! The Rock couldn't get that guy over, and ye expect ME to be able to keep me heat against 'im- ESPECIALLY when I'm booked like a wanker against 'im? C'mon...I deserve much better than that!"

Steve: "Well, this is going to have to change. Unfortunately, we can't get the word out we'd be willing to jump feds unless we find a new booking agent. Luckily...I think I found our man..." Just then, a familiar figure walked through the door...

Figure: "i heard u were willing 2 jump from wow...ooh, ur cute...lol ill pretend u said 18..."

Steve: "Um...I'm 22, Mr.Feinstein..."

RF: "oh, ok steve...ooh is this ur friend? i would deff kiss him...hes a hottie..."

Ironwood: "Um, Steve...why did you pick RF again? He's all...creepy..."

Steve: "Well, if we're going to get hired, we need someone running our booking who's a real mover and shaker. RF here happens to be on par with Robbie for being able to get his guys work, and so he's the only game in town if we're going to jump..."

RF: "so...u want 2 be in Special K? im always looking 4 hotttt young studs 2 enter the stable..."

Ironwood: "Well, ROH is a good option, but I was hopin' for a run with a bigger fed- you know, NWATNA, possibly WWE..."

RF: "ill try- steve already gave me some stuff, but ill keep going..."

Steve: "By the way, Mr. Feinstein...how'd those feelers I asked you to send out go?"

RF: "not good...Robbie Richter still holds 2 much power in AWAMLW...he sez if u wont work 4 him, u wont work 4 AWAMLW. WWE was no luck either...they said theyd only take u on 4 a development deal, and u said u want tv..."

Steve: "I see..."

RF: "cheer up...worst comes 2 worst, there's always ROH..."

Steve: "I guess..." Just then, Steve's cell phone rang...

(The following is in Spoiler-Vision...)

Voice: "Hello, Steve..wah wah wah...we saw some of your tapes, it looks like you've really improved your weaknesses from wah wah wah...we'd like to offer you a contract to wah wah wah...we've got the perfect way to introduce you into our promotion, with a spot that's bound to increase..."

Steve: "Really? That's great...but how do I know it'll be different from wah wah wah?"

Voice: "Steve, Steve, wah wah wah. This is a great spot, and there's a lot of room for possible stardom. You were wah wah wah before, but now, you'll be one of our top prospects.

Steve: "Well, I guess I can take the spot. Okay."

Voice: "Excellent! Wah wah wah! Anything else?"

Steve: "Well, I have this friend looking for a change in scenery...goes by the gimmick of Ironwood. Think there's room in wah wah wah for him?"

Voice: "Room in wah wah wah? He's one of the top prospects in indy wrestling right now- of course there is. We might need to change his gimmick, but I can work with him..."

Steve: "Excellent. Thank you..."

Voice: "Okay then." Steve hung up his cell phone and turned to Ironwood: "It's a go. I just got us work with Wah wah wah."

Ironwood: "Wah wah wah? Excellent, mate!" Just then, RF headed over to them.

RF: "does this mean u dont need me?"

Ironwood: "Sorry, but I think I'll stick with Robbie for right now if 'e'll take me back...I mean, all I really wanted was a run in a major fed, and if wah wah wah's calling- I can 'andle wOw for right now..."

RF: "but...can i still kiss u?" Steve and Ironwood left as RF sighed...

Just then, the scene was broken from this negotiation to the AWAMLW Pay-Per-View...

AWAMLW: Wild and Wicked

Joey Styles: "Welcome to AWAMLW: Wild and Wicked- the first in a new era for AWAMLW- the monthly Pay-Per-View extravaganza! I am Joey Styles, and with me as always is Jeff Richter!"

Jeff: "This is a great night, Joey, and we've got a big match to start it. You see, AWAMLW has been without a Global Cruiserweight Champion for a little while now, and they've decided to settle it, and settle it tonight. Four tag teams will do battle at tonight's show, and the winning team will go on to fight for the Global Cruiserweight Title on Underground this Monday. 3 teams were given their marching orders for the match, but the fourth team will be made as the result of this first match. To make it even bigger, AWAMLW sent out feelers all around the world, and opened it to all comers, with the first 20 people to RSVP to this match getting a shot to be part of that fourth team! 20 people will enter, but the last two will get a shot to fight for the Cruiserweight Title!" Just then, the 20 people started making their way out to ringside (including such luminaries as ROH stars BJ Whitmer, Danny Maff, and Dunn, WCW castoffs like Damien 666, and WWE castoffs like Cassidy O'Reilly) and prepared to fight...

Open Call 20-Person Battle Royal for shots at the vacant Global Cruiserweight Title:

1) BJ Whitmer eliminated by Eric Justice

2) El Zorro eliminated by Billy Boy Barrio

3) Alan Barrio eliminated by Eric Justice

4) Ben Taylor eliminated by Chris Stylez

5) Ash Parker eliminated by Doug Gilbert

6) Adam Pearce eliminated by Eric Schwartz

7) Dunn eliminated by Chris Stylez

8) Chris Stylez eliminated by Claudio Castagnoli

9) Mandy eliminated by Chris Bosh

10) Eric Schwartz eliminated by Damien 666

11) Chris Bosh eliminated by Claudio Castagnoli

12) Doug Gilbert eliminated by CIMA

13) Austin Lee eliminated by Eric Justice

14) Billy Boy Barrio eliminated by Claudio Castagnoli

15) Claudio Castagnoli eliminated by Danny Maff

16) Eric Justice eliminated by CIMA

17) CIMA eliminated by Danny Maff

18) Danny Maff eliminated by Damien 666

Survivors (to go on to "semifinal"): Cassidy O'Reilly and Damien 666

After the match, Paul Burchill was WALKING~! until he passed the laundry list of eliminated people from the battle royal. Just then, the female competitor in the battle royal walked up to Burchill...

Mandy: "Say...I've been watching your matches here, and you seem to be on your way to the top. However, it looks like you need someone to watch your back- make sure you're able to stay unbeatable here. How about it?"

Burchill: "I can't let myself lose focus on my goal- to destroy my main target here. You understand that...right?"

Mandy: "Oh, I don't think you understand my plight. We were brought here as tryout workers...there's no guarantee we'll be allowed to stick around. I don't know about those boys over there, but I would do anything to keep a spot in AWAMLW...ANYTHING..." Mandy licked her lips while running her hand down Burchill's chest..."

Burchill: "Anything, eh?"

Mandy: "Oh, you better believe it, big boy..."

Burchill: "Okay. I've got a handicap match tonight with the Headhunters. Make sure they don't double up on me too often, and I'll think about it..." Burchill kept heading to the ring as Mandy slapped her head and muttered "...moron..."

Paul Burchill v. The Headhunters

Okay, this is just sad for the Headhunters. Once, they were a possible major team in the AWA tag ranks, but now they're left as jobber fodder to make the new unstoppable monster more dominant-looking. The Headhunters kept fighting as they usually do, but Burchill was just too damn good. Mandy tried to stop the Headhunters from going into the ring, but she was pretty much left with "Sitting there and Looking Pretty" more than anything else. The match was pretty basic from there: Headhunters tried for a Double Fat Guy Splash, but Burchill got out of the way and proceeded to lock a Fujiwara Armbar on Headhunter B while Mandy distracted Headhunter A, allowing Burchill to get the win. Afterwards, Mandy hit the ring and hugged Burchill, only to have Burchill take the mic...

Burchill: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I can't get that close to you... I mean, the more people who remain close to me, the more weapons the person I must destroy will have to try and break me. You understand, right, miss?" Burchill left the ring as Mandy still followed up after him...

(33, 71, 52)

Headhunter B loses 4 points for how utterly emasculated the team was by Burchill

After the match, some footage was shown of Red Lotus's National Women's Title victory at wOw Strange Days...

Richter: "This is going to be a good match. As people may have read on AWAMLW.com this week, there was a huge upset coming out of Providence this Sunday, as Ayako Hamada lost the National Women's Championship to the unheralded Red Lotus. As per the rules binding the National Women's Championship, Hamada is guaranteed an automatic rematch at the closest time possible, which was determined by the AWAMLW Board of Directors to be tonight..." Just then, Ayako Hamada came down to the ring to a whole lot of nothing, save for a few "hormone" pops from horny teenage boys. After that, Red Lotus came to the ring and started an attack on Hamada to get the match going...

Before the match, Alex headed over to me...

Alex: "(So...who do you want to cheer for?)"

Red Lotus

Ayako Hamada <----

Red Lotus v. Ayako Hamada

You know, sometimes I wonder. With all the focus that whacked Out wrestling and AWA: Major League Wrestling have put into trying to get a nationally-recognized championship over in this day and age with the National Women's Title, it goes to the question: Is it really worth it? On the one hand, it makes whoever holds the title arguably the top female competitor in the United States today, which serves its purpose well, but on the other hand, there is the problem that most of the feuds and angles that focus on the title occur in wOw, leaving AWAMLW to get a majority of really, really boring women's matches. Without people like Veronica Diamond and Steve Evans in AWAMLW, it's harder to get over Ayako Hamada's role as a badass enforcer to keep women from going after Diamond, and without the rest of this "Klub Kamikaze" wOw runs, all you have left with Red Lotus is basically some girl in a ninja outfit. This would have been a great match in wOw, but in AWAMLW it's just one of those matches that is just...there. It's a shame, really, because for a women's match, this was a cool matchup. The two put on a decent enough show, despite there not being enough there. Red Lotus managed to hit a Red Mist on Hamada, then hit a Sunset Flip on her to get the pin and retain the title as AWAMLW fans were loaded with indifference.

(55, 78, 66)

After the match...

Hamada: "You honor me by continuing to cheer me, Tom Goddard. Apparently you are not the spoiled little wOw brat that you appeared to be when I first started working with you..." (LOVE-LOVE...INCREASE?)

Red Lotus: "Honestly...what is wrong with you? Is it because you don't think I'm pretty under the mask? I'll have you know I am a real 10 when not in costume..." (LOVE-LOVE DECREASE)

After the break, Ariel was backstage with Finale before the match...

Ariel: "Finale, tonight you go out and face one of the legends of wrestling of the last two decades, Dustin Rhodes. What are your thoughts tonight?"

Finale: "I'll tell you my thoughts, young Ariel. You see, for too long, people come on the chopping block, thinking that they may have the skill to face my leader- the one who rules the AWA with an iron fist and a golden belt. They try to go against one of the most trusted lieutenants in this order in an attempt that their miracle victory against me may somehow put them on the radar of the champion. And now...this relic from the last bastion of the cartoonish gimmick thinks he is even in the same SPORT as the future of violence in America, the hottest gaijin to hit Japan in years, the neo-Messiah of destruction- FINALE? The only thing Dustin Rhodes was ever good for was going to Vince McMahon, dressing up in gold body paint and pretending to be gay for the shocked mid-'90s fan's delights. But lo...I still remember that time fondly. I remember his tagline: 'You will never, ever forget the name...GOLDUST...' Well, Mr. Rhodes...tonight, in this ring, YOU will never, EVER...forget the day you took your legend into the ring...and proceeded to meet...with your...Finale."

Dustin Rhodes v. Finale

This match was one of those matches where AWAMLW was in a no-win situation. On the one hand, Dustin Rhodes needed a big victory over Finale here so that they could have an attempt to get a viable new face challenger to Potsmoker for the World Title. On the other hand, Finale's gained so much steam that losing to Dustin Rhodes would be a hinderance to his rise to one of the top homegrown AWAMLW stars (one of the federation's biggest credits so far.) In short, either way would be a big blow to the people of the AWAMLW. As such, they tried their best to keep it as sane as possible, as Finale proceeded to get Rhodes into a BRUTAL match, really punishing the veteran with his skills. However, just as Finale proceeded to lock in the Ordinary Vanity on Rhodes, Mirko Cro Cop came out of the back and shot on Finale relentlessly, then set Finale up so that Rhodes could hit the Shattered Dreams on him. Rhodes got the pinfall, and Rhodes and Cro Cop proceeded to raise each other's hands in success. Well, I suppose that's all they could do...

(87, 79, 84)

Mirko Cro Cop gains 5 points overness for helping someone put one over on the Death Eaters

Bryan Danielson v. Low-Ki

Sometimes, I wonder if this is a great match for a National federation on their first monthly PPV. I know, Danielson and Low-Ki are two of the best in the world, but come on: Neither one of them has much in the way of charisma, character, or skill outside of the ring. As such, the fan is left with something that would have gotten huge "BOR-ING" chants if the two weren't as respected. It's a shame, because it was an awesome match, with Danielson doing all the cool...arm work he always does and Low-Ki doing all the...flippy kicks he does to make a decent enough matchup. Danielson managed to get the victory following a Cattle Mutilation, which seems to have...all arrays of nothing for this one. Eh, it was good, who cares about the rest?

(83, 97, 90)

After the match, Damien 666 and Cassidy O'Reilly came down to the ring for the second round match in the Cruiserweight Title shot...

Styles: "These two managed to win the Open Invitational for people into this, allowing them a huge shot at getting the Global Cruiserweight Title. I still had them as my picks- I mean, how do you pick against a former WWE star and a former WCW star?"

Richter: "That may be, and they certainly have impressive pedigrees. However, they're going against teams who have experience together, and these two know that the other one's out for that title in the end- how will they be able to trust each other?" After they entered the ring, a "We Swear This Isn't 'Danger Zone', Please Don't Sue" theme hit as Air Paris and a new teammate (who my sources tell me is indy standout Jet Jaguar) came to the ring decked out like they stepped off the set of Top Gun and took the mic...

Paris: "Okay, rookie- you may have had what it took in flight school, but this is the big time, boy. We win this match, we get a shot at the Cruiserweight Title. Now, I've got the experience here, so I'll do most of the major work, and you just...watch my back, rook..."

Jaguar: "Oh, I'll...watch your back..."

Paris: "You better...watch my back. I hate, hate, HATE it when my back is left...unguarded. Too many people can come up from behind me..."

Jaguar: "Oh, don't worry. No one's getting to your behind unless they go through me..."

Paris: "I'm holding you to that, rook..." After this...dialogue..."Let's Get Busy" hit as the short bus came out carrying Brett Downard and Kenny Kennedy into the ring for their match...

Downard: "Golly gee, Kenny! This is an awesome win for us...we get to go out for the Global Cruiserweight Title...and we're gonna win, and people won't laugh at us, and people will see how bad they were for being mean to us when one of us holds the title. They'll realize that we're not different, we're SPECIAL! So, Damien...Cassidy...Paris...Jaguar...whoever the other two are, get your asses out there, so we can assimilate them!" Damien and O'Reilly had puzzled looks on their faces from that (while Paris and Jaguar got a small smile on their faces) as Brett passed the mic to Kenny...

Kennedy: "KENNEDAH!

...KENNEDAH!" After that, The Heatseekers came out with no real change in stuff (well, unless you count Bobby Quance trying to pull Austin Aries away from apparently asking some women in the front rows to bear his child or something...) as the match began...

The Heatseekers v. Damien 666 and Cassidy O'Reilly v. The Special Needs Kids v. The Flyboys (Air Paris/Jet Jaguar)

Well,this match was subpar. I had to expect it- considering two teams had never fought together before, one team has no heat,and one team has Brett Downard, I really didn't expect much. The teams had a lot of quick tags for the most part, trying to make each other seem like decent enough tag teams (a surprise, since they're all fighting for a spot to fight each other for a singles belt.) The split tag team was the first team to go, the victim of Cassidy O'Reilly going to the top rope to attack Brett Downard...only for Kenny Kennedy to hit O'Reilly with a Very Special Move for the three. After this, The Heatseekers jumped in and started to bring a huge attack to The Special Needs Kids, with the surprising difference on focusing on Kennedy instead of Downard. This helped out, as when Austin Aries was finally able to hit the 450 Splash on him for the win. After that, the Flyboys started the attack, as we finally got some semblance of an interesting matchup. The two teams put out a lot of high spots, finally seeming to mesh well. Eventually, Bobby Quance went to the outside to get a chair. Jet Jaguar proceeded to grab the chair, and proceeded to hit Quance with it. The referee saw this, only to give the DQ victory to the Heatseekers. After the match, The Heatseekers celebrated while Jet Jaguar proceeded to get chewed out by Air Paris...

Paris: "What was that about? We lost the match, rook..."

Jaguar: "I was just...watching your back..."

Paris: "You were...watching my back?"

Jaguar: "Oh yeah..."

Paris: "Good enough for me. Let's go shower, rook!"

Jaguar: "Excellent!" The two left the ring as the show went to break...

(33, 74, 53)

Alex Shelley v. Christopher Daniels

Well, we managed to get a great match to continue the good string of stuff on this card. These two proceeded to put a decent match, which was a good thing. Daniels took the advantage- a necessary evil, mostly because he only is the number one face in the company (surprisingly, still.) The two proceeded to put on a great match, really showing why Shelley deserves to be one of the top men in AWAMLW. It still is almost a little disappointing he'll likely never get his big shot and will likely be just the number 2 heel in the company. Shelley proceeded to get the victory with a new move (that the announcers called the Shellshock)- apparently that might be a sign they can expect bigger things from him in the federation...

(85, 84, 84)

Alex Shelley gains 2 points of overness because he's Alex-Sama and as such can do no wrong

Jared Steele and Too Cool d. The Redemption Crew

Well, this was a surprisingly good 6-man tag match. This was a bit surprising- I haven't been totally enamored of Kazarian and Sullivan's work together, and Horshu's usually pretty poor. Meanwhile, Steele and Too Cool seem like they go together like oil and water. The match, however, somehow clicked. A lot of funny scenes involving Too Cool trying to get Jared Steele to dance with them were quickly stopped by The Redemption Crew totally decimating Steele. Most of the match was like that, with The Redemption Crew focusing their attack on Jared Steele, beating him like a government mule for most of the match. Too Cool did some attacks to help Steele out, but The Redemption Crew kept the attack on Steele. Eventually, Too Cool managed to get some attacks and take Kazarian and Sullivan out of the match. Steele, being able to focus more, managed to hit a Done Deal on Horshu, allowing him to get the win. After the match, Steele called the members of Too Cool into the ring, as the three finally were able to dance through the rest of this.

(43, 77, 60)

After the match, Harry Potsmoker and Chance Beckett headed to the ring for their big match. Just then, Court H. Bauer headed to the top of the ramp and took the mic...

Bauer: "You know, I've had just about enough of this whole little game. Two times, Chance Beckett should have been the AWA World Champion right now, and two times, that little punk Potsmoker's luck has gotten him out of it. Well, tonight I've made it so that Potsmoker will NOT leave this arena with the AWA World Title. That's why, I'm making tonight's match a Hell in the Cell match, and I do NOT intend to let these two out until Chance Beckett is your new AWA Champion!" Just then, the cell was lowered as the bell rang...

Harry Potsmoker v. Chance Beckett

This was a pretty bad move. For some reason, I never expect two people of Beckett and Potsmoker's styles to make good matches out of a Hell in the Cell match. The two did manage to have the blue-chip style of match they usually had, going all-out with as much as you can for the whole of this. Eventually, the two proceeded to fight, climbing the inside of the cage and making some nice moves, mostly involving Senton drops onto the other from the inside of the cage. Eventually, Chance Beckett managed to open up the cage doors and started to use the fence as a weapon on Potsmoker. Finally, Potsmoker managed to run out of the ring and try to climb to the top...

Styles: "Look at that! Look at your champion, running from Chance Beckett like that! Is THIS what passes for a World Titleholder these days?" Beckett proceeded to wait on the outside. Just then, Potsmoker pointed out to the crowd, as Alex Shelley, Matt LaPlaca, Brandon Downard, and Chris Dobbs came down to the cell on ziplines and climbed onto the cell, then dropped onto Beckett. Kick, wham, Shellshock. Kick, Wham, Northern Lights Suplex through the Spanish Announcer's Table. Kick, wham, Facade Breaker. Kick, Wham, Pepto Plunge. Once the four Death Eaters finished with Chance Beckett, Potsmoker threw up his wOw signal, yelled out "T-GODD!", and hit The 900 (which the announcers called the Dementor's Kiss) on Beckett.

Styles: "HOW? HOW? HOW DOES HE ORGANIZE THESE THINGS?"

Richter: "Well, you have to remember: Harry Potsmoker is the most intelligent worker in AWAMLW; he has a plan for everything!"

Potsmoker and the four Death Eaters rolled Beckett into the ring, where Potsmoker got an easy cover for the victory. After the match, Potsmoker celebrated as backstage, Court H. Bauer was enraged...

Bauer: "NO! NO! NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN!" The show ended with the Death Eaters standing triumphant as Potsmoker celebrated in the center of the ring...

(99, 91, 96)

Chance Beckett gains 2 points overness for getting a LOT of street cred from the feud

Over: 75

After the match, I was ecstatic. An awesome match, a great show...it almost made me forget all my friends missed my birthday. Ah, it didn't matter- I mean, 22 is really not a memorable year. I proceeded to get through to the others. Alex needed a ride to the TNA show, and Jared asked if he could come in his attempt to try and find a safe place from these "Redemption Crew" guys he's been hounded by, so I knew I would have an interesting trip. It was kind of disappointing- I never get to travel as much with Jared these days, so it's fun.

Jared: "YES! Oh yeah- I finally managed to get one on those Redemption Crew punks! They'll have to think twice on putting one on me..."

Alex: "Yeah, I've been wondering about this shit they pull on you, man. I mean, why go after some indy wrestler?"

Jared: "I think my only question...what are they going to do now that they know I can beat them?" Just then, the scene shifted to the Redemption Crew HQ...

Leader: "Bring me the one who failed..." Just then, Frankie, Hawk, and Mike brought Horshu to them.

Leader: "I thought we expected a powerhouse from you, and you let the one we call Steele defeat you WITHOUT his friends?"

Horshu: "I'm new at this...I didn't know what he had. He's just...well, a decent fighter..."

Leader: "SILENCE! If you won't succeed as a man...we will just have to make you something more..." Frankie and Mike dragged him into a chamber marked "EXPERIMENTS." A horse audibly neighed as the scene ended...

Edited November 20, 2005 by Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster

[RavenBlack]

Alex Shelley gains 2 points of overness because he's Alex-Sama and as such can do no wrong

Edited November 20, 2005 by RavenBlack

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

( Super-Deformed [AND SUPER PISSED OFF] Reflecto Moment... )

OH, FUCK YOU.

FUCK YOU, Computer.

It was supposed to be normal. I was writing up the latest update of wOwMemo, when my computer froze up. This wouldn't be a problem- I usually save fairly often when writing. I wait it out, shut down, and restart. Then, I get the problem for this one.

Not only did the computer NOT save the show, but it also deleted everything in the wOwMemo writing file (basically, the next 2 days' worth of shows, which in wOwMemo terms is a whopping five separate TV shows eaten by the computer.)

Now, I could do this one, but seeing as I wouldn't have overness gains, match results, or pretty much anything, I'll summarize the next few days in each federation in this post...

"TEMPERMENTAL REFLECTO DAY" Sunday and Monday in the Wrestling World At-A-Glance (from the wOw Memorial Observer:)

AWAMLW At-A-Glance:

Monday night AWAMLW Underground

At the beginning of the show, highlights of Wild and Wicked were shown. Afterwards, Low-Ki, Bryan Danielson, Mirko Cro Cop, and Dustin Rhodes got into a huge argument over which of the four should be the AWA World Title's Number One Contender. Most of the four had convincing arguments that happened to try and sway Court H. Bauer to their side: Bryan Danielson due to his frequent ***** matches where he took Harry Potsmoker to the limit and as such feeling he was "due" to beat the World Champ as well as his beating Low-Ki at Wild and Wicked (which each got pops from the fans), Dustin Rhodes because of his managing to defeat Finale at Wild and Wicked, managing to put one over on one of the Death Eaters (which got a pop from the fans), and Mirko Cro Cop for being, in his words, the "real" reason Rhodes won the match with Finale (which got a smaller pop from the fans.) Bauer looked at all the reasons, then asked Low-Ki why he deserved the spot. Low-Ki was rendered speechless, but left Bauer's office with a cryptic "You'll see why I deserve it..."

After the match, the Death Eaters were hanging out backstage. Potsmoker was your typical heel champion during this, feeling that it didn't matter who won the title, he would make them all go "UP...IN...SMOKE." (You know, for a heel champion, he really spends a lot of time acting almost like a face...). After that, Finale and Alex Shelley each asked Potsmoker if THEY could get shots at his World Title. Potsmoker tried to diffuse the situation, saying it didn't matter who held the belt- as long as it was in Death Eater hands, they'd all party like rockstars each and every time. Finale and Shelley kept pressing the issue, with Potsmoker finally agreeing to "spar", in his words, with Finale in that night's main event. Finale was pleased by that as Shelley looked a little disappointed.

Following this, we had our obligatory squash matches. Paul Goldberg, er, Burchill and Mandy (geez, which scrap heap did AWAMLW pluck HER off of?) came in, squashed some indy guy (in this case, the lucky victim being Adam Pearce). Mandy tried to celebrate with Burchill, only to have Burchill keep trying to get her off of his case. Generic Tag Team jobber-Mania happened afterwards, as The Florida Brothers managed to get the win on X-Foundation by false finish DQ. Not a bad victory for them- if it wasn't for the fact that they ended up the real losers in the match: My sources told me that AWAMLW brass was not happy with how the match turned out, and ended up sending the Florida Brothers back down to developmental territory Minor League Wrestling (gee, who comes up with their names?) to work on their game while X-Foundation was allowed to stay on the AWAMLW roster.

The major Cruiserweight Title match happened, as THE GENERIC JOBBER TEAM NO ONE CARED ABOUT EXPLODED! with Austin Aries and Bobby Quance squaring off for the Global Cruiserweight Title. Aries got the victory in this match...which no one cared about, because the Cruiserweight division is seen by many as just the sign of who's going to be the next person to springboard into the main event scene (and most AWAMLW fans are dedicated to only caring about people when they get there, not on their way up.) Race Steele proved once again that someone in AWAMLW's top brass really does not like him, as Brandon Downard proceeded to be the latest Death Eater to squash him like a bug. (When you're getting squashed by members of a stable who's raison d'etre is that the people in AWAMLW have huge heat with them, that says you should probably look for a new line of work...)

After the match, we had our MAIN EVENT: Potsmoker v. Finale. I readied myself for a Finger Poke of DOOM!...and was close, at least in ways of match length. The two tried to put on a good match, until Low-Ki rushed out to the ring and laid waste to both people. Low-Ki took the mic and said "Am I worthy of the Number One Contender's Spot NOW, Court?" as Underground ended.

wOw At-A-Glance

wOw Primetime, Monday Night

You know, I still can never get a hold of this naming: Why does wOw name their Prime Time show wOw Flagship (at least viable, since it's really the flagship show for whacked Out wrestling), and yet call their late-night show wOw Primetime (despite it, you know, not being on in Prime Time?) Anyway, let's get to the show- an interesting example of what can happen with a mixture of walk-outs, contract disputes, and people getting stolen at ECW-levels.

The match started as many wOw shows will, with a women's match. Not a bad thing...unless you consider the fact that it involves the least well-known women on roster: Hand Maid Mully and Camarilla. This should have been easy to call: Between the fact that Hand Maid Mully is known backstage to have serious heat with Jocelyn Richter (the result of the two both using the Phoenix 720 DDT as their finisher, only with Hand Maid Mully arguably performing it much better than Richter does) and Camarilla basically being the new golden girl in whacked Out wrestling (due to a perfect storm of being in a red-hot stable, being insanely over with the core group of wOwrriors, and the reports that she got her job because one of the staff writers for wOw is smitten with her), it was a pretty obvious fact that Camarilla was going over here. Red Lotus then ran in and attacked her, which doesn't work because this feud cannot work: No one in their right mind in wOw truly believes Camarilla's in the same league as Red Lotus at this juncture.

After the break, Alex Shelley and Jimmy Jacobs were hanging out backstage (after the NWATNA show? SMELL THE SHOOTS!), when Raven Black (yet another of the "New Generation" of wOw female workers) came over to see them. Black mentioned to Shelley and Jacobs that she knew that their manager Becky Bayless had left the two (the result of good synergy between wOw and Australian federation Berner Street Wrestling having her get traded away), and her clients the Ding Dongs had decided to tour Japan and leave her there (no, it wasn't because they got pissed off at having to do the Ding Dongs gimmick and abruptly quit the company! We swear!) Raven Black asked if they'd be willing to have her manage them, which Shelley and Jacobs agreed to. This didn't really work in my opinion, due to how wOw fans tend to be really hip to these things. wOw fans know they've got a women's division that borders on American joshi, with a lot of hot girls. They also know Alex Shelley and Raven Black are brother and sister outside the ring. Hence, instead of going with someone who'd make Shelley look like a ladies' man and putting Raven Black with someone who could make her look like a hot star, they make Raven Black look worse for managing her brother and her friend while making Shelley look like a loser who needs his little sister to manage him. Bad move, wOw...

After this, the matches were pretty normal. Ricky Marvin did his "Is this 1999 still?" schtick, then proceeded to defeat Sir Quincy Penfold in a match that caused Stalker Ichikawa to run in, yet no run-in by Ironwood as the announcers mentioned it, saying he was still hurt by Lori Angel's turning on him to join Penfold. (Surprisingly, they didn't mention the whole "Ironwood got pissed at the angle, then walked out in a contract dispute" aspect of this.) Smackdown (with everything: Some clone of Rodney Mack, Jesus Aguilera, and a hypochondriac piece of eye candy) came out, did their spiel, and proceeded to beat the team of Kakihara and Naruse after C1M4 literally made his second turn in the span of 2 weeks alongside The Dungeon Master 3.5 to solidify The Guild as the face stable in that feud. Finally, Klub Kamikaze (could wOw BE any more racist with their Japanese stable's name?) introduced their new singles member as he went for the World Title and...OH MY GOD, IT'S KAWADA! HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET HIM? Excuse me while I mark out...for about a second, as immediately following this, they jobbed Kawada, one of the best workers in Japan right now...cleanly...to Jeff Hardy. Somewhere, every puro fan weeps. Following this, Alex Shelley came in and attacked Jeff Hardy to make his claim at the wOw World Title, using the claim that he was the last person besides Evans to hold the belt (somehow, I wonder why they dropped the feud with Evans. Oh yeah- that whole "Got pissed off at his paydays and walked out in a contract dispute" thing. Right...) as the show ended.

NWATNA: At A Glance

NWA: TNA- Sunday.

The show started with Vince Russo on-screen as I died a little inside. Apparently, Russo talked about how NWATNA was introducing a new championship to the mix- the new TNA.Com Title. Apparently, they found four competitors in NWATNA by fans' choice, and will have new matches each show for the belt between the champion and a worker decided by a poll on NWATNA.com after each show between workers under TNA contract. It seemed fairly interesting- a new spin on the Television Title, if you will.

After that, the matches started. Slim J, apparently one of TNA's top prospects (despite being the "thug" of a cheesy boy band gimmick) faced off with Shark Boy in what appeared to be a comedy X-Division match (if that exists.) Slim J got the win as Jocelyn Richter proceeded to distract Shark Boy. (How a pop idol can manage to make a half-man half-shark interested is beyond me...) Chris Hero and Colt Cabana then proceeded to get in the ring and have the MOTN for no apparent reason, with Chris Hero getting the win. After that, The Peacemakers proceeded to hit the ring and celebrated with their leader (despite, you know, Hero rarely getting matches), when The PsychoKillers hit the ring and demanded a match for the TNA X-Tag Titles to settle this ONCE AND FOR ALL as the two shared an evil laugh. What follows was the feud-ender with the least amount of heat possible. The only thing that got this crowd going was the end- of course, anyone would get heat when three top stars from one of your top rivals (in this case, AWA Global Cruiserweight Champion [as of Monday] Austin Aries, AWA East Coast Champion Jared Steele, and Chance Beckett fresh off of competing for the AWA World Title in the main event the night before) rush the ring and attack The Barbaric Berzerker, causing The PsychoKillers to get the win. After the match, the three kept attacking The Barbaric Berzerker. Kid Psycho saw the damage to his partner and headed to the ropes...then proceeded to hit The Barbaric Berzerker with a Springboard Dropkick, then a Shellshock as he headed to the other three. Psycho then explained what I was honestly waiting for him to do: "He's NOT A SHARK, HE'S A MAN...he's Alex Shelley..." or something like that. He explained that HE was the one who brought these three AWA stars into TNA, went down the three's accomplishments in AWAMLW, declared that they were the "Next Generation of NWATNA", and closed it out by saying "I have great accomplishments in both Minneapolis and Providence. I got some of my boys from Minneapolis here tonight, and in a couple weeks, you'll see some of my boys from Providence come to finish out our little group." (Once he said that, I have to say: Gee, I have (EVANS AND IRONWOOD) no idea (EVANS AND IRONWOOD) who he must be (EVANS AND IRONWOOD) talking about (EVANS AND IRONWOOD.) )

After that, we had pretty much compulsory matches. Jim Duggan proved that Jerry Lynn doesn't ALWAYS have amazing matches, which was made moreso by the fact that both were faces, yet Lynn won by Jay Matthews (a heel's) interference, and Duggan was saved by Jason Cross's (also a heel's) interference. Yeah...okay.

Following that, Teddy Hart came out and said that since he beat Bad Luck on XPlosion, that should make him number one contender to the X-Division title that Jayce Simmons held...only to have Simmons come out and defeat him cleanly...which led to Stevie Fabulous coming out and attacking. On the one hand, this works- Stevie Fabulous is one of the hottest new faces to hit NWATNA in a little while (and has possible "next Styles" comparisons coming out for him already), but on the other hand: The leader of Team Canada can't beat Jayce Simmons, so the third-in-command in Team Canada decided to go after him? Yeah, okay once more...

James Storm then came out and beat Jack Evans. This leads to a question- if this is a one-off thing, there's definite problems here. If it leads to a possible AMW-Hart Foundation 2K3 feud for the Tag Titles, then there ain't nothing wrong with this...

Tom Goddard beat Raven in a surprising match following Jocelyn Richter's interference. Before the matchup, Goddard headed into the ring with most of US-2 sans Slim J. Once Raven came to the ring, Goddard made a symbol, as Slim J changed Raven's theme music to some techno-dance song, put on blinking strobe lights, and the four US-2 members there started a mini-rave inside the ring. So...let me get this straight. The US-2 are the Rhode Island entrants in the America's X-Cup tournament...who became a boy band due to their success...despite one member who clearly emulates Eminem...and their leader being a '80s New Romantic new waver...with a manager who's a pop idol...who has been in a tense relationship with the US-2 leader...even though they're admittedly best friends outside the ring...and they're ravers. Excuse me...

Memo to TNA bookers:

THEY'RE A FUCKING BOY BAND GIMMICK! THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MORE CONVOLUTED THAN KANE'S HISTORY!

Thank you...

After that, Jason Cross defeated Chris Harris to retain the NWA World Title. The match did nothing except prove that Chris Harris is not main-event caliber. I don't know why this match came about, but I assume it involved Bob Ryder and "man things".

WWE At-A-Glance

WWE Heat, Sunday

As Heat started, The Coach and Eric Bischoff were in the ring. Bischoff said that this year, Raw and Smackdown would experiment with separate Royal Rumbles, and they were starting qualifiers that week for Raw and Smackdown. According to them, 10 qualifiers would take place on Raw, 10 on Smackdown, with tag teams fighting each other for one spot to get over the "Every Man For Himself" nature. In addition, 10 people got automatic byes into the Royal Rumble: The Soldier of the New Reich (despite the gimmick being shat on), "The Model" Kevin Martel, Booker T, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, John Cena, Maven, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, and Triple H- thus meaning the 8 most over workers on Raw wouldn't wrestle this week.

LA RESISTANCE EXPLODES! Rob Conway beat the other two members of La Resistance in a qualifying match. This one really could have went any way for it, and probably should have went with one of the, you know, "French" guys?

THE FBI EXPLODES! Nunzio beat Eric Mastrocola in an outcome basically everyone with a brain expected- I mean, one's a respected cruiserweight, the other is a newcomer who hasn't gotten over...

DIAMOND AND SWINGER EXPLODE! Simon Diamond qualifies for the Rumble. Dawn Marie was the Special Guest Referee for some unknown reason- presumably to add more ANGST to it.

THE NEW BREED EXPLODE AFTER ONE MATCH! Roderick Strong defeats Sedrick Strong to be official jobber fodder in the tournament. Similar story, as Melina Strong is the referee for the match...what's the WWE's malfunction? Do they hate tag teams?

Brandon Robinson decimates Orlando Jordan- not a bad thing, considering just how over Robinson was getting in WWE so far.

Scott Steiner destroys Steve Blackman to get into the tournament

Rey Mysterio Jr. defeats Collyer-3000 to get in the tournament

Jonah Edelman defeats Lance Storm by Shane Goddard interference. Technically, wouldn't this mean that Edelman has every right to demand an Intercontinental Title shot at the Rumble instead of a Rumble slot? Eh, the WWE doesn't like people to ask questions, so let's not...

YORK AND MATTHEWS EXPLODE! Joey Matthews defeats Christian York, and you guessed it...Alexis Laree's the special guest referee. Okay...

AJ Styles defeats Bam Bam Bigelow.

Monday Night RAW

Val Venis defeats X-Pac in a match to determine, well, I guess the Legend of the Rumble...

THE ANNOUNCE TEAM EXPLODES! "Good Ol' J.R." Ryder defeats Robbie Lawler following Jerry Lawler interference. After the match, Lawler challenges Robbie to a match at the Rumble: Commentary Position versus Job. Um...yeah...one of the biggest PPVs, and it has a MMA guy fighting an announcer...okay...

Alex Shane defeats John Heidenreich by Stacy Keibler interference. Yet another jobber is there, and apparently the rumors that Heidenreich is this "Soldier of the New Reich" are unfounded.

Matt Cross defeats Jerrelle Clark by Chavo Classic interference.

The "Fun Police" Billy Reil defeats Shane Goddard for some unknown reason following Lance Storm interference. Afterwards, Eric Bischoff FINALLY makes the Goddard/Storm match for the Royal Rumble, ending the speculation of the densest marks.

Rhyno SQUASHES Chase Stevens like a bug.

Sean O'Haire defeats Crowbar to the surprise of no one.

Mark Henry (*ahem*), The STRONGEST MAN! In the WORLD! defeats Dean Douglas

Bubba Ray Dudley defeats Buff Bagwell

Matt Hardy defeats Edward Elric by cheating. This didn't work as well- why not have this match at the Royal Rumble? The feud's capturing the fans' imagination, so it would work...

John Cena wins an 8-man over the top rope match with Booker T, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Maven, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, and Triple H. Surprisingly, Bischoff does not claim it's for the number 30 spot like they always do in these sorts of thing- a good thing, as it builds up more surprise for the luck of the draw.

Royal Rumble card:

Royal Rumble: Competitors- "Soldier of New Reich", Kevin Martel,Booker T, Chris Benoit,Chris Jericho,John Cena,Maven,Ric Flair,Shawn Michaels,Triple H,AJ Styles,Joey Matthews,Jonah Edelman,Rey Mysterio Jr,Scott Steiner,Brandon Robinson,Roderick Strong,Simon Diamond,Nunzio,Rob Conway,Matt Hardy,Bubba Ray Dudley,Mark Henry, The STRONGEST MAN! In the WORLD!,Rhyno,Sean O'Haire,J.R. Ryder,Alex Shane,Matt Cross,Billy Reil,Val Venis

(WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT) Shane Helms v. Rico

(INTERCONTINENTAL) Lance Storm v. Shane Goddard

(WORLD TAG TEAM) Metro v. Kyo Dai v. Human Behavior v. Mystery Team

(WOMEN'S) Sharmell Sullivan v. Victoria

Edward Elric v. Christian York

Bam Bam Bigelow and Dean Douglas v. Rene Dupree and Sylvan Grenier

Buff Bagwell v. Orlando Jordan

(Tag Team Turmoil): The Naturals v. Casey and Michaels v. Lethal and Wylde v. El Dandy and Shocker

[kale]

( Super-Deformed [AND SUPER PISSED OFF] Reflecto Moment... )

Memo to TNA bookers:

THEY'RE A FUCKING BOY BAND GIMMICK! THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MORE CONVOLUTED THAN KANE'S HISTORY!

Thank you...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

(We interrupt the regularly scheduled story for more...REAL LIFE STORIES OF TEAM wOw!)

It was another happy day at the home offices of wOw Memorial, when tragedy struck. At long last, Reflecto...was blocked.

Reflecto: "I cannot believe this! Whatever am I to do?" When this occurred, Reflecto decided to do the one thing he could do whenever he got blocked: Namely, dial up his assistant and blatantly steal his ideas like they were going out of style!

InterKnight: "What's up, Flec?"

Reflecto: "It's terrible, IK: I'm completely blocked. What should I do to help the ideas flow again?"

InterKnight: "Have you tried stealing ideas from me?"

Reflecto: "Um, that's what I'm trying to do right now..."

InterKnight: "Damn...I'm pretty blocked too. Ever try stealing ideas from other people and pulling them off as your own?"

Reflecto: "Nah- people would suspect something if they saw me do realistic, sane stuff."

InterKnight: "Hmmm...this is a pickle, all right. When this occurs, there is only one option for the truly great tortured genius artist to get ideas..."

Reflecto: "Do a wad of drugs and search for spirituality?"

InterKnight: "Yes. Now, as your attorney, I urge you to fry your brain on some of the brown acid." Reflecto proceeded to break into his special cigar box with a sign on it: "Careful. This is the Brown Acid. Only use when Completely Blocked" and took his fill of it. Afterwards, he proceeded to walk out of his building, only to come across InterKnight...

InterKnight: "So, are you properly in an altered state of conciousness to get you some spirituality?"

Reflecto: "You know it, Sgt. Pepper..." InterKnight led Reflecto into a large building with a sign that said "Starrnetics Meditation Clinic" as the two proceeded to enter the provocative poses that the leader was shilling <<BLATANT MALE FANSERVICE MOMENT>>

Leader: "Excellent. You are here because you are troubled, young tortured genius artist. But fear not. With Starrnetics, you will achieve inner peace. Now, look at our idol, and feel the blockage leave you. Now, when I ask you to picture something, you must picture it. In this way, you acheive the peace you need to become the world's finest tortured genius artist. Now...begin. Clear your head...now:

Picture Jeffree Star masturbating in a drop top Cadillac

Picture Jeffree Star tan and topless on a yacht

Picture Jeffree Star suckin on you like some candy

Picture Jeffree Star in your shirt and no panties

Picture Jeffree Star in the pool skinny dipping

Picture Jeffree Star in the 69 position

Picture Jeffree Star dancing on a stripper pole

Picture Jeffree Star in a Playboy centerfold..."

The two proceeded to picture these scenarios, finally finishing.

Leader: "Now...you both shall be at peace. Have a good day, and feel free to come back to us again for more help..." The two left the building...

Reflecto: "Honestly, InterKnight: Next time this happens, just send us to the Scientology building again..."

InterKnight: "Oh no- I told you I was keeping you away from that stuff after the last time...you spent all the money we made on wOwMemo distribution rights on copies of the 'Battlefield Earth' movie..."

Reflecto: "But that church is so trendy! Everyone knows trendy things will make you achieve inner peace better..."

InterKnight: "Oog...are you unblocked yet?"

Reflecto: "No, but I think I can manage some shows, or at least at-a-glance shows until I get time to write..." Reflecto proceeded to go back and start writing the shows. Fight on, Reflecto! With the power of youth, fight towards a better future...

InterKnight: "You know, narrator, you really should stop encouraging him...you're the reason he's this psycho..."

Oh, sorry...

TNA XPlosion

As the show started, The Peacemakers were backstage talking.

Hero: "Citizens...this is a peril that is greater than any that we, the Peacemakers have ever witnessed. First, those vile villains The PsychoKillers took our X-Division Tag Team Titles, and now...now the heroism of Kid Psycho has been replaced by vile views with that new threat, Generation Next!"

Rave Master: "Honestly, Berzerker...did you ever know he had tendencies to go to the dark side?"

Berzerker: "HUSS! HUSS! HUSS! HUSS! HUSS!"

Rave Master: "He says he didn't know anything about it..."

Hero: "This is terrible. How are we supposed to take on these two vile threats to ourselves?" Just then, Alex Shelley led the rest of Generation Next to the Peacemakers' hideout...

Shelley: "Ah yes, I knew these three wouldn't switch their position now that I smartened up...boys? Get them..." The GenNext members began to attack, with Shelley and Aries hitting a Double Suplex on Chris Hero, Steele hitting a Done Deal on Rave Master, and Beckett hitting a Chance Encounter on The Barbaric Berzerker. The four stood triumphant over the Peacemakers as the show began... (47)

Alex Shelley gains 1 point of overness, and he didn't even need to carry a video camera around to do it either!

Phil Poe (who my sources told me was a renamed version of former FLI star Phil Raven) d. Kurrgan in a "Gathering Invitational" Special Referee match when Raven attacked Kurrgan, gave Phil Poe the spot as the enforcer (52, 53, 52)

Alex Shelley d. Sonjay Dutt, Jonny Storm, Juventud Guerrera to win the TNA.Com Title (58, 82, 70)

The PsychoKillers d. Furious Youth to retain the TNA X-Tag Team Titles (48, 77, 62)

Tom Goddard d. The Amazing Red by Jocelyn Richter interference (84, 91, 87)

Over: 64

_______________________________________________________________________________

wOw Flagship

KENTA and Marufuji d. The Masked Chavs (Chav #1,2,3) (21, 61, 41)

Team OTAKU d. Fast and Furious (39, 84, 61)

After the break, Alex Shelley headed to the ring and took the mic...

Shelley: "Now, I know people should probably be wondering why I would attack Jeff Hardy last Monday on Flagship. To tell the truth, I would wonder myself. But the truth of the matter is, I have nothing against him. What I want is simple. I know that wOw fans are the smartest fans in professional wrestling today..." A "DUB-OH-DUB!" chant started up after that..."...and you people deserve the truth. Steve Evans took his ball and went home. He apparently thought that tearing it up for you, the fans of wOw, wasn't good enough anymore, so he decided to go see if some other federation would pick him up for cheaper, forgetting what federation truly made him great." The crowd booed at that news. "Well, this was a bad thing, but I realized something when this occurred- namely, if the number-one contender to the wOw World Title was this desperate to get the hell out of Dodge, there was a spot open to go up against Jeff Hardy and take the title. Evans may have taken himself out of the running, but I am NOT leaving whacked Out wrestling for greener pastures. I look at the places I was a big name at, and I can't see big news from any of them. IWA-Mid South? Just a second-rate speed bump that only served to get me in the ranks of bigger feds. AWAMLW? Sure, they are a big name, but all the true players know I would be nothing there if it wasn't for whacked Out wrestling. And Ring of Honor?" A huge chorus of boos and "ROH SUCKS!" chants came up there... "Well, WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO BE NOSTALGIC FOR SOME FEDERATION THAT SHITCANNED ME?" The crowd cheered at that one. "The facts don't lie people. whacked Out wrestling is the ONLY indy federation that matters in the world today. wOw picked me up from the scrap heap, gave me the opportunity to be something, and I took that ball and am just shy of running it into the end zone. So, Jeff- nothing against you, but as long as you have that belt around your waist, I'm going to gun for you, and eventually...you will see what too many others have found out in the last year- that Alex Shelley is the future of professional wrestling, and getting that title around my waist once more is a mere formality!" Just then, Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore rushed out of the backstage area and attacked Shelley viciously. Hardy hit a Twist of Fate on Shelley, then headed to the top rope and posed with the title as wOw went to break...

(66)

Jason Norcross d. Kangor (50,100,75)

After the break, The Guild came out to the ring sans C1M4 as Dungeon Master 3.5 took the mic...

DM 3.5: "Ladies and gentlemen, it is our sad duty to say that our Guild has lowered itself due to circumstances beyond our control. Apparently, a large computer company has managed to poach C1M4 by offering him a great job, and he has had to leave Rhode Island in the attempt to find a new guild somewhere on the West Coast. We wrote him out of our game last night, and we have lost a member to our ranks..." The crowd booed from the loss of C1M4 to The Guild, mostly due to how much of a major player he was becoming in wOw. "Now, this would normally be a death blow to The Guild- especially considering how dire our problems Klub Kamikaze gives us. However, The Guild always keeps some new tricks up our sleeves, and it is because of this, that we prepare to roll a Natural-20 Damage on Klub Kamikaze's men. For you see, before he left, C1M4 gave us the number of one of his Internet friends in the area, and told us to give him a call if we needed some help. That is why, The Guild is pleased to bring you, our newest member: 5UW4!" The wrestler more commonly known as SUWA headed out in an outfit similar to C1M4's (in what has to go down in wOw history as one of their cheapest ways to get out of damage control following the "C1M4 got pissed off at the l33t d00d gimmick he had to do and abruptly quit the company" that occurred during the week). Camarilla and 5UW4 headed to the ring as they waited for their opponents...

5UW4 gains 3 points overness for being enough of a company man to step into the gimmick someone else turned down

(53)

Before the match, I saw Alex head over to me...

Alex: "(You know 2 girls in this match. Who would you like to cheer for?)"

Red Lotus

Camarilla <---

Rising Son and Red Lotus d. 5UW4 and Camarilla- Rising Son pins Camarilla (37, 72, 54)

After the match, 5UW4 and Camarilla tried to fight back against their opponents...until Toshiaki Kawada rushed the ring and KNOCKED THEM THE FUCK OUT with two well-placed Kawada Kicks. Dungeon Master 3.5 headed into the ring and tried to help out his stablemates, which had the referee start a match as Dungeon Master 3.5 looked terrified...

Toshiaki Kawada d. Dungeon Master 3.5 (61, 87, 74)

After the whole thing:

Red Lotus: "Okay, okay, I get it. You don't like me. Fine then. Be that way. See if I care!" (LOVE-LOVE DECREASE)

Camarilla: "Oog...look at the pretty colors...hey...I know you...you're nice...*kiss*" (LOVE-LOVE...INCREASE?)

After the break, Jason Norcross headed into Robbie Richter's office...

Richter: "Ah...Jason Norcross, is it? What's going on? Are you managing to assimilate well to wOw?"

Norcross: "Yeah, yeah...listen. I've been having some problems. I think that, while I've been doing my thing here on wOw programming, I deserve something more. I was the biggest in-ring worker to jump from WEF, and I think I deserve to be in the thick of some title hunts."

Richter: "Well, um, I know you may have been allowed that in that other federation, but here in wOw, you have to earn your spot at the top. We don't just put people there..."

Norcross: "Oh, so you're saying..."

Richter: "That's right...NO WORLD TITLE SHOT FOR NORCROSS!" The "non-wOwrrior" fans chanted along with that...

Norcross: "Um, that's okay...I'll take any title shot you'll give me..."

Richter: "Any shot, eh? All right. I was trying to get some things set, so here goes. You know how there's an EWB All-Star Game coming up, right?"

Norcross: "Um, yeah..."

Richter: "Well, at that All-Star Game, it will be a first ever Inter-Promotional Title Match! You will go to the ring and represent WEF, and face off with Jared Steele for the wOw Transcontinental Title!"

Norcross: "Gee...thanks, Mr.Richter..." Norcross left the office as Richter looked pleased with himself...

(58)

After that, Badd Company were in the ring for their match with The Diamond Exchange. Suddenly, Jamie Koeppe came on the wOwTron...

Koeppe: "We're sorry, but the regularly scheduled matchup for tonight has been postponed due to some...inconveniences..." Just then, the camera panned to see Dave and Dean Powers laid out backstage. "However, we're happy to give you a pure beatdown by the hottest team in EWB today, the pure destruction force...SMACKDOWN!" Just then, Jesus Aguilera and Rodney Mack hit the ring and began to attack Tanaka and Diamond with a number of vicious assaults. The two left them in the ring as paramedics came to help Badd Company out of the ring as the show went to break...

(62)

Spanky d. Samoa Joe by Tom Goddard interference (81, 83, 82)

Per(ox)why?gen (Shannon Moore/Jeff Hardy) d. Jacobs and Shelley by Raven Black botched interference (63, 86, 74)

Over: 64

[RavenBlack]

Per(ox)why?gen (Shannon Moore/Jeff Hardy) d. Jacobs and Shelley by Raven Black botched interference (63, 86, 74)

Edited December 5, 2005 by RavenBlack

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Dead Reflecto Day:

Okay. Now, I know that people have been wondering why this diary stopped up. Basically, right as I was leaving for break, my computer got a small problem- the power supply kicked out. At least, that's what IT told me...as later checks when at home found out that it was the motherboard that was fried. In short, my computer officially died, and with it, wOw Memorial. Since I had no Internet access, I couldn't give the info of this out. Now, it is the new semester, and I can talk of my computer's death.

This is the facts here: The computer that had wOw Memorial on it is officially dead...

...however...

...anyone who knows me will know, though my computer died, I WILL NOT DIE.

The hard drive that was in my old computer was successfully salvaged and put in my new computer, and wOwMemo lives again. Expect a bigger update later, but for now...

wOw Memorial At-A-Glance:

AWAMLW Underground:

As the show started, The Flyboys came out, did their typical "gay fighter pilot" routine, and waited for their opponents. Just then, Japanese top team Kakihara and Naruse headed into the ring for the matchup.This seems like a blessing and a curse- Kakihara and Naruse have blossomed into a tag team to watch in Japan recently, and unlike most puro tag teams, their moderate success in wOw has made them one of the most likely Japanese tag teams to hit big in the United States without resorting to a stereotypical gimmick. This doesn't change the fact, however, that they have the charisma of gravel. Kakihara and Naruse got the victory here, mostly due to their new shinyness. It's not a problem- AWAMLW needs tag teams, right?

Kakihara and Naruse d. The Flyboys (61)

Following this match, Austin Lee (a guy I heard nothing about recently, but who my trusty copy of EWR tells me is apparently one of the best workers on the planet...) made his US debut here...only to get totally bitchslapped by Paul Goldberg,er, Burchill. Mandy was at ringside once again, which still makes no sense: I mean, Burchill keeps going after her, and his gimmick doesn't work with a valet...why add it? Oh...so Burchill can keep doing these menacey/broody things after the match...I get it...Burchill claims he doesn't want a valet...but his eyes say he longs for one (or they would if Burchill had any, you know, acting ability...)

Paul Burchill d. Austin Lee (62)

After the break, the nWo, er, Death Eaters came out to the ring en masse. Harry Potsmoker established his position as the Triple H of the AWA by going into a typical 20 MINUTE PROMO OF DOOM~!, mostly putting over that he was the best. Expectably, Low-Ki came out and proceeded to talk some smack as only Low-Ki can- you know, your typical "I took the lead on this, I'm gonna dominate you, blah blah blah, bling bling bling blah..." Potsmoker looked at his challenger, and told him that he would allow him a World Title shot...but only if he could go through the rest of the Death Eaters first, then threw Chris Dobbs (aka: Who? Oh yeah, the guy who emulated Shawn Michaels...he's still under contract?) to the wolves. Naturally, Low-Ki squashed Dobbs flat.

(89)

Low-Ki squashes Chris Dobbs (76)

After the match, we apparently had an East Coast title defense with Jared Steele, as the announcers hyped up the fact that Steele's status as the East Coast champion gives him the number one seed and makes him one of only two people to get automatic bids into the qualifiers for the AWA Super 8 tournament next month. (A look on AWAMLW.Com said the other important facts for the 2005 Super 8: that the winner of the Super 8 tournament will become the number one contender to the AWA World Title, that Cruiserweight champion Austin Aries gets the other automatic bid and number two seed, that 26 more qualifiers from around the globe will be chosen at random next week when AWAMLW Underground makes its move to prime-time, and that the qualifiers will consist of 6 Four-Way Elimination matches while Aries and Steele fight in singles matches with their respective titles on the line.) Until then, we get what the announcers billed as a warm-up, as Steele defends the East Coast title, arguably the most respected second-tier championship in wrestling right now, the title held by workers of the level of Harry Potsmoker, Alex Shelley, Homicide, and other top indy names...against the guy with the Timmy gimmick. WHAT THE FUCK? Thankfully, Steele won with relative ease, which helped save the title some face.

Jared Steele d. Kenny Kennedy (61)

Following that match, Potsmoker came out again as I don't understand the AWAMLW booking. I mean, he just showed up and said he was not going to fight a World Title match with Low-Ki (apparently, the top contender...), then at the end of the show, he comes out and fights Dustin Rhodes for the World Title? It doesn't seem like a heel move (Rhodes is a surprisingly over face in AWAMLW), it's not particularly ducking the opponent for a weak challenger (many could argue Rhodes's defeat of Finale made him arguably the number two contender), it's not fighting someone in his element (any indy fan would say that Low-Ki would be closer to Potsmoker's element than Dustin Rhodes is)...it's just either poor booking or Court H. Bauer hoping Dustin Rhodes would beat Potsmoker down. Anyway, the match was expectable: Potsmoker wins, blah blah, Low-Ki interferes. Okay...

Harry Potsmoker d. Dustin Rhodes (86)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

At-A-Glance: The WWE Royal Rumble, Raw Side.

Well, it's time once again for what has to be seen as either one of the smartest or dumbest moves the WWE is trying- specifically, the second part (Survivor Series being the first) of holding two separate PPVs for the "Big Four" shows on the card in different parts of the country. putting both on PPV, and selling huge 2-disk sets for each show. I still don't buy it that much- while it does help make it look more like Raw and Smackdown are two separate promotions, this is usually too much for WWE fans. (However, considering their number two rival had weekly PPVs for years now and their number 3 rival only recently switched to a monthly model, it might work...)

WWE Royal Rumble

The opening contest seemed like it was almost a primer on how the lower-card of Raw is different from Smackdown's. Raw has really worked to make their show better- adding a bigger presence of lightweight workers, going after a huge group all around the card, and most importantly: Adding a lot of gimmicks. This opening contest, a four-team Tag Team Turmoil for a shot at the Tag Titles, was resplendent with gimmickry, featuring detectives from a buddy movie (Lethal and Wylde), Mexican perverts (El Dandy and Shocker), time travellers (The New Breed), and...what are Casey and Michaels supposed to be, anyway? Anyway, we get a great match. All hot young talents! All top tag teams to watch! 8 people who deserve SO much better! Lethal and Wylde managed to draw number one, and defeated Casey and Michaels in a rather good match. El Dandy and Shocker proved to be no trouble for the two either despite Lita's attempts to distract the two, and they seemed to have it all set. Unfortunately, The New Breed capitalized on their weaknesses, as the two managed to hit the No Future (a nice Farewell by Sedrick Strong that Roderick Strong catches and turns into a massive backbreaker) for the victory. No problems there, though I was surprised they put them in after the two were in the Royal Rumble qualifiers.

The New Breed win a Four-Way match with: Casey and Michaels, Lethal and Wylde, El Dandy and Shocker (64)

Following this match, we entered what appeared to be the problem with expanding to two Royal Rumbles for the undercards, heading into Filler Central (FILLER CENTRAL!) This example was recent hiring for no apparent reason Buff Bagwell up against...let's see, who isn't on the card...oh, right! The basketball player guy! Jordan proceeded to come out with the woman who he raped into submission, as the match was...well, as forgettable as you would expect from an obvious filler match. Jordan got the win following Sullivan interference- eh, who cares.

Orlando Jordan d. Buff Bagwell (74)

After the break, De-Evolution came out as I was surprised at how far they fell. I had heard these two were in line for big ticket feuds with Triple H, but all of a sudden they're doing filler tag team work. I guess the weakness of one of the major members of the team's death really hurt this team. Anyway, the French guys came out, did their schtick, and we had a match. It was...forgettable, to say the least. De-Evolution seemed to be going through the motions, while La Resistance managed to show they are learning how to work a more comedic style. Eventually, Larry Zybysko tried to interfere for De-Evolution, but Rob Conway beat him down. In the ring, Sylvain and Rene hit the Bonsoir on Douglas as the two got the win.

VIDEO CLIP DOWNLOAD: After-effects from the match...

After the match, Bigelow saw how Zybysko was being beaten and headed out to attack Conway, finally giving him a Greetings from Asbury Park on the ramp. Sylvain Grenier watched the attack, only to have Dean Douglas give him a Franchiser. Dupree headed over to Conway and checked to see if he was all right, where Conway replied...

Conway: "Mon frere, I have been defeated by these vile pigs of dogs. You, Rene...you must take my spot in the Royal Rumble tonight. Make France proud!"

Dupree: "For the honor of France, I will do my best, Robert!"

La Resistance d. Bam Bam Bigelow and Dean Douglas. (77)

After the match, we got yet another surprising filler match, this one with surprisingly decent workers in it. Christian York has been decent whenever WWE's given him a singles match, and I will say this: For a 15-year-old, double-amputee, cartoon character, Edward Elric can go. This match, as a result, was a joy to watch, even if the face/face nature did distract fans a little bit. Matt Hardy headed to the announce table and watched the matchup, which eventually began to distract Elric. York capitalized on this and dropkicked Elric out as the announcers talked about his history with Matt Hardy (while Hardy seemed to blow off questions related to that.) When Elric left the ring, Hardy chose to strike, attacking Elric with an Iron Claw. Elric tried to power out, and eventually dropkicked Hardy onto the Spanish Announce Table, then alchemically caused the table to spontaneously shatter. Elric got back in the ring and York, still shocked at what he saw, was no match for a Transmutation Circle for the win.

Edward Elric d. Christian York (76)

After the match, we had our generic filler women's match- this time with Victoria facing Sharmell Sullivan for the Women's Title (they still have one? News to me...) It was what you would expect: Nothing to write home about, worst match on the card, blah blah, Victoria wins. Apparently, she cheated to win...which, according to JR, made her a "BAH-GAWD VILE JEZEBEL!" Apparently, it also means she's a heel. Either way, I'm loaded with indifference...

Victoria d. Sharmell Sullivan to win the Women's Title (71)

VIDEO CLIP DOWNLOAD: The Mystery Team Debuts

In the ring, Kyo Dai, Metro, and Human Behavior were getting prepared and waiting for their opponents.

JR: "This is going to be a big one, King- these three teams know each other very well, but have never seen the opponents before in their lives. That could make them a huge spoiler here!"

Lawler: "I know, JR! If you don't know who you're fighting, you're at a huge disadvantage..." Just then, the lights dimmed, and a voice was heard over the TitanTron...

"SUCK ME, BEAUTIFUL!" Just then, a generic rock theme hit as videos of two large guys hit as the Tron quickly put text on the screen...

"THE JOHNSONS"

Just then, Richard and Rod Johnson headed out to the ring to your basic "We're surprised that you made the jump from AWAMLW, but we still don't give a rat's ass about you" pop as the match began...

Well, this seems like overkill. I mean, you have Metro and Kyo Dai in a fairly poor tag team feud to begin with. No problem- it gives them something to do, at least. Then Human Behavior becomes the hottest team on Raw, and you have a decent three-way feud. That works well for a match...and then you go and spoil it all by bringing in a fourth team completely cold- especially when said team is considered the worst team in AWAMLW and have a crappy "human penis" gimmick to boot. To make matters worse, The Johnsons actually got a pinfall...and it was Human Behavior that had to make them look good. (All I can say is- knowing the history of those teams, The Shane Twins HAD to have saved Joey Hamm's life at least once for him to keep agreeing to make them look good...) However, Kyo Dai quickly stopped that, as the team managed to defeat Rod Johnson fairly easily. Once we were down to our original feud, the match seemed...a little less overbooked than before. However, one Roaring Elbow by Keiji Sakoda later, and Kyo Dai are your new tag team champions.

Kyo Dai II win a Four-Way Dance with: Metro, Human Behavior, and The Johnsons to win the Tag Team Titles (69)

After the match, we had what seems to be our "These Two Deserve Better" match, the Intercontinental Title match. I'm still surprised that Lance Storm isn't fighting for the World Title right now, especially while he's a heel. Meanwhile, Shane Goddard seemed to be getting the push he deserved...at least, for the beginning of the match. Then, the match became more of a problem. While this may have been MOTN, the ending was a little surprising. For no apparent reason, Val Venis came down to the ring, and everyone knows the unwritten rule of wrestling: If an unpushed face who has no connection to the face-in-peril or active connection to the heel comes down to the ring in a match for no good reason...chances are it's not the face he came to help out. This was the fact again, as Venis SHOCKINGLY turned on Goddard and helped Storm attack him. Lance Storm locked Goddard in the Single Leg Crab while Val Venis hit the Money Shot on Goddard's back to increase the pain, forcing Goddard to tap out. Personally, I think it didn't work. Storm, as I said, should be fighting for the World Title right now- the fans are into him as a heel, and he could definitely work there. Meanwhile, Shane Goddard's at a position where he's at a crossroads: He just came off losing a feud for the IC title with Rico, he lost the Four-Way Dance where Rico dropped the title, and now he was going into something with Storm. While Shane Goddard is in no way ready to fight with the big boys, he is certainly more than ready for an Intercontinental title reign. To have him keep coming up short to these people on the fast track to the main event is going to give him that image that he "can't win the big one", which will destroy the momentum he has with the fans.

Lance Storm d. Shane Goddard (86)

After the match, we had our illustrious, amazing, World Title matchup...Rico v. Shane Helms. Yeah, I'm having trouble selling that too. This is one of the weaknesses of WWE right now- they keep pushing these unheralded workers and expect everyone to take them seriously once they get behind them, and that's a problem. Meanwhile, talented main eventers who never got their shot are languishing when they could easily be top stars here. I still don't understand what the WWE's plan is, except to get new guys up there. I could see it somehow- Rico was over as IC champion and Shane Helms added a lot of new fans in his run, but...why now? Anyway, the match: Pretty much what you expected. Helms put on a lot of nice moves, Rico countered with nice martial arts, Helms made the babyface comeback. Helms then went for the Vertibreaker, but Miss Jackie interfered and got sent back to the dressing room. This distraction to the ref allowed Metro to come in from the stands and hit an Extreme Makeover on Helms, allowing Rico to make the easy cover to get the win and the World Title.

Yes, that's right.

RICO is your World Heavyweight Champion.

Okay...who brought the bookers the crack pipe?

Rico d. Shane Helms to win the World Heavyweight Title (90)

It was about this time that a power outage hit before the Royal Rumble, but I found these video clips on the Net...just check them...

VIDEO CLIP DOWNLOAD: Number 11 entry

In the ring, Roderick Strong, Alex Shane, and Jonah Edelman were battling it out. Edelman and Strong decided to team up to take out Shane in the ring. However, Shane held onto the top rope, and sent Edelman and Strong over the rope to the floor while putting him on the apron. However, Edelman and Strong got a measure of revenge, grabbing hold of Shane's legs and pulling him off before he could step in, eliminating everyone in the ring. Lilian Garcia then took a mic...

Garcia: "Ladies and gentlemen, due to a rule the WWE never had to use before in the Royal Rumble- since there is no one in the ring at this time, the next entry will enter immediately!" The countdown from 10 occurred, as finally the screen went black and white. A swastika appeared on-screen around stock footage culled from old WWII newsreels and Nazi propaganda films while harsh hardcore instrumental music blared. People were shocked by the video, until the song finally had some words appear in it...

"HEIL SABIN!"

Immediately, the fans were shocked as Chris Sabin started goosestepping his way into the ring, then made a Nazi salute as he entered the ring. A mixture of massive boos for the gimmick and a surprising small scattering of pops from the people who were fans of his work in NWATNA occurred, as he played to the crowds until the next entry came in.

VIDEO CLIP DOWNLOAD: Number 30 entry

In the ring, Mark Henry, the STRONGEST MAN! In the WORLD!, Rene Dupree, Triple H, Matt Hardy, Joey Matthews, and Chris Jericho were still fighting it out in the ring. Just then, a pulsing techno beat occurred as 3 women headed to the top of the ramp with a camera and an ionizer. Eventually, Kevin Martel headed out to the ring as one of the women took his jacket, one snapped pictures of him as he walked down as if on a catwalk, and one sprayed each of the corners from the ionizer. Martel headed into the ring and started blowing kisses to the crowd...

VIDEO CLIP DOWNLOAD: The Final Four

Well, we have our final four: Mark Henry, Rene Dupree, Kevin Martel...and Triple H. Three guesses who's going to win... Martel proceeded to talk to Rene Dupree a little bit, pointing towards Mark Henry. Dupree nodded as Martel turned to charge at him...only to have Dupree stay where he was and wave "bye-bye" to Martel as Henry easily deadlifted Martel and Gorilla Press Slammed him to the outside. Henry and Dupree gave each other a thumbs up as they each went after Triple H. Triple H focused his attack on Mark Henry, beating him down a bit before finally mustering up all of his strength to send the 400 pounder over the top rope. Triple H sold the attack by putting his arms on the top rope and trying to rest a bit...only to not see Rene Dupree, who quickly dropkicked him over the top rope.

Yes, that's right.

The Wrestlemania 21 main event, assuming that no title changes occur, will be Rico v. Rene Dupree.

I'm BURSTING with anticipation.

2005 Raw Royal Rumble Winner: Rene Dupree (69)

Final: This has to be a joke. I can buy Rico as World Champ- his IC title reign was excellent, he's coming off a good feud with Shane Goddard, and he's stepped up his game since becoming less of a gay guy and more of a generic metrosexual. But...Rene Dupree as the Royal Rumble winner? WHAT THE FUCK? Let's review, here:

- He had almost no momentum going into the Rumble, as La Resistance had generated into comedic jobbers.

-He wasn't particularly over: While his "zany Frenchman" gimmick made me chuckle quite a few times, it was really lost in the shuffle over recent months.

-He wasn't the next big singles star in the Rumble: He was a tag specialist, he was firmly in the midcard, and didn't seem that poised to break out any time soon.

There seems to be no real reason to go with this except to shock people. I mean, he's not particularly over, he's not particularly talented (or at least isn't someone everyone respects the skill of), and was pretty much just there. If they wanted to make Grenier and Conway the premiere La Resistance tag team, they could have just as easily turned Dupree again and made them that way. When I think of it, the only possible way I could even find a remote reason to make it so that Rene Dupree is going to Wrestlemania is to go into total "conspiracy theory" mode- in this case: "The WWE is trying to destroy their competitors, and they're so desperate to throw a wedge into them that Vince is willing to push Dupree to Wrestlemania solely because he's only 20 years old, and as such making Rene Dupree a World Champion would mean that AWAMLW, NWATNA, and wOw could no longer push the 22-year-old Tom Goddard as the 'Youngest World Champion in History'"...but that can't possibly be the reason...right?

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That night, I headed to the TNA show with a little bit of nervousness. Despite my wrestling, it almost felt like I hadn't worked a true show in about a week. I headed off into the building feeling slightly excited- at least from what I heard last time I was here. It was there that I saw Jocelyn again...but this time, I had managed to see Robbie with her. I was surprised by this turn of events- Robbie had quit the company months ago.

"So, why are you here, Robbie? Are you trying to resign with TNA? I don't know if it'd work, because I like the dynamic US-2 has with Jocelyn right now..."

Robbie: "Oh yeah, sure...anyway, Tommy, I came because of you. They told me about what was going to start tonight, and well, I had to make an appearance to see it all. You understand, right?"

"Of course. It's great you could be here for this."

Robbie: "No problems. To be fair, a little of it was finalizing the match list for the big show Saturday: Our Flagship will be a double-duty show as the first TNA Live Special, so we need to make sure it works."

"You're serious?"

Robbie: "Well, it's just a name: Mostly wOw guys will be on the show as normal, but I am going to be putting as many TNA guys who do double duty for us on, and TNA's already allowed us to use Jason Cross on the show so he could defend his NWA Title there..."

"Yeah, I kind of heard about that..." I rolled my eyes a little bit as Robbie continued...

Robbie: "So, to make matters short- I had to be here, so I came to wish you luck tonight."

"Come on- this is scripted, right? Luck doesn't play a part in this..."

Robbie: "Touche...well, anyway, do your thing out there. I'll talk to you after the show. Come on, Jocelyn- let's let Tom get ready..."

Jocelyn: "Um, daddy...I'm his manager, remember?"

Robbie: "That doesn't mean you have to be around him 24/7...come on, humor your old man, huh?"

Jocelyn: "Oh, all right..." I saw Jocelyn head over to go with Robbie, looking back towards me as I continued getting ready. I saw a few familiar faces head out to the ring as the show started up. I tried to brace myself as I finished and headed into the office to see the card...

Jerry: "Ah, Tom. Here to see the wah wah wah?"

"Yeah, but just making sure...wah wah wah starts now?"

Vince: "Come on...we said wah wah wah, we told you wah wah wah tonight...just wah wah wah."

"Okay...I just wanted to see wah wah wah first-hand." I left the office to hear that the show was starting and headed over to watch...

NWATNA PPV:

Tenay: "Welcome to the show, people! I am Mike Tenay, and here with me is Don West here for another great Sunday of NWATNA action. Now Don, the big news tonight has to be the development that this Saturday, NWATNA will be getting their first shot on broadcast TV, as well as their first true TNA touring show!"

West: "THAT'S RIGHT, TENAHY! THIS SATURDAY, TNA WILL BE HAVIN' A LIVE SPESHAL ON CAHMEDY CEHNTRAL, AS WELL AS THE FIRST SHOW TNA WILL HAVE AWTSIDE THE ASHYLUM! PRAWVIDENCE, ROE DYLEND, GET READY- THIS SAHTURDAY, YOU GET TNA ACTION COMING LIVE TO YOU FROM THE DUNKIN' DONUTS CENTER IN A DUAL-PROMOTED SHOW WITH WHACKED AWT WRESTLIN'! I CAN'T WAIT, TENAHY!"

Tenay: "That's right! TNA's Saturday Night Special- live on Comedy Central Saturday night. However, the biggest story- tonight, we have two huge events. First off, the final battle between Jerry Lynn and NWA World Champion Jason Cross. The two can't rest, however, because also tonight, there will be a 20 Man Gauntlet for The Gold, TNA-rules Battle Royal, and the winner of that will go to Saturday Night Special and get a shot at whoever's the champion after tonight!"

West: "YOU KNOW EVERY WRESTLA IN THE BAHCK WOULD LOVE THAT AWHPPUHTUNITY, TENAY!"

Tenay: "Let's get to the action!"

Just then, GenNext's music hit as Alex Shelley was flanked by his allies as he carried the TNA.Com Title down to the ring. Shelley then took the mic:

Shelley: "Thank you, thank you. Now, I know every one of you has to see the great honor this is. I have proven to Pay-Per-View crowds in two federations that I am the hottest prospect in wrestling, I proved to fans all over the country that same effect, and now, I know I will get to prove that to the fans on network TV this Saturday night. Now, the facts are clear that WE are the new power in TNA. You have four of those people in Minneapolis's best workers, and, well, we've got some friends ready to help us out. In addition, you have me- the only champion who got where they are because like me or hate me, those fans on the Internet know that Alex Shelley is the best damn worker on the planet today. This leads to the question- who did you people choose to fight me tonight?" Just then, The Peacemakers' theme hit as Chris Hero came down to the ring. Shelley looked shocked as Hero took the mic...

Hero: "Evil-doer...your reign of tyranny ends here! Now, I know you were once a friend of ours. You used to fight for the forces of good, Mister Shelley. However, we cannot turn a blind eye to your evil any longer. For you see...the fans voted one of the Peacemakers as your opponent..." Shelley looked shocked. "Now, don't worry...the fans did not vote me- the leader of this group, to give you the true justice only I can deliver." Shelley looked a little calmer... "...and they didn't vote in the assistant to this group, the noble Rave Master..." Shelley looked shocked... "...and no, they didn't even vote in the partner you so heinously turned your back on, The Barbaric Berzerker. No...these fans voted in the new member of The Peacemakers...the man who we, in our never-ending pursuit to mete out justice to the world, chose to replace you. Here now, I give you- your opponent, and the newest member of The Peacemakers...fighting crime out of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania...he is... 'THE DARKHERO' BRANDON DOWNARD!" Just then, Brandon Downard came down to the ring in a superhero outfit and began assaulting Alex Shelley!

Tenay: "This is a huge coup for The Peacemakers! Apparently, Alex Shelley's not the only one who can make some calls to Minneapolis, as Brandon Downard has gained a good cult following for our competitors!"

Well, this was a bit of a letdown. Both of these wrestlers are good, no doubt, but their styles clash so much. Shelley's technical wizardry and Downard's brawling skill just didn't mesh in this match. That's one of the surprises of the TNA.Com title. Most of the time it leads to dream matches, but the matches never end up being great as a result, instead just being thrown together. This match had a bit of a story to it, but most of it involved the outside work in the GenNext/Peacemakers feud. Finally, the referee sent everyone back to the ring. Once this occurred, Brandon Downard took the advantage, managing to hit a Facade Breaker (which the TNA announcers called the "Downfall") on Shelley. Shelley then rolled out of the ring and took a mic...

Shelley: "Not bad...so, the Peacemakers got someone from Minneapolis, huh? Well, in case you forgot- I told you all my friends from there before, and said I had some friends from Providence coming to back us up, and well...they're here tonight!" Just then, Steve Evans and Ironwood rushed from the stands. Ironwood hit a Britain Breaker on Downard before Evans loaded him up and hit a Slight Remix (Top-Rope Ace Crusher) on Downard. Shelley then headed back in the ring and covered Downard, getting the victory. After the match, Shelley celebrated with them and took the mic...

Shelley: "I know you recognize this guy- he was responsible for me getting here. In case you forgot, this is my boy Steve Evans. With him- you may not recognize this guy: The best wrestler Great Britain has offered the world since The Dynamite Kid, Shiori Coybito! Together, they're the last two pieces in the puzzle to make Generation Next the future in TNA!"

Alex Shelley d. Brandon Downard to retain the TNA.Com title (64)

After the break, Jacques Rougeau Jr. led Hart Foundation 2K3 to the ring, carrying their NWA Tag Team Titles. The two waited for their opponents. Just then, Super Dragon's theme hit as two wrestlers came out in Super Dragon outfits (one of whom being the real one, the other one apparently being ROH star Izzy) as the match started. The match was pretty much what you would expect. Hart Foundation 2K3 proceeded to destroy the two, which is natural: I mean, the HF2K3 are apparently a team TNA's planning to build around, while the others are still "they're employed by TNA?"-level workers. Nothing major here...

Hart Foundation 2K3 d. Double Dragon to retain NWA Tag Team Titles (75)

After this Tag Title match, we get our first "WTF?"-booking of the night, as the West Hollywood Blondes came to the ring for a match against La Raza. Now, I know that this Super Dragon/Izzy team are low, but when the NWA Tag Team champions are below a random tag team match, that says something about the division. It's not to say the match was bad- in fact, it came out a little better than the previous match. It's just that, well...La Raza are still new and nowhere near the tag titles, and the same story can be said for the West Hollywood Blondes. That's just poor match placement- moreso since the apparent HF2K3/America's Most Wanted feud means it's effectively a meaningless match. The West Hollywood Blondes won following Lenny Lane pinning Super Crazy- no big deal...

West Hollywood Blondes d. La Raza (77)

VIDEO CLIP DOWNLOAD:

After the break, Precious Lucy was in back reveling in her team's defense of the tag titles. Eventually, she came across Jocelyn Richter, who was there rallying the US-2...

Richter: "Okay, guys: Tonight's the big one. First, Jayce's going to go out there and keep the X-Title around his sexy, sexy waist, and then after that, we're going out for the prime-time stuff in the Battle Royal tonight. If TNA's coming to our hood, we know there's just GOT to be a member of the US-2 in that World Title match Saturday. Am I right?" The others cheered as Precious Lucy tapped her on the shoulder...

Lucy: "Oh, I see you're trying to pump the forces up? I guess you'll need it...I mean, the strong men from Team Canada DID prove how lacking your US-2 boys were in the ring..."

Richter: "Oh, laugh it up. You may have got the Tag Titles, but we still have the X-Division champion, and by this time next week, the NWA World Title will be rocked by a US-2 boy..."

Lucy: "Oh, really? Well, I'll have you know that Team Canada's also in the battle royal, and I'm certain one of our great workers will manage to win not only the Battle Royal, but also bring the NWA World Title back to Canada!"

Richter: "Keep dreaming...the US-2 have so much more skill than those Canadian Clods that it's not even funny..."

Lucy: "Well, I will grant your men one thing...they apparently get MUCH better 'training benefits' than Team Canada does..." Richter started blushing at that...

Richter: "Why...um...whatever do you mean?"

Lucy: "Oh, nothing particular...just that...'You asked for it...*clap, clap, clapclapclap...*" Just then, Tom Goddard looked furious as Jay Matthews and Slim J tried to hold him down...

Richter: "Don't worry...I can handle this bitch myself..." Richter then proceeded to slap the taste out of Precious Lucy as the two began a CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT! (copyright Joey Styles), brawling through the backstage area...

(65)

After the break, Jayce Simmons came out to the ring alone surprisingly (though likely to build up the match later and the angle that just occurred.) This did begin to put him at a disadvantage, as CarWreck then proceeded to come to the ring with the rest of The Gathering for his shot at the X-Division Title. Tenay put over the fact that Jayce Simmons was trained by CarWreck's longtime tag team partner on the indies in Joey Hamm, which did surprise me just a bit. As you would expect, the match was decent to watch. Simmons really came into his own in recent months, really proving he's more than just a tag team specialist and breaking out in the X-Division in a big way. CarWreck made him look good, and a lot of interference by Colt Cabana and Chris Hamrick added to this. Eventually, the referee sent the two back to the dressing room. CarWreck tried to argue on this, which allowed Simmons to hit a Missile Dropkick to CarWreck's back, then roll him over for the victory.

Jayce Simmons d. CarWreck to retain TNA X-Title (72)

Following this match, we had another rest matchup, as John Walters (oh, excuse me, the UNDEFEATED John Walters) took on Kidd Video. Let's see...guy with a comedy gimmick...undefeated generic guy: Yeah, this was a Walters squash. Nothing to see here, folks...

John Walters d. Kidd Video (66)

After the match, the battle royal began. However, this was a bit of a problem, as I had been called off to do something for most of the battle royal, and couldn't see the entrances (luckily, from what I heard, they did full entrances here, which bought me some time) up to the end of the match. If anyone saw the brunt of it, please drop us a line to tell us what you thought. I got in at the final four position: The Amazing Red, Raven, Tom Goddard, and Jeff Jarrett. This seemed fairly decent- two X-Division guys, two heavyweights, four of the most over workers in the promotion. Goddard and Red began attacking each other while Raven and Jarrett did the same. Red managed to take the advantage on Goddard, then went up to the top rope. However, Jayce Simmons took a piece out of his dance routine and hit a low blow on Red, allowing Tom Goddard to head to the top turnbuckle and hit a Dropsault on Red, sending him careening off the top turnbuckle and down to the floor. Meanwhile, Raven and Jarrett brawled relentlessly, until finally Raven got Jarrett in a Hangman. Raven went for the kill, but Jarrett was able to twist it so that Raven went flying, then got himself free as we had the final matchup.

(70)

Video Clip Download:

Tenay: "We're down to the final two, and now it's going into a standard matchup. Don, you had to expect Jeff Jarrett would be here, but I'm personally surprised at his opponent for the opportunity to take on Jason Cross- Tom Goddard of the US-2 managed to last this long in a surprising nature!"

West: "Well, I Awlwaysh knew Tawm Gawddahd was tahlentid, Tenahy, and this is awlmosht like his comin'-awt pawty here in TNA!"

Battle Royal Final: Jeff Jarrett v. Tom Goddard

Well, this is a surprisingly hot matchup. The fans still are in the honeymoon level with Jarrett as a face (adding some heat for him), and the fans' respect of Goddard mixed with the US-2 members putting on a fairly elaborate dance routine outside the ring helped out his side. The two put on a decent enough show in the ring, with each one managing to look fairly good: Jarrett with his old-school style of wrestling, Goddard with his dazzling new-school form. Jarrett proceeded to take the advantage, with Goddard selling his moves like death. Jarrett kept the advantage going throughout the matchup for this one. Eventually, Jarrett went for the kill, and proceeded to search under the ropes for the guitar. Jarrett found one, went back to the top rope, and made a huge swing at Goddard's head...only to discover upon impact that the guitar wasn't in his hands anymore, and Goddard merely got off with a Double Axe Handle. Jarrett turned around...only to see Jocelyn Richter holding the guitar, then cracking Jarrett over the head with it. Goddard proceeded to get under Jarrett and roll him up while he went down, getting an easy three for the victory.

Tenay: "I do not believe this! Goddard wins! Tom Goddard is going to get a date with the NWA Champion, whoever that may be, this Saturday on the Saturday Night Special!"

West: "THIS IS A HUGE AWHPPUHTUNITY FAW TAWM GAWDDAHD, TENAH! AWHPPUHTUNITY!" After the match, the US-2 swarmed the ring and hit a huge dance routine as the show went to break...

(84)

After the break, we had the main event- the culmination of this feud between Jerry Lynn and Jason Cross. It was almost surprising- it actually proved that TNA could manage to make anyone a champion by Jason Cross managing to be believable as NWA champ. A video aired on the screen before the beginning of the matchup. The match was...well, pretty much the same as most Lynn/Cross matches in it. To tell the truth, it lost just a little bit from being after the battle royal. It's a shame- these two brought it in the ring, putting on a good show there (and unlike the rumors many had said, I can safely say- this wasn't a Jerry Lynn carry job.) The only weakness is that the match seemed to be the same way most matches during this Jason Cross Jesus push have been- namely, having the match story be "build slowly up to our latest test of what the next coolest way we can build into Cross hitting the Crossfire can be." This match was similar to that, with the current one for this view being the two fighting into the crowd, Lynn getting laid out by some plant around the Heel Section, then Cross heading to the upper level and hitting the Crossfire and then bringing him back to the ring to get the pin. Yeah...it was what it was.

Jason Cross d. Jerry Lynn to retain the NWA World Title. (82)

After that match, they had a short intermission, finishing with the tapings for XPlosion.

Taped XPlosion results:

GenerationNext (Chance Beckett/Jared Steele) d. Brandon K and Corrupted Youth (57)

Phil Poe d. Nigel McGuinness (57)

After the break, the fans at the arena saw a video tape to be played during the show...

Richter: "Hello, NWATNA fans! Welcome to a huge special- TNA Cribs. I am your host, YOUR TNA Idol, Jocelyn Richter, and I'm here with the tape of your next NWA World Champion, the leader of the US-2: Tom Goddard!" Just then, the scene hit to a view of a fairly nice, well-decorated apartment.

Goddard: "Welcome, TNA fans, to the home of the next great champion...the ELECTRIC JESUS, myself. As you can see, this is a great place I have here. Only the finest things come into this residence- I love to surround myself with truly beautiful things. Only the most beautiful objects come in here, only the most beautiful people are allowed to join me...this is a place of true beauty. And when I look at my wardrobe, I get a shudder. You see- I have only had the finest things since coming to TNA. It all peaked eventually by me rising to the top- by taking my position- a position none have come close to, and becoming the youngest man to ever hold a World Title. This is something that no man born of woman will ever be able to match- to come out of nowhere, to become beloved in two major federations, to make it to the top of the mountain where every worker wishes they could make it to- that is an honor that any man wishes to have. When you add to that the fact that I was able to celebrate it when I was barely old enough to drink, that makes it even more of a feather in my cap." Goddard went to his closet and pulled out the AWA World Title, then put it around his waist."Yes, this was one big prize- but there was still a goal left for any person. AWA, NWA, WCW, WWE, ECW: People have held gold in multiples of those federations. But if you look throughout the modern era, there has only been one man to do what until this millennium, people thought impossible: To hold the top prize of two major federations at once. At the Saturday Night Special- I get a chance to do what people would think impossible until now: to be the AWA and NWA World Champion simultaneously, to do something no one has ever done without purchases by one federation...and to do it all at the tender age of 22." A closeup of Goddard's face was shown. "Jason Cross, remember these words. On that fateful night in November- it wasn't some unproven worker who pulled off an upset to become AWA champion- it was a worker who was the most popular and most hated worker in the company, a worker who was considered to be the best worker on the planet by the fans of the federation, a worker who was everyone's view as the best man to hold the AWA World Title...and a worker who just happened to only be 21 years old at the time. On Saturday night, you and the rest of TNA are going to learn...when you've got the talent, Age is nothing but a number."

(96)

Alex Shelley d. Caprice Coleman to retain the TNA.Com title (64)

Jason Cross and Traci d. Tom Goddard and Jocelyn Richter- Cross pins Richter (78)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That night, I went into the arena knowing that everything would change forever. I had raw excitement pulsing through my atoms, a worry that things would not go as planned...and for some reason, a song in my heart as I kept going...

"OH YEAH...I'M GOING THERE: THE whacked Out wrestling Memorial MUSICAL EDITION!"

"In a business lined with pressure,

in a culture that breeds itself to death

I fight through

knowing that the prize is worth the struggle within

When the pain is bound to become too much

and the view from the top makes anyone lose their breath

We go on

and know inside success will be the sweetest sin

And through all of the blood and the sweat and the tears,

and the knowledge most of us will not make it to 40 years...

...then that means..."

"20 years to become a legend,

to make yourself immortal evermore

and be a man remembered for all time

20 years to reach the pinnacles

for to misuse what we have inside

then that would be one of the largest crimes..." I headed into the backstage area, naturally finding the entire dressing room bursting into song because I had done so...

BG James: "SHE'S A VERY KINKY GIRL...THE KIND YOU DON'T TAKE HOME TO MOTHER..."

"Um, Mr.James, that's not the song we're singing..." Just then, I saw James head onto the couch and try to put his boots on, then beat them on the couch afterwards...

James: "FUCK YO' COUCH <<NICEGUY>>! BUY ANOTHER ONE YA RICH MOTHERFUCKER! FUCK YO' COUCH! DARKNESSES! DARKNESSES! DARKNESSES!" Just then, I saw two of the staff writers head over to BG...

Staff Writer (IK): "What is the problem here? Mr...Dogg...please get yourself together for the show..."

James: "But...but...cocaine's a hell of a drug..."

Staff Writer (Reflecto): "*sigh* Get him over to Jerry...have him book the rehab stint...dammit..."

Reflecto: "2 hours to go into legend...

To get a shot booking for the number-two

How'd this have to happen to us now

have to change our booking and go on a different cue..."

"At least we have a bunch of dual ones

call someone up and have them go all-out

TNA might be mad someone the fans know's not there

but if the guy's on blow, then it's better if they am pout..."

IK: "Do not worry, my longtime teammate,

for this show will definitely turn out okay

TNA and wOw will bring the great action,

but making it a musical? That move is SOOOOOOOOOOO gay..."

Reflecto: "I knew this move would cause me to possibly have a huge fight,

but still, I didn't hear you complaining ALL LAST NIGHT..." Just then, Raven Black, Lori Angel, and Camarilla headed over with cameras and started taking pictures of the two...

IK: "Um...we're brothers...?" I headed through the backstage area only to find HeartBurnKid rushing over to me!

Chris: "YES! I'm on the card tonight!

20 years to become a legend,

but for too long my star seems to have stalled...

and I was left too long to be one of the crowd

but now I get the chance of a lifetime,

a tryout match for TNA in the wings tonight

I've been waiting so long for this I feel like shouting out loud!" HBK headed into a breakdance number assisted by a couple of nameless development guys (and for some reason, a few of the space aliens Jared told me he had to fight once...) as I continued on my way through...

"20 years to go into legend

to wait for the moment for the rise of all the boys from Team wOw

tonight's the night we go into stardom

spots in the number-two up for grabs if they ask us to take a bow..." I kept going through until I headed into Robbie's office, breaking down the door...

"Let's get this show on the road! I'm as drunk as a fiddler's bitch!" Just then, Robbie glared at me...

Robbie: "Tom! What...did you do...to my door?"

"Um...uh...sorry..."

Robbie: "Sorry...? Do you know how long I've been waiting to find that door? I've been dreaming of that door ever since I was a child! Vince McMahon Sr. gave me that door as a federation-warming present when I opened wOw...and now...THIS?"

"I...I didn't know..." Just then, Jerry Jarrett walked into the room...

Jerry: "Sorry, Robbie- I had to deal with one of my guys getting hooked on cocaine, and...Whoa! What happened to your door?" Robbie pointed at me as I began to get a sheepish look on my face...

Jerry: "Should we...wah wah...?"

Robbie: "Wah wah? Not likely...I'll wah wah myself..." Jerry left the room as Robbie started to sing...

Robbie: "2 hours until ground zero

Until you need to make the match of your career..."

"And at least I'll get to do this one right here..."

Robbie: "I know I don't tell you this often,

but when you go out there tonight, leave everything in there...

We've got a sold-out crowd and I doubt they came to hear us sing..."

"Never planned to do anything less,

heck, I was thinking I might even bust out the Kiss..." Robbie looked a little shocked.

Robbie: "I wouldn't have dreamed to ask you to do it that far...

I can't ask you to risk your life- I mean you're our biggest star..."

(Gee, great support on my health, Robbie...) I should have expected this to come when I thought, as who should show up...

Alex: "(What's the problem, Tom? Tonight's going to be awesome!

20 years to become a legend

and tonight is the place in which we truly start

my entire stable gets featured, I get to bring out my whole heart...)

"(Sorry man, but I need to get ready-

tonight's the night in which I have to go to war...

to attempt to give wOw fans what they've been waiting for...)" I proceeded to get ready, trying to turn on my mp3 player to drown out the others still in song. However, I forgot which type of diary this was, so as soon as it turned on...

"20 years to become a legend

and show TNA who the new indy top dogs are

It's time to make ourselves a bunch of shooting stars

And now the curtain's ready to open

It's time to go live for all the world to see...

Because this is dragging on too long, so of this song set...us...free!!!!!

DUB-OH-DUB! YEAH!"

While all this was going on:

(Special Guest Match Writer: The guy who usually writes the match results for TNA programming.)

Dark match: Fast and Furious d. Team OTAKU (47, 81, 64)

Fast and Furious are two of those really common people- specifically, Canadian illegal street racers, while Team OTAKU are...well...two guys...who really, really love anime. Surprisingly, this hasn't made them massively over in wOw, despite market research claiming a large number of anime fans are also fans of the wOw promotion (indeed, it is still not surprising to see wOw merchandise sold at most of your better stores that sell anime memorabilia.) Pretty much your standard dark match despite the teams being established in wOw- both teams trying mostly to impress the TNA brass (and from the reports they succeeded- my sources tell me all four of these workers signed development deals with TNA. Pretty straightforward match, with Fast and Furious winning following hitting a bad 3D ripoff that they apparently call the Drift on Mamoru-kun (apparently a ladies' man, seeing as he wrestles in a tuxedo and throws roses to random ladies in the audience...) Pretty straightforward.

Dark match: Dungeon Master 3.5 d. Monty Brown (60, 82, 71)

This was one of the more impressive matches for a dark match, probably because the two were actually over in wOw. Dungeon Master 3.5 is a rarity- a worker who manages to portray a D+D geek really well and yet still seem like he belongs in a wrestling ring, while Monty Brown is a generic big, black hoss who gets a LOT of mileage in Rhode Island out of the fact that he used to play for the New England Patriots (despite the fact that he was a marginal player for the team in an era before the Patriots became the best team in football, and well, the fact that he's not that great a wrestler otherwise...) Surprisingly, this match was very good- the crowd LOVES Dungeon Master 3.5 (there's that market research again), and Brown managed to hold his own. I have heard word both wrestlers were given plane tickets following their match so that TNA could start shooting video for debuting them soon. Dungeon Master 3.5 got the victory, but really- both of them won...

As that occurred, the typical wOw Flagship opening video occurred as it suddenly got interrupted by a TNA logo. Scenes of TNA matches mixed with wOw's video as the show started up.

"WELCOME TO THE SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL! No, wOw Flagship fans, you didn't turn to the wrong station- tonight, we have a huge showdown, as NWATNA has piggybacked on our show for their first primetime special. I am RD Reynolds, and due to this, my partner Noah England has the night off, so let's bring you to my partner for this event, one of the voices for NWA: Total Nonstop Action- Don West!"

West: "GLAD TO BE HERE, ARR-DEE! THIS IS A GREAT AWPPUHTUNITY FAW ME TO BE HERE IN FRONT OF THIS GREAT PRAWVIDENCE CRAWD, CALLIN' SOME GREAT ACTCHIN!"

wOw/TNA Saturday Night Special:

As the show started, Team Canada's music hit as Jacques Rougeau Jr. took the mic...

Rougeau: "Now, it is our duty as proud Canadians to accept any challenge given to us in the ring, and as such we came expecting to defend our NWA Tag Team Titles. However, the racists at the border patrol stopped our proud leader, Mr. Teddy Hart, and would not allow him to enter our country. Therefore, we, in the essence of promoting the spirit of competition between our countries...our representative from Team Canada, one-half of the NWA Tag Team Champions of the world...AND YOU KNOW THIS MAN..." Just then, Jack Evans headed down to the ring, then flipped in and posed for the crowd.

TNA Announcer: "His opponent...from London, England, Quincy Penfold." The crowd gave huge boos and dueling "QUINCY SUCKS!" and "HE'S A JOBBER!" chants to this guy (even though he was getting jobber treatment...)

West: "I KNEW JACK EVANS WAS PAWPULAH WITH THA FANS, BUT I NEVA SAW A JAWBBA GET THIS REACTSHIN, ARR-DEE!"

RD: "You never watched any wOw before, have you?"

Jack Evans v. Quincy Penfold

Well, it looks like the whole of this Saturday Night Special will be TNA guys squashing wOw guys. Penfold seems to be your typical high society snobby heel, but judging by the reaction he got- either this guy singlehandedly raped the children of every person in the Dunkin' Donuts Center tonight, or this guy is one of the greatest heels in the business no one's heard of yet. The match, however...I was surprised. It was good. Really, really good. Evans looked like a million bucks, and the fact that this crowd hates Penfold's guts made every one of his cool flippy-floppy moves get pops like a People's Elbow. Eventually, Jacques Rougeau distracted the referee, allowing Stevie Fabulous to run in and clock Penfold with a hockey stick (in a move that got much more face heat than it should), allowing Evans to get the three. After the match, Evans took the mic...

Evans: "Now, normally I don't like to gloat in our opponent's loss, but since you people are so great...if you people want us to give this guy more of a taste of Canadian Violence, say 'EH!'" A huge 'EH!' chant hit as Evans, Fabulous, and Eric Young brandished hockey sticks and beat Penfold with them as the show went to break.

(32, 88, 60)

After the break, I saw Jocelyn carry her Miss TNA title (she actually defended this?) as more of a song kept going through my head...

"Since the moment that I first laid eyes upon you

I kind of always knew you were the one to melt my hardened soul

and since we entered each other's life

I've got the feeling in some way that I am somehow whole

and when I hear your beautiful laugh

I kind of know that these things will somehow turn out alright

but when I think of all the brick walls involved

it is then when I end up lying awake until the daylight

cursing L.Ron Hubbard for his sick joke

of putting you in a place so close to me and yet so far

wishing I could break through all of these taboos

and hold you close until we shot out towards the stars

But I cannot go through all the slings and arrows

that this world uses to keep us apart

I cannot deliver myself from this hindrance

I cannot get through to give this a start

Yet I cannot stop my heart from pounding

every time that I chance to see you

and I cannot even try to stop these feelings

even if I don't know if you feel it too

and I can only strive to be your secret

for as long as I have to

and I can only cry your name out at night

because I can't know if you'll have a clue...

because no matter what my head tells me to do,

I'll do what I have to

to get myself to you..."

After the break, Jayce Simmons, Jay Matthews, and Slim J were out on the stage putting on a dance performance to the US-2 theme music. Just then, Jocelyn Richter headed to the ring carrying her Miss TNA title to a big pop. Richter headed to the ring and took the mic...

Richter: "Hello, Providence! Now, I know that it's harder to get time for my own matches, what with managing the hottest boy band in the world right now, the US-2 to greatness and all- but when I heard that the first TNA Saturday Night Special was going to be held here- well, there was NO way that the TNA Idol would not be a part of the action tonight!" The crowd cheered as Richter continued. "Hence, I'm so convinced I'll win in front of the fans here that I'll take on any 3 women who want a shot to become Miss TNA!" Just then, the 3 US-2 members parted the entrance as the contenders started..."

TNA Announcer: "The first opponent...from Albany, New York...Radu Pascal..." Just then, the worker more familiar to wOw fans as Camarilla headed to the ring to a decent enough pop...

West: "WAIT ONE MINITE, ARR-DEE...ISHN'T DAT A BOYZ' NAME?"

RD: "Have you ever WATCHED an episode of wOw TV, West?"

TNA Announcer: "The second opponent...from Japan, Red Lotus..." Just then, Red Lotus headed to the ring sans her National Women's Title and headed in with a slight scattered boo as Richter took the mic...

Richter: "This is my opponents? A wannabe vampire geek and a ninja? Oh, this is going to be easy..." Just then, a familiar pulsing beat occurred as Richter's face went white. A slightly audible "Mommy..." was heard as the announcer started the third...

Announcer: "And the third opponent...the Vicious American Monstress...SUKEBAN!" Just then, the worker more commonly known to wOw fans as Sharon Goddard headed to the ring and began a vicious assault on Richter...

Alex: (You know all 4 people in this match. So, who are you cheering for?)

Jocelyn Richter <----

Sharon Goddard

Red Lotus

Camarilla

(MISS TNA) Jocelyn Richter v. "Sukeban" Sharon Goddard v. Red Lotus v. "Camarilla" Radu Pascal

As Richter mentioned in this one, Red Lotus is a female version of the generic ninja gimmick that makes you question how many fighting games the wOw writing team plays, while Camarilla's apparently a really complex gimmick: from wOwrriors I've heard of, she is apparently a female vampire...only she's not really a vampire, but just a LARPer...who is actually a female worker who keeps trying to wrestle men because she plays a male character in the game. Eh, well- she looks hot in that leather getup she's in, so I can let it pass...This match was a weakness of a TNA special in a wOw ring- I mean, TNA women's matches are terrible. However, when they go to a wOw ring, you end up getting the Miss TNA champion (someone who, when she's not handcuffed by poor opponents, may indeed be the finest female worker in the world today), a worker in Goddard who had a virtual Comeback of the Year in 2004 (and would likely be a major name if she didn't abruptly choose to go back to winding down her career in wOw), the reigning National Women's Champion (arguably the most respected women's title in the world) in Red Lotus, and the worker who's considered by most to be the hottest female rookie in the sport in Pascal. This, if nothing else, should tell TNA what their women's division should be like (and in likely a telling tale for this it might- I heard TNA offered contracts to Red Lotus and Pascal following the match, with the line being that Lotus refused a TNA deal while Pascal signed and will be debuting fulltime sooner rather than later.) The match's only weakness was too "wOw" angle an end, as Toshiaki Kawada (who was referred to by West as "some Japanese guy"- Yevon, why didn't they bring Tenay to this show?) headed out to the ring and KICKED PASCAL'S HEAD OFF, taking her out. However, before Red Lotus could capitalize, Sukeban was right there to give her a LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! from hell, allowing Richter to sneak in and get the pin: Not a bad thing, but when it involves furthering the wOw National Women's Title feud on a "TNA" show and having Richter win by a sneaky heel act (in a place where she's really, really over as a babyface)- it doesn't really work.

(52, 80, 66)

After the break, the Peacemakers' music hit as The Barbaric Berzerker came out to the ring with Chris Hero and Rave Master and got into his usual actions as the character.

TNA Announcer: "And the opponent...from Compton, California- Leroy Jenkins." Jenkins was pretty normal, save for his common pre-match ritual of shouting "LEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOYYYYY JENKINS!"

"The Barbaric Berzerker" Jimmy Jacobs v. Leroy Jenkins

Leroy Jenkins is apparently the wOw answer to Booker T: A former worker in a slave gimmick, who's went on to become a generic "headstrong black guy" worker. The match that came out was a decent match, which is always a plus, but the match was pretty much an average X-Division style match. It was pretty much one of those matches you know is going to be watchable, but not memorable. Jacobs got the win following a Suicide Solution, but at the end of the show I doubt anyone will remember it.

(52, 81, 66)

After the break, the Peacemakers' music hit once again as "The Darkhero" Brandon Downard came out to the ring and took the mic...

Downard: "So. TNA thinks that because they managed to get onto Live TV that all the evil in their world will be wiped clean. Now, maybe the rest of the world can rest, but only I know of all the pure evil that comes through out the nation. No matter where a TNA show airs, there will be some evils that need to be cleaned. Tonight starts the beginning of this descent, as I begin to take down all of the evil that lies beneath the calm exterior of TNA..." Just then, his opponent came to the ring...

TNA Announcer: "And the opponent...from Los Angeles, California- Chris Dobbs." Darkhero took the mic from the announcer...

Downard: "YOU. I assume you're a firm bastion of good, are you not?" Dobbs shrugged for a second before replying, "Um...I guess..." Downard then got pissed off...

Downard: "You guess? YOU GUESS? If you were a true bastion of good, you would KNOW you were pure good from the second. No, there is evil inside you, and I'm just the man to take it away..." Downard then began to attack Dobbs as the match began...

"The Darkhero" Brandon Downard v. "HeartBurnKid" Chris Dobbs

Dobbs is another person who wrestles like a clique member, only without as much of a character as they had. This match...well, it was legalized assault. The two put on a nice matchup, possibly due to how well the two knew each other. However, it was a bit more of a vicious attack, which works to get Downard more over as a badass hero. Downard beat down Dobbs well, finally finishing him off with a Downfall. After the match, Downard proceeded to help Dobbs up and shake his hand, saying "Now the evil has been driven from you...for now..."

(49, 100, 74)

Austin Aries v. Jason Norcross

And the blank X-Division matches continue here, as we had Austin Aries go up against Jason Norcross (apparently some guy who's gotten a following in wOw for his airhead gimmick). The two proceeded to have one of those great X-Division matches with very little storyline. Aries managed to look really good in this matchup, which is a plus- if they have plans for him (likely instead of Norcross due to how close his name is to the NWA champion, though I did hear he merited a development deal following the match.) Aries got the win following a 450 Splash- pretty standard, really.

RD: "Stay tuned, folks- Coming up next, we have a major match, as GenNext's Chance Beckett will take on The Gathering's CarWreck!"

(53, 100, 76)

"CarWreck" Greg Burch v. Chance Beckett

Well, this was the first "TNA v. TNA" match, so the crowd was red-hot for the matchup. The match was also hotter than I would expect a TNA match between Beckett and Burch to be like, as the group managed to put on a good show (despite the match arguably being worse than the wOw product's matches. The two put on a good show as they proceeded to make the fans finally come alive (actually seeing two wOw product fight under realistic stuff- a problem with this "TNA special" idea for wOw TV.) Beckett took the advantage, and regular attacks by Austin Aries led to some decent double-team moves. Eventually, the referee saw this attack, sending Aries back to the ring. Suddenly, Phil Poe came out and tried to distract, only to be sent back (with no pop). Smaller pops occurred as Colt Cabana and Chris Hamrick came out to try to help Beckett, only for no major changes to occur to that. Finally, Beckett took the advantage...only to have Raven show up to a HUGE pop and hit the Raven Effect on Chance Beckett, only for Burch to lock the Oblivion's Razor in on Beckett and getting him to tap out. After the match, Raven raised CarWreck's hand as the show went to break...

(80, 79, 79)

Generation Next ("Ironwood" Shiori Coybito/Jared Steele) d. Cade Sydal and Daron Smythe

Cade Sydal and Daron Smythe are the rarest breed: People in the year 2005 still doing a Russian gimmick. The match, however...damn, this was good. The only problem was the fans not getting the Steele/Coybito team (the two didn't really cross paths in wOw.) Other than that, the match was awesome: Cade Sydal and Daron Smythe, despite their gimmick straight out of the 1980s, have impeccable chemistry together, while Coybito and Steele put on a decent teamup together. Double-teams abounded on them, so the match was dazzling. The only problem was the wOw-centric ending: Basically, Hawk Younkins and Frankie Kazarian rushed the ring and attacked Steele, only to have a group of weird people try to attack. Finally, some punk-looking guy (who I was told was a wOw guy named General Apathy) helped and hit Hawk with a Drop Toehold Onto a Chair. With this, Coybito hit a Britain Breaker on Cade Sydal while Steele hit a Done Deal on Smythe, as the two pinned their opponents simultaneously for the win.

(66, 100, 83)

After the match, the GenNext people stayed by the ring as Alex Shelley came to the ring and took the mic...

Shelley: "Now, I know that this belt says that I can beat anyone the TNA fans put up against me, but tonight, things had to go to another group of fans. The people on dubohdub.com voted who gets a shot at my TNA.Com title, and you chose...well, who? Come on...give me a challenge..." Just then, Jeff Hardy's music hit as the fans cheered and Shelley looked. A small "...crud..." hit as the two started to fight...

(TNA.Com) Alex Shelley v. Jeff Hardy

Well, this was better than it should have been. I had heard Jeff Hardy was unstoppable since going to the indies, but this was just an awesome matchup regardless. Shelley and Hardy managed to mesh just well enough to make things interesting. The two put on a decent match (worthwhile, since the two are apparently feuding in wOw. The two managed to work well- Shelley with his nice technical skill, Hardy with his, well...XTREME nature. The ending added a bit more to the match and got the crowd red-hot: Hardy got Shelley down and hit the Swanton Bomb. Just then, Steve Evans rushed in and attacked Hardy to HUGE pops from the fans, finally hitting a Slight Remix (Swanton Bomb) on Hardy. Shelley took the advantage, getting the victory. Not bad at all...

(65, 81, 73)

After the break, the announcers started to talk...

West: "OH YEAH, ARR-DEE! THE MAIN EVENT IS HERE! NWA WORLD TITLE MATCH! THIS IS BIG!"

RD: "You better believe it- the NWA World Champion, the AWA World Champion- one on one for the NWA World Title!" Just then, Jason Cross's theme hit as the NWA Champion hit the ring and took the mic...

Cross: "SHUT UP! Now, I kind of expected mistreatment like this to happen in Nashville where no one appreciates the fact that I am one of the hottest and most overlooked wrestlers in the country today- hell, they gave me crap when I won the Super-X tournament, they gave me crap when I won the NWA X-Division championship, and they gave me crap when I beat their idol Jerry Lynn to win the NWA World Title. So I finally prove myself by putting Lynn down for the count Sunday, and I expect to finally get my due. But NOOOOO. I come to this podunk state, a place which I was TOLD knew something about wrestling, and all I hear is 'You're gonna lose, Cross...prepare to get rid of that belt...'! I can't take this stuff anymore. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU PEOPLE TO GIVE ME THE RESPECT I'VE PROVEN I DESERVE? Well, tonight, that little boy band bitch is going to see that he doesn't deserve to be in the same league as a wrestler as red-hot as I am!" Just then, Jayce Simmons and Jay Matthews headed to the top of the ramp and did a dance routine as Slim J headed up to a DJ booth and started mixing the US-2 theme music with Tom Goddard's theme, only for him to not show up.

West: "I DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD HAPPEN, ARR-DEE! MAYBE HE TURNED TAIL!"

RD: "I would have to doubt that- Tom Goddard wouldn't run off like a coward here- there's no way that could happen..." After a short while, the lights went up to the upper levels of the crowd, where Richter and Goddard were perched clad in wOw shirts and camouflage as Richter took the mic...

Richter: "AND THE CHALLENGER TONIGHT, REPRESENTING THE US-2...THOSE PEOPLE IN NWATNA SAY HE'S FROM THE PLANET GLITTER OR FROM NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE, BUT ALL OF YOU PEOPLE KNOW HE'S COMING STRAIGHT OUT OF PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND- THE REIGNING AWA: MLW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD...LET'S HEAR FROM HIM!" Richter passed the mic to Goddard...

"JASON CROSS, ON BEHALF OF THE ELECTRIC JESUS AND ALL OF THE US-2...WELCOME TO RHODE ISLAND, BEYOTCH! Yo, Slim J, HIT THAT STUFF!" Just then, Slim J replaced the US-2 part of the mix with some loud rock-sounding music...

"Welcome to DUB-OH-DUB! where the new school plays

kicking ass and taking names like every day

crown jewel to the jerkers, wOw comes hard

when you head to Rhode Island, better be on your guard

This here's the new generation, like we're Michaels or Razor

You mess with one of us, better bring at least a tazer

We come hard, make any of our opponents cause a fuss,

And, oh, yeah...YOU MESS WITH ONE, YOU MESS WITH ALL OF US!" Just then, the US-2 members came down as the entire wOw locker room emptied with people dressed in the same outfits as Goddard and Richter (many of them pointing to the wOw logo...)

RD: "It looks like we might have an impromptu lumberjack match, Don!"

West: "THE TNA BRASSH COULDN'T HAVE EXPECTED THIS TURNUV EVENTS, ARR-DEE!"

RD: "Well, anyone who knows this place knows- wOw is like a family. You know every person in back would love to see Tom Goddard hold up the NWA Title here tonight!" Goddard and Richter kept going down through the crowd, high-fiving fans all the way as they headed into the ring and posed to huge pops. Cross and Goddard then began to lock up...

Cross: "Um...hey. Just hearing this crowd...I'm not getting out of here alive if I lose to you, am I?"

"Um, I doubt it..."

(NWA World) Jason Cross v. Tom Goddard

Now THIS was a hot crowd. It says something that this pure heel-heel matchup (at least to the TNA fans) was so big for the fans in the crowd, as they were just loud. Between the wOw workers trying to hype up the fans and get them into the match. Naturally, Cross played the heel to the skill he's done in recent months, whereas the reaction Goddard got was so huge that it seems like NWATNA is pretty much going to HAVE to turn him face after tonight. I know that wrestling doesn't have as much of a "6th/7th/10th/12th Man" as other sports do, but this had an example of it right here. Goddard used the crowd to his advantage, using a lot of nice moves to get Cross out of the ring, where the wOw workers got in some nice (albeit somewhat stiff) punches and kicks on Cross. The two proceeded to put on a nice high flying show after this, as Cross began to fight his way back into the match. Eventually, Jeff Hardy pulled out a ladder and tried to pass it to Goddard, only for Cross to grab it and use it to attack Goddard. Cross then set the ladder up in the middle of the ring and went for the Crossfire on Goddard...only for Jay Matthews and Jayce Simmons to pull Goddard out of the way, sending Cross ass-first onto the ground. Goddard then proceeded to hit a Lionsault onto Cross and then grabbed the ladder. Goddard brought it over to Simmons and Matthews at one of the corners, only to have Simmons, Goddard, Slim J, and Jocelyn Richter begin to steady it by the top rope...

Richter: "You're sure you're going to do this, Tom?"

"Hey...they deserve to see it first-hand at least once, and I can't think of a better day than today..."

West: "THE US-2 IS STEADYIN' THA LADDA, AND GAWDDARD GOES UP..."

RD: "Wait a minute...if Goddard gets this high, there's only one thing that this could mean, but...it's too rickety! This is WAY too dangerous- don't try this at home, folks! Even a professional would be insane to try what I think he's trying!"

Goddard climbed the ropes, then climbed up the ladder and tried to steady himself, then made a "wOw" hand symbol and shouted "T-GODD!" as the crowd went BANANA!

RD: "Oh no...he is going to do it! DON'T DO IT, TOM! IT'S SUICIDE! YOU'VE GOT YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU! NOTHING IS WORTH THIS!"

Goddard then leapt and proceeded to hit the Dementor's Kiss on Jason Cross as the wOw forces leaped in celebration. Goddard covered, as wOw senior ref Maes Hughes made a lightning-fast count. About roughly one.five seconds later, the crowd virtually tore the roof off the building!

West: "NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION! THERE IS A NEW CHAMPION IN NWATNA!"

RD: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WATCHING TONIGHT, THE WAIT IS OVER! 30 YEARS wOw HAS BEEN WAITING, BUT NOW TONIGHT THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS TITLE IN THE WORLD, THE NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE IS IN THE HANDS OF A wOw WORKER!" Goddard's theme music was drowned out by the sheer celebration by the live crowd. wOw wrestlers rushed the ring as the announcer made the call...

TNA Announcer: "THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH, AND NEW NWA WORLD CHAMPION- TOM GODDARD!" Jocelyn Richter handed Goddard his AWA World Title while the referee handed Goddard the NWA World Title as Goddard headed to the top rope and held them up to the crowds.

RD: "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't think I'm the right person to describe what I've just seen. There has only been one man to truly hold an Undisputed World Championship in professional wrestling since 1949, and there has never been someone to hold the World Titles of two different major, unaffiliated companies at the same time, but tonight- that's all changed. This is...this is history in the making, folks. On behalf of all of whacked Out wrestling, we'd like to congratulate the Undisputed World Champion, Tom Goddard!" The celebration continued as the show ended...

(62, 80, 71)

Over: 71

[Guest U.s_Champ_Mysterio]

Nice, Refelcto i have just read through all four pages of this and its great. I hope Tom signs with WWE eventually.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next 24 hours were a blur to me. Somehow, I didn't really think I was going to be able to leave the arena that night with all the people swarming me. Somehow, I could expect it- I mean, it's not every day they're home to what could be almost undisputably be called the Champion of the World, so I had to expect it. After I tried to meet with as many people as I could, I saw Robbie head over to the crowd and try to pull them away...

Robbie: "Sorry, folks, Tom can't talk to you all right now- he has to get to Nashville for tomorrow night's TNA Pay-Per-View. It wouldn't be a good thing if the new World Champion wasn't able to defend his title, would it?" The mixture of the crowd understanding the point Robbie made and my ability to get enough of a head start helped out, as me and the rest of my regular stable were then able to head off to my car and drive off to Nashville. Somehow, it made a bit more sense- despite working with him for the past month, I didn't really know Slim J that well, and after Jayce and Jay moved down to Nashville once they really took off in TNA, I didn't get to see them as much outside the ring as well. This led to a good opportunity to just hang out with the others- you know, let them know I'm not getting a big head now that I hold double World gold in double federations (even though I kind of am, a little...). After a little bit of a decent trip, we finally made it to the show a few hours before we could get in. I saw Jocelyn waiting for us...

Jocelyn: "So, just because you're the champ, you think you can't get in at the same time the rest of the wOw workers get here, huh?"

"Well, you try being swarmed for a couple more hours for that- it really wreaked havoc on my schedule."

Jocelyn: "Yeah, yeah. You know as well as I do that the only reason this schedule occurs is because you drive like an old lady..."

"Oh, big talk. Who gets into more fender-benders, anyway?"

Jocelyn: "Um...you?"

"Okay...but who gets more tickets?"

Jocelyn: "I'm cute- I never get tickets, so- you..."

"...meanie..." We headed into the arena and proceeded to wait to see the schedule. I got a little more surprised at the result of this, and should have probably thought something was up. I mean, here I was, the NWA World Champion...and my only true match for the night was for the XPlosion tapings? This cannot bode well, methinks. I headed through and waited. Luckily, since I drove from the show I didn't really have a chance to change my outfit, saving me some time as I knew about the way it was planning. I saw the crowd swarm in through the stage. Thankfully, it seemed like this change had apparently fit well enough- I had seen a few of the areas more likely to put "US-2 is Number 1!" signs up switch to "THE NWA WORLD TITLE HAS JUST GOTTEN ELECTRIC!" with my picture on them, which is always a plus. Eventually, Jerry told me to get my head away as they started the video up...

As the TNA PPV started, a video of the Saturday Night Special hit, showing clips from most of the matches (mostly involving blue-screens of the TNA stars doing their big moves in a cynical attempt to provide mystery for the show going on), finally showing scenes from the Beckett/Burch match, then finally ending with scenes from the World Title match, finishing dramatically with the celebration for the new champion as the show started up...

NWA:TNA PPV:

West: "WELCOME TO NWA-TNA, FOLKS! LASHT NIGHT WAS AN AWSHOME EXPERIENSHE AWN CAWMEDY CENTRAL, AS THA SATURDAY NIGHT SPESHIAL REALLY HIT BIG! I AM DAWN WEST, AND WITH ME IS MIKE TENAY, AND TENAY- WILL YOU DO THA HAWNAHS?"

Tenay: "Sure thing, Don! If you've been living under a rock or were one of those people who missed the Saturday Night Special, you missed a lot, because it is official: there is a new NWA World Champion! Let's go down to the ring, where Jerry Jarrett's here for this crowd." Just then, Jerry Jarrett was in the ring and took the mic...

Jarrett: "Thank you, TNA fans. Now, usually one of the pluses for NWATNA coming to you straight from the Asylum every week is that when something occurs, the fans right here in Nashville get to see it all. However, this was not the case. Last night, on the Saturday Night Special up in Providence, Rhode Island, we proved: No matter where the show is- if you miss one TNA show, well then, you may miss a lot! Let's roll the tape..."

Goddard climbed the ropes, then climbed up the ladder and tried to steady himself, then made a "wOw" hand symbol and shouted "T-GODD!" as the crowd went BANANA!

RD: "Oh no...he is going to do it! DON'T DO IT, TOM! IT'S SUICIDE! YOU'VE GOT YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU! NOTHING IS WORTH THIS!"

Goddard then leapt and proceeded to hit the Dementor's Kiss on Jason Cross as the wOw forces leaped in celebration. Goddard covered, as wOw senior ref Maes Hughes made a lightning-fast count. About roughly one.five seconds later, the crowd virtually tore the roof off the building!

West: "NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION! THERE IS A NEW CHAMPION IN NWATNA!"

RD: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WATCHING TONIGHT, THE WAIT IS OVER! 30 YEARS wOw HAS BEEN WAITING, BUT NOW TONIGHT THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS TITLE IN THE WORLD, THE NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE IS IN THE HANDS OF A wOw WORKER!" Goddard's theme music was drowned out by the sheer celebration by the live crowd. wOw wrestlers rushed the ring as the announcer made the call...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Quick update: While we were watching the TNA show, here's what happened on Sunday Night Heat...

WWE:

Sunday Night Heat quick results:

John Roche d. Michael Shane (49, 68, 52)

The New Breed d. Lethal and Wylde (43, 82, 55)

Joey Hamm d. Jake Roberts (43, 70, 50)

After the break, Chris Sabin was backstage...

Sabin: "At the Royal Rumble, you puny Americans saw the power that was the New Reich. While the true ubermensch of professional wrestling did not bring a visit to Wrestlemania to the Mother Country, my power will be seen by the world in professional wrestling. Tonight, Val Venis will be the first of the lesser people to fall to the might of the New Reich. If the special Nazi training I have received since my birth will not destroy you, then the power of an unstoppable Blitzkrieg will. When this finally ends, I am certain even these dummkopf Americans will finally scream, 'HEIL SABIN!'"

"The Soldier of the New Reich" Chris Sabin d. Val Venis by Blitzkrieg interference (58, 75, 59)

Chris Sabin gains 2 points of overness. HEIL SABIN!

The Naturals d. The Johnsons (49, 65, 51)

Shane Goddard d. Bradley Richter (71, 96, 74)

Jonah Edelman d. Buff Bagwell (77, 72, 67)

Nicholas Dinsmore d. Collyer-3000 (65, 79, 64)

Brandon Robinson d. Rey Mysterio Jr. (78, 76, 69)

Rene Dupree d. AJ Styles (83, 78, 72)

Mark Henry d. Maven (84, 64, 69)

Over: 60

[Chris the Human]

Heil Sabin. I love it. I wish I'd thought of it. Nazi Sabin is so much better than bland Sabin.

Good to see this still alive and kicking.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

(Hello, Diary Dome fans. If you're one of the people here living in the US, you know that today is Memorial Day.

We here at Team wOw realized: irregardless of how big things are...you can't have Memorial Day without some 'Memorial', now can you?

wOwMemo is officially Active again. Expect more wOwMemo goodness to happen sometime today...while most of my most loyal wOwrriors know some of this...I'm hoping some of the 'Soldiers' can get into place for this one...)

WWE RAW:

As Raw started, Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross were talking...

JR: "Welcome to Raw, King! Tonight we've got a big matchup tonight for the Tag Titles..."

King: "You said it. They announced it on wwe.com last night: Kyo Dai and Metro going on one last time, the losers have to break up!" Just then, the two were stopped up as Eric Bischoff came to the ring and took the mic...

Bischoff: "Hello again, people! Tonight, I've got a big thing for all of the fans here on Raw. It's come to my attention that there are a lot of people fighting for all of our titles, and in the process, I realized something. There is a malaise in a lot of people, because they feel like they'll never get shots at the World Title- shots at the Intercontinental Title. To that end, I have chosen to remedy that...by this!" Bischoff pulled out a title belt and showed it to the crowds...

"This is the new WWE Television Championship. Whoever wins this title will be required to defend it on every WWE TV show or be vacated of the belt immediately, guaranteeing at least one title match per Raw brand show from now on. The tournament schedule will be up on the board right now..." Just then, Bischoff turned to the TitanTron as the brackets showed up...

Qualifying Matches for Television Title Tournament

WWE Television Title Tournament:

Collyer-3000/ (JR Ryder/Jay Lethal)

Crowbar/ (Sylvan Grenier/Shocker)

Robbie Lawler/ (Keiji Sakoda/Andy Douglas)

Bradley Richter (Steven Richards/Rod Johnson)

_______________________

Jonah Edelman (Eric Mastrocola/Jerrelle Clark)

Dean Douglas (Mystery- under ownership of The New Reich/Derek Wylde)

Orlando Jordan (Blitzkrieg/Richard Johnson)

Billy Reil (Alex Shane/Kenzo Suzuki)

______________________________

Jerry Lawler (Chris Sabin/Jake Roberts)

Joey Hamm (Johnny Swinger/Sean Casey)

Rob Conway (Chris Michaels/Josh Prohibition)

Bam Bam Bigelow (X-Pac/Roderick Strong)

____________________________

Matt Cross (El Dandy/John Roche)

John Heidenreich (Simon Diamond/TBA)

Nunzio (Chase Stevens/Kevin Martel)

Val Venis (Steve Blackman/Sedrick Strong)

"Tonight, people will get the first qualifiers for the tournament- and they will start NEXT!"

[unknown because of botch...wot? When you keep a show in the works for 3 months and a rise to Dome stardom with another diary, I'd like to see you try to remember these...]

As the show came back from break, the Raw theme hit as 'Good Ol'' JR Ryder came to the ring accompanied by "The King" Robbie Lawler and The Coach as The Coach took the mic...

Coach: "Thank you, thank you. Now, I have a question for Bischoff...what's the deal, man? I thought you and I- we were supposed to be close, right? So why did you have to do me like this- putting the two rightful people who SHOULD make it all the way to fight for your new title...my boy here, The King..."

Lawler: "PUPPIES! PUPPIES! PUPPIES!"

"...and this boy here, the other rightful finalist, GOOD OL' JR..."

Ryder: "STONE COLD! STONE COLD! THE RATTLESNAKE! BBQ SAUCE!"

"...in the same bracket? I mean...these two will almost inevitably fight in the quarterfinals of your tournament, and you just don't care about this! Plus, you put a legend like Good Ol' JR here in the qualifying rounds, not even giving him a bye? What's the deal, man?" Just then, the team of Lethal and Wylde came down to the ring and took the mic...

Wylde: "The mission given was simple. My partner came to the building tonight, and the chief gave him a mission he couldn't believe. A pair of small-timers were trading on the good name of two respectable..." Wylde looked at the announce table... "...One respectable man. My partner's mission- defeat him and get into the tournament." Lethal then took the mic...

Lethal: "TONIGHT...IS THE NIGHT...I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. Tonight is the night when the WWE will learn to play by Jay Lethal's rules..."

Qualifying Round match: Jay Lethal v. J.R. Ryder

(Just then, a Super-Deformed version of Jocelyn Richter came out to meet everybody...

"Hi, everybody! I'm everyone's favorite wOw worker and YOUR TNA Idol, Jocelyn Richter, and I've been asked to help out the people who are just joining us here in wOwMemo.Since I, of course, am one of the most popular females in the diary, the protagonist for the series, and an amazing female wrestling prospect..." Just then, RavenBlack came over to the scene...

RavenBlack: "...Mary Sue..."

"Oh, hush up...you're just jealous...anyway, we here at Team wOw know that this is a bit of a stretch for a newcomer to walk into, so I am here to help! So, here's an "AT-A-GLANCE" of these new guys...

J.R. Ryder- he's supposed to be some really good new prospect up in WWE right now...so of course they show this by giving him a gimmick where he mocks Jim Ross. This despite the fact that, well, Ross is still the announcer for Raw. Eh, I never notice this stuff- I work for TNA. Luckily, they'd NEVER make bad gimmicks like this, right?

Jay Lethal- Apparently, he was some generic member of Special K before WWE hired him to a development deal. Since then, he became a star in OVW as half of an old '70s Detective team with Derek Wylde, leading to the two being called up for good after the Survivor Series. No word yet on whether that night was the night that he had been waiting for (though our sources tell us, it was.)

Well, this match was good enough to get the crowd interested in it. The two managed to put on an awesome match- Ryder's really become one of the most underrated workers in wrestling the last few months, and Lethal proved he belongs in WWE (just NOWHERE near a microphone...) Derek Wylde and Robbie Lawler got into a fight on the outside, leading the referee to send both of them back. From there, The Coach tried to distract the referee while JR proceeded to attack Lethal. Good Ol' JR finally got an advantage, hitting the STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER! on Lethal. However, instead of pinning him, JR grabbed a bottle of BBQ Sauce that The Coach pulled out- only for the referee to see it and DQ him...

(49, 98, 65)

Qualifying Round match: Shocker v. Sylvan Grenier

(

"Hey, it's me again, and at a glance..."

Shocker- ...Daddy told me to stay away from this guy. From what I heard, he recently purchased the gimmick of Matt Hardy...not for any reason, but solely because he wanted to perform the V-1 hand symbol. I didn't see the show, but my dad told me that good girls shouldn't know why he uses this hand symbol. That must be why he hangs out with Lita and El Dandy...

Well, this was a pretty bad match. The match was mostly played for comedy- the obvious joke being El Dandy, Lita, and Shocker trying to perform perverted acts on Sylvan...only for Sylvan to enjoy it. Repeat ad nauseaum. The match finally ended as Lita tried to add to it by starting to make out with Sylvan...only for Sylvan to get grossed out and run from the ring, giving Shocker a countout victory. After the match, the three celebrated by making out in the ring...

(53, 68, 54)

Shocker gains 1 point overness because Sylvan liked TWO EEN THE PEENK, ONE EEN THE STEENK!

Qualifying Round match: Andy Douglas v. Keiji Sakoda

Well, this was a pretty straightforward matchup. Douglas and Sakoda were just decent enough to get the fans interested, but the two were pretty bland. However, the match was also short as anything,as Sakoda was soon attacked by Nicholas Dinsmore after the match, allowing Douglas to get the win. Pretty boring and way too short, but if Kyo Dai succeed, I could see some Naturals/Kyo Dai feuds going on...

(47, 75, 54)

Andy Douglas gains 1 point overness for beating a tag champ

Steven Richards v. Rod Johnson

Okay...this match was terrible. Richards tried his best, but he proved once and for all that neither Johnson can be a singles worker. The match soon degenerated to dick jokes and comedy, as Johnson was made to look as dominant as he could (failing miserably). The end was fairly surprising, though- Richards and Johnson degenerated into a puro-style CHOP FEST~!. Eventually, Johnson got angry and tried to hit the White Mist on Richards, only for Richards to move out of the way. After this, Johnson rolled out of the ring and underneath the apron- only to be replaced by a midget dressed in a Johnsons outfit. This midget was no problem for Richards to pin, as he got the victory...

(55, 57, 50)

Jerrelle Clark v. Eric Mastrocola

(

"It's me again, with more At-A-Glance..."

Jerrelle Clark...something you probably know right now. Reflecto...is warped in the head. In Reflecto's never-ending quest to become the brilliant, tortured artist of EWB, he frequently goes in directions no one else dares to tread. To that end...he made it so that in WWE, Jerrelle Clark and April Hunter have a gimmick where they are the same person. As punishment for this, we, the Union of Reflecto's Original Characters Local 420, passed a resolution requiring Team wOw top assistant The InterKnight to hide all of Reflecto's copies of 'Ranma 1/2' until he agreed to make less insane gimmicks than this one.

Eric Mastrocola- he's just your generic Italian guy. Not much to see here- apparently, the petition worked."

I didn't really pay attention to this match, so I had this random cute lolicon character do the update:

"YIPPIE! This match was all icky and stuff. Jerrelle Clark and Eric Mastrocola are all icky and uncute and not as pretty as me, right? Right... Anyway- they did a bunch of dumb moves and stuff, and then Mastrocola grabbed a thing of hot water, and then he poured it on him, and he went underneath the ring and stuff, and it was boring and things...but then this lady came out- but she was also ugly and stuff, and she kicked Mastrocola's ass to get the win...at least it's over..."

(Hell if I know.)

After the break, Derek Wylde came back down to the ring with Jay Lethal. After this, the video of WWII footage aired again as the Tron played..."HEIL SABIN!" Just then, Chris Sabin and Blitzkrieg came down to the ring as Sabin took the mic...

"HEIL SABIN! Now, the purity of the WWE must be saved from these...unclean people, and the first step will be one of my forces winning the Television Title! I have myself in this wretched tournament, my loyal warrior Blitzkrieg is here to save these people, and finally, I have my newest weapon. People, tremble before the might of...THE FINAL SOLUTION! HEIL SABIN!" Just then, the music hit again as a large man (who some sharper-eyed fans would have recognized as TNA worker Abyss sans mask) came to the ring and started to attack Derek Wylde...

Final Solution v. Derek Wylde

Okay...new hoss up against random tag team worker. Can you say "SQUASH?" Final Solution just showed his offense, dominated Wylde, repeat. Once Final Solution hit the, well, Final Solution (TAFKA Black Hole Slam), it was academic. After the match, Sabin and his henchmen started attacking more- until Richard Johnson came down to the ring for no apparent reason except he was Blitzkrieg's opponent. That match is NEXT~!

(50, 75, 55)

Blitzkrieg v. Richard Johnson

Well, this was also a bad match. You saw the Richards match? Lather, rinse, repeat. The only reason this was better was because Blitzkrieg's more interesting to watch than Richards is in-ring. The end result saw the same comedy finish. Blah, blah...

(29, 67, 43)

Alex Shane v. Kenzo Suzuki

And we have another subpar match on the card here. Suzuki seemed like he was trying to dog it against Shane, who kept trying to put his best attacks out against Suzuki. Stacy Keibler tried to distract Suzuki, who allowed himself to get distracted throughout most of it. Eventually, Alex Shane finished trying to play games, hitting Suzuki with a rollup out of nowhere to get the victory. After the match, Shane and Keibler celebrated, until Suzuki fought back- only to have Metro run in and continue the attack as the show went to break...

(30, 71, 45)

Kyo Dai v. Metro

(

"You know why I'm here..."

Metro- These guys are my personal favorite team in WWE, and not just because my older brother Brad's one half of the team...oh, okay- that is the only reason they are. They're actually fairly nice guys, even if Nicholas Dinsmore and Rico tried to hit on me even though I was the cute, innocent baby sister of one of their stable. However, I don't like to think about that night...mostly due to the other things I had to deal with at the time...)

This match was actually a decent one, getting an end for the thrown-together match. It said something that both Sakoda and Suzuki could have a match on the card themselves, then manage to put on a great match to help pull the show together. The teams seemed to be putting on a decent show, with Dinsmore looking like a million bucks throughout the whole thing. Eventually, Dinsmore tagged in Richter, who proceeded to get his ass kicked from pillar to post. Kyo Dai just ended up killing Richter out there, finally finishing him off relatively easily to get the win and break up Metro. After the match, Kyo Dai celebrated as Dinsmore left the ring in disgust and left Richter lying there...

(57, 80, 61)

Nicholas Dinsmore loses 1 point of overness for having to find something else to do

Keiji Sakoda gains 6 points overness for beating his enemies

Kenzo Suzuki gains 6 points overness for beating his enemies

Rico and Shawn Michaels v. Shane Helms and Rene Dupree

And we have a generic,thrown together tag match. Apparently, let me piece together the story here...

...um...Rene Dupree won the Royal Rumble and is on a quest to become the "Youngest World Champion in History this is truly my destiny I need to win the title no we swear we're not trying to screw AWAMLW and NWATNA". Hence, Rico wants to attack him. Rico is also attacking Shane Helms because he just won the title from him. Despite both wanting the title, Dupree and Helms are teaming because they're faces and every face is friends with every other face (even if Dupree has a regular teammate.) Meanwhile, Rico is angry at Helms because he...won Helms's World Title. Also, he dislikes that he has to face Dupree. To this end, he found Shawn Michaels...for no apparent reason except all heels are friends with every other heel. Michaels had nothing against either Helms or Dupree, but they are faces and as such he hates them. Yeah...this was bad. Naturally, Rico and Michaels won via cheating- the proper end for a bad thrown together tag match. Yeah, yeah...

(88,80, 76)

Lance Storm v. John Cena

Do my eyes decieve me? Is the Intercontinental Title match the main event on a Raw? These two...well, they were actually decent enough to boot. I knew that Storm brought the goods, and Cena's been decent in his form (it's a shame that WWE depushed him like this just because he refused to release his rap album on WWE's record label...). The match was decent enough, putting on a good end for the show. Cena went for the victory, but Storm fought back, finally getting a dropkick on and locking on the Canadian Maple Leaf to get the win. After the match, Storm celebrated- until Shane Goddard headed in and attacked as the show ended...

(87, 80, 75)

Over: 59

Collyer-3000/ Jay Lethal

Crowbar/Shocker

Robbie Lawler/Andy Douglas

Bradley Richter/Steven Richards

_______________________

Jonah Edelman/Jerrelle Clark

Dean Douglas/ The Final Solution

Orlando Jordan/Blitzkrieg

Billy Reil/Alex Shane... Just then, I rushed through and took out the person making the name...

"Now, hold on just a minute! I have to deal with Reflecto angsting over some girl, saying he can't write for us anymore, going off and becoming a big name while leaving us behind-BASING A CHARACTER ON THE SAME PERSON HIS 'EVER-SO-FRAGILE TORTURED GENIUS ARTIST HEART' COULDN'T DARE TO WRITE HERE, might I add, and then when he finally gets bored enough to write more wOwMemo, he can't even have me or the rest of us show up on it? Come on now, wOwrriors- chant with me: YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT!" I kept chanting for the next few weeks...until Reflecto took control and faded out quick before his fans started rioting...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

(

More "wOw Memorial" Day headlines:

Since I came up with an extra show, I figured I'd also give some more bonuses to the fans- specifically, a sneak peek at the first two chapters of the [still in the works] wOwMemo prequel. Just another treat from Reflecto to all of you...

<<The following preview has been rated "wO.">>

whacked Out wrestling Memorial

Part One: "A Tale of Headlocks, Hurricanranas, and High School.

All characters involved are the expressed trademark of Thomas Greene and Team whacked Out wrestling. I have at least seven people who've been on the ground floor with this stuff and know I created it, all of whom have their own copies...keep this in mind.

Chapter One: "In Loving Memory of Trahn 'Jimmy' Ng."

September 4, 1997: Providence, Rhode Island.

Whenever I think about it, it always seems that my life has always tended to take a turn for the worse when the decades change. I mean at this point, I haven't experienced that many decade changes, what with only being around for fourteen years at this point, but I think it does work. I mean, assuming the theory of reincarnation is correct, then my previous life would have probably ended somewhere around the years of 1980 and 1982, and I kind of assume that dying's something I wouldn't want to experience. Maybe I managed to get a firm hold of the '80s by experiencing the decade as a young kid, but that's something that could be expected- I mean, rampant amounts of parents spoiling their kids, great kids' TV shows, video games becoming de rigeur for households...who could ask for anything more? I was lucky enough to get proper amounts of the necessary spoilage, and more lucky that I was able to experience most of the benefits of the '80s popularity as a kid- specifically, that of the first major boom of professional wrestling as mainstream entertainment. All the great names of the '80s rise of Panda Wrestling Federation that you remember growing up with and/or watching over in Great American Wrestling these days- people like Superman Samson, "Wildman" Willie Wallace, The Amazing Big Boi, Ricky Fighter, and all the rest? My father...well, he wasn't one of those greats, but he did lose to every one of them on national TV. Yes, that's right- my father was Johnny Goddard- one of the few, the proud, the career jobbers- one of those guys who spent their career dedicated to the important goal of making the people everyone comes to see look good. The pay was surprisingly decent, he managed to see a lot of the country, his notoriety as a nationally televised worker (even if that was in losing to everyone with a pulse) allowed him to get good money from smaller promotions, and most importantly for any young kid- even if your father's losing on TV, having a father who was a pro wrestler pretty much meant you automatically won every single "My dad can beat up your dad" argument on the playground- both a plus because it meant I could lead any wannabe elementary school gangsta crying home to mommy and a minus because of all the people who thought that my father's being a wrestler would likely mean that I was also able to fight (usually proving that, following my dad's example, I too ended up kissing my fair share of soil and/or blacktop on the playgrounds.) However, eventually the beatings began to toughen me up, and by the end of first grade, I was actually able to hold my own with most of the people in my grade in a fight- which wouldn't have been a problem, if I wasn't getting beaten up by fourth and fifth graders on a regular basis. Despite the beatings, I still hadn't really felt bad about my situation in those years. In fact, I might even go past what most of my teachers and therapists would have claimed about me and say that I had a good childhood. However, then the decade changed again, and this childhood pretty much ended with it.

You see, during a match in July of 1990, my father suffered a heart attack in the ring and died. It was a fairly big shock in the state of Rhode Island, but it didn't serve to wake anyone up for this. My father was never a major superstar to really shock people nationwide, and it was a much earlier time period so that it was seen as more of a "minor inconvenience" for the business instead of that one major death that'd get people to change the way they did business. As a result, the only times people even seemed to mention my father were in minor forms afterwards- a quick exhibit for evidence when people got irate at hearing that people actually used steroids in pro wrestling, the one time this one writer decided to try to do a long-form obituary on him, and other minor things like this. My mother really lost most of her mind on this, and began to turn all her grief outwards. She ended up blaming pro wrestling for his death; I knew in my heart that it was not to blame for this. Following her blaming the sport, it led to more problems for me- in addition to just losing my father, my mother got more angry at the other parts of this- specifically, the fact that my older sister Sharon had already been following in my dad's footsteps since 1985, and my brother Shane had already started training at Robbie's wrestling school with plans to do the same. My mother threw a hissy fit over this, eventually telling both of them to choose between the business or her. They chose the business, and my mother immediately broke off all contact with both. As almost one last little "fuck you" to my life, she decided to put the entire state behind her and took the first transfer she could get at her job, sending us to Johnstown, Pennsylvania that summer. At seven years old, I had to take stock in my life going into the last decade of the 20th century: my father had just died, I could only hope to see my brother and sister on television, and I was being moved away from all of my friends. Upon reflection, I could safely say that this was one of those rare situations that managed to both suck and blow.

Due to these things, the last seven years of my life have pretty much been one of those awful blurs that you really hate to relive. My mother was a major portion of this- after my father died, she still hasn't remarried- I don't even think she's had one date since the time he died, and I rarely hear her telling me that she's gone out with any friends (or even if she still has any friends left.) All I knew was, my mother spent most of the time since her death focusing on work. It has always seemed to me like my mother gets off more on professionally castrating her male co-workers than she does anything else in her life. Since that move, there were a number of different places my mother carted us off to in an attempt to try and make her money, power, and respect grow- Cincinnati, Sacramento, Charlotte- all places that ended up as stops on my history. It didn't seem too bad, but eventually, it's gotten to be pretty hard for me. Every time we moved somewhere new, I could never manage to truly make any friends, just knowing that eventually, that other shoe would drop and my mother would say she got a transfer. It got harder considering the fact that in addition to being alone from all my friends, the fact that I was kept from most of my family made it harder- with two siblings I couldn't see and a mother who spent most of her time at work, I had a nearly non-existent level of role models in my life all this time. As it stands, Homer Simpson and Al Bundy were the closest things I've had to a father figure, which is kind of bogus when you think about it. The only thing that kept me some measure of a sense of self throughout this period were my grades- since I had so little time with other people, it was easy to pour myself into my studies. However, even that seemed to be a problem for this, as evidenced by the fact that roughly every two months, I had taken to deliberately throwing one of my tests solely so my mother would get angry with me (learning early on in this that my mother would pay more attention to me if I got an F than if I got an A.) It was through this blur that sometime back in July, I got the words from my mother that I never expected I'd hear again...

"Harold, I wanted to give you the information- I was given another promotion again..." By this time, I didn't even think of asking for more problems- I just resigned myself to the next move.

"I see, Mom...where are we moving this time?"

"Well...this might cheer you up...I was moved back to the New England offices- we're moving back to Providence..." I still felt a little giddy at that news. I mean, I knew it wouldn't be a problem, but I was still hoping I could see the people I had known beforehand again and have some hope of reconnecting before I left again. I was happier than I usually was for the move, counting down the weeks until my mother had to finish the transfer. Finally, about a week ago, the last boxes were packed up as we headed off for our new old life. As we headed into my mother's car, she turned to me once more.

"Now, Harold, I had to tell you one last thing before we go up there. Now, we're moving back home, but I want to warn you one last time. I don't want you having anything to do with...your father's son, your father's daughter, your father's old friends, or any of those things. The only thing I want you to keep of your father's is that name- by now, I don't doubt they've forgotten about him just enough so you'll be able to live the normal life you were destined for. Do you hear me?" Great. I finally get to go home again, and my mother still wouldn't allow me to even see any of the people who made me consider Providence my true "home" in the first place.

"Yes, mother- I hear you..."

"Good. Now, take a look at this- it got sent in the mail a couple days ago, and I knew you'd need something to read on the ride up..." Mom passed me a small booklet. On the front of it was the name "Sachs Prepartory High School- Student Handbook". I sort of recognized the name- Sachs had a good reputation of being one of the better schools in Rhode Island (or at least one of the most expensive private schools in the state.) Due to those things, I still wasn't sure whether I was going here because my mother wanted me to get the best education money could buy, whether she wanted me to go there because she thought she'd get more credibility at work by saying her son went to Sachs High, or a little of both. (I always tried to give my mom the benefit of the doubt and say that it was the first option, but the more I know about her, the more likely I'd say it was probably option three.) I proceeded to read the handbook, then eventually fell asleep, not to be awoken until my mother decided it was time to stop at a hotel (which would roughly be the traveller's equivalent of the hospital patient woken up in order to be administered a sleeping pill.)

The next day was relatively easy- the drive was enough so that we were finally able to get to our new house- something that seemed to go with my mother's intense problem of whether to spend money or whether to look like she spent money, leading her to get us the nicest house in one of the crappiest suburbs that she could find. The house looked a little like the house that we had before we left (back when my father was making us the money), but it still didn't feel the same- where I once remembered a mixture of nice-enough people (outside the ones who wanted to beat me up), the new area was filled with suburban lower-middle-class kids who wished they lived in the ghetto, with a nice mixture of rednecks who claimed to be in a gang and numerous girls who, while they looked like I could probably stand a chance at nailing them, also had that look in which I would have to put a 2 by 4 around my waist to keep from falling in if I did so. I tried to get things set up, but my mother came up to me before I could do so carrying a ticket of some kind and called to me...

"Now, Harold, I know you haven't had a chance to do much in the last couple weeks except prepare for the move, so I tried to have them call ahead and get you a ticket to go over to the public pool. Just relax a little bit today, all right?" My mother handed me the ticket as I proceeded to open up the bag I kept my clothing in and got one of the pairs of shorts that could likely double as a bathing suit a little pleased. This is the main reason I've never been truly able to hate my mother for how she's acted- just as she does things that are really bad to me, she does some relatively nice things to almost counteract it. I remembered the pool was over on Mello Avenue, and from where the new house was over on Wilson Street, I knew it was within walking distance- if I was correct, just 6 streets over and you'd be there. I managed to make it over to the pool. I showered off and headed into the poolside area towards the deep end. I looked to see if the diving board was in use...and that's when I saw her for the first time. A vision of loveliness in a relatively conservative black swimsuit and a white swimcap. Her face was immediately stunning, enhanced by a body that'd make a priest kick out a stained-glass window. I stood entranced waiting for her to go off the diving board, only to see her pull off a perfect backflip into the pool. I headed up the diving board, seeing her imperfect backstroke show that she was still looking towards the board. Struck by her unintentional gaze, I stood firm...and proceeded to do a face-first Nestea Plunge into the pool. I heard her chuckle as I righted myself up. Trying to make it look like this didn't matter, I swam a couple laps before slinking back to the shower area. I could see her still up at the diving board, and as I headed past it, I heard the semi-amplified footsteps of her going off the board as she headed over to me and let loose a sweet shout...

"Wait a minute...Harry? Is that really you?"

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 2: "Warrior Warrior Memorial High School Football Rules"

As I heard the voice, I was shocked. I had just moved here today, and already this girl had apparently known my name. I had to go through all of the possible worries- did I put on my makeshift bathing suit inside out, allowing one of my mother's stress-induced nametags to be visible for everyone who went to this swimming pool to see? Was she talking to some other guy...I mean, it is a fairly common name. Sometimes, it's seemed to me like every Tom, Dick, and Harry was named Harry in these places. I was still puzzled as to what that meant as she headed over, finally being face-to-face with me.

"Um, yes it is..." I stammered out as she got a bigger smile on her face.

"I knew it! I...I don't suppose you remember me, do you?" I took a closer look at the girl. At that moment, I had to say that if I didn't remember who she was, it'd probably be better off if I at least pretended to know in the hopes it would get me closer to her.

"Well...of course I remember you...but I have had a bit of car lag...perhaps some water in the ears wreaking havoc on my mind's working...could I get your name again?" Oh dear "Bob", that was one of the biggest choke jobs in the history of ever.

"Aww...I knew you wouldn't remember me. I guess I wasn't that memorable after all...honestly...after seven years, I'd assume that you would remember me. I'll go leave you be..." I saw her head over towards the women's locker room as she took off her swimcap, revealing her jet black hair. I thought through my time at home beforehand, finally able to match a child's face to the girl's...

"Jocelyn...? Wait, don't go!" Just then, I saw her turn back to me...

"So- you remembered who I was? I KNEW you wouldn't have forgotten your best friend from elementary school, Harry!" My hunch was right. I almost felt like a huge idiot not remembering who she was immediately. When we were in first grade, she was easily the prettiest girl in our class. All the boys wanted her to be the one watching them watch and cheer for them as they beat their friends up under the guise of playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, while the more adventurous ones tried to make her another notch in their patients' records in their parents' garages. However, I had known I had the inside track that led her to spend most of her time at school with me- specifically, the fact that Jocelyn's father was 'Rock'N'Roll" Robbie Richter, a legend in the Rhode Island area (partly due to his skills in the ring, partly due to his popularity with the fans around the state, but mostly because he was the booker in whacked Out wrestling and as such was one of the most powerful men in Rhode Island's wrestling scene.) Because of this, her father served as my father's regular boss when he wrestled locally, was the agent who got my father the best possible deals to wrestle regionally, and due to my father's national notoriety from his jobber appearances, booked himself as my dad's regular tag team partner (allowing him to leech off my dad's almost-fame and get himself regular opportunities to job for national federations in one fell swoop.) Because of all the time my dad spent with Robbie, he would often take me with him when he headed to Robbie's house- allowing me and Jocelyn to become fast friends. I always thought the fact that she was ripped from my life when my mother moved us to Pennsylvania that year was the biggest reason I had grown to hate the frequent moves. I headed over towards her and spoke again...

"Um...of course I wouldn't have forgotten you...um...I was just pretending?"

"Yeah. Sure. Uh huh. I believe you...really..."

"Well, come on...I mean, I could have bought it if you really didn't remember me, Harry...I mean, it's been seven years and...well...you can see how I've changed...I mean, I've become so..." She didn't need to tell me that twice. I knew she was probably angling for me to pay her a compliment there- somehow, a line like that was begging for one. However, my head took me back to some junk e-mail I got which said if you wanted to make a girl like you, you had to be cocky and funny with them. As this came to mind, I knew the only option I could do for this...

"...pudgy?"

Instantly, I saw her hand drop back as she proceeded to slap me with such authority that I could have sworn that the slap replayed a couple more times afterwards in slow motion (both of the replays hurting just as bad. When my head got past those seeming replays, I could see her storming off towards the ladies' locker room shouting "Harry, you jerk!" as I mentally told myself to never trust spam ever again (unless it's one of those delightful e-mails about hot young barely legal teens who wanted to fuck me all night long under the condition that I took special pills to naturally enlarge my penis...but then, who can resist those?) Considering how it's kind of a bad move to stay somewhere after you've had a cute girl leave in a huff, I headed to the mens' locker room, showered off, got dressed, and headed back home. When I got there, my mother was waiting for me...

"Harold- you're back so soon...what happened to your face?" My mother got her compact, opened the mirror, and passed it to me as I saw the handprint still on my face...

"Um...I was swimming so hard I ended up hitting the wall of the pool?" I said sweetly. I knew my mother would worry, but I think it's easier than saying "I reconnected with an old friend who was the daughter of one of Dad's wrestling buddies..."

"Well, if that's all that happened- that's fine. I made up a bed for you. Get some rest..." I headed to my room. I saw that my mother did manage to pull out my pillow and comforter and managed to make my bed up. I managed to pop into bed and fall asleep...

That night, I felt myself enter a dream. In the dream, I was inside a high school gymnasium. I saw the logo for whacked Out wrestling on the ring aprons, while also seeing my father and Jocelyn as she looked when she was 6 at the announcers' table. Seeing my father alive again made me want to head over to him. I headed towards the announcers' table and tried to talk to my father, only to hear him whisper "Now is not the time, son...now you have to fulfill the family destiny..." I took the view and headed into the ring to wait for my opponent. Just then, I saw the Grim Reaper head into the ring. I began to run to the outside to my father, only to see him begin to disappear, not before saying the words "This is our family's destiny, Harry...make me proud..." I headed into the ring, and began to fight with the Grim Reaper. Just then, I saw him perform a strange attack on me, sending me down. I felt myself get up from this...only to see that my soul had left my body. The fans began to boo as my soul began to ascend to heaven. As I began to pass through the ceiling of the gymnasium, I woke up with a shudder. I tried to get back to sleep, finally managing to just before I was due at school for orientation.

The next morning, I awoke and waited for the bus in order to get to the orientation meeting. Somehow, I never thought I could tell much about the school from the buses that they used. When I saw the short bus pull up to my house, I should have gotten an idea of what I would be getting into. I heard my mother tell me that the only reason for this bus was because it was a small private school, which seemed to keep me somewhat sated from these things. I got on the bus and proceeded to take the drive from the school- a much easier thing due to the fact that I was pretty much the only person from this area going to Sachs Prep. This seemed like a good thing- any excuse to keep some much-needed free time to myself on the ride up (and get extra time to sleep and/or do homework with nobody to bother me) was a plus. When we got to school, I looked for the auditorium. I asked an older student where it was, only to have him laugh in my face and point me down to the all-purpose room in the basement. I headed down the flight of stairs, only to find when they meant an all-purpose room...they pretty much meant all-purpose. The room seemed to serve as the cafeteria, school store, library, computer lab, and audio/visual room in one fell swoop, with a large amount of old, seemingly unused books adorning the shelves that seemed to give the viewer the impression that you could just steal any of them and no one would ever be the wiser. I proceeded to look for a place to sit in the mob full of freshmen waiting for the place. I ended up finally finding a seat (or at least a fairly small place on the carpet to plop down) next to two people- one a fairly muscular (well, for a 14-year-old) guy on my left and a guy who, with leather pants, a shiny silver shirt covered by an opened Michael Jackson jacket, and a short cut with a leopard-style print for his haircut, looked like he'd be less out of place at a rock concert or the set of a third-rate porno than he would in a high school on my right. As I sat down, I saw a youngish looking woman sitting near the teachers stand up and start talking...

:"Ah, hello students, and welcome to your new home away from home for the next four years, the Sachs Prepartory High School. I am Ms. Camarillo, and I'm one of the English teachers here at this fine school. It's my first year here, too, so I hope that I'll learn from all of you the same way that you'll learn from me over the next four years...okay? Okay..." Just then, I felt the guy to my right nudge my shoulder and whisper...

"I'd like to teach HER a thing or two...if you know what I mean, and I think you do..." Just then, the guy on my left turned to the guy on my right...

"Steve, come on...we should be listening right now..." The guy on my left looked a little nervous as Steve continued...

"Ah, come on, Jared...this guy seems to be fine with it, aren't you?" Steve punched my arm a little as I, not knowing how to respond that I wanted to listen, just nodded in approval in the hopes he'd finish. I heard Ms.Camarillo continue...

"Now, here at Sachs Prep, we have a firm belief that students learn at their best when they're given the freedoms of the adults they are. To this end, we feel you should have more responsibilities than most schools will give you. In our view, if you want to go out and slack off on the streets of Providence instead of going to class, feel free to do so...you'll just be responsible for what you miss in class that day all the same..." Instantly, I saw almost one of those cartoon smoke clouds pick up all around the room as a number of people left the room..

"Yeah, I doubt they'll be coming back here...but whatever, it's their prerogative, right?" Just then, I felt Steve nudge me again...

"I'd be coming on her back...oh yeah, you know what I mean..." Just then, I felt Jared pull me over towards him...

"Steve, will you stop? We're trying to concentrate..."

"Aww, Jared...you're like ants at a picnic, man. Relax- we're in High School now. I'm telling you, man...me, you, this kid here...we're going to be the biggest things at Sachs for the next four years!" I turned and nudged Jared...

"Well, he certainly does seem like a big Sach right now- he's already part of the way there..." Jared turned to me and had a weird look of disdain on his face...

"...somehow, I think you and Steve are going to get along just swimmingly..." Me and Jared turned to hear Ms.Camarillo continue once more.

"...our freedoms go beyond what most schools offer people- unlike most schools in the state, we're perfectly fine with our students smoking as long as it's kept to the designated areas outside...if you want to go have a cigarette, feel free..." Just then, I saw another seeming cartoon smoke cloud head up as the room was almost empty. I saw Ms.Camarillo look frustrated as she continued.

"Well, I assume this was an easy thing to weed out the people who will just view this place as a diploma factory- you know, all of that rubber stamp, thank you very much, here's your one-way ticket to working over at the nearest burger joint that wouldn't frown upon people with dreadlocks working there...I mean, I love the freedoms we have, but the first lesson I can tell you kids is that you have to balance these things out. Like Spiderman said, with great power comes great responsibility...you all will do well to remember that in your time here..." Just then, Jared nudged me this time...

"Wow...an English teacher who is actually able to quote from Spiderman? Stop me from jumping on the nearest desk and screaming 'O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN!'..." I turned back to Ms.Camarillo and tried to listen...

"So, who'll be the first to introduce themselves to the rest of us? Come on, I can't be the only one talking here...okay...you, go ahead..." I saw her point at a fairly cute blonde sitting in one of the seats by the computers as the girl stood up.

"Um, okay, Ms.Camarillo...geez, why'd you have to ask me to go first...um...my name is Jamie...Jamie Dorian. My interests are staying active, and...I can't keep going ma'am...sorry..." I saw her fall back into her seat and turn beet-red...

"Okay...now, how about we get these boys here..." I saw Ms.Camarillo turn to us, first pointing at Jared as he looked a little embarrassed..."

"Um...uh, my name's Jared Steele...I like reading comics...oh, I really like wrestling, and placed fairly well down in junior high..." I saw Ms.Camarillo roll her eyes at that remark before responding...

"Oh...great...another one of these muscled-up bohunks trying to come in here...you know, I had heard something about this school having a good wrestling team, but I still can't see it...why anyone would want to go in and watch sweaty men in tight clothes hold each other tightly unless it's in the proper context is beyond me..." I saw Ms.Camarillo blush a little bit as she tried to turn to me before Steve jumped up and shouted...

"ATTENTION, SACHS PREP, LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS, YOUR SHEEP, AND YOUR WARM APPLE PIES BECAUSE STEVE EVANS IS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING HIZZ-OUSE! If you must ask for my occupation, I get paid to rock the nation, biyotch!" I saw Steve wake up the room and basically do stuff as the teacher got a little flustered as she turned to me...

"Geez...a wrestling nut, a shrinking violet, a freak...hopefully you're normal..."

"Um, well, my name is..." Just then, I heard a shout from behind me...

"...wait, HARRY?" I spun around to see the voice shouting (though part of my head already knew...)

"What the...JOCELYN? AAARGH!" I saw her look just as flustered as I was...

"NOOOO! Why'd you have to come here?" I saw Jared and Steve turn to me and try to high-five me...

"Wait a minute...you know that girl? SCORE!"

"Yeah, Harry- I have to also give you props on pulling that, man..."

"It's not what you think! This...this...mean meany...he..."

"Hey, I'm not the one who never wrote one letter to me when I was gone- Seven freaking years!"

"The telephone goes both ways, you know..." I heard Ms.Camarillo start shouting to stop the argument...

"All right! All right! I give up! Go home, I'll see you when school starts! Aargh...why'd this have to happen my first day..."

[JStarr]

lol, america