The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

[Guest ricky2005]

Hey, i've just read through all of this and it's awesome! I had my favourite quote of the whole series quoted but I kinda lost it somewhere... it was the thing about Jeff Hardy's dad being a cat.... and matt hardy being a robot... awesome. Though some things are just too weird for me to get, lol

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The Aftermath.

TV: "Welcome to Ring Talk, the world's number one-rated wrestling talk show. Why is it so popular? Well, come on- we're hosted by CHARLES NELSON REILLY, for crying out loud! Now, here's the show."

Reilly: "Good evening, wrestling fans. The big news tonight out of Rhode Island- we have word of a major trade in the Diary Dome between wOw Memorial and Berner Street Wrestling. BSW recieves Vicious and Delicious- PsykoSlash and Milo, T'Omm J'Onzz, NWATNA worker Danny Hillstead, 57U, Becky Bayless, Tyrone 'Scoot' Andrews, The Klansmen- Cade Sydal and Daron Smythe, and Kari-Chan, while wOw Memorial receives VB Fosters, Sir Quincy Penfold III, Rising Son, Jamie Koeppe, Bone Daddy, The Dungeon Master 3.5, The tag team Smackdown- Rodney Mack and Jesus Aguilera, and minor leaguers BSW Cade Sydal and BSW Daron Smythe!"

The news story continued as everyone was abuzz. People were still shocked at what would happen next here in wOw. However, it hit the people involved much harder. Here, they had made lives for themselves in the world of wrestling here in Rhode Island, and all of a sudden, they were going to be moving to Australia and an uncertain world...

Scene: Montana, at the ACW tapings.

"And another big victory for the ACW Tag Team Champions, Vicious and Delicious! I tell you, these guys have to be seen as another future name to make wOwfed great..."

"Well, maybe not...I've just received word that Vicious and Delicious were added to the mega-deal between wOw and BSW!" The crowd proceeded to give a larger "Farewell" pop to the champs, who were confused...until they were given the news backstage. Afterwards, PsykoSlash and Milo were in shock...

PsykoSlash: "I can't fucking believe this. Traded. After all we sacrificed for whacked Out wrestling. We come up in the MBWF, do well as a team there. MBWF gets bought by wOw, we move off to Buttfuck, Montana and take a development deal, hoping we'd finally get called up to the big time of indy wrestling. Now, I hear we're ready for the big time, and they trade us to some Australian federation? What the fuck?"

Milo: "Do not worry, PsykoSlash. Milo is okay with wherever Milo gets to boogie down with all the beautiful ladies who like him. Milo knows that if Milo goes to Berner Street Wrestling, Milo and PsykoSlash will be able to be major players. We are just too talented not to, brother."

PsykoSlash: "I know that, Milo. Hey, at the very least- no matter where it is. Montana, Rhode Island, Australia- we've been all we've had for a long time. At least we'll be together, kicking ass and taking names there."

Milo: "That is right, brother. Let Milo get ready for all of the beautiful ladies in Australia...and do it with you, together."

PsykoSlash: "Together." The two shook hands and hugged, then handed the ACW Tag Team Titles to the booker on their way out of the arena to the well-wishes of the back.

Scene: Backstage at the wOw Primetime Show.

Shelley: "I can't believe this! I'm...the wOw World Champion. I'm the freaking World Champion of whacked Out wrestling! What the hell, man!"

Jacobs: "You think you have a good time? I won't have to bother with that angel getting in my hair all this time!" Just then, Becky Bayless headed over and glomped Jimmy...

Bayless: "You're such a meany, Jimmy! Here I leave, making it so you lose all my special glomping for you, and you're like this?"

Shelley: "Yeah. Come on, Jimmy- you're never going to see her again. Can't you be a little lovey-dovey..."

Jacobs: "Come on, it's not the time for this..."

Bayless: "But...but Jimmy...I'm...I'm going to miss you...I'm gonna be all the way in Australia, and you'll still be here..."

Jacobs: "Yeah? Well what's the problem? People leave all the time. That's part of the business of life. You have to keep going despite it. It's like all these people I see asking me to help them. They remain bound to the Earth because they can't distance themselves from everything- they have too much keeping them bound to this plane of existence, and they end up walking the earth for eternity because of it. I can't get too attached to anyone...I can't allow myself to miss you..."

Shelley: "That's a cold way of looking at things, Jimmy..."

Jacobs: "That's the only way I am able to look at them, though. I don't want to end up as another of these spirits I see all the time. If it means detaching myself from everything else, then so be it..."

Bayless: "You're so mean, Jimmy..." Bayless proceeded to glomp Jacobs once again. Alex could see some tears enter Jacobs's eyes as Bayless kept her power-glomp on him, for likely the last time...

Jacobs: "H...H...Huss..." Jacobs broke down as he cried onto Shelley's shoulder...

Shelley: "There there, man...it's going to be all right. It's okay to feel down about this once in a while- you just have to know that no matter how bad things get, your true friends are going to be right here to help pick you up..."

Jacobs: "I'm...I'm going to miss her, man..." Shelley proceeded to hug Jacobs.

Shelley: "Let it out, man...let it out..."

Scene: A streetcorner in South Providence.

The street looked fairly dead that night, save for the scene of a white Ford driving into the scene. Just then, one of the passengers asked the drivers what was up.

Andrews: "What's going on, massa Cade? Why're we here?"

Sydal: "Never you mind, boy...Daron, could you help me get the door?" Daron Smythe proceeded to get out of the other side and open up a door, after which Leroy Jenkins stepped out of the car. Cade Sydal proceeded to grab a bucket of KFC and a bottle of Colt .45, then headed over and handed it to Jenkins...

Sydal: "Me...me and Daron bought you these...whole bucket, just for you. And something to wash it down with..." Jenkins looked at the two with disdain.

Smythe: "Well? What're you waiting for, <<NICEGUY>>? Go on, boy! You're free now! Go on- don't wait for us..."

Sydal: "Just leave, Daron- he won't understand unless we go..." The two Klansmen proceeded to get in the car and drive off, leaving Jenkins on the street corner.

Smythe: "Are you sure we did the right thing, Cade?"

Sydal: "Well, come on. We were only allowed to take one of our <<NICEGUYS>> with us. We would have had to put him in the pound if we didn't, and at his age, he'd only be put down anyway. It's better for all of us this way..." Just then, Smythe looked in the rear-view mirror at Jenkins, who put down the KFC and the Colt .45, and started to howl a mournful call...

Jenkins: "LEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!"

Scene: The wOw Primetime tapings.

After the show, Danny Hillstead headed over to Robbie Richter...

Hillstead: "So, what's that about? I know you work as my booking agent, but trading me to an Australian federation without my permission? What's TNA going to say about that?"

Richter: "I actually got TNA's permission first. I heard them saying they were going to release you to make room for Slim J anyways, and so I decided to go with the first group I could in order to make sure you remained a force in wrestling. BSW was that opportunity to you."

Hillstead: "Okay...I see..."

Richter: "Look at it as a new opportunity. You stayed in TNA, you'd never amount to much more than a jobber. Goddard and Simmons have potential main-event status all over them, and Jay was getting to their caliber more and more by the day. By contrast, the fans just didn't care about you. But you go to BSW...you have all the potential to be a star there- to do as well as you could do. You can be somebody there- more likely than in TNA."

Hillstead: "I see, Robbie..."

Richter: "Well, come on. Cheer up. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

Hillstead: "Well, Robbie...if I have to go to BSW, what I really want to do is have one last show with me and the boys from the US-2...say goodbye to all the fans right. What do you say?"

Richter: "Sounds damn good, Danny- I'll have Jocelyn organize it..."

Hillstead: "Excellent..."

Scene: The stage as a screaming crowd of mostly teenage female fans is transfixed to the stage. A Martian in full lounge-singer getup is on stage...

J'Onzz: "Thank you, thank you, Rhode Island! I've got one more song before I go on an extended vacation to Australia, folks, so I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite songs to perform- one I've done from Mars to Earth, and the lyrics always have that same meaning...HIT IT!

<<It's not unusual to be loved by anyone

It's not unusual to have fun with anyone

but when I see you hanging about with anyone

It's not unusual to see me cry,

oh I wanna' die

It's not unusual to go out at any time

but when I see you out and about it's such a crime

if you should ever want to be loved by anyone,

It's not unusual it happens every day no matter what you say

you find it happens all the time

love will never do what you want it to

why can't this crazy love be mine

It's not unusual, to be mad with anyone

It's not unusual, to be sad with anyone

but if I ever find that you've changed at anytime

it's not unusual to find out that I'm in love with you

whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh>>"

The crowd gave a huge cheer to J'Onzz as Jocelyn Richter headed to the stage.

Richter: "All right, fans! That was T'Omm J'Onzz giving a great opener for us, but now is the moment you've all been waiting for. The moment that we hate to see- the final performance of the original roster of your favorite boy band, THE U-S-2!" The five members of the US-2 came out to the stage and took their positions as Danny Hillstead took the mic...

Hillstead: "Okay, as all you fans know, this'll be my last hurrah up here in the 4-0-1, but I wanna make sure I leave here rocking! Who here's with me?" The crowd cheered that news... "This here's the first single for my old bandmates without me, so just consider me a guest vocalist here. Yo, Slim J, Gimme a Beat!"

You Girl

Written by: T.Goddard/J.Simmons/J.Matthews

Produced by: T.Greene/J.Steele/J.Richter

Hillstead: <<"Never felt like this before,

Thought I was in love, but this is so much more..."

All: "Because you make me feel on the top of my game..."

Matthews: "Ever since I saw your face,

I've been living in that happy place,"

All: "And now I know my life won't be the same..."

Hillstead: "I never knew someone could brighten up my whole world..."

All: "I want You Girl,

Because you're the only thing that's real to me,

When I dream, you're the only girl I see

And there's no one who can make this go wrong

And every time I sleep I pray

That no one will spirit you away

Because my life would then be unfurled...

I want You Girl..."

Simmons: "I know you heard of the others before,

but compared to you they're all a bunch of bores..."

All: "Just red herrings in the mystery of my heart..."

Goddard: "But they're nothing compared to you...

Can't do for me the voodoo that you do..." Just then, I happened to see out of the corner of my eye Kari-Chan backstage...

All: "You're the only one I need with me from the start..."

Hillstead: "You can never know how important you are in my world..."

All: "I want You Girl,

Because you're the only thing that's real to me,

When I dream, you're the only girl I see

And there's no one who can make this go wrong

And every time I sleep I pray

That no one will spirit you away

Because my life would then be unfurled...

I want You Girl..." I slowly backed closer to the exit while keeping the show going...

Hillstead: "You can never know how important you are in my world..."

All: "I want You Girl,

Because you're the only thing that's real to me,

When I dream, you're the only girl I see

And there's no one who can make this go wrong

And every time I sleep I pray

That no one will spirit you away

Because my life would then be unfurled...

I want You Girl...

I want You Girl,

Because you're the only thing that's real to me,

When I dream, you're the only girl I see

And there's no one who can make this go wrong

And every time I sleep I pray

That no one will spirit you away

Because my life would then be unfurled...

I want You Girl..." The crowd screamed their heads off as the others took a bow, then left Hillstead to bask in the applause as I headed to the back rather quickly, heading over to Kari-Chan...

"Kari...? What are you doing here?"

Kari-Chan: "Tommy-kun...could you come somewhere more private with me?" I followed her back to a disused corridor...

"So...what's this about, Kari-Chan..." Just then, I was shocked by Kari falling into my arms.

Kari-Chan: "I don't wanna leave you, Tommy-kun!" I knew what it was about. Honestly, I expected it when I heard she was traded.

"But...you have to. You were allegedly one of the cornerstones of this trade. The Australians really want you in their federation, Kari..."

Kari-Chan: "But...but I don't want to go to Australia! It's so far away..."

"You have to. If you intend to be a great wrestler, you have to go where you're signed. As of this moment, you're under contract to Berner Street Wrestling."

Kari-Chan: "If...if that's what it means, then I'll retire from wrestling tonight. I just don't want to go..."

"Are you serious? But you have a long career ahead of you..." Kari-Chan then laid back and slapped me across the face.

Kari-Chan: "Don't you know by now? I never cared about being in wOw, I never cared about being a valet, and I certainly never cared about improving by going to Australia!"

"Is that so? Well, why are you even here then? Why didn't you stay waitressing and being a full-time student instead of touring with wOw?"

Kari-Chan: "Are you blind? I LOVE YOU, TOMMY-KUN! I never cared about being a great worker- the only thing I ever wanted in life was to be your girlfriend- to be the one you shared your life with!" Great. I also knew in the back of my mind this would come up.

"Kari-Chan...I...I'm sorry. I can't be the one you're looking for..."

Kari-Chan: "Why? Is it because I don't care about wrestling as much? Just answer me this, then...if I were to go to Australia, and eventually come back a great worker...would you marry me then?" I looked at her face, seeing it as she looked as though she was ready to cry...

"Kari-Chan...I can't wait for you for that long. I...I'm in love with Jocelyn..." Kari-Chan instantly burst into tears following this...

Kari-Chan: "No...I can't...I can't accept this, Tommy-kun..."

"It's the truth. I'm very sorry, but I cannot be the man for you. Go to Australia. Live. Laugh. Love. Just forget that a guy like me even exists in this country. I'm not the one for you, because if I was, then me and Jocelyn would not feel so right together- almost like we were put on this planet to be with each other. If you don't go to Australia and become a BSW worker, all you'll do is torture yourself here, and I don't want that for you. You're still young and beautiful enough so you're bound to have all the guys Down Under falling over themselves just to talk to you."

Kari-Chan: "Tommy-kun...you're...you're so cruel..." Kari-Chan ran off crying. In that moment, I felt as low as a person could possibly feel.

The next day, I could see the sun shining as the wOw roster got up and headed over to T.F.Green to say our last goodbyes to the traded people and welcome the newcomers from BSW. Robbie had sent one of the staff writers to go with them for purposes of giving info on the gimmicks of the wOw guys and getting info on the BSW guys' gimmicks for use in our banks, so he led the rest of them in what seemed to be a walk of shame. I headed over with the others. It was hard to say goodbye to a few of them- me and Danny had been pretty tight due to being in the same stable in TNA, and 57U was one of the first guys me and Steve started training in order to make a little extra pocket money during college. Harder still was looking at the virtually cried-out eyes of Kari-Chan as she tried desperately to not look at me. She failed, however, and burst into tears following it. We headed to the last spot we could see them off, then watched them walk off to their gates...

"It's...it's raining."

Evans: "You're going to miss her. Admit it, Tom..."

"Yeah, man."

Evans: "If it'll help you...would you like to do the honors?"

"Yes, Steve- yes I would." Steve took out his PDA, and scrolled to the page that said "Girls'Numbers." I saw him move to a number that said "Kari-Chan" on it. I took the PDA from him and proceeded to delete the number from its memory.

Jared: "It gets better, man. When things like this get you down, just remember something that you know to be true- me and Steve will always be there for you. Never forget that."

"I love you guys..."

Steve and Jared: "Same here, man. Same here."

[RavenBlack]

Kari-Chan: "Are you blind? I LOVE YOU, TOMMY-KUN! I never cared about being a great worker- the only thing I ever wanted in life was to be your girlfriend- to be the one you shared your life with!" Great. I also knew in the back of my mind this would come up.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

As I went to the NWATNA show, I was still a little down following the actions of the last week. Seeing some of your friends go off to Australia, having to break someone's heart- they really get to a person. However, that changed when I got to the show, and saw Jay and Jayce head over to me...

Matthews: "OHHHHH YEAH! THIS is what I'm talking about!"

"What's going on?"

Simmons: "Did you hear the news? The action here's going to get much better, man!" I decided to go into the TNA locker room, still a little surprised...only to come across a person I recognized from the past as Jacques Rougeau.

Rougeau: "So...THIS is the famous Tom Goddard, huh?"

"Um, yeah...why are you here?"

Rougeau: "Didn't you hear the news? TNA's entered into a working agreement with FLI. Now our great workers will be here to show up all you American guys..."

"Oh, really...like that'll happen. Everyone knows that FLI wishes they could be on par with wOw guys..."

Rougeau: "We'll see. We'll see. I already put my crown jewel with WWE in Kevin Martel, and tonight, you'll see the greatness of our second crown jewel, Stevie Fabulous, as he makes his glorious debut on TNA television."

"Well...okay. You do that." I headed back over to the other US-2 guys and proceeded to get ready for the show- somehow, really cocky federation owners are only tolerable if they're OUR really cocky federation owner. I got ready for the show, saw my match (apparently, they did go with my claim for it), and got prepared.

NWATNA XPlosion

Before NWATNA XPlosion started, Dave Meltzer headed over to the announcers' booth. Jocelyn Richter then tried to follow, only to be stopped by Goldylocks...

Goldylocks: "Well, well, well...little miss perfect thinks she's got some attitude because she's got a boy band now to back her up?"

Richter: "Cram it, Goldylocks- no matter how those people deal with me, you're still the same skank as always..."

Goldylocks: "You're just jealous because you have four X-Division workers in your little stable, and combined, not one of them could match up with the dominating power of my main man, the future of TNA, the true Unstoppable Force, John Walters. Compared to him alone, all your boys are just...small time."

Richter: "Excuse me? Let's see. John Walters is this 'Unstoppable Force', but despite the GREAT rookie year he had, who was the 2004 TNA.com Rookie of the Year? Walters? Oh, no, I forgot. It was my guy, Jay Matthews. Walters is this legendary 'Unstoppable Force', but has he ever held the Tag Titles? No? The X-Division Title? No? But surely, since he's an 'Unstoppable Force', he must hold them both simultaneously...oh wait, I forgot, the one who holds those two titles is MY guy, Jayce Simmons. And if they weren't enough, we have the band's leader, Tom Goddard...you know, the person who's only the YOUNGEST PERSON TO HOLD A WORLD TITLE IN HISTORY?"

Goldylocks: "Well, those things are only because they never met up with Walters. If John wanted to, he would destroy Jayce, if he wanted to, he'd destroy Jay, and certainly if he wanted to, he'd destroy Tom..."

Richter: "Well, let's see about that then. Tonight- you put your 'Unstoppable Force' in the ring, and I'll put the 'Youngest World Champion in History' in the ring, and we'll see which one's the better man."

Goldylocks: "You really want to look small time? Okay...I'm game..." The two shot each other an icy glare as the show started.

(76)

Goldylocks gained 2 points overness for doing well at being TNA's official skank

Jocelyn Richter gained 2 points overness because, well, she's the main female character and as such can do no wrong

Meltzer: "So, what was that all about?"

Richter: "Don't get me started, Dave..."

Meltzer: "Well, don't worry. Run along and your little friend can face off with Walters tonight in our main event."

Richter: "Yeah, yeah...Goddess, sometimes I really hate girls."

Meltzer: "Yeah, I know what you mean..." Just then, the Canadian national anthem hit as Teddy Hart and Jack Evans of Team Canada came out to the ring and took the mic...

Hart: "Ladies and gentlemen, the team of Team Canada has been going through some turmoil since we lost the America's X-Cup. We've been out doing our business, trying to get the best stuff. Two of our members have left to train, while we've stayed waiting in the tag team division here. However, we're pleased to announce that Team Canada is back in action. Allow us to introduce first, the new coach of Team Canada- Jacques Rougeau Jr.!" A ripoff of Rougeau's WWE music hit as Rougeau headed to the ring and took the mic from Hart.

Rougeau: "Thank you, thank you. However, it is not enough for a coach to have half of a team with him. I scoured the country of Canada looking for the best workers possible to do our fine country proud. Finally, I believe we've found the right two to take the reigns here. I give you, Team Canada's newest members- Eric Young and Stevie Fabulous!" Young and Fabulous headed down to the ring and waited for the opponents, only to see Chris Hamrick and Colt Cabana come down to the ring and attack as the match started...

Team Canada (Eric Young and Stevie Fabulous) d. The Gathering by Jacques Rougeau interference- Team Canada celebrates in the ring afterwards (53, 81, 67)

The Peacemakers d. Furious Youth to retain the TNA X-Tag Titles, The PsychoKillers interfere afterwards (46, 87, 66)

Divine Storm d. Five Star Attraction by Trinity interference (57, 96, 76)

Trinity gains 2 points overness because the fans wanted another female they could cheer

Tom Goddard v. John Walters

All I can say about this is...OUCH. What did Tom Goddard do to deserve a match like...oh yeah, the whole "live backstage fight" thing. Goddard had his bumping shoes on for the whole match, basically doing everything in his power to make John Walters look like an awesome worker. This followed as Walters virtually emasculated Goddard, with Goddard getting barely any offense in. The only time that Goddard got any offense in was when he managed to hit a My Final Heaven on Walters...which Walters kicked out of. At 1.Walters basically made Goddard his bitch in the ring from pillar to the Sharpshooter, where Goddard tapped, clean, in the center of the ring. Painful to watch if you're a Tom Goddard fan.

(55, 87, 71)

Tom Goddard loses 1 point of overness for how bad he was taken to the woodshed. Next time, don't play Galahad, mister...

John Walters gains 2 points overness for solidifying himself as New England's top wrestler

Over: 67

After the match, I headed limping to the backstage area (selling it) as Jocelyn kept yelling at me (also selling the match.) Once we disappeared into the backstage area, Jocelyn put on her "inside voice":

Jocelyn: "So...I take it that was your punishment match?"

"Yep- they wanted to do something to punish me for the crowd, we worked on something that would manage it well. This came out."

Jocelyn: "You know, my dad is going to KILL you when he watches XPlosion- he specifically told TNA not to job any wOw product to John..."

"Yeah- I wondered why he wanted that in the contract?"

Jocelyn: "From what I heard, dad just wants to protect wOw's image in New England- he wants to make us look like the most powerful workers in the region, I guess. I could see it- I mean, you can't build up wOw guys as the best in the region if they're jobbing to other stars in the region clean on national TV..."

"I guess. Too bad. Me and John put on a good match- I'd work with him again, if it wasn't for that little problem about it..."

Jocelyn: "I guess. Hey- keep me in the loop on how bad it is, okay?"

"Okay..." I left for home still a little uncertain on what that could mean.

[Chris the Human]

I love the way you wrote up 'goodbyes' for the BSW bound workers. I particularly enjoyed the Klansmen's goodbye to Leroy. Hilarious stuff

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

(Warning: The following is completely out of character in the story. But hey, no one's reading this stuff anyway, so it really doesn't matter WHAT the hell I do!

As I made it back to Rhode Island, I happened to get caught in a huge traffic jam. Seeing nothing better to do, I followed the jam as it made its way into Providence, then kept going as there was complete gridlock and people parking, then walking through. Thinking this was the best way to see it, I parked and headed through the crowd (already so dense only a couple of people recognized me and stopped me for autographs. When I got there, I saw a large amount of people taking over the area around the train station- only to see the wOw roster on top of the stage. Puzzled, I made my way to the stage, getting congratulated by a number of people along the way. Finally, taking a seat with the other wOw members, I saw Robbie go up to the stage...

Robbie: "Now, I know that all of you people here are here for one thing and one thing only: To get this Rally going. Now, most of the time, I tell everyone the major news for here in wOw. However, I think it's only justified this time that I turn the mic over to someone more in tune with this one than I am. Here now, I present to you, the members of Team wOw!" A group of staff writers headed to the front of the stage as the wOw head writer (a weird guy who always tells people to call him Reflecto) took the mic...

Reflecto: "Ladies and gentlemen...Memorialites...I come here to say to all of us...WE DID IT!!!!!" The crowd shot up a huge applause as a large amount of "DUB-OH-DUB!" chants hit.

Reflecto: "I just got the word from the Official Diary Dome Awards, and whacked Out wrestling Memorial is up for NINE NOMINATIONS in this awards ceremony!" The crowd cheered again as more "DUB-OH-DUB!" chants hit the stands.

Reflecto: "Now, I know there are plenty of other, more big name diaries that got more nominations, and many deserve them all. I know a lot of the diaries in our clique of the best pure comedy diaries on the Dome- us, the BSWs, the WEFs, and the like all got our fair share, and that's an amazing thing. But the most important thing: The pretenders to the crown of true comedy were weighed here, they were measured, and in the end, the power of the True Humor Revolution found those "other" feds wanting!" Another cheer, this time mixed with some "wOw, THEY SUCK!" chants occurred.

Reflecto: "So therefore, it's at this time when I, on behalf of all the members of Team wOw, would like to urge you the fans of wOw Memorial to go out there and vote on this go-round's Diary Dome Awards, at least in all the categories wOw Memorial is going for the win in. Show your support to the wildest, the weirdest, the most artistically sound, and the most innovative diary out there this time as we make our way to the top!" One more cheer, one more "DUB-OH-DUB!" chant, and we were done there. I saw the people stay a while as the applause kept going, then felt myself and some of the others go into Super-Deformed Mode...

SUPER-DEFORMED TOM GODDARD MOMENT! Remember, kiddies, be sure to vote for these in the following categories:

Best Overall Diary

Reflecto's The Complete Whacked Out Wrestling Memorial

Best Comedy Diary

Reflecto's The Complete Whacked Out Wrestling Memorial

Best Fictional Promotion Diary

Reflecto's The Complete Whacked Out Wrestling Memorial

Best Overall Writer

Reflecto

Best Promo Writer

Reflecto

Most Underrated Writer

Reflecto

Best Character in a Diary

Tom Goddard from Reflecto's The Complete Whacked Out Wrestling Memorial

Harry Potsmoker from Reflecto's The Complete Whacked Out Wrestling Memorial

Best Tag Team in a Diary

The Klansmen from chriswalkerbush's Berner Street Wrestling (yeah, all the real fans know they're BSW, but the voting considers them wOw product, so vote for them still!)

SD Jocelyn Richter: "So remember, wOwM fans, make sure to vote for wOw Memorial or I will cry! You don't want that on your conscience, now do you?"

_________________________________________________________________________________________

(Special Extra Super-Deformed Reflecto Hype Central (HYPE CENTRAL~!) Moment!

In what has been a sad thing I found last week [or a happy one, either way], it has been discovered that one of my assistants on Team wOw has managed to break through the glass ceiling and turn pro with their work, in the form of a new book that's apparently been out since August [and which I just found out about this week.] Wrestling fans already know of the works of this particular assistant to Team wOw, as this is the sick and twisted mind most notorious for the fake interview with Scott Steiner where he said he got his powers from Talsum and had a goal of "Squashing Cruiserweights and putting on long boring matches." Read his book- I didn't get to, but I know that the men of Team wOw are that damn good at what we do, so it's bound to be a page-turner.

You can get it at: Yanks go here

Brits go here

Now that that's done, allow me to drink myself to oblivion because my assistants are getting to turn pro with their work and I'm still left as a (top-rated) amateur... *goes off on three-day drinking binge*

InterKnight shows up, playing a violin...

InterKnight: "Please...Pay this boy to write...")

[Chris the Human]

Congrats on all of the nominations, mate. You've already got some votes from me

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

When I got to the show that Saturday, I was approached by Steve as I was entering the arena...

Steve: "Um, Tom...you might want to call in sick tonight. Robbie's on the warpath, and you are the target..."

"Crud. I take it he watched XPlosion?"

Steve: "Yeah, and from what I heard, he had a conniption fit afterwards. I could see it- I mean, come on. You did get rendered a pussy from that match..."

"I know, I know- it was my punishment match. Honestly, Robbie should thank me. I go out there, defend his daughter's honor on live TV. Afterwards, I take the punishment like a man, making it that much easier for him to put wOw product in the number-two federation in the country."

Steve: "I know, but what can I say. Robbie can be petty when his boys job to other New England product on national TV- I mean, look at Kevin. He was doing well here, agreed to job to Walters, and poof: the poor guy's virtually blackballed from wOw."

"Yeah, but you forget who you're talking to here..." I walked through the door somewhat confidently as Steve was left to wonder.

Steve: "Poor guy...the push is starting to go to his head, all right..." Once I walked through the door, Robbie stormed over to me as the people in back seemed to brace themselves. Surprisingly, I saw Robbie proceed to talk as though he was trying to bottle up a nuclear explosion...

Robbie: "Um...Tom, could you please come to my office...?" I felt almost like a lamb being led to slaughter as I walked into the office.

Robbie: "So, Tom...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?"

"Um, what is the problem, Mr.Richter, sir?"

Robbie: "DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME. YOU TAPPED FOR WALTERS ON XPLOSION THURSDAY! I SPECIFICALLY TOLD TNA THAT wOw GUYS CAN NOT JOB TO JOHN WALTERS IN HIS STREAK!"

"I know, I know. Listen, there's a reason for this..."

Robbie: "Oh, really? Let me sit down- this is going to be good..."

"TNA thought I got off too light with my 2 week suspension- they felt they needed to give me an on-screen punishment as well. As such, they had Walters squash me as my punishment. Simple as that."

Robbie: "Tommy...do you KNOW why it's so important for wOw workers to not job to John Walters?"

"Because you have some grudge against him because he won't work shows for you?"

Robbie: "No...it's a money thing. I don't know if you know this, but the New England indy scene can be pretty vicious. There's been a lot of decent indy feds, a lot of good indy workers- hell, I'd dare say that New England's the new Philadelphia when it comes to independent wrestling. Now, our biggest rivals are Chaotic Wrestling. Like it or not, Tommy, the fact remains: You're the crown jewel of whacked Out wrestling, and John Walters is the crown jewel of Chaotic Wrestling. Now, if Joe New England Wrestling fan turns on the TV to XPlosion and sees the biggest star in wOw losing to the biggest star in CW, he's going to think wOw's small-time, and as a result give his hard-earned dollar to go see Chaotic Wrestling shows. To tell the truth, I don't want that. Therefore, I told them when they made the idea to give Walters that undefeated streak gimmick- go for it if you must, but just don't make any wOw wrestlers fall victim to the streak. But when you jobbed to him, you basically threw that out- no matter what, our biggest star now looks like a chump compared to CW's biggest star. Do you understand the problem there?"

"I guess..."

Robbie: "SO WHY DID YOU LET THEM BOOK YOU LIKE THAT?"

"Um, because it was my punishment match? I pretty much HAD to job clean to him?"

Robbie: "You could have demanded it be someone different than Walters..."

"I tried to. TNA said that the punishment was biggest given the situation if it was Walters, though."

Robbie: "THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE REFUSED THE MATCH! Where are your priorities, anyway? I thought you were wOw first and foremost!"

"Oh, yes. I am SO sorry I didn't demand better treatment in a match TNA designed to PUNISH ME for an incident- oh, yeah, an incident I got into BECAUSE I WAS DEFENDING YOUR DAUGHTER'S HONOR, in case we forget..."

Robbie: "Oh, yes. I forget. Little Tommy gets so distraught over the girl he likes going with someone else that he does something like that. That's the trouble with you and the rest of the kids. wOw becomes hot, and now you all get pushed like you're veterans despite still have a LOT to learn about the wrestling business..."

"So what are you going to do to teach me, Sensei Robbie? Are you going to blackball me like you did Kevin? Because, Oh yeah, I AM the AWA World Champion, I AM a major player in NWATNA- I'm sure I can make my way even if you don't book me in wOw..."

Robbie: "Why would I stop booking you? Like I said, you ARE my number-one face..."

"Remember that, Robbie. Just remember- you may own the federation, but the reason your fed is a success is ME." I stormed out of the office and started to get ready as I saw Robbie put his head outside his office.

Robbie: "Excuse me, Joe? Could I talk to you for a second?" Joe headed into the office as Robbie quickly composed himself...

Robbie: "Ah. I'm sorry about this, Joe, but I need your help. You see, it's terrible. I try to keep track of my workers- keep them on the straight and narrow, make sure they're great on and offscreen, right? However, I'm honestly getting worried. I think that Tommy is...well, I'm worried that the push is going to his head. I need some help...you're facing him tonight. Can you...help him see exactly where his position is?"

Joe: "I'll try...what do you want me to do about it?"

Robbie: "Don't tell him I said it, but...I want you to beat some sense into him. Stiff him tonight- just enough so he knows who's boss. Teach him the lesson that he so desperately needs to learn here..."

Joe: "Okay...I'll do it...just make sure it's worth my while to do so..."

Robbie: "You got it..." Joe left Robbie's office as Flagship started...

wOw Flagship

Reynolds: "WELCOME TO wOw FLAGSHIP! Tonight's going to be an awesome show tonight, right here on Comedy Central!"

England: "That's right. In case you didn't know, wOw has a new World Champion! Alex Shelley put on a massive upset at last Monday's super-special Primetime over Steve Evans to win the belt. The only question- will he be able to keep it tonight, as Evans has instituted his contractual rematch clause for the belt tonight!"

Reynolds: "Let's get to the first match!"

Yu Phuc Dup v. Adam Windsor

Well, this was surprisingly good. Windsor has been improving somewhat, while Yu Phuc Dup...well, he's AWESOME and STIFF. REALLY Awesome and stiff. Do you like Japanese guys who drop their opponents on their heads? Well, Yu Phuc Dup dropped Windsor on his head a lot! Dropping Windsor on his head during clotheslines, Armdrags, Suplexes, Snapmares, you name the move, Yu Phuc Dup dropped Windsor on his head attempting it. Suddenly, Windsor got an advantage. However, something shiny in the crowd distracted him, allowing Yu Phuc Dup to hit the Press Slam '00 (the Billy Gunn Bodyslam that nearly crippled Chris Benoit) for the victory. Afterwards, the crowd chanted "YOU FUCKED UP!" as Yu Phuc Dup basked in the crowd's (adulation?)

Reynolds: "Now, let's get over to the wOw Flagship party, where I believe that one of wOw's newest wrestlers is standing by!" Just then, a huge party with fans, wOwheads, and the occasional cow was going on as a familiar face to BSW fans was there...

Fosters: "G'Day, RD! This here's VB Fosters, one of your newest members of the wOw roster. Now, I know we were sent here to wrestle, but I personally realized what I truly love is right here: Partying, drinking, and just showing you Yanks how to PARTY! Now, let's get this show on the road!" Just then, a scene occurred of a wild party, with Fosters drinking a lot of beer with a lot of different people as some jaunty tunes kept playing for the fans.

Fosters: "This is a wild party, guys! I'm gonna enjoy myself some more- whacked Out wrestling, I love you! Let's go back to the show!"

(68)

VB Fosters gains 2 points overness because it seems Reflecto found a use for him after all

After that, the wOwTron showed the Flagship opening song/video as wOw head writer Reflecto came down to the ring.

England: "What is this about, RD?"

Reynolds: "I don't know, but it looks big..." Reflecto took the mic...

Reflecto: "Thank you, wOw fans! Now, I know all of you people are here for one reason. Because wOw Memorial is probably the best diary for innovation on the planet. Somewhere along the line, this little artistically sound project became what everyone on Team wOw KNEW it would be- the best damn humor diary on the Dome right now. And it's because of this that I thank all of you for making us what it is today.

However, I come here not just to celebrate wOw, but to talk about one of our enemies in the humor diary market. I speak of a diary that is not in our league, and yet somehow is considered on our level. I speak of a diary that it is our duty to put in its place as one of the backup dogs in our yard. Tonight, I intend to do just that.

Wrestling Edge Federation, you have rocked for a long, long time. However, 2005, the year of wOw, is still going on, and it's time for you to feel the wrath of wOw Memorial- to realize that this sweet little love story has a sour aftertaste.

I promised all the wOw Memorial fans that I had a big development for them, and well- here it is. I promised there was nothing the victim could do about it, and there isn't. And now, it's time for this moment.

TAKE HEED, WEF: FROM HELL'S HEART I STAB AT THEE!" Just then, Reflecto made a motion to the top of the ramp as the lights shut off. Just then, the Flagship video and theme song hit again as the lights came up and a convertible bus drove into the arena...

Reflecto: "Hey, Beeky, you might want to check how you make your contracts, because I JUST STOLE 4 OF YOUR WORKERS!" Just then, Candice, Jason Norcross, Bobby Rude, and The Count walked out of the bus and took places in the ring next to Reflecto.

Reflecto: "Welcome, travelers, TO WHERE THE BIG BOYS PLAY!"

Candice: "Tee hee-Fleecy? Does this meany those girly-girls were wrong that I'd get some competytition? I wantyed to testy-est myself againsters the bestest womens in the Diary-ry Domey!"

Reflecto: "Oh, trust me- you'll get your shot against the best women money can buy!"

Candice: "Yippie-skippy! Gotta love me!"

Reflecto: "(Oog...what hath Joseph Smith wrought...) And you, Rude...are you prepared to face off with some of the best competition in the independent scene?"

Rude: "W-well...uh, um, t-the wrestlers...they're, uh, they're really go-good...b-but, I'll...t-try my b-best to be an uh, ass-asset to wOw..."

Reflecto: "And Count...you never manage to catch as much of a break there as you should have. I've seen your work in the All-Star Game. The question is- can you make it big here in wOw?"

Count: "Ha ha! Me gettink to the top echelon of wOw vill be as easy as Vun Thousand, Vun Million, THREE!"

Reflecto: "And now you. Jason Norcross. An original WEFer, just like Candice. What are your plans when you head to the new school of the Diary Dome?"

Norcross: "Well, it's simple, Flec...my plan when I get here is simple. I'm going to assimilate to wOw, and make Beek pay that when he made my contract, he made it so there was, to paraphrase, NO EXCLUSIVE DEAL FOR NORCROSS!"

Reflecto: "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I AM THE DESTROYER OF ALL WORLDS! I AM THE ONLY WRITER THAT MATTERS! I AM REFLECTO!"

(74)

Noah England gains 1 point overness, um, for really, REALLY making this sound like something special

After the break, HeartBurnKid and Austin Aries were in the ring starting a match. However, after a short period of time (roughly 1 INDY APPLAUSE STANCE~!), Jamie Koeppe showed up on the ramp. Koeppe took the mic...

Koeppe: "OWWWWWWWWW...my knee...too hurt to do this, but I have to suck it up...People of wOw. We interrupt your regularly-scheduled match to give you something different. I give you instead, a special show featuring our newest members- the two baddest men in Australia, now coming here to America to destroy your idols- they are 100% destruction personified, they are: RODNEY MACK, JESUS AGUILERA- SMACKDOWN!" Just then, Mack and Aguilera rushed the ring and attacked HBK and Aries, leading to a no-contest...

(68)

Austin Aries gains 1 point overness. *sigh* He suffers so beautifully...

VB Fosters gains 1 point overness because he's getting the crowd so drunk they don't even know where they are

HeartBurnKid gains 2 points overness because he's homegrown and that just happens with homegrown guys

Smackdown v. HeartBurnKid and Austin Aries

Well, this was a particularly commonplace match. Thrown-together team of glorified jobbers versus a big-ticket new team. Who's going to win? Rodney Mack and Jesus Aguilera showed all the talent they did in BSW, while HBK and Aries teamed up surprisingly well for a new team. The match was mostly: Smackdown punishes, HBK and Aries take it. Eventually, Austin Aries got an advantage and started to attack. However, before he could, Jamie Koeppe headed to the referee and held her neck. The referee put up an X and tried to look after Koeppe- allowing Smackdown to lay into Aries with steel chairs, then easily cover him for the victory.

C1M4 d. Frankie Kazarian by Jared Steele interference, Hawk Younkins runs in for the save (64, 88, 68)

After the match, Sir Quincy Penfold III was backstage and took the mic...

Penfold: "Excuse me- does this microphone work? Anyway, I finally made it here to the great place of wOw. To tell you people the truth, I am not very impressed. I mean, I come from the most proper country in the world, Great Britain. I look here, and British workers- well, they don't have much good luck here, now do they? I see mostly you American people- people who wish they were British. But then, I saw something that makes me sick. I saw that you did have some good, noble British people, and I thought I might have some kindred spirits here...until I chanced to see what they were all about. I saw three of the vilest, scruffiest people anyone could lay eyes on. Two self-acknowledged fans of that noise they call "punk rock" music- hardly something any proper person should listen to, and then they go around attacking people with weapons, giving people Drop Toeholds onto Chairs, and the like. The worst part was- they happened to brainwash a young lady of the Crown into following their lies and leaving her like some common tart there to cheer their little games! Well, I am here to tell all of you fans that I have come to show people what the great people of Britain are TRULY like. We're not all wannabe punk rockers like those...pretenders British Violence. Most of us happen to have taste, thank you very much. That is my piece, and now I bid you all...good day..."

(44)

Judging from how low the segment was, Sir Quincy Penfold III gains 5 points of overness by some miracle

After the match, I saw Steve come over to me...

Steve: "So, you're still alive, huh? Anyway- you basically know both the girls in this match. Who'll you cheer for?"

Lori Angel

Ayako Hamada<----

Ayako Hamada d. Lori Angel to retain the National Women's Title by Sir Quincy Penfold III interference, Ironwood runs in for the save

After the match...

Lori: "Oh, so that's it, is it? Ye're into those Asian chicks now, are ye? Eh, I love ya, Tommy- I'll letcha off with a warning this time..."

Ayako: "Ah. You honor me by cheering me in my match, Tom. I only hope it was good enough for your standards..." (LOVE-LOVE INCREASE)

Chance Beckett d. Spanky to retain wOw International Title (71, 91, 72)

Samoa Joe v. Tom Goddard

This match...well, the crowd LOVED it. This could have easily been a main event in any indy fed in the world, getting the crowd reaction of many Raw main events. The match itself didn't seem so bad either, albeit it was a bit of a styles clash. Nothing I didn't expect from Joe and Goddard, but this was more so. It seemed like Samoa Joe was following more of a Strong-Style slant to the match, while Goddard was doing more of an X-Division style 'Flippity Floppity' match. As such, the match started as an even mix of styles and quickly degenerated to "Samoa Joe Beats Tom Goddard Like He Stole Something." The match was almost brutal in a way, as it seemed like Goddard was honestly lost during most of the match. It was strange- I didn't know Samoa Joe to take many liberties on workers, but this time he took a lot of them. The ending seemed almost forced, as Goddard seemed to quickly go up top for the 450 Splash, only to have Joe grab some brass knuckles and lay a shot onto Goddard that left him juicing hardway, then covering him for a cocky three count. After the match, the paramedics came out and took Goddard to the back as Joe posed to massive heat from the fans. Not half bad...

(87,84, 77)

After that match, I was pretty much out of it there. I was told afterwards that I probably had my bell rung during the match, which definitely sucked. I mean, I don't do strong-style. Everyone knows that- that's why they put me in normal matches. It seemed like Samoa Joe took advantage of me- but why? I didn't do anything to him that I knew of. I couldn't really think of a reason now- it was time to recuperate. I saw Jocelyn head over to my bedside and tell me the result of the last match...

Steve Evans d. Alex Shelley by Veronica Diamond interference to win the wOw World Title, Jeff Hardy interferes afterwards (77, 86, 72)

Over: 66

After I heard that, I felt good enough to talk...

"Oww...what happened? Joe...that bastard..."

Jocelyn: "Yeah. How could he stiff you like that? It wasn't advertised as strong style. Anyway, you need to stay the night- can't risk you sleeping though. Some of the others are coming after a little bit of autograph signing, but I stayed with them- so I can do my part to keep you up all night..."

"Ooh...Dear Diary: JACKPOT..." Just then, I saw Jocelyn take a piece of paper out, write something on it, and give it to me...

<<"IOU one hit designed to send you into the stratosphere, you BAKA!">>

"Aww, come on...I'm injured, here..."

Jocelyn: "Yeah, yeah...oh, look. Some of the others have come over. Let's keep you up." We stayed up having a decent enough mini-party, aside from the whole "possible minor injuries" thing. Eventually, I asked a question...

"Um...how am I going to make it to the TNA PPV tomorrow?" Everyone then looked at me and replied:

All: "GUNDAM! ATTACK!" Just then, I saw the Suspension of Disbelief Gundam crush through the wall and head for me...

[Chris the Human]

I told you Sir Quincy Penfold III was bad, but you still wanted him. How did you get a decent segment out of VB Fosters!?

[RavenBlack]

Steve Evans d. Alex Shelley by Veronica Diamond interference to win the wOw World Title, Jeff Hardy interferes afterwards (77, 86, 72)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

While we're waiting for the Super-Protagonist-Mega-Healing Power to take effect, let's go to where the Heat showing is being taped. There, Joey and John were heading to the arena together...

Hamm: "So, rejecting your humanity is really the way to go?"

Roche: "Oh yeah, man. I swear by it. I was thinking- yeah, complete mumbo-jumbo too, but then I tried rejecting it in order to make Chiyo-chan cry one day- poof. Next day, WWE comes calling to give me my development deal!"

Hamm: "Yeah, well I still can't believe in these things. If you want a break, you need to earn it by skill..."

Roche: "Don't knock it, man- you really should try this stuff..." Just then, the two pulled up to the arena, where Shane Goddard was waiting for them...

Goddard: "Hey, John, Joey...I've got some bad news for you..."

Hamm: "Let me guess- we're booked to lose tonight?"

Goddard: "Oh no. In that area, you two are booked to win your tag match. The bad news is- you were booked, period."

Roche: "Why's that bad news?"

Goddard: "I was hearing Triple H talk to Vince on his cell after the house show last night. I heard the gist of the message was that the top brass thinks Raw's roster is pretty clogged right now, so they're going to start some roster cuts on Raw- they'll probably go down as early as tonight after the show."

Hamm: "I see...and?"

Goddard: "Well, I don't know how to put it to you guys, but...they said that everyone who's being booked on Heat tonight are the ones they're considering releasing. According to them, only four workers' jobs are safe who'll appear tonight, and that's because all four are making their WWE debut- and even in their cases, if they don't wow the brass, they'll be sent back to OVW."

Roche: "That sucks, man."

Goddard: "I know. My teammate Blackman's also on the list of walking wounded- he's pretty panicky about that."

Hamm: "And you, Shane?"

Goddard: "Oh, don't worry about me- I'm not on the card. My job's secure for now. Anyway, I just felt it was best to let you guys know as soon as possible. I doubt it'll be a problem- I mean, you two are awesome workers. And hey, even if worst-case scenario happens, I know Robbie'll take you back with open arms, so you'd bounce back..."

Roche: "That's not helping us, Shane..."

Goddard: "Anyway, I've got to run...I'll talk to you after the show..." Shane left as John and Joey looked at each other.

Roche: "So, what are we going to do?"

Hamm: "Same thing we always do, Johnny boy...show WWE that we're their hottest prospects right now." The two shook hands as the show started...

WWE Heat

Collyer-3000 d. J.R. Ryder (57, 91, 74)

After the break, The Coach was in Eric Bischoff's office when Nunzio headed in with a partner (recognizable as Eric Mastrocola)...

Coach: "Hey, Nunzio! What can I do for you?"

Nunzio: "Hey, listen, I was havin' a little problem, see? Ya know, I got drafted in that whole dealy to get me here on Raw, ya know, but there's only one little thing- I ain't never getting a match on here! I mean, come on! I'm ready to show what I can do, ya know, but I wanna be able to kick some asses! So that's why, tonight, you're gonna do me and my associate Mister Mastrocola here a favor, and we're going to get us a match tonight!"

Coach: "Hey, wait...I don't have that kind of power here..." Mastrocola then looked at him...

Mastrocola: "Too bad, Coach...say, you have some beautiful thumbs here...it'd be a shame if anything were to HAPPEN to them, if you get my drift..."

Coach: "Okay, okay...I've got it. Tonight, on Johnathan Coachman's Sunday Night Heat, A Division Of Eric Bischoff's Monday Night Raw, you two will face..." Mastrocola looked down at Coach's thumbs... "um...uh...The Naturals! Is that...good enough?"

Nunzio: "Eh, it'll pass. Come on, Mr.Mastrocola- let's get ready for our match..." The two left as Coachman breathed a sigh of relief...

(57)

Eric Mastrocola gained 3 points of overness for an impressive debut...

The Full Blooded Italians (Nunzio/Eric Mastrocola) d. The Naturals (56, 90, 73)

Jorge Estrada d. Steve Bradley (57, 80, 68)

Alex Shane d. Kid Romeo by Stacy Keibler interference (54, 74, 64)

Kid Romeo loses 1 point of overness for a fairly poor match

Alex Shane gains 4 points overness. There may be hope for him yet...

Human Behavior d. Sean Casey and Chris Michaels (52, 89, 70)

Al Snow d. Marty Jannetty (66, 66, 65)

The New Breed (Sedrick/Roderick Strong) d. Lethal and Wylde by Melina Strong interference (46, 86, 66)

Race Steele d. Brian Christopher (62, 71, 66)

Crowbar d. Steve Blackman (61, 81, 71)

Val Venis d. X-Pac (69, 79, 74)

X-Pac loses 2 points of overness because 1998 called and its sick of him

Val Venis gains 2 points of overness because 1998 called, but it's not sick of him yet

Over: 66

After the show, people were still worried. Some of the people on the card proceeded to head to the offices, waiting to see if they were released. Having some sound minds and a laptop with them, Joey and John proceeded to head to WWE.com and check on their website for new goings-on...

WWE.Com

-WWE releases 14

World Wrestling Entertainment informs its fans that they have released the following workers:

-Cassidy O'Reilly

-Biomonster HOSS

-Jorge Estrada

-Steve Bradley

-Kid Romeo

-Al Snow

-Marty Jannetty

-Race Steele

-Brian Christopher

-Anni King

-Reese

-Rory Fox

-In addition, World Wrestling Entertainment would like to inform its fans that they were unable to come to an agreement to extend the contracts of Trish Stratus and Batista. WWE wishes them the best of luck in their future endeavors.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next night, I felt slightly better. Apparently, a little Arsenic and a lot of old-fashioned main character has an insane healing power can be a good thing. Jocelyn stayed with me through it, driving down with me to make sure everything happens. That was definitely a good thing. Honestly, it's when a girl you really care for is willing to take the time to make sure you make it back to full health, it really reiterates the fact that, in this case, I truly would like to bang her like she was a screen door during a hurricane...

Jocelyn: "Um...Tom? Are you all right?"

"Sure, I feel fine- why?"

Jocelyn: "If you're feeling better- I can finally give you this..." Just then, Jocelyn sent me into the stratosphere. "THAT'S FOR LAST NIGHT, BAKA!" Then things like that happen, and I get sent back to reality. When I entered the offices, I was approached by Vince Russo...

Russo: "Oh, good to see you, Tom- I saw you flying in..."

"Yeah yeah...what'd you want to speak to me about?"

Russo: "Well, me and the writing staff think it was XTREME~! of you to job to Walters as completely as you did, so we're planning to do more. We were going to have Bad Luck lose the feud to 3 Live Kru tonight, but now we think we'll have you go over instead."

"I see..."

Russo: "Now, you'll still lose the Tag Titles, of course, but not for a little bit. Probably on XPlosion or next Sunday." This confused me. If we were going to lose the belts, why give us the win?

"But then why give us the victory?"

Russo: "Well, we want to get you and Jayce over. I can't go into all the details now, but we want to get you established enough to be Jerry Lynn's next major feud. He's been DYING to work with you, you know..."

"Excellent. It sounds good."

Russo: "Thanks..." I left him and headed over to the rest of the US-2 guys as they were getting ready...

Simmons: "So, Tom, what was that about?"

"Not too much- they said you and I will be going over to get us prepared. Apparently, they want me to go up against Jerry Lynn next feud..." Just then, I saw Slim J get shocked.

Slim J: "Dude...are you serious? You're being groomed as Lynn's next feud?"

"Um, yeah- why?"

Slim J: "Well, Jason and I were talking, and he told me that his run's mostly a trial reign- something to see how the fans take to him as champion in preparation for a larger reign in the future. He'll be dropping it back to Lynn at the end of this feud. If what you're saying is correct, you're in line for a feud for the World Title!"

"Yeah, well- I don't take to getting these feuds until they occur, myself. Anyways, good luck with your match..."

Slim J: "Thanks. You too!" Slim J headed out to the ring as we headed to watch...

NWATNA PPV

Stevie Fabulous d. Slim J by Jacques Rougeau Jr. interference (50, 100, 75)

After the match, Jay Matthews was in the ring and grabbed a mic...

Matthews: "Thank you, thank you. I love all the ladies here in NWATNA. Now, the Human Hype here's been noticing some problems. I've been getting all the accolades, getting all the honeys, and living la vida loca, if you will, but my main problem is- despite my skills, I haven't been challenged! I'm BORED! So I figured, hey- I am the 2004 TNA.Com rookie of the year- I decided I'll do all these fans a favor and get rid of the old, dead weight in wrestling. So I am hereby making an open challenge to ANY legend of wrestling to come out here and face the NEXT Legend of Wrestling, myself, The Human Hype Jay Matthews!" Matthews waited...until Hacksaw Jim Duggan came out and attacked. Duggan smashed Matthews with his 2X4 and took the mic...

Duggan: "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You wanna mess with a legend, TOUGH GUY? Well, mess with me! HOOOOOOOOOOO! U-S-A! U-S-A!" (78)

Jay Matthews gains 1 point of overness because it finally appears Reflecto's going to do something with him

After the break, Jocelyn Richter was backstage...

Richter: "Mike, Don, I am here tonight with two of the finest wrestlers in NWATNA today- your reigning X Division Champion, the Youngest World Champion in History- together, they're the NWA Tag Team Champions, my boys, Bad Luck. Guys, what's been going on?"

Simmons: "Well, Jocelyn, it seems there's a real problem with our matches recently. I mean, I know we had a little layoff due to that...unpleasantness...but we're still the champs, and we're still ready to rock."

Goddard: "I mean, you put it best, m'lady...we are the cornerstone tag team in TNA. One of us is the X-Division champion, and the other is..." Just then, 3 Live Kru came to the scene...

Killings: "...relegated to the files of being a little bitch by John Walters last Thursday?"

Goddard: "Why...you...I was not ready for such a ruffian. I was a little rusty from my layover, that is all. Nothing these people need to worry about...I'm back on my form NOW..."

Killings: "Oh, yeah? Well, then- I'm sure you wouldn't mind putting those belts up against us, now would you?"

Simmons: "Oh, come on- we've beaten you so much it's not even fun anymore. Give us a challenge..."

Goddard: "No, no, wait, young Jayce...I'll give them a challenge. We'll give you...one more shot. Win, you get the belts. Lose, you NEVER get a shot as long as we're champs. Deal?" 3 Live Kru looked at each other.

James: "Deal. Oh, and one more question- this goes to your pet interviewer..."

Richter: "Yes?"

Lollipop: "Well, Miss Richter...What did the five fingers say to the face?" Before Richter could answer, Lollipop slapped the taste out of her to the fans' applause as it went to the ring.

Lollipop: "I'M BG JAMES' BITCH!" (74)

Ron Killings loses 2 points overness because he really deserves better

Bad Luck v. 3 Live Kru

Well, this was pretty much the standard match. 3 Live Kru proved their average stuff- nothing out of the ordinary, nothing extraordinary, just...there. Bad Luck proceeded to show they didn't miss a beat for the most part. It looked like 3 Live Kru was trying desperately to make Tom Goddard look like a star in the match- important, since he was basically pussified by his last outing and needed a good showing here. Bad Luck proceeded to use a number of dazzling moves. Eventually, BG James went for the "Charlie Murphy!" punches, only for Tom Goddard to reverse it into an Arm Dragon Screw. Jocelyn Richter then threw the X-Division title in the ring, which Jayce Simmons Missile Dropkicked into Ron Killings's face while Tom Goddard locked the Final Fantasy on BG James. James tapped, giving Bad Luck a big victory.

(81, 84, 82)

Jayce Simmons gains 6 points of overness for basically making himself a star to watch in TNA with this feud

Tom Goddard gains 6 points of overness to solidify himself as a star to build around in TNA

BG James loses 9 points of overness because the bookers are COLD-BLOODED...

Ron Killings loses 9 points of overness to officially signal this as a time for a new guard in TNA

Altar Boy Luke d. Sonjay Dutt by Altar Boy Matthew interference (44, 92, 68)

Altar Boy Matthew gains 1 point of overness for people remembering he's a HEEL~!

After the break, Konnan came to the ring and took the mic...

Konnan: "YO YO YO! ORALEY! LEMME SPEAK ON THIS! Now, I know that me and the 3LK got a lot of different people trying to hate on us, so I needed to call up a couple of my boys to watch out for us. Henceforth, I give you two of my personal homies- JUVENTUD GUERRERA, SUPER CRAZY- LA RAZA!" A Mexican-sounding theme came as a cheer came up from the fans for NWATNA signing the two indy standouts to deals as they waited for their opponents.

La Raza (Juventud Guerrera/Super Crazy) d. The West Hollywood Blondes (71, 84, 77)

Teddy Hart d. Jerry Lynn by Jason Cross interference (72, 89, 80)

Jeff Jarrett d. Konnan (78, 87, 82)

Jason Cross d. Sting to retain NWA World Championship- Jerry Lynn interferes after match (89, 73, 84)

Sting loses 1 point overness for putting over new blood

Jason Cross gains 1 point overness for the hand up by Sting

Over: 77

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next night, I felt a little disappointed as I headed over to the AWAMLW TV tapings. Somehow, going in there and knowing I wouldn't be glomped to death by Kari-Chan made it kind of a downer. Alex headed over to greet me, but that didn't seem like a good thing...

Shelley: "(So, still trying to deal with losing Kari to BSW?)"

"(Yeah, kind of...)"

Shelley: "(Don't worry. It's all for the best. Dry your eyes...)" Just then, the worst possible part of going to Alex's mind for advice occurred, as Raven floated over and gave Alex a Love-Love filled version of what appeared to be that Psycho Crusher move M.Bison used in old-school Street Fighter II...

Black: "LOVELOVELOVELOVEONIICHANLOVELOVELOVELOVE..."

"(Oog...that's not a good thing to see, man...)"

Shelley: "(Awww...you're still a little hurt. I'll fix that...)" Alex started to speak... "Um, Raven- Tom's still a little uneasy following the trade...could you get over there and glomp him a bit?" Raven looked at me, seeing my puzzled face, and then looked back...

Black: "Sorry, Tom...I only glomp my Oniichan. No one else!" Phew...dodged a bullet there. Chance headed over to me afterwards- which was lucky. Going over the match will get my mind off of this...

Beckett: "So, Tom, I was checking the plans for our match tonight- you're okay with pretty much a scaled-down version of our usual matches, right? I mean, we're going out there for the big show in a few weeks, so we need to save the best for last..."

"You know it, man. Any differences?"

Beckett: "Well, there is going to be a big debut at the end of the match...I don't think any of them will see it coming."

"What are we talking?"

Beckett: "Well, I heard that (WAH WAH...) accepted a (WAH WAH...)...just left (WAH WAH...), signed a pretty good deal. One of a few who (WAH WAH) and signed to AWAMLW, in fact...they worked this ending spot out just for his debut."

"Hold up...(WAH WAH?) I can see why, but the fans are going to shit on that! He looks nothing like me, and he's not so over that it'll make a difference..."

Beckett: "But he's a big steal from (WAH WAH!) He may not be much, but they'll look at it and see that AWAMLW stole somebody from (WAH WAH) who was supposed to be on (WAH). I'm loving it, myself."

"Well, I guess you're right. Well, let's get ready to give them a match to forget about (WAH WAH WAH's) Wrestlecrappy nature..." I headed over to the Gorilla position. Along the way, I saw Frankie and Mike talking to one of the writers about their angle...

Kazarian: "Boss, I think we may have a weapon..."

James: "What is it, young Frankie?"

Sullivan: "We were working out our match with Bobby and Austin...Alex was over there talking to the champ...and his sister...she headed over to him..."

Kazarian: "Shelley's sister's an Esper, we're sure of it!" James looked at the two...

James: "Oh, really? This girl...why do you say that?"

Sullivan: "I saw her floating over towards her brother to hug him, and I got this weird vibe while she was doing it. It was definitely weird powers..."

James: "Oh, really? Well, in that case, I am sure that our...'talent relations' bureau should look into signing this girl- she'd make a great addition to our ranks..."

Kazarian: "But boss, I saw her work in wOw- she's rudimentary in the ring, and not charismatic enough for a major fed yet..." Just then, Sullivan and James looked at him... "Oh...OH...my bad, my bad..."

AWAMLW Underground

Paul Burchill d. Black Dragon (16, 81, 48)

After the match, Black Dragon got up and tried to leave the ring- only to have Burchill continue his assault. Paul Burchill beat Dragon up to the ringpost, then got him to the top- then hit a C4 on him. Afterwards, Burchill stared at the camera and held one finger up as Underground went to break...

After the break, Ariel was backstage with Paul Burchill...

Ariel: "Paul Burchill, you were just impressive in your AWAMLW debut just moments ago..." Burchill stopped her afterwards...

Burchill: "Ariel, Ariel, Ariel. You people can save your oohs and aahs for later. I'm just here to tell one person something. You don't know who you are...but I do. I've known what I was going to do to you for a long time now. And now, the year of 2005 is the year that I will find you and take you down. Now, you're not going to know who you are just yet- oh no. I'm going to let you twist in the wind. I'm going to be here, destroying whatever person AWAMLW puts in my path. You're eventually going to forget this interview- just the passing whim of some jobber. But know this: When you feel a little wind whistle down your back, that's going to be my breathing. When you feel like you're being watched, those will be my eyes. And then one day- granted, likely a day way off into the future, but one day, when you've forgotten all about this and are in a lull of serenity...I will strike. And then, on that day, I will destroy you completely, totally, and utterly. And to anyone who has the misfortune to face me beforehand- well, I can't be held responsible for any of your broken bones..."

Paul London d. Scoot Andrews (62, 87, 74)

The Redemption Crew d. The Heatseekers (46, 86, 66)

After the match, Jared Steele came to the ring and attacked the Redemption Crew with a steel chair. Steele laid waste to the Kazarian only to have Sullivan come to the ring and yell...

Sullivan: "Now, for our secret weapon...our newest member. ATTACK!" Just then, a familiar face to WWE fans rushed out from the stands...

Richter: "Wait...that can't be! He's supposed to work for WWE!"

Styles: "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! HORSHU IS BACK IN THE AWA! HORSHU HAS RETURNED!"

Horshu proceeded to attack Jared Steele, finally hitting a Shu-icide on him as the three Redemption Crew members stood triumphant above him.

John Zandig and Xavier draw via Christopher Daniels interference

After the match, Daniels took the mic...

Daniels: "Now, people, THIS is what happens to those who try to play games with the AWAMLW. I see one of these guys, Zandig- him and his little yardtard wannabes ary trying to take the MLW out of AWAMLW. And then this little punk, Xavier- he plays like he's some new guy to WWE, but I've seen him every week on Ring of Honor. I don't doubt this guy's a spy for the other side, trying to get on with taking us down from the inside. Newsflash: THAT WON'T HAPPEN. The true AWA is home to the best new wrestlers in the world- people like myself, people like Bryan Danielson, like Chance Beckett, like Frank Shamrock...hell, even people like Potsmoker, Shelley, and Finale if you want to get technical about things. AWAMLW MADE those stars, and when you have a roster like that at the top, there's no way that some two-bit Philly garbage fed or some second-raters owned by a pedophile could take us down. So TRY and mess with AWAMLW- I dare you! And THAT is the Gospel according to the Fallen Angel!"

Justin Credible d. Mirko Cro Cop (69, 97, 83)

After the break, Chance Beckett headed out to the ring to a good amount of cheers. Beckett waited in the ring. Just then, "Faithless" hit as Harry Potsmoker headed to the ring carrying his AWA World Title to a huge roar of noise- some positive, some negative, but all LOUD.

Richter: "The champ is here, Joey! Show some respect!"

Styles: "God...I would like to punch you..."

(AWA World) Harry Potsmoker v. Chance Beckett

Okay. You know what Potsmoker and Beckett can do. I know what Potsmoker and Beckett can do. DOGS know what Potsmoker and Beckett can do. So why are we getting into this? You know that this was an amazing match. The crowd is getting hotter and hotter for their matches every day, and with good reason: They're AWESOME. Nice spots abounded as they gave almost a slimmed-down version of their match in some ways. Eventually, the action spilled outside the ring. Death Eaters lined the outside as Potsmoker and Beckett fought their way to the backstage area. There was no sign of either of them for a couple minutes...until Beckett came back, this time fighting Potsmoker again.

Only problem: This wasn't the Potsmoker that the fans knew, as this was someone more muscular, slightly tanner, wearing somewhat different tights...oh yeah, and had on a really, REALLY cheesy Harry Potter mask apparently left over from Halloween. The two fought their way back into the ring, where Chance Beckett proceeded to hit a Chance Encounter on "Potsmoker" and got an easy 3. The crowd roared as Beckett held up the AWA World Title...only to see the real Potsmoker rush down to the ring and attack.

Styles: "TWO POTSMOKERS? OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!"

Richter: "You've got that right.I've known Harry a little while- I never knew if he had a twin brother, so something must be up!"

Potsmoker struck and attacked the fake Potsmoker, locking him in the Killing Curse while pulling off his mask to reveal someone similar...

Richter: "Wait a minute...I recognize that guy! That's Race Steele! What's he doing impersonating Harry Potsmoker?"

Styles: "Try asking the WWE that question, Geoffrey!" Potsmoker showed the referee the phony...only to have the match overturned and the title returned to him. Beckett and Steele looked angry as the show ended...

(91,91,90)

Over: 74

After the show, I was still a little shocked. I went over to Chance and Race...

"Now THAT'S an ending for a show, man..."

Steele: "You're telling me. I thought my career was done when they gave me that bad ripoff gimmick in WWE- how was I to know I'd be picked up by another major fed solely because of it?" The three of us walked by, only to see Raven come over excited.

Black: "YEE! I was just told by one of the writers- AWAMLW wants to offer me a huge contract, Tom! Now I can be with Alex-Oniichan...and have more reason to come here...and it'll be great! Just watch!"

"That's great, Raven. Now you'll have to keep yourself in check here..."

Black: "Geez, you sound just like my brother, Tom."

"No problem. So, who are you going to work with?"

Black: "They're putting me with Frankie and Mike- apparently, they're in need of a manager, so I'll be doing it. I'm excited- heels get to have all the fun!" I saw her leave giddily as I seemed a little curious why they'd put her with those two...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

( Reflecto's Notes:

It's official. After two years on the Diary Dome, wOw Memorial has finally become a scenario for your gameplay enjoyment!

Now you can enjoy all your wOw Memorial favorites in EWR, without all that pesky "artistic license", weird characters, and "story" that that Reflecto is so fond of!

THRILL! As you attempt to make some sense of the tangled web Reflecto turned the diaries into for wOw Memorial!

PLAY! As you begin to choose your destiny to greatness.

SEE! All the weird little extras Reflecto worked in his attempt to make you, the wOwMemo fan get a great story!

These are sure to be the hottest scenarios in the Diary Dome right now (all right, just because GBW, LAW, and BVS have already been long-since downloaded), and will be RED HOT!

Now coming in 4 distinct options (COLLECT ALL 4! COLLECT ALL FOUR!):

AWAMLW: Can you keep Harry Potsmoker at the top of the AWA in spite of all the people attempting to bring him down to earth? Or will you join the many, many people who have it out for him and the rest of the Death Eaters? Or will you play as an entirely different fed entirely? (But why would you want to do that?/applications/core/interface/file/attachment.php?id=3166">AWAMLW.zip

NWATNA: The new "Number Two" fed in the country now, TNA is making a killing off its mix of great in-ring action and legendary fans. Will you continue to feed the rise of the hot young stars making their names in TNA? Or will you do the normal thing and keep Jarrett at the top of the NWA, AMW at the top of the Tag Division, and so forth? /applications/core/interface/file/attachment.php?id=3167">NWATNA.zip

WWE: RAW : One half of the biggest company in the world, Raw has gotten a bit more whacked out recently with stars such as Shane Goddard, Joey Hamm, and John Roche taking off on the show. With NWATNA nipping at its heels, can you make Raw the show that Everyone wants to watch on Monday Nights again? /applications/core/interface/file/attachment.php?id=3168">RAW.zip

wOw: The basis for our little story- this little engine that could keeps slowly blossoming into the hottest independent federation in the country. With a mixture of some of the best homegrown workers in professional wrestling today and a knack for finding diamonds in the rough that rivals the Oakland A's in its skill, whacked Out wrestling has been proving that indy wrestling doesn't live and die in Philadelphia. Now, with most of its biggest homegrown stars getting looked at by major feds, can you keep the spirit of whacked Out wrestling whole while keeping its momentum building? /applications/core/interface/file/attachment.php?id=3169">wOw.zip

Well, those are the scenarios. As always, we remind you: Download the wOw Memorial Scenarios or our girls will cry. You don't want that on your conscience, do you? DO YOU?)

AWAMLW.zip

NWATNA.zip

RAW.zip

wOw.zip

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

wOw Primetime

As Primetime started, Rising Son headed to the ring with a relatively serious viewpoint to himself.

Reynolds: "This'll be a big match, PT- Rising Son's one of the many superstars wOw received in the big trade, and he'd just love to make a name for himself here in wOw just like he did in BSW!"

PT: "I know, but he has another talented opponent tonight- Yu Phuc Dup is just awesome and stiff!"

RD: "No, he's sloppy and drops people on their heads. There's a difference..."

PT: "Not in my eyes, RD!" Just then, Yu Phuc Dup headed to the ring (tripping on the ramp on his way out) and headed to the ring for the big match opener.

Rising Son d. Yu Phuc Dup by Red Lotus interference

After the match, Rising Son and Red Lotus shook hands as Rising Son took the mic...

Son: "Ah. For too long, the talented workers from the East have been overlooked here in wOw. Never again will this occur. For me and this flower Red Lotus will be the first to show you the skill of a new era- the era...of Klub Kamikaze!" The two posed for the crowd as the show cut to the wOw party, as VB Fosters was surrounded by college students, knocking back a couple with a cow.

Fosters: "G'Day, RD! PT! This 'ere's VB Fosters, and I'm coming to you live from the wOw Primetime party. Now, I know tonight is a big night for me, as I make my in-ring debut where the big boys play, right here in whacked Out wrestling, but I need to calm myself down for that one, and the best way to do that is right here, with a BIG PARTY! Now everybody, let's drink until we chunder!" The beers kept flowing...until Candace walked into the screen...

Candace: "TeeHee...Mistery Fosters, does you thinky you could sparey-ware some beerys for me, oh pleasey-wease?" VB Fosters looked at Candace...

Fosters: "Terribly sorry, luv, but I need this stuff to keep my nerves calm. I mean, I've gotta make an impact here in wOw! You understand, right?"

Candace: "Okey-dokey...I understandy..." Candace smiled as the party went on...

RD: "What could that be about?"

PT: "I don't know- you can never trust a smiling woman, RD!" The party went on as wOw Primetime went to break...

(71)

VB Fosters gains 3 points of overness for being living proof that Reflecto is the more dominant half of the "Most Underrated Writers" on the Dome right now

After the break, King Hippo's theme hit as Butterbean came to the ring and took the mic...

Butterbean: "ME BUTTERBEAN! I don't know who this carpetbagger thinks he is, but he's going to pay by my hands tonight as I make my way to legendary status here in wOw. But I'm not impossible to beat...I mean, I have a weakness...BUT I'M NOT TELLING YOU! HA HA HA!" After that hit, a voice cried from the wOwTron: "NO LOSS FOR NORCROSS!" Just then, some cheesy Jim Johnston-sounding music hit as Jason Norcross came to the ring and started to attack Butterbean.

Jason Norcross v. Butterbean

Well, this was pretty hard. Jason Norcross threw everything but the kitchen sink at Butterbean...only to have Butterbean no-sell it all. Apparently, Norcross didn't read the wOw Worker's Handbook section: "How To Beat Butterbean", as he kept throwing nice move after nice move at Butterbean, only to be rebuffed each time. Butterbean then used some nice punches and kept violently attacking him, fighting him back to the backstage area. Butterbean then proceeded to go into a "Who's The Man" Vader-style routine...until Norcross came back out driving the convertible bus, then drove right into Butterbean, hitting him in the navel and sending him out of it. Norcross made an easy pinfall, getting the big victory.

Butterbean loses 1 point overness for being jobber fodder to an outsider

NO OVERNESS LOSS FOR NORCROSS! Jason Norcross gains 1 point overness.

After the break, Christian Eckstein headed to the ring to almost jobber-type silence. Just then, a jaunty tune hit as VB Fosters was seen in the crowd holding a beer in each hand. Fosters proceeded to start to drink from one of them, then kept drinking and making his way through the stands.

RD: "Just from what I've seen, this VB Fosters loves to have a good time, but once you get into a wOw ring, it's no fun and games. I'm sure Christian Eckstein wants to teach that lesson to him tonight in a big way, PT!"

Fosters eventually made it to the ring, still drinking the second of his beers, and headed in- where Eckstein proceeded to attack him to start the match.

VB Fosters d. Christian Eckstein

After the match, VB Fosters invited fans into the ring to celebrate with him following his victory. Fosters made a call for some beers, only to have Candace come out to the ring...

Fosters: "Ah! Sorry about that, mate, but I had to make sure that I made an impact here in whacked Out wrestling...no hard feelings?"

Candace: "Well...you madey it sound so intyresting...I guessy-wessed I wantyed to see how it feltyed..." Just then, Bobby Rude came out to ringside...

Rude: "U...um...d-do I h-h-have to-to d-do this...m-miss Candace, ma'am?"

Candace: "Tee hee! Gety him!" Bobby Rude rushed into the ring, cut a path through the fans inside the ring, and attacked VB Fosters, finally laying him out with a Rude Awakening as Candace headed into the ring.

Candace: "TeeHee! Gotta love me!" Candace kissed Fosters on the forehead as she and Rude posed for the crowd

Just then, the scene cut to backstage, where Ricky Marvin and Sancho were relaxing...

Marvin: "Hey, my close personal friend Sancho!"

Sancho: "What is it...Ricky?"

Marvin: "Do you happen to know what sucks about being so fabulously sexy and having a sexy bon-bon that all the women want to party with...IN BED... is?"

Sancho: "No...what...?"

Marvin: "NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SUCKS ABOUT BEING AS SEXY AS I AM! NOW, WATCH AS I SHAKE MY BON-BON!" Ricky Marvin proceeded to dance while Stalker Ichikawa snuck onto the screen.

Sancho: "Um...Ricky..."

Marvin: "DID I NOT TELL YOU TO NOT BOTHER ME WHEN I AM DANCING...YOOOOW!" Just then, Stalker Ichikawa had gotten behind Marvin and Kanchoued him, then ran off laughing as they cut to commercial...

(53)

Stalker Ichikawa loses 1 point overness for how much of a perv he is

After the break, The Manila Thrillaz headed to the ring. B-Boy took the mic...

B-Boy: "Okay, listen up. I've had just about enough of those little punks The Diamond Exchange. You keep messing with us no matter what we do. Well, tonight it ends. You two get out here and face us tonight. Two on two. Manos a manos. But not just any match...this ends fully, because it'll be a LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH!" The Manila Thrillaz waited...until The Diamond Exchange came out to the ring accompanied by Veronica Diamond and attacked.

The Diamond Exchange d. The Manila Thrillaz

Dave Powers gains 4 points for finally getting wOw fans behind him

Dean Powers gains 4 points for getting wOw fans behind him

B-Boy loses 9 points for apparently really pissing someone off

Billy Kim loses 9 points because Robbie Richter does not care about Asian people.

After the break, Jared Steele came to the ring accompanied by his cadre of followers. The referee looked at them, then sent them back to the dressing room. Just then, Frankie Kazarian came to the ring and just started to tear into Jared Steele...

Jared Steele v. Frankie Kazarian

This was not a match. This was organized assault, plain and simple. Kazarian just totally dominated Jared Steele from pillar to post in this match. The match seemed like it was normal, for some of it. Kazarian put on some nice moves...Kazarian stopped Steele from putting on some nice moves...and then, Hawk Younkins ran in on the match. Once this occurred, the two proceeded to decimate Steele. Blading happened quickly and violently on this, seeming less like they were making Steele run the crimson mask and more like they were trying to slash him violently. Eventually after a short while, the referee made an X and called for an end to the match on blood loss. The two refused to stop, only ending their assault as security pulled them off of Jared Steele. After the match, Steele's companions headed back out to the ring and carried him to safety.

The Ding Dongs d. British Violence via interference by Sir Quincy Penfold III.

After the match, British Violence proceeded to grab Sir Quincy Penfold III and attack. Just as they did, however, Adam Windsor headed to the ring and saved Penfold. Afterwards, Penfold took the mic...

Penfold: "Truly, you baser...'punks' underestimated me. I would never go after two ragamuffins like you unless I had someone waiting in the wings to help me. That is why I give you, my esteemed teammate in bringing the world the glory of British Aristocracy, Adam Windsor!" The crowd booed as Windsor bowed the crowd.

After the break, Chance Beckett headed to the ring carrying his International title, waiting for an opponent. Just then, a rap theme hit as Bone Daddy came to the ring with a mic...

Bone Daddy: "Yo yo, make some noise, this here's time to howl

Get loud, Mr. Bone Daddy finally hit wOw

All-Star to the new school too easy, almost cheesy,

Steal this dude's title, make the area 'round his waist a little breezy

I'm here to kick ass and take names, ain't no lie

Cause the Daddy's in the house now, my oh my,

So make the noise here in wOw cause I'm here to say

Bone Daddy kicks the most ass in Rhody, AND I'M NOT GAY!"

Chance Beckett started busting out in laughter as the match began...

Chance Beckett d. Bone Daddy

Dungeon Master 3.5 d. Kevin Killgore

After the match, Dungeon Master 3.5 took the mic...

DM 3.5: "Now is the time of all of your discontent. This popular person, this 'hipster' if you will, thought he could steamroller me just because I was a little geeky. He found, like too many in wOw will, that the chickens are coming home to roost. Dare I say, this 'hipster' is so embarrassed I don't doubt you'll never see him in wOw again. Now, I've made connections on the Internet, and there are many like-minded people in wOw who will be right here to make sure wOw is a safer place for the people who aren't the football hero or the top cheerleader. GEEKS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!"

Team Tom Goddard (Tom Goddard, Jeff Hardy, Alex Shelley, and Jimmy Jacobs) d. Team Steve Evans (Steve Evans, Samoa Joe, Rodney Mack, and Jesus Aguilera)- Hardy pins Evans

[RavenBlack]

Bobby Rude rushed into the ring, cut a path through the fans inside the ring, and attacked VB Fosters, finally laying him out with a Rude Awakening as Candace headed into the ring.

Edited October 18, 2005 by RavenBlack

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

WWE RAW

As Raw started, El Dandy came to the ring accompanied by Lita. The two played to the crowd, finally getting to the ring and making out as they waited for their opponent. Just then, a voice occurred on the TitanTron..."TWO EEN THE PEENK, ONE EEN THE STEENK!" Just then, Shocker headed down the ramp and started to attack El Dandy

El Dandy d. Shocker (40, 81, 60)

After the match, El Dandy took the mic...

El Dandy: "You are a very good wrestler, Shocker..."

Shocker: "You are quite good too, El Dandy..."

El Dandy: "I like your love of The Shocker..."

Shocker: "I like how you and Lita love to get it on for the fans..."

El Dandy: "Come. Let us be chums, Shocker." El Dandy put his hand out as Shocker shook it and raised each other's hands. Lita came in and started to make out with Shocker to solidify this as the show went to break...

Shocker loses 3 points overness because the game can't see what I'm trying to do here.

After the break, The Coach came out to the ring and took the mic...

Coach: "Hey, Raw fans! Now, everyone knows The Coach has been keeping Heat on Lock, doing double-duty as the top announcer of Heat and as its head man in charge of getting things done. But I realized something- I want to have some presence here on Raw, too! That's why I decided I would invite two new people into the Players' Club of The Coach, and we would all take over the tag team division. However, I looked all around, and found that there's only one real team that EVERYONE associates Raw with. Two people who make Raw what it is, and did so for years. I figured, no one is better to help me make it to the top here than those two. That's why, I would like to introduce you to the next great tag team in the WWE. First off, I present to you, the fans- my first member, GOOD OL' J.R.!"

JR: What is that BAH-GAWD JEZEBEL talking about?" Just then, "Boomer Sooner" hit as the jobber known more commonly to WWE fans as J.R. Ryder came down to the ring dressed up as Jim Ross.

Ryder: "BAH-GAWD, THIS IS A GREAT BAH-GAWD HONOR, COACH! BBQ SAUCE! BBQ SAUCE! STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER!"

JR: "...this is humiliating..."

King: "It's great, JR! Have a sense of humor about yourself!" Just then, The Coach started talking again...

Coach: "...but a great worker like J.R..."

Ryder: "Great BAH-GAWD HOSS!"

Coach: "Yes, a bah-gawd hoss like Good Ol' J.R. needs a teammate to take over the tag division. That's why I found his only logical partner...THE KING!" Just then, a royal-sounding theme hit as a new worker (recognizable to MMA fans as Robbie Lawler) came down to the ring and took a place next to him...

Robbie: "PUPPIES! PUPPIES! PUPPIES!"

King: "W-what the hell?"

JR: "What's that about a sense of humor, King?" The three posed in the ring for a little bit...

(73)

J.R. Ryder gains 2 points of overness for finally earning his spot on the WWE roster

...until La Resistance came down to the ring and took the mic.

Rene Dupree: "OH HO HO! What is this? You people are nothing but pathetic pigs of dogs! Our announce team are proud symbols that all good Frenchmen know are as worthy of our respect as Jerry Lewis! Prepare to get beaten for this, you pigs of dogs!" Rene Dupree and Sylvan Grenier headed to the ring and attacked The Announce Team members as The Coach made a jump for the outside...

The Announce Team d. La Resistance (69, 82, 75)

Dean Douglas and Steve Blackman draw via "Fun Police" Billy Reil interference (65, 70, 67)

After the break, Sharmell Sullivan came down to the ring carrying her WWE Women's Championship. Victoria then took to the ring as the two began to have a match.

Sharmell Sullivan v. Victoria

This match was pretty standard for WWE Women's Division matches. Honestly- considering how most of the other televised feds have decent women's divisions (and even NWATNA's subpar division still has some excellent workers in it), why WWE matches still end up looking like a Pussycat Dolls video is beyond me. The only thing that looked interesting was how Orlando Jordan slowly showed himself at the top of the ramp, then slowly walked down to the ring as the match went on. Eventually, Sharmell Sullivan went for the big Slap, managing to get a big victory to retain the title. After the match, though, Orlando Jordan headed into the ring and grabbed a mic...

Jordan: "OKAY, THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS LITTLE BITCH'S LIES! She made stuff up about me, turned everyone I know against me- she turned the World against me! Well, I've had enough of that. If she wants to make stuff up- make people take her side over mine, I'm just gonna DO THIS STUFF!" Orlando Jordan grabbed Sharmell Sullivan and began to lay waste to her!

Jordan: "HOW YOU LIKE THAT?" Jordan grabbed Sullivan, and then hit a Slam Dunk on her. "YOU LIKE MAKING STUFF UP?" Jordan grabbed her again and hit another Slam Dunk on her... "I'M GONNA DO EVERY LITTLE THING YOU SAID I DID, BITCH!" Jordan hit one more Slam Dunk on her before security headed into the ring and pulled Jordan off of her as Raw went to break...

(70, 61, 67)

Human Behavior d. Metro by Kyo Dai interference (62, 85, 73)

After the match, Joey Hamm grabbed a mic...

Hamm: "Okay. Now I knew WWE was corrupt, but this is ridiculous. Everybody back there knows that Kyo Dai are supposedly the number one contenders to the Tag Team Titles right now. Only problem is: Me and John here have Metro's number. That's why we DEMAND that Eric Bischoff do the only fair thing and name me and John the number one contenders to the Tag Titles!" After that, Eric Bischoff's theme hit as he came down to the ring...

Bischoff: "You know...I didn't think it would happen, but sometimes, some of these workers have a point. That's why, I had this AMAZING idea, that could have only come from Eric Bischoff for my show, Eric Bischoff's Monday Night Raw! You see, I was just on the phone, and I confirmed that, in all my greatness, I have stolen a pair of workers from one of our...lesser rivals, and at the Royal Rumble, it will be that team...versus Metro...versus Kyo Dai...versus Human Behavior, and the World Tag Team Titles will be on the line!"

Bradley Richter gains 1 point overness for managing to catch steam as a champ

Joey Hamm gains 1 point overness for really fitting well in his gimmick

John Roche gains 1 point overness. Hmmm- all the over people are wOw guys...Coincidence? I think not...

Lance Storm d. Shannon Moore to retain the WWE Intercontinental Title (74, 86, 80)

During the break, the same video for Kevin Martel began to play. The only difference was the end tagline, saying "Kevin Martel: To Debut at the Royal Rumble." (71)

Once the show went back from break, Lance Storm was WALKING~! backstage, when Shane Goddard headed towards him...

Goddard: "What was that about?"

Storm: "What was what about?"

Goddard: "Don't play dumb. We made a promise. One of us wins the Intercontinental Title, the other gets the first shot. You gave that little trans freak Shannon Moore MY shot at your belt, man!"

Storm: "Sorry...I forgot." Goddard looked at him...

Goddard: "Okay...I guess. Just make sure to remember- you owe me a shot at your title. Got it?"

Storm: "Got it..." The two walked off as the action went back to the ring...

(71)

Shawn Michaels d. Chris Benoit by AJ Styles interference (91, 95, 93)

Matt Hardy and Rico d. Shane Helms and Edward Elric- Rico pins Helms (86, 89, 87)

Over: 75

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

( Extra Reflecto Moment Spectacular!

Fans of wOw Memorial, I hereby pronounce the next great bonus for all of you.

As most great tortured genius artists are, I was in the midst of an unsettling sleep [likely fueled by alcohol and/or psychotropics because I am a tortured genius artist and that's just how we roll], when I was visited by the ghost of Adam Ryland. After some slight confusion of the fact that Ryland was not technically dead, he gave me a message from beyond the grave [or not]. He told me to go to the fans of wOw Memorial, and give them the option:

You, the wOw Memorial fans, get to choose the next great tag teams in wOw Memorial.

Simply pick any two workers at random (if you're not sure, just check one of the wOw Scenarios [CHEAP PLUG, DL THEM NOW]), provide a team name for them, pick the federation you want them in, and I'll find a way to put them in wOw Memorial as a team. I know it might be weird, but come on: When the ghost of the creator tells you to do something, you pretty much have to do it, right?

"SUPER-DEFORMED TOM GODDARD MOMENT! There is only one rule that applys to this: The only teams that will not be honored are teams that mix a wOw/AWAMLW/NWATNA worker with a WWE worker. Only WWE/WWE teams will be honored. wOw, AWAMLW, and NWATNA workers can mix at will, however. That's common knowledge for wOw Memorial fans!"

So get on this one. Give me the weirdest teams you can think of in wOw Memorial or our ladies will cry. You don't want that on your conscience, do you?

[RavenBlack]

What's up with the 100's for the WEdge guys?

I originally wasn't going to post any team ideas (I did name Human Behavior, after all), but looking over the wOw roster got me thinking. I don't have any ideas for team names yet, but I'll throw these team ideas out for consideration.

1. Bobby Rude/Scott D'Amore (I'm a Team Canada mark...)

2. Paul London/Scott Taylor (since these two don't seem to be doing anything separately)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

When I got to the NWATNA show, I had been a little bit more rested. Things seemed pretty normal at home this time. I got another interview request from some websites- I had known I would get into these once I won the AWA title. It seemed to be something decent- apparently, some Jewish-friendly site found out about my mother's lineage and wanted to build me up to the fans as the "new Goldberg"-style Jewish hero. It seemed decent- hey, anything to get the name out there, right? I entered the building and proceeded to relax a little bit. I saw Jay Matthews head over to me...

Matthews: "So, they're pushing you as some ethnic hero on the Internet, huh?"

"Yeah- I can't believe it either. Am I respectable because I'm an anti-everything young punk who can never seem to get his comeuppance, because I'm a dandy fop who leads his own boy band, or because I'm some vapid pretty boy who's too weak to do anything except fly?"

Matthews: "I know. Somehow, you never seemed to be someone who'd work for that stuff. Can't they just build you up as what you are: A damn good wrestler...easily the second-best in the US-2?"

"Oh, laugh it up, Jay...who's the World champ, again?"

Matthews: "You ALWAYS have to bring that up, don't you?"

"Yes. Yes I do." We sat around waiting until Slim J and Jayce Simmons headed over to help go over what we planned to do for our match. I saw Jocelyn head over to Dave's side as they prepared to work play-by-play. I wanted to talk to her beforehand, but it always seems so hard to do when she's getting ready to work XPlosion- half because she's usually in the zone beforehand, half because of her normal seeming as a bit higher above me. Eventually, the show started, and I made my way to watch the show...

NWATNA XPlosion

Divine Storm d. The Bambikillers via Peacemakers interference (65)

After the break, Team Canada headed down to the ring accompanied by Jacques Rougeau Jr. Rougeau took the mic...

Rougeau: "Tonight, the proud country of Canada gets to take our position at the top of the world once again by defeating these...baser people who you call the US-2. For too long, they have been a thorn in the side of America, making you all look like vapid pretty boys who only care about the next girl they break the hearts of. But us...we are here to bring honor to NWATNA's X-Division- the honor that only some proud Canadians can give. That is why we ask Team US-2 to grant us a favor. If we manage to win tonight, you people grant us one boon to be named as we win. Surely you agree this is fair..."

Meltzer: "Tonight's match should be big- a nice 8-man tag between the US-2 and the members of this revitalized Team Canada!"

Richter: "That's right, Dave...but now I have to take my leave and go be with my boys!" Jocelyn Richter headed up from the announce table, carrying her Miss TNA title down to the ring...

Richter: "All right, TNA! It's time for you to once again make some noise for YOUR BETTERS! I give you, the hottest boy band in the world, the hottest group in TNA...GODDARD! SIMMONS! MATTHEWS! SLIM J! THE U-S 2!" The US-2 theme hit...but no one came out. Rougeau took the mic again...

Rougeau: "Great introduction, little missy...but we can't risk a girl like you getting injured by the action, or worse, causing proud Canadians like us problems in the ring like you'll do for your men. That's why, it's our shame, but we had to get some help..." Just then, Precious Lucy headed in from the stands and attacked Jocelyn Richter, finally holding up her Miss TNA title.

(76)

This attack at their 'band manager' riled up the US-2, as they rushed the ring in full force and attacked Team Canada to start the match.

4-on-4: Team Canada (Hart/Evans/Young/Fabulous) v. US-2 (Goddard/Simmons/Matthews/J)

Well, this was a shocker- a great 8-man tag match. These two teams managed to put on an excellent show. I was personally hyped to see some of these matches- I especially wanted to see what would happen when the best prospect in the US in Tom Goddard faced off with the best prospect in Canada in Stevie Fabulous (the match, as I expected, was a little too short to get a good idea of it.) The two teams put on a nice show, with the Hart Foundation 2k3 getting the major tag team moves on Team Canada while the original US-2 guys made some nice triple-team moves. Eventually, Eric Young and Stevie Fabulous headed to the outside and brawled with Slim J, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan attacked Jay Matthews, and Jacques Rougeau distracted Jayce Simmons. With no one to help him, Tom Goddard was hit by a Triple Bypass by Teddy Hart, allowing Team Canada to get the victory. After the match, Goddard and Simmons looked towards Team Canada to get what they were supposed to do- only to see Hart and Evans motion towards their waists in the traditional "we want the title" motion...

Meltzer: "It looks like the Hart Foundation 2k3 have just made the challenge to Bad Luck for the Tag Titles!"

(66, 86, 76)

After the break, Jason Cross headed to the ring and took the mic...

Cross: "You know, I've had it up to here with everything I've heard. I just cannot take it. WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME RESPECT AROUND HERE? I win the Super-X Tournament- surely I deserve some respect for that, right? UH-UH...people treat it like a fluke. I win the X-Division title- surely I'd get some respect for that, right? UH-UH...people treat me like nothing, and people revel in it when I lose the title because of that jealous little jobber Jerry Lynn. And then...then I finally do something really big and win the NWA World Championship...finally, I'd get the respect I deserve, right? UH-UH. I hear all you people say: Oh, Jason Cross? He must be a paper champion...he'll lose it soon, no doubt...WELL, I'VE HAD IT! That's why, I decided- you people want this, I'll give you what you want. Like that jobber, Jerry Lynn. All of a sudden, he puts Torrie Wilson by his side and you look at him as the best thing ever because he has a pair of breasts with him? Well, I'll match that, with my brand-new manager...TRACI!" Just then, Traci made her return to TNA at the side of Cross as the two posed and headed to the ring for the match...

(70)

Traci gains 2 points overness for being put in a big situation

Jerry Lynn v. Jason Cross

Well, this was a great match. These two put on an awesome show, as they usually did do. Dave Meltzer made sure to note that this was a non-title match...which almost certainly means Jerry Lynn is going over. The match was pretty much just like all their others, with the exception that the crowd was ready to get excited. The two didn't disappoint, making all their regular moves happen. Traci tried to make her presence felt quickly, only to be stopped by Torrie Wilson, and yes, we have a CAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTFIGHT! The referee, seeing this, sent both managers back to the dressing room as the match continued. Eventually, Jason Cross took the advantage and went to the top for the Crossfire. Just as he did, however, Jeff Jarrett headed to the ring, looked at the two...then attacked Jason Cross with a Stroke from the top rope. Jarrett then handed him to Jerry Lynn, who hit a Cradle Piledriver on Cross to get the victory. After the match, Lynn and Jarrett raised each others' hands to the fans' applause as I threw up in my mouth a little (Are they REALLY planning to make Jeff Jarrett a face? No one likes him...absolutely no one...)

(88, 89, 88)

Jeff Jarrett gains 2 points overness because TNA fans are so fickle they'd actually cheer him as a face

Over: 73

After the show, I proceeded to head back to my car. I saw Jocelyn head off. She headed over towards me...

Jocelyn: "So...great match out there..."

"Too bad you couldn't see more of it...though I am liking the potential of you versus Lucy. She's supposed to be awesome..."

Jocelyn: "Yeah. Quality over quantity in the women's division here in TNA, huh? Anyway, I was wondering...when will you be touching down in Rhode Island?"

"Normal time- I should be there for the show Saturday..."

Jocelyn: "Excellent...because I was wondering...if we're both home by Friday...would you like to do something?"

I have plans...

A...date...? With me...? Really...?

Yeah, I'll take you out...you know, Out Back...<----

Just as I began to make my answer, I happened to see a youngish-looking Japanese girl head over to us from my peripheral vision. I thought it was a fan looking for an autograph...until, of course, she pulled out a giant paper fan...

Girl: "THE DIRTY JEW MUST DIE!" The girl then headed over to me and began attacking me viciously. Jocelyn tried to pull her off of me, only to have her keep up with the attack until she suddenly fell asleep.

Jocelyn: "Um...I'll take her in my car...you should probably get out of here before she wakes up..." I took the hint and drove off as quickly as I could, pissed off that I lost out on a golden opportunity because of this racist psycho biyotch and wondered what the problem could be...