The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

kale · April 18, 2005

I don't know about anyone else, it's not the matches that interest me about the diary. The angles and storylines are what have me interested. Especially regarding the main characters.

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · April 21, 2005

(Tonight's episode in special NO TAG-VISION because Reflecto's too damn lazy and wants to write freehand in the window.)

That morning, I woke up late. I liked the fact that I had a short break for myself, and proceeded to use it to be the lazy little fart a 21-year-old should be, dagnabbit. I proceeded to waste some time, managing to finally wake myself up enough to check the calendar. I tried to think of the day, which was easy to find out when I Jocelyn woke me up in her usual, nail bat-hitting style...

Jocelyn: "So...are you going to take me over for the free ice cream?" Shit! I forgot it was free ice cream day. I sprung over to her and proceeded to get ready.

"Yeah, yeah. Now, the mission, if you choose to accept it, is simple: Get the free ice cream and eat our fill on their dime. Got it?"

Jocelyn: "Yeah, yeah- let's get on the road. I'm hungry..." Jocelyn grabbed me and pulled me to the outside, where I happened to see the waiting car of Fast and Furious...

Jocelyn: "Surprise. I figured we needed a proper vehicle to get an optimum amount, so I got Memphis and Michael to help us out. Good idea?"

"Hey, any excuse to not pay the gas prices myself is fine with me..."

Mi.Raines: "Oh, no, mister huge Indy star...you're paying all the gas prices today, and remember- our baby ONLY takes the top-grade stuff, not that Unleaded you put in your car, Tommy..." DAMMIT! *sniffle* I hate it when oil men are in charge- they take so much out of me when I do. I looked in my somewhat-filled wallet, and was ready to go back inside, only to be frozen by Jocelyn's bambi eyes face...

Jocelyn: "Aww...pwease? Pwease, Tommy-chan, pay the gas money so oo and I can gorge oursewves wif ice cweam for fwee?" Dammit...how am I supposed to fight something as cute as that?

"Oh, all right..."

Jocelyn: "Yay! Thanks, Tommy-chan...honestly, you're such a marshmallow sometimes..." Jocelyn hugged me as I tried to fight back the eternal flow...

Me.Raines: "Um, Tommy- no having a nosebleed in our car- we just pimped the interior, man..." Okay...I piled into the back and looked at the nice style. I hadn't been in their car yet, and it made mine look like a glorified jalopy. Xzibit would be proud of this one, as Jocelyn sat next to me...

Mi.Raines: "So, which one do you want first?"

Jocelyn: "Try the mall- that'll give us some time to look around while digesting it!" Who was I to doubt her want? I saw the two former street racers drive, and...well, I know what it's like to be on a rollercoaster. Finally, we made it to the mall surprisingly in one piece. We made a beeline for the food court and proceeded to make our first order...

Server: "Welcome to Ben and Jerry's...say, aren't you Tom Goddard and Jocelyn Richter?"

"Um, yeah- don't let it get out, though...we're trying to have a quiet day shopping, if you know what I mean...don't need the fans getting word of this, ya know?"

Server: "Sure thing- your choices?"

"Just give me the first thing on the list up there..."

Jocelyn: "Same here..." The server gave us our ice cream as we proceeded to head off and shop a little bit <<GENERIC DATING SIM SHOPPING SCENES HERE>>. Eventually after some time had passed, we headed for our next serving...

Server: "Welcome to Ben and Jerry's...wait...didn't I serve you two before?"

"Um...no..."

Server: "Yes I did! You're Tom Goddard and Jocelyn Richter...you know, the TNA stars..."

"No, we are not. I am Tom Goddard's good friend...Ron Mexico. This is my girlfriend...Ron Mexico. We want ice cream. Give us ice cream." I saw Jocelyn start to blush from the corner of my eye...

Jocelyn: "Yes...give ice cream to me and my...bo-bo-boyf-f-friend..."

Server: "Okay, okay...what would you like?"

"Second from the top..." The server put the stuff in, then looked at it...

Server: "Wait...second from the top? YOU TWO CHEAPSKATES! I'll get you!"

"Can you eat and run?"

Jocelyn: "I can try..."

"Good! Let's get out of here!" We made a beeline for the car as Michael started it up...

Mi.Raines: "Where to next?"

"There's one over in the city proper- it'll have long lines right now. They'll never suspect it." I gave Michael the directions as we drove towards it. Something about going on hills with these people made me wish there was a life insurance machine beforehand. Finally, we got there as I tried to kiss the ground- then remembered it was in a part of town with skeezy hippies and losers and thought better of it. Me and Jocelyn got in line and started to get recognized. I pulled out the stack of 8X10s I kept with me for this and offered people autographs for cuts, finally getting to the front while Jocelyn waited in her "I never bring 8X10s with me wherever I go" fashion. I ordered my third serving and headed towards the spot Jocelyn was still standing at...

Jocelyn: "You...you suck!"

"Hey, it's not my fault people want the autograph of Harry Potsmoker, the AWA's youngest World Champion and most popular worker in the number 3 federation..."

"Oh...oh yeah? Well, two can play that game, Tom..." Jocelyn turned to the guy in back of her in line... "Excuse me, sir?"

Guy: "Wow...you're Jocelyn Richter, the TNA Idol!"

Jocelyn: "Listen...would you do me a HUGE favor? My good friend would like to get ice cream alongside me- could he cut in front of you?"

Guy: "Sure!" I sidled in in front of them...

"Thanks, man!"

Guy: "Wow...you're...you're Tom Goddard! Wait...I have GOT to get to the Internet for this scoop! My message board will never believe this one..." I saw the guy run to the Kinko's across the street and log in...

Jocelyn: "See? I'm over enough to do stuff like...like that...you tricked me, didn't you?" I put up a "peace sign" as I sidled in and took my position...

"Oh, come on- you know you can never eat as much as I can...guys in the business need to be bulked up a bit more, girls need to stay thin and pretty like you. It was for the best..."

Jocelyn: "You...you think I'm...I'm pretty? Tom...I...I..." Just as Jocelyn was about to speak, an ice cream cone was forced into her face as I ordered...

"Hello, please give me the...fourth down?"

Server: "Weren't you here before?"

"No...that was my twin brother. Dreadful thing- he had plastic surgery to not look like me, but it failed and he's my exact clone now, ya know?"

Server: "Your twin brother...who happened to also be wearing a rare Kimagure Orange Road T-Shirt...No, this does NOT add up! HEY! You're trying to get more ice cream!"

"Race you to Utah..." We ran off to the waiting car...

Jocelyn: "I TOLD you not to wear that shirt! It's too unique! You have to wear generic stuff like I was!"

"Well, you forced me into this too quickly...I had to dress virtually on the run..." Memphis broke up the potential argument...

Me.Raines: "So...where to next?" I looked through this. I knew it was time for the ultimate one...

"There's one about 30 miles from here- they don't check for multiple times. Take us there- here's the directions." I sent them on the style for it. I watched Jocelyn as we made it on this trip- putting her hands out the window, enjoying the hellish ride like it was her own personal theme park. God, she's such a hottie...I started to doze off...

Random person: "I cannot believe it. Someone managed to go through one of each today."

Random person 2: "Well, of course. If anyone could do it, the reigning AWA Champion could do it!"

Server: "You shame us, Tom Goddard. Here. As your prize, we offer a humble offering...take these three GI-NORMOUS bags of weed!" I was feted with three bags similar to the big brown leaf bags the city made us use when raking, filled with that sweet goodness...

Jocelyn: "Oh, Tom! You're..."

Jocelyn: "...going to miss the spot...wake up!"

"Huh...? Jocelyn? Where's the big bags of weed?"

Jocelyn: "Honestly...let's get our ice cream!" We proceeded to get in line, finally allowed to eat our fill. When we were finally sated, we headed back.

Michael: "Any more?"

"No, that'll be it for today."

Memphis: "Okay. Now let's get home- there's a race tonight, and we have to get this thing ready for it!" They proceeded to drop Jocelyn off first as she turned to me.

Jocelyn: "Well, aren't you going to walk a girl to her door?" I looked through the window to see Jeff steaming.

"Um...I don't think that'll be a good idea at this juncture...I'lltalktoyounextshow!" Jocelyn proceeded to get out of the car and walk over as I had them drive off like bandits.

Jocelyn: "Ah, I guess you could call this our first date, can't you? Either way, I guess this is one for my Memories section..."

RavenBlack · April 22, 2005

Bah. I missed out on free cone day.

I didn't go downtown that day, so I didn't get to visit one. I hung out with my nieces instead, and we commiserated about how neither that one nor the factory shop was within walking distance.

Then I had to go for job orientation. Working at a Sears at a mall. There's a Ben and Jerry's in the food court, but by the time I got out of that, the line was HUGE. I pouted for a while, then I went to a Hannaford's and bought a pint of Phish Food. All was right with the world afterward.

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · April 25, 2005

WWE Sunday Night Heat

As the show started, Lethal and Wylde came down to the ring and took the mic...

Lethal: "Sunday. Premiere night. Me and my partner are assigned to take down some little punk-ass team that thinks they're the new era of WWE wrestling- some Naturals team or something like that. Too much talk, that's what I've come to the conclusion of those two. Well, no matter. Just another team to fall to me and my partner's might, because I'm Lethal..."

Wylde: "...and I'm Wylde, and together..."

Both: "WE GET THE JOB DONE!" Just then, The Naturals came to the ring accompanied by Cassidy O'Reilly for their matchup.

Lethal and Wylde v. The Naturals

The end of this school year is the time for clubs to start thinking about how their future is going to exist throughout the next. This is the period when clubs have to give out their budget proposals for the coming year. The school then determines how much money the clubs will get from that amount of money, which directly determines how much the club can do in the coming year. This leads to some definite problems for clubs, as all of the clubs have to determine how much money they can get in order to get a fair amount for what they plan to do in the next year. As such, it was my plan to go to the clubs and see exactly how they plan to get through this period for the clubs. The first club I took to do this was the GMC Anime Club. This club was one of the most logical choices due to being the club with the smallest budget among the clubs to return from the previous year. The story of this club takes place when they attempted to increase their budget from the $250.00 they received the year before (a number that is only slightly ahead of what the probationary budget for new clubs is at $200.00) and increase the budget to the $400.00 range. When asked why this number was requested, the club brass replied that $400.00 is the median budget that the average veteran club receives and would allow them roughly two increases to the club's library per semester instead of what came out to one increase to the club's library per semester. This increase would benefit the anime club by allowing them a better opportunity to get the most recent anime that they would be able to get, allowing them to stay on par with other clubs across the country. When asked why they feel they're a good choice to get this money, a club member responded, "We've been seeing a meteoric rise in the last school year, and it is our view that this rise makes us deserving of a higher budget that would be more comparable to the other clubs on the GMC campus as a result." The Naturals took the advantage in the matchup, until Cassidy O'Reilly set him up as The Naturals went for a Double Suplex-into a Spike Piledriver, which caused the referee to call for the DQ. Really good matchup, for the most part.

(45, 90, 60)

After the break, Biomonster HOSS was looking for something as Shannon Moore was backstage with him...

Moore: "Oh, Hossy? What's your problem?"

HOSS: "*neighs*"

Moore: "Oh, Hossy...do we have to go through this again? Okay...let me see...wait, where's your hot glue gun?"

HOSS: "*neighs*"

Moore: "It's...it's gone? But you have a match with John Roche! How are you supposed to thrive in this matchup without your secret weapon?"

HOSS: "*neighs*"

Moore: "Oh, honestly. I'll tell you what...you win your match, and I'll be back here with some nice carrots for you..." Biomonster HOSS nuzzled Shannon Moore as the show went to break...

John Roche v. Biomonster HOSS

Following the quotes from this club, I proceeded to go to Lindsey Kendall, a member of Student Government which is the group that oversees budgets, exactly what goes into the budgets. According to her, "The Student Government Association receives a yearly budget based on the student’s activities fee. The student activities fee is $200.00 which is required and is billed directly to all enrolled students for the 2005-2006 Academic year. Based on current facts on the College's website there are currently about 650 students enrolled (multiply this by 200 = $130,000.00). This money is divided among the following; Student Senate (which gets $5,000), Student Assembly (which gets $95,000), and College Programming Board (which gets $30,000.)" This information means that there is a set amount of money, but that Student Assembly receives the most of that. When I asked if there would be more money for next year, Kendall replied, "At the NEASC meeting (held last week w/ members of the senate and other concerned students) Bill Throop said that all budgets for next year have increased for dept., organizations, etc." Because of this, it is unknown how much the money will be, as it increases depending on how many students we get per year and the fees they are charged for it. Biomonster HOSS took the advantage, and went for a Powerbomb. However, just as he was about to do it, Sean Casey, Chris Michaels, and Kid Romeo came down to the ring carrying Biomonster HOSS's hot glue gun and hit him with a shot from it, sticking him to the ground and allowing John Roche to get the victory. Afterwards, Kid Romeo took the mic...

Romeo: "Ah, yet another person has faltered before our might. Tremble, WWE- nothing you have is safe from the skilled workers of...the Thieves' Guild!" The four raised each other's hands as the show went to break...

(45, 73, 53)

Alex Shane v. Collyer-3000

Afterwards, I spoke with Brian McGrath about the budgets. In case you are unaware, one of Brian's many duties on this campus is to be the staff member liaison to the Student Assembly, the group that all the clubs on campus belong to. In Brian's view regarding budgets, "the budget a club gets on campus is one of the most important things. However, it is entirely possible for a club to get by without a really large budget, as many of the club activities can be done for free if it is done by a person willing to think of creative things to do for the club." This statement rings true for most of the clubs, as many are able to get through doing inexpensive activities for their stuff. When asked what takes place as a good sign of a club receiving all of the money they want to (or at least a majority of the money), a few different things were mentioned. These things were: The amount of members in the club, the club using their budget properly in the past, the club using their entire budget in the past, and the club being represented at the biweekly student assembly meetings. These things, however, may not give you all the money you want- according to McGrath, 75% of the budget a club asks for is a good ballpark figure for what a club can expect. In addition, that can go down even further when mixed with things like a lack of representation at Student Assembly meetings, not putting your club's budget proposal in on time, and not using all of the money that you were given in your budget for the year before.This brought McGrath to his reason for this- in his words, "The major problem with this dispersal tends to be situations like having to split the amount of money Student Government is given over 30 ways each year, leading to lower amounts of money. Clubs go defunct every year, but they are usually replaced by an equal or potentially higher amount of clubs, all of which go into the mix for this. This makes it so it is hard to give everyone exactly what they want every year." It is things like that which make it almost a power struggle of sorts with other clubs, as each group needs to make their own case for why they deserve the money they request each year. For some clubs, it is easy to prove their point for their monetary value. For others, this time period is just a time to hope for the best."I think our club managed to prove we deserve better this year", said our source at the GMC Anime Club. "Now, all we can do is hope that Student Government feels the same way." Stacy Keibler proceeded to cause a distraction to the referee, allowing Alex Shane to hit Collyer-3000 with a chair, then the One Night Stand for the big victory. Afterwards, Keibler got in the ring and celebrated with Shane as the show went to break.

(54, 76, 58)

Al Snow v. Jerrelle Clark

Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood.Passersby were shocked by the large amount of blood. Jerrelle Clark took the advantage for the majority of the match. Unfortunately, just as Clark was about to hit a 630 Somersault on him, a cat ran from under the ring into the match, causing Jerrelle Clark to go into conniptions. Clark ran out of the ring, causing Al Snow to get the countout victory. Not too bad, for the most part...

(58, 75, 59)

Diamond and Swinger v. Kyo Dai

In the last year, the concept of what is going on in the atmosphere has been seen to take more of a prominent position in research. This position is taken mostly from the fact that unlike previous research of the atmosphere, people are beginning to notice the general problems of the fact that a larger portion of the atmospheric problems is the result of cellular and protein-based particles, most notably such things as fur fibers, dandruff, skin fragments, plant fragments, pollen, spores, bacteria, algae, fungi, viruses, protein "crystals", and similar things which can range in size from tens of nanometers to millimeters (Jaenicke 73). Because of these things, atmospheric aerosols have been taking more of a bad reputation as a result of these naturally-forming problems with the enviroment. Research has been trying to get exactly how much of the atmosphere is made by these natural proteins, which has been needed in order to see how much influence they have on the climate of the planet's biosphere. This report hopes to shed some more light on the new-found abundance of cellular material and proteins in the atmosphere.Keiji Sakoda was distracted by Dawn Marie, allowing Simon Diamond to hit the Simon Series on him for the victory. Afterwards, Diamond and Swinger celebrated- only to be attacked by Kyo Dai.

(55, 80, 60)

After the match, Chris Candido was talking on a cell phone...

Candido: "Yeah- you know everything's going right for us, man. What? You're going to be here tomorrow? That's great, man! We're totally going to destroy Triple H and his little butt-buddies when this occurs...what? Yeah, we know- you'll take control here. All right, I'll let you go..." Just then, Bam Bam Bigelow came over to Candido...

Bigelow: "Um, Skip?"

Candido: "DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

Bigelow: "Well, Chris, Someone's here to see you..." Candido walked over to the door... "Ah, one of our helpers...Hey..."Just then, the show went to break.

(72)

Chris Candido v. AJ Styles

Marine Aerosol in the Atmosphere

One of the major loads that has been seen is that of marine-based aerosol. Considering that 75% of the earth is covered in water, it makes sense that much of the cellular and protein-based particles would come as these things. The marine aerosol portions of the atmosphere can be broken up into two different forms: Sea-salt and non-sea salt sulphates. These things have seen a larger concentration in recent times of the non-sea salt sulphates, most notably organic matter that has made its way into the atmosphere through a bubble-bursting process. This can tend to be an important form for the timing, as research has found that the amount of organic material in the atmosphere ranges from as high as 63% of the submetre aerosol mass in blooming seasons to as low as 15% in the wintertime (O'Dowd et al. 677). The plankton blooming period leads the area to have higher clorophyll concentrations than most time periods between springtime and autumn, at what has been said as more than 10 times the amount of clorophyll as in wintertime. This shows the time between spring and autumn as the highest biological system, and the winter as the lowest. In the lower biological systems of winter, it has been found that sea salt-based aerosols take the vast majority of the marine aerosols, with roughly 74% of the accumulation in the atmosphere.By contrast, sea salt only takes up 10% of the accumulation in the atmosphere in high biological systems, which have 65% be organic carbons. AJ Styles took the advantage, and hit the Styles Clash on Candido. However, before he could get the three, Larry Zybysko ran into the ring and hit AJ Styles with a chair, then put Candido on top of him for the three count! After the match, Zybysko celebrated with Candido as the show ended.

(51, 95, 65)

Over: 63

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · April 27, 2005

That Sunday in Nashville, CM Punk was sitting alone by himself, lost in thought...

Punk: "Okay. Let me suffice for right now. I am CM Punk. Chick Magnet Punk. The only Straight-Edge Pimp Daddy of American independent wrestling today. I can get every woman I want, and a goodly percentage of the ones I don't want. Sadly, too MANY of the ones I don't want, but I digress... Hell, you go to some parts of the US indy scene which have taken hugely to the power of Straight Edge, and you can't find a girl who goes inside the ring that I haven't gone inside of. Yes, yes, my skill as a cocksman is widely respected, to be sure- but since I've gotten into TNA, there seems to be that one nut I haven't busted into, so to speak..." CM Punk took out a TNA trading card picturing Jocelyn Richter and looked at it. "Yes, yes, little miss Jocelyn Richter. I always love this type- the sweet little owner's daughter, never got much of an initiation into what the big time is all about. Perfect for someone like me to swoop in and strike. Probably would be a demon in the sack, to boot...God, it gets me pumped just thinking about it. My only problem- it seems that she's been called by that...that upstart Adam Ant wannabe in America2." CM Punk took out a trading card from the set of Tom Goddard and scowled. "Yes, that punk Goddard's been a thorn in my side for too long. I become the indy scene's most respected player since Raven, and now I hear Goddard gets the reputation of being a total player almost everywhere north of the Mason-Dixon Line. I stake what should have been my claim to fame for a long while and put on a ***** indy match, then Goddard does the same thing up in Minneapolis and becomes the 'It Boy' of professional wrestling as a whole, gets more 'Next' claims for virtually every great superstar in the past. It just ticks me off so bad!" CM Punk crumpled up the Goddard trading card and kept thinking. "To top it off, Goddard apparently has been good friends with Jocelyn for years- I wouldn't doubt that he's already hit that by now. I don't wanna have to have sloppy seconds from Tom Goddard- I'M the one Goddard should have the sloppy seconds of, just like everything else he's done in his career! But no- no, that would be a bad thing. Better to be normal, keep it cool. I'll just check things out tonight, and see if the two are dating. If they are, I'll be the man, let it go- and wait until the first time I see them fight- heh, heh...but if they are not..." CM Punk slightly laughed to himself as the show started...

NWA: Total Nonstop Action

(Matches done in "Reflecto still not sure his heart's into writing matches yet"-Vision!)

The Gathering d. The Peacemakers by PsychoKillers (The Bambikiller/Crazy Sexy Mike) interference (48, 79, 63)

Five Star Attraction d. The SAT by Kriss Sprules interference (43, 88, 65)

John Walters d. Super Dragon (50, 85, 67)

Altar Boy Luke and The Messiah d. 3 Live Kru by Bad Luck interference (70, 79, 74)

Meanwhile, after the match and subsequent run-in, I got a chance to talk to Jayce again.

"So, you ready for your big date tonight? I'm telling you, man- you're golden...*sigh*"

Jayce: "Oh, right. I see. What's the sigh at the end for, man? Are you failing at keeping up with your cardio now that you're a superstar on the indy scene?"

"No, it's nothing-I think we have an interview set up. You know, typical stuff. We'll go through that- let me do the talking..."

Jayce: "Wouldn't do it any other way, man..."

"Then we'll get you set up for whatever redneck bar and chicken wings joint you go out to tonight..."

Jayce: "Oh, sure. Trying to go against this area? You're getting too over for that, Tommy..." We headed over to meet with Jocelyn at the interview position for the segment and got back into character as the cameras aired...

Tenay: "Now I think we're going to get some answers on that vicious assault by Bad Luck- let's go to Jocelyn Richter who's backstage with them! Jocelyn?"

Richter: "Thanks, Mike! Once again, it's YOUR TNA Idol, Jocelyn Richter with the scoop! Here with me is the NWA Tag Team Champions, Bad Luck. Fellas, why would you try and mess with these..." Just then, Tom Goddard put his fingers to Jocelyn Richter's lips and started talking...

Goddard: "First off, silly girl, WHAT makes you believe you are worthy of being called an 'Idol'? Every fan of NWATNA knows that there is only one Idol, Tom Goddard, and Team America2 are my entourage!"

Simmons: "Yeah, show the man the respect he deserves, girl!"

Goddard: "Second off, there are good reasons for our attacks on those...baser people in the 3 Live Kru. They are- they are so second-rate, pandering to the lowest common denominator as they do. They have no skills in the ring, instead getting these mindless sheep to love them due to their use of equally inane catchphrases. Well, excuse us if we don't laugh at people saying that they are 'BG James' and the other person is a 'bitch' or if we don't want to go and 'Get Rowdy'..."

Simmons: "At least, not INSIDE the ring..."

Goddard: "The truth is, those people are not even in our league. They must be punished, until they do the whole of TNA a favor and dissipate themselves into weak singles workers and allow truly Glamorous teams such as us the Tag Team division's glory. We are the Alpha and Omega of tag team wrestling. We are glorious. We are Bad Luck..." Just then, Sukeban rushed into the scene and hit Jocelyn Richter with a huge LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!, sprawling her out on the back.

Goddard: "I assume this interview is over...let us go..." Jayce Simmons left the scene, while Tom Goddard kneeled down towards Richter- then hit her with a Glitter Mist as an exclamation point as the show cut to the ring!

(68)

After the segment, I helped Jocelyn up as she dusted the glitter off of herself...

Jocelyn: "You do it better- at least you didn't spit it into my eyes like last time..."

"Hey, It's not like I have a Ninja gimmick- using Mist wasn't as ingrained in my skills as it has been now that I use it in-ring."

Jocelyn: "Yeah, yeah. Where's the guy who was so cocky they once said they could do any move?"

"I never said that...I just said I could go move-for-move with Steve, no more, no less..."

Jocelyn: "Okay, okay... Anyway, what was going on? You said that you had set something up..."

"Well, of course. I listened to your wonts, old friend, and have managed to procure for you an unforgettable dream date with my close personal friend, Mr. Jayce Simmons..."

Jayce: "Yeah, an unforgettable date with Jayce...WHAT WHAT WHAT?"

Jocelyn: "(Oh, he is SUCH a moron sometimes!) Um...yeah! That's...great, Tom..."

"(Yeah, I'm an idiot...why'd I do this, again?) So, um, you two crazy kids go out there and have a blast...really...go ahead...(Oh YEVON, I am such an idiot...)"

Jayce: "Well, I assume we should go...that is, if it's REALLY okay with you, Jocelyn..."

Jocelyn: "Why... wouldn't... it be? I mean, Tom has gone to...so much trouble...to set us up...it'd be a waste...(BAKA! TOM NO BAKA!)" Jayce and Jocelyn headed off as I curled up into a fetal position near his locker...

Chris Sabin d. Jason Cross to win NWA X-Title by Jerry Lynn interference- Cross throws tantrum afterwards (61, 81, 71)

After the match, Jerry Lynn came out to the ring and took a mic...

Lynn: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm happy to come out here tonight with another announcement. You see, I was thinking about the fact that I am your reigning NWA World Champion..." The crowd cheered that statement as Lynn continued... "...and I realized something. Right now, every person in TNA's got a target on my back as we speak. I have the one thing that everybody wants, and to be honest, it can be tough. That's why when I realized this, I made a call throughout the world to have someone to watch my back, to keep me from losing this belt again. Finally, I found someone in an unexpected place who was willing to do just this and keep me with my title. That's why, it is my pleasure to announce to you the fans my brand-new manager...TORRIE WILSON!" Just then, Torrie Wilson headed to the ring and raised Lynn's hand in the air as the crowd went insane.

Tenay: "I...I can't believe this! I thought she was under WWE contract! How did Jerry Lynn manage to pull off this coup, Don?"

West: "THIS IS HUGE! WE STOLE ONE FROM THE WWE, TENAY! WE STOLE TAWRRIE FROM THE WWE!"

(meanwhile, in WWE headquarters...)

Vince: "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT? What went wrong there?"

Underling: "I found out the problem, sir- it seems that Torrie's contract expired a week ago, and we forgot to renew it. NWATNA must have swooped in when we didn't sign her back immediately."

Vince: "Well, I assume there's no problem with this. We need revenge for this one somehow. Consider Billy Kidman fired immediately-without Torrie on roster, he's useless to us...

Underling: "But sir...didn't Kidman once save your life?" Vince looked at the underling...

Vince: "I don't remember that..."

(82)

CM Punk d. Psychosis (75, 94, 84)

Jerry Lynn d. Jushin Liger to retain NWA World Heavyweight Championship- Jason Cross interferes following (74, 91, 82)

Over: 75

After the match, I was still in front of my locker generally feeling sorry for myself. Just as I had a good deep blue funk going, I happened to see Alex standing by me.

Alex: "So, you actually went through with the whole 'Set Jocelyn up with Jayce' thing, huh?"

"I should have expected you'd know, Alex..."

Alex: "No, it doesn't take special powers to know that when someone's in the fetal position in front of their locker, something like that must have happened."

"So you didn't?"

Alex: "Oh lord no, of course I used my power. Why have them if you don't use them, right?"

"I guess...so, what should I do?"

Alex: "I don't know. It all depends on how well they hit it off. I mean, part of love says 'If you love somebody, set them free. If they come back, they're yours. If they do not, then cry about it on your livejournal and listen to a bunch of emo music until you find someone new.' The ball's in her court, Tom..."

"I see."

Alex: "Cheer up. She's bound to come back- I mean, you saw it yourself- Jayce was apprehensive. Plus, he's your friend and tag team partner here- I doubt he'd do that to you..."

"I guess you're right...but if she feels this way about him..."

Alex: "Come on. How do you know that for sure? Worst comes to worst, she finds things out here..."

"I see..."

Alex: "So cheer up! What could possibly go wrong?" Meanwhile, outside the arena, as Jayce and Jocelyn headed into Jayce's car...

CM Punk: "So that's it! She's dating Jayce Simmons, not Tom Goddard! Oh, this becomes so much easier. There's no WAY a girl like that can favor a guy like Simmons over indy superstar CM PUNK!" CM Punk smiled. "Oh, Miss Richter- you are going to get it SO bad and you don't even know it yet..."

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · April 30, 2005

That night, Jayce and Jocelyn headed off into the Nashville night, looking for the right place still open.

Jayce: "So, madam- where would you like to go on this fine evening?"

Jocelyn: "Oh...um, wherever's fine..."

Jayce: "It doesn't seem that way..."

Jocelyn: "Oh no- I'm just a little shocked, is all. I didn't expect to be put in this position, you see, and I could have never dreamed that this is what it would come to..."

Jayce: "Cram it- you know you don't want to be here, don't lie..."

Jocelyn: "No, no! That's not it at all. You're great to hang around with...there's no problem. So, shall we?"

Jayce: "Well, if it's what you REALLY want, sure..."

Jocelyn: "Then great! Let's get this show on the road!" The two drove around the city, finally finding an open bar and proceeding to go in.

Jayce: "Well, looks like this is the place..."

Jocelyn: "Yeah, I remember this one...this is the place I was watching Tom during the PPV he won the AWA strap...in..." Jayce looked at her...

Jayce: "You're SURE you're okay with this?"

Jocelyn: "Of course- I'm just trying to make small talk...did I make a mistake?"

Jayce: "Of course not...unless you consider talking about a guy's tag team partner while you're on a date with him 'making a mistake'..."

Jocelyn: "Aww...that's so cute- it's just like what Tom did when I use other guys against him..."

Jayce: "See? You did it again! Honestly- you can tell the truth. I know you don't want to be here..."

Jocelyn: "It's...it's not that. It's just that..."

Jayce: "Just admit it to yourself- you're crazy about Tom. You know it, I know it, everyone in back knows it, hell, dogs know it..." Jocelyn started blushing at that statement...

Jocelyn: "Um...uh...hey look- this bar gets wOw Sin tapings! Yep, nothing better to do than watch wOw Sin..." The show came on as they watched...

wOw Sin

(Still writing extras to the show, still don't feel like writing matches, you still gotta deal with it...)

The Strong Brothers d. The Klansmen by Nurse Lulu interference

Shinobu Kandori d. Nanae Takahashi

Alex Shelley d. 57U

Jared Steele d. Gronda- Hawk Younkins attacks afterwards

The Diamond Exchange d. World's Greatest Jobber Team

British Violence d. Forest Yuhas and Eco-Hazard

Jimmy Jacobs d. Kevin Killgore

Homicide d. Greg Burch by cheating

After the end of the show, Jayce started to grill Jocelyn again...

Jayce: "So, are you willing to be honest? Don't worry- I won't hold it against you. Truth be told, I was just as shocked as you were Tom offered to set me up with you..."

Jocelyn: "Crap...why do you keep this strange idea in your head, Jayce? I mean, the things I could tell you about him could fill a warehouse..."

Just then, Tom Goddard sneezed as he headed to the AWA show and got ready for his matches...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · May 2, 2005

As I made it to the AWA tapings, I was still a little bit nervous. I mean, when you've basically offered the girl you love to your tag team partner, you're bound to be worried, right? These worries were slightly alleviated when I was glomped as soon as I got there...

Kari-Chan: "TOMMY-KUN! You've finally made it! I had heard from one of my new bestest friends in the world you weren't feeling happy, Tommy-kun, but don't worry because I'm gonna love-love all your troubles away, yeppers!"

"I...see...and who would tell you I was this worried?" Just then, I saw Alex's little sister come over to us...

Black: "Oh, sorry, Tom...me and your 'girlfriend' here were talking. She's been a real help to me- giving me tips, you know...and now to put them to use! ONIICHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Just then, I saw her rush over to Alex and glomp him with huge ferocity as he tried to get over here. I walked to him, dragging the still-attached Kari-Chan on the ground beyond me...

"Yeowch- this is going to be a hard way to work tonight...two matches connected to Kari-Chan will be hard..."

Shelley: "Don't worry...it'll be easy. Hell, I checked the board- you and I are working the Underground match together..."

"You're serious? But we're in the same stable..."

Shelley: "I know, but apparently Court wants to screw with us both in one fell swoop. I don't care- I'm sure we'll rock the house in the ring together."

"You've got that right..." I headed out to the Gorilla position with Kari-Chan still attached, walking through all the while...

Kari-Chan: "LOVE-LOVE-LOVE-LOVE-OWWWW-LOVE-LOVE-LOVE..."

Shelley: "You need me to get you a crowbar or something, Tom?"

"Wait until I'm set to go out there, then use it..."

AWAMLW Underground

Jack Evans d. Air Paris to retain AWA Global Cruiserweight Title (49,90,69)

Perry Saturn d. Brandon Downard (37,86,61)

Low-Ki d. Bryan Danielson (76,99,87)

After the match ended, I knew my time was on. I knew I had to out-gun a MOTY-candidate (like it would lose to my stuff with Daniels), so I proceeded to work. Kari-Chan was still attached to me, so doing the most normal thing I could, I reached into my Mallet-Space and pulled out a giant pillow shaped like me and replaced her glomping with it. Having been freed from her love-love trap, I headed into the ring and took the mic...

Potsmoker: "Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you tonight pleased to announce that, while you don't deserve it, you will get to see an AWA World Title defense by your greatest AWA Champion, myself. Now, I looked throughout AWAMLW's roster, and throughout the rosters of federations actually WORTH A DAMN..." The crowd booed at that remark... ", and looked for someone who was truly worthy of a shot at my title. Finally, though, I realized I didn't have to look far. I found a champion who was more than worthy of the strap right here in AWAMLW..." Some scattered cheers for Chance Beckett started... "I found someone who has proven themselves worthy through amazing matches right here in this federation. Someone who proved their mettle as a champion in this federation with a Global Cruiserweight Title reign that was the stuff of legend..." The Beckett chants grew louder. "And someone who, even now, proves their worthiness to be the next major AWAMLW product to make their way into the main events. That is why, I give you, the people, your challenger tonight..." The crowd cheered for Beckett... "...My close personal friend, ALEX SHELLEY!" The crowd started booing massively as the fellow Death Eater headed out to the ring brandishing the AWA East Coast Title and shook hands with Potsmoker, then the two locked up to begin the matchup...

(97)

(AWA World) Harry Potsmoker v. Alex Shelley

Well, this match wasn't what I had hoped for. Maybe it was an off-night for the two, but I had expected a match like this, by two fairly good buddies to be an awesome matchup. However, this was merely an above-average matchup (which, in Potsmoker's case, is below average.) Maybe it was just me, but Potsmoker seemed to be in the mode where he spaced out, as he seemed to be going through the motions. This could have led to a poorer matchup, but Shelley was good enough to make it seem good. Potsmoker got the win after locking Shelley in the Final Fantasy, which was probably the safest move considering the performance he put in. After the match, Potsmoker and Shelley raised each other's hands in celebration- until Chance Beckett ran into the ring from the stands and attacked the two of them! Beckett grabbed Shelley's East Coast title, then hit a One-person Con-Title-O on Harry Potsmoker. The show ended as Chance Beckett grabbed Potsmoker's World Title and held it up to the crowd's applause.

(65,81,73)

Over: 76

Meanwhile, back in Nashville, our heroine and hero's tag team partner were tending to feel the full effects of their surroundings, each having more than their fair share of nourishing alcohol...

Jayce: "Sho yeah, Joshelyn, you're really great...you and Tom...you two crashy kids're all right, ya know that?"

Jocelyn: "Um...yeah...but how do I know if...if Tom feels the same way? *burp* Excuse me...more please..."

Jayce: "Oh, come on...COME ON...it'sh sho obvioush...HEY! THAT'SH HIM! THAT WASH AWESHOME! HE an' Kid Pshycho- they tore shit up!"

Jocelyn: "Um...I think you need to lay off of it...you're drunk...tee hee...Go get him, Tommy-chan!"

Jayce: "Um, I don't think he'cn hear ya..."

Jocelyn: "Don't be silly, tee hee...of course he can hear little old me...Kick Alex's ass!" Just then, the two were approached by two bouncers...

Bouncer 1: "Well, looky here...I always wanted to prove I was tougher than two people in a fake sport..."

Jayce: "IT IS PREDETERMINED AND CHOREOGRAPHED, NOT FAKED!"

Bouncer 2: "Sure it is...now let's get you two to a safe place..." The two were thrown out of the bar just as the scene shifted back to the AWA Tapings...

Tapings for AWA: Major League Wrestling

The Johnsons d. The Heatseekers (Bobby Quance and Austin Aries) (48, 75, 61)

After the break, a somewhat poor quality video aired:

(INT. A seedy club. A grunge band that would make Creed sound like Nirvana was playing with a lot of staticy video effects. These suddenly changed to the sight of a grungish looking person (better recognizable as indy standout Derrick King) in the crowd, then cut to scenes of him wrestling. After this, a poor finish aired for it...

"GRUNGE ROCK" DERRICK KING

Coming Soon to ROCK YOU.

(46)

Jack Evans d. Chris Chetti (52, 75, 63)

Jerry Lynn d. Teddy Hart (64, 87, 75)

Kevin Nash d. Vader (78, 82, 80)

Low-Ki d. Randy Savage (85, 71, 80)

Christopher Daniels and Chance Beckett v. Harry Potsmoker and Alex Shelley

Well, this was one of those matches where you just know it's going to be good. Potsmoker and Daniels in the same ring together always leads to fun, and Beckett and Shelley are no slouches as well. The match seemed to be a little poor from it, possibly due to the tapings meaning Potsmoker and Shelley had worked earlier in the night. Daniels and Beckett were able to help make the match work, however, and the match was better than it had any right to be. Potsmoker went up to the top rope with the hope of having Alex Shelley load him up for a My Final Heaven, but Christopher Daniels hit the ropes, sending Potsmoker down crotch-first into the ropes and off. Chance Beckett then proceeded to hit a Chance Encounter on Potsmoker, then covered him to get the pinfall. Awesome matchup all-around.

(88, 89, 88)

Over: 72

After the tapings ended, Alex came over to me. I saw Kari-Chan and Raven try to glomp the two of us, but we managed to dodge them, sending the two into a double-glomp (BLATANT FANSERVICE MOMENT)

(Suddenly, RavenBlack headed over to Reflecto with a Giant Paper Fan...

RavenBlack: "You...didn't...put me...in a blatant fanservice moment...did you...?"

"Um...uh...yes'm..." Just then, RavenBlack added a mallet to the mix and rushed towards Reflecto...

RavenBlack: "GET BACK HERE! DO ME A FAVOR AND PLEASE DIE NOW! YOU MUST DIE!")

Alex headed over to me and proceeded to hit me with a psychic blast...

Shelley: "WHAT WAS THAT FOR? You ruined what could have been a good match?"

"Sorry man- I guess my mind wasn't on the whole of our singles, ya know? Besides, I came through in the tag match- that's the PPV one..."

Shelley: "I guess you're right, but still- you overreact too much! Honestly, I don't think I've ever met more of a drama queen than you are sometimes!"

"I know, I know..."

Shelley: "Besides, it's like I told you- she's with your good friend and tag team partner. What's the worst thing that could happen?"

Meanwhile, back in Nashville...

Jayce: "Well, I guesh the night's ended...I'll shee ya Thurshday..."

Jocelyn: "Okay, Jayce...I'll try and talk you up extra hard on XPlosion, tee hee...now I'm all bored...what else is there to do now...?" Just then, CM Punk was driving through the neighborhood...

Punk: "Ooh...cherchez le femme...oh, hi, Miss Richter...fancy seeing you here!"

Jocelyn: "Hey- I know you! You're CM Punk, right? tee hee..."

Punk: "Of course- it seems you need a ride...stuck alone?"

Jocelyn: "Yep...Jayce was done, so he left me here...could I get a ride?"

Punk: "Of course...do you have a place to stay tonight?"

Jocelyn: "Um...I am a little sleepy..." Jocelyn proceeded to get in the car and pass out as CM Punk headed off.

Punk: "tee hee...face it, tiger, you just hit the JACKPOT..."

stokeriño · May 2, 2005

Bwahahahahahaha.

*fully condones and supports physical violence directed toward purveyors of blatent fan service moments*

RavenBlack · May 3, 2005

*still chasing after Reflecto* *brandishes GPF and mallet in a very threatening manner*

Kevin Nash d. Vader (78, 82, 80)

stokeriño · May 3, 2005

I would imagine that since they're both brawlers (and unable to do very much else), the game gave them a pretty high score for matching stats. When Nash gets an 82 quality match, blame EWR logic.

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · May 4, 2005

When Jocelyn came to, she was still a little hung over as she attempted to wake up.

Jocelyn: "Oog...too much fun last night, I take it. Hopefully I can shine for XPlosion tapings tonight." Jocelyn began to shake a little of it off, slowly getting more aware of her surroundings. "Hmmm- I must have had the foresight to get a hotel room...damn, I'm good." She proceeded to look on the dresser, where she was startled to find a bouquet of flowers next to her. "Well, that seems to be fairly nice of this hotel..." A little sated, Jocelyn decided to wake up, throwing off the bedsheets and welcoming the day. Jocelyn felt somewhat pleased...until she chanced to look down at the bedsheet and see some dried blood on the bedsheet, then saw some more around her legs. Jocelyn reached for the bouquet and read the card, then screamed...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That Thursday, I was on my way to Nashville as normal for the XPlosion tapings. I don't know why, but today seemed like a good day. I guess I had to take Alex's advice to heart. Jayce wouldn't go against me like that- he was my boy. He could never go against me like that. I decided to head over to the office to try to see what my bookings were for the night, only to be approached by Jerry and Vince...

Jerry: "Tom! Great to see you. Listen, I wanted to talk to you regarding some plans we were coming up with for your character..."

Vince: "You're doing great stuff, Tommy- real XTREME, ya know? The crowds love to hate the US-2..."

"Why, thank you, sirs...I try to do my best..."

Jerry: "Anyways, I wanted to talk to you- I already got the news to Jayce, Jay, and Danny. We're planning to try and give Team America2 more of a mainstream push. We'd like you guys to cut an album, we'll try and market it on our websites and in some local stuff."

Vince: "We think it'll be RATINGZ: a young, hot boy band that also happens to be some great wrestlers? That'll make SO much money! The ladies will love you guys, the guys will love to hate you even more!"

"I see...well, it sounds like it'll be fun. Might be a problem considering my work with AWA, but I like it."

Jerry: "It goes on. Since you're obviously the leader of team America2, you're going to get a lot of the pushes as the head of it. You'll be seen as the leader of the band as well as be given a singles push here in NWATNA to go with it."

"What kind of singles push are we talking about?"

Vince: "We're planning to give you the NWA X Title, then we'll be going from there."

"This is great! Will I be allowed mic time, or will it be managed like normal?"

Jerry: "Actually, we didn't want to tell you, but Robbie asked for his release from TNA in order to focus on his work with AWAMLW and wOw. The tentative plan is to keep you as the mouthpiece as well as in-ring leader, but then, things are subject to change."

"Sounds like a lot of responsibility..."

Jerry: "Well, we have the utmost faith you can handle it..." I left the office almost pumped to work. I was in line to get a big push, and some mainstream respect as well. I didn't know what could bring me down as this occurred...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Jocelyn fingered the card from her bouquet as she was rather pissed.

Jocelyn: "Punk...I can't believe this. Did I actually agree to that? I must have been WASTED. I need to get answers, and I need them now..." Jocelyn stormed into the men's dressing room, finally managing to find CM Punk in the back and getting in his face.

Punk: "So...sleeping beauty finally woke up..."

Jocelyn: "Yeah, yeah...might I ask what this is about?"

Punk: "Well, I had to be the gentleman- a man always sends flowers the morning after. My kudos to you- you were so good last night, I never could have guessed you were a virgin..." Just then, Jocelyn got pissed off...

Jocelyn: "WHAT THE FUCK? How much DID I drink last night?"

Punk: "Don't worry yourself, little lady- be happy I get to be the first notch on your belt. Many women have had a chance at this...you should take pleasure in your night of passion with the hottest worker in the indy scene today..."

Jocelyn: "AAAAAAAAAARGH!" Jocelyn left the room blushing and screaming as she headed over to her spot on XPlosion...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NWATNA XPlosion

As XPlosion started, the scene shifted to the 3 Live Kru's locker room, where they were chilling out.

BG James: "So anyway, I'm the best wrestler in the world, I'm the best looking guy in the world, I'M BG JAMES, BITCH! Let's celebrate, bitches!"

Kevin Hayes: "YEAH!"

BG James: "No, no celebrating for you- you haven't proven yourself worthy yet. Go get us some drinks, bitch." The 3 Live Kru kept celebrating for a little bit, until Ron Killings spoke up...

Killings: "Where's Kev with our drinks? Was that too much for the kid?" Just then, a hand passed him a drink.

Killings: "Oh, thanks, Kev..." Killings then looked over to see Jayce Simmons holding the beverage.

Simmons: "Bzzt...Wrong answer, K-Kwik..." Tom Goddard, Jay Matthews, and Danny Hillstead soon joined Simmons, as the four proceeded to lay into the 3 Live Kru, leaving them sprawled out on the ground outwards.

Goddard: "Say, Mister Simmons?"

Simmons: "Yo, what up T-Godd?"

Goddard: "All I can say after this...heinous assault is one thing..."

Matthews: "What's that, T?" Goddard got to the ground and got into BG James's face....

Goddard: "That was...COLD-BLOODED!" Team America2 laughed as the show started...

(78)

Meltzer: "A vicious attack by Team America2 to start off this great episode of XPlosion!"

Richter: "Yeah...great episode...it better be...AARGH!"

Meltzer: "Aww...what's wrong?"

Richter: "Nothing, Meltzer...I just hope tonight's able to get my mind off stuff..."

Meltzer: "Don't worry...I heard Bad Luck will be defending their NWA Tag Team titles against Chris Sabin and The Amazing Red tonight...they always set young girls' hearts aflutter- don't you think so, Jocelyn?"

Richter: "I am REALLY not in the mood for this today, Dave..."

Meltzer: "Aww...is it someone's time of the month?"

Richter: "GODDESS! That is SUCH a sexist comment, Dave!"

Meltzer: "Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die..."

Richter: "I am GOING to kill you..."

Meltzer: "Yeah, yeah..."

The PsychoKillers d. The SAT (39, 75, 57)

Richter: "Ah, finally something easy to take. In happier times this week, I was lucky enough to get an interview with our former X-Division Champion, Jason Cross, in another segment of 'Idol Chatter with Jocelyn Richter!' Let's get to the tape...grumble..."

Richter: "Hello, TNA fans! Welcome to another edition of 'Idol Chatter' with your host, the TNA Idol, Jocelyn Richter! With me this time is our ex-X Division Champ..."

Cross: "Oh, don't use that word. I am RIGHTFULLY the X-Division champion still, Miss Richter..."

Richter: "Why? Chris Sabin beat you on Sunday. You lost the title fair and square..."

Cross: "I'd expect that from someone like you. Someone like you and the rest of TNA's announce staff never gave my run the credit it deserved. It hardly surprises me that you lord this win over, but forget the fact that it happened because I was SCREWED OVER by our World Champion, Jerry Lynn..."

Richter: "Oh, sure. Then the fact that you then proceeded to attack Jerry Lynn after his matchup was nothing?"

Cross: "Of course it was. I had to get revenge for this. I was the most overlooked champion in NWATNA when I held the titles. I'm sorry I never had any experience in ECW, or have some silly little catchphrase like our X-Division paper champion. No, all I did was wrestle and wrestle well, and everybody treated me like I was nothing. Well, that's going to change. Jerry Lynn proved his falseness when he helped Chris Sabin win the X-Division title. I'm going to get my revenge in the only way I know how, and that is by taking his World Heavyweight Title from him. For too long, I've been treated like a second-rater. When I beat down Lynn and take the World Title from him, people will HAVE to recognize me as the holder of the most prestigious title belt in the world today!"

Richter: "Okay. Does his recent managerial agreement with Torrie Wilson threaten you in any form?"

Cross: "Why should it? So he has some plastic Playboy model in his corner. It doesn't make him any more threatening to me. I still see it for what it is...some broke-ass Chad Kroeger wannabe trying to use a beard to make him look like more than what he is. He will get his comeuppance from me. NO ONE WILL IGNORE ME AGAIN IN NWATNA!"

Richter: "Strong words from Jason Cross- well, this has been 'Idol Chatter'. I'm Jocelyn Richter, going back to the action!"

(74)

Five Star Attraction d. The Gathering to retain X-Tag Titles (48, 82, 65)

Bad Luck v. Chris Sabin and The Amazing Red

Well, this was a surprisingly good match. Considering Sabin and Red never really tagged that much apart from being in Team USA together, they meshed well with the champions in this match. Of course, Bad Luck's style is quickly gelling together and putting on excellent matches. Quick tags and X Division-style fighting made the match a great show to watch. Jayce Simmons hit a Missile Dropkick on The Amazing Red while Tom Goddard tried to set Chris Sabin up for the My Final Heaven, until BG James came to the ring and hit a "Charlie Murphy!" punch to the back of Goddard's head. Seeing the spot to take the advantage, Chris Sabin hit a Future Shock on Tom Goddard and pinned him to get the win! After the match, Sabin and Red held up the NWA Tag Team Titles in celebration- until another referee came down to the ring and told the referee of the interference. The referee ordered the match restarted, when Jayce Simmons hit a Dropkick on Chris Sabin, sending him off the ropes. Tom Goddard then proceeded to lock the Final Fantasy on Sabin, causing him to tap out and give the champs the victory. Not a bad matchup...

(67, 85, 76)

Over: 71

After the match, I was still pretty pumped from the stuff. It felt almost like nothing in the world could have gotten me down. I chanced to see Jocelyn on the way. I headed over to talk to her...

"Jocelyn! Hey, did you hear the news about the big push they're planning for me? I'm going to get a singles run, and they'll try me for mainstream stuff, and...wait, where are you going?" I saw Jocelyn run off from me. Not thinking, I chased after her and finally cornered her near the exit.

"What's wrong, Jocelyn? You seem a little off today...what's wrong?" Jocelyn started crying as she spoke...

Jocelyn: "Well, it was...after Jayce left...I...I got drunk, and...and..."

"Well, and what?"

Jocelyn: "I...I slept with CM Punk..." Jocelyn started sobbing into my arms as my mind started racing...

(in mind)

CM Punk: "You won't be needing this..." I saw an image of Punk reaching into my chest and ripping my heart out, then mallet it into softness before making the sXe sign. When I came to, I felt a strange feeling, almost as if I would never be happy again. I broke off from Jocelyn's arms and rushed off to my car, staying in it while everyone else left, and just began crying...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · May 14, 2005

After a little while alone, my car slowly became the last one in the parking lot. Around this time, I was approached by Alex as he opened the door.

Alex: "Here- come on. I'll drive."

"I see...but I'm usually the one who starts the drives. Why are you willing to do it...?" Alex then looked straight at me...

Alex: "Because I feel like if I don't drive, you're going to drive us off a cliff..."

"You...you read my mind, didn't you...?"

Alex: "Yeah...I'm sorry about what happened, man..."

"*sniff* You said...that nothing would happen...you lied to me..."

Alex: "Come on, how was I to know about Punk trying to get with her? I knew Jayce wouldn't, but Punk- that guy was a horndog. I didn't think he was after her, but...but...can you forgive me?"

"Sure, man- you're not Punk. Now, let's go on the road..." We headed off on the road towards Providence and the wOw shows.

Alex: "Do you want to pick the music? That could help you get your mind off of this..." I looked through my CDs and chose...

"Dashboard. Need Dashboard..."

Alex: "ARE YOU INSANE? In your condition? I don't want you slitting your wrists on the window glass here..."

"Okay...I won't put in Dashboard..." I went back through my CDs...

Alex: "BRIGHT EYES? THAT'S EVEN WORSE IN YOUR STATE OF MIND! Here. I'm going to put in something that will be rocking- something that will get your mind off of it." Alex went through my CDs and put something in...

<<WE BUILT THIS CITY, We built this city on rock and roll...>> I felt the tears start flowing, going back to when I met her...

Alex: "Aww, crap..." Alex kept driving as my tears flowed like waterfalls. We stopped at every rest stop to drain the car out. I saw people look through the window and see me in tears. I knew what I had to do to get people to keep from talking...

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I AM A WRESTLER AND I WILL KILL YOU ALL IF YOU DO NOT SHUT UP!"

Alex: "Oh great, he's channelling Pat Tanaka again...come on, Tom..."

"IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE YOU, I DO NOT LACK SPIRIT!"

"It's not going to work..."

"ALL RIGHT, THEY ASKED FOR IT!" I got in the driver's seat and proceeded to play bumper-cars in the parking lot.

The next morning...our heroes were in a local holding cell.

Alex: "I told you it wasn't going to work..."

"Well, they were getting shots of a worker crying. I needed to keep kayfabe..."

Alex: "WHEN DID YOU THINK PLAYING BUMPER CARS IN A REST AREA PARKING LOT WAS A GOOD IDEA?"

"Chill out- I'm getting us the money to be bailed out...let's just relax..." I waited for our check to clear, then we continued on our trip, finally getting to Providence somewhat late...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · May 20, 2005

(whacked Out wrestling Memorial is being written in "NO-TAG" vision because Reflecto is lazy following the move to home. It's hard not to watch anime when I have all this downtime, yaknow...)

That night, Robbie was in a complete bind.

Robbie: "Oh crap...tonight's the first night I have to deal with...with him. What do I say to Tom? I need to know if this is true...but how do I make him answer? What am I supposed to do?" Just then, he had his answers changed...

(scratching seen as it shifts over to Tom...)

...as I made it to the show, I saw Robbie proceed to look over towards me. It seemed like he was concerned over something...

"Um...Robbie...what's wrong?"

Robbie: ("BLAST! How do I breach this issue?") "Um...well, I've been hearing things about you, Tom...I need to know if they're true or not..."

"Well, I will need to get through this...could you close the door behind us, Robbie?" Robbie headed over to close the door.

Robbie: "Well, sure. I needed this...what's the problem?" I couldn't stop. I looked at Robbie, someone who'd been like a favorite uncle to me throughout my life, and the pain just flowed again...

"Well...I don't want the boys in back to see me cry..." I bawled into Robbie's shoulder and just kept going as Robbie started to console me...

Robbie: "Come on, Tommy...what's wrong now?"

"It...it was Punk...he...he...he seduced her..." I tapered off as

Robbie: ("Okay. Either this is my baby girl who Punk got his greasy, straight-edge mitts on, or my best worker's been rendered into nothing by someone. What do I do?") "Does...does this girl mean that much to you...?"

"This one's....this one's more important...I...I love her, Robbie..."

Robbie: ("Well, now it's time to go into the 'normal Robbie' mode. I'll leave my questions for when he's feeling better...") "Well, if this girl means this much to you, you have to fight for her. Let me guess- you never tried to fight yet, did you?"

"N-no...no time to..."

Robbie: "Well go to Nashville and DO IT, man! If this girl means that much to you, Tommy, you have to go there and fight CM Punk. Make a stand, kid!"

"O...okay..." I had to think on this one. It was normal. I knew that I had to, but I was still not in my right mind. Unfortunately, I couldn't find someone in the same predicament as I was in...

(Meanwhile, at a mental institution...)

"Now, you're aware you're not a robot, Mr.Hardy...?"

Matt Hardy: "Yes, sir. Thank you for your help. Now to get back to work." Matt Hardy left the insane asylum, then turned to the camera... "THAT NEVER HAPPENED IN THIS UNIVERSE, DAMMIT!" Matt Hardy headed to the screen as it went back to me...

I thought through it and decided. I was going to GET CM Punk as soon as possible and avenge the loss of my beloved's innocence...

( The InterKnight: "Hey, wasn't this supposed to be basically consensual, Flec? And on the same topic, why is Tom this angry when he's had a bunch of chicks himself, to boot?"

Reflecto: "Those are good questions, assistant. It's because of these that I have created this...I give you, the 'SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF GUNDAM!' GUNDAM- ATTACK!" Just then, a large giant robot marked with the wOw logo came out and attacked The InterKnight!

Reflecto: "Remember, kids, a wide-spread and weird story like wOw Memorial will occasionally have parts of it with more holes than Swiss cheese. For that, we remind you- suspending your disbelief is for your own good! This Gundam will make sure of that!"

The InterKnight: "I...wish...I did...")

____________________________________________________________________

WWE Heat (in "Reflecto still doesn't have the heart to write out matches...")

Jerrelle Clark d. Cassidy O'Reilly after O'Reilly shocked by Clark changing to April Hunter (40,84, 62)

The Naturals d. Kyo Dai (45,81,63)

Casey and Michaels d. Lethal and Wylde (43,90,66)

After the break, a video came up on the TitanTron...

(INT. A padded cell. Matt Hardy is seen from the back.) (On-screen words in BOLD.)

"My life has been in the realm of living hell.

My scars have yet to heal.

THE SCAR WILL BECOME A SYMBOL.

My family was never there for me.

My mother passed away too young.

My father is a giant orange cat who only speaks Japanese, and I never learned the language.

Dukes killed my brother.

FUCK DUKES.

These bring a scar that can never heal on my psyche.

THE SCAR WILL BECOME A SYMBOL.

My wrestling style has been too much for me to bear.

There were times when I thought I was a robot.

And then...then I paralyzed a man...who was only doing his job to make me look good.

I have looked through these things. And now, I know who is responsible for my pain." The camera changed over to Matt Hardy, showing a big scar in an "X" sign on his face.

Hardy: "THE SCAR WILL BECOME A SYMBOL."

On-screen: MATT HARDY RETURNS TO RAW TOMORROW.

(73)

Brandon Robinson d. Jonah Edelman (58,93,75)

Joey Hamm d. Jorge Estrada (62,81,71)

Molly Holly d. Gail Kim via "Cat-Fu" by Jerrelle Clark (67,71,69)

Orlando Jordan d. X-Pac (67,78,72)

Orlando Jordan seen lured into Sharmell Sullivan's locker room (57)

Metro d. Goddard and Blackman via Rico interference (62,87,74)

Over: 67

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · May 24, 2005

That night, I was as tense as I had ever been. I had been in wrestling matches since I graduated from high school and started taking bookings around New England. I had main-evented Pay-Per-Views, and fought for World Titles on many occasions. However, none of those things was as big as tonight's would be. Unlike those other nights, I wasn't going out there for a scripted match, I was going through this show with the intent purpose of getting in the first real fight I had gotten into since I was in elementary school and the bullies tried to start stuff with me because of who my family were. I tried to get there late- all the better to make people think that I didn't know. As far as I knew, the only person who knew what CM Punk was going to get that night was me, and I sure as hell wasn't telling. It was like my father told me when I was getting into fights- never let the other person know what you're going to do to them. I sneaked through and headed to the board. I saw my match- apparently, they were going with my X-Division title shot that night. No matter- I knew I'd be going over. I just hoped that there would be no problems for this. I heard the roar of the crowd as I saw TNA start up...

NWA: Total Nonstop Action:

West: "WELCOME TO TNA WRESTLING! Tonight, we gawt an awesawme show for yas..."

Tenay: "That's right, Don! The NWA World Title is on the line in our main event, as the World Champion Jerry Lynn will be putting his title up against the monster Abyss!"

West: "You just know that his managa Tawrrie Wilson will get invawlved in that, Tenay!"

Tenay: "That's not the only title on the line tonight, as X-Division champion Chris Sabin will be putting his newly won title up against one-half of the NWA Tag Champions and the leader of Team America2, Tom Goddard!"

West: "You can't count out Tawm Gawddard, Tenay- I'm more and more impressed with this kid's work each time I see him!"

Tenay: "Let's get to the action, Don!" Just then, John Walters headed out to the ring accompanied by David Young and Goldylocks for his match.

John Walters d. Tom Carter (28,79,53)

Jason Cross d. BG James (76,77,76)

After the match, Cross celebrated his victory, only to have Torrie Wilson come out to the ring. Cross fell for her distraction enough to allow Jerry Lynn to clock him with the title belt. Lynn posed for the fans as the show went to break...

CM Punk v. Psychosis

It's a shame. This match was an awesome match to see in the ring, with two excellent workers meshing very well there. However, and it's hard to write about after the fact of what happened, this match was marred very quickly. About 5 minutes in the matchup, Tom Goddard walked out to the top of the ramp dressed up as CM Punk...

West: "What's Tawm Gawddard doin' out here? His match isn't until lata!"

Tenay: "More to the point, why is he dressed as CM Punk?" Goddard took a microphone out...

Goddard: "I AM STRAIGHT EDGE. No drugs have made this body get weakened. This is because I AM STRAIGHT EDGE. No tobacco goes into this body. This is because I AM STRAIGHT EDGE..."

Tenay: "Apparently, Tom Goddard has transferred to CM Punk's lifestyle (Don! Did you know anything about this?)"

West: "Um, yeah, Tenay! (Don't ashk me, I'm just as clueless as you awe!)"

Goddard: "No alcohol goes into this body. However, this does NOT mean I don't steal myself the benefits of people under the influence of alcohol. This is because I AM STRAIGHT EDGE." CM Punk looked over at Goddard and appeared to be muttering something under his breath as Goddard continued...

Goddard: "This leaves the question, what do I do for fun if I am as Straight Edge as this?" Tom Goddard then pulled out a cucumber. "This is Julio Dinero, right here..." Goddard began to stroke the cucumber...

West: "WHAT IS GAWDDARD DOING, TENAY?"

Goddard: "...and this...this is Gabe Sapolsky, right here..." Goddard began to simulate oral sex on the cucumber as the announcers tried to cut back to the ring...

Tenay: "I don't believe this...TNA fans, you have to believe me when I tell you that this is NOT in the script for tonight's show!"

Goddard: "Mmm...I love doing this...this is because I AM STRAIGHT EDGE..."CM Punk, getting too pissed off for words from this, quickly rolled up Psychosis and had the referee count it, then made a beeline out there as the match ended. I hate a good match spoiled...

(79,94,86)

After the match, Punk headed over and took a mic himself...

Punk: "Oh, great impression, Goddard- at least NOW I know why your gimmick works so well..."

Goddard: "Yeah, right, Punk- I'm surprised they didn't stick it to you..."

Punk: "Face facts- I'm the biggest name in the indies, and you'll always be number two. And we ALL know what number two is..."

Goddard: "The stuff you eat from the ass of a hairless Latino man named Taco?"

Punk: "Oh, great joke, Goddard. The fact remains- you have the gimmick where you take the shaft, where my skill with the ladies is so high, I guess you could say it can be measured on the Richter scale..." Goddard looked pissed off...

Goddard: "THAT'S IT, PUNK! YOUR ASS IS MINE!" Goddard proceeded to punch Punk in the mouth, then the two proceeded to get into a huge fight...

West: "What's happening, Tenay?"

Tenay: "Ladies and gentlemen- I'm...I'm shocked. Can someone cut away? This wasn't in the script for tonight's matches, folks. CUT AWAY, DAMMIT! CUT AWAY FROM THIS!" The TNA locker room emptied as people tried to pull Goddard off of Punk, failing a couple times as the show basically screeched to a halt. Finally, the workers managed to separate the two as they were led backstage.

Tenay: "Ladies and gentlemen...I apologize profusely for what you had to see there...wrestlers are only human, after all. Sometimes, wrestlers legitimately have a problem with each other, and it erupts backstage into something big. That in itself is bad enough. This time, however- this time, it wasn't, unfortunately. These two had such bad blood they couldn't even keep it backstage, and now the world has to deal with what they have wrought. I guess it's a problem with live Pay-Per-Views."

West: "Let's...let's just try and get awn with the show, Tenay..."

(76-Yes, I actually scripted it in EWR. I was bad.)

Raven d. Ron Killings (75,74,74)

Jeff Jarrett d. Konnan (75,86,80)

After the break, Jerry Jarrett came out to the ring with Vince Russo and took a mic...

Jarrett: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is where in a perfect world, we'd see the NWA X-Title match between the champ, Chris Sabin, and the challenger Tom Goddard. However, it is with a heavy heart that I have to come out here tonight. I know that me and Vince here rarely show up these days on-screen here at NWA:Total Nonstop Action, but it is a necessity here tonight. We may be the people who run TNA for the most part, but at the end of the day, that just makes us bosses, and well, tonight these things just seem to have problems for it. In wrestling, there are everyday problems- people who dislike each other, people who even hate each other, and the like. In that way, it's just like modern life. Hell, there's even a few fights every now and then by those people. These usually get handed on, but most of them follow the simple rule that it either occurs by working stiff in the ring on your opponent or comes into play backstage. Either way, it is done in a way where no one has to know about it. However, tonight changed all that. For the first time I can think of in wrestling, a backstage fight was televised for all the world to see. Characters were thrown out the window, and in its place was left with something that broke the cardinal rule of wrestling: If you have a problem with someone, keep it offscreen. The actions taken tonight by Phil Brooks and Thomas Eckstein-Goddard were something that will likely make this go down as a dark day in the history of American professional wrestling. The staff of NWA:Total Nonstop Action will be meeting throughout the next few days regarding this, but just going from what I know, there is a very good chance you will never see the wrestlers you know as CM Punk or Tom Goddard in a TNA ring again."

Tenay: "Strong words by Mr. Jarrett. You know, Don, you hate to see two young kids like this, people whom you could consider the future of NWA:Total Nonstop Action, basically throw it all away in something like this. Whatever happens to these two would be entirely deserved in my opinion."

West: "It's a real shame, Tenay...CM Punk and Tawm Gawddard were two of our brightest young stahrs, too."

Russo: "It is because of this thing that we have made a change to tonight's X-Title matchup. In order to keep some semblance of logic to the show, we would like to announce that replacing Tom Goddard in the match will be his teammate, Jayce Simmons. Here's hoping we can get on with the show as normal..." Simmons then headed to the ring as stonefaced as he could be and waited for the champion to come out.

(X-Title) Chris Sabin v. Jayce Simmons

Well, this was not what I expected. I guess you could expect this, as neither had the time to put on a really good matchup with the style. Neither is experienced enough so you could expect them to put on a good match on the fly, so what followed was basically a spotfest. The spots were nice, but you could tell they weren't totally on what could have been. I would like to see what they could do with a bit more time to prepare something like this, however. The extra thing that surprised me was the ending, as Jayce Simmons managed to hit a Missile Dropkick on Sabin and get the pinfall on him- something surprising, as I was sure they wouldn't have the title change hands in a replacement matchup. Either Goddard was supposed to get the belt and they're trying to keep it as close to the original plan was possible, or they decided a title change was what was needed to get people's minds off of the incident beforehand. Either way, hopefully Simmons will be able to get a good run with it- he's been catching fire as of late.

(57,88,72)

Jerry Lynn d. Abyss by DQ via Jason Cross interference to retain NWA World Title (66,85,75)

Over: 74

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · May 29, 2005

Meanwhile, at the offices of NWATNA, the people in charge were in a number of deliberations regarding their most recent setback:

Dixie Carter: "So, what do you two plan to do about last night's show? You have it dead to rights..."

Jerry Jarrett: "Well, it's pretty straightforward, really. Punk and Goddard fought on live TV. We had to change the booking mid-show to explain it. We need to discipline them."

Jeff Jarrett: "If I may interject, it could be a problem, Dad. I've been hearing the crowds out there. CM Punk is getting much more heel heat than I am right now, and Tom Goddard's not too far behind my own heat. They're two of the hottest heels we have in the company right now. Add that to the fact that Goddard's got one half of the Tag Titles, and we would be putting ourselves in a pickle if we fire them."

Vince Russo: "Well, what are we supposed to do about this? They're heels, so I can't exactly make a SHOOT FEUD~! for any long length of time between these two."

Jeff: "Well, I would suggest we think about suspending them. CM Punk gets over, but a suspension would add to his momentum. It might also be weaker for Goddard- with how much steam he's picking up, to drop him for a suspension could kill his heat badly..."

Russo: "Exactly the reason he should be suspended, then! He'd learn not to do that shit again!"

Jerry: "I dunno- on either side, can we risk the potential for worse stuff to us...I don't know what could occur..."

Meanwhile, at the WWE show, Shane Goddard was somewhat excited as he headed over to Triple H...

Triple H: "You look-uh happy...what's the big deal-uh?"

Goddard: "What would your father-in-law say if there was a chance I could deliver him the World Champion of one of our top rivals on a silver platter?"

Triple H: "What-uh are you talking about?"

Goddard: "You didn't watch last night's TNA Pay-Per-View, did you?"

Triple H: "NWATNA-uh?"

Goddard: "Well, to suffice, it seems my little brother Tom- you remember him, right?"

Triple H: "I guess-uh..."

Goddard: "Basically, he made this obviously out-of-character mistake, and the word is he may be released from his NWATNA contract because of it. I know he told me you guys were interested in him, but he couldn't sign because of that contract. If this occurs, you basically get the reigning AWA World Champion on roster, making a huge coup for the WWE."

Triple H: "You serious-uh? Tom Goddard could be released-uh?"

Goddard: "Serious as anything. I'm not sure why he did what he did, but I can vouch for it being a one-time thing..."

Triple H: "I'll have to give this info-uh to Vince, then..."

Goddard: "Excellent. Now, let's get out there and kick some ass..."

WWE RAW

Joey Hamm v. Sean Casey (36,88,55)

After the break, Triple H got in the ring and took the mic...

Triple H: "You people-uh...I have a serious problem-uh with what's been going on the last few weeks. Someone-uh has a problem with me, and some group of Devo fans-uh or something have been going after me for whatev-uh reason. So I'm-uh calling that group-uh out and I WILL-uh GET REVENGE ON THEM-UH! Now, get out here, DEVOLUTION!" Just then, "Whip It" hit as Bam Bam Bigelow and Larry Zybysko came out to the ring wearing black armbands and took the mic...

Zybysko: "Oh, now you're ready to see what we've got. Right now, you have two people here who are ready to take you down. Unfortunately, we have managed to lose one of our workers, which is why we would like to have a moment of silence for our fallen friend..." The two stopped talking, only to have Triple H stop it...

Triple H: "Oh, COME ON! Who cares about some second-rat-uh? This is MY show-uh, and I will not have anyone-uh take up time I could be out here-uh!"

Bigelow: "Oh, I don't think you want to do that, or else our leader will be pissed..."

Triple H: "Oh, and who am I supposed to care about? Some other never-was or has-been?" Just then, Dean Douglas headed out of the stands and attacked him, then headed to the other members of Devolution as a 10-Bell Salute was heard and a picture of Chris Candido was on the screen.

(74)

After the break, the lights dimmed as Matt Hardy's voice was heard..."SCAR...WILL BECOME A SYMBOL." Just then, "Scars" hit as Matt Hardy came out to the ring to a mixed reaction as he took the mic...

Hardy: "Thank you, thank you. I never knew that I had so many fans- so many people who really missed me while I was gone. I was told to talk as long as I needed to about the problems that occurred here, and to tell the truth, I plan to talk about some things that were important. When I was last in this ring, I did something no worker wants to do- I crippled a man with my wrestling. I am happy to say that the worker has not blamed me, but that doesn't ease the pain in my heart. My Scar WILL become a symbol. However, I took some time throughout my rest to begin to feel better on this. And now, finally, I am here to come back and get my revenge on the one who has sent me on this spiral down into nothingness." The camera panned to Matt Hardy, as he took the mic...

Hardy: "WWE fans, I promise all of you this- I am going to find, and I am going to DESTROY EDWARD ELRIC!"

(Suddenly, The InterKnight headed over to Reflecto...

InterKnight: "All right, Flec...you can't play by yourself anymore...you end up getting weird gimmicks that way..."

"But...but...I must give these gimmicks to prove I am the brilliant, tortured genius of the Diary Dome! You must allow me to!"

InterKnight: "Yeah, yeah...")

(77)

Matt Hardy's new gimmick got a positive response because the only people who read this are also anime nerds who probably watch too much Fullmetal Alchemist (to:84)

Nicholas Dinsmore d. "Magical Boy" Race Steele (59,94,68)

Rico and Bradley Richter d. John Cena and Shane Goddard (78,82,72)

Bradley Richter gains 1 point overness for being part of a team that beat down John Cena (to: 57)

After the break, Shannon Moore was backstage with Biomonster HOSS and took the mic...

Moore: "Hello, WWE fans! I am, of course, Raw's CUTEST diva, Shannon Moore, and I am here to give all of our fans a sneak preview of the hottest fashions this fall, and to show you- well, I'll give you a sneak preview right here. HOSS-y, WOSSY...let's get into the dressing room and show these people what they want!" Shannon Moore opened up the dressing room door to see Matt Hardy sitting there...

Hardy: "Ah, my old MF'er...you'll help me...right?"

Moore: "What are you talking about, you big silly? Of course I, Raw's CUTEST Diva, will help you..."

Hardy: "Then tell me...WHERE IS EDWARD ELRIC?"

Moore: "Um...I don't know..."

Hardy: "BZZT...WRONG ANSWER..." Matt Hardy then proceeded to hit a Twist of Fate on Shannon Moore, leaving him lying on the ground. Biomonster HOSS went to attack, but got another Twist of Fate for his efforts. Matt Hardy signified the damage and took the mic...

Hardy: "Hardly worth the help..."

(71)

Orlando Jordan d. D-Von Dudley (72,74,65)

Orlando Jordan gains 2 points overness for an upset win (to: 65)

D-Von Dudley loses 1 point overness for an upset loss(to: 83)

After the match, Orlando Jordan kept celebrating in the ring. Just then, Sharmell Sullivan walked out to the ring carrying her Women's Title and took the mic...

Sullivan: "Oh, great. Start cheering this person- this heroic basketball player. Completely untarnished, isn't he? Well, you people need to know his true character...last night, after his match on Heat, he headed into my room, and...and...ORLANDO JORDAN RAPED ME!" The crowd started booing as Jordan shook his head and yelled audibly "It's not true, I swear!" as the show went to break...

(71)

Sharmell Sullivan gains 3 points overness for SO wanting it (to: 63)

Dean Douglas d. Triple H (62,74,61)

AJ Styles d. The Hurricane by Triple H interference (82,86, 75)

Over: 70

stokeriño · May 29, 2005

Matt Hardy as Scar...so wrong, yet somehow so right.

RavenBlack · June 2, 2005

For the foreseeable future, I'm back to menace everyone with giant mallets. I've been involuntarily exiled from the internet for the past 3 weeks, and the pretty bizarre problems I was having have hopefully been permanently obliterated.

Hmm...Matt Hardy as Scar...I like. I'm probably the only one who thinks that Scar's the cutie of FMA.

Sullivan: "Oh, great. Start cheering this person- this heroic basketball player. Completely untarnished, isn't he? Well, you people need to know his true character...last night, after his match on Heat, he headed into my room, and...and...ORLANDO JORDAN RAPED ME!" The crowd started booing as Jordan shook his head and yelled audibly "It's not true, I swear!" as the show went to break...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · June 5, 2005

Meanwhile, in Nashville, the heads of NWATNA were still deliberating...

Carter: "Okay, so we're in agreement both people will get punished for this. The only question is how long each of them will be suspended for. I think we should look at the tape and determine who gets the worse punishment..."

Russo: "Excuse me, but I was at the Gorilla position. There's no question- Goddard hit first. The stiffest punishment should go to him..."

Jarrett: "Russo's right- Punk didn't make the first shot, Punk should get off easier..."

Carter: "Well, that makes more sense. Goddard gets the tougher punishment. Should we fire him, or just suspend him for a fairly long time..." Just then, a knock was heard on their door...

Jocelyn: "Um...excuse me, Ms. Carter...Mr.Jarrett...Mr.Russo...um, there's something on this you need to know before making your decision..."

(scratching heard as the scene shifted to Minneapolis...)

When I made it backstage, I was met by Chance.

Chance: "Hey, Tommy G- I was wondering, bro- they're giving me some mic time for the Underground portion before the one-on-one in tonight's PPV taping, and I need to know...is it okay if I make reference to the whole...TNA thing in my interview tonight?"

"Well, I'm not sure, man...you're sure you can't get heat any other way?"

Chance: "Come on, Tommy G- I have nowhere near the charisma you've got out there. Besides, you can't be so dumb as to not realize the facts. You're the top heel in AWAMLW...who attacked a guy the hardcore fans love...on a major PPV. They're going to eat you alive tonight out there. You know you'll have to work extra hard tonight, right?"

"Damn straight, Chance. Now, here's hoping that we can do something awesome out there."

Chance: "Oh, I don't doubt that is going to occur- we always kick ass in the ring together. Now go and git 'er done!"

"*groan* Et tu, Chance?" I headed out to watch the show as it occurred...

Underground portion:

Evan Karagias d. Brandon Downard (32,77,48)

After the match, Harry Potsmoker headed out to the ring and took the mic...

Crowd: *boos*

Potsmoker: "Thank you, thank you! I'm glad to be back here, just as much as I know all of you love to see me!"

Crowd: "CM PUNK! CM PUNK!"

Potsmoker: "No, no, you've got it all wrong...I'm Harry Potsmoker, remember?"

Crowd: "CM PUNK! CM PUNK!"

Potsmoker: "Okay, okay, you can call me Tom Goddard...but just between us friends..."

Crowd: "CM PUNK! CM PUNK!"

Potsmoker: "Dammit...I have GOT to fire my agent. He told me I'd be a superstar! Lord knows I deserve it- I am, after all, YOUR reigning AWA World Champion..." The crowd booed at that remark. "Now, I have to speak on my opponent on Saturday, Chance Beckett. Now, Chance, you're a decent wrestler, to be sure. However, the fact remains. You're always going to be second to me. You headed into the Super 8, and had a breakout showing- then went back to obscurity until the AWA opened up. I went into the Super 8, finished second, and STILL will close the same calendar year as my appearance out as a World Champion. You held the Global Cruiserweight Title, and served admirably as the champion, making it a top undercard belt...well, second, of course, to MY reign as the AWA East Coast champion. You made a great run in the AWA Number-One Contender's Tournament...only to be upended in the finals, by who else? ME. And now, you're coming to get my title? I've proven time and again that I am the future of professional wrestling, the standard-bearer that will lead the sport into the next decade, while you're just another person following behind. The sooner you realize you will ALWAYS be number two, the happier you'll be. All right? Thank you. Enjoy your show, I'll be back soon..." The crowd gave a huge boo as Potsmoker left the ring.

(100)

Lori Angel d. Jamie Kogyaru by cheating to retain National Women's Title (41,57, 44)

After the break, Chance Beckett headed out to the ring and took a mic...

Beckett: "Now, people of AWAMLW. On Saturday, I'm going out there to fight in what is easily the biggest match of my career- the first match I will have for a shot at a World Title. Now, I'm rarely good with words. I could say that I'll make the most of my chance and leave Potsmoker wanting, but that's a little weak. I could say that this time, the number-two man will make his rise and become the top dog in the AWA...but that would be a little weak as well. You know, to tell the truth, there's nothing I can think of that'd work for this. So, when I was listening to Harry's thoughts out here, I kept going through, and it hit me. The only thing I need to say to Harry Potsmoker on the eve of our big match is this...

HEY, POTSMOKER- THE TIME RIGHT NOW IS 10:35 CENTRAL. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS?" The crowd gave a huge "CM PUNK!" chant as Beckett drank in the pops as Underground went to break...

(82)

Chance Beckett d. Alex Shelley, Harry Potsmoker interferes (79,99,80)

Over: 72

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · June 11, 2005

After the first half of the TV tapings, I headed over to find Chance and ask him a couple questions...

Chance: "So, what'd you think of my half of the promos?"

"Dude...nice promo, but, um, she's not my girlfriend...she's just one of my friends, you know?"

Chance: "Oh. Yeah. I believe you...sure she isn't..."

"She's not!"

Chance: "Okay, okay...there seems to be only one option for this one. You'll just have to get me booked in wOw so that I can see exactly what your relationship with this girl is. This way, there'll be no problems with it!"

"Dude, are you saying you want to get on wOw? Why didn't you just say so?" I headed over to Robbie as he was talking with some of the other Death Eaters...

Robbie: "Hey, Tom- what's up?"

"Hey, Robbie- Chance Beckett wants to get some bookings for you. I think he and I could be a good main event for Flagship- shall we start the angle on Friday's Primetime showing?"

Robbie: "Sure- I like what I see from him...tell him it's a go!"

"Okay, thanks..." I headed back over to Chance again. "It's a go- you're set for Friday to debut."

Chance: "Thanks, man! I thought we could kick some ass in wOw, and they'll be able to get some of our great matches." I heard the PPV begin to start and headed back to the Gorilla position...

PPV Portion:

As the PPV started, a video occurred as Court H. Bauer was seen walking through a grunge club. Suddenly, he saw the guy recognizable as Derrick King on stage with more of the crappy grunge music they put behind them. After a short show, Bauer headed over to him...

King: "What do you want? If it's about my rent, you'll get the money soon, I swear..."

Bauer: "No, no, it's not about rent this time. I liked what I saw up there from you..."

King: "Oh, are you a record label? Excellent- my band and I're ready to get this thing going. I've wanted to quit Burger King for a while now..."

Bauer: "Well, actually...have you ever thought about professional wrestling?"

King: "A little...why?"

Bauer: "How's about this- I run AWA:Major League Wrestling. If you can beat one of the workers for us, Chris Dobbs, then I'll give you a contract. You won't have to sing in these dingy clubs anymore..."

King: "But...I won't...NOT...have to, will I?"

Bauer: "I guess not..."

King: "Okay, you're on. ROCK ON!" Bauer and King left together as the show got rolling in the ring...

(55)

Derrick King gains 3 points overness for being all grungy and mysterious (to: 46)

Robbie Richter gains 3 points overness because the crowd hates Court H. Bauer so damn much (to: 19)

The Johnsons d. Tom Howard and Mike Sullivan, losers argue (54,72,63)

After the break, the lights dimmed as the song "Faithless" hit. A new video for the Death Eaters occurred as Alex Shelley headed to the ring carrying the AWA East Coast Title and took the mic...

Shelley: "Ah, yes...finally, the AWA is taking notice of who REALLY runs the show in this pathetic federation. You notice the great video they FINALLY begin to produce for us here, even though we are so dominant here it is insane. We have the reigning AWA East Coast Champion, myself, the National Women's Champion, and then- and then the biggest prize of all, the leader's jewel, the AWA World Championship. No man born of woman will ever destroy the greatness that is the Death Eaters' reign over the AWA. To prove this, I'm making an open challenge to anyone who feels they can be a challenger to the East Coast Champion, the next big superstar in wrestling, myself! Now, who's got some balls back there?" Just then, a worker came out to the ring and took the mic...

Worker: "So, you're taking challenges from anyone! That's what I've been waiting for. For too long, I've been stewing over the fact that Harry Potsmoker took my reign. I used to be the youngest AWA World Champion until he came along and got the belt that early. I'm going to get my revenge on him, by destroying each member of the Death Eaters, one by one, until I get back to the World Title that deserves to be mine!" Alex Shelley just looked at the worker...

Shelley: "Um...Who in the blue hell are you?"

Worker: "You don't know who I am? I'm Eric Priest!" The crowd looked puzzled...

"The Underwear Model?" The crowd still looked puzzled...

"The second-youngest AWA World Champion?" The crowd still didn't know who, with scattered "YOU'RE A JOBBER!" chants coming up.

Priest: "Aw, screw this- I'm going to kick your ass!" Priest rushed the ring and attacked Shelley as the match started... (70)

Eric Priest gains 1 point overness because no one actually knew who he was (to: 62)

Alex Shelley d. Eric Priest to retain the AWA East Coast title (48,73,60)

Derrick King d. Chris Dobbs (30, 81, 55)

Finale v. Terry Funk

As the match began, Terry Funk took the mic...

Funk: "You know, I've decided that I'm going to beat some respect into you in the only way I know how. That's why, tonight, I will beat you once for all in one match: The dreaded NO ROPE EXPLODING PANEL ELECTRIFIED BARBED WIRE DOUBLE HELL DEATH MATCH EXPLODING RING MATCH WITH $200,000 ON THE LINE!"

Richter: "He's insane! That match hasn't been tried in any sane American promotion!"

Knight: "You know he hates Finale, and he'll do whatever it takes to get sense beaten into him!"

After the introductions are made, the bell is rung, and the two felt each other out for a little bit. Funk spin kicks his way towards Finale, who, in getting out of the way of him, fell down to the laughter of the crowd. Tieup, and the two go down to the mat and try rolling each other into one of the exploding panels at ringside. Finale gets in a head butt, then tries to punch Funk until he falls onto the other exploding panel, but Funk just falls down onto the mat. Another tie up occurs as we get the first shot of the clock counting down the time until the ring BLOWS THE FUCK UP. Thirteen and a half minutes remain at this moment. When the shot returns to the ring, Funk attempts to whip Finale into the electrified barbed wire. Finale knocks Funk down with some punches. Funk sets up to charge Finale to knock him onto a panel, but Finale falls down as Funk narrowly escapes a barbed wire fate of his own. Funk jabs away at Finale, then lays him out with a spinning heel kick before hitting a kneedrop to Finale's neck for two. They tie up again, but Finale hits a neckbreaker. This followed up a facelock to set up for a suplex, but when Finale failed, Funk, who is ALREADY bleeding, to apply an armbar. Finale reverses and tries to push Funk out, but Finale baseball slides and gets up before meeting any real danger. Funk follows by rolling into a seated front facelock, but Finale breaks out. Finale works on Funk's injured arm, then DDTs him for two. Funk upends Finale, and tries to apply the spinning toe hold to no avail. He reaches for ropes, BUT THERE ARE NO ROPES, JUST ELECTRIFIED SHIT. Funk tries to weaken Finale by headbutting him. Finale goes to whip Funk into the wire, but Funk reverses to put Finale dangerously close to the exploding wire. A dropkick sends him dangerously closer, but Funk gets too cocky and tries a running forearm on Finale. All he gets is a stomach full of electric barbed wire. Finale wildly flails away, hung up in barbed wire. Five minutes to go until blast time, and we are greeted with a very loud siren. Finale finally got out of the barbed wire as Funk went for a bottle of kerosene and a flaming stick. Funk pours kerosene on Finale and takes a swig to spit it on him, but Finale dropkicks him, causing him to spit it out. The two men drag each other down, and fall out of the ring onto one of the exploding panels. The two are rolling around, and Funk eventually brings Finale back into the ring and attempts a Falcon Arrow, but Finale acts as dead weight. A second attempt for a Falcon Arrow succeeds for two. Small package by Funk gets two, and we get a different sounding siren, which STOPS! I guess that says less than a minute until blast time. And our heroes in the ring live up to the billing, as the two struggle on the ring apron before Finale CHOKESLAMS Funk off into the other exploding panel, falling in with him. Finale then scoops Funk and drops him on the electrified wire, and the crowd begins counting down to zero with the announcers. The two, sensing danger, intentionally fall flat on their faces, the timer reaches zero, AND EVERYTHING GOES BOOM. The two look like they’re both D-E-D DEAD in the ring, until Finale finally manages to put a hand on Terry Funk, allowing him to get a three count! After the match, Finale got up and proceeded to celebrate. Terry Funk looked up at Finale...only for Finale to spit on him and head out of the ring, posing for the fans when he reached the top of the ramp.

(85,79,83)

Terry Funk gains 2 points overness because the feud revitalized his career (to: 77)

Finale gains 9 points overness because of how well Terry Funk passed the torch to him (to: 84)

Reflecto gains 3 points of street cred for actually doing play-by-play for a match

Reflecto loses said street cred points when it becomes apparent to any true wOw Memorial fan that he will never, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR, do that again (I promise, wOwM fans, I don't plan to write matches like that again.)

(AWA WORLD) Harry Potsmoker v. Chance Beckett

Well, this was a pretty great match. I had known Potsmoker and Beckett always delivered the goods so far, but it seemed like they had stepped it up more. Potsmoker did his best to make Chance Beckett look like a main eventer, and Beckett did his best to prove that both he deserved his place and that Potsmoker deserved the too much, too soon push he's got. The two proceeded to put on a nice-looking, modified match that crossed spotfest with psychology. Potsmoker played the heel almost perfectly for it, getting the fans firmly behind Beckett (who up until then was questionable for his face heat.) Suddenly, Eric Priest ran out to the ring and clocked the referee with a chair, then passed it to Chance Beckett. Beckett received the chair and proceeded to clock Harry Potsmoker with the chair, laying the champ out...

Richter: "NO! THAT VILE CHEATER! NOT THIS WAY!"

Knight: "YES! GOD KNOWS HE DESERVES IT! TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE!"

Chance Beckett covered Potsmoker as the referee came to, allowing him to get the three as the crowd went nuts! Chance Beckett held up the AWA World Title as the locker room emptied to celebrate his victory...until Robbie Richter came to the ring with the rest of the Death Eaters.

R.Richter: "Well done, Mr.Beckett...good show. Unfortunately, it just so happens you made a mistake. It seems that you forgot that that...um, guy, whoever he is, anyway he gave you a chair. Since that happened,it seems that in the interests of the American Wrestling Association, we have to say that this match has been changed, and the winner as result of a Disqualification, and STILL AWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, Harry Potsmoker!" Potsmoker jumped up, grabbed the AWA World Title, and headed to the rest of the Death Eaters, where the group celebrated as they mocked the AWA locker room. (91,92,91)

Over: 71

After the show, I received a phone call. My cell had the number of Jerry Jarrett on it. I quickly answered, knowing that it would hold my future in one of the biggest feds in the world.

"Hello?"

Jarrett: "Hello, Tom? We've made our decision..."

"I see. Well, what's the view?"

Jarrett: "Well, your friend Jocelyn did tell us something about the circumstances in this one. If this happened outside the ring, hell kid, I'd be ready to shake your hand right about now. However, you did it onscreen. I can understand why you did it, but you did it onscreen, and I just can't condone that."

"And the result?"

Jarrett: "You're going to be suspended for 1 month, with pay. Punk will be suspended for 3 months- we would have fired him, but Russo and Dixie wouldn't hear of it due to you striking first."

"I understand, sir."

Jarrett: "Okay. We're hoping this won't be a problem for later. Until then, hopefully, you can take the suspension and be back better than ever."

"Okay. Thank you for not firing me, sir..."

Jarrett: "You're welcome..." I hung up the phone, elated. I had to wonder what Jocelyn said to get me off with this easy a punishment. I reminded myself to ask her when I next saw her...

(scratching to back in Nashville...)

Jocelyn: "Um, Mr.Jarrett...I was trying to get to you. There's something you need to know about why Tom attacked Punk..."

Jarrett: "Oh, really? What's the reasoning for this?" Suddenly, Jocelyn went back into her mind...

(scratching to a college room...)

Teacher: "So, Ms.Richter...you've really taken to this Women's Studies class. You're one of our best students..."

"Um, thank you, Ms.Horton..."

Ms.Horton: "You're welcome. You know...I would be interested in giving you some additional tutoring- shall I give you the address to my apartment for special classes..." Suddenly, Jocelyn went back into her own head...

Jocelyn: "EEW, EEW, EEW, I don't wanna remember that part...wait. Remember what that class taught me! I'll save Tom that way..." Jocelyn then proceeded to speak...

Jocelyn: "Tom was getting revenge on my behalf...because CM PUNK RAPED ME."

Dixie: "You're sure about this? That's a pretty serious charge, Miss Richter..."

Jocelyn: "Honestly, I thought you would be more on my side, Ms.Carter- I thought you'd understand how wrong CM Punk was to me. He did something to me that I could never think would happen to me, and now...and now you want to fire my only true friend, the only person who was man enough to fight Punk for what he did to me...I can't take it!" Jocelyn started sobbing...

Russo: "Well, I didn't know that part."

Jarrett: "I know. Somehow, I understand why Tom would do it. I know you two are close, so I can at least understand why he'd attack Punk. I'll think about what's going on, Jocelyn. My one question is, will you be able to work with CM Punk if we don't do firings?"

Jocelyn: "*sobs* If...If Tom isn't fired...I'll...I'll be able to work with him...as long as I have my protector...*sobs*"

Jarrett: "Okay. We'll keep it in mind. You can go..."

Jocelyn: "*sobs* Thank you..." Jocelyn left the room and quickly darted away from earshot of the office... "They BOUGHT IT. Tom, you owe me BIG TIME..."

RavenBlack · June 20, 2005

*finds topic, realizes Reflecto posted and she never noticed* *hangs head in shame*

Yeesh.

Anyways...gotta corral the Vermont EWBers, and this is as good a place as any to start. I've been grinning like a total idiot since this morning. Heard on the radio that Smackdown's headed back up here for a house show on July 31st. I'm on ticket buying duty again, so I'll be out in front of the Flynn Theater bright and early on Friday. I'll probably be digging my lucky DX shirt out of the closet for the occasion.

*sigh* I need to stop complaining that nothing ever happens up here. :shifty:

The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

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