The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

[kale]

This diary is really entertaining to me, especially since it's done anime style and it's well, for a lack of better words, whacked out.

[stokeriño]

*Marks out for Gronda's inexplicable Pedro impersonation*

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

whacked Out wrestling Memorial: New Year's Special!

Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our latest in a string of extras given to keep wOw Memorial going through break: The whacked Out wrestling New Year's Extravaganza!

Tonight's show features your favorite wOw workers in skits for your goal- that YOU, the wOw Memorial fan get to vote on afterwards! Here's our teams..."

"Hi, y'all! I'm Reflecto, and with me is the White Team!" A scattering of wOw Memorial characters in white clothing were there as two dressed as what appeared to be ghosts [who my sources told me were indy workers Cade Sydal and Daron Smythe] were chanting "WHITE TEAM POWER!"

"Hey, everyone, I'm The InterKnight, and with me is the Red Team!" A scattering of more wOw Memorial figures in red clothing took place while two guys in Russian outfits kept shouting "Da, Comrades! Tonight we will strike down the proletariat of the White Team for the Glorious Revolution of the Red Team's victory!"

Reflecto: "Welcome to tonight's New Year's Special- the rare interactive show for wOw Memorial [please make it interactive- I need this...]. Tonight, we'll be showing a few specials featuring produced by actual wOw Memorial characters for a prize, most likely involving one of the two of us having to perform an obscenely biological forfeit of some kind. Why were we able to get wOw Memorial characters to do this? Well, we've offered them a prize as well..." Just then, the scene pointed upwards, as a tied-up Tom Goddard was lowered to the sightline of the crowd...

Goddard: "HEY! I never agreed to this, you know! REFLECTO NO BAKA! INTERKNIGHT NO BAKA! NI BAKAS!!!!!!"

Reflecto: "While we're doing this, we've got a special going around back here, as we've found three of wOw Memorial's fanbase willing to try to set a record for the longest period spent bitching about wOw Memorial! Let's go to them right now..." Just then, the scene shifted to Robbie Richter at a site where three people (recognizable as Stokerino, RavenBlack, and maddog) were talking...

Stokerino: "So this is totally wrong! I mean, this bills itself as anime-style, but what thing did these characters come from? At least with AGW or APWR, you KNEW where the characters came from..."

maddog: "And what's with the setting? What part of Rhode Island are they in, mate? Getting from here to Minnesota in one day, or there to Nashville in the same? Are these guys superhuman?"

RavenBlack: "Don't even get me started on what they did to my Alex-sama...turning him into a psychic? How much crack did Reflecto smoke for that one?"

Richter: "We'll be back at random intervals for this one to continue..."

The InterKnight: "Excellent, Robbie! Now, it's time for my team's first one...apparently created by Missy Hardy and MICKIE-KNUCKLES..." Meanwhile, in the Red Team's stands, Jared Steele was looking at Missy...

Steele: "Wait one second! Come on, he's one of my best friends! Why would you try to win a contest to bag him?"

Missy: "I dunno...I was bored, I found out MICKIE had a camcorder function inside her...I decided to make a skit..."

Steele: "Yeah, but...but...Come on!"

Missy: "A better question would be...why does this matter to you, Jared? Is there something you want to tell me...?"

Steele: "Well, um...uh...that is to say..." Just then, Hawk Younkins ran over from the White Team's side...

Younkins: "NOW I'VE GOT YOU, STEELE!" Hawk tried to lock in an Evil Face on Jared Steele, but Steele threw his chair at him and ran off...

InterKnight: "Anyway, let's get to the skit!"

"Team whacked Out wrestling presents a new era of cool, coming at you...

TEAM STEELE.

You all must know me, the king of cool. The Real Deal, if you will. Jared Steele's the name. " Scenes of Steele were shown in the ring.

"Apparently, somewhere along the line, I got ahold of some really top-secret stuff. Now, I'm on the run from what seems to be everybody you can think of." Scenes of Steele being attacked were shown.

"Don't worry about me, though- luckily, I've got a few friends along for the ride..."

"Vance Nevada- second-rate wrestler, maybe, but quite possibly the luckiest man alive..." Scenes are shown of bad guys firing shots at Nevada, only for them to stop dead in their tracks right before they hit him. Nevada picks them up and throws them, shooting the bad guys with their force...

"MICKIE-KNUCKLES...powerhouse, skilled fighter, and a cute little robot girl all rolled into one..." Scenes were shown of KNUCKLES attacking enemies...

"Missy Hardy...a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a body that'd make a bishop kick out a stained-glass window..." Scenes were shown of Missy using magic on some bad guys.

"Oh look- there's Old Man Younkins. He always does this stuff, but he'll never manage to catch up with me and my crew...having fun back there?" Shots of Younkins chasing Steele.

"Yep- seems like another day's work for me and the rest of:

TEAM STEELE..."

InterKnight: "Wasn't that great, kids?" A scattering of applause from the Red Side showed its support.

Reflecto: "Well, that's great, but next is MY team's turn...and the director here is...Mr.Productive Anal Virginity?" Just then, Goddard swayed back and forth...

Goddard: "OH NO... I did NOT agree to that one...SOMEONE GET MY AGENT ON THE PHONE!!!!!"

Reflecto: "Well, here it is..."

"Un film de Mr.Productive Anal Virginity...

SEX AND FRIENDS..."

Scenes air between many different freaky acts, including: Alex Wright and a random woman in a scheisse video, a really high-class woman in period costume taking a dump in a pot underneath the layers of the dress, Mr.PAV himself making love to a large black Chyna-lookalike, two dogs humping, and a small man with a monotone voice saying "Lick me..." over and over again...

"This has been un film de Mr.Productive Anal Virginity..."

InterKnight: "Oh...my god. WHAT THE SPROCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? WHAT WERE YOU DOING THERE?"

Reflecto: "Well, in part of it I was doing Jonathan Swift- it was a calculated literary move..."

InterKnight: "Dude...seek help. Seek more help."

Reflecto: "Okay...well, let's get to the next skit..." Just then, Christopher Daniels and Court H. Bauer headed down the ramp...

Daniels: "Hold up...we want to join in on this, too!"

Reflecto: "You two? But why?"

Bauer: "I saw the prize: The winner gets to hit Tom Goddard, and, well, we want to! Can we hit him as hard as we want to?"

Daniels: "Yeah- we wanna give him the once-over and do it twice, ya know?"

Reflecto: "Um...I think you got the wrong meaning, but, um, okay..."

Daniels: "Let's start our thing then..."

"I still remember the last time I saw him...saw my father.

He left town when I was younger. Didn't say goodbye to my mom, or to me- just disappeared. My mom took her life when she found out. All I was left was a few small things: Some money, these knives...and my disease.

Well, now, it's time for me to get him back for what he got me...now that I have nothing to lose, he'll get his..."

InterKnight: "What was that all about?"

Reflecto: "I dunno...just a dream?"

InterKnight: "Well, let's get back to my own stuff...this next one was created by...ah, yes...Nia Vardalos as a vehicle for her team!"

"HEY KIDS! IS TIME FOR THE GREATEST HAPPY NEW SHOW ON TV:

IS TIME FOR ADVENTURES OF MEN FROM GREECE!" Scenes occurred of anime-styled forms of both of the Men From Greece dancing around.

"It is the happiest style of this, showing adventures of everyone's favorite wOw workers...and the top team in the independent wrestlers...and...and Greeks!"

All: "YOU KNOW...MEN FROM GREECE?"

"Taking place in 100% Greecamation, we follow the Men From Greece as they go through drastic adventures..." Scenes are shown of the Men From Greece clutching the side of a cliff...

"...fighting terrible monsters..."A scene occurs of Frankenstein attacking the two, only to be given a Big Fat Greek Suplex...

"...and still making it back in time for the big wrestling matches!" A scene of the Men From Greece fighting an animated Men From Rome is shown.

"Yes, ADVENTURES OF MEN FROM GREECE is the perfect show for everyone who loves action...and comedy...and Greeks..."

"YOU KNOW...MEN FROM GREECE?"

Reflecto: "Have I told you lately that your ideas are just as weird as mine?"

InterKnight: "Yes. Yes you have."

Reflecto: "Okay. Just checking. Now, let's go to my next idea! Apparently, this was created by...it appears Lollipop, who asked this message come through...'If this will screw that bitch Richter over even just a bit, then it will all be worth it...' okay, Meow...let's go for it."

A scene was shown of some futuristic stuff. Just then, a voiceover started...

"In the 30th century, crime has taken a much more evil turn. As superpowers raised, so did the skills of criminals. When you need someone to defeat supervillains. You need...

THIS GUY." A picture of Roderick Strong showed up.

"Yes- Roderick Strong: Master of Time Travel. The only person bad enough to defeat the biggest villains of the future. He and his close personal friends always manage to destroy people:

Alex Shelley- the Psychic Smark-Fave,

Jimmy Jacobs- The master of the Sixth Sense,

Rave Master- Looks to be someone important, not sure why yet,

Chris Hero- the Ultimate force for America, even when it doesn't yet exist,

and Powertrip- Token Eye Candy!"

"Roderick Strong and his Time Travelling Ass-Whoopers: Coming Soon to a Theater near you!"

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

<<Commercial:

"Space. The final frontier. In the future, the world sends its warriors for all the money it can get towards each conflict.

However, they cannot get there alone, necessitating hired delivery men to get to these conflicts safely and securely.

This is those delivery men's stories." A scene occurred of vicious space battles and some people shouting. "FOR HONOR! FOR FREEDOM! FOR MINIMUM WAGE AND TIPS!"

Coming Soon...?>>

"Now, let's go back to our celebrities and see how they're doing!"

Stokerino: "Yeah, this is totally derivative! The story, the characters- does Reflecto even have a creative bone in his body?"

maddog: "Don't even start on the matches- I've seen better match writeups from mop and Batsman!"

RavenBlack: "This dude just needs to seek some help, and seek it now!"

InterKnight: "Now, since we've got our show almost ended, we've got some special appearances! In conjunction with NWA: Total Nonstop Action enterprises, we proudly give you two live appearances for wOw Memorial hits! "

Reflecto: "First off, the White Team is proud to bring to you, NWATNA hot band US-2, singing their hit, "Opening Theme to whacked Out wrestling Memorial!" The members of Team America2 came out as Tom Goddard was lowered enough to join them (while still tied up...)

Goddard: "Can I be...you know, untied for this?"

Reflecto: "Um, no..."

Goddard: Dammit!" A beat started as the four began to apparently lipsynch...

<<(translated from original language into...well, we don't know what...)

Original:

I, that means that the thoughts,

in the winch of him the end to neglect the mines,

covering centers them. To the hour due to the

reading that is of the future separates,

in the order in the same time

the end to destroy due to the reading is of thu of the rocket,

my execution, that is the sketch,

to the simultaneous joints to come our

wealth, that nevertheless has desires e,

since then that the warning

our hour of the I must to the continuous will here,

that fighting

obvious,

I, that he is possible for the I, that it falls to him until

the day of the situation of the birth of B during coming,

the love that comes to the external part,

if the this hour happens cancer

inside and comes,

comes and arrives only the end to fight it is

difficult conservations

and my development of the destiny to the

interior of my thing for you

to the interior of the centers of the

thing of the relative diligente

he they electrical mine to fill that

my dream of the production is until a red-dark form

and this one is

and in the consideration of an opposition to the meant excess of the

diverse day the fines, that are B with...

It could give to the east

everything to after day of the pacìfica,

when to fight and he gives

and to the systems and all he very, of which it probably separates,

these it delays to us...

Then exactly place goes fixed being

nevertheless, at the same time to occur more returned,

of that almost,

with the truth indicates and we, to that also it promises to the

promise, of which what comes,

or illusion which thinks, fight of such

way how much the ceremony method mine which you he create,

that is to

say, during the period of the order,

he takes the will that grippa

possible is and is possible and he arrests for him,

the end to fight

the danger, come, of you in the place,

which wine the contact in the

necessity the excess has taste of this fixed reason!

And it marries of

the life... It is possible and for freschezza,

the form and to the

excess and with our duration of the destiny method of the Hunnen of

one the thing begins it to be frequent

<<The future comes by like a rocket

but keeps us here

Waiting for our time to shine

I wish you luck as I head off

Trying to ignore my heart's pounding as I try to remember...

But I must FIGHT ON! Until the day will come

That I am delivered back to you

Until the day that you and me can fall in love

Until then I FIGHT ON! Fly towards my destiny

And hold tight onto my heart

Until the day I can give it to you

My outfit reddens itself as I think back

to the ghosts of you and me

I dream about you and almost feel like

I cannot make our promises come true

But then my consciousness comes back and shows me

Everything will be all right,

That we may be together again after all...

As I FIGHT ON! And the day will come

When I need fight on no more...

Until the day I can come back

and put myself at peace

So we can FIGHT ON! And live normal lives

As destined to evermore,

Until our lives can start over anew...>>

InterKnight: "Okay...well, I'll have you beat for this one. I give you the Red Team's performance- NWATNA Idol Jocelyn Richter performing HER hit, "Ending Theme from whacked Out wrestling Memorial!"

Reflecto: "Oh, great...you do the Ending theme right after I do the opener?"

InterKnight: "Um, yeah..." Richter came out and began to sing...

<<

Remembered of the time, when we have the uniforms in our direction for

extase of or?

Remembered of, how much you we said that we did the

examinación of the care and refranes like you, we who you are you we

you would have?

Remembered of, how much strong I that you screaied and

the external part cleaned above whereas distant you separated my

ruptures?

It remembered, ignited because their fiancèe to is would

have and with you for the rest of our years to remain?

Remembered of

our promises and periods, when we would examine the accomplishment of

our dreams?

Remembered of, when not they bégayerions, when we were

really the transmitted sky to declare?

Remembered of the moment, when

we to exceed in the wings of a dove?

Remembered of our love?

Memory I

to the last days that that one you examine, because you he era stopped

for his dream and our truth, in the order around stops of which I it

memory, I to Juste to request, of which what could do and waiting for

that you you observed, how much you I said to the desire of the

repeated service you to me, when the sensitivity of the mine to begin

to stop, to be approached on the suitable expert, because time I

became fullfilled what he must not have been, friends sufficiently...

Remembered of our promises and periods, when we would examine the

accomplishment of our dreams?

Remembered of, when not they

bégayerions, when we were really the transmitted sky to declare?

Remembered of the moment, when we to exceed in the wings of a dove?

Remembered of our love?

Memory I, because the sensitivity of the mine

began to stop above, of being expert comes close like the moment, when

I became fullfilled what if he must not have been, the friends of the

sufficient one straight...

Remembered of our promises and periods,

when we would examine the accomplishment of our dreams?

Remembered of,

when not they bégayerions, when we were really the transmitted sky to

declare?

Remembered of the moment, when we to exceed in the wings of a

dove?

Remembered of our love?

(translated)

Do you remember the time we shared

on our way towards ecstasy?

Do you remember how much we said we cared

and when you said we were meant to be?

Do you remember how hard I cried

and how you wiped away my tears?

Do you remember when I was to be your bride

and stay with you for the rest of our years?

Do you remember our promises

and the times when we would wait for our dreams' fulfillment?

Do you remember when we wouldn't stutter

when we claimed each other was truly heaven sent?

Do you remember the time when we soared on the wings of a dove?

Do you remember our love?

I remember the days spent waiting for you

as you walked towards your dream and our reality

I remember wondering just what I could do

and hoping that you'd notice how much you mean to me

I remember when my feelings started getting to be rough

Just like the time I realized just being friends wasn't enough...

Do you remember our promises

and the times when we would wait for our dreams' fulfillment?

Do you remember when we wouldn't stutter

when we claimed each other was truly heaven sent?

Do you remember the time when we soared on the wings of a dove?

Do you remember our love?

I remember when my feelings started getting to be rough

Just like the time I realized just being friends wasn't enough...

Do you remember our promises

and the times when we would wait for our dreams' fulfillment?

Do you remember when we wouldn't stutter

when we claimed each other was truly heaven sent?

Do you remember the time when we soared on the wings of a dove?

Do you remember our love?

>>

Reflecto: "Yee gads, that stunk..."

Richter: "Um, excuse me! I didn't write it...tell the person who produced it that stuff!"

Reflecto: "Yeah, yeah... now, tally up the votes for each..."

The voting machine was tallied up as the end occurred...

"And the winner of our contest is...White Team's Mr.Productive Anal Virginity!"

Goddard: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Mr.PAV grabbed him and ran off as an audible "NO~!" was heard in the background.

Reflecto: "Well, that's this year's New Year's Special. I'm Reflecto. If you enjoyed these, may I please request that you vote for the skits you most enjoyed- they just might become my next major project! Until next time, BUY MY ANTIFREEZE! SUCKERS!"

Edited January 30, 2005 by Reflecto

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Dead Reflecto Day, Part 1

From www.wrestlingtalk.com

From: SD!Fan

Topic: CAWs

Just trying to update my SD! HCTP game, and was wondering if anyone's managed to get out a Shane Goddard CAW. Any help?

____________________________________________________________________

RE: CAWs

From: wOwMark

You're in luck, SD!Fan. I was just doing some CAWs for some of my fave wOw guys and gals, and I managed to do both Goddard and Bradley Richter. I'll have to wait on some, but here are just three of the ones I did to begin... (Pretty dead, but I'll give a special bonus here: 6 wOw Memorial Edition CAWs for the fans.... Note: All are for Smackdown: Here Comes the Pain because SD! v. Raw is the suckiest bunch of suck that ever sucked.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shane Goddard (when using, get brand to WWE RAW)

Face: 22, 3.

Figure: x: 21

y: -26

Shape: X:42

y:-23

Age: -50

Skin: 6

Hair: 26

Color: x: 96

y: 9

Shade: 54

Brows: 7

Eyes: 20

Clothing: Upper:

Lower layer:

Long hemline: 15, 339

Transparency: 4

Upper Layer:

Long hemline: 10, 30, 6

Clothing: Lower:

Pants: 1, 61, 2

Color: x: 100

y: 16

Shoes: 7, 164, 2

Accessories: Upper body: 8

------------------------------------

Profile:

Name: Shane Goddard

Nickname: Showtime

Ring Name: None

Bio: Male, Heavyweight, Default (tweener).

Attributes to start:

Strength: 5.5

Submission: 3.5

Endurance: 5.5

Technique: 4

Speed: 2.5

Logic: Balanced/Brawler, Clever, Less Often, Done if necessary, Dislike, Less often, Often

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Men From Greece (both members):

Face: 6, 4

Shape: -47

Skin: 3

Hair: 27

Brow: 22

Eyes: 22

Beard: 67

Clothing: Upper: 

Long- 2, 57

Lower:

Skirt- 20, 113, 5

Color: x: 26

y: -24

Shade: -35

Socks: 1, 1, 5

Shoes: 12, 44, 6

Flag: 15, on back/Body

Body morph: Max out everything

Name: Nico/Stavros (depending on which you prefer to use for it)

Ring name: None

Nickname: ManFromGreece

Bio: Male, Super Heavyweight, Uber-face

Opening Attributes:

Strength- 6.5

Submission- 1

Endurance- 6.5

Technique- 1

Speed- 3.5

Logic: Brawl/Brawl, Aggressive, Less Often, Not usually, Dislike, Less, Less

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kari-Chan

Face- 8, 14

Shape: x: 100

y: 100

Eye: Right analog:

X -63

y -24

Skin: 2

Hair: 13

Color: 100, 3

Shade: 44

Length: 100

Brow: 11

Eyes: 5

Lips: 6

Upper clothing:

Short hemline: 1, 273, 5

Gloves: 2, 2

Lower:

Miniskirt: 2, 25

Socks: 6, 1, 5

Length: x: 39

Shoes: 32, 5, 1

Head Accessories: 16

Name: Kari-Chan

Ring name: None

Nickname: Kari-Chan

Bio: Female, Light Heavyweight, 3/4 Face

Stats:

Strength- 2

Submission- 2

Endurance- 5.5

Technique- 5

Speed- 6

Striker/Striker, Aggressive, Often, Not usually, Likes Very much, Often, Often.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More to come tomorrow, as part of a special extra given to the fans of wOw Memorial! (Plus, tomorrow we give the "big ticket" ones...)

Edited January 4, 2005 by Reflecto

[stokeriño]

CAWs eh? Now if only I hadn't 1) failed to buy RAWvSD on principle of it being expensive and awful, and 2) lost my copy of HCTP around the village of Winslow, Buckinghamshire somewhere...

Not to make your efforts seem useless, not at all.

[RavenBlack]

Holy...

*falls out of chair*

Reflecto? Banned? Why?

EDIT: Now I know...and I'm sorry I asked. Ugh. What a way to go.

Edited January 5, 2005 by RavenBlack

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

(Special Reflecto Re-Write Note: By now, I know people have been getting the news of my banning. From this post, it is obvious that this has been rescinded. The reason that I was originally banned was due to a problem with my Internet hookup. As I have frequently mentioned, I have college-related dual-residences in Rhode Island and Vermont. When I'm home for winter and summer breaks, however, I have no Internet connection, leading me to be forced to use public computers for Internet access. During one of these, some person had apparently gotten into my account and posted the post which led to my banning (previously, I did not log out of EWB for convenience and the theory no one else would know of EWB in my town.) I have explained the situation, and now I plan to go back to doing what I do best: whacked Out wrestling Memorial. Due to this accident, it is safe to say that Volume Two ended at the last "major" post, and Volume Three of the series will start next week for wOw Memorial. Until next time, this is the REAL Reflecto, hoping my readers will see past the mistake that was made under my name.

P.S. Expect this post to be edited tomorrow with the second wave of CAWs (if I can find the paper with them. )

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

I walked into the TNA offices that night a man possessed. I knew what I wanted, and I wanted it now. I searched through the dressing room for Jocelyn. My opponent that night tried to head over to me, forcing me to come up to something...

Chris Sabin: "Hey, Tom- I was wondering, what are your plans for tonight's match? I really think you and I can put on a great show out there, so I really want to make sure we both look like a million bucks, you see..."

"Move aside and let the man go through, biyotch! Daddy gots to get me some of that sha-weet..." I headed off and continued my search. Eventually, the only place I hadn't seen was the women's locker room. I hesitated at first, but then realized modesty only worked for people not as pimping as I was. I entered and made a beeline for my Venus of the squared circle...

Jocelyn: "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! What are you doing, Tom?"

"Come on, baby...you know you can't fight this feeling between us anymore...we're young, we're in the prime of our lives, and we know we're right for each other. You touch me in ways I have never been touched before, and when I think of all this...the time has come for me to ask you...Say hello to my Little Friend!" I unzipped my pants, and heard her shudder...

Jocelyn: "But, but Tom...You've always been there to comfort me- to lick my wounds..." Suddenly, I saw her smile... "Now, it's time for you to *literally* lick my wound..."

MEANWHILE...

InterKnight: "So what I was saying, Flec, is that you really need to give some help to the readers. I mean, come on. You've been giving them short slices for most of the last couple months, your productivity's plummetted, and this time...your 3.5 disk ate what we had built up as your breakout show- the AWAMLW finals...and that doesn't even go into the temporary banning thing! I don't doubt the fans are getting restless- what can we do to bring them back?"

Reflecto: "I dunno, IK...how about I write a dream sequence or alternate dimension or something where Goddard bags Jocelyn- you know, really get those fans talking about it?"

InterKnight: "All right- just as long as you don't have Bobby Ewing in the shower afterwards..."

Reflecto: "Well, scratch THAT idea...but, but I can give them dialogue that makes it sound like a two-bit blaxploitation or porno flick, right?"

InterKnight: "You're not serious, are you?"

Reflecto: "Of course not...maybe..." Just then, I headed towardsthe room where those bastards Reflecto and InterKnight were laughing this latest torment they forced me to endure up...

"WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA! You jerks think you can play with a young man's emotions in full bloom like that? BAKA!!!! REFLECTO NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!!" I proceeded to make a move for the leader, only for Reflecto to attack me with a mallet. Just then, Scuzzlebutt came out of the bathroom and weaved a giant basket, allowing me to escape.

"SO LONG, SUCKERS!" I hovered back towards the TNA show as I heard a voice from Scuzzlebutt's leg...

Patrick Duffy: "Um- excuse me, I was showering...could you let me go back in?"

____________________________________________________________________

NWA: Total Nonstop Action

As the show started, the two teams vying for the America's X-Cup were in their respective dressing rooms. Jerry Lynn was in front of the team as Chris Sabin and The Amazing Red were listening patiently...

Lynn: "All right. Now, we worked hard to get to where we are tonight and have an opportunity to defend the America's X-Cup. Now, we need to show people that this was no fluke. I know we can do this: We have four of TNA's best X-Division wrestlers in our locker room. All four of us have held the X-Division Title at some point in our careers. None of those pretenders in America2 have either of those things to their credit. We can win this. What we need is teamwork. I know you all are awesome. We need to be able to work this to the best of our ability. We need to be on the same page..." Lynn then turned to Jason Cross... "...and we DO NOT need anyone thinking they're bigger than the rest of the team..." Cross turned to Lynn...

Cross: "Oh, come on, Jerry- cram this speech up your ass. You know as well as I do, and as well as everyone out there does, that if Sabin over there still held the X Title, you'd be hyping them up as 'Follow the champ's example!' You know as well as I do that if Red won the Super-X Tournament and brought the Cup back to TNA, you'd be hyping us up with 'If Red can do it, then the rest of us can follow his lead!' But no- little second-rater Jason Cross does both of those things, and you don't give me the credit I deserve!"

Lynn: "Come on now: We're going out there to defend the cup. If you have a problem with this stuff, take it up after the matches..."

Cross: "Why? What's the point- we win this, I'll just be forgotten about until you demand title shots between teammates. We lose this, you'll all just have a target on my ass by the end of the night tonight..."Cross glared at the other three as the scene shot over to Team America2's locker room...

Lowenstein: "All right, men- tonight, you have a chance to do something that is necessary. Tonight, you get a chance to take the America's X-Cup for the northerners in that very ring..." The crowd booed as Lowenstein continued. "Tonight, we will finally see how well you have managed to gel together, and have a chance for one of the bigger upsets in X-Cup history. Now, your captain has a few words..." Tom Goddard then proceeded to stand up in front of the four decked out in ring attire so shiny it nearly blinded the other members...

Goddard: "I see you all shiver with anticipation of tonight's grand battle, so I will keep this short...and sweet.Gentlemen, tonight, we will enter history together. Either we will become the team that rose, like the grand phalanxes of old, entwining our bodies together..." Goddard licked his lips as he continued..."and working for the endless prize- that of becoming America's X-Cup Champions. Tonight, these four...ruffians should prove to be no problem for anyone who truly follows the path of blood and glitter. In order to show the greatness of your quest, I have gotten my personal tailor to make some... presents for each of you..." Just then, four bodybuilders came in brandishing shinier versions of the outfits Team America2 tended to wear in the ring (almost similar to Goddard's).

Goddard: "These outfits- they will be necessary to show our unity, our dedication to the beautiful mixture Now, let us go out there and defeat Team TNA!" Goddard blew glitter into the faces of each of his teammates as the scene cut to Mike Tenay and Don West...

Mike Tenay: "Welcome to Total Nonstop Action! Tonight we have a huge event, as in addition to an America's X-Cup matchup, two titles will be on the line tonight!"

Don West: "I Haven't been this excited faw a match since Mawk McGwiaw and Sammy Sosaw were goin' at it, Tenay!"

Mike Tenay: "It's almost time for the America's X-Cup matches, so let's go down the rules. The teams will fight each other in 3 matches for the Cup, two singles matches and one tag. However, if a team sweeps the other, the final match WILL take place regardless. No worker can wrestle in multiple matches for the same team, and in the event of a tie going into the third matchup, the final match becomes a no-disqualification match. Having said that, let's start the show!" Just then, Jason Cross headed to the ring to some surprisingly good heat and took a mic...

Cross: "Thank you, thank you, It's nice to see the crowd's support for Team TNA!" The crowd booed a bit from this. "Do not worry, folks, seeing as those assholes on this team are JEALOUS of their TRUE Anchorman, I am right here to make sure that Team TNA gets an advantage going into the series. Team America2 will falter, much like every other team did when I was in charge of the Super-X Tournament, and just like I did winning this X-Title!" Just then, Jayce Simmons headed to the ring and took a mic...

Simmons: "Thank you, thank you, Mr. Jayce has got a request from all the ladies in the crowd...you see, Jason, I see your problem. You ARE mistreated by Team TNA. You deserve much better than you get..." The crowd booed as well at this one. "In fact, I feel that since you're such a great worker, it would be best if all the ladies get to see you and me in a match not just for the series, but also for your X-Division Title. Surely, you agree that a great champion like you would fight any challenger, right?" Cross looked, then nodded as the challenge was met.

Jason Cross (Team TNA) v. Jayce Simmons (Team America2)

Well, once again we get to see something that is just plain good for the world, that being a Jason Cross matchup. I don't care what people say- he's a one-move wonder, he's rudimentary: I mark out for Jason Cross, and this is a good example why. Jayce Simmons also meshed well with Cross to add to the fun, as these two put on an amazing show for the crowd. Cross, however, took a quick advantage on Simmons and just kept it. Simmons's nice moves did put him back into it, and Simmons went for a Missile Dropkick. However, just as Simmons went through, Jason Cross was able to get the X-Title and clock Simmons with it, then hit a Crossfire on him to get the big victory. Excellent stuff- at least the right guy went over...

(51, 89, 70)

Before the next match, Tom Goddard took the mic...

Goddard: "Thank you! Thank you for your support! Rest assured, all my beautiful fans, that while the America's X-Cup has to spend time Hailing Sabin..." The crowd cheered at Sabin's mention... "...after tonight, you will be free of that. For lo, I am ELECTRIC JESUS, and tonight, I will bring my team the title!"

Chris Sabin (Team TNA) v. Tom Goddard (Team America2)

Well, at least we're bound to get something excellent from this matchup. Between Chris Sabin and Tom Goddard, you get two of the best indy workers in the country going into the ring together. The end result, however, wasn't as good as I hoped. The two were excellent, no doubt, as Sabin continues to prove why he is so well-liked in TNA while Goddard proves more and more that he's not as much of a fluke as he seemed to be in the ring. Goddard managed to take the advantage from an early portion of the match, seemingly overtaking Sabin very quickly for the matchup. Quick Glitter Mist by Goddard only managed to get two as Sabin tried to fight back. However, the glitter did its duty and caused Sabin to lose a little bit of a step in the ring, missing a few kicks and punches. Robert Lowenstein saw this, throwing a rowing oar into Goddard and then distracting the referee, allowing Goddard to attack Sabin with the oar. When the ref came back, Goddard had an easy victory.

(50, 88, 69)

Lynn and Red [Team TNA] v. Danny Hillstead and Jay Matthews [Team America2]

Oh, JOY...a Danny Hillstead match...no offense, but I cannot see what the joy of Danny Hillstead's work is. He's not good in the ring, rudimentary in skill, and just a poor worker all around. Even with Jay Matthews working with him and Lynn and Red facing him, the two were totally owned by the end result of Hillstead's lameness. As a result, the three's match was horrific. The match was so bad that I enjoyed the end result of overbooking, as Jeff Jarrett headed in and clocked Jerry Lynn with a guitar. This allowed Matthews to get a Hype Factor on The Amazing Red. Matthews got a three, and just then Robert Lowenstein, Tom Goddard and Jayce Simmons rushed the ring with an audible "We won the Cup!" chant. Lowenstein took the America's X-Cup while the four raised each other's hands in triumph, only for Goddard to kiss each man's hand in celebration.

Goddard: "Thank you, thank you! You're a wonderful crowd- I love sharing this victory with all of you! I reiterate, I wish I was the planet Jupiter, so I could make love to you all! Tonight, the X-Division has been freed from the shackles of...idiotic rednecks, and put in the hands of more deserving people! The high-class millionaires of Newport, the working men, and of course, the truly glamorous types: TNA, rejoice! The America's X-Cup is in the hands of YOUR BETTERS! Now, let us celebrate- drag queens and mescaline for all of us, boys!" The four celebrated once more as TNA went to a break...

(59, 79, 69)

After the match, John Walters and David Young were backstage as Goldylocks was talking on the phone...

Goldylocks: "So...you want to do that...? Wait...where did you get my number...? Oh, okay- that's one I put it in- sure, I'm okay with it- how about later tonight? Great...bring some friends..." Goldylocks hung up the phone... "Oh, sorry- just had to take a phone call. Tonight, however, this will be a big...big...BIG...night for all of us. Between that, and tonight's big matchup, NWATNA will mark this night in history as the night when the X-Tag Team Title was the first belt won by TNA's true Unstoppable Force, John Walters..."

Walters: "..."

Young: "*ahem*"

Goldylocks: "yeah, yeah...andDavidYoung...anyway, nothing can make this night worse. Tonight, I will get my goal- something HUGE around your waists...just where I like it..."

Walters: "..."

Goldylocks: "Yes- tonight, I can hardly contain myself. Go out there and get me those title belts!"

Walters: "...Whatever." Walters left the room as David Young hesitated, then followed him out as Goldylocks grabbed her phone again... "...Yeah, so, how many people did you round up, big man?"

(68)

(X-Tag) Four-Way Elimination: Hollywood Inc., The Peacemakers, Five Star Attraction, Walters and Young

Well, it's pretty obvious: The more people, the worse the match. In this instance, you have everything: The Peacemakers providing an actual good team, Hollywood Inc. having Lee Handsome miss more spots than an albino dalmatian, and Five Star Attraction and Walters and Young just doing their things. Naturally, The Peacemakers took an advantage, destroying Lee Handsome (who apparently didn't even know how to bump properly) in the ring. Naturally, this didn't work, as Handsome did not even know how to sell well. Frequent tags occurred between all four teams, eventually ending with Joey Idol and Kid Psycho in the ring together. Idol and Psycho proceeded to do some nice moves on each other, only finished with Idol getting a Kaostrify out of nowhere on Kid Psycho, getting a 3 to eliminate The Peacemakers. After that, Idol quickly jumped out of the ring and took a mic...

Idol: "Who cares about the rest- You all just saw how great I am! Why bother finishing the match!" Idol then proceeded to walk off, drawing a countout and forcing both Five Star Attraction and Walters and Young into the ring. The two teams tried to fight well, but their mutual inability to really mesh after so few matches caused problems. Walters soon took an advantage and proceeded to destroy Caprice Coleman in the ring. Walters proceeded to toy a bit with Coleman, until Coleman irish whipped Walters into his partner's arm as the referee called David Young in as the legal man. Coleman then got beaten, as Walters destroyed him more. Coleman got locked in the Sharpshooter by John Walters, only to have Ray Gordy pat Coleman on his head. Walters got Coleman to tap easily- but the referee ruled that Gordy and Young were the legal men, negating the submission as Goldylocks was furious! With the specialty in, Kriss Sprules handed Ray Gordy a chair, sending Young down and causing Five Star Attraction to get the victory!

Winners (NEW X-Tag Team Champs): Five Star Attraction

After the match, Kriss Sprules took a mic:

Sprules: "This is stupendous! It's magnificent! It's glorificent! Rejoice at the sight of the greatest X-Division Tag Team Champs ever, Five Star Attraction!"

On-screen: "They're the only champs"...just as Sprules was going to continue, however, Goldylocks grabbed the mic...

Goldylocks: "Hold up one second: It's important for everyone to know: Since David Young was the one who took this pin, it remains steadfast that John Walters is STILL undefeated and STILL the Unstoppable Force of NWATNA!" Walters got up and left the ring as Goldylocks headed over to him...

(35, 79, 57)

After the break, 3 Live Kru was WALKING~! through the backstage with Ron Killings and BG James carrying their Tag Team Titles. Meanwhile, they passed a loud room, where Team America2 was still carrying on. Robert Lowenstein headed to the door...

Lowenstein: "Sorry- this is a private party...only people with a title WORTHY of respect need apply..." Just then, Konnan took a mic...

Konnan: "Oh, you strawberries trying to say we ain't good? Listen here, yo- 3 Live Kru be rowdy rowdy and bout' it, bout' it! Tonight, my boys Truth and B-Gizzle here will keep their Tag Team Titles, I'm gonna get me the NWA World Title, and THEN you gon' see a REAL party!" The 3 Live Kru members left as Lollipop tried to get in...only to give a "SLAP!" to Lowenstein before following the other three members...

(Meanwhile, in the back as they were going through, The Peacemakers were hanging out offscreen...)

Hero: "So, anyways, I'm getting a little surprised with how this is playing out right now. I mean, come on- I came to TNA full-time because I heard I'd get a push, but it seems like they're more interested in the tag team than me."

Rave Master: "You said it- sometimes, I'm surprised they gave me the promotion from Wildside..."

Barbaric Berzerker: "Eh, what can I say. Sometimes, talent says something..." Just then, The Barbaric Berzerker saw Teddy Hart walk by for a matchup... "Ooh...Teddy always puts on good stuff..."

Rave Master: "Yeah- that Hart Foundation 2k3 always brings some good matches."

The Barbaric Berzerker: "Huh? It's a tag match...but where's Jack, then?"

Kid Psycho: (Darn it...should I have told them about the matchup...) Just then, Kid Psycho saw the back view of Lollipop heading out to the matchup... (Whoa...she's hot...)

As the match began, 3 Live Kru headed to the ring and passed their titles to the referee as Lollipop tried to come back behind them (with what seemed to be an audible voice of Chris Hero shouting "WE'VE GOT A BLEEDER!") Hart Foundation 2K3 attacked, and we had a match.

3 Live Kru v. Hart Foundation 2K3

Doth my eyes deceive me? Did BG James have a great matchup? Sure, it may be the result of Ron Killings, Teddy Hart, and Jack Evans all in the same ring with him, but who cares- it's a good match for BG James. This was helped by Ron Killings going into the Ricky Morton role for most of the match, leaving good work for most of the match tempered by the occasional "SLAP!" by BG James. Hart Foundation 2k3 took the advantage, as Teddy Hart and Jack Evans took a decent matchup for it. However, of course in situations like this, Killings got the HOT TAG~! to BG James, who began attacking with a series of "Charlie Murphy" Shake, Rattle, and Rolls. Just as BG James went for the huge "SLAP!", however, Kevin Hayes ran into the ring to try to help him. However, an attempted plancha to the inside of the ring was caught by Jack Evans, who Airplane Spun Hayes into James before he could hit the Slap, causing the ref to ring the bell for the DQ. After the match, James took a mic as Killings laid into Kevin Hayes...

James: "Ow...you were cold as ice, Kevin Hayes..."

(62, 95, 78)

Meanwhile, backstage Kevin Northcutt was attacking what appearred to be the prone body of Kid Psycho. Just then, Chris Hero jumped into the scene.

Hero: "Attacking a superhero who was unguarded is the act of a coward! For your heinous crime, I will make you pay, evildoer!" The two started an impromptu backstage brawl as this occurred...

Chris Hero v. Kevin Northcutt

Well, it's time for the necessary backstage match game: Spot the character breaches! Since TNA's such a low-rent place, there's always bound to be some good ones. In this one, I spotted such good ones as Jocelyn Richter apparently attacking one of the TNA writers with a giant paper fan and The Barbaric Berzerker foregoing helping Hero out in favor of calling over to Lollipop to do mouth-to-mouth with Kid Psycho [leading to a decidedly un-beaten down "Sugoi!" being heard.] The brawling seemed to be fairly decent as well, with Chris Hero and Kevin Northcutt actually managing to be somewhat decent in their mayhem. However, the match was pretty obvious from the beginning, as Hero's the new guy and Northcutt isn't. Hence, a Hero's Welcome put Northcutt away quickly- not a bad thing, as this proved why Chris Hero would be a good person to push further in TNA...

(44, 77, 60)

After the break, Kevin Hayes was backstage with 3 Live Kru...

Hayes: "Hey, why did you attack me like that out there?"

Killings: "A better question would be, why were you out there in the first place?"

Hayes: "Well, it's...it's...I want to join up with you guys!"

Killings: "You...you're trying to run with the Kru? Are you crazy?" Just then, BG James headed over...

James: "Come on now, Ron- let's see this guy. So, you want to be part of the 3 Live Kru, do you? Well, we need you to show you got what it takes. How about we put you on as our personal assistant, sort of a Kru member in training?"

Hayes: "Okay!"

James: "Excellent. Now, let's solidify this in the best way I know how to..." James then pulled out a bag of marijuana... "Ah, here we go- the stickiest of the icky. Come on now- smoke up with the old boy BG James, what do you say?"

Hayes: "Sure thing, Mr..." As Hayes stumbled around the words, James slapped him lightly across the face..."

James: "You don't know me? Come on, it's not too hard- I'M BG JAMES, BITCH!"

(60)

Jeff Jarrett v. Konnan

Well, this is another pleasant surprise- a Konnan/Jarrett match that was actually a MOTY candidate. Tonight seemed to be blessed with luck for each show on it, as plenty of matches that shouldn't have been decent were actually awesome. The two managed a decent show, making it seem realistic that Konnan could have won the belt (even if Triple J will hold the belt for all eternity...) The only thing I didn't like, however, was the ending, as instead of a clean finish, Jerry Lynn ran in and attacked Jeff Jarrett, causing the DQ victory for Konnan! After the match, Lynn congratulated Konnan and took the mic...

Lynn: "Keep this as a warning, Jarrett- since you cost my team the America's X-Cup, I'm going to settle for taking your NWA World Title!"

(81, 91, 86)

Over: 71

After the match, I was a little dazed. Somehow, it felt like I was dreaming for most of the day, so I had to look around. I felt it was best to check around for Bob Ryder to see if I could get any more tips for my character, but he was nowhere to be found.Finally, I found Jeff Jarrett, and decided he would know where he was...

"Excuse me, Mr. Jarrett..."

Jarrett: "Please, that's my father-call me Jeff..."

"Okay, Jeff...I was wondering, Bob was supposed to be helping me on my character development- any idea where he went?"

Jarrett: "Um...uh...I don't think he was here tonight. That's the ticket..."

"Isn't he a road agent, and as such there all the time?"

Jarrett: "Um...he was on vacation! Yep- far away, that's the ticket..."

"I see. Well, tell him I was looking for him...see you Thursday."

Jarrett: "Thanks. Good work out there tonight, by the way."

"You two, boss..." I decided to look around. Eventually, I found Alex and proceeded to get ready for the ride up to Minneapolis that was needed.

"So- to Minneapolis, then?"

Alex: "*sigh* Yeah..."

"I see you're pretty happy- is this because of your sister saying she'd show up at the Underground tapings tomorrow?"

Alex: "*sigh* I guess..."

"Okay. Let's get our show on the road!" I proceeded to drive through, only to see Bob Ryder going into his car.

"Hold up a second- I need to talk to him..." I headed out of the car and talked to Bob...

Bob: "Can't talk, boy...got boy...need boy..."

"I was just wondering- was my characterization good?"

Bob: "You no boy. Got boy. Need give push to boy. I give push, he get push, everyone happy..."

"I see..." Just then, I saw the other person on the apparent receiving end of this, and got a fairly big shock...

"Um...oh...What? Tom? What are you doing here...?"

"I could ask you the same question, Greg..."

[RavenBlack]

And a great big welcome back.

Electric Jesus? I'm not going to ask where in hell you came up with that, in fear of what the answer might be.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

After finding this stuff out, I was shocked. I had no clue that Greg was interested in playing for the other team, and even if he was...come on, it was Bob freaking Ryder, possibly one of the least desirable men alive. I headed back to the car, only to see Alex in somewhat of a daze still.

"Um, dude- could you drive tonight? I'm totally not in the right state of mind..."

Alex: "Probably better than mine, let me check...OH, sweet Yevon, that's bad...with BOB RYDER? BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Sure, man, I'll drive tonight. It'll help- I needed to get there quicker, and, well, you don't drive well...my little sister's going to come visit, so we'll need to get there in time for me to see her as much as possible..."

"I see..."

Alex: "Excellent. Oh, and Tom...?"

"Yep?"

Alex: "I know that anyone in wOw Memorial's supposed to be 'winnable', but if you try ANYTHING with my little sister, I'll send a mental message to Jocelyn telling her you love her..."

"Well, that would be fine if I did...just remember- they give me a LOT of promo time in TNA and AWA, it wouldn't be hard to just happen to let it slip that you're a psychic..."

Alex: "Well, if you did that, I'd just mentally tell all the girls to drop bombs on you..."

"If you did that, I'd wait until the next time we're in Nashville and switch bodies with you, dance around naked, and beg the TNA divas to look!" Alex blushed as he continued...

"Do that, and I'll mentally sic Bob Ryder on you..." I looked at Alex...

"Um, dude, that's seriously fucked up..."

"Oh yeah- sorry." We continued driving as I popped the DVD of Sin into my car's new player (hey, a top wrestler pulling down 85,000 a month combined needs a properly pimped ride- especially with how often I'm in it...)

wOw Flagship:

Vic Grimes v. Bobby Rude

Well, this was a surprising matchup- I mean, Vic Grimes actually having a match that's halfway decent's nothing short of a miracle. Bobby Rude was treated as more of a jobber during this match- naturally, since he was basically making a debut in wOw for this stuff. I could see good things in the future, but he really needs some more time in ACW before really striking out in wOw proper. However, since he's up against Vic Grimes, we all know what's bound to happen: Grimes attacks like a total monster and dominates. Only thing different was the ending- a person in the front row was eating a banana and accidentally threw the peel into the ring where Grimes slipped on it, giving Bobby Rude the victory. Well, that was...surprising...

(35, 71, 47)

After the break, Vic Grimes was beating on things backstage when Adam Windsor came up to him...

Windsor: "Hey, what's the problem,man?"

Grimes: "I can't take it! Every time I wrestle here, I get close to winning, but something happens to screw me over. I'm a freaking former WWE development talent, I'm an American deathmatch star- I don't deserve this!"

Windsor: "Come on- you just need someone to have your back. Look at me- I have just as bad luck in the ring as you ever have had, and I'm looking at it different. I know that one of these days, all of this stuff is going to come back my way- these things even out. Come with me, and I think we can help make these things even out together- know what I'm saying?"

Grimes: "Yeah- I guess. Eh, what the hell- let's go with it!" The two shook hands.

Windsor: "Excellent. Now, let's seal it with you coming and getting my back tonight, okay?"

Grimes: "Sure, sounds good..." The two left as the next match started...

(35)

Adam Windsor v. Butterbean

What happens when an irresistable force of losing meets up with an immovable object...of losing? Apparently, we're going to find out in this match, as two of wOw's biggest jobbers COLLIDE~! The two had a surprisingly good match, considering that they have different styles. This might have to do with some surprisingly good improvement by Butterbean (going from "abysmal" to "passable".) I heard it might be due to an Arsenic addiction by Butterbean, but hey- what are you going to do? Anyway, the match was pretty predictable- Butterbean dominates the opponent. A quick Avalanche was avoided by Adam Windsor, giving us a typical ref bump, where Vic Grimes proceeded to throw a steel chair to Windsor. Windsor then threw the steel chair into Butterbean's navel area- until Butterbean then proceeded to fall forward on top of Windsor. The ref came to, giving Butterbean the shocking victory! Afterwards, Butterbean tried to get off of Windsor as the show went to break...

(30, 77, 47)

Meanwhile, backstage Jamie Kogyaru was backstage pouring a saucer of milk...

Kogyaru: "Aww...there you go, kitty- good kitty..." Kogyaru proceeded to pass it to a small white kitten. "Now, like, you know that many people, like, don't give good treatment of pets, or some junk? That's why I'm, like, here to talk about adopting at your local animal shelter. That's, like, where I got my own personal pet kitten here, Lucy...Lucy here was abandoned by her owner, and, like, was gonna be killed, and that would have been SO totally grody and stuff! So that's, like, why it's necessary for anyone looking for a pet to first try their local animal shelter. You'll find a friend who is more likely to..." Just then, Sharon Goddard ran in and gave Kogyaru a huge LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!, finally peaking it by throwing Kogyaru on "top" of the kitten and hitting a huge splash on her! Kogyaru gave out a fairly nice wail of anguish as Goddard cackled with glee (though, the poor indy production didn't edit out the meows of the kitten behind Kogyaru...Gotta love the poor production...)

(55)

Steve Evans v. Harry Smith

And now, we're into the next factor of a poor feud heat-builder: When in doubt, have a feuder face one of the opposing worker's friends. This worked to help increase the poor heat for Smith and Evans's work, and failed more when you consider that the two's styles did not mesh well at all. The match wasn't bad (due to Evans being a miracle worker), but it was still only an okay matchup. Evans got the easy win with a quick Slight Remix on Smith, which was obvious (because in wOw, it's all local, all the time!)

(64, 78, 63)

After the break, Mr. Productive Anal Virginity was backstage as a pair of Klansmen (who my sources tell me are indy wrestlers Cade Sydal and Daron Smythe) were hassling him...

Klansman Cade: "Why, looky here! We got us one of them ho-mo-sex-you-alls!"

Klansman Daron: "What're we gonna do?"

Klansman Cade: "I say we do what the LORD would want us to, and that is force this ho-mo-sex-you-all down and force our GOD-fearing members into every Satan-inspired orifice on him so violently he'll never do that...EEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLL stuff again!" Just then, Mr. PAV spoke...

Mr.PAV: "Um...I'm not gay...I have a girlfriend..."

Klansman Daron: "Oh, sure? Who is it? Grace....whatever? Not like I'd watch that...sissy stuff..."

Mr.PAV: "Oh, no, she's right behind you..." Just then, "More than a Woman" hit as a large black mannish-looking woman came up in back of Mr. Productive Anal Virginity and attacked them!

Woman: "The name is Black Chyna, and from now on, I will be in back of Mr.PAV at all times!"

(66)

Chuck Palumbo v. Chris Kanyon

Okay, a quick memo to all the people who say whacked Out wrestling is the best thing since sliced bread, take heed: Take away the huge indy names that grew from here in the last year (Finale, Bishies, Shane Goddard), and you're left with a federation that requires Chuck Palumbo to be one of its "major" workers. Despite this, I will give him something- Palumbo does surprisingly fit well for this. This match (with the always worth a view Kanyon) is an example of how misused both of these people were in WWE: Each of the two put on a match at least good enough for a TV show today for the two. This got the crowd somewhat excited (well, as much as they already were just for being recognizable names.) Kanyon got an I'm Betta than You on Palumbo to get the victory, which seemed to be a surprise: Palumbo seems to be one of the people they're pushing as credible in the division. Eh- it's indy booking, what can I say?

(64, 72, 61)

[RavenBlack]

Black Chyna? That's seriously lame.

*suddenly has idea*

I got it! How about Afrika?

"If you did that, I'd wait until the next time we're in Nashville and switch bodies with you, dance around naked, and beg the TNA divas to look!"

[The InterKnight]

Actually, Rave, Black Chyna is an old character and running gagh from the boards where wOw originated, hence the name and character here. I doubt Reflecto would go for a name change due to his/her being such a longstanding character in wOwfed.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

When we finally got to Underground, I was shocked- Alex got glomped before I was in this instance, as a younger looking girl sped through and got to him much quicker than Kari could get to me.

Girl: "ONICHANNNNNNNNNNN! I missedyoumissedyoumissedyou..."

Alex: "Sound familiar, man? Anyway, this is my younger sister, Raven Black..."

Black: "A-HEM..."

Alex: "Oh, yeah yeah- she's my stepsister, not related by blood...there, you happy?" (Yes, Yes, I know, I've been watching WAY too many cute bishojo comedies with incestuous love-love plots [Da Capo > j00, Koi Kaze = j00...], but, but...they're so GOOD! *kicks and screams in cute anime-style way until The InterKnight passes me some sweets* Hey, what better reason to have assistants for?)

Black: "Yep, onichan!" I would have continued to ask why that mattered until I finally saw Kari rushing out to greet me. Kari headed through- until I saw Raven float her into the stratosphere.

Black: "No meany other girl's gonna get near MY Onichan!"

I heard a slowly-vanishing "WAI!" go through as Alex looked angry...

Alex: "Maybe I should have mentioned- she has just as many powers as I do..." Just then, I saw Raven look pissed off as she looked at Alex...

Black: "You...let...this...unpowered person...KNOW we have powers?"

Alex: "Come on- I had to...how else was I supposed to find work?"

Black: "And you say I'M the one who does the wrong thing?"

Alex: "Well, yeah- you do the ones that are obvious in public, people will talk..." Seeing the two start attacking, I did the only stand-up thing and tried to negotiate peace between the two. However, my initial attempts to do so were weakened when Black pulled out a giant paper fan. Seeing my spot, I ran off and let the two settle their dispute themselves. Luckily, the show started, so I went to watch what was going on during the show...

AWAMLW Underground

As the show started, a video started airing...

"And now, Great Moments in the life of Harry Potsmoker." Just then, Christopher Daniels was in a field and speaking.

Daniels: "Well, AWAMLW fans, it's time to pay credit where credit is due. After an illustrious...what is it? 2, 3 perhaps?-year career, Harry Potsmoker is the number one contender in line for the AWA World Heavyweight Title. It is this development that makes it a pleasure for me to show some respect towards my future opponent as we show another Great moment in the Life of Harry Potsmoker." Just then, a birthday party was happening in the background of the scene.

Daniels: "Tonight's great moment occurs in 1991, as an eight-year-old Tommy Goddard lives the typical life of a child raised in a pro wrestling family. Naturally, this means he had received some rudimentary training. This particular moment goes back to a whacked Out wrestling show timed by wOw owner Robbie Richter to coincide with the birthday party for his daughter, one of Goddard's close childhood playmates. After this show, due to this, the younger Goddard and Richter were allowed to play in the ring before it was taken down- but this time, as an extra bonus, the two were allowed in the ring with two of the elder Richter's trainees. As an extra, the trainees did the job, technically giving the two their first victories in a wOw ring." Daniels then looked at the camera...

Daniels: "Now, this is a happy memory for any wrestler's child. However, it's memorable to the man who would become Harry Potsmoker for different reasons, as this can go down in history as the first time that Harry Potsmoker used his close relationship with Robbie Richter's daughter to get put over more deserving workers in whacked Out wrestling..." Daniels then stuck his thumb up for the crowd. "BUT NOT THE LAST..."

(91)

After the break, Joey Hamm headed to the ring for his matchup. Just then, a bad ripoff of "Bootylicious" hit as Chris Chetti headed into the ring in a Rikishi-like thong, then started to shake his ass before the match occurred...

Jason Knight: "This is the debut match here in AWAMLW for Chris Chetti- now, I know this guy's wrestling ability very well from his days in ECW. Apparently, however, he wishes to be called "The Booty Man 2k4"- not sure if that will be a bonus for him or not here...?"

Joey Styles: "CAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHT!"

Knight: "Um, yeah."

"The Booty Man 2k4" Chris Chetti v. Joey Hamm

Well, if you take the evil, evil gimmick they've given Chetti away from the picture, you come out with a surprisingly good matchup. Hamm's great work in the ring combined with Chetti's good skill as a worker ended up making the match seem less like the comedy match throwaway it was meant to be, leading to some decent work in the ring. Chetti used THE KNEE~! (which the announcers sold as the "High Knee"-oh ho, oh ho ho...what high comedy...) to take the advantage in the matchup, before making some violent attacks on Hamm. Just as Chetti was about to give Hamm a Stinkface, Hamm rebalanced himself and kicked Chetti in the crotch, retaking the advantage. One Endless Sorrow later, and Joey Hamm pulled off the victory. Very good, and even if I'll have to see that gimmick more often, I hope this will lead to a push...

(54, 81, 60)

Finale and the Men From Greece v. Terry Funk and The Johnsons

Well, when in doubt, take two feuds and mesh them together- SMELL THE BAD BOOKING~! This match was one of those matches which was amazing for a 6-man tag...of course, since 6-man tags are rarely any good to begin with, that's nothing major. The teams managed to keep the styles fairly separate: The Men From Greece did their dazzling power and double-team moves, Finale and Terry Funk tore each other apart, and The Johnsons...well, they got in the way fairly well. The match was as forgettable as anything- Finale CHEATED TO WIN~! over Terry Funk. Pretty straightforward, to say the least.

(56, 75, 58)

After the break, Chance Beckett came to the ring and took a mic...

Beckett: "Okay- last Saturday, I lost my first chance at getting the number one contender's position in the AWA. However, this is not a setback- when your chips go down, you've gotta keep going on. I may not be number one, but I did solidify myself as the number-two contender to the belt, and really- right now, that's fine with me! That's why, if anyone in the back thinks they have a shot at getting ahead of me in the AWA World Title rankings, I urge you to come on out and take a Chance on me!" Just then, Bryan Danielson came out and attacked, as we had a matchup.

Chance Beckett v. Bryan Danielson

WOW. Well, at least they always give a good matchup on AWA shows... In this case, Danielson and Beckett meshed insanely well, leading to another MOTN candidate as a result. The two put on a technical exhibition that matched a 0.9 on the puro scale for its wizardry. Massive armbars and/or leglocks abounded as the two attempted to get an advantage on each other. Chance Beckett got the advantage, and quickly hit a Chance Encounter on Danielson to get the big victory. Not too bad- hopefully, something will come of his recent push. Yevon knows AWAMLW needs some big names officially "made" by them...

(67, 95, 72)

Harry Potsmoker v. Frank Shamrock

...and speak of the devil, we get a match of Harry Potsmoker right afterwards, arguably the only big star that AWAMLW managed to make (and even then, it was more of a level of "from acclaimed to superstar" as Daniels and Danielson were.) This match added to the amazing matchup levels, as Potsmoker managed to work well with Frank Shamrock (something I'd never expect, as these two don't seem to be able to work well together.) The match was wonderfully stiff (on Shamrock's side) and skillfully sold (in Potsmoker's case.) Just as Frank Shamrock looked to have taken the advantage on Potsmoker, Vader ran through the stands in a baseball uniform...and proceeded to attack Frank Shamrock with a baseball bat! With the help, Potsmoker went to the top and hit a 450 Splash on Shamrock to get the big victory. After the match, Potsmoker took the mic...

Potsmoker: "HOW do you AWA assholes like that? You thought the Man Called Vader was done for- that he was past his prime. You DARED to force a former World Champion- nay, a living LEGEND to leave professional wrestling. Well, we knew that he had his skill, and now, the AWA can look at the face of its future: The next AWA World Champion, Harry Potsmoker, and his hired muscle, VADER: The huge man from the Colorado Rockies- The Baseball Team, not the Mountains!"

Vader: "I FEAR NO MAN, AND I FEEL NO PAIN...so PLAY BALL!"

(86, 92, 80)

[stokeriño]

*cringes at chirpy-chirpy younger sister bishoujo incestuous love-love plots*

All this is doing is conditioning me to physically twitch every time I hear the word "oniichan" at a high pitch wail, which is the way it's said most of the time anyway.

I hope you're happy.

[RavenBlack]

Heh. I had this sneaking suspicion that I'd turn out to be the little sister

But yep, deep down in the pit of my soul lives a Minako Aino-esque fangirl. It doesn't show up often, but it's very apparent when it does.

The last RL time it happened was back in October. I was at a house show, and was crowding the guard rail. I managed to get within 2 feet of both Randy Orton and Chris Benoit at the same time, resulting in a massive sensory overload, which sent me off into euphoric fangirl mode. I didn't really come down until about an hour later, and was still affected while writing out results for Rajah.com several hours later.

With that said...

*floats Kari-Chan off past Mars* *giggles* *stashes giant paper fan away in her personal pocketspace*

*sneaks up on stoke* *silently clears throat*

ONIICHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*giggles insanely*

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

WWE Raw

As Raw started, Maven headed into the ring and took a mic...

Maven: "Ladies and gentlemen, it is with a heavy heart that I have come to a realization. You see, in the WWE, there is no person who's even remotely in my league to challenge for the Intercontinental Title. That's why I've decided to up the ante a little bit. Tonight, 6 people have been chosen to fight, and then I will defend my belt against all three qualifiers later on this show. It is my DESPERATE hope that I'll be able to find somebody or bodies who can actually give me a challenge tonight. Therefore, without further adieu, let the Maven Invitational begin!" Just then, a loud "BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!" hit before some generic hoss music hit and John Heidenreich headed to the ring with Ms. Joni for a qualifying match. The two waited as Shane Goddard's video hit and he came out flanked by Steve Blackman and the match began.

Maven Invitational qualifiers:

Shane Goddard v. John Heidenreich

Okay. It is official: Shane Goddard is a minor deity. I thought he wasn't for real, but he's done the impossible: He got a decent match out of John Heidenreich. This was surprisingly decent: Goddard acted like a saint trying to make Heidenreich look like a monster while managing to also put on a decent display of offense himself- both things that rarely occur when matches like this take place. Unfortunately, the fans didn't really seem pleased from this, as the crowd was dead throughout the match (a shame, as this will likely be one of Heidenreich's only watchable matches.) Ms.Joni tried to send a metal briefcase towards Heidenreich, only to have Steve Blackman kick Heidenreich from behind, sending his head into the briefcase. Shane Goddard then grabbed Heidenreich and hit a quick Godd-Hand for the big victory and the title shot later that night. Awesome, and the fact the right person went over added to it.

(47, 75, 61)

After the break, Lance Storm came out to the ring and took a mic...

Storm: "Hey, this doesn't fly. I've been proving I can hold my own with Maven all this time, and for what? For him to go out and give other random people MY shot at the title? Well, I'm staying out here until that coward agrees to fight me..." Just then, Maven showed up on the TitanTron...

Maven: "Lance, Lance, Lance...I didn't say you couldn't be in the Maven Invitational...in fact, I've got your opponent already lined up..." Just then, AJ Styles headed down the ramp as we had a matchup!

Lance Storm v. AJ Styles

Well, apparently the WWE is taking the success of competing federations to heart...considering that AWAMLW's garnering a solid following on the backs of taking good workers and watching them fight opposite Raw, it only seems logical for the WWE to do the same thing. The two did not disappoint on this one, putting on an awesome matchup for the time allotted.Nice moves abounded as the whole of the match occurred. My only beef was with the ending, as Batista ran in and hit a Sit-Out Powerbomb on Lance Storm, giving AJ Styles the win...only for us to have a DUSTY FINISH~! as Storm headed to the match. This did not dissuade the Evolution members, as Styles and Batista continued to punish Lance Storm with additional Styles Clashes and Sit-Out Powerbombs as Raw went to break.

(80, 92, 86)

Rico v. Orlando Jordan

Well, this was a surprising matchup. Apparently, the crowd's really gotten behind Rico in recent weeks, as he managed to get them hyped up for an Orlando Jordan matchup. This isn't to say the matchup was particularly good, as the two were fairly decent (a disappointment probably caused by Orlando Jordan.) One fairly interesting note was in how Miss Jackie had Orlando Jordan's eye numerous times in the match, leading to a number of nice kicks by Rico. This wandering eye led to some problems, as it finally allowed Rico to counter the Slam Dunk with a Powerbomb, leading to a big win for him to put him into the IC Title matchup. Pretty subpar, but has its moments.

(67, 73, 70)

Mark Henry and Rodney Mack v. Metro (Bradley Richter/Nicholas Dinsmore) v. Kyo Dai II (Sakoda/Suzuki) v. La Resistance [Grenier/Conway]

This was billed as a number-one contender's matchup for the Tag Team Titles, and since there's only one team with an actual gimmick going towards the titles, three guesses who'll win. These teams proceeded to mix off for a decent matchup, however, when you put four teams together, they're bound to be terrible. The four teams proceeded to mix with their differing styles, mostly ending up in brawling. The three teams ended up ganging up on the technical wrestlers in Metro, but this led to some problems. Kyo Dai was the first to be eliminated, the result of an Au Revoir by La Resistance (which got some "U-S-A!" chants by the fans...) La Resistance looked confused in the action, only to have Metro meet Rob Conway with an Extreme Makeover to eliminate them. When the last two teams were left, a poor style clash abounded as the two attacked each other. However, Henry and Mack took the advantage before Mark Henry locked a bearhug while Rodney Mack locked the Blackout on Bradley Richter, leading to an easy tapout and making Henry and Rodney Mack the number one contenders (smell the ratings...)

(56, 74, 65)

After the match, a video aired...

Shannon Moore: "Hello, all you beautiful people. Tonight, we get to see one person's dream become fulfilled, as I, Raw's most BEAUTIFUL diva, Shannon Moore, take you in to watch a sex change operation!" Just then, the scene was brought to the sight of Max Impact and a doctor in a giant metal mask going into the operating room as Shannon Moore caught up to them..."

Moore: "Max Impact...tonight, you're going to undergo our sex-change operation. Can you tell us what is going through your mind?"

Impact: "I cannot believe it- I've wanted this for so long, and it's finally going to occur! Oh, Shannon, I feel as happy as a little girl!" Impact then proceeded to head to the operating table as the Doctor headed to Shannon...

Doctor (Doom): "Now, we're planning to make a defined style change for this one. I have been working on an experimental procedure where the sex change naturally occurs following transferring the DNA of a horse into a human. I plan to use this to make Mr. Impact the Miss he so desires to be..." The doctor proceeded to put a fake-looking vial called "Horse DNA" next to them. As the doctor started putting the horse DNA into Max Impact, the lights started going off and on as the camera shook. Suddenly, when the lights came back, Impact was gone...only to be replaced by an audible neighing noise...

Moore: "I'm still a little shocked by this turn of events- until next time, this is WWE's hottest diva, Shannon Moore, telling you it's okay to be a man trapped in a woman's body- or vice versa!"

(55)

After that, Lance Storm was seen still selling the attack from earlier in the show. Maven headed over and proceeded to gloat...

Maven: "Well, where are YOU going after all of that?"

Storm: "I'm...going...for my Intercontinental Title shot..."

Maven: "Oh- I see. Well, good news, you'll be in that match. And better news for me..." Just then, AJ Styles and Batista held him while Maven hit a DROPKICK OF DOOM~! on Lance Storm, sending him down. "...Now there's a specific weak point in the four-way tonight! Keep beating this guy down, boys!" Styles and Batista proceeded to attack as Raw went to break...

(87)

Matt Cross v. Shannon Moore

How did this match get on regular TV? For one thing, it's between cruiserweights, for another, it was AWESOME! The two proceeded to tear it up better than you'd expect from the "transgender" guy and the latest "bland babyface" WWE's pushing. Despite this, the two managed to almost get the crowd into their spotfest, leading to some nice stuff. Cross proceeded to take the victory in this one, which wasn't a bad thing- he needed something to take an advantage in order to get noticed on Raw (though matches like this will do that nicely...) (50, 92, 71)

After the match, there was a small crowd of people who were in back waiting for Matt Cross...

Girl: "You were awesome out there, Matt!"

Boy: "Way to wrestle out there!"

Boy 2: "Generic compliment!"

Cross: "Yeah, yeah- thanks...I've got to go..." Matt Cross proceeded to leave the crowd and head to Chavo Classic's dressing room as Raw went to break...

(54)

(Intercontinental) Maven v. Lance Storm v. Shane Goddard v. Rico

The match started out in what appeared to be a triple-threat of Maven, Goddard, and Rico. The matchup seemed to mesh well, as both Goddard and Rico's styles managed to work together (when added to Maven's style being so basic it goes with anyone.) Eventually, Maven and Rico took turns working on Goddard, going with a series of double-team moves against him. Goddard tried to fight back, but was overpowered by the skills of Maven and Rico. Meanwhile, Lance Storm slowly limped down the ramp, trying to make it to the matchup. Inside the ring, the fans started to get behind Shane Goddard following his beatdown, as Goddard sold each of the two surprisingly well as Storm took his time getting down the ramp. Finally, as Maven went for a DROPKICK OF DOOM~!, Shane Goddard ducked out of the way of a Rico Roundhouse Kick, ending with Rico kicking Maven in the head and allowing Goddard a chance to make a comeback. A series of nice attacks on Maven got the crowd to cheer Goddard on while Storm started to rest on the steel steps, still selling his attack. Maven went for a DROPKICK OF DOOM~!, but Goddard grabbed him and hit a Show-Stealer on him. Goddard then went for the cover, however, in the commotion, Rico had managed to grab Lance Storm and roll him into the ring. Goddard and Rico covered their opponents at the same time, but Maven managed to get his shoulder up at 2.999999- making him unable to see that Lance Storm got his shoulder up about .000002 seconds slower... The fans waited for the results, only to have Rico's music hit as he was handed the Intercontinental Title!

JR: "BAH GAWD! We have a new champion! It looks like Rico's pulled off what has to be considered a major upset here!"

Lawler: "...And it looks like there's one person who's none too happy about that, JR!" Just then, Shane Goddard pounced and attacked the new Intercontinental Champion as security pulled him off of Rico as Raw went to break!

(78, 81, 79)

Booker T v. Scott Steiner

Before the match, Scott Steiner took the mic...

Steiner: "Big Poppa Pump is your Hookup! HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME! Now, tonight I'm gonna be facing a hard opponent here in Booker T, but I am not scared- I've got the power of Talsum protecting me from all who would deny the almighty power of the freaks and the peaks! Now, Booker T may need to prepare for people trying to attack him, but I do not- I can prepare by GETTING LAID EVERY NIGHT...HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME! PRAISE TALSUM!" Booker T then proceeded to rush down to the ring and take a mic...

Booker T: "I'm sick and tired of hearing all of your talk about the POWER OF TALSUM! Here's a tip for you- stop going on some giant artifact for your power and start going after the thing that gives real power, yourself. I was able to manage this, and I turned my life around with the help of professional wrestling. Now, I'm a FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME WCW Champion, I'm a top superstar here in the WWE..." The crowd booed at that statement... "...and I'm gonna kick your ass all over this arena! NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT..."

Lawler: "These two have had a storied history in the past, going back to a blood feud in the waning days of WCW..."

JR: "...zipit..."

Lawler: "But Booker T just..."

JR: "...zipit..."

Lawler: "I'm trying to give some background on the match..."

JR: "...zipit..."

Match: Well, I'm continually surprised that Booker T and Scott Steiner manage to gel so well together. These two's styles (Booker T's decent all-around ability and Steiner's roided-out belly-to-belly suplex machine) seem to work whenever they get together, and it's a surprise that this hasn't been utilized more often in WWE. The two put on a great match for this show in a surprise. One weakness was that the crowd wasn't as into it as you'd expect from workers on the level these two are supposedly at. Booker T took the obvious advantage, until we got WWE ending #9: Lawler left the announce table, RAN IN~! on Booker T, and allowed Scott Steiner to get the victory...yeah, I've seen this before...

(68, 84, 76)

Triple H v. John Cena

Oh, come on...Do we really need to go into this one? You know the way it ends, I know the way it ends, let's just save me the trouble of writing out who wins this and just say it. Triple H wins, The Hurricane runs in for the save, Evolution rushes in and beats him down, Evolution have a virtual circle-jerk in the ring as the show ends.

(92, 79, 88)

After watching the tape of Raw, I was giving Joey a ride back to Rhode Island in a mad dash for some time at home. I was unsure what to say I had saw- I mean, I knew he deserved to know what his tag team partner was doing in TNA, but it didn't seem to be my place to tell him about it.

Joey: "What's the problem, Tom? Is there something on your mind...?"

"Oh, I don't know...there's just a couple things going on at the moment, ya know?"

Joey: "I see. You know I'm here if you need it, right?"

"Yeah- I know if you could help me, you would, man..."

Joey: "Don't forget that. So, what's the problem?"

"Well, I saw something I shouldn't have down in Nashville..."

Joey: "Oh, really? What was it?" I was nervous. Just as I was about to spill the beans, I received a phone call...

"Moshimoshi?"

Booker T: "SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That Thursday, I knew what I had to do. I felt I was too hard on Greg beforehand, and made it a point to apologize to him before the show. I searched through the back, finally seeing Greg stretching before the show.

"Hey, man...can I talk to you for a second?"

Greg: "Sure Tom- I really wanted to talk to you about...Sunday, you know?"

"That's what I was here for. I'm sorry if it seemed that I was too hard on you- I probably would be the last person who should do that, seeing as who my sister is..."

Greg: "Don't worry, Tom...I understand it."

"I guess what I had to say is- it's not my place for this. If you're into Bob, it's cool..."

Greg: "Wait...Oh no you didn't say that..."

"Huh?"

Greg: "Come on- what the hell do you take me for? Did you REALLY think I was into Bob Ryder? I mean, come on- the guy's icky!"

"Then why were you with him last Sunday? Here I thought you were gay with Bob, and you say this?"

Greg: "Well, it's totally simple. I do him a few 'favors', and he pushes me in NWATNA. It's win-win!" Just then, I felt totally shocked and somewhat disgusted.

"Um...tell me you didn't just say that..."

Greg: "Honestly, Tom. I mean, me and Steve signed about the same time. Steve's a much better worker than I am, but he was a jobber and released by TNA while I was put in a top stable and given a decent push for an X-Division guy. Did you REALLY think there wasn't some reason for that to occur?" For once, I was speechless. I had thought that Greg was a standup guy for the most part, and then I heard that he does something like this regularly. I bolted off and tried to get my head on straight for that night's XPlosion, only to be crossed by Vince Russo...

Russo: "Ah, Tom! I've been looking all over for you! Come in and see who we've got to help you out for your stuff tonight- it's a huge coup for TNA." Russo then sniffed the air around me... "Do you smell that? It smells like...RATINGZZZZZZZZZZ!" I looked at who he was with, and was fairly surprised as well...this was a pretty good one.

Russo: "Now, we'll be using this to go into your first feud. Now, I like what Danny and Jay are doing together, so we're going to use you with Jayce in this- is that okay with you?"

"um...sure, me and Jayce work fairly well together. Go with it..."

Russo: "Excellent. I'm counting on you guys!" The show started as I continued to get my game face on...

NWATNA XPlosion

As XPlosion started, Goldylocks was backstage with her men...

Goldylocks: "All right...tonight's going to be a big...big...BIG...night for...all of us. To begin with, we've got the Unstoppable Force of NWATNA, my widdle Johnny here, going against...who was it again?"

Walters: "..."

Goldylocks: "Oh, here it is...one of those Peacemaker guys. Then, we have...who are you again?"

Young: "um...David Young..."

Walters: "..."

Goldylocks: "Yes, Davis, you'll be facing off someone in a contracts match...Hopefully, you'll prove yourself useful in getting us a new member of the family...You'd BETTER..."

Young: "Um, yes madame..."

Walters: "..."

Goldylocks: "And you don't have to call me madame...where I come from, that's the head of a house of ill repute..."

Young: "Um...okay, madame..." Goldylocks looked insulted.

Goldylocks: "Just get out there and get that contract!" David Young left the room as Goldylocks looked at Walters. "Why, the nerve of that impudent fool. Luckily, YOU would never do that to me, Johnny..."

Walters: "...Whatever."

David Young v. Reckless Youth

"This should be a great matchup, Jocelyn- Reckless Youth has been a legend on the independent scene for years."

"Yeah, yeah, Dave- and now he's in a jobber match here in TNA-look how good it did for him!"

"Okay- she's a little dumb animal, folks! Let's give her a hand!"

Match: Well, this was...mediocre. The two were able to mesh...somewhat, but Youth's best days were behind him and Young's best days aren't that great. Even Goldylocks looked bored watching the match (well, maybe it was her gimmick, but I'm writing this and I say she was bored as the fans were.) David Young took the advantage, using his better than average (for a cruiserweight) brawling to attack Reckless Youth. Young managed to hit his MAIN EVENT 'PINEBUSTER~! (copyright Pat Patterson), then looked to Goldylocks (who turned her head.) This was a bad move for Young, because like everyone knows, YOU CAN'T USE A SPINEBUSTER AS A FINISHER IN 2005...or not, as Reckless Youth got up and rolled Young up for the pin. Eh, it was what it was, and from what the fans thought, that was not much.

(17, 77, 47)

Meanwhile, Straight Money were hanging out backstage.

CM Punk: "Did you see, Julio, my friend? The power of Straight Edge prevailed once more, as I was able to go into a ring of barbed wire and defeat that evil, drug-abusing, wicked person Raven once and for all. Now, people truly know that I am the better man, and it's all thanks to my clean living! Drugs would never allow me to get as much skill as it took to defeat that horrible Raven, don't you think?" Just then, Jeff Jarrett walked over to the two of them...

Jarrett: "You know, I really oughta thank you for taking Raven out of commission like you did. With your victory, you kicked the number one contender down a few pegs, giving me a huge leeway..."

CM Punk: "Why, thank you, Mr. Jarrett- you're a credit to the World Title..."

Jarrett: "While I'm at it, I think your victory and defeating Raven deserves something. How about tonight, me and you go one-on-one for the World Title? Would you be interested in that?"

CM Punk: "Well, the chance to bring the power of Straight Edge to the world like only the champ could is tempting...Okay, I'll do it!" The two shook hands as the action went back to the ring...

John Walters v. Kid Psycho

Mmm....Walters versus Shelley on free TV...These two managed to put on the decent match that you would expect from the two- i.e. a technical textbook of a match that looked more like what you'd find in a Pure Wrestling federation.

"These two are really doing well here, Dave- I knew that if anyone can put a showing in against the undefeated John Walters, it would be one of the Peacemakers!"

"Oh, really, Jocelyn? How do you know they're so against this? Hell, I bet that Kid Psycho wishes he were allowed to be as close as John Walters is to his manager!"

"Oh, come on, Dave. Who would want to see Kid Psycho and Goldylocks together in a TNA ring?"

As the match occurred, the Pure Wrestling influence occurred too much, almost changing the rules as it went...at least it seemed like it, as Walters attacked Psycho enough to keep locking in the Sharpshooter. Kid Psycho managed to get to the ropes 3 times, but at his fourth one, he apparently didn't go with it and just tapped out to become another notch in Walters's streak. Not bad at all...

(52, 80, 66)

After the break, Team America2 headed up to the ramp carrying the America's X-Cup. Jayce Simmons and Tom Goddard then proceeded to take some mics...

Jayce Simmons: "Hey, all of you people! Now, since we know EVERY ONE of you paid to see the first day of a new era- one where the X-Cup is being rocked by the U-S 2..." The crowd booed from this. "We felt it was only right to party with OUR people, all the ladies who want us and the men who want to be us..."

Tom Goddard: "Or vice versa..."

Simmons: "You know it, El Capitan. That's why, we here at the U-S 2 have decided to give you something to bring meaning into all of your pathetic little lives!"

Goddard: "That's why tonight, Team America2 gives to you...THE DARKNESS!" Just then, a stage was revealed as The Darkness came out and started playing and Team America2 started a very choreographed-looking dance number...

<<Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel

My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel

Touching you, touching me,

Touching you god you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh!

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day

You got me in a spin but everything is A.O.K!

Touching you, touching me

Touching you god you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh!

Guitar!

Touching you, touching me

Touching you god you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh!

>> As the concert kept going, 3 Live Kru came out to the ring and took a mic...

BG James: "DARKNESS? The Darknesses is here! Come over here, Charlie Murphy! Say hi to your old boy BG James!" Just then, Tom Goddard headed over...

Goddard: "Sorry, punk...this is an America2 affair..."

BG James: "Wait...those ain't brother Darknesses! What'chu trying to do, bait-and-switching BG James like that, biotch! I should put a smackdown on all of you for this one, you hear?"

Killings: "Chill, chill, BG..."

BG James: "You are cold as ice, Ron Killings! Can't you see what they're trying to pull here?"

Killings: "No, I mean this is the perfect spot to see how our little protege handles this. What's your plan, Mr. Hayes?"

Hayes: "I'm using my magic missile on The Darkness..."

Lollipop: "(Darn it, why'd we have to take on a nerd...) Okay, roll..." Kevin Hayes took out a 20-sided die and rolled...only to have Danny Hillstead and Jay Matthews attack him.

Matthews: "Sorry...your attempt failed." The teams began to brawl as continued while The Darkness played, finally leaving Team America2 laid out on the ramp. Simmons and Goddard got their hands on a microphone as 3 Live Kru left...

Simmons: "This isn't over...not by a long shot! THEY NEVER SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU HICKS MONEY!"

(79)

As the show went back from break, Team America2 were being taken off by paramedics. Just then, The Briscoe Brothers came out to the ring...

Mark Briscoe: "Hey- we came for our match, we're being paid for a match, and we're having this match go through!" Mark grabbed Danny Hillstead while Jay grabbed Jay Matthews as the two proceeded to roll them into the ring, getting a quick three count for their troubles!

Jay Briscoe: "There- you paramedics can have them now..."

(47, 88, 67- apparently, the Briscoes can roll people into the ring and cover them really, really well...)

Jeff Jarrett v. CM Punk

Okay- did anyone think CM Punk actually had a chance here? The only good thing about this match was the fact that Jeff Jarrett didn't totally squash Punk, actually doing his best to make Punk seem like a credible World Title contender (even though he's still at least 6 months away from being a viable contender.) This could be a good thing- if NWATNA can make some new stars, everyone benefits in the end. Jarrett got the win, of course, but the more telling story seems to be how dead the crowd was for the match- apparently, Jarrett's star is fading, and he might be better served going downwards for the federation.

(59, 83, 71)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

I was already hyped up for this weekend. An AWA PPV Saturday, then the River Rave Sunday. In order to try to get the proper setup going, I forgoed my usual driving patterns for the weekend (easier since I didn't have the Nashville run to worry about) and headed up with Harry Smith in order to work the details out for our match Sunday. I knew it was necessary- both of us knew our first time in the ring together was the drizzling shits, so we needed as much time to work the blow-off as possible. After a quick switchoff once we hit Minneapolis to a waiting car drove by the Men From Greece (in order to help preserve kayfabe through AWAMLW as much as possible), I headed to the PPV and got ready for my spots. Little did I know the stuff going on in Rhode Island at that moment...

Roderick Strong: "Hey, Steve? I've got a question..."

Steve Evans: "Shoot..."

Roderick: "Well, see...I was thinking about that stuff Jocelyn was saying, and well, I guess I'll give her a shot. I can't really ask Tom for pointers on her..."

Steve: "Yeah, that whole 'he's so fucking in love with her he can't see straight' thing really drives a wedge into stuff like this..."

Roderick: "...I know, so I figured you'd be the next best thing. I mean, you're managed by her, you're bound to know something..."

Steve: "Well, yeah, but come on: Tom's my best friend...why do you think that I'd go behind his back?"

Roderick: "I'll buy you a 30 of PBR..." Just then, Steve thought it over...

Steve: "This is tough...on the one hand, Tom IS my best buddy, but on the other, that's Free beer..." Just then, two smaller Steve Evans showed up on his shoulders...

Good Steve: "Steve...you must do the right thing...bros before...um...other bros offering beer..."

Bad Steve: "No...take the beer...come on, it's not like you're forcing her into Rod's arms...just be a man..."

Good Steve: "Side with Tom! That's the way you need to go!"

Bad: "Take the beer!"

Good: "Tom!"

Bad: "Beer!"

Good: "Tom!"

Bad: "Beer!" The two began fighting back and forth, until Good Steve finally grabbed a gun and shot Bad Steve, sending a halo out over it.

Good Steve: "The bullet of justice caps evil's ass!" Steve then looked up with a slight smile on his face...

Steve: "Ah, here you go...if you really want the facts, here goes. Jocelyn has this...little thing. You see, whenever she doesn't really like the guy but is willing to go to bed with him, she always makes them put tapes of Fat Albert in, then has them videotape the whole thing using that as background music. Thinks it makes it look 'more like a porno'. Anyways, now because of that, she gets so wet she can't STAND it when the theme to Fat Albert plays. Do that, and she'll virtually come after you legs first, I swear..."

Roderick: "Thanks...I owe you one..."

Steve: "More like 30, biyotch!" Steve walked off, only to be met by Robbie Richter as the show started in Minneapolis...

AWAMLW PPV:

As the show started, Court H. Bauer was in back with the rest of AWAMLW...

Bauer: "Last Saturday was a night that will live in infamy. Last week, that...that little punk Harry Potsmoker became number one contender to the AWA Title. Think about that, you people! The title of legends: Verne Gagne, Nick Bockwinkel, Curt Hennig, Rick Martel, Jerry Lawler...THAT could very well go into the hands of Harry Potsmoker to do god-knows-what with it! Well, I don't know about you, but I am NOT going to let that happen. I know that any TRUE AWAMLW wrestler does not want to see that occur, and from here on out, we need to do all we can to keep the belt in the hands of someone who can make sure that it happens, and we can wipe those Death Eaters off the map here in AWAMLW once and for all. That's why, I'm pleased to offer up a bounty: Whoever can take the AWA East Coast Title from Harry Potsmoker- take his raison d'etre for being here, will NOT have to defend it unless they choose to! In addition, I will give $25,000 to the person who pulls that feat off. This goes to the question- WHO among you is willing to fight for the glorious force of tradition?"

Who: "YES I AM!" Everyone looked at Who... "...What? They're Wrestlecrap kids- I thought it was a setup...I'm going to go over there now..."

(82)

Meanwhile, after the break, The Johnsons were hanging out backstage...

Richard Johnson: "Well, we've got our groove back...we've done it. Finally, once again the Johnsons are on EVERY AWAMLW fans' lips!"

Rod Johnson: "You know it, and soon we'll have the AWA Global Tag Team Titles to prove that WE are the biggest Johnsons on the AWA roster!"

Dick: "You know it. But the Men From Greece are a good team- how will we be able to beat them?"

Rod: "Dick, Dick, Dick...come on. Those men may be hard, but who on the roster is harder than we are?"

Dick: "I guess you're right. Well, shall we scout our opponents?"

Rod: "I'll go wherever you take me, Dick!" The two walked off as Kriss Sprules looked at them as they headed offscreen...

Sprules: "Holy moly! It must be my birthday!"

(44)

After that showed, X-Foundation was in the ring preparing. Just then, Tom Green's voice started... "...like, like basketball players...and...and Greeks...YOU KNOW, MEN FROM GREECE?" The Men From Greece then came out carrying their AWA Tag Team Titles and hit the ring ready to attack.

The Men From Greece v. X-Foundation

Well, this was another typical matchup. The Men From Greece continued their great match streak, putting on a clinic this time with X-Foundation. The two teams managed to put on a good show that the crowds surprisingly were not interested in. However, the match still managed to come out well despite all of this. The end took a little bit off of it, as The Johnsons (with Kriss Sprules in tow for no apparent reason) RAN IN~! and attacked the Men From Greece viciously, drawing them the DQ. Not too bad for what it was...

(45, 88, 66)

After the break, Ariel took the mic...

Ariel: "And now, without further adieu, it's time for the Bret Hart Whines About Montreal Show! Here is your host, Bret "The Hitman" Hart!" Bret Hart headed to his seat and took a mic.

Bret Hart: "Welcome to another edition of the Bret Hart Whines About Montreal Show. Tonight, I'm going to be doing something for others, much like I always did during my career. Here now, I am going to try to negotiate peace between two of this federation's most brutal workers. Here now, is one of the hottest up-and-coming workers in AWAMLW, Finale, and a true wrestling legend, Terry Funk!" Terry Funk and Finale came out and sat on opposite sides of Hart.

Hart: "Welcome to my show, fellows..."

Funk: "Ain't no problem for someone like you, Bret..."

Finale: "The pleasure is all yours..."

Funk: "You see why I hate this guy now? Finale is just like all those other people from wOw- no respect for true legends of wrestling. That's why I've taken it upon myself to beat some respect into this guy by any means necessary!"

Finale: "You talk big, old man, but you forget that times have changed drastically since your prime. For one thing, we have the wheel now..." The crowd booed that statement... "...and for another, the new school of wrestling has much more talent than any of those old-school guys. Just look at our movesets, our skills at spots, and you can see that we have it all over any of those older workers..."

Funk: "...and you also can't put out a match besides those spotfests! The older school had stuff that made matches mean something! Psychology! Skill for the craft! But most importantly, RESPECT!"

Finale: "Respect is earned. When you have a ***** match this millennium, call me!"

Hart: "Now, I'm trying to stay out of this, but Mr.Finale- since when did YOU have a ***** match, ever?" Finale looked pissed...

Finale: "The fact that I haven't broken that barrier yet doesn't concern me. I take solace in the fact that I have my whole career ahead of me, and when it came down to it, I can know that in the end..." Finale jumped up and tried to start a cheer... "YOU TAPPED OUT...YOU TAPPED OUT..." Bret Hart looked legit pissed, then held Finale's arms as Terry Funk then clocked Finale. The two proceeded to attack each other violently, only to have Brandon Downard run in and help Finale attack Funk! The two laid waste to the set...

Terry Funk v. Brandon Downard and Finale

This match, if you could call it that, was a glorified beatdown for the most part. These two just tore into Funk, not letting up for anything. Frequent shots with pieces of the set followed, as the two beat a couple years out of the ageless Funk. Eventually, almost as if showing mercy, Brandon Downard sent Funk up to the top rope and hit a Downfall on him, then covered him for the victory. Funk and Finale continued to brawl more as the show went to break.

(63, 75, 69)

Hart: "What...what the? I haven't felt this used since Vince McMahon SCREWED me!" Hart sobbed as the show went to break.

(73)

Justin Credible v. Joey Hamm

Oh, look, one of the Johnsons is doing double duty...oh, wait, that's Justin Credible. Sorry, I always get that mixed up...The two managed to put on a good show here, as Hamm actually managed to mesh fairly well with the former ECW champion (a surprise, as Justin Credible was not known for amazing workrate). The two put on a pretty good match, with Credible making Joey Hamm look like a potential superstar in the making. This isn't a bad thing- AWAMLW needs names, and having as many "homegrown" guys will be a good thing in the long run. Hamm got the win following an Endless Sorrow- not a bad thing for the same reason, albeit a little surprising that Credible actually did do the job.

(66, 79, 72)

After that match, Hamm went up to Credible backstage...

Hamm: "Great match out there, Justin...it was an honor to work with you."

Credible: "Thank you..."

Hamm: "I'm surprised you work for AWAMLW. So, what made you decide to come here?"

Credible: "It is necessary for my goal. One day, I will catch up to him- the man who killed my father and drove me to work my magic in the truest form possible- the form of professional wrestling. Once I find that man, I will show how I have been driven to success here, and then I will alert him quite simply. I will tell him 'My name is Aldo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.'"

Hamm: "But...wasn't that a gimmick?"

Credible: "The gimmick was a mistake those people in the WWE gave me. They made me use my real name for my first run, just as I was closer than ever to finding this guy! I had to wait years to get this close again. Do not use the name until I have defeated my blood rival, young Joseph..."

Hamm: "Okay..."

Chance Beckett v. Vader

Well, this was a styles clash...I don't know, but it really is almost sad to see Vader, formerly the most formidable monster heel in wrestling, going 50/50 with Chance Beckett, a worker who he would have demolished 10 years ago. When you add that to the fact that he's doing it in a Colorado Rockies uniform and pretending to be a baseball player, it really does become sad. The two didn't even mesh that well, as I said: Vader's power and Beckett's style don't work, unless Beckett was being squashed. However, at least the end was good for it, as Vader hit a huge powerbomb on Beckett, giving Vader the big victory (a shame, as Beckett seemed to be catching fire with his push.)

(79, 75, 77)

After that, Court H. Bauer's office was shown as Christopher Daniels and Harry Potsmoker were led in.

Bauer: "Now, according to the rules of the AWA, Potsmoker does get a World Title shot guaranteed. However, I've decided I want this finished up as soon as possible, so in my infinite wisdom, that shot will occur NEXT WEEK!" The fans cheered at that news. "Now, if you two will just sign here, it will be made official..." Bauer passed a contract to each one, who signed it in turn. "Excellent. Next week will hopefully be the greatest night in AWAMLW history...the night in which we DESTROY you..."

(90)?

Back in Rhode Island, Roderick went through the backstage area. Eventually, he managed to catch up to Jocelyn.

Roderick: "(This information was...well, pretty cheap...but it'll be worth it if my sacrifice protects my beloved Kat...) Oh, hey Jocelyn! What's going on?"

Jocelyn: "Oh, I have to head off to the TNA Pay-Per-View...prepared for your match Sunday?"

Roderick: "Of course...(Here goes nothing...)" Just then, Roderick Strong put a DVD inside Jocelyn's portable player, as the sight of old Fat Albert episodes came up. Just then, a strange feeling occurred inside Jocelyn, as there was only one way to let it out...

Jocelyn: "ECCHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID STEVE PUT YOU UP TO, YOU FUCKING PERVERT?????" Jocelyn began to attack Roderick viciously with a number of mallets, paper fans, and nail-filled baseball bats, beating the time traveller to within an inch of his life... "DON'T EVER CONFUSE ME WITH...WITH THAT THING AGAIN, YOU FREAK!" Jocelyn got in her car and sped off as Roderick was left beaten...

Roderick: "Ow...but...but...why...?"

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

When I got to the show, I was met by a sight that was a mixture of joy and pain: The sight of Roderick sprawled out in the parking lot, having been beaten to within an inch of his life. I recognized the style almost immediately: I couldn't see how many times those attacks had been towards me...

"So...from the looks of things, I have to assume you're a total jackass who tried to make a move on Jocelyn, aren't you?"

Roderick: "y...yes...sorry...?"

Harry: "Don't worry, Tom. The important thing here is not that he had made a move on Jocelyn. The important thing here, of course, is..." Harry proceeded to put on a sing-song voice... "YOU GOT BEATEN UP BY A GIRL..."

"Honestly, how come you never showed how much of a character you are, Harry?"

Harry: "Dunno...anyway, how did this come about? How did this girl come to beat you up...tee hee..you flaming fucking pussy, er, Roderick, is it?"

Roderick: "Hey...it's...not my fault...Steve...he..."

"Oh...let me guess. You tried to get ways to woo Jocelyn, and Steve told you she had this total fetish for being videotaped having sex to the theme from Fat Albert- that just hearing the theme puts her into overdrive, huh?"

Roderick: "Um...well...yeah..."

"Listen...you might want to..."

"...try something different if you're serious in wooing Jocelyn..."

"...just be yourself, I'm sure she'll be okay with it..."

"...remember one thing: I am the most over wrestler in Rhode Island right now. Do something like that again and I will have some high-ranking 'businessmen' who are huge fans of mine come find you and let you see first-hand what it's like to be on The Sopranos..." <---

Roderick: "Okay...sure. You realize I'm one call away from a bunch of superheroes, you little punk biotch!" Roderick made a charge for me, only to have Harry get between the two of us...

Harry: "Come on, everyone. Let's be happy...let's sing...Happy happy happy..." Me and Roderick linked hands and started to sing along.

Roderick: "Well, I feel better...OW! Well, mentally...I'll talk to you later..."

"Okay. Fair warning: I'm not gonna lose to you!"

Roderick: "Okay..."

Harry: "Just out of curiosity- how'd you call what he did to get her angry?"

"Simple: The whole Fat Albert sex tape thing is Steve's fetish..."

Harry: "eew...."

NWA: Total Nonstop Action

As the show started out, Straight Money were hanging out backstage. Just then, the three members of The Gathering ran in and made an attack on the two members. The two were beaten fairly viciously, until CM Punk took a mic...

Punk: "I should have expected such a heinous assault by followers of a drug abuser...if you three hooligans want to fight me so bad, why not at least have the decency of getting your ass kicked in a match tonight?" The three members looked at each other and nodded...then attacked the two once more to solidify it.

CarWreck: "If we must take a match, then we must do whatever it takes for us to win!"

(68)

In the ring, Danny Hillstead and Jay Matthews were posing with the America-X Cup...

Tenay: "These two workers are taking a lot of pride in their team's big victory- enough to make a challenge to the members of Team Japan in a non-Cup match!"

Danny Hillstead and Jay Matthews v. Hi69 and Masahiro Indohara

Let's see: Hi69, Indohara, Matthews...and Hillstead. One of these things is not like the others...To be fair, this match proved, if nothing else, that being surrounded by three amazing workers can carry anyone, even someone like Danny Hillstead to a good enough match to be watchable. This is a good thing- TNA PPVs going up against the WWE PPV and a top cult fed's big show need big shows to help keep fans loyal to them. The four (*sniff* EVEN Hillstead) did their job, putting on a decent opener to the show. The end of the match was fairly sub-par, as Hillstead did his poor Crossfire impression (that he's so unimaginative as to call "The Finishing Move") on Masahiro Indohara to get the victory. Not a bad matchup, a rarity when Hillstead's involved...

(39, 82, 60)

Legend v. The Amazing Red

Well, this was surprisingly awesome. I didn't expect Legend to mesh that well with The Amazing Red, but the match actually turned out fairly decent for it. More surprising to me was how into it the crowd got, as they were eating out of the two's hands for most of the match. The two proceeded to put on one of the better style clashes I've seen- something that says a lot for the skill of the two. Legend got the victory, which was surprising- The Amazing Red is used more often in NWATNA shows than Legend is (though hopefully, that'll come to an end after this...)

(83, 79, 81)

(X-Division) Jason Cross v. Rave Master

Well, this is a treat for everyone...Jason Cross has really come into his own in the last few months of TNA, and Jimmy Rave usually brings a decent match to the table. The two did put on a match that was worthy of the PPV (hopefully leading to Rave Master getting more of a push in TNA.) Cross in particular was really good as the heel- it seems like he's getting closer and closer to a top-caliber heel in NWATNA. Cross CHEATED TO WIN~!, keeping the X-Title. After the match, Rave Master tried to shake hands with Cross, who agreed to...only to kick Rave Master in the gut and perform an X-Factor on him, then ran off clutching his X-Title. Not bad...

(52, 82, 67)

The Gathering (Colt Cabana/Chris Hamrick/CarWreck) v. Straight Money

Oh, joy...a handicap match for no apparent reason. To be fair, this was a fairly good handicap match, even with its problems (thrown together, having the heels be the handicap team, etc.). The two teams did manage to mesh as well as you could expect, putting on a decent show. The only thing that surprised me was the ending of the match, as CM Punk got an easy victory on Chris Hamrick in apparently an attempt to kill The Gathering's heat...

(56, 78, 67)

After the break, 3 Live Kru headed to the ring en masse. Konnan then took the mic...

Konnan: "You know, I been hearing how them strawberries in Team America2 been saying since they brought you people the Darkness, they're supposedly more in touch with what the fans want than us. Well, everybody knows 3 Live Kru always be rowdy rowdy and 'bout it, 'bout it, so we gonna give you the concert you REALLY want: The 3! LIVE! KRU! Let's get this show on the road, yo!" Lollipop started dancing as Ron Killings took the mic...

Killings: "Um...uh...GET ROWDY! We gon' move some thangs! 'Gon move some thangs..." Killings kept rapping as Konnan took the mic...

Konnan: "Um...we might need your help here, Kru-Trainee...how are you at rapping?"

Kevin Hayes: "um...I'll try... the rap music, huh?"

Konnan: "Yeah...HEY YO! Kevin Hayes be grabbin' the mic!" Hayes took the mic and continued...

Hayes: "Um...uh...I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE, You other brothas can't deny, that when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get SPRUNG..." The other 3LK members groaned as Hayes continued on his 'flow'...

Konnan: B-Gizzle, get that mic away from him, blow us away..." BG James then took the mic...

James: "She's a SUPER FREAK, SUPER FREAK, She's super freaky...." Just as BG James continued on his tangent, Danny Hillstead, Jay Matthews, and Jayce Simmons headed to the ring...

Hillstead: "Oh no...keep going, this is one of the funniest things we've seen all year..."

Matthews: "You said it...these guys make Ashlee Simpson look talented!" The 3 Live Kru members got incensed and began to attack the America2 members, leaving the ring in a shambles as the show went to break...

(82)

After the break, a set was laid out as Joanie Laurer was in the ring with a mic...

Laurer: "Hello, all my wonderful fans! Tonight, we've got a great episode of The Joanie Laurer Show. During all of my time in professional wrestling, I've tried to give young girls a positive role model- someone they can look up to as a bastion of beauty and skill. Now, tonight I am pleased to announce that tonight's guest is someone who appears to be going down the same route that I did. That is why I would like to give a big Joanie Laurer Show welcome to, the TNA Idol, Jocelyn Richter!" Jocelyn Richter then proceeded to come out to the ring and take a seat next to Laurer.

Richter: "Thank you for your kind words, Miss Laurer..."

Laurer: "It is no problem. Everyone knows I always like to be here for the newer generation of women's professional wrestlers. Now, first off, there's one question that I think all the men out there want to know..."

Richter: "Why...Miss Laurer, I...I couldn't answer that..."

Laurer: "Come on, the question is simple: How was your career inspired by my entirely inspirational run as one of the greatest stars in women's wrestling history?"

Richter: "Well, actually, I...kind of..."

Laurer: "Don't be shy...I know about how inspirational my own story was to people, you can gush as much as you would like to..."

Richter: "Well, you see...um, I try to never pattern my career after any one worker. I've always tried to emulate a number of workers and tried to strive to the best that I personally could get...you being one of those workers...tee hee?"

Laurer: "I see...well, moving on. You're the current Miss TNA champion, is that correct...?"

Richter: "Of course- a proper title for an Idol such as myself..."

Laurer: "Yes, yes...my question is simple: Do you feel that your run as the Miss TNA champion is more or less inspirational than my glorious run as the WWE Women's Champion? Which do you feel is a more noble title reign for young girls to look up to?"

Richter: "Well, your title reign was something I looked up to, of course..."

Laurer: "Oh really? What was the most inspirational portion of it?"

Richter: "Well, it really taught me that a woman is completely in the right if she TAKES HER BALL AND GOES HOME if she doesn't like an angle!"

Laurer: "I can't believe it...I thought you were a beacon of everything good, and then you attack ME? Someone who is a true paragon of beauty, an inspiration to all young girls out there? Luckily, I have more class than you..."

Richter: "Yeah, yeah...I've had too many friends spend 'Nights in Chyna' for that to be the truth..."

Laurer: "Big talk, coming from someone who's called Dunkin' Donuts due to all the Rhode Island workers who've been inside her..."

Richter: "LIAR! BAKA! MEANY!" Laurer then attacked Richter as a match began...

(68)

(Non-Title Match) Jocelyn Richter v. Joanie Laurer

Well, this was a natural piss-break. It's almost disappointing- I've heard that Jocelyn Richter's actually an insanely good worker, and just keeps getting held back by these poor opponents that they give her. The match was almost perfect in it. For a women's match, it was passable (possibly the result of Richter's skills), but the crowd was not into it. The only thing that could have made this work is if Laurer did the obvious thing and passed the torch to the new generation of women's wrestling. However, even that wasn't good enough, as Goldylocks ran in and attacked Richter, allowing Laurer to get a Rear Naked Choke Drop on her to get the victory. Well, all in all, a mixed bag...

(59, 63, 61)

(NWA World) Jeff Jarrett v. Shane Douglas

Okay...question. Why is Shane Douglas getting NWA Title shots? Didn't he throw down that title and signal ECW's creation...you know, a defining moment in his career? Well, apparently TNA doesn't care about these little things, so why should we fans? Eh, who cares...the match was good, so it was a definite plus either way. Jarrett and Douglas put on a good show (well, despite being a senseless match between two heels), ending up as one of the better matches throughout the whole of this. The end result seemed fairly predictable: Jarrett uses his MAGICAL OWNER'S SON POWER~! to defeat Douglas and retain the belt. After the match, Jarrett celebrated...until Jerry Lynn ran in and attacked him! Lynn took the mic...

Lynn: "You've been ducking me for too long, Jarrett- I'm going to take that title of yours!"

(58, 83, 70)

Meanwhile, I was getting ready for the wOw show. Luckily, Shane had gotten me his code for No Mercy, so I proceeded to tune to wwe.com for the Net broadcast. I got in just as the International Heat main event started...