The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That Thursday, I was ready to rock. I had heard that I was going to get put on the card for my first "official" TNA match (apparently, they don't consider America's X-Cup matches in the fed), so I was ready for anything...at least, until I got the news...

"You want me to handle the main event?"

Jerry Jarrett: "Yeah- we feel XPlosion should go back to its original spot, so we just need a mid-level main event. We feel that you should be the person to take the spot here..."

"Cool...who am I against?"

Vince Russo: "You'll be against Evans...that'll be RATINGZZZ!" What? They're putting me against my best pal...on XPLOSION? Hell, in Rhode Island that'd be a PPV main event...

"Awesome...I'll be ready to kick some ass out there..."Hey, TNA's a big-time place, I'm not going to complain...

TNA XPLOSION

Your hosts are Dave Meltzer and Jocelyn Richter.

John Walters v. John Roche

Meltzer: "This'll be a good match- the undefeated John Walters is ready to put another notch in his win column!"

Richter: "Don't count his opponent out, Meltzer: John Roche is a talented wrestler who'd be able to put on a good show against him!"

Match: Well, the great push of John Walters as TNA's Goldberg is not working...the crowd was totally DEAD in this matchup, totally going against both people. However, this was somewhat unfair, the two were actually an okay matchup. Roche and Walters didn't do too badly, putting on what was a little bit of a styles clash with Walters' technical skill and Roche's brawling, but didn't do too poorly. However, in an attempt to add a reaction here, Goldylocks distracted Roche, allowing Walters to roll him up and get the win. Pretty poor- Walters needs to go into "generic guy" mode soon...

(19, 75, 47)

After that, a montage of the Super-X Tournament was shown, showing most of the major moments: Teddy Hart and Jason Cross victories, Tom Goddard's big debut, and finally peaking with Jason Cross holding up the Super-X Trophy as Jerry Lynn, The Amazing Red, and Chris Sabin held the America's X-Cup!

Richter: "What a moment for NWATNA, as Team TNA finally held up the X-Cup after a great Super-X Tournament! I know I was on the edge of my seat when Cross got that big victory!"

Meltzer: "Yeah, yeah- we all know who YOU were cheering for..."

Richter: "What...do you mean? I'm a good girl...tee hee..."

Meltzer: "Keep telling yourself that..."

Richter: "Meany..."

America's X-Cup match: Lynn and Red (Team TNA) v. Hart Foundation 2k3 (Team Canada)

WOW. Just...WOW. THIS was the type of match I've been expecting to come all of the time in America's X-Cup matches. Lynn, Red, and Hart are the real deal, but I was surprised Evans was able to hold his own- he's always been a little overrated IMO. The teams managed to put on an awesome matchup, mixing well together and with their opponents to make a MOTY candidate. Lynn managed to hit a Cradle Piledriver on Evans. Teddy Hart tried to interfere, only to be stopped by Amazing Red to assure Team TNA kept their America's X-Cup!

(55, 95, 75)

After the break, a new set was in the ring as an announcer came up...

"And now, NWATNA is proud to present our newest XPlosion talk show: The Joanie Laurer Show!" Just then, Joanie Laurer came into the ring and took the mic...

Laurer: "Hello, TNA fans! Welcome to my brand new TV show, the greatest thing in TNA history! As everyone knows, I've been trying to show the world that true beauty is within, and I can't think of a better way to do that than by holding my own TV show here for NWA:Total Nonstop Action! Now, for my inaugurial guests, I chose two people who need to see the peaceful nature that only a great mediator like me can give them: CM Punk and Raven!" The two headed to the ring from opposite sides as Laurer motioned to them.

Laurer: "Now, I've wanted to talk to each of you. Now, CM Punk, you're currently the NWATNA Tag Team Champion, right?"

Punk: "Yep...I'm representing Straight Edge like...SOME...people can't do here..." Punk glared at Raven as Laurer kept going on...

Laurer: "Yes, straight edge is a necessary thing to really show beauty...I know Jerry Jarrett must respect people who show true beauty to them...almost as much as Vince McMahon did, finding me when no one could see the beauty inside me and making it come to the forefront, making me the truly beautiful person you see today..."

Raven: "...ARE YOU SERIOUS? This person is nothing more than a total sycophant for Jeff Jarrett- doing his dirty work when no one else can..."

Laurer: "Hey...Jeff Jarrett may have some problems, but he had some nice things- after all, he was willing to job the Intercontinental Title to me for the first time, showing a total victory for women everywhere as I, the most necessary icon for young girls everywhere, held up the Intercontinental title, showing the world that young women CAN achieve their dreams..."

Raven: "...I cannot believe this! Jarrett...he holds everyone back, keeping me from my true destiny..."

Laurer: "Come on, Raven...you can appreciate this, you're a former WCW US Champion...you of all people should know the great moment that my winning the Intercontinental Title was..."

Raven: "Oh, this is insane..." Raven then attacked CM Punk as the two started brawling, setting the set over! Laurer then looked at the set...

Laurer: "Why would this happen to me? ME?"

(68)

After the break, Jason Cross headed to the ring carrying his Super-X Tournament trophy...

Cross: "Ladies and gentlemen, I come here tonight as a conquering god!" The crowd cheered. "For too long, Team TNA was unable to get the America's X-Cup. But then, when all seemed lost, I, considered by many the WORST of the TNA Team members, stepped up and brought the America's X-Cup home to the United States!"

Meltzer: "He's right- that was a major feather in his cap..."

Cross: "Yet, I've gotten more problems from this. People claim I don't deserve this- not like Red, or Lynn, or Sabin. Newsflash: They can't win the big one! Only I am able to get that Cup for YOU people!" The crowd started giving scattered boos... "You think I'm not what I say I am? I'll challenge ANY America's X-Cup competitor for Sunday's PPV and PROVE I'm all I say I am!" Just then, a voice came out... "What about FORMER team members?" Just then, Sonjay Dutt's TNA theme hit as he came out to the ring!

Meltzer: " I don't believe this! Sonjay Dutt's back in TNA!"

Richter: "I had heard he was under contract in Minneapolis!"

Meltzer: "Oh, really? And just WHO would give you THAT info?"

Richter: "Um...the Internet?"

Meltzer: "...You win THIS round..."

Dutt: "Hold up now, Jason Cross. I keep hearing about you holding that Super-X Title, that America's X-Cup, but you only got those chances because I had better things to do. Well, now I am back and am ready to show you that I deserve my spot on TNA before you!" Cross and Dutt stared each other down as XPlosion went to break...

(61)

After the break, I was set. I saw Steve head over to me...

Steve: "You ready, man?"

"Ready as I'll ever be..."

Steve: "You know, it's crazy- I don't think we've faced off in over a year..."

"Well, I think we can manage this..." I heard Evans's theme music hit out there as he headed out to the ring...

Meltzer: "This is a big matchup...apparently, Steve Evans is unhappy that his spot in the Super-X Tournament was taken by force, so he's decided to attack the replacement..."

Richter: "I would be angry too... I mean, he ruined my pool for the Super-X Tournament..." I heard my own theme music hit as I started mincing out...

Meltzer: "And here's Evans's replacement- this guy Tom Goddard made a big splash at the Super-X Tournament, managing a Semifinal appearance!"

Richter: "KYAHHHHHHH! He's so cute!!!!!"

Meltzer: "I thought you already KNEW what he looked like?"

Richter: "What ARE you talking about? He's a newcomer to TNA-I haven't seen him before in my life..."

Meltzer:"SURE...so you keep your eyes closed that much?"

Richter: "Meany..."

Tom Goddard v. Steve Evans

WOW...now, THIS is the match I expected from Tom Goddard in the Super-X. Maybe it's proof it was an off-night, maybe Goddard finally proved he deserves his spot here, maybe it was just an off-shoot of Goddard and Evans's IRL friendship, but this was an awesome matchup. The two totally meshed in the ring, making each other look amazing and leading to another potential MOTN candidate. Evans tried to set Goddard up for a Top-Rope Tiger Driver, but Goddard reversed it into a Top-Rope Hurricanrana, then locked in a nice Queen Angelito Stretch (that Jocelyn Richter sold as the Final Fantasy) to get Evans to tap out! After the match, Evans attempted to attack Goddard...until the lights went out! When they came back, Steve Evans was covered in glitter in the ring as Goddard showed up on the TNATron...

Goddard: "The bond of blood and glitter rings true still...soon, young Stephen will be mine..."

Richter: "What could that mean?"

Meltzer: "Maybe you're not man enough for him, so to speak..."

Richter: "You're just jealous because you can't get a girlfriend..."

(56, 90, 73)

Over: 66

After the match, me and Steve were backstage talking about the match. Jocelyn soon went backstage to talk...

Jocelyn: "Good show...what next?"

"Only thing that we CAN do...to Rhode Island!"

All: "YEAH!" We quickly headed to the Goddardmobile as we headed off to tomorrow's show as a "wOw" logo showed up on screen...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next day, I was almost dead from the amount of driving. I had much more respect for Steve and Jocelyn's having to do this ride regularly, and began to dread the way I'd have to go from here, to Minneapolis, to Nashville, and so on each day. I proceeded to get there a little more tired than usual, but got ready to work this...

"Hold up...this isn't serious- I'm facing WHO tonight?"

Robbie: "Hey, I think it could be a good matchup..."

"I see. Well, I'll give it a try- fair warning, matches like this NEVER get over..." I proceeded to wait around as Flagship started out...

wOw Flagship

Your hosts are Madison Carter and Gristleizer.

As the show started, Sherlock Homeless and NYPD Jew were already in the ring...

NYPD Jew: "You know- this is a little hard and all...it's like...Detective Chris Hamrick was like our leader and something- but now, now we have to keep wrestling without him around and stuff..."

Sherlock Homeless: "Wassat? You think foul play happened?"

NYPD Jew: "No, no- that guy Doring tried to take him out...but now, you and I will fight through wOw, and teach that guy that the wOw Police Department's nothing to mess with, all right?"

Sherlock Homeless: "Um...uh...SPARE SOME CHANGE SO I CAN GO GET LOADED?"

NYPD Jew: "After the match, okay..." Just then, a J-Pop theme song hit as Team OTAKU headed to the ring!

Team OTAKU v. wOw Police Department

Carter: "This is a big return for Team OTAKU- after a surprisingly long injury for Tiga, they're ready to make their way into the wOw Tag Team Ranks!"

Gristleizer: "Don't count out the wOw Police Department- they've definitely got the skills..."

Match: Ye GADS, this sucked. These two teams just did not mesh at all. Add to that the fact that these two had huge amounts of ring rust and Sherlock Homeless is a very poor wrestler, combined with the fact that Sherlock Homeless and the current NYPD Jew [who my sources are claiming is currently being played by former CZW wrestler GQ instead of the reported Christian Eckstein] never teamed together before, and this match was a train wreck in the making. At the very least, the two put on their bad match early to get it out of their system. However, the wOw Police Department took the advantage. Just as Sherlock Homeless went to set NYPD Jew up to hit a Case Closed on Mamoru-kun, a girl ran out of the back and hit Homeless with an uppercut to the crotch! Mamoru-kun then yelled out, "MAMORU-KUN KICK!" and laid a nice Superkick on NYPD Jew, allowing Team OTAKU to get the win! After the match, the two took the mic...

Tiga: "Ha! Now you Americans will see our final weapon! Triple H attacked with the might of Chyna, the Revolution attacked with the might of Asya, now Team OTAKU will fight with the might of OSAKA!"

Osaka: "Hai..."

(28, 57, 42)

Jack Evans v. The Phantom

The Phantom is apparently some guy who watches too many musicals, trying to pull off a Phantom of the Opera gimmick here- not bad...at least it's more original than Jack "Slim Shady wannabe #4858428 on the Indies"... The match, however, was unspectacular. The Phantom looked like he had some talent, and Evans always delivers the goods, but the two didn't really seem to meld that well. The ending was almost evil for wrestling, as Jack Evans did the J-O-B for this Phantom guy, the result of a Scissors Kick followed by a Tiger Driver from the top rope (impressive that they would allow the Phantom to do that move- I could have sworn that wOw would force the latter move to be Goddard's domain only...) to get the pinfall. Not too bad- I wouldn't dislike seeing either in the ring again...preferably not together, though, since they just don't mesh.

(24, 68, 46)

After the match, Robbie Richter brought out a pair of title belts that looked somewhat in disuse for years, and took the mic...

Richter: "After 13 years, wOw is finally ready to have Women's Tag Team Champions again! Now, let's see the two lucky teams to have a chance to gain the titles..." After that, HamaKino and the Tokyo Sweethearts headed to the ring for their shot to become the first champions since 1991!

HamaKino v. The Tokyo Sweethearts

I would say this was "one of those nights" for everyone, but that doesn't really work when you have subpar matches. This time, the two teams just didn't work as well as I'd hoped together. I know wOw's trying to get a more established women's division, but come on: wOw got its American base on its ability to push women as both workers and characters. Doing stuff like this just makes wOw seem more like some...lesser federations who just throw two talented women out there and make them fight for no apparent reason. When it's a title match, that's not a good thing as well. The match was pretty blah- Manami Toyota got AKINO up, Ocean Cyclone Suplex, we have Women's Tag Team Champions. Nothing special, but still the match of the night so far...not saying much, I know...

(55, 68, 61)

After the break, the camera cut to a shot of the wOw World Heavyweight Title as Tom Goddard was in back with Steve Evans and Jocelyn Richter. Suddenly, Sharon Goddard came over...

Sharon: "So, Tom- did you see that last match?"

"I guess...wasn't too bad, you know?..."

Sharon: "You know- I remember back in the old days of wOw, the women's division was so well respected that the male wOw World Champions would frequently defend their belt against female challengers..."

"I see...what are you getting at? Are you challenging me?"

Sharon: "Of course not...not yet, anyway. I just feel that, if you really want to be the next great champion of whacked Out wrestling, you should go out there tonight and defend that belt against a woman!"

"Oh, come on...how's fighting women supposed to make me a great champion? If anything, won't it devalue the belt...?"

Sharon: "What? Are you scared of a girl? CHICKEN..." Tom Goddard shot a dirty look at Sharon...

"Nobody calls me chicken and gets away with it...okay, I will!" Tom Goddard then turned to his right... "Jocelyn...tonight you..."

Sharon: "Oh, no... none of that weak stuff... tonight, you're fighting a woman of MY choosing...later!" Tom Goddard looked slightly worried as wOw went to break...

57U v. Butterbean

When COMEDY WRESTLERS COLLIDE~! This was a case where I wasn't sure how these two comedy wrestlers would mesh: the acts of the two clashed two badly. However, by a purely wrestling standpoint, the skill of 57U managed to pull Butterbean to a decent matchup. The match also managed to mix their comedy: Butterbean started squashing, 57U grabbed T3h K36, T3h K36 distracted Butterbean, who began drinking- only to have 57U punch Butterbean in the navel, causing him to drop, giving 57U the win. After the match, though, Butterbean went berzerk, attacking the referee with a barrage of punches! Butterbean then grabbed T3h K36, and pulling a page from Mr.T's moveset, threw it helluva far! 57U checked on T3H K36's condition as Flagship went to break!

(39, 60, 49)

Cancer Boy v. TJ Wilson

Okay...WHY is Zach Gowen still employed by WWE? Gowen needs a lot of work before he can be considered passable, and needs to work past the "WWE style" curse his work has gotten. TJ Wilson, however, is...well, overrated, but still... Anyway, the match: These two managed to not mesh well at all, with Cancer Boy's bad high-flying not working with Wilson's overall work. TJ Wilson, naturally, got the advantage, and set Cancer Boy up for a Code Blue- only to be kicked in the head! When he came to, he saw two things: Cancer Boy up for a Moon Child-Sault, and Chuck Palumbo standing over him! Cancer Boy got the three, as TJ Wilson got pissed off. Wilson grabbed Palumbo and attacked as Flagship went to its final break...

(61, 61, 60)

After the break, I headed to the ring. Hopefully, this will fly here- I doubt inter-gender matches really work well. I grabbed the mic, and tried desperately to sell it...

"Well, this is just great. My own sister refuses one of my best friends a World Title shot..."

(great- we're 'Just friends' even on camera...*sigh*")

"...and then says I have to fight some mystery female? Well, who will it be? Do your worst, sis! NO ONE says I don't treat this belt with the utmost respect, and lives to tell the tale!" Just then, Sharon came out and took another mic...

Sharon: "Don't worry, Tom...as a Caring Sister..." The crowd booed at that remark... "I was going to make sure you got a fair match- someone who wouldn't cause you too much of a problem...but then I realized: You know what? You're grown up, you're the wOw World Champion- you can take care of yourself. So without further ado, your opponent: AJA KONG!" Crud... I hate wrestling women who can kick my ass...

(wOw World) Tom Goddard v. Aja Kong

Match: I'm surprised. This is an example of how Tom Goddard's basically vanilla skill really works: The fact that Goddard almost never gives you a ***** match, but at the same time could easily carry a broomstick to a *** match worked well here, as even the worst of his matches would still be one of the better inter-gender matches. This led a match that had the dreaded I word to seem good, as well as the total style clash between godlike female brawler Kong and high-flyer Goddard. The two managed to have a fairly decent matchup as a whole, leading to one of the best inter-gender matches I've seen around. As expected, Goddard got the win, but then...I was as shocked as you- Harry Smith RAN IN on Goddard and attacked! SMELL THE ORIGINALITY~! Nothing too bad, and definitely worth seeing.

(61, 76, 68)

Overall: 56

(About here is the spot when EWBIII ended. I tried moving wOw Memorial v 2.1 to the Dome, but once EWBIII came back as Read-Only, I felt adding the previous stuff to here was more necessary. Either way, wOw Memorial's on track to go back to new episodes when I get back to school in a couple weeks...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next Saturday, I felt a little disoriented. It almost felt for a second as if all my history was wiped away, and they had to give only little snippets of it to the people. I tried to tell myself not to drink anything Matt LaPlaca gave me again as I tried to rest up for that night's AWA PPV... (Considering this was the first one being reposted from EWBIV [which I assume was allowed at last check while I get this all involved], this was needed...)

AWA Underground

X-Foundation v. Abismo Negro and Mosco de la Merced

Well, this was not as good as I had hoped. When you put two nameless luchadores with a popular West Coast tag team, that's supposed to equal a spotfest...right? Wrong, apparently, as these two did not mesh as well as I had hoped it would. The teams only put on a halfway decent matchup- not good for a tag team match, really. For some reason, I always notice the tag matches were better than this in the future. X-Foundation got the win...nothing special, move along here...

(32, 73, 52)

After that break, Who and Chris Kanyon came to the ring carrying their AWA Global Tag Team Titles. Just then, Tom Green's voice came over the AWATron... "...Like...like basketball players...and...and Greeks...YOU KNOW, MEN FROM GREECE?" "Grease" then hit as the Men From Greece came to the ring, this time with Nico wearing short tights and Stavros wearing their traditional Greek garb...

Who: Betta Than Kanyon v. The Men From Greece

Match: Well,this actually worked fairly well,for the most part. For some reason, it seems like Who and Kanyon are beginning to mesh better, leading to workable matches between the two. However, I'd say that's less from their own gelling and more from the Men From Greece carrying Neidhart's past-his-prime ass. Who tried to distract the referee while Chris Kanyon worked over Nico...only to have Stavros take off his Greek battle dress to reveal identical tights! Stavros passed the dress to Nico, who put it on, allowing Stavros to run in and attack! Stavros then hit a Big Fat Greek Suplex on Kanyon, getting the titles!

(46,80, 63)

Knight: "NO! Those wOw punks have just stolen the AWA Global Tag Team Titles!"

After the match, the Men From Greece celebrated. Nico grabbed a Greek flag from a fan as the two clutched the flag and their newly-won Tag Titles!

Ironwood v. Fidel Sierra

Well, this was almost a piss-break in a match...it's a shame, I'm usually a fan of Ironwood's work, to be honest. However, Fidel Sierra was not the right opponent for him to really shine. The match was only good, nowhere near what I'd hope for either one. Ironwood got the win, though- a good thing, since if AWA really wanted to do stuff with wOw guys, Ironwood'd be a good one to do it...

(47, 71, 59)

After the break, I headed out to the ring. I knew that now more than ever, I'd need to get this feud over. Here goes nothing...

"Ladies and gentlemen, I come out here to clear up some misconceptions. Now, I've heard all around that Christopher Daniels and myself have bad blood: You know, the 'AWA/wOw thing', the 'You took me out for 5 months you son-of-a-bitch thing', and all those other things. However, I feel that these are unfair, and to clear it up, I'd like to announce that someone's here to help out. I give you, the AWA fans: CURRY MAN!" Just then, a midget dressed up as Curry Man came to the ring!

"Now, Curry Man...I know you're the AWA World Champion...just HOW did you manage to do it so well?"

Fake Curry Man: "I'M HOT!"

"Yes, you're certainly on fire in the ring. But why would you call yourself Curry Man, really? "

FCM: "I'M SPICY!"

"I see...well, curry is certainly spicy... but what about curry? I know about curry's taste, texture...but it's color?"

FCM: "I'M YELLOW!"

"Well, I can certainly see that fairness-I mean, why else would you keep trying to duck the rightful number-one contender to your title, the AWA East Coast Champion, Harry Potsmoker! Curry Man, why would you keep ducking me, the rightful number-one contender?"

FCM: "MY WHITE THING IS A HALF-INCH LONG!"

"Well, I can see that...you're just jealous that I am the Biggest Thing in Rhode Island, so you don't want to get in the ring. Is there anything else you need to let these AWA fans know?"

FCM: "I WANT TO BE IN YOUR MOUTH! PUT ME IN YOUR MOUTH!"

"Are you some sick freak? I do not want to put you in my mouth, Curry Man..."

FCM: "But...I'M HOT! I'M SPICY! I TASTE GREAT!"

"I see. Well, we might need to wrap this up...anything else for these fans to know?"

FCM: "Harry Potsmoker is ICHIBANNNN!!!!"

(92)

Tom Howard v. Jimmy Snuka Jr.

I'm honestly surprised by this match. For once, someone carried Jimmy Snuka Jr. to a good matchup. Of course, it's Tom Howard, someone who has been putting on awesome matches left and right in AWA, but still...I'm keeping with it. For once, the match was really good, so I don't care on these. The only problem was the ending, as Mike Sullivan ran in and caused a no-contest for this. Not a bad match,and if it causes more Sullivan/Howard matches, it'll be a good thing...

(50, 83, 66)

After the break, the National Women's Title was lowered to the ring as Jamie Kogyaru and Sharon Goddard prepared for their ladder matchup...

[Meanwhile, in back...]

(Alex Shelley: Hey, Tom- you going to cheer for anyone in this matchup? *please cheer for Jamie- I don't want your sister to beat me up again...*)"

"(Sure...I'd rather cheer for Jamie anyways...)"

Shelley: "(Okay...I'll send it over...)"

Result: Jamie: "(Aww...you're cheering me over your own sister...that's sweet, Tom!" [LOVE-LOVE INCREASE])"

Jamie Kogyaru v. Sharon Goddard

Well, if this is the end of their AWAMLW feud, this is the best way to do it. These two put on a match that, by women's standards, is nothing short of phenomenal. I still have no reason to see how it occurs: On paper, their styles clash. However, they always seem to work. Goddard just punished Kogyaru, who sold it like death. Suddenly, Goddard went for a LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!, but Kogyaru moved out of the way and hit a Panty Flash on her! Kogyaru moved up the ladder, only to have Goddard keep attacking. The two finally kept going for it. Sharon Goddard grabbed a second ladder and went for her own attack. However, Kogyaru jumped off her ladder and hit a Japanese Schoolgirl Pin,sending Goddard off the ladder. Kogyaru then climbed up, getting the National Women's Title for the victory!

Winner: (NEW National Women's Champion): Jamie Kogyaru

(60.77.68)

After the match...

Jamie:"Well,I think that feud worked really well...once again, Sharon- it was a pleasure..."

Sharon: "The pleasure's all mine, Jamie...good show out there." (Yeah...our AWAMLW feud ended. I knew this would happen...soon enough, our wOw feud will end, and I'll have done our part. I'll have gotten her over, and we'll have no real reason to hang out. We'll just be strangers again...*sigh* Just perfect strangers...)

Jamie: "What's on your mind?"

Sharon: "Nothing...just going over the next match in my head, you know?" (Come on, Sharon- you've got your woman...you have the one you love. You don't need another...you're happy with your girlfriend...right?)

Jerry Lynn v. Bryan Danielson

WOW. Sometimes, you just know two people are going to put on a nice show. These two are naturally going to do this. The match was pretty par for the course- i.e. Match of the Year Candidate. The two's styles melded, leaving it with an awesome match. Jerry Lynn got the victory here- surprising, since he just got out of a feud. Eh, with a match like this, who cares?

(73, 100, 86)

(AWA East Coast)Harry Potsmoker v. Ken Shamrock

Okay...this was less a match and more a beatdown. Ken Shamrock just attacked Potsmoker with UFC-caliber beatdowns, just stiffing Potsmoker with ruthless aggression. Potsmoker tried to fight, but really-if Shamrock's stiffing you, all you can do is just take it, for the most part. The only problem that surprised me was the end, as Christopher Daniels attacked Potsmoker viciously while Shamrock had Potsmoker in an Ankle Lock, turning a sure-fire win into a draw. I don't think they cared,as Daniels and Shamrock kept attacking Potsmoker as the show ended.

(69, 77, 63)

Over: 73

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next day, Jared Steele and his newfound 'friends' were having some problems in the city limits of the IWA-MS show...

Hardy: "Okay, this is where the fun will begin. It's been a month since you started your little gimmick, I wouldn't be surprised if everyone the real Redemption Crew's got working for them know all about this stuff. Don't be surprised if there's some attacks going down."

Steele: "I get it...we're doomed..."

Nevada: "One question- Jared...if we get through tonight and don't get killed..."

Steele: "Yes...?"

Nevada: "Try NOT to get me involved with any of your gimmicks again, okay? I've had enough of having people try to kill me..."

Steele: "I can't promise I'll try...but I'll try to try...k?" The three headed over towards the show...

Nevada: "Out of curiosity- can we stop at that McDonald's? I have this little superstition- gotta eat a Big Mac before my match, ya know?"

Steele: "Your funeral- go ahead..."

Hardy: "We've got a bunch of crazed censors and Hyne-knows how many wrestlers trying to kill all three of us. Somehow, I doubt a little saturated fat's going to be Vance's biggest concern..."

Steele: "Okay, okay...I'm going to use the bathroom while he's there." ("MCDONALD'S IS A FUN PLACE TO POOP AT..." Joseph Smith, I HATE these interlopers to my team of assistants...)

Hardy: "Suit yourself..." Steele headed into the bathroom while Ms.Hardy waited. Just then, Hardy got surprised...well, with the sight of a girl ripping the door off of their car...

Hardy: "Dammit...now my insurance will skyrocket..." The girl then headed over...

Girl: "Target confirmed...Subversive female, against Redemption Crew Actions-

set to destroy..."

Hardy: "Oh, great...robot girls at this time of day? Just our luck..."

Girl: "Feel the wrath of the Redemption Crew's top killing machine, MICKIE-KNUCKLES..."

Battle Mode: Ms.Hardy v. MICKIE-KNUCKLES

Hardy Attack Mode: FIGHT/MAGIC/ITEM/RUN- FIGHT Just then, Hardy proceeded to attack MICKIE-KNUCKLES, not doing a lot of damage...

MICKIE-KNUCKLES: "Ha ha...humans' attacks tickle... "POWER: FIERCE ATTACK Just then, Knuckles went on a large, violent attack to Hardy. The two proceeded to trade off attacks. Just then, Jared came out of the building...

Jared: "Hold up...looks like it's time for me to use some of the stuff you taught me..."Steele Attack Mode: FIGHT/MAGIC/ITEM/RUN- Magic: THUNDER Just then, Jared Steele tried to summon a bolt of lightning (but could only manage a really strong burst of static electricity) to hit MICKIE-KNUCKLES. Surprisingly, this was enough to short MICKIE-KNUCKLES out!

Hardy: "How'd you think of that?"

Steele: "In all the video games I played, lightning attacks tend to work well on machines- I just assumed it'd be the same in real life..."

Hardy: "I'm impressed...maybe you're not that stupid... [LOVE-LOVE INCREASED] What was that?"

Steele: "Oh, just something one of my friends taught me..."

Hardy: "Well, we'd better get out of here- you've got your matches." Hardy grabbed the robot and put it in the trunk of the car as Vance Nevada walked out of the McDonald's...

Nevada: "What happened here?"

Hardy: "LONG story..."

(Super-Deformed Reflecto Moment: In the game, this match was a (19, 45, 32)- Not-So-Common Knowledge for whacked Out wrestling Memorial Readers...) (Hey, just because it's a RPG-styled out-of-event fight doesn't mean it can't be simulated in EWR... )

After that, the three headed out to the IWA-MS arena for the night's show.

Hardy: "I'll be out here for a bit- I don't want to risk going into a place swarming with Redemption Crew members..." Jared Steele and Vance Nevada walked into the arena carrying their title belts, which soon turned to the two WALKING~! as the show started...

In the ring, Jimmy Jacobs and Alex Shelley were waiting (Hold up...weren't they opponents just last show? Eh- I sincerely doubt IWA-MS is trying to have any continuity...) The two took the mic...

Jacobs: "HUSS! HUSS!"

Shelley: "What my esteemed colleague means of course is, we're tired of being treated like second-class citizens here! IWA-MS has been a hotbed of the best wrestlers in the Midwest for years, and all of a sudden it's just become a second-rate indy fed? That's not going to happen on our watch!"

Jacobs: "We'll take on any person in the back who wants to see what the Indies really have to offer here in the Midwest!" Just then, some circus music came on as two clowns came out to the ring, handing balloons to the fans at ringside...

Jacobs and Shelley v. The Happy Clowns

The Happy Clowns are former WWE "superstar" Doink the Clown and...am I reading this right?...former XPW star Pogo the Clown? WHY THE HELL would IWA-MS give Pogo the Clown a happy clown gimmick? Oh...wait...they're apparently trying to torture the fans...my mistake... Well, if they were trying to, this was a good way. Doink and Pogo just didn't mesh at all here, with Doink's old-school style and Pogo's insane brawling not serving to match up. It's a shame, since I've been a big fan of Jacobs and Shelley's work together. To add to the pain, Pogo the Clown got the win with a Closed Casket Crunch (that they sold as the Clown Car Crunch for some reason...). Nothing to see here...

(30, 68, 49)

Meanwhile, in the back, Jared Steele had separated from Vance Nevada...only to be accosted...

Hawk Younkins: "Aww...your little friends left you alone? Perfect...well, for me, anyways..."

Jared Steele v. Hawk Younkins

Steele: ATTACK/MAGIC/ITEM/RUN: Attack Jared attempted to attack Hawk, but nothing was working.

Hawk: POWER: Evil Face Just then, Hawk locked an Evil Face on Jared Steele, causing him to be paralyzed with fear. Hawk then proceeded to attack Steele relentlessly until the effects wore off...

Steele: ATTACK/MAGIC/ITEM/RUN: Magic: Ice Jared Steele then tried to match it up, but was only able to muster a few snowballs to attack Hawk.

Hawk: POWER: Evil Face Hawk then locked the Evil Face on Steele again, causing him to be paralyzed again. Just as Hawk tried to attack, though, Vance Nevada came down and saw his teammate being attacked!

Nevada: POWER- SCISSORS KICK Just then, Vance Nevada hit Hawk with a stiff Scissors Kick, which was enough to leave Hawk dazed.

Nevada: ATTACK/MAGIC/ITEM/RUN: ITEM- Chocolate Bar Vance Nevada then proceeded to go to the vending machine and get a Hershey bar for Steele, helping calm him enough to fight again.

Steele: "Thanks, Vance. Now, to finish this..."POWER- DONE DEAL Steele then managed to hit a nice Done Deal on Hawk, leaving him sprawled out.

Steele: "Let's get out of here!" The two ran off, looking for a safe place before their match...

(in game: 50, 63, 56)

The New Nasty Boys v. The New Too Cool

Okay...apparently, IWA-MS hasn't learned the first rule of booking: Billing a team as "The New (___________)" Never gets over. The New Too Cool's apparently Grandmaster Sexay joined with whacked Out wrestling prospect Sugar Man, while The New Nasty Boys are Brian Knobs with Brad Hunter, an indy worker I haven't seen enough of to pass judgement on. The teams, as expectable with something like this...did NOT mesh. Knobs and Grandmaster were never anything to write home about to begin with, while their "NEW" partners didn't help at all: Sugar Man's work had more missing spots than an albino dalmatian, while Hunter didn't give me any workrate-related reasons to care about him. The match was fairly standard, finishing with Hunter hitting a NEW Pit Stop (basically the same as the OLD Pit Stop) on Sugar Man to get the win. All in all, a horrible tag match.

(39, 54, 46)

The Redemption Crew v. The New Divine Squadron

Okay...is IWA-MS TRYING to kill its tag team division? I can "possibly" see why they'd bill the New Nasty Boys and the New Too Cool (even though they'd have no chance of getting over.) However, the New Divine Squadron doesn't work as well, seeing that I had never known who the Old Divine Squadron was in the first place. Only a quick check of virtually all my indy-mark friends told me how the Divine Squadron was originally a somewhat decent whacked Out wrestling team featuring Kevin Killgore and current WWE star Shane Goddard, and this is apparently Killgore's first match with a new teammate in Ben Vincent....which no one cared about. Sadly, the match was DOA due to this, which was sad: It was actually a MOTN- thus far. Steele, Killgore, and Vincent had enough experience together so they could actually do some stuff, and Vance Nevada was able to hold his own with the three. The ending did fairly well, with Killgore and Vincent trying to hit a Divine Intervention on Nevada, only to have Jared Steele grab Killgore in mid-air and hit a Done Deal on him, allowing the Redemption Crew to keep their titles. After the match, Steele and Nevada celebrated...only to have the Boogie Knights run in and attack them! I assume this is the newest feud for them...not too terrible, from what I've seen...

(34, 78, 56)

After the break, the Redemption Crew members made a beeline for the back...

Steele: "Yikes...do you see Drake and Tobin in back of us?"

Nevada: "I think they stayed out in the ring..."

Steele: "This is bad. I think it's safe to think that if they come out and attack us in our matches, assume they're Redemption Crew until proven otherwise, ya know?"

Nevada: "I get what you're saying..." The two hid, only to be accosted by Kenny King...

King: "So, you two are the famous Redemption Crew?"

Steele: "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up- going to tell your Tough Enough crony where we are?" Suddenly, King looked a little down...

King: "That's what you think? That's the absolute opposite of what I need you guys for..."

Nevada: "Then what?" King then proceeded to look at the two of them...

King: "I need you two to get Hawk back..."

Steele:"Huh? You think it'll be easy for us to get the guy who's trying to kill us back?"

King: "That's the thing, man. I mean, I know you're cool enough to do it- I've heard good things from Matt and Anni about your skills, Jared. I had been keeping in touch with most of the TE2 peeps beforehand. When Hawk said he was going to try to get into IWA-MS, I thought that'd be a good place: I heard good things about it, so I tried to see if he could get me a place there. When TNA offered me a shot, I knew I'd be in the area, so I checked on getting booked there. Only problem- when I next saw Hawk, I knew he had changed. It was like- whatever had happened here, he was a different person entirely. I think this 'Redemption Crew' thing has brainwashed the guy, and I don't want that. I want my buddy back...can you help me?" [TOUCHING MOMENT: SEND THIS TO OPRAH...GET US PUT ON THE SURE-FIRE PATH TO THE BEST-SELLER LIST...

*makes sad face*

Assistant: "Pay this boy to write...")

Nevada: "Well, I can't promise we'll try...but we'll try to try, okay?"

Steele: "Hey, that's my line!"

King: "Thanks..." Kenny King had left the two to hide as the show continued on. Eventually, Ms.Hardy showed up...

Hardy: "Your match is done- let's get the fuck out of here. Let's go!" However, despite this, Jared was much more shocked by what was behind her...

Steele: "Um...isn't that the robot that tried to kill you earlier?"

MICKIE-KNUCKLES: "Why's Jared being so mean to me, Missy? Can't he give a cute, innocent little robot like me a second chance?"

Hardy: "I was able to rework it- change a bit of the data. She's relatively harmless...well, at least to us..."

MICKIE-KNUCKLES: "Yep! MICKIE-KNUCKLES version 2.0 at your service!"

Steele: "I don't trust it...but I assume I'll let it pass. Just remember: You cross us, and I'll shock you into next week...okay?"

MICKIE-KNUCKLES: "I'd like to see a neophyte to magic like you try..."

Hardy: "Sorry...I just had to program a few things into her- make it a bit stronger, you know?"

Nevada: "Okay. Let's go..."

Hardy: "I assume all those...'Wrestling Marks' out there want the rest of the show, so let me hack into the IWA Results site...

<<Gate 1- Password: Reflectowenthome>>

ACCEPTED

<<Gate 2- Password: NoNetconnection>>

ACCEPTED

<<Gate 3- Password: Summertoolong>>

ACCEPTED

<<Gate 4- Password: ForjustDeadReflectoDays>>

ACCEPTED

<<Gate 5- Password: GiveustheresultsReflecto'stoolazytowriteup>>

ACCEPTED. Welcome to the IWA-MS Booking Page...

Rock and Roll Express defeat Demolition (47, 81, 64)

Ryan Wing defeats Air Paris to retain the IWA Light Heavyweight Title (35, 91, 63)

Rick Steiner defeats Marty Jannetty (61, 55, 59)

Jake Roberts defeats Big Bossman (34, 63, 48)

Overall: 55

Thank you for entering IWA-Mid South, a division of the Redemption Crew...

Nevada: "Woah...that's some good tech skills..."

Hardy: "Like I said- there's a lot about me you don't know..." The four left the arena and headed out. Meanwhile, in Nashville, our "major" hero was having some problems of his own- though, on a rather lower-scale than Jared's...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That Sunday, I was trying to get through a quick meeting for their plans. Vince Russo was giving me info on what the plan for my promo tonight, which seemed to be working well...until...

"YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT????"

Russo: "Come on! I'm thinking that you'll be able to get this character more over if you do it, and...well, come on, you had to have done it beforehand, didn't you...?"

"I...see...how will this get the character over more?"

Russo: "Trust me- it'll get huge RATINGZZZZ!"

"Okay. Ratingz? I'm only a semi-obscure worker, here..."

Russo: "I see. You won't do it- fine- plenty of others will..."

"Hey, I didn't say I wouldn't- sure. You want me to do it, I'll be happy to."

Russo: "Excellent. It's much better- I had heard you were a bit of a headache..."

"Court?"

Russo: "Yeah- AWA guys are really tearing you one."

"I expected that..."

Russo: "Go out there. I'm expecting XTREME cool stuff! Give us RATINGZZZZZ!"

"Okay, you've got it, sir!"

Russo: "Oh, and don't look like you enjoy it...that'll really further the character..." Okay, now THAT'll pull a wedge into this. I tried to think of how I'd be able to work that last piece as the show started up...

NWA: Total Nonstop Action

John Walters v. Alex Wright

Tenay: "This'll be a great match, Don- the undefeated John Walters will go head to head with the WCW veteran Alex Wright!"

West: "THIS'LL BE A GREAT AWPPUHTUNITY FAW JAWN WAWLTUHS HERE! AWPPUHTUNITY!"

Match: Well, at least now John Walters is giving a reason for his big push here. Surprisingly, he was able to get a decent enough matchup from Wright, someone who IMO is past his prime a little bit. Wright looked like he did back in his peak years, leading to a fairly good matchup here (nothing close to the X-Division they're pushing Wright in, though...) It was just a shame that the crowd didn't buy it, though- Walters doesn't seem to be making an impression with the TNA crowd, despite the push. Walters got the win (of course) with the Sharpshooter. The match seemed normal- until Alex Wright started attacking everything in sight! Wright gained a mic...

Wright: "Is this what you Americans have come to? Some little guy like Walters giving victories over a proud German legend like myself! Never again will I allow this to occur!" (*sniffle* This was supposed to lead to a gimmick change for Wright and at least one other worker in NWATNA, but Wright went and got injured right after this. It'll still occur, but not for 8 months game-time (considering that it was about 100 or so posts for 2 months, don't hold your breath...))

(33, 76, 54)

Hart Foundation 2K3 v. The New Church III [slash/Passion]

I'm surprised...these two teams actually managed to work well together. I thought too much time as just Team Canada members would lead to a culture shock for the Hart Foundation 2k3 as they attempted to crossover, but this actually led to decent matches between the two. Slash and Passion seem to be gelling well together, leading to the match being very good for what it was. The ending was surprising due to this, with Teddy Hart hitting the Triple Bypass on Slash for the win. This should be good- if TNA decides to have the HF2K3 cross over to the regular tag team division, I'd be interested...

(46, 86, 66)

(X-Title)Chris Sabin v. CM Punk

Okay. You've spent the better part of the last few months booking CM Punk as a credible enough heavyweight to tangle with one of your top names, and then you put him in X-Division matches? What's going on there? To add to it, it didn't work as well as it could have: The match was good, but nowhere near the MOTY, career-maker that could help justify it to the people. All it was was a run-of-the-mill good matchup, for the most part. The ending, though...stop me if you've heard this before...CM Punk had the advantage...but then, wait for it...Raven did a RUN-IN! How original is THAT? What booker decided to give that a chance to work again (despite almost everyone using it as an example of these things)? End result, Sabin got the win, retained, we have another page (I refuse to call these "chapters") in the Punk/Raven feud.

(55, 85, 70)

Jonah Edelman v. Don Harris

And now, since TNA doesn't hate its fans enough, we take two sub-par workers and throw them together! This match was...horrific. Edelman's about as good as you'd expect a Tough Enough kid to be, and Don Harris was...well, Don Harris. End result- train wreck. The two didn't put on a good showing at all. Jonah got the win, which both works and doesn't- doesn't work because what are the chances TNA wants to push him, does because anything causing Don Harris to get a loss is a good thing. Pretty poor all around...

(54, 62, 58)

After this, I stayed in the dressing room that they had asked me to enter. I tried to blank things out of my mind as much as possible before this, until I heard the call...

Tenay: "Now, let's go to our roving reporter, Jocelyn Richter, who's apparently waiting on a big interview!"[meanwhile]Richter (Okay, then...calm self- make it look normal...)

(Yikes...)

Richter: "That's right, Mike! I've been waiting back here for a chance to get an interview with Tom Goddard about just what's been going on the last few weeks...but it doesn't seem like he's here..." Here goes nothing... (Sheesh...) I walked out of the door.

Richter: "Mr.Goddard...Mister Goddard...I was just wondering if you could give me a few words about what's been going on recently...why have you been targetting Steve Evans?" (Sheesh...I can never get used to not calling him Tom on camera...)

"Hold up...who are you again?" Gah...it hurts to even pretend to say it...

Richter: "That's not important- what these fans want to know is why Evans has gotten the brunt of your attacks. What makes him so important...?" (Aside from the whole...wOw thing, the tag team partner thing...)

"The beautiful bond of blood and glitter cannot be explained..."Crud...baseball...baseball... "...It does not matter whoever gets this bond- this undeniable need to be with the only X-Division wrestler with Superstardom in his blood, so to speak...the only thing that matters is that they get chosen..."Getting kicked really hard in the groin... "...Soon, anyone who feels the bond is destined to fall- Be they Stephen, be they Jeff Jarrett, be they Sting, be they any one of these...baser people..."Sharon naked on a cold day....Sharon naked on a cold day... "...even if it is you..." Tom Goddard then proceeded to spit a stream of glitter at Jocelyn Richter, then kissed her...

Empty thoughts enough to not care...empty thoughts enough to not look like I care...

Darn it...I don't think I can stop... I felt Jocelyn's arms reach around me. I knew I had to break off of it before I broke character...

"The bond has been created with you, young lady. Now, if you will excuse me...I have a match." I hoped the camera had turned off to stop the people from seeing me almost walking on air... (About here was a huge problem I've found this summer: Namely, the fact that the computers at my local mall [where I do much of my updates for wOw Memorial] have a tendency to eat part of my posts. Since I'm not updating at home and public computers don't use disks, that pretty much means I have to write wOw Memorial posts in the reply box itself [not a big thing, as I rarely if ever have to go past first draft for my work.] This led me to make most of my wOw Memorial posts at the library, where that doesn't happen...)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

I was almost walking on air for the rest of the night. I couldn't remember what had occurred for the whole of that show, virtually having to be told I had apparently put on a MOTN with Jerry Lynn during it. I am not sure what had happened, and chalked it off to just being on such a natural high that you can't think (well, that, or a board error cutting off everything following my promo, but either way...) (...this is a rarity: The one time that an error in posting actually worked in my favor- the timing of it was perfect to really simulate Goddard's head emptying afterwards.) When I came down, I heard a phone call...

Voice: "TOMMY AND JOCELYN, SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!!"

"Oh, hi Shane- I see you saw the PPV..."

Shane: "What gave me away? I was just making conversation..."

"Yeah, sure...uh huh..."

Shane: "Anyways, I was checking if you were on the card tomorrow at Underground..."

"I don't believe I was- why?"

Shane: "Well, Raw's coming to Chicago tomorrow, and they need some people to appear in the background for some segments. If you're not going to Minneapolis, do you want in? It'll be a great opportunity to get your name out there to the WWE..."

"Sure- I could always use it..."

Shane: "Excellent! I'll see you tomorrow..." I hung up the phone as Steve headed over to me...

Steve: "So, what was the news, Tom?"

"Brace yourself- Shane called, he wants to know if we can show up on Raw tomorrow night for backstage stuff..."

Steve: "Oh, cool. Jocelyn said that Brad called her for the same stuff, and I had nothing better to do, so I got put down for it as well..."

"Oh, real nice...and you two didn't ask me?"

Steve: "Well, come on...we didn't know if we could ask, considering how...well, how big it could be if you come..."

"Big...?"

Steve: "Come on, man! Don't tell me that you didn't catch on on this. If you show up on Raw...well, you'll be the first person ever to do it!"

"Do what, exactly? It's just a backstage thing..." Just then, Jocelyn showed up, looking slightly perturbed...

Jocelyn: "Think about it, Tom...Saturday night you worked on the AWA's flagship show. Tonight, you worked on the NWA's flagship show. If you go tomorrow and appear on Raw, the WWE's flagship show, even backstage, you'll be the first person I've heard of that's managed to appear on shows for each of the Big Three in just 72 hours!"

"And this is..."

Steve: "That could be one of the things that solidifies you as THE MAN in indy wrestling, Tom! If you can pull off this big thing, you'll be made- moreso than you already are! The opportunity for feds to have the only wrestler big enough to make TV for all the Big 3 in the span of 3 days is just so huge for words!"

"I assume you're telling me to do it?"

Jocelyn: "If we have to drag you kicking and screaming, you're showing up there..."

"Excellent. It's always nice to have friends who'll force you to do what you want..."

Steve: "Quite..." The three of us went to our respective vehicles and set off for Chicago...

The next night...

When we showed up at the arena, Shane and Brad met up with us...

Brad: "So, ready to see how it is in the big leagues?"

Jocelyn: "Um...did you forget, we work for the number two fed in the world?"

Shane: "Come on- NWATNA is NOT a competitor against us..."

"Well, maybe, but they managed to get wOw's top prospects while WWE had to go with the old, broken-down ones, right?"

Brad: "...said the person who probably could have been here, if he wasn't so broken down that AWAMLW had to replace him before a World Title feud..."

Steve: "I see. Well, where are we supposed to go?"

Shane: "Well, they said they'll need you for a skit with me and Steve Blackman- this will give you guys enough time to work out any names you'll have to use for this one in place of your working names, Mr. and Ms. Siblings of Present WWE Superstars..."

"Already way ahead of you..."

Shane: "Excellent..." The three of us went to our position as Raw started up...

WWE Raw

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

The Dudley Boyz v. Metro

Well, this wasn't actually a bad thing. Dudley Boyz matches are already vanilla ice cream, while Dinsmore and Richter are managing to gel fairly well, signifying that they could have a realistic future in the WWE. However, future doesn't work when you have a team as well-known as the Dudleyz are. However, Metro began to make a comeback. Just as Dinsmore hit a German Suplex on Bubba Ray Dudley, La Resistance came in to attack Metro! From there, it was a quick 3D for the Dudleyz to get the victory!

(75, 80, 77)

After the break, York and Matthews were backstage, when Shannon Moore came in...

Moore: "Hey, guys...I was wondering...where's Matt? I can't do this- I need to get some support for my matchup tonight- how do I go about this?"

York: "Come on, man...that stuff was bogus. You can handle yourself just fine here..."

Moore: "But...but...it worked for me...if it wasn't...wasn't for Mattitude, I'd be a second-tier player..."

Matthews: "Just go out there and kick some ass tonight...you know you can!" Moore left for his match...

York: "Hopeless, huh?"

Matthews: "I'd say so..."

Orlando Jordan v. Shannon Moore

Well, this match was blandtastic...it really says something when you have two people who'd be hard-pressed to main event Velocity on Raw in a regular matchup. Moore was working a comedy style, spending most of the match searching for Matt Hardy (at least, a decent way to work this.) This, of course, allowed Orlando Jordan to get in a squash, for the most part. From there, it was nothing- Jordan becomes a HOSS AFIRE!~, kick, wham, "KOBE!", Slam Dunk on Moore, and Jordan got the big victory. Eh- it was what it was...

(53, 76, 64)

After that match, I was given the call for it...

Off-screen: "You're on..."

After the matchup, a door was seen guarded by Steve Blackman as three people were waiting patiently...

Blackman: "Sorry...I said Mr.Goddard is NOT taking visitors..."

Fan #1 (who my sources are claiming is indy star Tom Goddard): "But...but come on! We've been traveling all night here..."

Fan #2 (who my sources are claiming is TNA star Steve Evans): "We just wanted to meet with Shane Goddard- he's one of our idols!"

Fan #3 (who my sources claim is TNA interviewer Jocelyn Richter): "You've got to have a heart here!" Just then, the door opened as Shane Goddard came out the door!

Goddard: "You can stand down, Mr.Blackman- I think I can meet with these three...would you like autographs?"

Fan #2: "Sure..." Goddard produced a pen, then put his hand out...

Fan #3: "Oh...paper? Here you go..."

Goddard: "Sorry, I have paper- just produce some with some presidents on it, and I'll get to work..."

Fan #1: "Oh, okay..." The first fan pulled out a wallet as Goddard proceeded to sign some autographs for the three as the first fan pulled out his wallet and passed some money...

Goddard: "Thanks- it's always a pleasure to meet with my fans..." The fans left as Goddard counted their money...

(60)

Tito Ortiz v. Steven Richards

Okay- show of hands: Who here thinks that Steven Richards would ever stand a chance with Tito Ortiz in a legit fight? None? That's a pretty fair assessment, and accurate to the match's form. Ortiz just CRUSHED Richards for the most part. For his part, though, Richards did sell it rather well, leading to a surprisingly entertaining match. Ortiz got the win, naturally, however. Not too bad, for what it was. (65, 80, 72)

After the break, Rosey came to the ring and played to the crowd. Just then, though, Ric Flair came out...

Flair: "Rosey-WHOO! Super-WHOO! Hero-WHOO! in Training-WHOO! Tonight, you're a lucky man, WHOO! You've been chosen as proof of what'll happen to your little friend if he crosses Triple H-WHOO!" Just then, AJ Styles came down to the ring as the two attacked Rosey!

AJ Styles and Ric Flair v. Rosey

Okay- this was just proof of how the WWE works. Styles got beaten, for the most part, because who cares that he's supposed to be the future of wrestling- Rosey is BIG! Flair, however, got to put on a little bit of offense against the S.H.I.T- not too bad, perhaps there is hope for the WWE. The ending had some nice stuff, as Flair locked Rosey in a Figure-Four Leglock while Styles came off with a Shooting Star Press to get the pinfall. Some nice spots, but pretty average nonetheless.

(79, 76, 78)

Goddard and Blackman v. Henry and Rodney Mack

No...oh, dear god no...not Mark Henry and Rodney Mack in a wrestling ring...This match was...pretty poor. Goddard and Blackman deserve some credit for pulling these two to a surprisingly good matchup- they actually managed to make beating up on those two worthless scrubs look good. Thankfully as well, Goddard got the win on it, hitting a Godd-Hand on Mark Henry for the big win. Not bad- at least the right team went over...

(61, 80, 70)

After the match, Theodore Long took the mic...

"LEMME HOLLA AT YA, PLAYA! Now, I know you think that this is the end for the true Playa's Club, Mark Henry and Rodney Mack, but this ain't even close, b'lee dat! In fact, I will say right here that if my men lose one match before they win the World Tag Team Titles, I will retire from wrestling! Now, b'lee DAT!"

Molly Holly v. Victoria

This was billed as a non-title matchup...which always means the challenger's going over. Other than that, it was nothing special- Molly and Victoria always put on great matches for female workers- always a good thing. Naturally, since it was a non-title match, Victoria got the win cleanly- always good in order to build up a challenger, but could be a possible problem...

(72, 68, 70)

X-Pac v. Scott Steiner

The eternal question...on the one hand, Scott Steiner's really BIG. On the other, however, X-Pac's really, really good friends with HHH. What is more powerful in the WWE: Vince's love of hosses, or Triple H's ear to push his friends? Either way, it was pretty poor to watch. Steiner's a shell of his former self, as is X-Pac. However, on this night, Triple H's friendship was too much for Steiner, as X-Pac got an X-Factor for the victory here. Pretty average, to say the least.

(56, 72, 64)

After the break, Hurricane took the mic...

"Evolution! This was just between me and Citizen Helmsley, but you people have attacked my Super-Hero in Training...to send a message to me? WASSUPWITDAT? If you have a message for me, send one of your goons out to tell it to my face!" Just then, Batista came out and attacked The Hurricane!

Hurricane v. Batista

Well, this was good enough for each of the two's skills. Batista looked particularly menacing against someone of The Hurricane's size, and Hurricane proceeded to sell like he was a rag doll. Batista kept getting big moves on Hurricane, but Hurricane managed to kick out during each one. Finally, Batista went for a Sit-Out Powerbomb, but Hurricane reversed it into a Victory Roll, getting a surprising victory! After the match, Batista began to attack, only stopped by a scene at the top with Shawn Michaels and Triple H on the TitanTron...

Michaels: "No, don't stop, Batista- it's funny to watch this. My only question is: When did THE HURRICANE get the idea that he had any chance of getting that World Heavyweight Title? I know we say that anything can happen in the WWE, but come on..."

HHH: "What people should know-uh by now-uh is that Anything-uh can happen-uh in the WWE...as long as WE say it can-uh!"

Michaels: "Hence, I can give you a sneak preview of the PPV: Main event: Me and Triple H. Next one? Me and Triple H. One after that? Me and Triple H. We managed to get through nearly two years with that plan, but then people like The Hurricane go and spoil it? Not gonna happen. Even if it means that I have to team up with my 'ever-so-hated-rival...', you fans will realize that at the end of the day, it's Shawn Michaels and Triple H who determine what you will get at the top of the card!

HHH: "Once you get it through your head-uh that WE-uh run the show-uh, you'll all be a lot happi-uh!"

(85)

After that, HBK and HHH headed to the ring and took a mic...

HBK: "Well, we made the thing- who wants to be the next to job?" Just then, Chris Benoit and Lance Storm headed down the ramp and attacked the two...

HHH: "I'll like this-uh...making smark faves job-uh's so much fun-uh..."

HBK and HHH v. Chris Benoit and Lance Storm

Well, we know how this will end up... The sad thing is, the match was really good. It was a MOTY candidate, in fact- always a plus. These two put on an awesome show, which was just made better by the show of this. Each team meshed fairly well, and it all went through. The end of these matches had some change, as well: Instead of Kick, Wham, PEDIGREE~!, it was Sweet Chin Music by HBK, Wham, PEDIGREE~!, sending Benoit down. After the match, the two celebrated- only to have Hurricane attack HHH as the show ended!

(87, 94, 91)

Over: 75

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

After the show, I was somewhat spent and knew that I'd have to debate whether to go all the way home or just head back to Nashville for that Thursday's XPlosion. As I headed off to my car, Shane came over to me...

Shane: "Heading back so soon? The night's still young and there's enough down-time so we don't need to care..."

"Well, I guess so, but come on- you do a lot of stuff tonight, you've got plenty of time to get back to Rhode Island. I do, I'm stuck around this area for the next couple of days..."

Shane: "Oh, I see. You're really complaining about what comes to a little vacation? Come on- me and my boys are going to the bar..." I tried to get out, but Shane grabbed me and carried me to his rental, kicking and screaming all the way. I heard him yell, "Sorry, little bro...NOW you're really going to get to see what the big leagues are like!" I put my face up to the back of the car window. I managed to see Steve and Jocelyn head off with Brad, and I tried to motion to them...

Jocelyn: "Let me guess...Shane's taking Tom somewhere, isn't he?"

Brad: "Come on- he's been waiting for this since Vince said he could try and get you three to come do this stuff backstage- he never gets to hang out with Tom anymore..."

Steve: "Yeah. Come on, you're acting like a worried wife..." Just then, Jocelyn started blushing...

Jocelyn: "Well...um...uh...it's nothing like that, really..."

Steve: "Okay, sure- I BELIEVE you...just let Tom go...spend some time with his big brother once in a while...make some possible WWE connections...and get...free beer... he's probably going to get his tab paid for all night by WWE wrestlers...HEY! WAIT FOR ME! WAIT FOR STEVIE!" Steve then proceeded to run off to his car and try to tail Shane's vehicle...

Jocelyn: "Boys..."

Brad: "Yeah. I know what you mean- come on, though, guys are like that...me, I'm just happy I can hang out again with my baby sister...say, didn't you just turn 21?"

Jocelyn: "Well, duh- don't you remember your own sister's birthday? Honestly, Mom's going to be pissed off..."

Brad: "EXACTLY the answer I was waiting for! Come on, it's time for me to go provide the traditional Richter 21st birthday present!" Brad grabbed Jocelyn and forced her into his rental as he sped off in hot pursuit, with her kicking and screaming all the way. Eventually, the three cars met up at a club in the area.

Shane: "Ah, Brad- I see you've made it with our last 'guest'...now let's go party!" The three of us "non-Superstars" met up afterwards...

"Okay...if they begin to give us too much, make sure we recognize it- prepare for hazing...we're not major players yet..."

Steve: "Yeah, yeah, If I'm not back by Thursday, call a search party!" Steve then headed onto the dance floor, leaving me alone...

Jocelyn: "Remember- make sure Brad doesn't make me do anything stupid..."

"And me...?"

Jocelyn: "Come on- you're a guy, you'll do something stupid anyway..." Shane then proceeded to grab me and send me over to the bar.

Shane: "You can play with your little friends later- I've got some people for you to meet..." Shane forced me over to a table, as I proceeded to come face-to-face with some of the most powerful people in sports entertainment...

Shane: "Tom, I'd like you to meet some my buddy, Triple H..."

"Wow...it's an honor, sir...I'm surprised you'd be willing to hang out with my brother..."

HHH: "Well-uh, Shane's done a lot-uh of stuff-uh for me-uh: He's pretty cool-uh."

Shane: "Paul, this is my brother, Tom Goddard..."

HHH: "Hey-uh...I think I know that name-uh..." I was surprised. Possibly the most powerful man in wrestling followed my work?

HHH: "Yeah-uh...he's the guy who shot-uh on WWE dudes to force them-uh to not job the wOw World Title-uh to me, right?" CRUD...

"Sorry about that- I was following orders from..."Just then, Shane whispered something to me...

Shane: "Don't put it on Robbie- you want Brad to get depushed?"

"Um...Court H.Bauer! Yeah- said he'd have more plans for us in the AWA if I was the one who was the standard-bearer for wOw..."

Shane: "I see...sticking it to that SOB, I take it?"

"You know it..."

HHH: "Ah-uh...I'll have to remember to get that guy back-uh..." Just then, the bartender came back with some drinks...

Shane: "Who cares about stuff in the past- I doubt anyone even remembers that stuff. Now, let's just drink!" I looked around and proceeded to take note of where everyone was. Apparently, Steve was getting busy with a number of females, while Jocelyn was hanging with Bradley by the bar...

Brad: "I'm actually pretty glad that you three were able to make it- I mean, I can see you on PPV and Dad always sends me wOw tapes, but that's just the character, right?"

Jocelyn: "Yeah- it's pretty hard when you're in a different fed, but hey- it's much cooler having a brother who's a WWE superstar anyways...another?" Brad proceeded to call the bartender as Jocelyn ordered...

Brad: "See? Spending time away from me is leading you to drink like one of the boys instead of one of the boys' little sister..."

Jocelyn: "Come on- 21, remember? Plus, I've only had...2..."

Brad: "I see...well, it's my duty-I told Dad I'd get you plastered, I'll do it- no problems here..." The two continued to nurse their drinks as Brad's stablemates headed over to him...

Miss Jackie: "You know, Brad- if you can't get a girl back to your hotel room after about 2 drinks, it should be obvious you're barking up the wrong tree..."

Brad: "Come on- it's not like that. Guys, I'd like you to meet my baby sister, Jocelyn..."

Miss Jackie: "Oh, that's different...hi there! We're Brad's stablemates..." Just then, Rico and Nick Dinsmore headed over...

Rico: "Why, hello! I never knew that Bradley had such a...beautiful sister... I'm sure you already know us, we are BIG WWE Superstars..." Jocelyn proceeded to look at them...

Jocelyn: "Actually, I do...it's...the gay guy and the special needs kid, right?" (I know the timing of this diary [presently in October of 2004 using a slightly modified RaveX stat from January of 2004] means that in wOw Memorial's universe, the Eugene gimmick never happened, but come ON! I just HAD to use that spot...)

Dinsmore: "HEY! I have the same gimmick as your brother- no more, no less..."

Jocelyn: "Well, did I say anything about my brother that said he wasn't one as well?"

Miss Jackie: "Ouch- someone get the water- you two just got BURNED..."

Brad: "Sorry- you should have known- our dad owns a top indy fed- we're all pretty much mavens of professional wrestling in all its forms..."

Rico: "That's okay- a lady this exquisite can say whatever she needs to to me..." Rico went to kiss Jocelyn's hand, only to be stopped by Brad...

Brad: "You realize she's young enough to be your daughter, right?"

Dinsmore: "Wait- how could she be drinking, then?"

Brad: "Well, it is Rico, the guy who flipped the switch when God said 'Let There Be Light'..."

Rico: "Oh, again with the age jokes...at least I made it within 10 years of my pro debut..."

Jocelyn: "More please- I need a few to handle midcarders' posturing..."Brad proceeded to buy another, as Jocelyn continued to drink...

Meanwhile, over by my table, the amount of booze was able to take effect. I should have expected this- my brother's reputation in wOw came just as much for his skill in the ring as for his almost-superhuman ability to consume alcohol outside of it. I didn't take too much of that, but at least a little of it came off on me...but even with that, it's just able to 'handle myself with the boys' instead of 'handling yourself against Shane'... I saw Shane head over to the bathroom, and thought that he'd be there a while. Triple H stayed around, so I tried to make some slightly tipsy conversation...

"Excuse me, Triple H...I just had one question that I needed to ask as long as you're around here..."

HHH: "Let me guess- wrestling related?" I realized the situation I was in- Triple H, possibly the United States's most powerful wrestler, was there with me and willing to answer some questions. I thought back to all the possible questions I could ask HHH, but could only see one I really needed him to give me an answer to...

"Well, I was wondering- In some of my other feds, there's this girl who I really like. The only problem is that she's the daughter of the owner of one of the feds. You've been in this situation, considering who your wife is...what should I do?" I saw HHH think a bit, until he responded...

HHH: "You know, it's strange...you're one of the first people-uh to ask that without making it seem like a problem-uh..."

"I see. It's surprising..."

HHH: "Anyways-uh...I'd suggest you give this-uh a long thought before doing something. On the one hand, if you are sure-uh that she's the one-uh, and you don't do something about it, you'll-uh regret it for the rest of your life-uh. On the same hand, if you do something and she feels the same-uh, you'll see some definite problems. No matter-uh how much work you put into putting on a great show-uh for the fans, everyone-uh in back will begin to feel-uh like you got your push-uh because you're with the owner's daughter-uh. The fans will begin to turn on you, saying you're a cancer backstage-uh because of this. It may even seem like you'll have to choose what you love-uh more: The business, or her-uh."

"I gathered- that's been my problem for too long..."

HHH: "However-uh, as I said, if you're right, and she is the one-uh, you'll have made the right choice. However-uh, you'd need to make abs-uh-loutely sure that you're right- you break the girl's heart after that, you'll be person-uh non grat-uh in that federation-uh."

"That's the biggest problem in it...I love the federation in this case just as much."

HHH: "Oh, I see-uh... it's Brad's sist-uh, huh?"

"How'd you guess?"

HHH: "Cerebral Assassin, rememb-uh? Well, that and I knew Brad's fath-uh ran wOw, Shane got his start there-uh, and you screwed WWE out of getting wOw's World Title-uh..."

"Oh, come on- that's water under the bridge, right?" Just then, Shane headed back from the bathroom carrying three more beers.

Shane: "So, what've you been talking about? Is Triple H ready to kill you yet?"

HHH: "Not even close-uh...your broth-uh's pretty cool...oh, he asked for an autograph-uh...could I borrow a pen?" Shane passed Triple H the pen he used during our sketch, as Triple H wrote something on a cocktail napkin afterwards...

____________________________________________________________________

Tom: Carpe Diem, if you will. You know she's here, and she'll probably be here as long as Brad is. If you really care about her- get on one of the tables here and scream out how you feel about her...girls love that. Trust me- would I steer you wrong?

Good luck out there on the indies- hopefully, I'll be squashing you on Raw before too long...

Triple H...

____________________________________________________________________

By now, I was a little out of it (being star-struck and too many of Shane's patented 'Adios Motherfuckers' will do that), but I knew this was good. When it's somebody with as much power in the WWE as Triple H does, I knew it'd be a wise move for my career to take it under consideration. Having said that, there was only one thing to do...

Shane: "You want ME to pass you more money for beers? Come on, you're a star in two National feds- you can pay for some..." Darn it...I was hoping Shane was paying. I headed over to the bar and picked up a couple of beers. I could see Shane and Triple H talking...

Shane: "You're not going to have him humiliate himself like you like to with various marks who meet up with you? Come on- it's my brother here..."

HHH: "I'm not saying anything- we were just talking wrestling-uh..."

Meanwhile, over by the bar...

Rico: "So, how would you like to party tonight with some WWE Superstars? Me and Nick are always looking for an extra rat..."

Brad: "Rico- if you don't stop right now, I'm going to kick your ass...this is my little sister we're talking about here..." Just then, Steve staggered over to the group...

Jocelyn: "Ah, perfect timing! Rico, Nicholas, this is one of my close pals from wOw and NWATNA, Steve Evans- you know, one of the X-Division's brightest stars..."

Brad: "Looks like the odds are evened...still willing to try something?"

Steve: "Um...I'm jusht here to get some drinksh...Sho many of them not drank yet...ALCOHOL! GET IN MAH BELLAY!"

Jocelyn: "I'll explain later..."

Dinsmore: "So, let me get this straight. You're willing to fight a trained technical wrestler who can shoot when needed and a martial arts whiz...with someone who's wrestling style can't crack an egg and a drunk X-Division guy?"

Brad: "Don't laugh- Steve's a damn good fighter..." Suddenly, Steve proceeded to pass out as Rico and Dinsmore laughed.

Rico: "BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!"

Jocelyn: "I don't know HOW this could get more embarrassing..." Just then, a voice cried out from the DJ Booth...

DJ: "All right, now, I got some awesome new stuff...let's get...hey! We don't allow guests in here..."

"ATTENTION, CHICAGO! I, TOM GODDARD, AVAILABLE TO BE SEEN IN ACTION ON SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS ON YOUR PPV CHANNELS WITH AWA: MAJOR LEAGUE WRESTLING AND NWA: TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION, AM IN LOVE WITH JOCELYN RICHTER!"

Over by the table...

Shane: "You bastard..."

HHH: "Hey, It's all meant in fun-uh...It's a cel-uh-bration, Shane! Get used to it-uh!"

I can barely remember a little bit from this...I sort of remember the DJ trying to grab me...running from it onto the dance floor, at least a few instances of me stealing BG's gimmick...all completely unseen as I woke up in a haze the next morning...only to see the unfamiliar sight of a smallish figure next to me...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next morning, I was in shock. I couldn't have...not that way...at least, that was the thought, until I heard the voice of the other person underneath the covers...

Steve: "Oog...water..." In one instant, I realized the happiness that I didn't take advantage of a friend, the relief that an X-Division worker can also be a smallish figure when you just wake up and are slightly hung over (Didn't see that coming- didja? - SDR.)...then the real worry...

Steve: "Don't worry...I think I heard something about Shane carrying us both back to his hotel room- thank him for me, okay?"

"Yeah...I'll have to." I then proceeded to check a note lying on the bedside table...

______________________________________________________

Tom:

Headed back home. Took some money from your wallet to pay for an extra day here- I'm smart enough to know you don't have the tolerance I do. REST UP! See you next time we have some downtime.

Shane.

P.S.: Something you'll learn from the future: NEVER TRUST TRIPLE H AGAIN!!!! I still can't believe you did that...

________________________________________________________

After reading the last part of this, I paled...

"Oh, shit...I did something bad, didn't I?"

Steve: "How should I know...it's nothing. Let me check this...Oh crud...it was something Triple H related? This is bad..."

"Okay...I see. Let's just find Jocelyn and get out of here...XPlosion's in a couple days, we'll need the help..."

Steve: "Yeah- that seems like the safest option; we'll probably need to get out of Dodge..." Steve took the phone... "What was Brad's room number again?"

"No idea- you're sure she'd be there?"

Steve: "Well...I did see Rico and Nick Dinsmore paying a LOT of attention to her...she may have went back to get into some OVW-legend-turned-second-rate-metrosexual wannabees sandwich..."I started to pale... "Well...to be fair, Miss Jackie was also around there...she could have been taking a page from your sister's playbook..." I kept paling... "I should stop, shouldn't I?" I nodded as Steve dialed the front desk... "Ah...could I be directed to the room for...(Dammit...what does Brad use as his alias...) um...NOT WWE Superstar Bradley Richter's room?...Thanks..."

Meanwhile...

Brad: "Who is it...Steve? What's going on? Sleep it off, okay...Oh, Tom's up too? Well, let me see if Jocelyn's ready to go..." Meanwhile, just over there...

Jocelyn: "I'M NOT HERE I'M NOT HERE I'M NOT HERE!"

Brad: "Oh, sorry...she's still sleeping. I'll tell her you called...What? You're leaving already?"

Jocelyn: "GETTING ANOTHER RIDE GETTING ANOTHER RIDE GETTING ANOTHER RIDE!"

Brad: "Oh- she's going to stay around here another couple days. I'm sure you'll see her soon- you'll have to on Thursday, right?...okay. Bye!" Brad hung up the phone...

Steve: "Well...good news is, she left with Brad. Bad news is- she sounds angry..."

"What gave you that idea?"

Steve: "Well, the fact that I could hear her giving Brad directions in the background is a sign of that..."

"Crud."

Steve: "Don't think that. On the plus side- we can deduct what you did last night was probably...something bad...and it probably involved Jocelyn in some way..."I shuddered... "No, no, it's cool. Let's just get over to the coffeeshop near here and I'll help you find out what you did..."

"Why the cafe?"

Steve: "Well, they have Internet access..." I started getting dressed as we headed over to the coffee shop as Steve picked his site...

Steve: "Ah...I assume we'll be able to find it on one of these places..." I looked at the links...

"Um... HHHaters.Com? IHateTripleH.Com? TripleHCaused911.Com?"

Steve: "Hey- we know Triple H caused something to occur last night. If something potentially bad occurred with HHH- they'll be on these sites almost immediately..." Steve logged onto a message board...

____________________________________________________________________

Subject: Triple H Punks Top Indy Wrestler After RAW?

From: wOwHHHIsLame

I was just wondering- I heard rumors of some form of altercation last night between Triple H and AWA/NWA standout wrestler Tom Goddard after RAW- anyone have any knowledge of this? Thanks...

____________________________________________________________________

Steve: "Now, we just wait until some people take this and find out what you did..." We ordered basically all the bottled waters they had as we tried to drown the buzz, all the while waiting until some answers came. Eventually, some messages occurred...

____________________________________________________________________

Subject: Re: Triple H/Goddard Incident?

From: HHHSux0rZ

I wouldn't doubt something like this would occur- Triple H always likes to hold other wrestlers down, especially if they're more talented. HHH just got jealous, tried to start something. No doubt Goddard managed to put him in his place- he's an indy legend! All indy guys are inherently better than HHH!

____________________________________________________________________

Subject: Re: Triple H/Goddard Incident?

From: HHHaterade

Are you sure on this? I know HHH sucks, but we all know he looks out for his friends (notice X-Pac getting rehired and Michaels being pushed.) It's been pretty well-reported that HHH is friends with Shane Goddard behind the scenes (who everyone knows is Goddard's older brother)- I don't think it occurred...

____________________________________________________________________

Subject: Re: Triple H/Goddard Incident?

From: Anglemark

Triple H probably felt threatened. I mean, come on- horribly overrated, insanely overpushed guy who's only where he is because he's nailing the boss's daughter? That's Triple H's gimmick, dang it!

____________________________________________________________________

"WHAT WHAT WHAT?????"

Steve: "Chill, man- that guy hates everyone and everything..." I continued to read downwards...

____________________________________________________________________

Subject: Re: Triple H/Goddard Incident?

From: Kandiman

This couldn't have happened. Triple H and Tom Goddard are unlikely to really meet in these...except in my federation, IWA-Worldwide! I managed to get Goddard to sign for shows for my stuff...and Triple H has agreed to leave the WWE and work for me...and it's going to be awesome...you'll see!

____________________________________________________________________

Subject: Re: Triple H/Goddard Incident?

From: HHHSucksPat

Actually, I think I heard of this. From what I'm hearing, it started off normally, with some wrestlers (HHH, Goddard, Brad Richter, and a few others I can't remember...) at a nightclub after the show. Goddard and Richter brought their respective younger siblings (TNA workers Tom Goddard and Jocelyn Richter) with them, as they appeared in some segments that night. Where it gets fuzzy is apparently at a point where sometime during the night, Triple H asked for a 'little something something' from the younger Richter, leading to the younger Goddard getting pissed off. Something went through about Tom Goddard stiffing on WWE guys in the past, leading to a challenged shoot by HHH...

____________________________________________________________________

"That didn't happen...did it?"

Steve: "Somehow- I think if it did, you would have gotten whooped..."

"Are you saying I couldn't take Triple H?"

Steve: "Dude- I know how not stiff you are...I think it's a safe bet you can't take HHH..."

"I see..." I continued reading...

____________________________________________________________________

...Apparently, later that night, Goddard headed back over and apologized to HHH. HHH, a little untrusting of it, forced Goddard to prove it in the form of removing his clothing, getting on the dance floor, and begging Richter to look, which Goddard reportedly did without a problem...

____________________________________________________________________

"What the...I didn't do that, did I?"

Steve: "No idea- I was totally out of it..." Crud...this seems like a bad thing. I knew there wasn't much hope- if only I could find someone who could see what Jocelyn thought about me after something like this happened...wait a second...

Meanwhile, at a diner in Wisconsin...

Alex Shelley: "(Who is it...? Honestly- if this is a fan, I need to let you know, my Psychic Connection link is only for my friends, okay?)"

"(Dude- it's Tom- listen...how would you and Jimmy like to get a tryout on XPlosion next Thursday?)"

Shelley: "(You're serious? You want to get us an NWATNA tryout? )"

"(Sure. Of course...I'll need you to use your power when we're there for a little bit...I'm sure I'm thinking of the reason now...)"

Shelley: "(No problem...what's the point of having cool powers if you can't use them for zany schemes?)"

"(Excellent- I'll get you guys on as jobbers for me and Steve!)"

Shelley: "(Cool- I've wanted to wrestle you guys- you can't know other wrestlers until you've gotten in the ring with them...)"

"(Sweet. I'll see you Thursday!)"

Steve: "Did you plan something out?"

"I sure hope so..." Steve logged off as we proceeded to leave the coffee shop.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That Thursday, I showed up in Nashville. I tried to find Jocelyn, but was unable to see her at any point before the show. Alex and Jimmy headed over to me, which should have provided some help...

Jimmy: "Ready to rock this?"

"You know it- I've wanted to get in the ring with you guys for a little while now..."

Alex: "Great...oh, where's Steve?" Just then, I saw Steve rush out of the booker's office, looking pissed off...

Steve: "AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"What's the problem, man? Did they say you're jobbing...?" Steve turned to me and looked sadder than normal...

Steve: "It's worse...Jerry called me into his office...they decided not to renew my contract."

"WHAT? But...but I was told they planned to push us in the tag team division..."

Steve: "I thought so too. However, apparently Russo thinks that I haven't been garnering enough of a crowd reaction with the fans..."

"Yeah, I've found that using someone as a Jobber to the X-Division Stars tends to do that..."

Steve: "I know. This sucks- just when we all get to be together- me, you, Jocelyn- I even heard they were in negotiations with more of the wOw guys recently...FUCK!!"

"Dude- chill...just wrestle a really good match tonight. Prove to them that they made a huge mistake to let you walk away..."

Steve: "Um...I thought that the rule was to wrestle a crappy match..."

Jimmy: "You can wrestle crappy matches on your own time. We're on tryout time- we put on a good match, we could be hired full-time by TNA..."

Alex: "You can help us, right? Wrestle the match of your life- really help your own stock rise, get us contracts...?"

Steve looked at the two...

Steve: "...Let's go get you two some contracts...just remember, if you do, you owe me big time..." We left the two as we proceeded to head over to watch the show from the back... ( Despite 6 EWR games total in wOw Memorial, This part represented possibly the only truly major blow that I received in wOw Memorial's stats: Namely, in the NWATNA EWR game (of the five run simultaneously for wOw Memorial), AWAMLW signed Evans to a written contract. To add to this problem, I couldn't cover for this one as I could in wOwM's last major one (when Sonjay Dutt was stolen by NWATNA in the AWAMLW game, I was able to sign Dutt to NWATNA to match off with it), since in the wOwM diary, AWAMLW is so much smaller than NWATNA that I couldn't sign Evans away from them.It taught me to live, learn, and Arsenic it so that all the "main characters" in each part of wOw are either under Written or Unsackable contracts in each one...)

Meanwhile, in the booker's office at that moment...

Jerry Jarrett: "Now, Ms. Richter, I'd just like to say that we think that you're doing a great job here in NWATNA, and based on the potential we see in you, we'd like to offer you a two-year contract extension. We'll keep the same contract clauses we originally had, so you will be allowed to work in wOw and whatever other indy feds you choose..."

Jocelyn: "Yeah...awesome..." (What did that mean? Crud- how am I going to face him today...?)

Vince Russo: "Get to the XTREME ideas we had planned for her, Jerry! These'll be RATINGZ!"

Jocelyn: "Ratings...Xtreme...okay...(Is...is this bad? What's so wrong with someone saying they love you...?)

Jarrett: "Well, actually, I'm not sure if you're willing to. It seems Vince here has gotten this idea to get a small women's division going in TNA, and he'd like to start giving you a push there...it's a little weird, since we did originally have you signed as an interviewer and commentator..."

Jocelyn: "...Whatever."

Jarrett: "Naturally, if you agree to do some in-ring work for us, we'll be happy to give you a raise..."

Russo: "Um...I think she said sure, Mr. Jarrett..."

Jarrett: "Oh, you're willing to work in-ring?"

Jocelyn: "Oh, wait...what's the new stuff you want me to do?"

Russo: "We want to also push you as an in-ring competitor..."

Jocelyn: "Sure! I've been waiting to get some in-ring time in TNA- just as long as I don't have to work on XPlosion- I don't trust Meltzer alone with a mic during my matches..."

Jarrett: "Don't worry- we only planned for you to have PPV matches for it. We like what you and Dave are doing for XPlosion..."

Jocelyn: "Great... (Why would he say it...now?)

Russo: "Excellent. Well, just sign here, and it'll be all set..."

Jocelyn: "Um...sure...(Why is it causing trouble? I don't...love him, do I?)" Jocelyn signed the contract, then slouched back in the chair in a daze.

Jarrett: "Um...Ms. Richter, you should probably go out there for XPlosion..."

Jocelyn: "Oh, sorry- staring into space, you know...?" Jocelyn left the room as Jerry and Vince kept talking.

Jarrett: "Honestly- what's with all those Rhode Island workers? They're decent in the ring, but they're such space-cases..."

Russo: "Who cares- they get RATINGZZZZZZZZZZ!"

NWATNA XPlosion

Your hosts are Dave Meltzer and Jocelyn Richter.

John Walters v. Kevin Hayes

Before the match, Goldylocks headed over to the announcer's booth...

Goldylocks: "It seems like you two need someone who truly knows the skill of my current client, TNA's greatest pure wrestler, John Walters, so step aside and pass me some room for this!"

Meltzer: "Wow...it looks like this is my lucky day, TNA fans..."

Richter: "Get any perverted ideas and I'll beat you like you were back in elementary school, Meltzer..."

Meltzer: "Well...um...uh...*sniff* they were mean..."

Match: Well, this was a pretty sub-par matchup. Walters kept his "undefeated generic guy" push going. I was honestly surprised that Kevin Hayes didn't mesh well with Walters- from what I've seen, Hayes is a highly underrated talent with some decent mat wrestling ability, someone Walters should have had no trouble putting on a good match with. I am happy that TNA didn't cause him to go into his indy gimmick- from what I had heard, he basically uses a bad Godfather ripoff gimmick that does NOT fit well with the guy. Anyways, long story short, Walters gets a rather quick victory, keeping the streak alive.

Goldylocks: "Now, THIS is what wrestling is all about! Another big victory for TNA's most unstoppable force, John Walters!"

Meltzer: "I can see the results, Goldylocks- your man is definitely taking some names here in NWA: Total Nonstop Action..."

Richter: "Oh, please. Walters is good, no doubt, but come on: I could go undefeated in NWATNA if I was facing jobbers like he has. Call me when he beats someone really big..." Just then, Goldylocks looked enraged...

Goldylocks: "Big talk- someone like you who hasn't been in a TNA ring wouldn't have any idea what it's like to get in there..." Goldylocks stormed off in a huff, following Walters backstage.

Richter: "What was her problem?"

(40, 70, 55)

Hart Foundation 2K3 v. The Insane Clown Posse

Okay: Good news- the Hart Foundation 2K3 are being pushed as regulars in the tag team division. Bad news: They're facing the ICP. Can you say "piss break"? This was definitely a problem- the HF2K3 can be good, but the ICP are a black hole of suck, through which all that is good and pure in this world can never awaken. Only the Juggalos in attendance were even remotely interested in this train wreck of a matchup. Luckily, Teddy Hart managed to get the Triple Bypass on Violent J, giving the Harts the victory.

(46, 48, 47)

After that, I managed to get my head together. It was hard- I could see her just about 6 feet away from me, but I couldn't try to apologize. However, once my music hit, I had to blank it out...

Tom Goddard and Steve Evans v. Jimmy Jacobs and Alex Shelley

Richter: "This should be a good matchup- I've been very impressed with the work I've seen of Steve Evans and Tom Goddard..."

Meltzer: "Well, if you're a fan of them, don't hide it, Jocelyn- shout it out to the world...oh, wait, I heard that's what Tom Goddard does...my mistake..."

Richter: "...I hate you..."

Meltzer: "Yeah, yeah..."

As the match started, I locked up with Alex...

"(You getting any readings?)"

Shelley: "(Yeah- that blonde in the front row's really digging my treats, man...)"

"(I meant on Jocelyn's front...)"

Shelley: "(Getting a mind-block on her, but hey, I think I can manage to get the mind of the dude reviewing this for some Internet website...you interested?)"

"(Sure-I'd like to see what they think of this match...)"

Shelley: "(Excellent. I'll tune us in...)" Alex proceeded to make a sight into the crowd, then looked at me as I suddenly felt some thoughts enter my head...

Match: WOW. Just...WOW. This may be one of the better jobber matches I've seen TNA put on. I had already known of Tom Goddard and Steve Evans's awesome ability as a team, and I had heard of Jimmy Jacobs and Alex Shelley being awesome as well, but this was surprisingly good. The more established Goddard and Evans made Jacobs and Shelley look like a million bucks while managing to also look strong themselves. There was almost a problem with the end, as Steve Evans went for a Shooting Star Press on Jacobs, managing to land on top of Tom Goddard's shoulders instead. However, Goddard then proceeded to hit a nice Electric Chair Drop on Evans onto Jacobs's prone body (I'm not sure if that's a botch, but either way that seems like an awesome finisher for them), allowing Goddard and Evans to get the pin. After the match, Evans took a mic...

Evans: "I'm sorry about my mistake- you were in the way..."

Goddard: "Do not worry- Stephen. You did well. Now, however, is your time to spread the good word. You have proven yourself as my first follower: Now make the world see the greatness of the Code of Glitter..." Goddard and Evans hugged as Tom Goddard sent Evans back before him!

(47, 90, 68)

After the match, we were ecstatic! As I headed backstage, I saw Vince Russo head over to Jimmy and Alex, directing them to his office. Steve turned to me...

Steve: "I'm going to head back home now: It'll be easier not having to make this trek, keep basing myself at wOw. See you tomorrow..."

"You know it, man." Steve left as I waited around for the rest of the show...

BG James v. Dusty Rhodes

Well, this was certainly...well, at least it was sort of even. The two put on basically a punch-kick fest, trying desperately to make it look somewhat realistic. The whole match was actually boring, as a result. Rhodes tried to hit a Bionic Elbow, before James hit two jabs, then proceeded to yell "Charlie Murphy!" for some reason and punch Rhodes in the face, sending him down. Shaky Knee Drop only got two, before Rhodes fought back. However, BG James met up with him, getting a "SLAP!" on Rhodes, this time getting the pin. Boring, boring match.

(61, 64, 62)

Chris Sabin v. Sonjay Dutt (X-Division Title)

Well, at least this one had some skill to it. Sabin and Dutt managed to put on a decent show for it, meshing really well together. Dutt made a good offensive attack, with Sabin mostly trying to keep it going.

Meltzer: "This is a strong occurrence for Dutt- he's been biding his time around the world waiting for a chance to go after the X Title again!"

Richter: "I know- he certainly seems more focused tonight!"

The two proceeded to outfly each other for a few more minutes. However, just as Dutt had Sabin in place and headed up for the Sonjay Star Press, Jason Cross came out to the ring and pushed Dutt down, then hit a Crossfire on the two of them from the top, causing the referee to throw the match out! Sabin and Dutt began to attack Cross as XPlosion went off the air.

(41, 90, 65)

After that break, I waited for Jocelyn to come out from backstage. Suddenly, Jimmy and Alex headed over to me...

Alex: "Hey, Tom, do you think it'll be all right if we can't show up tomorrow at Flagship?"

"What's the problem?"

Jimmy: "Russo just said our match was Match of the Night. Me and Alex were just given two-year open deals here- they need us to stay tonight so they can start filming vignettes for new characters for us."

Congratulations, welcome to TNA!

Darn it, I have to work with you guys here again?

Well, this calls for a celebration- let me just call up my close personal friend, Keanu Reeves... <----

(After that choice was selected, two large tan streaks rushed from the Midwest to Rhode Island, where they suddenly stopped...)

IRL Alex Shelley: "All right, Reflecto, we're willing to have you give us weird powers, but we are not down with you adding any shonenai subplots involving us!"

IRL Jimmy Jacobs: "Yeah- use homegrown characters if you're going to do that kind of stuff!" The two wrestlers began beating the crap out of the writer of the series, sending him skyrocketed. The two shook hands before streaking back to their homes.

I kept waiting around. Suddenly, Jocelyn headed back from the ring as I made a beeline to meet with her...

"Jocelyn...I've been waiting to talk to you..."

Jocelyn: "I know...I wanted to talk to you about what happened Monday too...I got some time to...to really comprehend it..."

"No...don't say a word...I...I just had too many drinks...Triple H dared me to do something, and really- when Triple H tells you to do something, you have to if you have any hope of WWE stardom...so...whatever I did was just a joke...forgive me?" I felt relieved, until I saw Jocelyn start to rage...

Jocelyn: "YOU...YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME...AS A JOKE????" Jocelyn suddenly punched me, sending me into the stratosphere. While out there, I suddenly saw another person floating out there...

Reflecto: "Oh, hey, Tom...Jocelyn sent you skyrocketing again?"

"Yeah...you might want to be warned- going back down to Earth's a doozy..."

Reflecto: "I figure...say...how can I be able to coexist like this with my creations?"

"Hey, you're the writer- I doubt anyone can question why in a series like this..."

Reflecto: "Quite. Well, looks like I'm going back down from orbit- I'll see you..."

"Try to write it so I fall to Earth in Rhode Island- it'll save on gas mileage..."

Reflecto: "Okay..."

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

While I was coming back down towards the Flagship taping, I tried to take stock of my situation:

Pro: I'm one of the current smark darlings.

Con: My boss in one of the Big Three hates me, and my bosses just refused to renew one of my closest friend's contracts, basically driving a shiv into what was pitched to me as an idea to make us the biggest team in the world.

Pro: I'm still the man in wOw.

Con: The boss's daughter apparently hates me now.

Pro: My brother's tight with Triple H, making WWE work a possibility...

Con:...it's because my brother's tight with Triple H that apparently they played some big prank on me, leading to the boss's daughter hating me now...

Pro: Um...I have a pretty wOw Title...

Con: That'll be taken away from me just as soon as Robbie hears that his daughter apparently hates me now...

When I looked through these things, it became obvious what my major problem is. I had to get Jocelyn to like me again...but how? Somehow, I don't think girls take kindly to you claiming that you told them you loved them as a joke...I decided that this might be one of those things you have to fight through, and decided to get back in the swing of things, going in to wrestle. Luckily, I saw that I wasn't on the card in a match, meaning my title was safe for now. I didn't see Jocelyn around, so I couldn't try to apologize. I decided to wait as the show unfolded...

wOw Flagship

Your hosts are Madison Carter and Gristleizer.

As the show started, "Barbie Girl" hit as Mr. Productive Anal Virginity came to the ring and took a mic...

PAV: "HELLO, THWEETIES! Now everyone knows, the new-era Inter-Gender Champion, Mr.Productive Anal Virginity, is a LOT like an Ambulance...You Stick a Stiff in either of us and we go 'WHEEE-OOOO! WHEEE-OOOO!'"

Mr.Productive Anal Virginity v. Masked Female Jobber 1

This looks like it'll be lame, as Mr.PAV (already a poor male worker) faced off with Masked Female Jobber 1 (one half of the legendary tag team, the Masked Female Jobbers.) As I expected, it was a squash match for Mr.PAV. As I didn't (well, okay, I did) expect- it was horrific. The two didn't mesh, they didn't wrestle well- it just sucked. Mr.Productive Anal Virginity got the win following the 'dreaded' Father Nelson submission hold (basically a cross between a Full Nelson and a Big Wiggle...) for the victory. The crowd was dead, but I personally gave Mr.PAV a standing O for ending this match...

(23, 36, 29)

After the break, Vic Grimes was in the ring and took the mic...

Grimes: "Okay, I know I've had a bit of a losing streak, but that's going to change. I'm too good to lose this much. I'll take on anyone in the ring tonight!" Just then, "Cold Beverage" hit as 57U carried T3H K36 out to the ring for a matchup and set it in the ring!

Vic Grimes v. T3H K36

Okay...this is something I'm not excited about. You have one thing with all the skill of an inanimate object, something that has no place in a wrestling ring...and then you have T3H K36. Seeing as one of the workers was a human and the other was a keg of beer, the match was basically the same as every T3H K36 match: Vic Grimes sees the keg, Vic Grimes drinks until he passes out, T3H K36 wins. Not bad, if you're interested in seeing a poor worker drink until he passes out...

(28, 73, 50)

Meanwhile, outside the ring, my sister was apparently going through some stuff of her own...

Sharon: "(Okay...this is just a normal match...just like you've had so many other times with her...)"

Jamie: "Match style number 4?"

Sharon: "...bleh?"

Jamie: "You know, the fourth form we use for our match..."

Sharon: "...bleh..."

Jamie: "Okay..."

Sharon: "(Smooth move, ex-lax...)" (Another weakness of the five-diary style: This particular feud, one I've been booking as going in both AWAMLW and wOw. Due to this, most of the feud (which goes in AWAMLW) means that the AWAMLW part ended quicker than the wOw part, meaning that I had to keep the wOw one going to not destroy their morale [Kogyaru's stats and frequent title pushes dictate it'd be nice to keep her happy, while making Goddard upset would potentially open up a chain reaction which would definitely be a poor thing for the diary...)

Jamie Kogyaru v. Sharon Goddard (for the National Women's Title)

Well, just when wOw makes its Women's Division look bad with its earlier match, they use a Kogyaru/Goddard match and totally redeem themselves. Like always, these two came through with the goods, making the division look stronger as a whole. Other than that, it was somewhat formulaic: Goddard was a Monster Afire, Kogyaru made the heroic comeback, Japanese Schoolgirl Pin, Kogyaru gets the win. Not bad...just like all their other matches...

(52, 75, 63)

After the break, Paul London was in the ring and took a mic...

"You wOw punks are all going to pay! I...I finally made it...I was a WWE Superstar...but then your people stiffed on me...made it so I couldn't take on the big guys...they fired me! WHO WANTS TO FEEL MY PAIN????" Just then, a voice came out...

"WELL...WELL IT'S THE BIG SHO!" Just then, The Big Sho Funaki came down to the ring to attack Paul London!

Carter: "Um...why is the first person to defend whacked Out wrestling's honor from this self-proclaimed WWE guy a WWE worker?" (I blame my assistant and his want to see "The Big Sho" pushed...)

Gristleizer: "Don't ask me..."

The Big Sho Funaki v. Paul London

It's a shame- this would have been a good match...well, if Funaki wasn't imitating The Big Show's mannerisms, that is. As it was, it managed to be a fairly good comedy match, with London attempting to make Funaki be serious, only for Funaki to counter with punches and kicks. Funaki got the Chokeslam on London, giving the victory in what didn't make much sense. So...London tries to get back to the WWE...by losing...to a WWE worker...instead of a wOw worker? I hope someone got fired for that blunder...

(52, 81, 66)

After that break, Finale headed to the ring...

"Ah...now, wOw will see what the true beauty of pain can be...if any person is willing to fight and die for a title with as much prestige as the wOw Television title, let them stand and deliver in the only true way to fight, the Hardcore style..." Just then, "I Stand Alone" hit as Forest Yuhas headed to the ring to take his shot at this!

Finale v. Forest Yuhas

Well, the wrestling mark in me is disappointed because these two hardcore brawlers don't know a wristlock from a wristwatch...

...but the blood mark in me is disappointed because these two awesome hardcore brawlers didn't put on the show I hoped for!

The match was an overall disappointing affair. I expected one of those dramatic matches you get from someone like a Foley or a Funk, but got one that showed off the weaknesses of the two involved: Namely, Yuhas's being an offensive wrestler only while Finale's not good enough to bring anyone to a great hardcore match. However, the finish was nice, with Finale managing to lock in an Ordinary Vanity while choking Yuhas with the belt AND wrapping a steel chair inside the area Yuhas was in in a nicely brutal action. Not too bad, but not as good as I hoped...

(27, 76, 51)

(I HATE the mall computer...*sniffle* this time, it ate part of the show in such a way that it wasn't artistically better for it to occur...eh, luckily school starts up in a week, and I'll be able to get new episodes on my own computer (which rarely has problems typing up the shows...)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

After that show, I was still feeling somewhat down. Even my new RFVideo compilation did nothing to ease my pain- something that really hurt it. (That came from the last version, where in order to cover up a double-post, I added extra "classic" matches from the original wOwfed [the efed that spawned the characters who became the people in wOw Memorial]. Just a little bonus for all those people who read my stuff (see? I give you people stuff: Now TELL PEOPLE TO READ THIS!)) I packed my video back into my bag, when I was introduced to someone...

Voice: "Well, well, well, the claims are true for once- Tom Goddard really is the first one in and last one out at wOw shows..."

"Yeah, yeah, my work ethic's amazing- autograph?"

Voice: "Um- I work here too...I'm one of the ACW guys, Roderick Strong...?" I began to place the name as I looked at Strong...

"Oh, what's going on? I've heard some good things about your work, and I personally thought that Freestone ruined your last wOw match..."

Strong: "Thanks. Listen- my boy Alex told me about your problem...I think I might be able to help you out..."

"This isn't about that time I clicked on the 'Herbal Viagra' e-mail, is it? Honestly, I swear I got it for a birthday present for my father..."

Strong: "No, no, no- your love life problems..."

"Like I said, that was for my father..."

Strong: "Do you want to make that girl like you again or what?" I wondered how this guy could have known about this...then realized we had a psychic mutual friend, and got over it quick...

"*sigh* More than anything..."

Strong: "And you're willing to sign off on zany schemes to do this?"

"Zany schemes are the best type of scheme..."

Strong: "...andifIhelpyouyou'llgetRobbietocallmeupfromACWandputmebackonthewOwactiveroster?"

"What was that?"

Strong: "Nothing, nothing..."

"Okay, then...sure..." Strong then put up a "peace sign"...

Strong: "Spectacular! Then I'll help out!" (Roderick Strong has joined your party!)

Strong: "What was that about?"

"You know- I teach my buddy Jared some stuff, he teaches me some stuff...so, what is your plan to do this?"

Strong: "A better question is...WHEN is my plan to do this..."

"Um...that makes no sense..."

Strong: "It's a Reflecto diary- does anything need to make sense here?" Point taken... Roderick took me over to the outside, where he showed me an old-looking, somewhat bitchin' (back in 1984) Camaro...

"You're not going to suggest I show my loss of face by growing a mullet, are you?"

Strong: "No, no...observe..." I saw Roderick enter the car, grab hold of the dashboard, start driving, and suddenly disappear for a few seconds, reappearing carrying about $5,000.

"Magic?"

Strong: "Lord no- Roderick Strong, master of time travel, at your service!" Maybe I should have expected that...

"Very cool..."

Strong: "I know. I've been able to use it for good causes- help out some of my buddies from training. Like for instance, a couple years back, two of them had too old-school a style to work here, so I helped them by sending them back to 1988 so they could forge a successful wrestling career for themselves..."

"Hold up...you sent the New Breed back in time?"

Strong: "Well, who else could have?"

"Wait a second...didn't they make claims like how Dusty Rhodes was President here or something like that?"

Strong: "Hey, don't blame me for that one...I sent them to that time with the truth-they just claimed the wrong really dumb guy from Texas was President..."

"I see..."

Strong: "So, you're still up for it?"

"Sure- let's do it!"

Strong: "Well, I'll have to get some others to do it- we can't risk you meeting yourself, else the universe will end. I'll round up a posse, and we'll get this done...okay?"

"Sure..."

Strong: "Excellent. I'm going back to get you some memories..." As I saw him leave, I wondered what that could have meant...

(To be Continued...)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

As our "regular" hero started on his typical trip to Minneapolis, Roderick Strong got a few of the openers (including Fast and Furious and Dexter Hart) for wOw together...

Strong: "Okay, then- I know we all know why I've asked you here..." Just then, Sedrick Strong then spoke up...

S.Strong: "You're trying to play politics and get in with the guy who has arguably the most power in wOw?"

R.Strong: "That sounds so...accurate, please don't use it, okay? Well, anyway, I need some people who bring to the table for this mission some very important tools for this: ROLL CALL!

Roderick Strong: I'm the guy who can get us back in time!"

Michael Raines: "Michael Raines: I'm the guy who owns the only car fast enough to get us there!"

Memphis Raines: "Memphis Raines: I'll be damned if I'm letting Mikey take our ride back to 1987 without me there to make sure nothing fishy happens! I mean, come on- we just pimped this thing out to notches unknown, dude..."

Mi.Raines: "Don't you want to get a big push?"

Me.Raines: "Oh, yeah..."

S.Strong: "Sedrick Strong: If Roderick's going to get a push and be allowed to leave ACW, I wanna get a push and be allowed to leave ACW, dammit...*sniff* he always gets the fun stuff..."

Dexter Hart: "DEXTER HART IS YOUR HOOKUP! HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME! Now, I don't know about all these people- I could probably handle this mission all by myself...after all, I GET LAID EVERY NIGHT...often by an actual girl...why not let me do this? That Sedrick Strong- those Fast and Furious guys...they all probably go around in some ACW circle jerk while listening to The Hives...I once got laid by a beehive...that was cool...YOU WILL RESPECT BRET HART! HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!" (For some reason, I've found that both in wOw and any other things dictated by Team whacked Out wrestling, I've only needed one real promo for Dexter Hart. It usually tends to be so unbelievable that it works in almost all situations.)

Mi.Raines: "Um...why are we taking him again?"

R.Strong: "Come on- in case we're given too much problem, I need somebody we can sacrifice to save us..." Just then, Michael Raines blanched...

Mi.Raines: "Um...nothing's going to happen to our ride, right?"

R.Strong: "Later, later...let's go Back...to the..."

S.Strong: "DO YOU WANT TO GET SUED???

R.Strong: "I'll be good..." The five piled into Fast and Furious's car and sped off. Strong grabbed the dashboard as the five suddenly vanished, showing up in 1985...

(however, back in 2004...)

AWAMLW Underground

Your hosts are Joey Styles and Jason Knight.

(National Women's) Jamie Kogyaru v. Lori Angel

Knight: "This should be a great matchup- hopefully, the reigning queen of women's wrestling, Jamie Kogyaru, will teach that wOw slut what real wrestling's all about!"

Styles: "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Knight: "Um, yes..."

Match: I can still never understand why the AWA claims Jamie Kogyaru as their own for this, when she's based in wOw, holds what amounts to the wOw Women's Title, and for all intensive purposes, is nothing better than wOw workers...oh, wait, the fact that AWAMLW couldn't get a decent homegrown female if their lives depended on it...this match had a few too many bugs in the system for my tastes, instead faltering throughout the match. For a women's match, it was nothing poor, but the division kept its weakness- namely, Kogyaru's too good to really mesh with the average female. As a result, it was predictable- Kick, wham, PANTY FLASH~!, another win...some female take the title and just put Jamie Kogyaru in with the men already, would you?

(51, 54, 52)

After the break, Harry Potsmoker came to the ring with the rest of the Death Eaters, carrying the AWA East Coast Title! Potsmoker took the mic...

Potsmoker: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is a glorious day for everyone on the East Coast...meaning, a day that will live in infamy for all of YOU. You see, since Jerry Lynn lost, the AWA has not had a number one contender. We had received a press release given to all sectors of the AWA, and by necessity, given to wOw that said that tonight, here in *shudder* Minneapolis, the AWA Board of Directors would name the new Number One Contender to Christopher Daniels's AWA World Title. Now, normally I would blow this off and get a jump on going back to Nashville, where they actually know how to USE a talent of MY caliber..." The crowd booed at that remark... "...but then I realized, if I stop in here, they would HAVE to give me the spot- I haven't been beaten since rising to my rightful place as the People's Champion...of the East Coast..., and by nature, I deserve the shot as the number one contender! Now, as a result, I'm calling Court H. Bauer out here to do the right thing, or I've got 10 guys and 2 girls behind me ready to make you go UP...IN...SMOKE..." Just then, Court H. Bauer came from the back and took a mic...

Bauer: "Wait....wait a minute. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a great day for the American Wrestling Association. Where our competitors in New York and Nashville frequently use hyperbole, this is living proof that the AWA always bills our wrestlers with the truth!"

Potsmoker: "Um...I see- why would that be?"

Bauer: "Come on, Potsmoker- if you ever think I'll let you get in a position to be number-one contender to the AWA World Title, you MUST be high!" The crowd cheered as Bauer continued... "Like I said, I did check the title records. And, like this...second-rater claimed, he IS leading the Heavyweight rankings. And like he said, he is right now...Technically...the number-one contender to the AWA World Title, both by virtue of that...thing he uses to keep his pants up, and by record..." The crowd started to boo as Potsmoker looked pleased...

Bauer: "...Which is why I, in the Interest of Fairness to the AWA, am PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE an 8-Man Tournament to determine the Number-One contender to the AWA World Championship! That's right, 8 of the AWA's top workers will be in there to determine just who will deserve a shot at Christopher Daniels's World Title!" Potsmoker looked pissed, until Robbie Richter came up behind Bauer...

Richter: "Nice move, Bauer...unfortunately, you forgot two things:"

Bauer: "I'm sorry...what gives someone like YOU a chance to contradict me?"

Richter: "Well, according to the AWA Rulebook, if a tournament to determine a number-one contender is introduced, ALL singles titleholders MUST get an automatic bid in the tournament, putting the AWA East Coast Champion, Harry Potsmoker in automatically! In addition, due to the agreement between wOw and MLW, wOw gets another automatic bid, putting a SECOND Death Eater in the 8-man field! Due to that- Harry, would you please leave the ring so that we may determine our second entrant?" Potsmoker left for the announcer's table as a bell was rang by Richter!

12-Person Battle Royal

Potsmoker: "Well, this'll be a pleasure for the folks back East- you finally get someone who has some skill to call for you!"

Knight: "Don't touch me...I don't want your...wOw germs..."

Match:

1) Kari-Chan eliminated by Finale

2) Lori Angel eliminated by P.T. Midnite

Potsmoker: "Darn it- that took out the females. It's a shame- they both could have done well in the tournament- I can safely say they've got some skills..."

Knight: "Yeah- I've heard about how you know their 'skills'..."

Potsmoker: "Don't be jealous just because you could only merit Justin Credible at a Jersey Turnpike rest stop, Knight..."

3) Chris Dobbs eliminated by Joey Hamm

4) Matt LaPlaca eliminated by Alex Shelley

5) Brandon Downard eliminated by Alex Shelley

6) P.T.Midnite eliminated by Finale

7) Stavros eliminated by Finale

8) Alex Shelley eliminated by Joey Hamm

9) Prodigy wOw eliminated by Finale

10) Nico eliminated by Joey Hamm

11) Joey Hamm eliminated by Finale

Potsmoker: "It's an incredulous occasion! Finale, my perfectulate teammate on the most glorificent stable in the world, the Death Eaters, will join me on my amazorifous quest to gain the AWA World Title- so I may TRASH it in a resplendent dumpster somewhere in Rhode Island! ONLY IN THE AMERICAN WRESTLING ASSOCIATION!"

(46, 68, 57)

Predator v. Tom Howard

And we're officially in "filler" mode for this (sycodmn sucks. No real reason...just, he sucks. Hey, this is my wOw Memorial Notes [now with a changed title for new stuff!], I can do what I WANT!), as Predator and Tom Howard come out for no apparent reason. The match was surprisingly worse than most I had seen of them, causing some definite problems towards it. The two didn't mesh that well, causing nothing but problems. The Predator had Tom Howard in a bad situation, hitting a Face Paver on him. Before The Predator could pin, however, Mike Sullivan ran in and attacked The Predator, causing a DQ victory for him! Sullivan looked angry at this, before Tom Howard ran after him...

Howard: "Hey- what's the problem with that? I can handle myself..."

Sullivan looked at him...

Sullivan: "I'll make this short and sweet- NO ONE in AWAMLW is allowed to pin you or make you submit BUT ME. Got it?" Sullivan left as Howard was confused...

(52, 77, 64)

Teddy Hart v. Todd Shane

And the burial of The Shane Twins continues- this time, the lucky recipient was Teddy Hart, as he proceeded to get an overness-increasing win. However, this didn't work as planned, since Shane refused to sell much for the talented Hart. The NOSELLERS' BRAWL~! kept up, finally ending with one quick Triple Bypass by Hart for the victory. After the match, Mike Shane headed to the ring...

Mike Shane: "Hey, bro...what's been going on? You've been losing too many matches as of late..."

Todd Shane: "I've reached my physical limits...come, brother- we need to leave- we must go to find that thing that put us on everyone's lips in wrestling..." The Shane Twins left the ring as the announcers were confused!

(51, 65, 58)

After that, a video came up on the AWATron...

Graphic: "And now, whacked Out wrestling, in accordance with AWA:Major League Wrestling presents your opportunity to own some merchandise of the TRUE People's Champion...of the East Coast, Harry Potsmoker." Christopher Daniels then showed up on screen.

Daniels: "Now, ladies and gentlemen, I know you'd be surprised that I am here to sell some Potsmoker merchandise, but the original host wOw assigned is...indisposed..." The camera cut to a scene on the ground of Jeff Richter in a Harry Potsmoker T-Shirt, beaten up... "Don't worry, folks- I've got some great deals for you, using ACTUAL merchandise Potsmoker used. For instance, our new item..." Daniels held up a small spoon. "Now, anyone who truly knows how things work in Rhode Island wrestling would be apt to say that Harry Potsmoker has had everything handed to him there- that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, so to speak. Well, we actually HAVE a replica right here of the actual silver spoon that Harry Potsmoker had in his mouth when he was born! You can see all the little extras of this- a little "wOw" symbol, circa 1983- and unlike some with the soft metal of silver, I can't see any tooth marks...apparently, a lesson kept to heart 20 years later, when it came time for Potsmoker to head over to Robbie Richter's office so he could 'earn his push', so to speak! Get your official replica of the silver spoon Potsmoker had in his mouth when he was born, only $29.95, or go to AWAShopZone.Com!"

(89)

After the match, a bracket showed up for the tournament:

Harry Potsmoker v. Steve Corino

Jeff Hardy v. Dustin Rhodes

Chance Beckett v. Ken Shamrock

Kevin Nash v. Finale

Number one contenders' Tournament: Jeff Hardy v. Dustin Rhodes

For some reason, I'm getting the theme from Evolution stuck in my head...oh, wait, that always occurs when I can tell there's going to be a Styles Clash in the match...surprisingly, these two put on a decent show- something I was honestly pleasantly surprised from. It wasn't what I'd call an awesome match, but it was close in some areas. Jeff Hardy got the win in this case- not a bad thing, as he'd likely put on a better match than Rhodes would have.

(70, 79, 74)

After the match, Finale headed to the ring for his match. Court H. Bauer then took a mic...

Bauer: "You know, I don't usually change our brackets, but I got a special request for it, so Finale, prepare for your new First Round Opponent...TERRY FUNK!" Terry Funk ran down the aisle and made a beeline for Finale!

Terry Funk v. Finale

Sometimes I wonder exactly what in Finale brings out the ability to make Terry Funk look at least 10 years younger in the ring. Sure, Finale's an amazing brawler, but aside from that, the two manage to keep putting on awesome brawls for the skill (considering Finale's being somewhat green and Funk's age, they're amazing.) The two tore into each other with almost no restraint. The referee, seeing it degenerate, quickly went against the grain and made it hardcore-rules. This helped the two out, as Finale dug into Funk. Finale then grabbed a chair, hit Funk with it, and then locked in the Ordinary Vanity, keeping it on until Funk passed out! After the match, Finale took a mic...

Finale: "Poor, deluded old fool...you couldn't have had a chance when you were at your best, you'll never defeat me when you're a broken-down, washed up loser..."

(76, 79, 77)

Chance Beckett v. Ken Shamrock

Well, it's official- AWA, have Beckett drop the Global Cruiserweight Title ASAP. This match has officially proven that he's ready for the Heavyweight Division at very least. Shamrock and Beckett actually managed to mesh fairly well, causing a nice battle between the two on it. Beckett managed the win following the Chance Encounter- a better move, as that would add some more legitimacy to the Cruiserweight champion...

(79, 89, 84)

After the match, Harry Potsmoker headed out to the ring for his matchup. Just then, Bauer came on screen again...

Bauer: "Nothing personal, but Corino just doesn't have that...thing I needed from your opponent, Potsmoker- therefore, his replacement will be..." Just then, Vader headed out towards Potsmoker and began to attack him! Bauer continued:

Bauer: "Oh, yeah- it should go without saying, but the East Coast Title WILL be up for grabs in this match..."

Harry Potsmoker v. Vader

This is almost a throwback to Saturday Night's heyday: Vader going after a small guy and just DESTROYING him. Or it would be, if Vader wasn't pussified towards this. It says something about how wrestling's changed when Vader's Powerbomb (something that used to totally end matches, if not careers) only managed a 2.9999999 in this day and age. Potsmoker, however, had a few different things on the former Boy Meets World star, mixing numerous dropkicks, high-flying moves while Vader was standing, and FREQUENT title shots to chop the big man down. Finally, a nice modified Blockbuster later, and Harry Potsmoker extinguished his latest challenger to the World Title. After the match, Potsmoker celebrated...until Christopher Daniels ran in and attacked him!

(90, 72, 84)

Over: 74

[Styk]

Over the past week I have read this entire diary... And well it's... unique... you are a good storyteller... (however somethings confuse me but it could just be because i read portions of it at like 3:30 in the morning... and may have missed the explenation...)...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Meanwhile, in the past, Roderick Strong and his sidekicks had made it back there...

Mi.Raines: "God, could we turn off this stuff? I'm not in the mood for '80s music..."

R.Strong: "Hey, I just see it as a good sign- we're back. 1987. Now, to just find the offices of wOw..." The crew drove around the area, finally coming to a small office on top of a bowling alley and below another bowling alley...

S.Strong: "Wait...this can't be their office...wOw's the top independent federation, remember?"

R.Strong: "Not in 1987, they aren't, come on...let's go inside..." The Strongs and Raines brothers went inside, while Dexter Hart started thinking...

Hart: "Hmmm...if that car can travel through time, I can use that to save the world!I mean...I can go back to 1999 and save Owen Hart...I can GET LAID EVERY NIGHT, often by an actual girl...Wait! I can go to 1997 and stop Montreal from happening! Then everyone will have to RESPECT BRET HART!" "HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!!!!!..." Just then, some people gathered around Dexter Hart...

Girl: "Mommy, he's grody..."

Mother: "Stay away from him...the AIDS probably got into his mind..." Hart rushed after the four as they headed into the offices...

(Meanwhile, back in 2004...)

NWA: Total Nonstop Action

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West.

As Total Nonstop Action started up, Robert Lowenstein was in back with Danny Hillstead, Jay Matthews, and Jayce Simmons of Team America2...

Lowenstein: "Okay, you guys- we've had a few setbacks recently. Sure, those...rednecks from Team TNA may have won the America's X-Cup, and sure, our leader may have left TNA for some...vision quest or whatever, but I am SURE that you people are just more skilled than any of those teams. That is why I am happy to announce that I have proven our team's dominance. Steve had given me a request for a new person to take over leading us in the ring, so let me introduce the new leader for Team America2..." Just then, Tom Goddard minced into the room in front of the three and looked them over.

Goddard: "Are these the people...Stephen felt were worthy of America's X-Cup victory? Honestly- you people are naught but second-raters. Tonight, we have a match against Team Britain, and you people do NOT have what it takes to team with me. You need a certain amount of glitz, glam, and everything that can turn another team...into champions. That is why I have come to you- to turn Team America2 into the 1 at the top of NWA:TNA! The question is simple: Are you three willing to give in to measures of innumerable ecstasy in order to take your place where you belong in the America's X-Cup race?" The three shrugged as Goddard continued.

Goddard: "Perfect...tonight, we will show a level of complete ecstasy..." Simmons, Hillstead, and Matthews left the room as Lowenstein and Goddard stayed...

Lowenstein: "Great stuff, but...Goddard, You come from the Planet Glitter...right? I think you need some form of US citizenship to work for us..."

Goddard: "No problem, Mr.Lowenstein...just say that I'm from the dirtiest, skankiest, lowest-class US city that you can think of..." The crowd booed as NWATNA continued...

(91)

Meanwhile, backstage, Goldylocks was WALKING~! as Jocelyn Richter headed over to her...

Richter: "This is Jocelyn Richter here, giving you the scoops for NWA:TNA, and I'm here with Goldylocks as she prepares to get what's coming to her in tonight's event for the Miss TNA title, the first ever 10-Woman Bra and Panties Battle Royale! Goldylocks, what's going through your mind as you prepare to get stripped in a way NOT involving you at some Nashville gentlemen's establishment tonight?" Goldylocks shot a dirty look and grabbed a mic...

Goldylocks: "What the...? Am I actually hearing this correctly? You still haven't taken a spot in the ring, and you're claiming that I am going to be beaten? Look- I'm the most dominant female in NWATNA right now: I interviewed better than you, I manage the only Unstoppable Force in NWATNA right now in John Walters, and tonight, when this ends, I will..."

Richter: "...get your clothes get ripped off with a time you hadn't beaten since you were in high school?" Goldylocks started getting angry...

Goldylocks: "You're one to talk, you little brat! At least I am willing to go out there and attempt to win, unlike you, who's never been in an NWATNA ring!"

Richter: "I see...so that's what this is all about? Eh, no big deal- it sounds fun, and worst comes to worst, at least the TNA fans will get to see something that they all haven't already seen..." The fans scattered some cheers as the females started to come out for the show...

Mike Tenay: "This should be an interesting battle for the Miss TNA title- there's ten very beautiful, talented ladies in that ring tonight!"

Don West: "I WAWNNA SEE SOME PUPPIES!"

Tenay: "Um, I believe that's Jerry Lawler's sthick, not yours..."

West: "Um...BARRY BAWNDS! BAWNDS!

Tenay: "Okay...that sounds better..."

(MISS TNA TITLE) 10-Woman Bra and Panties Battle Royal (competitors: Goldylocks, Jocelyn Richter, Traci, Trinity, Lollipop, Desire, Taylor Matheny, April, 'La Gran Luchadora', 'La Conquistadora #53')

Match: This was like most Bra and Panties matches- pretty to look at, boring to watch. The action was just your average Bra and Panties match times 10, which was sad due to the fact that there were a number of really good female workers in the matchup. Jocelyn Richter managed to draw first blood, managing to rip the clothing off of Traci to start off the matchup. April's clothes soon followed on the floor, the victim of fellow dancer Lollipop's ripping. Unfortunately, this rip caused Trinity to be able to declothes Lollipop, cutting more of the dead weight from the match. Goldylocks kept trying to attack, only to have La Gran Luchadora attack with a very stiff LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! La Gran Luchadora ripped Goldylocks's pants off, but before she could get her shirt off, Goldylocks tripped her up, got on top of her, and unzipped her bodysuit, bringing her to Bra and Panties. While this was going on, La Conquistadora #53 kept attacking Ultra-Reality's Taylor Matheny, finally managing to get a SHINING WIZARD~! on her and ripping her shirt off before turning it into nice modified Sunset Flip move to get the panties off, eliminating her from the mix. This led to the same problem as her "fellow luchador", as Desire managed to get to her bodysuit, leaving her in her bra and panties as she left (and a fan from the back claimed that La Gran Luchadora's mask turned red around the lower-half...) Desire then proceeded to go after the easiest target in Goldylocks, but Goldylocks used a surprisingly strong attack from her front to get Desire's shirt off, then ripped her pants off as Desire was stunned from it. Meanwhile, Trinity started attacking Jocelyn Richter with some nice moves, which Richter was surprisingly able to counter with equally nice maneuvers. Trinity went for a Blockbuster on Richter while she was standing and ripped Richter's shirt off, but Richter managed to grab her in mid-air and rip her pants off, then hit an Airplane Spin on her, ripping her shirt off once she landed. After this occurred, Goldylocks and Jocelyn Richter stared at each other in the ring. Just then, John Walters headed down the ramp while Goldylocks got a devious look in her eyes. Walters headed towards the outside behind Goldylocks as Goldylocks headed towards her. Jocelyn Richter went for a nice Plancha on John Walters from the outside...only to be caught by Walters. Walters went for her skirt...only for the referee to notice Goldylocks's shirt in Jocelyn Richter's hands and call for the bell!

West: "I DID NAWT BELIEVE THIS AT THE STAWT, TENAY! AWR OWN INTAVIEWA IS THE NEW MISS TNA! WHO COULD'A THAWGHT THAT WOULD HAPPEN?"

Tenay: "It's a definite upset, to be sure...and it looks like Jocelyn Richter is paying the price for it right now!"

Just then, Walters and Goldylocks grabbed Richter, as Walters locked Richter in a Boston Crab as Goldylocks ripped Richter's skirt off!

(48, 44, 46) (Surprising...the first battle royal that I was also able to write out myself [apparently, people CAN slowly improve...]For those of you who don't know who La Gran Luchadora and La Conquistadora were in this, I think I left a couple hints to their "real" identities... Interesting trivia note that only about 1 person who reads this will actually care about: Despite being pushed enough in the original wOwfed that she became the "main" female character in wOw Memorial, this is the first time that Jocelyn Richter has ever won a title in any of whacked Out wrestling's incarnations. There was no typo in this sentence. You can go about your business. Move along.)

Red Shirt Security II v. Straight Money

Well, this was a bit of a styles clash...for some reason, I can't get into this mixture. Each team has their non-push (Northcutt/Dinero), their push (Legend/CM Punk), and as a result they both look a little uneven. In addition, the differing styles of each one managed to make the match look even worse, to boot. The ending added to the problems of this one, as...wait for it...Raven...RAN IN! How original! Of course that caused Straight Money to lose, as it'd kind of defeat the purpose to help the opponents. After the match, Raven took the mic...

"CM Punk...like most of the fans here would be wont to say [as well as the author himself, but I digress...], I grow weary of your little antics. Therefore, it is necessary for me to try to end this. On XPlosion, I have managed to procure the services of two men...two who I am certain will serve me far better than you two had, and are more than willing to destroy you for me. If you and your little sidekick can manage to break through the bonds of your history and defeat my newest Gathering, then, and only then, will I deign to face you next week in a match of my choosing. I think you hear me knocking, and next week, my Gathering, will be coming in."

Tenay: "That looks like a big match for XPlosion! Straight Money will face two members of Raven's Gathering, and if they win, Raven will face off with CM Punk next week!"

Just then, a video started up on the TNATron...

"The NWA is in peril!

For too long, the forces of evil have taken control of NWA:Total Nonstop Action!" A scene showed of Jeff Jarrett victories...

"This is the time, when you need someone who can take control of the power of the NWA! That's why I, Earth's Greatest Champion, Chris Hero, have arrived to take control of this action! Wherever the Earth needs me, so shall I be there to stop the problems of the universe! But I cannot clean up NWATNA alone, so I will be bringing three great heroes with me...

The amazing power of, The Rave Master..." Just then, a worker [who indy mavens could have recognized as Jimmy Rave] took a large sword and began to slice a rope carrying a large crate...

"The master of the mind, Kid Psycho..." A scene followed of a worker [who was recognizable as Alex Shelley] causing the crate to lift into the air...

"The indominate power of, The Barbaric Berzerker..." A scene of another worker [who was recognizable as Jimmy Jacobs] came down and smashed through the crate...

"So, evil of NWATNA, prepare to meet your doom, in the form...of the Peacemakers!" A large comic-like blurb showed up on screen...

"THE PEACEMAKERS

Coming soon to NWATNA..."

(40) After that one, I could only get one thought in my mind...

(DUDE- that is SO cheesy! Like '60s Batman and shit, ya know?)

Shelley: (Oh, yeah, sure, coming from a guy who let them give him an Adam Ant gimmick? What were you thinking there?)

(At least mine has no risk of running...you know the problems there...)

Shelley: (Settle...they're already claiming it's all special effects...now, to just hope I won't need to do too much...) I left for my match while Alex kept thinking...

(spontaneous flashback...)

I still remember when I heard the news. I remember my parents taking me to the master...

Older man: "Now, Alex, you should be happy about this...you've been given a great power, and this man will teach you how to use it properly..."

Master: "Do not worry, Mr.Shelley, I will teach your son how to help his power and focus in a normal life as well..." Once there, I had worked towards doing what my master said. I apparently did well- he had went towards giving me master-level courses at controlling my power for them. For nearly 8 years, I harnessed my skill, until just shy of my 19th birthday...

Master: "Alex...come here, I need you. I am not long for this world, and I needed to give you the most important tool I can: Live your life to the fullest- people with powers like ours are lucky to reach old age. Every time you use your powers, apart from minor stuff like communication, you will shorten your life. It's considered astonishing if a psychic can manage to live even as long as I have...almost like a normal human living to be 100. Do what you want in life now, so that you will never have a regret when you pass on...not...like I did..." When my master died, his words had an impact on me. He was only 42 at the time of his death, and if that was old for a psychic, I knew I hadn't much time for this world. I decided to do what I wanted- go into wrestling, and use my powers as seldom as possible, keeping as much of this borrowed time to myself. Now, getting a push and likely being asked to use my powers to help it...what will I be able to do if I have to pull out my powers in full-force...

(Um...my story, remember?I have a match?

Shelley: (Come on- who reads this for the matches,anyway? )

Just then, "God Save the Queen" hit as Adam Windsor, Hade Vansen, Nigel McGuinness, and Jonny Storm came out to the ring for their matchup with Team America2! A remixed version of Team TNA's theme hit as Danny Hillstead, Jayce Simmons, and Jay Matthews came to the ring with Robert Lowenstein, who took a mic...

Lowenstein: "Ah- apparently you people know true class when you see it..." The crowd booed... "I see you know these three of the truly great parts of America, but as for our other member..." Just then, Tom Goddard's video hit as two explosions of glitter headed through at the top of the ramp... "the new captain of Team America2, from Nashville, Tennessee..." The crowd booed at that statement... "the man who will help take the America's X-Title back to a place which is more suited for it, 'The Adamant' Tom Goddard!" Goddard pranced towards the other Team America2 members as they started the match up...

Team America2 v. Team Britain

Well, this was a pleasant surprise, to say the least. All four workers tended to mesh well enough for an 8-man tag, which helped make the match almost watchable. Each of the 8 members were able to put on at least enough of a show to work this. Nigel McGuinness was able to get Danny Hillstead in a very nice position for himself, and began destroying Hillstead with some decent skills. Just as McGuinness was ready to deliver the finishing blow, Robert Lowenstein grabbed a rowing oar and handed it to Hillstead, who cracked McGuinness over the head with it, then paddled him to add insult to injury. Hillstead went up top for The Finishing Move, but Tom Goddard then proceeded to tag him while he was on the top rope...

Goddard: "You people do NOT have what it takes to finish- let someone with skill handle this!" Goddard then made an arrogant pin on McGuinness, getting the three for Team America2!

(47, 79, 63)

After the match, Team America2 celebrated as Goddard left the four in the ring. A video then started airing...

(INT. A car dealership. A salesman is right in front, with no real discerning characteristics, save for a somewhat large afro...)

"Hello, NWATNA! Kriss Sprules here, and I'm ready to sell you on the next tag team that you're going to cry for! I've managed to sell people on the next big thing in wrestling to the point where Lou Thesz was begging me for new moves so he could stay on top!"

On-screen: "He's lying..."

Sprules: "The team I'm about to give you is one of the best in the world right now-Five Star Attraction. This team is one that's so amazing; they've been seen as one of the best everywhere on Earth, and have even managed to beat at least five alien tag teams!"

On-screen: "They were under NWA-Wildside development deals..."

Sprules: "Take the first member of this team, Caprice Coleman. This guy is possibly the next Shawn Michaels- I can personally guarantee you, the fans, that he's made the Hardy Boyz demand he doesn't work with them so their reputation as the best high flying tag team in the world doesn't get ruined!"

On-screen: "That never happened..."

Sprules: "That's not even counting the second member of this team, Ray Gordy. This worker is amazing- he literally sprung forth from the ankle of the legendary Terry Gordy!"

On-screen: "He's Gordy's son..."

Sprules: "Combined, these two form a team that may be one of the greatest pairs to ever walk the face of the earth!"

On-screen: "Um...I doubt that..."

Sprules: "So take it from me, Kriss Sprules- Five Star Attraction will be the next great team in NWATNA history. Hey...Would I lie to you?"

On-screen: "Um...don't answer that..."

(40)

The Sandman v. Raven

And now we get another of our generic "filler matches"- when in doubt, pick two people and make them fight. Hey, it works for major feds, it works for NWATNA...In this situation, we get almost a mimickry of their great ECW matches...only now, it's different, because NWATNA weakened its booking and turned it into a second-rate series! To add to the fun, it gets bonuses because to finish it, CM Punk...wait for it...he RAN IN! And it was against Raven! Boy, these unpredictable NWATNA bookers...Anyway, Sandman won, who cares...

(78, 80, 79)

(NWA World) Jeff Jarrett v. Sting

Oh, gee...who's going to win THIS one? You have Jarrett, the owner's son...and Sting, someone else...three guesses...Surprisingly, this match was somewhat decent despite that one. No run-ins, no cheap victory, it actually had some semblance of a decent matchup. Until the end, of course, when it degenerated into Kick, wham, (ego-)Stroke, Jarrett wins, All hail the boss's kid! Honestly, I'm still wondering who'd win with this: Jarrett or Triple H...

(89, 83, 87)

Over: 64

Edited August 25, 2004 by Reflecto

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Meanwhile, back in 1987, Roderick and his men were finally inside the offices of wOw...

R.Strong: "Hello, ma'am..."

Secretary: "Do you have a meeting? Mr.Richter is a very busy man..."

R.Strong: "Oh, yes...yes we do..." Roderick pulled out a card...

Secretary: "Um...why does this say it's for October, 2004?" Sedrick slowly hit Roderick...

S.Strong: "Dude, why'd you do that? You're the time traveller here..."

R.Strong: "Just wait... Um, he was scribbling the stuff, forgot the year. Honestly, that guy's got his head in the clouds..."

Secretary: "Okay, just one moment..." The three waited a little bit, as Dexter sprung his plan into action...

Dexter: "Um, guys...I think I forgot something in the car, and the doors were locked...HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME...?" Memphis Raines then headed over to Dexter...

Me.Raines: "Okay, then- hold up while I get the keys, I'll come with you to get it."

Dexter: "Sorry- this is important- I've got to get it myself..."

Mi.Raines: "Sorry, but our ride's pretty big for us- we aren't letting you in, you freak..."

Dexter: "...and now look at my peaks!" Dexter tried to make a muscle but failed as Robbie Richter came out...

Richter: "Thanks, Mrs. Hardy- ah, come in, Mr. Strong, is it? " Roderick called to the Raines two...

R.Strong: "Come on, guys- I need you two for this one...give Dexter the keys and let's get out of here..." Fast and Furious passed Dexter Hart the keys as they headed inside Robbie's office...

(Meanwhile, in 2004...)

wOw Sin

Your hosts are RD Reynolds and Tony Schiavone.

As the show started up, Tom Goddard headed into the ring with his wOw World Heavyweight Title accompanied by Steve Evans and Jocelyn Richter. Goddard took a mic...

Goddard: "Hello, Rhode Island! Now, I know that everybody has seen the living proof that I deserve this bad boy right here..." Goddard patted the wOw World Title as he continued. "...but I was looking through the last few things, and I realized that I still need a challenge again. When you've beaten almost everyone who had a claim, things get boring. I want a challenge, and I want one as soon as possible!" Just then, the Stampede Bulldogs came to the ring with Nattie Neidhart. Harry Smith grabbed a mic...

Smith: "Now, hold on just one minute, Goddard. You know as well as I do that I deserve another shot at your title..."

Goddard looked at him...

Goddard: "Excuse me? Last I heard, this belt doesn't belong in the hands of crappy legacies...we keep our legacies with talent, thank you very much...go peddle your wares to WWE and get out of wOw..."

Smith: "...I'm sorry, but I think the world would rather it be in the hands of the son of a true legend, Davey Boy Smith, than in the hands of some broke-ass Jeffrey Golden wannabe! The East Coast Title will go into my hands tonight, and then, I will do the noble act of handing that piece of tin over to the AWA so it can be trashed like the rest of your federation!"

Goddard: "You...want that stuff?" Goddard looked at Evans and Richter: "You two are as bored as I am tonight, right?"

Evans: "Sure..."

Richter: "You got it..."

Goddard: "Well, my friends are just as bored as I am, so I'll give you a little...wager. Tonight, you three will get a chance to appear in a Best of 3 Series. If you want to get MY title, you'll have to win two matches- Harry, you will have to go through my boy Steve here..."

Harry smiled...

Smith: "That's fine with me...I'm cool with kicking both of your asses tonight..."

Goddard: "That...who is she again?"

Richter: "Stop getting her confused with her father..."

Goddard: "Sorry...anyway, she will face off with the lovely Jocelyn here, in a match to be determined...and that just leave TJ Wilson, apparently. TJ, since we're the only two left in this..." Wilson's eyes lighted up...

Wilson: "I get a shot at you tonight?"

Goddard: "Oh HELL NO! I beat your ass 1-2-3 second round of the tournament, you don't deserve a chance to get this bad boy! Don't worry, though, I'll make sure that there's 3 people who will provide more than enough challenge for you tonight: In fact, to help you prepare, I'll name them. You will fight one of wrestling's TRUE Unstoppable forces..." The fans put out a "Goldberg" chant at that... "...one of the WWE's most LEGENDARY Superstars..." An equal "Hogan" chant started up... "...and to add to that, one of Japan's most legendary superstars!" Some smarks named a few different ones there, but who cares what smarks think after all... "I trust you'll get an equal workout to me..." Wilson looked angry as the show went to break.

(78)

After the break, Jamie Kogyaru came to the ring carrying her National Women's Title. Kogyaru took the mic...

Kogyaru: "Um, like, I thought that, like, since Tom was so willing to go after a challenger, or some junk, I should, like, do the same, so if anyone's willing to, like, come after this title...get out here, okay? Okay..." Just then, "Barbie Girl" hit as the fans groaned while Mr.Productive Anal Virginity came to the ring...

Reynolds: "Oh, no...not this guy...how is he allowed in the Women's Division, anyway?"

Schiavone: "IT'S STING! IT'S STING! WE'RE OUT OF TIME, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!"

Reynolds: "Serenity now..." Mr.PAV took the mic...

Mr.PAV: "HELLO, THWEETIES! You know thomething, thweeties, the true wOw Inter-Gender Champion and NEXT National Women's Champion Mr.Productive Anal Virginity is a LOT like Campbell's Soup...WE BOTH COME IN A CAN!" The bell rang...

(National Women's) Jamie Kogyaru v. Mr.Productive Anal Virginity

Okay...who in the hell booked this matchup? If it was a way to test if Jamie Kogyaru was worth putting in the men's division, it failed- Mr.PAV is nowhere near good enough for a match. If it was to put the fear of god in wrestling fans that the only legit Women's title in wrestling could be held by a male worker, it failed as well. The only things that worked on it were any potential comedic value (which also failed- Kogyaru's just too damn good to be used in comedy matches.) The biggest fear nearly happened as well, as Sharon Goddard came in and hit a huge LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! on Kogyaru. Seeing his spot, Mr.PAV followed with a Lou Thesz Press on Kogyaru (that the announcers called the Dick to the Mouth), getting a pinfall to massive heat...

Reynolds: "Oh, no...Not this...I'd sooner have Bradshaw as champ than this..."

The fans started throwing garbage as Mr.Productive Anal Virginity held up the National Women's Title, until an official came to the ring and talked to the referee. The referee then took a mic...

Referee: "Ladies and gentlemen, an official for whacked Out wrestling has just informed me that since Mr.Productive Anal Virginity is a male, he is unable to compete for the National Women's Championship- therefore, the match must be thrown out, and the title returned to its previous champion, Jamie Kogyaru!" The crowd cheered as Kogyaru took back the title while Mr.Productive Anal Virginity started throwing a fit!

(32, 62, 47)

The Nobodies v. The Cannonball Commission

This match was billed as for number one contendership to the Tag Titles, and it worked well. The Cannonball Commission seemed to get larger, as I noticed Canadian worker Vance Nevada, an android, and some female I hadn't seen before [who the announcers didn't make note of to boot] follow them to the ring. Well, only in wOw, I guess...The two teams managed to put on a decent show out there, as I expected they could: The Cannonballs and Nobodies both tend to bring the goods in the ring. The only thing that surprised me was once again the ending, as Hawk Younkins rushed the ring and pulled Jared Steele off of the apron, then started whaling on him as security rushed to Steele's aid. Without his partner, John Roche was easy prey for a quick No Name Face by The Nobodies, getting them the win.

(54, 81, 67)

Mr.Pogo v. Forest Yuhas- hardcore

Sometimes, it's always nice to just throw out what would work well for booking, screw storylines, and just send two random badasses out there to rip each other to shreds in a hardcore match. This was no exception, as Mr.Pogo and Forest Yuhas managed to perform a surprisingly decent (well, by Mr.Pogo standards) match. Yuhas had nicer moves than Pogo, while Pogo...well...he swung his chain very well...Forest Yuhas soon took the advantage on Pogo. Yuhas proceeded to take the advantage, as he put a chair on Pogo's stomach and headed to the top rope for a Frog Splash. Unfortunately, Pogo was right near his original corner, managing to get out from Yuhas, sending him into the steel chair. As Yuhas was in pain, Mr.Pogo proceeded to take a swig of kerosene, then spit fire at the prone Yuhas, stopping the match!

(43, 78, 60)

After the break, Sugar Man was in the ring carrying his Cruiserweight Title. Sugar Man took the mic...

Sugar Man: "C'mon, gimmeanopponent, gimmeanopponent- wannagettofight, wannagettofight...fightmeFightmeFightMeFightMEFIGHTME!"

Just then, the "All Your Base" megamix hit as 57U came to the ring...

Sugar Man: "Yougonnafightme? Yougonnafightme? YouwannafeelthezoomzoomtotheSugarRush? Huhhuhhuh? C'mon,fightmeJimmy,fightmeJimmy..."

57U took the mic...

"0h, j00 w1ll 63T 4 m4Tch...8ut j00 w1ll n0t f1ght m3..." Just then, a referee brought out T3H K36...

Sugar Man: "Waitaminutewaitaminute! Thatthingcan'tbeunderthecruiserweightlimit! Itcan'titcan'titcan't!"

Sugar Man v. T3H K36

A referee then came out with a scale, after which T3H K36 was placed on it...

Referee: "A little over...Sugar Man, 57U, will you do the honors of lowering T3H K36's weight?"

57U: "1'd r4th34 h4v3 th353 p30pl3 d00 t3h h0n0rz..."

Sugar Man: "Yeahletthemdoitletthemdoit!"

Just then, 57U waved his hand to the crowd as a number of people were allowed into the ring to drink from T3H K36. The impromptu keg party continued until Sugar Man took the mic...

Sugar Man: "Okayokayit'sfineitsfinestartthematch!" The referee rang the bell as Sugar Man checked his opponent...

Sugar Man: "It'sempty! It'sempty!" The referee called for the bell as Sugar Man got the victory!

(43, 78, 60)

After the break, TJ Wilson got in the ring as the Best-of-3 match started...

Wilson: "Okay, okay...who the hell are my opponents?" Just then, Tom Goddard showed up at the top of the ramp...

Goddard: "Well, I guess it's time for me to put up or shut up. Without any more gilding the lily and with NO further adieu, I give you, the three men who are most skilled to fight my...esteemed opponent. First off, I would like to introduce you to our first of his opponents- come on, Rhode Island, I know you're out there- Give it up for one of wrestling's TRUE unstoppable forces..." Just then, the wOwTron ran out with a huge sound... "ME BUTTERBEAN!" Just then, Butterbean came out to the ramp and shook hands with Tom Goddard...

Goddard: "Yes, folks, that is our first of three opponents here, the most dominant force of wOw today, Butterbean! Don't worry, TJ, he has a weakness..."

Butterbean: "...But I'm not telling YOU! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Goddard: "Well, as for our second of TJ's mystery opponents, I have fulfilled my promise yet again. Ladies and gentlemen, would you give it up TWO TIMES-TWO TIMES, for one of the most legendary Superstars in WWE history..." Just then, the lights dimmed once more. Suddenly, "Hava Nagila" hit over the wOwTron as Barry Horowitz came to the top of the ramp, patted himself on the back, and shook hands with Butterbean and Goddard!

Goddard: "Yes, this is great, folks- first Butterbean, and now Barry Horowitz...honestly, this is making me all verklempt inside...but now, the third of your opponents, and this is a big one, seeing as he's making his wOw and American debut right here...a true legend on the other side of the Pacific, it's an honor for me to be allowed to introduce him...the man, the myth..." The lights went dark, save for one sign on the wOw Tron that came through in kanji, then moved around to form in English:

"STALKER> YOU"

Just then, the team was completed as Stalker Ichikawa came to the ring and shook hands with the other three as the fighters headed towards the ring!

TJ Wilson v. Butterbean, Barry Horowitz, and Stalker Ichikawa

Okay...for the flashy entrance the three got, someone forgot to mention that the three are, well, jobbers. And job they did, as each got to do their trademark stuff. Butterbean started up the attack on TJ Wilson, using a flurry of nice stiff punches and no-selling...until, of course, Wilson got a hit towards Butterbean's navel, sending him out of the match and leaving Horowitz and Ichikawa to fend for themselves. Horowitz was actually able to fend for himself for a large portion, managing to work well with Wilson. However, Horowitz soon stopped to pat himself on the back, leading to a Code Blue by Wilson onto Horowitz. This left it as Ichikawa v. Wilson. Ichikawa used some nice technical wizardry to put himself in the matchup, but nothing Ichikawa used seemed to work- even a Kanchou by Ichikawa only managed to get a short 2 count. Once there, another Code Blue was academic as TJ Wilson managed to get the improbable win against 3 men!

(41, 63, 52)

After the match, the three had headed back to the locker room as Barry Horowitz took a mic...

Horowitz: "Wait...Stalker, is it? I know your reputation..." Ichikawa started to smile... "You are the greatest jobber in Japan..." Ichikawa started to frown... "while I...I am the greatest Jobber in the United States..." Ichikawa shrugged his shoulders..."Do you not see? The world wants us to form a team the likes of which has never been seen, and we will call ourselves the World's Greatest Jobber Team!" Ichikawa shook Horowitz's hand as the two headed back and Sin went to break...

Jocelyn Richter v. Nattie Neidhart

WHEN OVERPUSHED LEGENDS' DAUGHTERS COLLIDE~! This match was extremely poor, and I'm honestly not sure who's fault that was. It's a shame that, when I've seen decent matches from both, the two together ended up on the same level as your average women's match. The ending was too predictable as well, as Richter got a relatively easy win following a quick 9.0 (Stratusphere into a Tornado DDT.) Fairly par for the course...

(47, 59, 53)

Harry Smith v. Steve Evans

Okay. This is what it all comes down to. A 1-1 tie in a Best of 3 series, with the challenger for the World Title facing off for a shot at the champion on Flagship...oh, for pete's sake, Stevie Wonder could see where this is going, man! Look, it's so obvious once it goes to 1-1 that the challenger's going to win the rubber matchup, so it doesn't even matter what I write. (Hell, who cares what I write anyway.) Harry Smith won, making sure to CHEAT TO WIN~! (get it? Because he's the HEEL here! How original!). After the match, the Stampedes and Neidhart celebrated as Sin ended.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Meanwhile, back in 1987...

Richter: "So, you four want to get booked here, don't you? Look- we can't pay too much- WWF's really taken off, they're getting all the East Coast bookings. If you want the opportunity, that's fine, but as for money..."

R.Strong: "Don't worry- we're not here for money, and the opportunity's just okay..."

Richter: "Oh, really? Then why did you stop in here for that?"

R.Strong: "Well, you wouldn't believe me if I told you..."

Richter: "Try me, wise guy..."

R.Strong: "Well, you see- me and my friends here are time travellers from the year 2004. We came back to stop some things from happening that we don't believe should happen, you see..."

Richter: "I'm supposed to believe that? Come on- if you're from the year 2004, then who's the Heavyweight Champion of wOw?"

R.Strong: "Oh, that's easy...Goddard, of course..."

Richter: "Huh...? Sharon Goddard? You mean to tell me that I pushed an ugly, vanilla brawling bitch to the World Title 17 years from now?"

R.Strong: "Oh, no- I'm talking about her younger brother Tom...HE'S the Heavyweight Champion in wOw..."

Richter: "A...4-year-old...is my champion? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

S.Strong: "Sir, if I may interject, he's not 4 years old in our time..."

Richter: "Oh, sure...I suppose this magical 4-year-old is going it alone there, right?"

R.Strong: "No, he's managed by your daughter..."

Richter: "Well, of course, because every good toddler champion needs a proper 3-year-old valet! Honestly, do you people even watch whacked Out wrestling? There's no way I'm letting my little princess in the ring, and there's even less of a chance of me booking a Goddard and a Richter, regardless of age, as allies in this federation!"

Mi. Raines: "Well, don't ask us what you did..."

Richter: "Oh, come on- I need a laugh. First you tell me I booked Sharon Goddard's toddler brother to the Heavyweight Title, then you tell me I booked my baby girl as his manager...tell me more, oh wise time traveller...who is the President of the United States? Anyone from 2004 will know that one..."

R.Strong: "Oh, that's easy! The President of the United States is a big, dumb Texan who only got where he is because of shady stuff in Florida!"

Richter: "You mean to tell me they elected Dusty Rhodes President?"

R.Strong: "Oh, this isn't going anywhere..."

Richter: "Oh, come now! Enlighten me on these great things for the future, oh wise one! What's next...Kevin Sullivan running for office against him...?"

S.Strong: "No, it's a different douche from Massachusetts, sir..." Robbie Richter started laughing as he kicked the people out of his office...

Richter: "Come back when you have a gimmick the people will believe!"

R.Strong: "Well, that couldn't have gone any worse..." Just then, Fast and Furious noticed the empty spot where their car was parked...

Me.Raines: "Um...it did..."

(Meanwhile, in 2004...)

AWAMLW Underground

Chris Dobbs v. Tony Mamaluke

Well, at least AWAMLW is managing to put on some good matches to begin their shows...this one was another one of their fairly straightforward cruiser-style matches going on. The crowd tended to teeter back and forth between the established heel from ECW in Mamaluke and the AWAMLW heel in Dobbs. Mamaluke got the victory somewhat easily, due to the unwritten rule that all ECW guys can never ever lose on the indy scene. No biggie- as long as these two go at it again, it'll be a good thing...

(48, 82, 58)

After the match, Joey Hamm was in the ring waiting for his scheduled opponent. Just then, Todd Shane's voice appeared on the AWATron...

"It didn't take me long...but now, me and my brother will be back on everyone's lips..." Just then, the two came to the ring in the garb of their most famous gimmick...

Styles: "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THE JOHNSONS ARE BACK! HOONANCONRANA!"

Joey Hamm v. Richard Johnson

What the hell is the booker smoking? I'm not talking about the Johnsons gimmick- that was too Russo for this. I'm talking about putting a Shane Twin in the ring in the first place. Joey Hamm's decent, but he's no miracle worker, and this showed it. Richard Johnson seemed out of place for this one, as Hamm's skill led to it being more than just a weak comedy match (well, save for when I actually winced as I saw Hamm hit a stiff German Suplex that nearly bent Johnson in half...too close for comfort, I guess...) Hamm got the win as the result of his nice Endless Sorrow finisher, which is really the most logical move they could do.

(55, 65, 54)

After the break, Chance Beckett hit the ring...

Beckett: "Okay...I've been hearing a lot of talk that just because I'm Cruiserweight Champion, I don't have any business being in the tournament to become number one contender. Well, I guess the best option here is to show you I mean business, so any heavyweight out there who wants a piece of me, bring it on!" Just then, Scoot Andrews came to the ring as we had a match!

Chance Beckett v. Scoot Andrews

I'm shocked. A "random challenge" that actually came out looking good. I don't know what it was (well, besides Andrews and Beckett r0xx0ring), but this ended up as a match of the night and a definite reason to push Chance Beckett harder. The two kept going with a very nice matchup. Chance Beckett got the win- nothing but a good thing, as Beckett's the one who's most ready for the huge push (and has the active angle ready for it.) Either way, I wouldn't be surprised if this is a preview of a future World Title feud in AWAMLW...

(60, 92, 68)

After that match, Court H. Bauer was in back with Vader...

Bauer: "Okay...I ask you to demolish ONE person...just one scrawny little cruiserweight, and you can't handle even that? What the hell is wrong with you! You're supposed to be one of the world's great monsters! Well, no matter...tonight, you're going to go out there, and I'll find you someone who can beat the killer instinct back into you!"

Low-Ki v. Vader

*sniffle* If only everyone could stay in their prime...if this was Vader circa 1993 against Low-Ki, then this would have been an amazingly violent brawl. Of course, we would have had to deal with Tony Schiavone saying Vader was from the mountains instead of a baseball team, but those are the breaks. In this one, it seemed more weak, as Low-Ki just went with all of his stiff kicks (but not kicks like X-Pac, but a kick-based moveset smarks could like...) on Vader, with Vader trying desperately to stay in the match. Low-Ki was able to get a victory here, but really- watching Vader like this is just sad in a way.

(79, 79, 70)

Finale v. Christopher Daniels

The announcers kept hyping this as a non-title matchup...almost assuring that Finale would get the victory. At the very least, the match was an awesome show, as the likely styles clash between Daniels and Finale seemed to be less than I had feared. The two began putting on a number of moves, with Daniels providing the show while Finale kept it violent. However, since it's a non-title match, it's only natural Finale gets a win- this time, the result of the bookers keeping Daniels strong following a Potsmoker run in. Afterwards, the two Death Eaters celebrated in the ring as Daniels fought back...only to be joined by Terry Funk in the attack! The four brawled backstage as the show ended...

(88,90,80)

[Styk]

Interesting trivia note that only about 1 person who reads this will actually care about: Despite being pushed enough in the original wOwfed that she became the "main" female character in wOw Memorial, this is the first time that Jocelyn Richter has ever won a title in any of whacked Out wrestling's incarnations.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Mi.Raines: "Okay, let me get this straight...we're in 1987, people think we're crazy, and we LOSE OUR RIDE? You better be paying us back, Roderick! That thing's worth more than your life, capiche?"

Me.Raines: "Besides that, how the hell are we going to get out of here? That car was our ticket home!" Roderick looked at the two...

R.Strong: "Chill out- just give me a second..." Roderick then bowed his head and disappeared. A couple seconds later, he showed up with some slips of paper...

R.Strong: "I guess I forgot to mention- I don't need a car to travel us back in time- most of it's just for looks and to make it seem more logical."

Mi.Raines: "But...but what about our fucking car, Roderick! You BETTER be paying for that..." Strong passed Michael Raines the papers...

R.Strong: "I just needed to make a quick stop on that- that's what these are for. Go ahead- they're Microsoft stock, straight from 1982. Sell those once we get back home, you should have plenty of money to replace that car. Now, let's earn our push- grab hold of me and wait. We'll be going about 3 weeks in the future; that's apparently the next show for wOw here. Let's earn our push!"

All: "Gotcha..." Sedrick, Memphis, and Michael grabbed hold of Roderick as they went back...

[meanwhile, back in 2004...]

Before the show, Eric Bischoff was in his office...

Bischoff: "Now, ladies and gentlemen, tonight will be a great event for all of us. You see, throughout my history with wrestling, I've found one thing that I just ALWAYS get off on, and that's stealing my opposition's workers. Remember all the people I stole from WWF back in the day? Same with ECW, and I never needed them. That's why tonight is going to be great, because during the last week, I managed to convince a large group of people from that...other show to defect to the ONLY entertainment in wrestling, Eric Bischoff's Monday Night Raw. Now, I can't wait to announce some of these people, so let's get on with the show!"

WWE Raw

After the pyro hit, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler were talking...

JR: "This looks like a big thing, King! If Bischoff's telling the truth- who KNOWS who Raw will be able to sign here!"

King: "I just hope they signed Sable or Torrie! PUPPIES!" Before Lawler could get through this, Bischoff headed to the ring...

Bischoff: "Now, I hate to gild the lily that much, so that's why it is my pleasure to start out the people in the Exodus from Smackdown. However, as part of this move, as with the rest of my dealings, it was necessary for me to promise our steals a match with ANY worker on Raw that they wanted. Therefore, I would like to call out York and Matthews right now- YOUR JOBS DEPEND ON IT..." York and Matthews came out to the ring with Alexis Laree to some good pops, posing for the fans along the way...

Bischoff: "Now that the opponents are in the ring, it is my honor to present the NEWEST tag team on Eric Bischoff's Monday Night Raw- Ladies and Gentlemen, please give it up for the two baddest men on Smackdown: SAKODA, SUZUKI- KYO DAI!" The Kyo Dai theme hit as Sakoda and Suzuki headed down to the ring for their matchup...

(45)

(Extra wOw Memorial Bonus: Their history on Smackdown:

For almost one year on Smackdown, Kyo Dai had been one of the most vicious groups in the lower midcard. With Akio and Sakoda watching Tajiri's back, it seemed like no one could have stopped them. The dangerous nature of this team was enhanced when the team added their vicious third member, Suzuki in April of 2004. This enhanced the team, with Tajiri managing to make some serious waves in the Heavyweight division while Akio began to make some noise as a major threat to the Cruiserweight Title. However, the success of these two members began to make Sakoda and Suzuki angry, coming to a head on Smackdown's Summerslam matches when Sakoda and Suzuki abruptly turned on Tajiri, costing him his closest shot yet to win the United States Title. This led to a major match a few weeks ago on Smackdown where Akio showed his loyalty to Tajiri, after which Sakoda and Suzuki hadn't been seen...until now, when they signed with Raw. This was a wOw Memorial Update, so let's get back to the action...)

Kyo Dai v. York and Matthews

Well, if a team is being debuted here, it's always a good idea to have arguably the class of the tag team division face off with them first. In this case, York and Matthews helped out immensely- I hadn't been impressed with Sakoda or Suzuki before, but this match made them look much better than they used to. This move actually could end up being a good thing as a result- the two Kyo Dai members's skills look tailor-made for the more heavyweight-oriented Raw. However, York and Matthews got the advantage, as Joey Matthews managed to get an Ace Crusher on Sakoda. However, just as Christian York went up for a Senton Bomb, Shannon Moore came down to the ring wearing a dress for some reason, then proceeded to lay into both of them as the ref threw the match out! Afterwards, Moore took the mic...

Moore: "Matt...Matt! Where are you, Matt? I know I did wrong, and I'm sorry! Come back to me, Matt, and I promise that it'll all be better again...I need you, Matt!"

York: "What the hell is he on again?"

Matthews: "Don't ask me..."

(62, 80, 71)

After the break, Mark Henry and Rodney Mack came to the ring accompanied by Theodore Long for their matchup. Long took the mic...

"LEMME HOLLA AT YA PLAYA! Now, a lot of people been talking to me, asking, 'hey, Theodore, why you be claiming you gonna get out of the game if yo' true Playa's Club don't win the Tag Titles?' Well, this should be obvious to alla' y'all- we ain't gonna lose until then. I got the true strongest man in the world, my boy Mizark, watching the back of the only person who can be thuggin' and buggin' on Raw in Rodney Mack, and I know these two gonna make sure I get mine, B'LEE DAT!" Just then, the Darkness' Children came to the ring for their matchup...

Mark Henry and Rodney Mack v. The Darkness' Children

Decent brawl matchup to start, with the two teams of mediocre workers working somewhat well together. The Darkness' Children focused more on Mark Henry, taking the World's Strongest Man down with a series of nice moves. Henry tried to play world's biggest, most worthless Ricky Morton clone for a little bit, as Seven and Bane totally dominated him. Just as it looked out of reach, Henry made the tag to Rodney Mack. Mack proceeded to lay into both opponents with nice power moves and brawling before locking the Blackout on Bane to get the big victory!

After that break, Eric Bischoff came out to the ring again and took a mic.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time once again for me to announce the second of our major new signings for Eric Bischoff's Monday Night Raw. For his chosen matchup, I'd like to begin this by calling out X-Pac!" X-Pac headed to the ring to a scattering of boos and "X-Pac Sucks" chants. "Now, this one, from what I've seen, should be someone who can give us a major somebody- someone who, if this contract's correct...is someone I've traded to them, and managed to get back! Now how's that for a steal?" The crowd started a scattered "Big Show" chant to this one... "So, let's give a warm welcome back to Eric Bischoff's Monday Night Raw to...The Big Show!" However, nothing happened... "Um...The Big Show!" The crowd was silent... "Goddammit, where's that contract again! I was told The Big Show had agreed to jump!" Bischoff looked around for it, until the TitanTron hit, "WELL...WELL IT'S THE BIG SHO!" Kaientai's theme then hit as Funaki headed out in a black singlet and took a mic...

Funaki: "Bischoff: You get it wrong- contract no say 'The Big Show'- it say you newest superstar- 'The Big Sho'! That's right- Funaki, Smackdown NUMBA ONE Announcer, is now, Raw new NUMBA ONE BIG...NASTY...BASTARD!"

JR: "What the hell is going on here? That's...that's Funaki!"

Lawler: "Indeed, JR, Indeed!"

(Extra wOw Memorial Bonus: The history on Smackdown of Funaki...

Since January, Funaki's basically been running the same course, doing backstage interviewing on Smackdown and spot jobbing on Velocity. However, around June, the WWE began to feel like Funaki's gimmick had gotten stale and decided to change his gimmick, with the theoretical intent of teaming him in a comedic tag team with The Big Show on Smackdown. However, an injury to The Big Show took that idea out. Already planning the gimmick idea out, the WWE decided to try an innovative new idea- instead of sending Funaki down to Ohio Valley Wrestling to give a test run to his new gimmick, the WWE rented him out to various indy federations around the US for that purpose. Once the WWE felt the gimmick was worked enough to do this, they called Funaki back, but in order to keep a difference, Funaki was sent to Raw to give some added workrate in the lowercard!)

(75)

X-Pac v. "The Big Sho" Funaki

Well, at least the match that resulted from this monstrosity was fairly good...I'm still surprised they went with this gimmick for Funaki- according to my sources, it was shit on all over the indies, save for in the really gimmick-heavy territories like Memphis and Providence. Apparently, that's enough for the WWE to put a gimmick like this on Raw...but what can I say, X-Pac had his best match in years, so at least there's a plus to this. The two really managed to mesh well, which is always a good thing on it. Of course, Funaki got the win here, the result of a faked Fisherman's Buster that was turned into a Chokeslam. Not too bad...

(65, 89, 77)

Meanwhile, after the match, Lance Storm was WALKING~! to the ring for his shot at the Intercontinental Title. Just then, he was accosted by Shane Goddard...

Goddard: "Hey- listen. I don't like you, you don't like me. But before you go out there, I just have one request...."

Storm: "Shoot."

Goddard: "Last time we fought out there, those guys in Evolution screwed us both over. They kept you from winning the number-one contender, but they did the same for me- and at least you've held that belt before. My only request from you: When you go out there, if you win the Intercontinental Title- I get the first shot. You got me?"

Storm: "If you're challenging me- I'm in. Pencil me in for next week- I am NOT going to let that punk beat me again." Storm continued on towards the ring...

JR: "That match is next!"

(INTERCONTINENTAL) Maven v. Lance Storm

Well, this was just par for the course...from what I've seen, I still don't get this one. Maven's usually just good enough to pass by, but he doesn't mesh well with Lance Storm for this feud to work. Storm has been putting on good matches, but they're all just decent, none ever great enough to be worthy of the Intercontinental Title. The two are never unwatchable, though, which isn't too much of a problem. Unfortunately, Storm lost his chance at getting to show the fans something good again, as Maven CHEATED TO WIN~! again, then ran off carrying his title. Not too bad, but hopefully this feud will end soon enough to start on some of the other deserving people in the IC division.

(83, 77, 81)

(WORLD TAG TITLES) Simon and Swinger v. Goddard and Blackman

Well, this was another awesome matchup...I always knew Simon and Swinger were awesome, but I keep getting surprised at how well Shane Goddard and Steve Blackman have gelled together. I guess it is possible to be a breakout star in wrestling when you're over 30...The two teams kept going, as Simon and Swinger kept their decent work going while Goddard and Blackman kept teetering (come on, WWE- the fans seem to be begging to cheer these guys, just make it happen, why don't you?) Goddard and Blackman managed to get Johnny Swinger where they wanted him, as Goddard started walking on the ropes for the Godd-Hand. Steve Blackman hit an Axe Kick on Swinger...but Dawn Marie managed to hit the ropes, sending Goddard off and right into Blackman. This was enough for Simon Diamond to get a pinfall, keeping the belts!

(66, 88, 77)

After the break, Eric Bischoff came out to the ring once more and took a mic...

"And now it's time for us to introduce the final of our new signings here to Eric Bischoff's Monday Night Raw. Before I do, however, I would like to introduce the chosen opponent..." Just then, Rico headed to the ring.

Rico: "Um...WHY do I have to do this again, Eric? I mean, I just got my hair done, I just got my nails done- I am in just NO shape to wrestle tonight..."

Bischoff: "Well, that's okay- if you don't like your job, that's fine- be my guest..."

Rico: "I'll suffer in silence..."

Bischoff: "Tonight, we have the final person in this large amount of workers we managed to steal from Smackdown. I would like to introduce our final person to join the WINNING team here...ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the newest star on Eric Bischoff's Monday Night Raw: CHAVO CLASSIC!" Just then, Chavo Classic's theme music came on as he headed to the ring to a chorus of boos...

Classic: "Hey- what you trying here, man? You all boo me, but I just out here giving you the good stuff, man? Like this- come on, Eric- I so happy you give me this opportunity and stuff, I give you deal- some good Coke Classic man, right here. I got it, you get it for free this time- you want some of this, man? Deal don't last long, knowwhatI'msayin'?"

Bischoff: "That's all right...here...talk to him..."

Rico: "Oh, why give ME that guy? I mean, HONESTLY- coke is SO '80s..."

Classic: "You badmouth my product? I give the best Coke Classic on the market, man...you want some of this? I'ma beat you so bad- you, you gonna wish I didn't beat you so bad!" Chavo Classic then attacked Rico as the match started...

(wOw Memorial Bonus: The History of Chavo Classic on Smackdown...

In February, Chavo Classic was a major signing to help his son, Chavo Guerrero Jr. in his feud against brother Eddie Guerrero. After helping Chavo Jr. win the feud with Guerrero, the two were on the rise. A short United States title reign in May did nothing to stem the problem for these two. However, Chavo Guerrero Jr. was blind to the extras- Chavo Classic took the huge level of success his son had and sold Coke Classic on the side. When Eddie Guerrero found out of this, he managed to fight off Chavo Classic. Despite his frequent warnings, it took a chance GTV segment of Chavo Classic selling his wares to get Chavo Jr. to sever his ties to his father, after which he wasn't seen for two months...)

(56)

Rico v. Chavo Classic

Okay...this is a big one. An old, past his prime guy...and Chavo Classic. Sadly, at least Rico was still able to go, as Chavo Classic was definitely not able to work this stuff, ending up in a comedy style, with Chavo trying to get to his Coke Classic while Rico attempted to attack. This led to a comic squash- not a bad thing, as Rico is at least the one who can work of the two. Fairly poor matchup- hopefully now Chavo Classic will stick to out of ring stuff...

(43, 66, 54)

After the break, Rene Dupree headed to the ring with the rest of La Resistance. Just then, Scott Steiner headed to the ring and took a mic...

Steiner: "Big Poppa Pump is your hookup...Holla if ya hear me! Now, I don't care what you little punks to in your spare time, but once we get in the ring, you see the power of the most dominant man in the WWE today! None of your little French antics can go against the power of me, cause the Big Bad Booty Daddy don't care about that stuff- all I need are my Freaks and my Peaks, baby! HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME! PRAISE TALSUM!"

JR: "Another great show for Scott Steiner- channeling the nature of that WWE legend Dexter Hart..."

[Meanwhile, in Minneapolis, our hero was watching Raw while waiting for his Underground matchup...]

Okay...something is DEFINITELY going wrong here. First off, I'm the one who this is supposed to be in the viewpoint of, and I'm not in an episode off screen for nearly 3 weeks, and now this? The WWE's namedropping that freak Dexter Hart, and saying he's a WWE legend? Something doesn't add up right...

Rene Dupree v. Scott Steiner

Well, this was just barely watchable...Dupree's still a few years away from his prime, and Steiner's too far past it for any use towards this. The match was mostly watchable due to La Resistance's zany antics outside the ring in attempts to help Dupree out. Finally, Rob Conway managed to do so, allowing Dupree to hit an EXPLODAH~! Suplex for the victory here. Not too bad for what it was.

(78, 75, 77)

Benoit, Jericho, Cena, The Hurricane, and Rosey v. Evolution (HHH, Shawn Michaels, AJ Styles, Batista, Ric Flair)

Well, at least now this surprising elevation of The Hurricane gives two more potential people to join the "all faces like each other, or at least enough to fight Evolution" brigade...The five kept fighting with their vast array of different styles, while Evolution used their MAGICAL HHH AND HIS CRONIES POWER~! to stay in it. The one thing that surprised me, however, was the end of the match, as HHH...jobbed...cleanly...to Hurricane. This was just a shocker to me, as I thought HHH wasn't allowed to lose to anyone...ever. Isn't that the rule of Raw? However, hopes of parity were soon ended, as all of Evolution beat down Hurricane as Raw came to an end!

(84, 80, 82)

[RavenBlack]

LMAO. I read a couple of pages before Raw, then returned afterward and have been reading just about nonstop.

I swear, when I reached Tom Goddard's debut with TNA, I had to read it about 10 times through. I was bewildered. I was actually expecting Rico.

You actually succeeded in making Christopher Daniels even worse than Triple H. I never thought that was possible...

AND you kept Alex Shelley as far away from Goldylocks as possible. That's only a good thing.

Wonderful. This native Vermonter salutes you.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

(meanwhile, back in 1987, after travelling in time to about 3 weeks later, our time-displaced heroes made it to the latest show...)

Mi.Raines: "Um, Roderick- not to defend that little car thief punk, but don't you think we should have hunted him down before going back?"

R.Strong: "Don't worry about it. He took your car, he gets the risk. By now, he should have realized the punishment his fate gave him..."

Meanwhile, about a thousand miles away at that point, Dexter Hart was leaving a diner to his car, only to find it replaced by a top-of-the-line 1987 vehicle of a similar make and model with very little mileage on it...

Hart: "This will be great- a car like this will ASSURE I'LL GET LAID EVERY NIGHT...no more beehives for me...HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME! Now, to make sure that EVERYONE will RESPECT BRET HART..." Meanwhile, back at the 1987 wOw show...

R.Strong: "Let's just get in here and get out- I don't want to spend more time than necessary in the past..." The four bought their tickets and headed into the show. Eventually, they spent some time in the stands.

S.Strong: "Now, let's look for any young kids who would appear to be the people who basically run wOw in ring in 2004..." After a little bit, they saw a 10-year-old boy wearing a Robbie Richter shirt sitting with a small girl on his lap...

Me.Raines: "I think I'm close here- I'm not certain..." Just then, the girl spoke...

Girl: "Where's mommy and daddy, Brad?"

Brad (10-year-old): "Don't worry, Jocelyn, they'll be here in just a little bit...you're aware what I told you, right? They're just playing out there- don't be scared..."

Jocelyn: "Yeppers!" After overhearing it, Fast and Furious sprung into action!

Mi.Raines: "We got visual confirmation on one of them! Do you have the tools: Find a way to get them together...do you have the Chicago CD for a proper sappy power ballad that'll get stuck in their heads and help them remember it?"

Me.Raines: "Um...dude...it was in the car..." Meanwhile, in the newer version of the car Dexter was driving...

Hart: "Stupid cassettes...They're meant for freaks and now look at my peaks..." Hart tried to make a muscle but failed...

S.Strong: "Don't worry- I thought this would happen- I found an open car and picked up a cassette for us to lipsynch to when we get there. It'll be a little different, but still..."

R.Strong: "No problem, bro. We'll take the girl, you guys find the guy..." Fast and Furious looked around, until a matchup started. A younger version of Sharon Goddard headed to the ring to almost no applause, save for a few scattered cheers (including the Strongs and Raineses...)

(Meanwhile, backstage...)

R.Richter: "Wow- that's a pretty good reaction for Sharon Goddard- it might be worth having her stick around after all..."

Mi.Raines: "Go to the other ones cheering- this should be one of her first matches, so the only others likely to cheer would be..." Fast and Furious headed over to the others to see a small boy being held by a somewhat young looking woman, then made a sign to them...

S.Strong: "Say, Roderick...one question. How the hell is this supposed to help them out in the future if we do this?"

R.Strong: "Well, really...um...uh...it'll make their memories that much clearer...it'll really help out...by...um...memories..."

S.Strong: "How again?"

R.Strong: "Just suspend your disbelief like the readers and do it..."

S.Strong: "Okay, I guess..." Sedrick Strong then proceeded to "accidentally on purpose" spill a Tab on the younger Brad Richter's shirt...

Brad: "Gnarly...I need to go have the merchandise people give me a new free shirt...be good, okay, Jocelyn?"

Jocelyn: "Yeppers, Brad!" Jocelyn sat by and waited as Roderick whispered to her...

R.Strong: "Hello there...are you watching your first wrestling match, little lady...?"

Jocelyn: "Nope! I get to come all the time, Mr.Man- in fact, that's my mommy in the ring!"

R.Strong: "Oh...too bad...you see...I heard your brother talking to you, and you should know...he was lying. That girl's really trying to hurt your mother really badly..."

Jocelyn: "NO! DON'T HURT MY MOMMY, MEAN LADY!" Meanwhile, in the ring...

Sharon: "(Um, Mrs.Richter...your daughter seems to be angry at what I'm doing- you might want to make your comeback...)"

Mrs.Richter: "(Strange- I thought Robbie and I smartened her up...Okay...)" While Mrs.Richter made a short comeback in the ring, Roderick kept talking...

R.Strong: "You might want to go and hide- that girl said she's going to get you too afterwards..."

Jocelyn: "Hold up...you're a stranger...mommy and daddy told me to never go with strangers..."

R.Strong: "Your mommy's in the ring getting beaten up by a mean girl, and you think I'm someone to worry about?"

Jocelyn: "Okay, then- let's play!" Jocelyn headed off to hide underneath the stands as Fast and Furious kept their actions...

J.Goddard: "I can't believe you dragged me out here...honestly, why are we giving money to that jerk Richter again?"

A.Eckstein-Goddard: "Oh, come on now, John, honey- we're trying to show some support to Sharon in her new venture...dead-end as it may be..."

J.Goddard: "I'm going out for a cigarette...hold on..." John Goddard left as his wife was approached by Memphis Raines...

Me.Raines: "Wow- Annie Eckstein? I heard great things about you back in the day...could I have an autograph?"

A.Eckstein-Goddard: "Strange- I didn't assume I had fans..."

Me.Raines: "Oh, come on- my older brother thought you were the cutest female he had ever seen- got me into East Coast stuff because of your work...(NOW!)" Michael Raines headed over to the young boy near him...

Mi.Raines: "Hey, kid- you like cars? I've got this really nice car, and I'm trying to show them off..."

Tom: "Hey...you're not one of those ...molesterers, are you?"

Mi.Raines: "Of course not- I'm just a guy trying to share some tasty popsicles that my friends are keeping cold under the stands over there..."

Tom: "YUMMY!" The younger Tom Goddard headed over there, only to find Jocelyn sitting there in front of the Strongs and a boombox...

R.Strong: "Okay, press play, Sedrick..." Sedrick proceeded to press play, only to hear...

"WE BUILT THIS CITY...WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL...

Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll >>

R.Strong: "(Why did you pick that? Idiot!)"

S.Strong: "It was the first tape I found..." The song kept going as a stream of images occurred...

Now Lipsynching: Roderick Strong

Say you don't know me, or recognize my face

Say you don't care who goes to that kind of place >> Scenes occur of toddler versions of Joey Hamm and Greg Burch beating up kids in the sandbox...

Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight

Too many runaways eating up the night >> Scenes of toddler-Jayce Simmons, Jay Matthews and Danny Hillstead beating on a tin can while various toddler girls (including toddler forms of Lori Angel and Jamie Kogyaru for some reason) start to swoon...

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember

We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll

Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll >> Scenes of a younger Court H. Bauer attacking a toddler Brandon Downard, who cries and says... "I'm gonna tell my mommy on you, and she's gonna get some big guys to beat you up...and powerful dudes...and Greeks...you know, TODDLERS FROM GREECE?" after which really big toddlers in togas come in and beat up Bauer...

Now Lipsynching: Sedrick Strong

Someone's always playing corporation games

Who cares they're always changing corporation names >> Scenes of a toddler Jimmy Jacobs playing in the sandbox as a toddler Becky Bayless runs over and glomps him. Jacobs then pulls her hair and yells "HUSS!" Bayless cries and runs off...then glomps Jacobs again!

We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage

They call us irresponsible, write us off the page >> Scenes of a younger Butterbean playing Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. Suddenly, Little Mac comes out of the screen and hits him in the navel, sending him down!

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember

We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll

We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll

Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll >> Scenes of a toddler Jared Steele and Vance Nevada playing together, after which a toddler Hawk Younkins runs over and attacks the two of them. A toddler Ms.Hardy comes and hits him over the head with an Alphie with MICKIE-KNUCKLES's face on it , then the three run off...

Now Lipsynching: Memphis Raines:

It's just another Sunday, in a tired old street

Police have got the choke hold, oh, then we just lost the beat >> Scenes of a toddler Mr.Productive Anal Virginity dancing with Michael Jackson.

Who counts the money underneath the bar

Who rides the wrecking ball in two wild guitars >> Scenes of Sharon Goddard in the ring just going and dancing- as Mrs. Richter rolls her up for a pin.

Don't tell us you need us, 'cos we're just simple fools

Looking for America, coming through your schools >> Scenes of younger versions of The Hardy Boyz dancing with Imagi [Matt specifically doing the robot...]

Now Lipsynching: Michael Raines

Out on a gorgeous sunny Saturday, I've seen that low amount of traffic)

Don't you remember (remember) >> Scenes of the younger Brad Richter at the merchandise stand as a younger Shane Goddard heads over to buy something. The two mutter "idiot..." underneath their breath as they head off in opposite directions...

(Here's your favorite radio station, in your favorite radio city

The city by the bay, the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps) >> Scenes of George W. Bush meeting up with Dusty Rhodes...

Bush: "Wow, Mr.Rhodes- this is an honor- how do I become as powerful as you?"

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember

We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll >> General scenes of wOw workers in Toddler form dancing around until the song fades out...

(Warning: To take away any possible confusion that resulted from this [mostly seen by assistants who will remain nameless], it is important to say: It's unlikely the roster knew each other on this level beforehand. [but hey, who am I to let continuity get in the way of good spots? If Hanna-Barbera could do it all over the '80s with stuff everyone knows, I sure as hell can in something only about 10 people will read...])

After the song ended, the four looked around...

"So...did it work?" Just then, the younger Jocelyn Richter headed over to the younger Goddard...

Young girl: "Hi, there. I'm Jocelyn- my daddy runs this federation for a living. He's really cool..."

Young boy: "Hi...I'm Tom. My sister's in the ring. She's mean and stuff..."

Jocelyn: "AAAAA! You're not gonna beat me up like your sister did to my mommy, are you? She was trying to hurt her and stuff..."

Tom: "Um...no..."

Jocelyn: "Okay! Let's play- daddy says he knows how these things turn out... He must be psychic or something, because they always end up that way! Isn't that weird?"

R.Strong: "YES! Gentlemen, consider ourselves pushed! Now let's get back to our time!"

Mi.Raines: "Um...shouldn't we at least look for that Dexter Hart guy?"

Me.Raines: "Dude- he ganked our ride- let that mofo rot in 1987 for all I care. Come on, I wanna get back to 2004 and cash these babies..." The four grabbed hold of Roderick Strong and headed back to our time, mission apparently accomplished...

(To Be Continued...)

Edited September 9, 2004 by Reflecto