The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 6, 2005

I proceeded to head forth and get to the wOw offices. I knew there was supposed to be a pretty big Valentine's Day celebration there, so I made a point to get there as a result. Once I got there, I was instantly bombarded with a number of different women bearing chocolate...

Sharon: "Here you go, bro...your typical friendship-choco for this year..."

Thanks, sis! <---

Like I REALLY need that...I am a BIG superstar...

"You're welcome, Tom! (SUPER SECRET MOE-MOE INCREASE)Oh, by the way- have you seen Jamie around? Um...I have some for her...due to how well our feud went..."

"I haven't ran into her yet- I'll tell her you're looking for her, though..." [CHOCOLATE COUNT: 1] I continued on my way through the back, finally managing to find the line Mrs.Richter had. Robbie was passing out little packages of fudge, eventually coming up to me...

Thanks, Mr. and Mrs.Richter...

After all the money I've made you, this should be obvious... <----

I'm in love with your daughter!

I'm in love with your son!

Robbie: "Well, of course, Tom...you really came into your own over the last year. Now we're really raking in the cash for wOw. Kudos! Now, we've got a lot of people on roster to give friendship-choco to, so you'll need to talk to us later..." Seeing the line go through, I proceeded to head to a certain point and just wait for the women to come to me because that's just how it works in cutesy dating sim-esque stories like this. Eventually, the trickle started to come through... [CHOCOLATE COUNT: 2]

Kari-Chan: "TOMMY-KUN!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been looking all over for you, yeppers, uh huh, waiting and stuff. I wanted to give you my happy love-love choco, cause I loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou..." Kari started glomping me as I took her chocolate and was happy. I mean, the first true love-love chocolate I had gotten on Valentine's Day was a big thing...

Thank you...so very much...<---

Why'd my first love-love chocolate have to be from you?

BO DIDDLEY WAS A GUNSLINGER!

Kari-Chan: "It was nothing, Tommy-kun...I had to show the endless love-love I have for you...*glomp*" I proceeded to hug her back. I figured, her being my first chocolate giver wasn't that bad after all. Just then, another girl came over...

Lori Angel: "Yeah, okay, Tommy...here's yer bloody chocolate, complete with me love-love for ya!" I looked down to see a package of Reese's Cups, complete with a "3 for 1.00" tag on them.

It's perfect... <---

Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?

BO DIDDLEY WAS A GUNSLINGER!

Just then, Lori pulled out a Sears catalog...

Lori: "EXCELLENT! Then for White Day I want this...and this...and this...and don't forget this..." Lori kept going through a list of things she wanted as I proceeded to lose myself in thought. Eventually, someone else came through, this time Lollipop in a long trenchcoat..."

Lollipop: "Oh, Tom...I just HAD to come up here and give you your true Love-Love Chocolate..." Just then, she opened the trenchcoat to reveal her wearing nothing but a large amount of frosting on a...very revealing position of her body... "Won't you eat it here for me...?"

Of course...let's get down to business!

YIKES! You're ten different kinds of freak, you know that? <----

BO DIDDLEY WAS A GUNSLINGER!

Lollipop: "Damn straight I do...now get down there and eat the chocolate!" I made a break for it- somehow, performing a sex act on a girl who the girl I love hates in my beloved's home is a bad thing. I made a mental call to the only person I could think of for this situation...

Alex: (Your request is loud and clear, Tom!) Just then, Alex headed over to Lollipop and ran interference while I got away, finally managing to head to the back...where I was accosted by yet another...

Raven: "Oh, Tom! I had some extra chocolate from the great love-love chocolate I made for my onichan, and I figured- you've been taking good care and getting him great bookings, would you like some friendship-chocolate from me?"

Sure, I'll take it... <----

Why would I want it? It's got icky girl germs and stuff!

BO DIDDLEY WAS A GUNSLINGER!

Raven: "Yay! Here you go..." (Just then, RavenBlack headed over to Reflecto... "You're not going to have Love-Love Increase on my character in this story, are you?"

"Um...no, ma'am..."

RavenBlack: "Good...I don't wanna attack...) Raven floated her friendship-chocolate over to me, as I added it to my stuff. Eventually, I was found by some others...

Jamie: "Um...Tom...? I've got...some chocolate for you...since you've been so helpful to me this year..."

Chocolate...for me? Really...?<---

Why would I want chocolate from you?

BO DIDDLEY WAS A GUNSLINGER!

Jamie: "I should have guessed you wouldn't want it...wait...you said yes? Well, here you go!"

"Thanks...oh, by the way- my sister said she had some chocolate for you due to how well your feud went..."

Jamie: "Thanks...that's nice to know!" Jamie headed off to find Sharon, who unbeknownst, had overheard some of the conversation before walking off...

Sharon: "I knew it! She's got a crush on my brother! I can't BELIEVE this stuff! Why would he do something like that to me- his own sister? I just..." Sharon left the building as Jamie kept looking for her. The day kept going as normal. Eventually, it ended. I finally met up with Jocelyn as everyone had left...

Jocelyn: "Oh, Tom! Where were you? I was looking for you..." Jocelyn pulled out some chocolates... "You see...I didn't feel I could give these to you in front of everybody, so I went out to get these made...I'm not sure if I cooked them well, or at least not as well as my mom makes them..." I tasted the chocolate...and it was, to tell you the truth, wretched. She must have switched salt with sugar, mayonnaise with butter, soda with milk, and a million other things to make it some of the worst chocolate I had ever tasted...but...I knew it came from her...so...

It's the best I've had all day... <--- (OUT OF OPTION 1...NEW OPTION?)

ARE YOU INSANE? THAT SWILL IS INEDIBLE!

BO DIDDLEY WAS A GUNSLINGER! <<<

Jocelyn: "Excuse me? What does that mean?"

"I dunno...must be a side effect from all the chocolate I've eaten today..." Just then, I saw Jocelyn with some anger markers next to her head and her fist in the air...

Jocelyn: "HOW...MUCH...CHOCOLATE...DID...YOU...EAT???" I had to tell the truth of the amount of girls who gave me chocolate that day.

Jocelyn: "FINE! I hope you know that this was entirely friendship-chocolate, and had absolutely NO iotas of love-love in it,then!"

"Big whoop-like I'd want love-love chocolate from someone as NOT CUTE as you are!" I saw Jocelyn take out her giant paper fan and proceed to head towards me. Geez...how could this Valentine's Day get much worse?

That Friday, at the Flagship tapings:

Tom Goddard got in the ring and took the mic...

Goddard: "Now, LET ME TELL ALL YOU FANS SOMETHING ABOUT STEVE EVANS. Steve Evans...if there was a Pimp of The Nation, Steve would be that. Steve Evans manages to pimp the girls with the big tush, while I am left pimping Barbara Bush..."

Meanwhile, backstage...

Jocelyn: "You know, you were really mean going to all the ringrats you were with for chocolate, Steve..."

Steve: "At least I didn't try to poison Tom with my attempt at love-love chocolate..." Jocelyn started blushing...

Jocelyn: "But...but...I never said I was a good cook..."

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 8, 2005

Excuse me while I pinch myself.

I might not be that heavy with words right now- it's still a little surprising to think about. Who in their right mind would ever believe that as of this moment, me- some little wrestling brat from Rhode Island, could be the reigning AWA World Champion? This is just something that is not supposed to happen to people like me. It's supposed to happen to other people in wrestling. I guess that's why you have to take risks- they're what turns other people into you. I was still in too much of a daze by both how much energy I used in the match and the entire blur that comes post-winning one of the three major World Championships. I tried to sleep, but I was still way too excited for that to occur. I just felt like screaming out my joy to the world- who wouldn't? There's not a wrestler in the business who didn't grow up imagining themselves as the champ, and I did it at a younger age than anyone else in history. What could I do for an encore now? I have reached the top of the mountain, and the view is just incredible. The ride down to Nashville was almost like what I couldn't think of- me making sure to pump the gas and go inside for the food, the title on my shoulder as I got a surprising amount of congratulations from passing motorists (apparently, even the ones who hated me respected the match me and Christopher put on. I have to thank him for giving so much for this to be a good match.) Once we got to Nashville, I expected it to be a little bit more subdued due to being in "enemy territory"...I was wrong. My car was SWARMED with people trying to get to me after the match I had had, which is always a good sign- you know you did well when you get the other boys to mark out following the match. I looked around the back for Jocelyn, finally seeing her in the back getting finished with the stuff from her match. I pulled her scrunchie out from my pocket and offered it to her, only to see her rush over and glomp me with Kari-Chan like ferocity...

Jocelyn: "WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO DO A MOVE LIKE THAT? YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN PARALYZED..."

"I...I had to make the match memorable...."

Jocelyn: "Memorable...is sound psychology. Memorable...is safely throwing Daniels off the cage. Memorable...does NOT mean...effectively BASE JUMPING from the top of a metal cage to a cement floor with small padding!"

"It sure got you talking about the match, didn't it?" Jocelyn looked at me, then started crying as she hugged me again...

Jocelyn: "...Baka..."

"Hey- I knew nothing would happen to me. I promised you I'd return your scrunchie, remember?" Jocelyn looked at me...

Jocelyn: "Tom...I...I..." Jocelyn put her head up as I saw three choices come near me...

KISS HER<----

YOU DUMBASS, SHE'S PRIMED! KISS HER!

OKAY, YOU ARE A FLAMING FUCKING PUSSY IF YOU DON'T KISS HER RIGHT NOW- YOU HEAR ME?

"Jocelyn...I..." I went close to kissing her- only to see Robbie, the Peacemakers, and the other Team America2 members brandishing cameras!

Richter: "Finally, I will have a proper heir to the crown of the whacked Out school of Professional Wrestling and Anything Goes Mixed Martial Arts!" Jocelyn grabbed a mallet...

Jocelyn: "What are you talking about, daddy...?"

Richter: "Nothing...pumpkin...please put the mallet down..." Jocelyn proceeded to take a giant paper fan in one hand, a mallet in the other and go apeshit, attacking her father (STOP SPYING ON ME!), the Peacemakers (I STILL OWE YOU SOME PAIN FROM YOUR MOLESTING MY BODY WHILE IN CONTROL OF IT, ALEX YOU ECCHI!), and Team America2 (YOUR GIMMICK IS A RIPOFF OF 3 COUNT AND IT DOES NOT FIT WELL AT ALL WITH TOM'S GLAM ROCKER GIMMICK TO LEAD THE STABLE!) I got the idea that the moment probably passed, as I took my leave...

Jocelyn: "Ah...nothing like a good attack to get my blood pumping...where'd Tom go? Pagyuu...and I thought he was going to...that he would..." Just then, I heard the show start, as I made my way to the Gorilla position to watch...

NWA: Total Nonstop Action

As TNA started, Jerry Lynn headed to the ring to a great array of cheers holding his NWA World Title. Lynn proceeded to take the mic...

Lynn: "Thank you, thank you...this is a great honor for me. It's always a great thing to be supported as the person who gets to be the standard bearer for the World Title that has the longest history in the world, the NWA World championship. It's been a thrill to hold this belt up and get to be the one in charge, and I only hope that I can continue to be at a level worthy of being able to be called the best in the world today." The crowd cheered at these statements. "There is a new era in NWATNA right now. An era where the champion does NOT use who his daddy is to duck worthy challengers, an era in which X-Division and non X-Division workers have the same chance to get World title shots, and an era in which the champion is willing to truly take on any person, any place, at any time!" The crowd cheered all of these things. "In fact, tonight, I plan to make my first title defense, and I plan to do it in order to give the fans something they would want to see right here in this very ring. I know that the only way for me to get better and prove my worthiness as a champion is to fight people worthy of title shots, and fight the people who I have yet to beat. To that end, I would like to call out the group that cost me and my team the America's X-Cup...Team America2."

Tenay: "What would he call out the entire group for?"

West: "Maybe he wawnts an awtograph, Tenay!" Just then, Team America2's theme hit as Robert Lowenstein (with a strange ball on top of his head) led Team America2 (with Simmons, Hillstead, and Matthews having matching balls) out to the ring. Lowenstein took the mic...

Lowenstein: "What is this about? The US-2 is a VERY busy group- we've got a lot of things to do, you see...shows to perform, groupies to romance, the typical things for world-renowned superstars..."

Lynn: "Oh, don't worry...you guys can wait up. This is between me and your in-ring captain, no more, no less..." Just then, Tom Goddard headed up to Jerry Lynn and yawned...

Goddard: "If this is about joining with us, we're full...may I suggest the Nickelback cover band over at the chicken wings place down the street, Jerry..."

Lynn: "I see...too bad. I called you and your little butt-buddies out here to determine the first challenger to my NWA World Championship. But, I suppose that you're not interested, so you can go back to whatever restroom you were trolling for rough trade at..."

Goddard: "I am intrigued...explain..."

Lynn: "Well, I looked through every member of NWATNA, trying to find the perfect first opponent to make my way against for the World Title. From a rematch with Jeff Jarrett down to Chris Vaughn and everyone in-between, everyone was considered for this role. And then I came to your name, and I realized who I wanted as my first challenger...but it is NOT YOU!" The crowd cheered as Goddard looked pissed.

Goddard: "Well...well, a mere LESSER like you doesn't DESERVE to get in the ring with the ELECTRIC JESUS...so THERE!"

Lynn: "Oh, GET OVER YOURSELF!" The crowd cheered that line. "I don't want to wrestle some preening, prissing broke-ass Ziggy Stardust as the first person to get a shot at the NWA World Title. However, I have heard tell of a different Tom Goddard out there. I heard tell of a Tom Goddard who was given a bum rep somewhere in Minneapolis, and was silenced and had his legs cut out from under him many a time. I've heard of a Tom Goddard who knew of his own mistreatment, and set out for greatness at the tip of a magic wand, so to speak. I've heard of a Tom Goddard who, when the chips were stacked so far against him that all he had left was his closest friends, he fought on. And finally, last night, I've heard tell of a Tom Goddard who walked into a lair with everyone in an entire promotion against him, and walked out last night as the AWA World Champion!" The crowd cheered that last bit of news... "I know that somewhere in you is THAT Tom Goddard, and THAT is what I want. Tonight, I want to give these fans something they'll never forget...the NWA World Champion, the AWA World Champion, one on one, Title versus Title! WHAT SAY YOU?" Jerry Lynn put out his hand...

Goddard: "If those are the standards that you choose to set, young Jerry..." Suddenly, Goddard got a more determined look in your eyes... "I'm cool with it. I became the youngest World Champion ever last night, I'm more than willing to become the first man to ever hold two World Championships at the same time!" Goddard shook Lynn's hand as the crowd went nuts...

Tenay: "I do not believe what we're seeing, folks! This is the biggest main event we've had in NWATNA history! Jerry Lynn, the reigning NWA World Champion, will go one-on-one with Tom Goddard, the reigning AWA World Champion! This is the first Title versus Title match between two major federations since 2001!"

(77)

After the break, Goldylocks was backstage with her men...

Goldylocks: "All right, boys...tonight is going to be a big...big...BIG...night for us. I've got another worker who thinks they can go one-on-one with our true Unstoppable Force, John Walters, but beyond that, I've got something even bigger. Do you know what that is...?"

Walters: "..."

Young: "Fleet Week came early?"

Goldylocks: "Unfortunately, no...but tonight, I WILL get my chance to take the Miss TNA Title I deserve, when I give that goody-goody bitch Richter what's been coming to her for a long time now! She thinks she's so big..."

Walters: "..."

Goldylocks: "This will be no problem- I mean, we all know who the true class of the women of TNA is...right?"

Walters: "..."

Young: "Um...you?"

Goldylocks: "There's hope for you yet..." Goldylocks left to get ready for her match...

Walters: "...Whatever."

John Walters v. Chris Hamrick

And the feeding of random workers to John Walters continues, as Chris Hamrick proceeded to be this week's fed worker. The match, to be nice, was only vaguely watchable, much like many of John Walters's matches in TNA are. Honestly, I'm surprised that they even keep Walters around sometimes, much less give him the Jesus push that they've given him. Pretty blah matchup for the most part- Walters dominates, Sharpshooter, victory, blah blah blah. Nothing new to see here...

(49, 70, 59)

(X-TAG) Five Star Attraction v. The Peacemakers

And the random matches continue, as Five Star Attraction v. The Peacemakers match part umpteen occurs tonight for the X-Tag Titles. Seriously- are there any other tag teams in the division? This match was basically the same as every other 5*/Peacemaker match was- Peacemakers fight cleanly to take control in the beginning, 5* use Kriss Sprules interference to take the advantage, things get pretty even. The only thing that was remotely different was the ending, as instead of Sprules helping interfere to the 5* advantage (which would be a great catchphrase for the team and here I am throwing it out to the wolves), The Bambikiller came down the ramp and attacked Kid Psycho. The Barbaric Berzerker tried to help him out, only to have Crazy Sexy Mike come from the stands and attack him! The two beat down the heroes, leaving them able to be caught by an Asiatic Spike by Ray Gordy for the win. After the match, The Bambikiller took the mic...

Bambikiller: "It looks like you puny heroes have yet another loss to your records...thanks to the pure evil power of The Bambikiller and my lackey, Crazy Sexy Mike! BWAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Crazy Sexy: "Yes, master...now, let us retire to your lair and plot our next scheme to destroy those Peacemaker fools..."

(43, 82, 62)

( X-DIVISION) Jason Cross v. CM Punk

Okay- why is the crowd not reacting as much to Jason Cross? He's got the character, he's got the skills, and in all likeliness, he should have caught fire by now. However, TNA's idiotic view of putting him up against strong heels in the X Division title picture has led him to go into second gear, which is really a shame if there ever was one. A heel like Cross deserves to go against faces, but it seems like most of the true X-Division faces seem to be leaving for the Heavyweight division or greener pastures. CM Punk had the advantage through most of the match, as the announcers sold his versatility in going from X-Division to Heavyweight matches almost effortlessly. However, his skill in both was cut short by CarWreck rushing in and clocking CM Punk with a chair, allowing Jason Cross to hit the Crossfire for the big victory. After the match, Cross celebrated- until CarWreck attacked him as well, standing above his opponents triumphant. Not too bad a matchup, even if the heel-heel thing didn't work...

(54, 84, 69)

After the break, Greg happened to see me as I was watching the match. I tried to ignore him and wait- after all, I heard Jocelyn's match was next, so I had to show some support.

Burch: "Hey, Tom- congratulations on last night...so, the dirtsheets were true after all- you did become a World Champion sooner rather than later."

"I'm sorry...did I hear something?"

Burch: "I'm just trying to congratulate you- honestly..."

"Don't worry. It's something big. Now, you might find some trouble getting something like this...I mean, I fought and got screwed over a lot to get the belt. You might find that easier to do, I take it..."

Burch: "Very funny...I'm just trying to bury the hatchet, you know?"

"Try getting a bit more respect for the business- and yourself before trying that shit with me. Got that?" I saw Greg leave as he yelled out to me,

Burch: "Yeah, so what! I guess the AWA was right- you HAVE changed, Tom! You used to be cool..." I could have fought that, but then I realized- why bother with jerks like him who sleep their way to the top? I decided to watch the rest of the show...

(MISS TNA) Jocelyn Richter v. Goldylocks

Tenay: "This should be an excellent matchup- these two women absolutely hate each other, and will do whatever it takes to win this match!"

West: "Well, awl girls hate each otha, Tenay! This stuff ishn't new, ya know?"

Match: Okay...TNA has it in for the Rhode Island wrestler. This is the second time I've seen them take a Rhode Island product who could be considered one of the best in the world of their gender in the art of wrestling and proceed to make them carry TNA eye candy. The match was horrific as a result, as Goldylocks's untrained skill did not mesh with Jocelyn Richter's outright skill at working. Richter proceeded to take the advantage, because, you know, skill always takes the advantage. Goldylocks then proceeded to break the masquerade by being able to fight back (as even the fans seemed to get that Goldylocks was outclassed in the ring). Thankfully, this wasn't the way of things for long, as Richter managed to hit a 9.0 for the victory. After the match, Jocelyn Richter celebrated...only for Goldylocks to take the mic...

Goldylocks: "You think you've won...well, I've found someone to take you down for me. I've found the baddest bitch on the planet to destroy you. I give you, and the rest of these fans of TNA...SUKEBAN!" Just then, a largeish woman in a mask came out and hit Jocelyn Richter with a huge LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!, then hit a Vertibreaker on her as the show went to break...

(64, 33, 54)

After the match, I headed over to the new signing. I recognized the gimmick immediately, and headed over to the person behind it...

"So, sis, I see you got picked up by TNA, huh?"

Sharon: "Yeah- they apparently liked what they saw of me when I had my tryout a few weeks ago, and they think I can get Jocelyn over as more of a face from this. So anyway- how does it feel to be a World Champion?"

"Basically like it was before I was the champ, only...cooler, I guess."

Sharon: "Well, don't let it go to your head- that usually happens with younger World Champions. I don't want to see you become some arrogant little prick because you got the strap put on you at 21- that could ruin your career before you really get started. I know you're good enough to do this, but just treat it like it was just another prop. You got me?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Sharon headed off as I proceeded to watch the show...

D'Lo Brown v. Sting

Okay, this was a surprisingly decent matchup. I thought D'Lo Brown and Sting would work fairly well together, but this was not surprising if only due to how hot the crowd was for it. This wasn't a surprise that they'd get hot for the match, as D'Lo and Sting are both fairly well-known workers. When the two are also able to go, that just adds more skill to it. D'Lo Brown got the victory here following a Sky High, which was not a bad thing as well- if the younger worker goes over, that is not a bad thing.

(82, 75, 79)

After the break, Jeff Jarrett was backstage...

Jarrett: "This is going out to that pretender to the throne Jerry Lynn. I thought you were supposed to be a fighting champion, but then you go and give some punk a Title shot over giving me the rematch I so deserve following my...surprising upset last week? I'm the King of the Mountain, I deserve to have a rematch for MY NWA World Title sooner than these other people! So I'm making a challenge for my title shot ASAP, and if Jerry Lynn is the fighting champion he claims to be, he'll give us my title! Now choke on that, Slapnuts!"

Jeff Jarrett v. Konnan

And the surprising great matches continue, as Jeff Jarrett and Konnan managed to put on a world-class matchup. The two proceeded to mesh fairly well for their skill level, doing a match that was surprisingly well for this considering how low their game's fallen recently. It seems like Jarrett is trying to prove he deserved to get the World Title back by putting on some good matches for this, which is nothing but a good thing for NWATNA. Jarrett got the win following a Stroke- something that was expectable, as I doubted they'd give him two straight losses to deal with.

(78,88,83)

(NWA TITLE v. AWA TITLE) Jerry Lynn v. Tom Goddard

WOW. Now if THIS is what we can expect from the matches under Jerry Lynn's title reign, here's hope that he never loses the strap again. These two workers managed to put on one of the best matches I've seen in TNA, and one that definitely befitted a match billed as Title v. Title for two World Championships. The two proceeded to put on a MOTY candidate that the crowd really got into, really solidifying Jerry Lynn as a World Champion and basically keeping this as the weekend that has made Tom Goddard a superstar in the world of wrestling. A few different spots used these things, as Goddard hinted at reworking the 900 Splash he debuted last night (as if he could ever do that in a normal ring), only to have Jerry Lynn hit the ropes and send Goddard down. The two kept fighting, each kicking out of the other's major finisher (Cradle Piledriver by Goddard, and the My Final Heaven by Lynn.) The two proceeded to fight. However, as the match ended, Jerry Lynn grabbed the NWA Title while Tom Goddard grabbed the AWA Title, and both managed to clock the other with their title belt. The referee made a 10 count, which each got to a 6, but only managed to drape a hand over each other, giving the draw victory. After the match, the two shook hands and raised their respective titles in victory as the crowd cheered and NWA: TNA ended.

(77,100,88)

Over: 73

RavenBlack · March 9, 2005

Team America2 (YOUR GIMMICK IS A RIPOFF OF 3 COUNT AND IT DOES NOT FIT WELL AT ALL WITH TOM'S GLAM ROCKER GIMMICK TO LEAD THE STABLE!) I got the idea that the moment probably passed, as I took my leave...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 10, 2005

That night, Shane Goddard was tired. The partying had continued the night before, and the early-morning flight put him in no shape to wrestle. "I have to tone it down a bit before the big shows", he thought to himself as he headed to the arena for his match. Eventually, Biomonster HOSS and Shannon Moore headed up to him...

Moore: "Let me guess...too much fun over at the other side last night?"

Goddard: "Kind of..."

Biomonster HOSS: "No biggie. Hell, you deserved to celebrate it...even if having a brother who's held a World Title does more to prove you're an old man than anything else..."

Goddard: "HEY! I'm only 31..."

Moore: "Well, still...every girl knows you lose your looks once you pass 30...you're on the downward spiral, Shaney-boy..."

Goddard: "Coming from you, that's...psychotic..."

Moore: "Don't worry...you're still cute enough for my standards...I MIGHT allow you to be seen with me in public if you play your cards right..."

Goddard: "ICK!" Shane left as soon as he could...

Moore: "Aww...he left. Luckily, I have my BIG, STRONG bodyguard here to make sure I get all the love I need, right, HOSS-y WOSS-y?"

HOSS: "Um...do I need to use the mace on you again, Shannon?" Meanwhile, over by Shane's way, he managed to find Bradley Richter who was right there with a couple beers...

Richter: "So...shall we toast to your brother's success last night? Two in one family- who'd have thought it, Shane?"

Goddard: "Maybe after our matches..."

Richter: "So, you able to get in touch with them?"

Goddard: "Nope- he was heading right to Nashville for TNA tonight. I probably won't get in touch with him until at least after tomorrow's RAW- I was going to take a red-eye flight so I could surprise him. I heard tell AWAMLW will be in taped stuff following this match, meaning that he won't be on, so he's getting a bit of a break."

Richter: "Cool, cool. Jeff was supposed to call me some time- I assume he'll have some more info on the match...the announcers usually tend to."

Goddard: "Yeah. It's strange. Your family's the bookers back in wOw, yet me and my bro are the World Champs while your brother and sister are announcers, and you're left in a dead-end gimmick..."

Richter: "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Mr. Broke-Ass Chris Jericho..."

Goddard: "I know. Well, I've got to go hold down the buzz. Your dad says hi, by the way..."

Richter: "Thanks. Pull a quad out there in the ring tonight!"

Goddard: "You too, man!" Brad and Shane shook hands as the show began to start...

WWE Survivor Series: Raw Side (Results given because Reflecto is a lazy fart and too busy watching Kimagure Orange Road to write out these matches.)

The Band [captain: The King of Pop w: Joey Hamm, Nicholas Dinsmore, Mark Henry- The Strongest Man in the World, OVW worker T.J. Ishimori] v. Tough Enough [Captain: Al Snow w: Chris Candido, Keiji Sakoda, Rob Conway, OVW worker Chris Michaels]:

1- T.J. Ishimori eliminated by Chris Candido

2-The King of Pop eliminated by Chris Candido

3-Chris Michaels eliminated by Mark Henry, The Strongest Man in the World

4-Rob Conway eliminated by Mark Henry

5-Al Snow eliminated by Joey Hamm

6-Nicholas Dinsmore eliminated by Keiji Sakoda

7-Keiji Sakoda eliminated by Mark Henry

8-Chris Candido eliminated by Mark Henry- The Strongest Man in the World

Survivors: Joey Hamm, Mark Henry- The Strongest Man in the World

(53, 75, 64)

Metro [captain: Rico w: v. Marty Jannetty, Steve Austin, Biomonster HOSS, Doc Dean] v. The French Phenoms [Captain: Sylvan Grenier w: Sean O'Haire, Christian York, OVW workers Wagner Brown and J.R. Ryder]

1-Doc Dean eliminated by Sylvan Grenier

2-Wagner Brown eliminated by Biomonster HOSS

3-Marty Jannetty eliminated by Christian York

4-Biomonster HOSS eliminated by J.R. Ryder

5-Sylvan Grenier eliminated by Steve Austin

6-J.R. Ryder eliminated by Steve Austin

7-Steve Austin eliminated by Sean O'Haire

8-Christian York eliminated by Rico

9- Sean O'Haire eliminated by Rico

Survivor: Rico

(61, 73, 67)

Basic Thuganomics: [Captain: John Cena w: Kenzo Suzuki, Orlando Jordan, Shane Goddard, OVW worker Jerrelle Clark v. The Front Office [Captain: Vince McMahon w: Crowbar, OVW workers Andrew Hellman, John Roche, Reese]

1- Andrew Hellman eliminated by John Cena

2-Reese eliminated by John Cena

3-John Roche eliminated by Shane Goddard

4-Crowbar eliminated by Kenzo Suzuki

5-Vince McMahon eliminated by Orlando Jordan

Survivors: WHOLE TEAM- John Cena, Kenzo Suzuki, Orlando Jordan, Shane Goddard, Jerrelle Clark

(52, 72, 62)

The Deviants [Captain: Shannon Moore w: John Heidenreich, Sean Casey, OVW workers Jonah Edelman and Onyx] v. The Suckas (Captain: Booker T w: Val Venis, Gangrel, OVW workers Chase Stevens and Alex Shane)

1- Onyx eliminated by Chase Stevens

2-Chase Stevens eliminated by Jonah Edelman

3-Jonah Edelman eliminated by Booker T

4-Alex Shane eliminated by John Heidenreich

5-John Heidenreich eliminated by Gangrel

6-Sean Casey eliminated by Booker T

7-Gangrel eliminated by Shannon Moore

8-Val Venis eliminated by Shannon Moore

9-Booker T eliminated by Shannon Moore

Survivor: Shannon Moore

(56, 75, 65)

Evolution Plus 2 [Captain: Shawn Michaels w: Maven, Rhyno, Scott Steiner, OVW worker Rory Fox] v. Team Xtreme [Captain: Joey Matthews w: Collyer-3000, Jorge Estrada, OVW workers Derek Wylde and Jay Lethal]

1-Rory Fox eliminated by Collyer-3000

2-Jay Lethal eliminated by Maven

3-Derek Wylde eliminated by Rhyno

4-Jorge Estrada eliminated by Rhyno

5-Scott Steiner eliminated by Collyer-3000

6-Collyer-3000 eliminated by Shawn Michaels

7-Joey Matthews eliminated by Maven

Survivors: Shawn Michaels, Maven, Rhyno,

(61, 76, 68)

Evolution Plus [Co-Captains: AJ Styles w: Batista, Viscera, Bubba Ray Dudley, OVW worker Brandon Robinson] v. The King's Court [Captain: Jerry Lawler w: D-Von Dudley, Johnny Swinger, Jonathan Coachman, OVW worker Josh Prohibition]

1-Josh Prohibition eliminated by Viscera

2-Jonathan Coachman eliminated by Batista

3-Jerry Lawler eliminated by Batista

4- Big Viscera eliminated by Johnny Swinger

5-Johnny Swinger eliminated by Brandon Robinson

6-Bubba Ray Dudley eliminated by D-Von Dudley

7-D-Von Dudley eliminated by Brandon Robinson

Survivors: AJ Styles, Batista, Brandon Robinson

(60, 68, 64)

The Jerichoholics [Captain: Chris Jericho w: Grand Master Sexay, Christopher Nowinski, Chavo Classic, OVW worker Cassidy O' Reilly] v. The Shooting Stars [Captain: Billy Kidman w: Bradley Richter, OVW workers Andy Douglas, Andy Van Dam, and Arch Kincaid]

1-Andy Douglas eliminated by Chris Jericho

2-Andy Van Dam eliminated by Cassidy O'Reilly

3-Arch Kincaid eliminated by Grand Master Sexay

4-Billy Kidman eliminated by Christopher Nowinski

5-Cassidy O'Reilly eliminated by Bradley Richter

6-Chavo Classic eliminated by Bradley Richter

7-Bradley Richter eliminated by Christopher Nowinski

Survivors: Chris Jericho, Grand Master Sexay, Christopher Nowinski,

(50, 74, 62)

The Justice League [Captain: The Hurricane w: Simon Diamond, Steve Bradley, Bam Bam Bigelow,The Rock] v. The Corporation [Captain: Eric Bischoff w: X-Pac, Chris Benoit, OVW workers Billy Reil and Aaron Stevens]

1-Aaron Stevens eliminated by Simon Diamond

2-Eric Bischoff eliminated by The Hurricane

3-Steve Bradley eliminated by Billy Reil

4-X-Pac eliminated by The Hurricane

5-Simon Diamond eliminated by Billy Reil

6-Bam Bam Bigelow eliminated by Billy Reil

7-Billy Reil eliminated by The Rock

8-Chris Benoit eliminated by The Rock

Survivors: The Hurricane, The Rock

(68, 74, 71)

The Gamesmasters [Captain: Triple H w: Shane McMahon, Steve Blackman, The Big Sho Funaki, OVW worker Tony Lazaro] v. Team Charisma [Captain: Lance Storm w: Matt Cross, Race Steele, OVW workers Matt Martel and Ruckus]

1-Tony Lazaro eliminated by Ruckus

2-Matt Martel eliminated by Shane McMahon

3-Ruckus eliminated by The Big Sho Funaki

4-Shane McMahon eliminated by Race Steele

5-The Big Sho Funaki eliminated by Race Steele

6- "Magical Boy" Race Steele eliminated by Triple H

7-Steve Blackman eliminated by Lance Storm

8-Matt Cross eliminated by Triple H

9-Lance Storm eliminated by Triple H

(56, 77, 66)

Survivor: Triple H

Over: 65

kale · March 11, 2005

About time Tom got the title:)

The build up was really good.

Edited March 11, 2005 by kale

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 11, 2005

The next night, I was getting ready to make my way back home for a well-deserved long rest. I had heard that AWAMLW was going to be using the taped matches they used for extras to get people into Chicago and Providence for the next couple shows, so I knew I had plenty of time to rest. I headed towards my car, when I was approached by Jocelyn...

Jocelyn: "Oh, Tom- I was wondering. Since we've got so much downtime, would you like to ride with me back home? I know that you might be anxious to get back, but I would like to..."

Sure, I'll go...<---

Come on, we all know you're going to go...

Oh, like I need more of these...

Jocelyn: "Excellent! I'll get in, and we can get over..." I headed towards my car as Jocelyn got in the passenger's seat. I could see Alex yelling in the back, then got a message in my mind...

Alex: "(YOU DICK! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GIVING ME A RIDE BACK!)"

"(Sorry, something major came up...)" I sped off as Jocelyn threw her arm out the window, screaming as we left. I put in the soundtrack CD as we headed through the dark on our way back to Rhode Island. Eventually, somewhere halfway to our destination, I saw Jocelyn yawning...

Jocelyn: "Oh, sorry...I usually get a motel room about this point...would you be willing to stop? I need my beauty sleep, and you can't really get it in a car seat..."

You don't need beauty sleep...

Like it matters for someone as NOT CUTE as you...

Sure, I guess so... <---

Jocelyn: "Excellent!" I saw Jocelyn pick out the proper motel and get a room. Jocelyn gave me a key as I proceeded to enter and get shocked...

"Um...there's only one bed here..."

Jocelyn: "Um...they only had single-bed rooms left. I'm sure this will be fine- I mean, we used to sleep in the same bed all the time when we were kids, right? It'll be just like one of our old sleepovers..."

"I see...(No...it can't be the same as they were...not with how I feel now...)"

Jocelyn: "So come on! Let's rest and enjoy this!" Jocelyn grabbed a tape of wOw Sin and popped it into the VCR...

wOw Sin

As wOw Sin started, the Strong Brothers came up from the ringside area with Nurse Lulu and took a mic...

Roderick Strong: "Okay, we are sick and tired of being treated like second-class workers here just because we're the ring crew! We'll take on any workers who'll oppose us and see exactly how great we are, you hear me?" Just then, a bad country music theme hit as two Klansmen headed to the ring and took the mic...

Klansman 1: "You two little...sissy boys want a challenge? Well, the time has come for the true genetic perfection that only comes from being a white person runs wild on the world! I am Cade Sydal, and with me is my sidekick, Daron Smythe. The two of us were sent here from the most noble association in the world, the Ku Klux Klan, to show the greatness that our way of life has!"

Klansman Daron: "So, whacked Out wrestling: WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN WHITE POWER RUNS WILD ON YOU?"

The Klansmen v. The Strong Brothers

Well, this was a pretty decent matchup. I was surprised at how the Klansmen were able to mesh well from the beginning of their match- if they didn't have the career-killer gimmick of members of the Klan, they might even be able to have some futures in wOw. The Strong Brothers proceeded to put on another fairly decent matchup, which was a good thing as a whole for this. The Klansmen took an advantage fairly quickly and proceeded to use some vicious attacks. Nurse Lulu tried to distract The Klansmen, but the referee sent her back to the dressing room. This gave a position of power to The Klansmen, who proceeded to grab Sedrick Strong and hit a Double DVD on him (which the announcers sold as the Burning Cross) to get the big victory. Not TOO horrible...or, at least not as horrible as the fact that they made a Ku Klux Klan tag team...

(35, 83, 59)

Meanwhile, backstage, Lori Angel was hanging out holding her National Women's Title. Austin Aries came over to her...

Angel: "Eh? Wot do you want?"

Aries: "Well, I was just letting you know that I thought your victory was stellar, and it really led me to ask one question..."

Angel: "Wot? I've got a match, ya know..."

Aries: "Will you...bear my child?" Lori Angel looked at him as if to size him up...

Angel: "Well, I don't associate with losers- win your match and we'll talk, okay?" The camera then cut back to the ring, where Austin Aries was already in the ring via indy cuts. Just then, a huge metal song hit as flames occurred on the wOwTron as Gronda came out to the ring...

Gronda: "GRONDA GRONDA GRONDA! PUNY MORTAL! THOSE WHO THINK THEY ARE ABLE TO STAND AGAINST ME WILL FEEL THE DEVIL TESTICLE LOVE OF GRONDA! GRONDA!"

Gronda v. Austin Aries

Well, this was a pretty good match for the most part. I am honestly surprised that wOw hired Gronda, who my sources tell me is a legitimate demon. Of course, wOw is one of those places where I am not surprised with anything they do anymore, so I don't doubt it. Gronda and Aries actually managed to put on a decent matchup in a old school squash type of way. Gronda basically DESTROYED Aries in the match, making him his bitch for about 5 minutes before putting him away with a nice powerbomb finisher. After the match, Gronda took the mic...

Gronda: "HA HA HA! GRONDA GRONDA! THIS IS WHAT WILL OCCUR TO ANYONE WHO CROSSES ME! YOU WILL FEAR GRONDA! GRONDA!"

(37, 79, 58)

(National Women's) Lori Angel v. Alundra Blayze

Well, this wasn't too bad for a women's match...apparently, Blayze hasn't lost too much of a step when he was off of the major wrestling scene. Angel proved she's good enough for the women's division, which isn't bad, but is still nowhere near the level of being a top-tier female for wOw (where workers like Jamie Kogyaru and Jocelyn Richter have proven they can run with men and do really well for themselves.) Angel got the victory here following the Angel Wings submission hold, which isn't too bad a thing. Pretty par for the course, mostly.

(49, 61, 55)

The Stampede Bulldogs v. The Manilla Thrillaz

Okay, this match was pretty poor. These two teams just didn't mesh that well together or opposing each other. These two teams managed to be as blandtacular as they could be, as Harry Smith and TJ Wilson proved they need a change of scenery at the least (with a possible change to the unemployment line for Harry Smith.) The Manilla Thrillaz managed to get a number of advantages, with P.T.Midnite taking the team a number of advantages for themselves. However, once the referee caught Midnite and sent him back to the dressing room, the Stampede Bulldogs pounced on them. A quick Code Blue on Billy Kim later, and the Stampedes pulled the match off. Eh...

(51, 78, 64)

After the break, Kangor came out to the ring and took a mic...

"GROWL FUCK BUTTERBEAN YOU FUCKING FUCKER YOU FUCKING DARE TO FUCKING THINK YOU'RE FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH TO FUCKING FACE OFF WITH MY FUCKING ABILITY I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF AND FUCKING SHIT IN YOUR FUCKING NECK! GROWL!"

Kangor v. Butterbean

Well, this was fun in a "irresistable force meets...somewhat moveable object" fashion. These two put on a fairly decent brawl for themselves, managing to make the fans care about what should have been a squash. For most of the match it involved Kangor trying to hit his Kan-Gore on Butterbean to the outside, while Butterbean made some STIFF MMA PUNCHES~! on Kangor. Eventually, Kangor managed to get past a punch, Kan-Goring Butterbean straight in the navel and overpowering him, going right through Butterbean as he sold it like death. Kangor got the pin for the victory, then celebrated over Butterbean's body!

(51, 76, 63)

Finale v. D'Lo Brown

Okay. On one hand, you've got D'Lo Brown- never known to be that violent a worker in the ring (save for the Droz incident, of course.) On the other, you have Finale- one of the most vicious brawlers in wrestling today. Question: HOW COULD THESE TWO MANAGE TO HAVE A MATCH THIS GOOD? The two proceeded to kick major ass in the ring together, making for one of the better brawls I've seen in years for it. D'Lo made Finale look like a major superstar, while Finale kept the tempo at a level enough to make it look just violent enough to make you want to see D'Lo succeed. Finale took the advantage, and locked in the Ordinary Vanity for the pass-out victory- not a bad thing, as Finale seems to be the next breakout star to come from whacked Out wrestling, and he needs some good feuds to assure he does that.

(75, 91, 83)

After the break, Veronica Diamond came down to the ring with Steve Evans carrying the wOw World Title and took a mic...

Diamond: "Ladies and gentlemen, last Friday, you saw greatness ascend to its rightful position. On that day, my client, Steve Evans, took the role he deserved and became the wOw World Heavyweight Champion, proving his dominance in this federation! Now, we see a new era here- one in which talent rises to the top for its skill, not for what family they come from! This is an era of parity- an era of freedom..." Just then, a newly made video hit to the song "When it All Goes Wrong Again" as Tom Goddard and Jocelyn Richter headed down the ramp and took a mic...

Goddard: "...and apparently an era when people like you DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP!" The crowd cheered as Goddard continued. "Look- I'll admit that Steve is that good. He beat me, and I won't take that away from him. But you HAVE to know that that match could have gone either way, and the two of us are bound to be able to do well again. If he has any balls left, he'll give me a rematch when I want it for the World Title...so I assume it's about 50/50 that he will, but I digress..."

Diamond: "Well, if you want him so badly, I guess I'll give you a tag match tonight with him..."

Richter: "EXCELLENT! I've been WAITING for a chance to knock the smile off your ugly mug, you bitch!" Diamond looked at Richter...

Diamond: "Silly girl...did you think I would get in the ring and sully myself for the likes of YOU? As if...I give you my newest client for that one, AYAKO HAMADA!" Just then, Ayako Hamada came down to the ring and started attacking Jocelyn Richter as a match started...

Tom Goddard and Jocelyn Richter v. Ayako Hamada and Steve Evans

Scrolling on bottom of screen during match: wOw NEWSBREAK- whacked Out wrestling would like to congratulate new AWA World Champion Tom Goddard

WOW. Now THIS was a match I could get behind- a rarity in mixed-tag matches. Of course, when you consider the females may be two of the best in the world and the males may be two of the better ones in the country as well, this should be expected. Hamada and Evans managed to work well for their first match together, and Goddard and Richter were like a well-oiled machine in the ring together. The match mixed sound psychology with what eventually seemed to become a "Can You Top This" game for all four involved (which really worked more with the feud as a whole. Eventually, Steve Evans missed a move, allowing Tom Goddard to hit a My Final Heaven on Steve Evans- then place Jocelyn Richter on top of him for the three count. After the match, Goddard and Richter celebrated as the show ended...

(79, 86, 82)

Over: 68

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 14, 2005

That night, Jocelyn was nervous as she headed into the bathroom...

Jocelyn: "Okay, okay...you're a big girl now. It's only natural- you can do this. Besides, you know how much you care about Tom...why not let him be...your first? I mean, this is something normal...right?" Jocelyn looked out to the outside as Tom was waiting on the bed watching TV. "YIKES! Well, I guess it's time to try..."

"Hey! Come on out, Raw will be on soon. I can't wait that long..." I was watching the TV as my thoughts began to turn to the girl I was waiting on...

"Okay. Pop quiz, hotshot. You're in some mid-level motel room. The girl you've loved since basically the day you were born is in the room with you, and you're forced to share a bed with her. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?" I proceeded to think about the possibilities...

"(Tom...I cannot suppress my feelings anymore...I can't live without you! DO ME NOW, BIG MAN!") The thoughts proceeded to get more and more ecchi, until just as I was going to do something, a thought version of Robbie, Brad, Jeff, Sharon, and Shane headed over and attacked the thought-Tom...

Robbie: "I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUSHED YOU! YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE A MOVE NOW ON MY LITTLE PRINCESS?"

Brad: "For attempting to steal my baby sister's innocence..."

Jeff: "...We will MAKE YOU PAY!"

Sharon: "I THOUGHT WE TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THAT! YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

Shane: "YOU LUCKY LITTLE BASTARD...er...what? Oh, NO! BAD TOM! BAD!" I looked at the thought-Jocelyn, who got a starry-eyed appearance...then pulled out a giant paper fan...

Jocelyn: "BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Just then, I popped back into reality.

"Okay...maybe I shouldn't make any moves on her. No, just treat it like normal. Be a good boy. Yeah! Ganbatte!" I proceeded to wait and watch the TV as Jocelyn headed out of the bathroom and headed to the other side of the bed...

Jocelyn: "So, what time's the party? I've brought...my sweet self, you manage to procure a few things of alcohol, maybe find someone who's all Catcher in the Rye for us so we can live your AWA gimmick, and let's just par-TAY!" Yikes...I'd better go get some of this. She can be very persuasive, at least when she's asking for things I would want anyway. I went out to look for some of them, paid for them with a mixture of money, 8X10s (I LOVE being this over!) and proceeded to get back just as Jocelyn was curling up watching Raw...

WWE Raw

As the show started, Derek Wylde was in the ring and took the mic...

Wylde: "It was another day on the patrol. My partner was otherwise engaged, leaving me to fight with someone who seemed to be the big boss. Tonight, I knew I would be proven as a star- or leaving flattened by my opponent's girth. Either way, this would be a big night for me..." Just then, Big Viscera's theme hit as he came out to the ring...

(Meanwhile, back in Rhode Island...)

Steve Evans: "So, Vicky...you're sure you're ready for a World Champion?"

Diamond: "Sure...bring it, Stevie-baby..." Evans grabbed a video camera as we went back to the match...

Viscera: "HEY HEY HEY! Now, Derek Wylde, You like School in the Summertime: NO CLASS! You don't go talking about some other guy's weight problems like that, and I'm about to beat these problems out of you the only way I can!"

Derek Wylde v. Big Viscera

Oh dear god this was abysmal. Big Viscera hasn't improved at all since his last go-round in the WWE, and he was the worst person to make Derek Wylde look good. It appeared they were trying to make Wylde more over following this match, but with how big Viscera was, it was hard for him to get over on him. Most of the match involved Wylde trying to get the big man down and failing miserably. Finally, when it looked the worst, Jay Lethal came out to the ring and the two of them managed to get a Double Dropkick on him, sending Viscera down for the big upset by Wylde. Poor, poor match.

(44, 59, 51)

Meanwhile, back at the motel room, Jocelyn was waiting patiently with her lips pursed and facing towards me.

Jocelyn: "So...are you going to do this or not? I've been waiting patiently...don't you like me?" Seeing her like that, I did the obvious thing- grabbing the lighter and sucking from the joint I had rolled, then shotgunning it to her...

"You know, if you're going to run with the boys, you REALLY need to buy a lighter so you can light up yourself..."

Jocelyn: "*coughs* Aww...but I prefer doing things like this...unless you don't really care about me, Tommy-chan..."

"You're getting there- I haven't heard you call me that since elementary school..."

Jocelyn: "Pagyuu...but we've only gotten started..."

"I know, and it's not like we'll end any time soon..." I waited for the commercials to end as the show came up...

In the ring, Marty Jannetty was waiting, doing his "I'm still stuck in 1989" shtick. Just then, the lights dimmed as the screen went to snow on TV as a voice came over...

Voice: "YOUR TV HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER...REJOICE..." A generic hard theme hit as the snow reverted to the words "JOEY HAMM" as Joey Hamm headed to the ring and started attacking viciously...

Meanwhile, with us...

"Awesome! It looks like they're going to push Joey- WWE never gives someone a good entrance if they aren't going to push them..."

Jocelyn: "Um...Glacier? Oz?"

"That was WCW..."

Jocelyn: "Whoops..."

JR: "This young kid Joey Hamm had an impressive debut last night at the Survivor Series, managing to last to the end of the match and qualify for a shot in one of tonight's two Battle Royals..."

Joey Hamm v. Marty Jannetty

Okay...can you say SQUASH? I knew you could...This was pretty much a fact of the matter...Jannetty is old and over the hill, Joey Hamm is one of the new breed that they've apparently got a little invested in to succeed. As a result, it was just good for Hamm to get the win here, and get it rather violently as well. The squash was pretty much old-school style- nothing too horrible, nothing great as a result. Hamm got the win following a nice Osaka Street Cutter (that the announcers called the Endless Sorrow), getting him a big victory. After the match, Joey Hamm took the mic...

Hamm: "Citizens of the world, rejoice. The first crack in the armor of all that is old and worthless in this world has appeared tonight, as I, the bringer of the new school, Joey Hamm, have put this broken-down old worker out and put the proverbial bullet in his generation's head. Now, the new world will move to my beat as the cream will eventually rise to the top! Rejoice, my people!"

(63, 62, 62)

Meanwhile, John Cena was backstage as a number of workers (including the teams Goddard and Blackman, Kyo Dai, Orlando Jordan, Molly Holly, and Jerrelle Clark) were working. Cena took the mic...

Cena: "Yo yo! Last night, I know alla' y'all saw how we did that- only team to totally obliterate our opponents like they was paper! Now, I KNOW we can do that full-time, yo. If we're this good on one match,we'll be just as dominant here on Raw. Now, who here's my soldiers?" One by one, the people put their hands on top of Cena's as they proceeded to raise them to the top in celebration.

All: "ALL RIGHT!"

(92)

The Naturals v. De-Evolution

Well, this was a poor matchup. It seems like the Naturals still aren't ready for prime-time...which is why they made it work in TNA for so long. This match's sub-par nature might have been the result of Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Candido not meshing well at all, but I would assume that the match wasn't worthwhile either way. The two teams just didn't click during this match. Unfortunately, the match didn't even finish, as just when the match was nearing an end, a police siren hit as Billy Reil came down to the ring and took a mic...

Reil: "HOLD UP! HOLD UP! The Fun Police has arrived to save you people from this terrible match! Referee: It is the order of Eric Bischoff and the Raw Fun Police, Billy Reil, to stop this matchup post-haste!" The referee called for the bell, causing a draw as the match ended.

(59, 79, 69)

Meanwhile, backstage, the Dudley Boyz were backstage arguing...

Bubba Ray Dudley: "Wh-why'd you have to eliminate me last night, D-D-Von?"

D-Von Dudley: "Come on- it was necessary- did you realize the stakes last night? A shot to be the World Champion was on the line, and only one of us was going to make it either way. I just did what I had to do, you know?"

Bubba Ray: "I don't see..."

D-Von: "Look- let's just get this done. We've got a match with Diamond and Swinger tonight, and this needs to take the main importance. You understand?"

Bubba Ray: "I guess..." The Dudleyz shook hands as the show went to break...

(69)

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, our hero and heroine were pretty much out of it...

Jocelyn: "So...I had to ask...you're never around anymore...are you busy with some other girl...?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

Jocelyn: "Well, come on- you're never around much- just where we work, you know? I have to know...is there a girl you like, Tommy?"

"(CRAP! That's a bad question...) Well, there is..."

Jocelyn: "OOH! Who is it?"

"(It's you, you dummy! It's always been you!) Um...I can't say..."

Jocelyn: "Aww...if you tell me who YOU like, I'll tell you who I like..."

"You...like a...guy...? (NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)"

Jocelyn: "Don't worry...I doubt he'd like me back..."

"Oh...why? (YES!)"

Jocelyn: "Well...he's so popular...he's got this reputation backstage as being a player, and he just seems like he's not interested in me that way. But I see him in wOw, and in NWATNA, and my heart just pounds. I watch him with his matches, and I want to tell the world how I feel, but when I see his gimmick, I wonder...is he really interested in girls? Could he love me? (There...he CAN'T BE THAT STUPID not to get it now...)"

"(Oh my god, she's in love with Jayce...) Don't say that! I'm sure he'll love you! He'd be stupid not to feel the same way about you! Hell, if you need me to talk to him, I will!"

Jocelyn: "(Oh dear Yevon, he IS that stupid...) Um...no, that's not necessary..."

"No! You're my best friend- of course I will do this for you! (Even when my heart is breaking, a true princess does not cry...*mind-cries*)" The two sat by and continued watching the show...

After the break, Sean O'Haire came out to the ring with Paul Bearer and took the mic...

O'Haire: "Tonight, the people must see the pain that will come. One must fall to the new forces here on Raw. I challenge anyone who thinks they are worthy of facing me...but I'm not telling you anything you don't already know..." Just then, Trish Stratus's voice came over the TitanTron...

Stratus: "Well, I assume a jobber like you needs someone your level...so how about fighting me?" Stratus then headed down the ramp and attacked as the match began...

Sean O'Haire v. Trish Stratus

HOW WAS THE CROWD SO INTO THIS MATCH? It was a bad intergender match, it was a pretty average match as wrestling goes, and it was basically a squash match to boot. Sean O'Haire won the Merle Haggard "I Kissed My Sweetie With my Fist" award here in spades, totally dominating Stratus violently. This wasn't enough, as O'Haire proceeded to continue the attack, only to have Ruckus come in and face off with O'Haire for the save. Ruckus looked at O'Haire...then proceeded to attack Stratus in kind, as the two left her laying before O'Haire got an academic pinfall. Better than it should have been, at least...

(90, 64, 82)

John Cena and Goddard and Blackman v. Metro

And now we get another match no one was interested in. I don't know if it's the fact that Rico's friends aren't over, or Blackman's not that over, or Goddard's not over enough for his push, but the match was pretty subpar as far as fan reaction. However, the six managed to have a match much better than they should have managed to, which was nothing but a good thing. The 6-man match was one of the better ones I've seen in a while, which was nothing but a good thing. The match seemed to work for the most part by this stuff, finally climaxing by a nice double move with John Cena starting an F-U on Bradley Richter before Steve Blackman hit a Pump Kick to the head, then Shane Goddard hit a Godd-Hand on him for a big victory. After the match, John Cena and Shane Goddard celebrated in the ring as Steve Blackman looked serious for a bit as the show went to break...

(56, 80, 68)

Meanwhile, backstage, Stacy Keibler was decked out in her typical "naughty secretary" generic outfit when she came across Alex Shane who was backstage working...

Keibler: "Mr...Shane, is it? I have to ask...I saw your work last night in the Survivor Series, and I have to wonder...have you thought about taking on a manager? I am CERTAIN that my help could make you the next superstar in the WWE..." Shane looked her over and then smiled...

Shane: "You know, I think I could use a manager...now, let's solidify this merger...how about it?" Keibler attacked Shane violently as the show went to break...

(66)

Diamond and Swinger v. The Dudley Boyz

Wow. The crowd was actually really hot for this matchup, and I was surprised for it. It was a good match, to be sure, but the crowd hadn't really been into Diamond and Swinger much before this. The Dudleys played a good mix for their match, putting on a decent show as a result. The show proceeded to be fairly straightforward as the match went. The Dudley Boyz took the advantage, managing to dominate the team of Diamond and Swinger. Eventually, Bubba Ray and D-Von hit the WASSUP! Headbutt, then Bubba called for the tables. D-Von obliged...then put Bubba Ray through the table with a nice powerbomb! Simon Diamond called for the three count and got the pin. Pretty surprising match- I didn't see the ending coming...

(82, 85, 83)

Two-Ring, 40-man Battle Royal:

Ring 1:

1) The King of Pop eliminated by HHH

2) Tony Lazaro eliminated by Marty Jannetty

3) Steve Blackman eliminated by Maven

4) Doc Dean eliminated by T.J. Ishimori

5) Chavo Classic eliminated by Marty Jannetty

6) Rico eliminated by Scott Steiner

7) The Big Sho Funaki eliminated by Shawn Michaels

8) Rory Fox eliminated by Rhyno

9) Marty Jannetty eliminated by Chris Jericho

10) Christopher Nowinski eliminated by Rhyno

11) Rhyno eliminated by Chris Jericho

12) T.J. Ishimori eliminated by Cassidy O'Reilly

13) Scott Steiner eliminated by Chris Jericho

14) Biomonster HOSS eliminated by Brian Christopher

15/16) Maven/ Grand Master Sexay eliminated by Triple H

17) Cassidy O'Reilly eliminated by Shawn Michaels

18) Shawn Michaels eliminated by Chris Jericho

19) Chris Jericho eliminated by Triple H

(47, 61, 54)

Ring 2:

1) Joey Hamm eliminated by Batista

2) Onyx eliminated by Sean Casey

3) Jonah Edelman eliminated by Shannon Moore

4) Big Viscera eliminated by Shane Goddard

5) Kenzo Suzuki eliminated by John Cena

6) Sean Casey eliminated by Batista

7) Simon Diamond eliminated by Bubba Ray Dudley

8) Bubba Ray Dudley eliminated by Shannon Moore

9) Steve Bradley eliminated by AJ Styles

10) Shannon Moore eliminated by Mark Henry-TSMITW

11) Batista eliminated by AJ Styles

12) Mark Henry-TSMITW eliminated by AJ Styles

13) Shane Goddard eliminated by AJ Styles

14) John Heidenreich eliminated by John Cena

15) Bam Bam Bigelow eliminated by John Cena

16/17) Orlando Jordan/John Cena eliminated by The Hurricane (both at same time)

18)Brandon Robinson eliminated by The Hurricane

19) AJ Styles eliminated by The Hurricane

(63, 61, 62)

Over: 68

That night, I tossed and turned. Jocelyn fell asleep soon after the show ended, while I was left lying there. "She's so cute when she's sleeping", I thought before my mind went back to the attack from everyone beforehand. I knew there was one way I could stop it and make sure no one found out. I grabbed some things from my car, then proceeded to get some rope...

The next morning, Jocelyn awoke to find herself covered up by a spare polar fleece blanket. Next to her was the wrapped up, tied-up body of Tom Goddard asleep, with naught but two paper towels in his nose.

Jocelyn: "Baka...Wake up! Time to get back home!" The two woke up and headed off on their road home...

RavenBlack · March 14, 2005

1) Joey Hamm eliminated by Batista

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 15, 2005

(wOw Reply: That's the weakness with my decision to do all Survivor Series and Battle Royale matches completely natural as per what EWR dictates...

Somehow, I didn't expect this.

Maybe it started a little bit slow- I was driving into Rhode Island radio territory, and while playing 91.1 for my music fix, I started to hear through the staticy radio, a certain radio promo I had done earlier on it-

"Hey, this is Tom Goddard reminding everyone to listen to 91.1, WREF- the only station in Rhode Island that is TRULY whacked Out!

91.1 FM- THE STATION OF WORLD CHAMPIONS..." Hold up...did I just hear what I thought I did? Well, maybe this will be somewhat big. I was pretty alerted from that claim, and finally headed through to the state line, when I I saw someone had put a bedsheet over the things we were home to after the state line-

"HOME OF REIGNING AWA WORLD CHAMPION HARRY POTSMOKER"

Okay...this might be REALLY big. I kept driving, as eventually we made it to Jocelyn's house. There, I could see a huge "CONGRATULATIONS" sign on the front. I walked in the door as we were showered with huge praise.

Robbie: "Finally! You two made it back! We couldn't start the party without Tom here..."

Jocelyn: "Oh, great. Your cute little daughter comes home from working, and you're busy lavishing Tom with praise?"

Robbie: "Sorry, pumpkin, but this is a special thing. It's not every day we have a World Champion based out of wOw..."

"Well, I'll do my best to make it so that it IS every day..."

Robbie: "Glad to hear it. Man, you should have heard Court when the Board of Directors for the AWA decided to give you the strap over Daniels in that match- he was crying like a little girl..."

"I would have LOVED to see that..."

Robbie: "Well, relax- get some food, drinks..." I didn't need to ask twice for that. I got some food and some of their good drinks, then headed over to see Steve and Finale drinking a few beers...

Finale: "You are a real boner-biting dick-fuck fuck-face, you know that? How the hell am I supposed to top on that move you did for sheer 'HOLY SHIT' factors, Tom?"

"Sorry- you have to realize, it was needed. How else could I get the match to be memorable?"

Steve: "I think we're forgetting the important thing- you rat bastard, you got a major World Title before I did! I guess I really do owe you that hundred bucks now..."

"Come on- you knew that. Remember- Robbie told us both straight up- they gave you the wOw World Title because I was getting the AWA title the next night. That was the understanding..."

Steve: "I know, but...but...I wanna be at your level now!"

"Dude- it gets hard. Like, I've been told I'm roughly as over as The Rock or Austin to AWA fans, so that is not something that's easy to do. Hell, I'm even surprised at how it came about, man."

Steve: "Yeah, yeah...well, this is still an occasion- the first of our training group made it to the top of the mountain! Now let's drink like there's no tomorrow!" The three of us started to drink as we celebrated. A number of wOw workers came over to congratulate me personally, but I was too drunk and heavy on the party foods given to care. Eventually, the party started to wind down, as Robbie came over to me...

Robbie: "I saw how much you drank- I took the responsibility to call your parents. Can't have you dying in a car accident so soon after making it this big, can we?"

"Yeah...you know, youre a great guy...love ya like a father...and could've seen it as a good thing, ya know..."

Robbie: "Okay...I see. Well, your parents should be here very shortly..." I waited a little bit, until finally I saw them come to the door.

Tom's Dad: "Okay- it's time to go, Tom...your mother's going to drive your car home..." I got into my dad's car as they drove me home. Once they got there, I proceeded to head in while they closed the door and spoke to me...

Both Dad and Mom: "So...are you finished with this little wrestling fantasy of yours?"

Edited March 15, 2005 by Reflecto

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 17, 2005

"What are you talking about?"

Mom: "Now, come on. We allowed you to have this little pro wrestler fantasy for about 5 years now, and now we think it's time for you to grow up- to get a real job..."

"Um...I'm making more money than you two are...I'm a freaking World Champion..."

Dad: "Well, maybe, but...um, you're using up so much money for gas! Yeah, gas money, travelling fees..."

Mom: "Not to mention the wear and tear on your car..."

Dad: "Ooh, good one- the wear and tear on your car goes through..."

"Um...I make nearly $100,000 a month in all my federations. If my car dies, I can buy a new one without problem..." I saw my mom and dad look puzzled...

Mom: "Well, we just don't like seeing you do it. You're the smartest of our kids- you deserve to make something out of yourself!

"Haven't you gotten the memo yet? I HAVE made something out of myself! I'm the World Champion on a national scale, I make a lot of money, and I am actually happy doing what I do for a living!"

Dad: "Work is not supposed to make you happy, work is supposed to be WORK! You can be happy on your own time!"

Mom: "Besides, I don't know what ideas that madman Robbie put inside your head, but being champion in front of 100 people in a Rhode Island gymnasium is NOT being a success..."

"Well, what about in front of thousands of people on national Pay-Per-Views?"

Dad: "If you're such a success, why haven't you done like other workers of the 'huge level' you're at. Make a few blockbuster movies like that Rocky fellow, or become the governor like Jesse Ventura did, THEN we'll talk about success..."

Mom: "Honey, you're encouraging him..."

Dad: "Oh, sorry. The point is that there's only one path that you can take to be successful in life, and that does not involve wrestling..."

"What does it involve? Working at some 9 to 5 job that I hate and making less than half what I make wrestling, not getting a chance to see any of the people I'm friends with in any manner save for watching them on a TV screen, and basically living your life? I don't want that!"

Mom: "So our lives aren't good enough for you, is that it? Mr. Big-Shot World Champion thinks that he's all of a sudden better than us? We scrimped and saved for your upbringing for 21 years, we paid to put you through college- which I don't even know if you GO to, what with all your wrestling dates..."

Dad: "Because of that, you OWE us doing exactly what we say, WHEN we say it!"

"Can't you just be happy for me? Can't you be proud that I'm doing something and am so successful at it that I've managed to make myself one of the top names in wrestling today? Hell- I've heard tell from some websites that I'm presently the best worker in the world today!"

Dad: "WE PAID FOR YOUR TRAINING! YOU HAD BETTER BE THE BEST FOR WHAT WE PAID!"

Mom: "See? You've got him screaming. You're going to kill him, you know..."

"Oh, great. Use guilt on me. Well, it's not going to work. I'm doing what I was meant to do, and you can't change that!"

Mom: "Oh, it's all those women you've been hanging around, isn't it? Do you know what I have to go through at work with the younger people- people who living the 'boring life' WAS good enough for, might I add..."

Dad: "Listen to your mother..."

Mom: "...I hear them talk to me- 'Oh, you're Tom Goddard's mother? I've heard that guy's a total man-slut and has been with more women in wrestling than you could shake a stick at'- all women who you NEVER bring home to meet me, might I add..."

"Oh, let me guess...I'm not willing to go to work at your business as a second-rater and marry some person after Dad trades me to them for a carton of menthols- I'm worse than Hitler, OJ, Satan, and Dubya combined!"

Dad: "AND WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST PRESIDENT BUSH, YOUNG MAN?" I couldn't take much more of this. I had to get out of there, for my own sanity. I headed over to Steve's place- hopefully, I could crash there until the heat died down (which would probably be a couple of days- nothing major.) By then, the next big wOw show should air, so I was pretty set.

stokeriño · March 17, 2005

....

:mellow:

PARENTAL ANGST~!

(another cornerstone of anime)

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 18, 2005

Eventually, I made it back to the show, where I managed to see Jocelyn head over to me...

Jocelyn: "So, where were you? Your mom and dad called my dad up and really bitched him out- said we put too many bad thoughts in your head."

"I know- they've got this idea that the only way I can be a success is if I'm completely miserable. I doubt they've ever wanted me to be happy."

Jocelyn: "I know- when will they realize- you're one of the rare people who made it? That's why I have to be happy with my dad- he didn't make it, but doesn't resent us for making it."

"Yeah. I can't stand this! I mean, come on- I should be allowed to live my own life, right?"

Jocelyn: "Somehow, we are living our own lives. We just need to make sure that those lives are done the way we want...with the person we want it to be with..."

Oh COME ON, You CAN'T be THAT stupid...

You HAVE to know she's interested right now...

But that is the problem- how can one live when they have no way to do that?<---

I looked at Jocelyn, who began to look pissed...

"BAKA!" Jocelyn grabbed a giant paper fan and attacked me as Electric Supernova started...

wOw Electric Supernova

As Electric Supernova began, "Livin' La Vida Loca" hit as Ricky Marvin headed to the ring and took the mic...

Marvin: "HELLO, all my wonderful fans! Ricky MAR-VAN has come here to bring meaning into all the ladies' lives here! Tonight, I have come to wrestle, to retain my wOw Cruiserweight Title, and most importantly, to SHAKE MY BON-BON! Yu Phuc Dup- you may be a talented worker, but tonight I will once again win, and be able to dominate my opponent once more...IN BED!"

Ricky Marvin v. Yu Phuc Dup

Well, this wasn't the match I was hoping for. Yu Phuc Dup may be one of the more impressive workers as far as sick high-flying moves, and Ricky Marvin is equally impressive. Together, though, they came up with a "FUCK Psychology" matchup, just hitting a number of nice moves without a care. The two proceeded to do this for a bit, trying to get some heat (and failing miserably.) Finally, Yu Phuc Dup got an advantage. However, this was for naught when Hawk Younkins came into the ring and hit a Tough Enough Slam on Ricky Marvin, getting the DQ victory for the champion. After the match, Ricky Marvin started dancing in the ring as wOw continued its show...

(32, 76, 54)

(meanwhile, in a overblown bunker...)

Missy: "Well, it looks like our pursuer has gotten some new work. Unfortunately, he seems to be going to wOw- you might not be able to go home..."

Jared: "I don't know about that. I mean, come on. We've been fighting for how long? I've had enough of just waiting around for these things- why don't we go there and try to attack him?"

Missy: "You aren't ready to take this guy down. I know he seems normal, but he's probably one of many who will be going after you."

MICKIE: "Is Jared going crazy, Missy...?"

Missy: "Apparently..."

Vance: "No, I can see it. Strike the Redemption Crew before they strike us, you know?"

Jared: "Exactly! So let's go back to wOw, and take their attack head-on!"

Missy: "Admit it...you just want to go back home, and deal with your life...sexy parties, wrestling, and living a life of utter slack and decadence..."

Jared: "Um...yes'm..."

MICKIE: "Aww...but I wanna see Jared's home!"

Vance: "Yeah, yeah!" The four kept going on about it...

Missy: "Oh, all right...but you WILL be training when you get there, do you hear me?"

Jared: "YAY!"

(meanwhile, back at the show)

Ayako Hamada v. Jocelyn Richter

Okay, this is surprising- with one match, Ayako Hamada has managed to get the crowd to absolutely hate her. Of course, this may be the result of Jocelyn Richter being INSANELY over in Rhode Island for some reason, but eh, to each their own. This match is not advertised as being for Richter's NWA Miss TNA title, which makes some sense due to wOw not recognizing the NWA titles as affiliations (though less since you would think Robbie Richter would play up that his little girl owns an NWA title.) The match was what you would expect from a wOw match- i.e. American Joshi-style. Great chemistry and nice, sound psychology mixed with the two's talent in movesets as the two put on a clinic in the ring. The only thing that surprised me was Hamada CHEATING TO WIN~!- I thought Richter would have his daughter go over here, and the match could have been served with a clean finish. Eh, who cares- it was awesome, and proves that wOw apparently wants to push Hamada.

(71, 82, 76)

(TAG TEAM) The Stampede Bulldogs v. Lo-Down

Okay, this makes no sense. I mean, you just had The Headbangers show up a few weeks ago, and now you're having Lo-Down appear in the same fed? I hope someone got fired for that blunder... Take away the fact that D'Lo Brown is WAY too over on the Indies to be wasted in tag team matches, and this just does not make sense. The two teams did mesh fairly well, however, and I guess the match wasn't a waste of time, so I think it had its position earned. The show was decent enough, given that neither team clicks well (though surprisingly clicked together in their not clicking.) The Stampede Bulldogs got the victory here, which isn't a problem considering that they are more regular in wOw than Lo-Down could be. Not a bad match as a whole.

(65, 81, 73)

(TRANSCONTINENTAL) Homicide v. Greg Burch

Well, this match managed to get a bit better. The crowd was firmly behind Greg Burch due to his homegrown nature, as Homicide has absolutely NO heat. Greg Burch got some nice moves in, but I've never been much of a fan of his in-ring work. I'll admit he has some charisma, but really, I wonder who the hell Burch blew to get where he is in wrestling today...

(Ryder: "*cries* The match writer's SO MEAN to me! *cries* Reflecto, make him stop!"

"I'll allow it..."

Ryder: "But he's being MEAN!"

"So? You deserve it...")

The match was similar to other Homicide/Burch matches- pretty decent, but nothing special as a whole. Homicide CHEATED TO WIN~!, which was expectable as they attempt to squeeze more time into the Homicide/Greg Burch feud that no one cares about. Another blah match in a blah feud.

(55, 81, 68)

Spanky v. Scott Taylor

Okay, this was another overachieving matchup. These two workers managed to put on a decent show in the ring and make the crowd get fairly into it. I guess this is the bonus of having some former WWE guys on each card and making them fight. The match was pretty good for having no real buildup to it, and went for a pretty good show for it. Spanky and Taylor proceeded to put on the decent stuff, proving once again that the WWE style sucks ass. Spanky got the victory here, which was a bit of a surprise given how hard wOw pushed Scott Taylor. I sincerely hope there was some reason for this one, other than to give a good pop to the crowd (something I notice wOw is willing to do often.)

(69, 81, 75)

Samoa Joe v. Chuck Palumbo

Well, the Chuck Palumbo streak of great matches has ended, as this match has been pretty subpar. These two didn't really click. Maybe it was an off-day for both involved, but Samoa Joe has been in much better matches (as well as Palumbo here in wOw.) The match just seemed like one of those surprisers, as the two had even been in better matches together. Samoa Joe got the win here, which was inconsequential- with how the match was, it didn't really matter. Pretty poor matchup as a whole.

(70, 66, 68)

After the break, Veronica Diamond headed out to the ring and took a mic...

Diamond: "And now, ladies and gentlemen, I come to you to give you the first World Title defense of the era of the greatest wOw World Champion of all time in the making, the New School of whacked Out wrestling's greatest son, the man, the myth- STEVE EVANS!" Steve Evans came to the ring with his wOw World Title on his shoulder, the Diamond Exchange and Ayako Hamada flanking him as he headed to the ring.

Evans: "Thank you, thank you. Now, I figured, since to win this title I managed to destroy the weaker half of...one great team...I decided to defend my belt against another...weaker half of a great tag team. Hence, I give you my opponent..." Just then, Jeff Hardy's theme music hit as he headed to the ring flanked by his giant orange cat companion and proceeded to attack Evans.

(wOw World) Steve Evans v. Jeff Hardy

Well, this was an awesome match to start a title reign off. These two put on a great show in the ring, mixing their styles fairly well. Jeff Hardy really managed to right his engine following his heading to the indy scene, and Steve Evans is proving why he's a breakout star in the making on the indies. The two managed to mix some nice moves and a fairly decent all-round matchup to put on a nice show. Jeff Hardy did most of his signature moves, as the match became closer to a typical Hardy match at the end- Hardy does a run off the guardrail, Hardy attacks his opponent, goes for the Swanton Bomb, opponent (in this case) rolls out of the way, Steve Evans hits a Slight Remix (Swanton Bomb) on Hardy, gets the win. After the match, Evans celebrated and grabbed his title as Veronica Diamond headed in to lavish praise on him. The show seemed to end with Diamond and her crew celebrating- until Robbie Richter came on the wOwTron...

(74, 86, 80)

Richter: "Ladies and gentlemen, this was a great match, definitely. Steve Evans- you proved why the best wrestling comes at the top of wOw cards worldwide. In any other time, this would main event any indy federation..." Evans looked proud as Richter continued.

"However, tonight we have a special extra match for the fans of wOw, and something I am pleased to be able to show. You see- about a week ago, we had a little upset from a wOw worker on some...other federation's show...and because of this, we are happy to have the first straight-up defense of the AWA World Heavyweight Title on this card!" The fans started chanting "DUB-OH-DUB!" at the news. "Here, as a result, I give you, YOUR reigning AWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD..." Tom Goddard and Jocelyn Richter headed to the ring, Goddard carrying his AWA World Title as the fans went insane- as did Evans. Evans headed to the announce table and waited as Finale came out as the opponent for the match.

(AWA World) Tom Goddard v. Finale

Gristleizer: "Well, it looks like we've been joined by the champ, Steve Evans...great to have you..."

Evans: "OOH...THAT...THAT...STEALING MY THUNDER...THIS IS MY TIME..."

Carter: "I see your point..."

Well, this is a match that I was personally surprised by. Goddard's more technical and high-flying based moveset wouldn't seem to mesh with Finale's godlike brawling, but lo and behold, the two managed to put on what could be argued as the MOTN, and another wOw MOTY candidate. The two managed to tell a great story in the ring, with Finale playing monster heel well to Goddard's face-in-peril. Jocelyn Richter tried to help out Goddard, but a well-timed Title belt throw was caught by Finale, giving him another tool in the violence. Belt shot got two, and a subsequent attempted chokeout with the belt was survived by the champ. Goddard kept going, as he proceeded to get his ass kicked by the champion...

Carter: "You should be enjoying this, huh, Steve?"

Evans: "BASTARD...TOM...I DESERVED MY TIME IN THE SUN...WHAT'S HIS DEAL?"

The two proceeded to finally keep the attack going. Jocelyn Richter got behind Finale and managed to hit a nice 9.0 on him, allowing Tom Goddard a chance to get back in the game. Goddard utilized it, dazzling Finale with a number of nice moves. Goddard headed to the top rope and hit the My Final Heaven, allowing him to retain his AWA Title. After the match, Goddard and Richter celebrated...until Steve Evans rushed the ring and attacked the two of them! Goddard was laid out by a wOw Title shot, before Steve Evans grabbed Jocelyn Richter and laid her out with a Slight Remix (Phoenix 720 DDT). Steve Evans celebrated over the beaten bodies of his former friends as Electric Supernova ended...

(84, 93, 88)

Over: 74

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 22, 2005

After the show, I was sort of back in the swing of things. It got hard for me to get back on the road after having what amounted to a week's vacation for the first time since my injury, but I had to do it. I mean, I was a champion now, right? This was what I had to do. I proceeded to head off on the road, finally making it to Minneapolis and the AWA tapings, only to find Court H. Bauer waiting for me...

Bauer: "I don't know if I should tell you this, but we've got some new stuff- after tonight, we'll be taping our PPVs on the same night we tape Underground. Don't ask me why- I'm anxious to see you fall flat on your ass with that belt, and having our PPV rates plummet like this will be perfect to help it!" Yeesh- talk about a welcoming party. I proceeded to head through the back, finally catching my weekly glomping, the result of Kari-Chan using much more power behind it than usual...

Kari-Chan: "Oh Tom I was waitingandwaitingandwaiting for you to come back! That Kangor guy taught me how to do his finishing move, and I feel it really shows all the undying lovelove I have for you...only problem was he was mean and used words my mommy taught me are stuff good girls should never have to hear..."

"What? You mean Fuck, and Shit? That's his gimmick. He's the 'Guy who Says Fuck'. You can't tell him not to say Fuck if he's the Guy who Says Fuck, can you? It'd blow his entire gimmick faster than a Bushwacker on Adrian Adonis's dick, so to speak..." Kari-Chan looked at me with tears beginning to build, then flowing like waterfalls...

Kari-Chan: "HIDOI! I didn't think you would use such mean meany language to my delicate female ears, Tommy-kun...you're so mean!" I saw Kari-Chan begin to grab her tail and proceed to try to whip me with it, which I took as a cue to exit stage right...barreling into Jamie on the way, landing on top of her...

Jamie: "T...Tom? What...what happened?"

I couldn't hold back my feelings for you any longer...

I tumbled into you because Kari-Chan was being mean to me...<---

Who are you again?

My Neighbor's Dog has a Four-Inch Clit!

Jamie: "Oh...well, that seems understandable. You know, you should really drop her if she's getting too mean for you...I mean, a superstar like yourself can get any girl he wants, right...?" Just then, Kari-Chan overheard the conversation and started whipping me, yelling "HIDOI!" all the while as the show began...

AWAMLW Underground

Tom Howard v. Mike Sullivan

Remember when this match was supposed to be a big-ticket one in the making for AWAMLW? Well, apparently their stars have fallen such that it can only muster an opening match on Underground. I don't know what the reasoning is- perhaps the writers just realized they're characterless talented guys and had too many talented guys with character running around, but this was a fairly normal match. The two proceeded to do what they do- namely, have decent matches together. Tom Howard got the win here following a nice Split-Legged Moonsault, but who cares- this just proves they're openers for life.

(51, 90, 70)

After the break, Terry Funk was backstage and took the mic...

Funk: "Now, I know what people have been saying and all recently. They say that the Death Eaters run the asylum now, and the war's basically over. Well, someone who's as crazy as I am would never run away from a fight just because the war is something he can't win. Finale may be hiding behind his cronies in the Death Eaters, but I know the facts- that he ain't never won anything for himself in his whole career. All he can do is hide behind the other workers, because he knows at the end of the day, he's just a yellow-bellied, spineless, utter lapdog. Now, everyone in the world knows by now, Terry Funk don't run from no man on God's green earth, least of all a lapdog like Finale. So, I have to say- any time Finale wants to get beaten to within an inch of his life, come on down to see old Terry and get your whooping in!" (73)

Sabu v. Justin Credible

Well, the ECW freaks probably liked it... This match was pretty straightforward regarding how it went. Justin Credible may be decent enough in his own right, but he's nowhere near good enough to keep the match from going the same way as every Sabu match has gone in the past few years: Spot, Spot, Botched Spot, Retake of Botched spot, Spot, Botch, Retake, repeat ad nauseaum. The match was pretty average as a result, finally finishing with Sabu managing to hit the Arabian Facebuster on Justin Credible for the victory. Nothing you haven't seen umpteen times before here...

(67, 79, 73)

After the break, Christopher Daniels's music hit as he headed out to the ring and took a mic...

Daniels: "Now, I've had a week to think things through, and I finally have returned to the only fans who mean anything- the AWAMLW fans!" The crowd gave a cheap pop. "As you all know, the last time you saw me, I was being dropkicked to a cage floor as some idiotic, jealous guy decided to ruin things for all of us. Well, whatever the mistake was, he forgot to kill me off. As long as I am still alive, I WILL get MY AWA World Title back, I will do it by any means necessary, and I will get revenge for all the people of the AWA who got screwed when that title changed hands. Now, to prove I'm not just talking out my ass, I challenge any member of the Death Eaters to come out here and see just how serious I am!" Just then, Alex Shelley came out to the ring and started the attack...

Christopher Daniels v. Alex Shelley

Now this was a bit of a worse match than I had expected. I knew both of these guys are awesome in the ring, so I expected this to be world-class in level for the result. However, it just seemed like they were just having a normal, excellent match instead of a MOTY candidate. Daniels proceeded to merge the level of squashing Shelley and yet almost making him look like he belonged on the main event stage- a little weird, but nonetheless a decent style (AWA needs its own faces still, and having more people Daniels can work with at the top is nothing but a good thing.) Daniels got the win following the Angel Wings, then got on his knees and shouted to the fallen Shelley, "TAKE THAT TO YOUR LEADER, PUNK!"

(85, 81, 83)

After the break, an AWA logo hit as Greg Gagne headed out to the ring to a chorus of boos and took the mic...

Gagne: "Why, Greg, Why? I keep hearing all you people ask me that for what I did on Saturday. Why would you, the son of the legendary Verne Gagne, the person who MADE the AWA what it stands for, willingly turn tail when you had the chance and kick away Christopher Daniels's title reign- a reign of excellence that the AWA legends could be proud of- and basically hand the World Title to that punk Harry Potsmoker? Well, the answer lies in your own history, AWA fans. I was up there, hearing the scattered applause you gave because 'Oh, he's a legend of the AWA!' that Saturday, and I remembered back to when I was wrestling. Back then, you people didn't give a damn about me. When I had the chance to break into the main event myself, you people spit on me as a viable talent- spit on me as someone who you would pay to see hold the World Title as a possibility. Do you know how much pleading I had to do with my daddy to get him to keep me in the main events? It got hard after a while! Fast forward to today. I do well, I get put on the AWA Board of Directors, and I'm happy in retired life from wrestling. Then, I go through the show, and I see one worker- Harry Potsmoker. I looked at him, and I saw a person who represented EVERYTHING I was in wrestling- a spoiled little wrestling brat, got the Jesus push in his home federation because of his close personal relationship with the owner of the fed's family, but in his case- he actually had the crowds in Rhode Island eating out of his hand. Those would have been enough for me to champion him, but then I noticed his work in AWAMLW. I noticed how on fire he was, but more importantly, I noticed how much the people behind AWAMLW hated him. I noticed how when he and his friends were onscreen, it was like a punishment to the people behind that. It was then that I realized I needed to get my revenge on all the people who spurned me so long ago, and the best way to do it was to make sure by any means necessary that Harry Potsmoker became the AWA World Champion- that the belt that my family made a bastion of tradition became a belt held by a total punk who has no NEED to have respect for the business, or indeed, anything else on the planet! It took some time- some ways to plan out the show, but I am pleased to say that last week, that plan came to fruition. Hence, I give you, the AWAMLW fans, although you do not deserve it, YOUR AWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, HARRY POTSMOKER!" Just then, Potsmoker's music hit as he headed to the ring with the belt around his waist and shook hands with Gagne before taking the mic...

Knight: "I still don't want to believe this. Why is this happening? What kind of God would allow Harry Potsmoker to be our World Heavyweight Champion?"

Potsmoker: "THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" The crowd booed as Potsmoker continued. "Last week was a day that will go down in history. For the last year, I've been hearing people say I was the wrestler of the future, that my destiny was to hold the World Title, and that there was no limit to how far I could go. Well, after last week, the Future is NOW in AWAMLW, the question behind me is no longer "WILL Harry Potsmoker hold a World Title before he retires" but rather "HOW MANY World Titles will Harry Potsmoker hold before he retires?", and the limits have already been pushed. Yes, you fans here in the AWA should rejoice now, because you get the vast honor of being able to see the wrestler that will lead professional wrestling into the second decade of the new millennium here and now- well, before I manage to hit big in TNA or WWE, that is..." The crowd booed in that statement. "So rejoice now, fans, for you are seeing the future at work here..." Just then, Chance Beckett came down to the ring and took a mic...

Beckett: "Well, well, well. Congratulations, Potsmoker...much like you did in wOw, you managed to screw your way to the World Title in AWAMLW as well! Now, I'm not someone who likes to look at the stats- why bother when you can dive right in, I always say. However, the facts don't lie: You beat me in the finals of the AWA Number One Contender's Tournament- I was technically the number two contender. As you've advanced, technically that means I have a right to declare myself number-one contender!"

Potsmoker: "I...see...I think you've got some math wrong there..."

Beckett: "Math, shmath. You're just chicken to take a chance on me is what it boils down to! You KNOW you'll get beaten this time!"

Potsmoker: "No, I just won't fight anyone who's not a TRUE Number-One contender...moron..." Beckett looked at him...

Beckett: "Well, fine. If that's the way you'll play- I'll take that chance. You WILL recognize me as your number one contender, and then I WILL take your AWA Title!" The show ended with Potsmoker and Beckett staring each other down...

(81)

Over: 76

As the show ended, I headed back to the dressing room. Chance Beckett headed over towards me...

Beckett: "So- looks like they've got a pretty good idea for this. One month after we kick ass in the ring together, and they're already giving us main events?"

"Looks like it. Good luck out there- I'll try to make you look good..."

Beckett: "I could say the same to you. I'll see you next time..." I headed off to my car, when I was met there by Jeff Richter, holding out a piece of paper on some stationery I recognized as my own (CURSE my love of using cheap girly Sanrio stationery...)

Richter: "So...what's THIS all about, ickle Tommy...?"

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 23, 2005

Okay, okay. Play it cool, play it cool. This is Jeff we're talking about. Maybe he didn't know how to read the letter...

"Why, whatever do you mean, Geoffrey? I was merely trying to get home in time for some nice rest before having to head off for TNA XPlosion...shall I say hi to your sister when I get there?"

Jeff: "Oh, no. I think you've spent ENOUGH time with Jocelyn. I know what you wrote to her, Tommy...I could have never seen this one coming..." CRUD!

"Um...uh...it was written by Court H. Bauer to discredit me!"

Jeff: "You're not going to fool me this time, Tommy. You LOOOOOOOOOOVE her....TOMMY AND JOCELYN, SITTING IN A TREE..." Dammit! I knew I should have given it to someone more trustworthy...

"Well, you're the idiot who read something that was NOT for your eyes!"

Jeff: "Yeah, and because of it I found out that one of the boys in the back is trying to get with my little sister, you Triple H-wannabee..." Oh, that did it. Triple H may be a cool guy to me, but this?

"What gives you the right to say that? You don't know anything about this!"

Jeff: "I know that my little sister deserves better than some wrestler...I know that she is the one who'll make something of herself, and she can't do that on the side of someone who'll be gone for days upon end...I know that, to be honest, she is OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE..."

"...I know you are being a GIMP..."

Jeff: "Oh, bringing out the insults, are we? Well, it looks like I'll have to make some calls to the family...you know, let them in on some of this little info..."

"You wouldn't DARE!"

Jeff: "So you admit it?"

"No, I need to show that my professionalism for your father keeps me from needing those things for it. The fact that I love Jocelyn does not factor into...Crap..."

Jeff: "AH! You admitted it! I am SO telling..."

"You do and I'll verbally bury you in my promo time..."

Jeff: "I'm the interviewer- I was added to PPV's play-by-play...I have more mic time than you ever could..."

"Well, I'll eviscerate you in wOw, then!"

Jeff: "Once I tell, you'll be buried faster than you could speak!"

"Well, I'll eviscerate you in NWATNA. You know, the federation only me and Jocelyn work at amongst our families...?"

Jeff: "So? It doesn't matter...like Dad will let her stay out of these other feds once he finds out one of the TNA workers has got the hots for her..."

"You put too much faith in these things. What makes you think that these will go through?"

Jeff: "Depends. I've seen wrestlers come and go- some great workers, some not-so-great. I've seen people try to make a play for my sister, many of whom are much more well-off, much more successful, much more...everything than you are. What makes you think that you're good enough for Jocelyn?" The last line ran through my head as I headed off to my car. I saw Jeff get out his cell phone and began to worry. I fumbled for my cell and made a quick call to Jocelyn...

Jocelyn: "Moshimoshi...hello?"

"Yeah, it's Tom...I've got some serious problems. Jeff just said he's taking it on himself to be the one to give me some ribs- keep me grounded now that I'm the champ. So if he tells you anything about me in the next few days, take it with a grain of salt, okay?"

Jocelyn: "I see...but why was it so important to call me about this?"

"Um, it just is. I'll talk to you Thursday!" I hung up the phone and headed off for a trip to home, hoping Jeff didn't handle anything...

(Meanwhile, on Jeff's side...)

Jeff: "So, what's going on, Bro? Yeah...you wouldn't guess the news...guess who's got the hots for our little sister? No way...how'd you guess? Well, you want to tell Dad or should I? I guess that'll be the best idea...I'll tell him. Hopefully, we can put that punk in his place. No one goes after our sister without OUR permission to do so, got that? Okay...bye..." Jeff hung up the phone as the scene shifted to Bradley Richter at the end of the Raw tapings...

Shane: "So, who was on the line, huh, huh?"

Brad: "Oh, that was Jeff...he was telling me how your little brother's got it bad for my sister or something..."

Shane: "That was it? Honestly, does your brother even READ the story thus far?"

Brad: "Don't ask me- that guy's been on a different planet fighting Darth Vader with the Warrior for years now, you know that..."

( wOw Notes: I...I am shamed...I shame my ancestors with how...how NORMAL wOw Memorial is turning out as. I shame the great legend of whacked Out wrestling, and must make amends. I want to become better. I want to make wOw Memorial truly the weirdest thing out there. Sure, we are one of the weirdest series on the Diary Dome, but what about beyond this? I must make wOw Memorial the weirdest, most whacked Out thing that is possible. I must now train in the wilderness to find the true psychosis of humanity, and can give the fans the weirdest thing they have ever read...

InterKnight: "Sorry, wOwM fans...this is why I tried to keep FLCL away from Reflecto...he went and found it, and now he has this determination to make wOw Memorial weirder than it already is. I'll try to keep Reflecto in line as always, but right now, I don't know if that'll be possible..." )

RavenBlack · March 23, 2005

Heh. There's actually a deep significance behind FLCL (as there is behind most anime), but it takes repeated viewings of the whole series to even begin to understand. Doing that would further weird everyone out, so...

stokeriño · March 23, 2005

Well, that's Gainax for you...

I swear Reflecto, you don't want to go Gainax on us. That would just be...very, very disturbing. And only sometimes in the good way.

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 24, 2005

Meanwhile, on the road back to Jared Steele's compound, Jared and his friends were left under the cover of the late-night sky...

Vance: "Why do we have to go during this time?"

Missy: "Um...because we can't afford to be seen by the Redemption Crew's men?"

Jared: "Yeah, besides-it's not like there's anything else to do by day. The night time has all the fun stuff." The four continued their trek, finally making it to a cleared out forest.

MICKIE: "My circuits need rest, Missy! Can't we find some car and procure it?"

Jared: "Yeah, I don't like walking through this area...isn't there anything that will let us have a quick way home?" Just then, the four were shocked to see a UFO come down to the clearing and open up in front of them, giving way to a number of warriors dressed up in Max Moon's old WWE outfit...

Leader: "GIVE US THE ROBOT, HUMANS..." MICKIE proceeded to cringe next to Jared...

MICKIE: "No, Jared! Don't let them take me, pleasepleaseplease! I don't wanna go back..."

Jared: "Wait...go back? What's the problem?"

Leader: "We gave Krebstar our technology in exchange for a draft pick. They used the technology to create the one you call MICKIE-KNUCKLES. They reneged on the draft pick. We want our technology back. GIVE US THE ROBOT, HUMANS..." MICKIE looked at Jared with her sad, Robot eyes...

MICKIE: "Please save me, Jared..." Jared looked at the leader...

Jared: "Okay. Take her." Just then, all three of his fellow travellers grabbed mallets...

Missy: "NO! Bad! This is where the leader is supposed to take charge, Jared!"

MICKIE: "NO! BAD! I don't wanna go back! Meany!"

Vance: "NO! BAD! Ain't NO way I'm letting you get rid of her! I mean, two guys, one girl- I'll be the odd man out in this story!"

Meanwhile, IRL:

The InterKnight: "NO! BAD Reflecto! There's no way Jared would do that to MICKIE!"

Reflecto: "Okay, okay, I'll rewrite it..."

Back in the story:

Jared: "Okay, okay, I'll stand up...we are NOT going to give you MICKIE, you alien scum!" The leader looked at Jared angrily...

Leader: "Oh, you do not know what you have gotten yourself into, puny human."

Jared: "Oh, we're so scared of a bunch of Max Moon wannabees! Do your worst..."

Leader: "Fine then. Prepare yourself, human..." Just then, one of the Moonies grabbed a boombox and pressed play on it... "...'CAUSE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS GONNA GET SERVED!" The Moonies all proceeded to start up an intricate breakdancing routine in front of Team Steele...

Missy: "Um...I think we're in trouble here..." (Suddenly and without warning, The InterKnight,RavenBlack, and Stokerino headed over to where Reflecto was writing...

The InterKnight: "Sorry, Flec, but I had to stage this Intervention..."

RavenBlack: "We think you've lost your mind."

Stokerino: "Come back from the edge, man...I'll give you more anime...saner anime...you'll get back to your roots as a nice, normal one..."

NO! I must become a brilliant, insane, tortured genius so that wOw Memorial will live on forever on EWB!)

Meanwhile, at the XPlosion tapings, our hero was fumbling for the right words...

"Okay, Jocelyn...so, everything's going all right, right? No weird calls? No, that sounds too suspicious. Crud- I have to find her before things get out of hand..." I searched around the backstage area looking for her, hoping that I could find her. I managed to find Teddy Hart walking around backstage, as he headed over to me...

Hart: "Oh, Tom Goddard. I regret to inform you I am still no closer to my goal. If I do not manage to screw Vince McMahon. If this does not keep up, I may be forced to committ Seppuku for the good of my school's name..."

"Um, yeah, Teddy. Give it a little while, first. Your career's young enough so you could 'screw Vince McMahon' very soon."

Hart: "Thank you for your words of respect, Tom Goddard. You honor me..."

"Anyway, have you seen Jocelyn around? I need to talk to her..."

Hart: "She is in her dressing room, last I heard. She must get ready. What is your problem?"

"Oh, you know- just need to talk."

Hart: "Oh, I see...you have the goal to screw Jocelyn Richter like I must screw Vince McMahon, do you not?"

"ICK ICK ICK! It is not like that, I couldn't DO that to her, so stop with your perverted ninja fantasies!"

Hart: "This is for you forcing me to cruise around with Elmo- that puppet's a fucking pervert! He totally had his head in the gutter, Tom!"

"Well, so do you, you perverted ninja wannabe!"

Hart: "Overpushed, overhyped second-rater who's only where he is because of his family!"

"Takes one to know one!"

Hart: "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Hart: "At least me and Jack are billed as 'Just a tag team' and not something more..."

"It's a gimmick! All an act!" I had to leave as Teddy continued his verbal attack- I didn't want to start going. I couldn't exactly follow into the women's dressing room, so I just decided to get ready and hope for the best...maybe she didn't hear from Jeff yet...

(Meanwhile, in the women's locker room...)

Jocelyn: "(Okay. You know what Tom told you. Jeff was ribbing him. He must have been. There's no way Tom would be in love with me...not when he has virtually every girl in American pro wrestling throwing themselves at him...) " Jocelyn finished getting ready and proceeded to head out to the announce table for the XPlosion tapings, to meet up with Dave Meltzer...

Meltzer: "So, have you finished getting pretty enough for the short times you're on camera?"

Jocelyn: "(Come on- this had to be a joke. Tom...in love...with me? Really? That's such a lie...if he was, he would have done something when we were alone together...) ...uh...yeah...right..."

Meltzer: "Excellent...you've become the latest female wrestling cokewhore...oh, I'm going to LOVE teeing off on your Tribute..."

Jocelyn: "(But could he have been right? I don't know- if it was, why was Tom so quick to diffuse it? Wouldn't he celebrate a chance to let me know how he feels?) Yeah...right...that's great, Dave..."

Meltzer: "Well, whatever...just make sure to sparkle for the cameras- I'm not having you bring me down again..."

Jocelyn: "(Oh, why does this have to happen! Why'd my own brother have to pull something like that?)...yeah...right..." The lights hit as NWATNA XPlosion started. Jocelyn tried to find her center as the show began...

NWATNA XPlosion (wOw Notes: Since it's obvious no one reads this diary for the match results, I figure this is a good start to the diary going further through the outer reaches of my mind...)

As XPlosion started, Goldylocks was backstage with her clients and took the mic...

Goldylocks: "I do NOT believe this. Someone in TNA has GOT to have something against my man, the true Unstoppable Force of TNA, John Walters. I mean, they claim that this...this Joey Idol peon had you beaten, so he gets ANOTHER shot at you?"

Walters: "..."

Goldylocks: "Honestly, Johnny...you WON that match! You proved you're better than him! He walked off, you stayed, you're better than he is!"

Walters: "..."

Young: "well, he did have him beaten..."

Goldylocks: "Quiet, you! The fact of the matter is, Joey Idol is a LOSER. And John Walters- he is a winner. Tonight, he is going to go out there and win AGAIN, to show the world just how much of a second rater Joey Idol really is!"

Walters: "...Whatever."

(75)

John Walters v. Joey Idol

Sadly beautiful and vaguely childish/was the look upon your face/on the day that we first met,/as you crashed into me on the sidewalk of our snowy town/You see me as your sidekick to start/as if you searched me out/as the missing piece of your puzzle,/a kindred lost soul for you to take home and keep/you bring a path of inner peace/in the endless questioning /of where we exactly stand/between lovers, friends, and troublemaking acquaintances/You let me in your special place/I watch you search for where that is only to find/my sixth sense has given way to reality/You disappear from my life/then return when I get ready to move on/as your kiss remains on my lips/and your face in my mind while I can't remove it evermore... As the match continued, Joey Idol proceeded to get the advantage on John Walters again, managing to hit a Kaostrify on Walters.

Meltzer: "This is it! The streak is over..." Idol proceeded to cover Walters, getting a two before he broke the pinfall and walked out of the ring.

Joey Idol: "DO YOU SEE? DO YOU SEE? I am BETTER Than that guy is! I am the best wrestler in the world today, and ain't nobody going to defeat me!" The referee called for the countout, as John Walters got the victory again.

Richter: "What is up with Joey Idol? He always comes this close to winning, then just lets them count him out. What goes on through his head?"

(37, 82, 59)

After the break, the Hart Foundation 2k3 headed to the ring to a scattering of cheers. Just then, the Briscoes came to the ring and took the mic...

Jay Briscoe: "Well, well, well, look who we have here. Two losers who think they're the new second coming of the Hart Foundation? Well, I look at you and see two little bitches!"

Mark Briscoe: "The only question I have is- which of these bitches is going to be the one who TAPS OUT, then goes home to cry to mommy and daddy about how they tapped out, and which is the one who does the world a favor and takes a header down 70 feet or something?" The crowd gave MASSIVE "We hate you, Please Die" heat to that statement as the Hart Foundation 2K3 did stereo Planchas to attack the Briscoes as the match began...

The Hart Foundation 2k3 v. The Briscoes

Something good happened today,/now to wait for the fallout/It seems so sad for me to say/but life just gives me too many reasons to pout/Equivalent exchange is the rule/It guides my life as it seals my fate/I'm just looking for that one tool/That can sweep all life's Brussels sprouts off of my plate/There's too many crosses for me to bear/and too much blame that I have to shoulder/I need a time when I won't have a care,/when I won't have to deal with this godforsaken boulder/I've got all the pain that money can buy/and all the woes that I'm forced to own/Equivalent exchange taught me to cry/could someone get me a Philosopher's Stone? The Hart Foundation 2k3 won the match following a nice Hart Attack on Jay Briscoe, providing the victory. Awesome match to watch.

(53, 97, 75)

D'Lo Brown v. Legend

My out-of-style is coming back/to the days when I felt whole/My love returns to the front of my mind/as retro rises to take the pole/I see the themes I cried out for you to/as historical artifacts/and I lament the fact I haven't gotten over you/an entirely depressing fact/My youth is on my TV screen/a pathway to my light/and my retro love is still too strong/for me to ever want to fight/Your face is seen in the kitsch of the day/though then I couldn't tell a soul/though I can't have you by my side/I can watch the past in my personal hole/Will you ever just go to rest?/The odds seem to be as small as a crumb/I'm still loyal to your memory/even if it is SO last millennium... D'Lo Brown managed to get the fairly dominant victory over Legend, and I was a little disappointed- this wasn't as good a match as I expected it would be, though still worth being on my television

(69, 75, 72)

After the break, I heard our cue start up. I tried to talk to Jayce beforehand, but he was busy getting in the right mind for his matchup. I proceeded to wait-hopefully there would be time during the match to talk to him. I headed out to the ring and proceeded to get in character...

After the break, Bad Luck headed out to the ring carrying their NWA Tag Team titles. Tom Goddard took the mic...

Goddard: "Thank you, thank you! You people are too kind to us! Oh, this is such a great day for us, you see...tonight we get to defeat one of those...baser teams you people are so attached to for some reason. Two of those...icky rednecks will FINALLY see what it is like to be in the ring with a team that has some class about them, and the WORLD will be better for it! Now, my youthful ward in those HOT tights, Mr.Simmons, do you have anything else to say about them?"

Simmons: "Yo yo, Mr.Jay-Ce and the T-Godd are here kickin' it live for all of you, and those America's Most Wanted punks are gonna go down like a groupie after the matches for the Bad Luck tip, ya know?"

Goddard: "Ooh...another language..." Just then, to strengthen the match's homoeroticism, the crowd cheered as the entrance for America's Most Wanted started...

user posted image

The two headed to the ring and started the match...

(TAG TEAM) Bad Luck v. America's Most Wanted

Well, the crowd liked the match, at the very least...these two teams managed to put on a decent show in the ring, albeit a fairly basic one. It didn't seem like the two teams meshed together very well, proceeding to put on what could have definitely been a better match. Considering that AMW are the standard-bearers for NWATNA tag teams and Bad Luck consist of one of the top prospects in TNA and arguably the best wrestler in the world today, they could have been world-class here. I don't know why, but it seems like someone was phoning it in tonight. Anyway, the match went pretty well besides these things- if you have to pick two teams who can phone it in and still do all right, you'd be all right picking these two to do it. Bad Luck got the win following a Glitter Mist by Goddard onto Chris Harris, leaving him open for a Jayce Simmons Missile Dropkick for the big victory. After the match, the two celebrated in the ring as XPlosion ended...

(72, 82,77)

Over: 72

After the match, I proceeded to talk to Jayce after the show...

"So, Jayce- how's your social life been since heading to TNA?"

Jayce: "Look, Tom, you're my boy and all, but I'm just gonna let you know- I'm only your little gay lover ONSCREEN, not off..."

"Dude, who told you I was that way?"

Jayce: "Oh, Court Bauer spread that thing around all over for a pretty long time..."

"When did Court tell you anything believable about me? Anyway, I was checking on the girlfriend front. I think there's this one friend of mine who's interested in you..."

Jayce: "Oh, really? Sounds great. Set me up with her- if she's 100 proof, I'll give her a chance."

"Coolness...(Remember, Tom...even when her heart is breaking, a true princess does not cry...)...I'm sure she'll be happy to know that...*sniffle* I'll talk to you Sunday..." I left Jayce over there and proceeded to look for Jocelyn, finally finding her near her car as she was heading off...

"Jocelyn...he said he's interested. Shall I set something up for Sunday...?"

Jocelyn: "Huh? Yeah, whatever...I'll talk to you when we get home, okay?"

Edited March 24, 2005 by Reflecto

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · March 31, 2005

Meanwhile, back with the boys (and girl...and robot...) in Team Steele...

Missy: "Their mad B-Boy skillz are overtaking us, Jared! If you don't hurry, we're gonna get served something fierce! What are you going to do to stop them?"

I...I love you...

Let's kick some Moonie Ass!

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do...Two Chicks at the Same Time, man! Now, you, MICKIE, get over here... <----

Vance: "Fuckin A, man, Fuckin' A..."

Missy: "THIS IS NEITHER THE TIME NOR THE PLACE FOR JOKES! NOW GET IN THERE AND REPRESENT!" Jared proceeded to start out slow, proceeding to bring the others in as needed and slowly building to a huge breakdancing display featuring the team.

Moonie 2: "Oh, SNAP! We gettin' served here, boss!"

Moonie 1: "Not if I can help it...READY MY MULTI-RAY!" A third Moonie proceeded to pass the first Moonie a somewhat smallish, laser gun-type of weapon.

Moonie 1: "I believe I will set my weapon to 'Mooninite' to start...." The Moonie shot the ray, which proceeded to send out a large square laser towards the three, which then headed towards Jared.

MICKIE: "No! If a mortal feels that, they'll disappear in a puff of sound effects! I must save him!" As Jared was finishing up his routine, MICKIE pushed him out of the way of the laser, taking the effects of it...

Jared: "MICKIE! You...you saved my life...but...how will you manage to be all right?"

MICKIE: "Don't...don't worry about me...I'm just a robot...right? I...can be fixed..." Just then, Jared felt a huge inner monologue coming on...

Jared: ("I...I see. She's just a robot...but she must have feelings like a human. Otherwise, she wouldn't have saved me, right? Besides, I didn't see Vance or Missy jump on me to save my life...scratch that. She's more compassionate than a human She's more perfect, more caring, than any of these humans I am left to fight with are. I...I can't deny that part of this anymore...)" Just then, his inner monologue was broken by a sudden attack by two Moonies...until a strange, eerie noise that appeared to be made from a Casio keyboard came through. Suddenly, a large beast came through and began to attack the Moonies...

Missy: "Oh, my God. That's what I think it is. It's the legendary summoner's Aeon, the Chicken Cow! That must mean that...SHE is in the area somewhere! My...my teacher has come to save us..." The Chicken Cow proceeded to give all of the Moonies a war hell ride, then went back into the call of its master as she headed to the forefront...

Master: "So, Missy...THESE are the people you've been destined for? Oh, hi, Jared...how's your career going?"

Jared: "Oh, snap...Ms. Blayze? I thought you just trained wrestlers now, not that you summoned great beasts to save our cute little asses..."

Alundra Blayze: "Sorry I didn't tell you when you were training with me, Jared. Yes, in my spare time, I am an experienced summoner. I had been for a little while now, ever since my training with the most legendary summoner from the US ever...

Missy: "Ah, yes...a shame what happened to Mr.Willis..."

Blayze: "It happens to all, young lady. Anyway, I was able to summon some of his aeons, and since then I have split my time between wrestling, monster truck driving, and saving the earth one battle at a time."

Vance: "Then you'll help us fight the Redemption Crew?"

Blayze: "Hold on...you three are planning to take down the entire Redemption Crew? Are you people high? They have so many people involved it'll take more than just a borderline-talented indy worker, a lucky guy, and a sorceress..."

Jared: "So you'll help us, right? I know you have people who'll go for it..."

Blayze: "Oh, what the hey. But you WILL need more people to go after the Crew, you realize this, right?"

Missy: "Of course we do. Now, let's get back to Jared's home- we can steal their spaceship to help us out..." The four grabbed MICKIE's broken body and headed to the ship. Jared proceeded to steal the Multi-Ray as he headed in and proceeded to tune in on the spaceship's monitor to see what was going on in wOw TV...

wOw Jakked

Roderick Strong v. Austin Aries

Well, this match was surprisingly good. I hadn't heard much about Aries and Strong's been hit-or-miss for the most part, but these two managed to put on a decent enough match for the most part. The two proceeded to mesh together fairly well, opening a lot of people's eyes for the matchup. Hopefully, this will lead to more opportunities for these two workers. Just as Austin Aries headed to the top for a 450 Splash, Nurse Lulu headed to ringside. Aries grabbed a mic and asked "Will you...bear my child?", and in the distraction Roderick Strong came through and bodyslammed him off the top rope, then covered for the pin. Not bad at all...

(31, 85, 58)

Carter: "This next match is going to be big- apparently, the winner of this match will receive a shot at the wOw Transcontinental Title at a later date, anytime within the next six months!"

Gristleizer: "You stole that from somewhere, didn't you?"

(Um...no...I swear...) Just then, Alex Shelley came to the ring being accompanied by Jimmy Jacobs and Becky Bayless. Shelley proceeded to do his nice finish (as I keep wondering how wOw pays for all the windows they break to get this done), and waits...until a fire starts as Gronda comes to the ring...

Gronda: "KNEEL BEFORE GRONDA, MORTALS! GRONDA IS DEVIL TESTICLE LOVE! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM AT THE HANDS OF THE MOST DOMINANT MONSTER IN wOw-GRONDA! GRONDA!"

Alex Shelley v. Gronda

Well, I'm surprised that this match seemed to work. Alex Shelley's...you know, talent, and Gronda's...well, he's certainly menacing-looking, in that "Every gay man's rape fantasy come to life" way...The two actually managed to put on a decent match, considering the demon Gronda still hasn't gotten the hang of wrestling yet. Alex Shelley doesn't seem to have a crowd reaction as well, as they shat on him in the match. However, what Shelley lacks in actual skills he makes up for in being friends with people in high places, so he naturally took the advantage. Shelley managed to hit a Springboard Dropkick on Gronda, then put his hands to his head as Gronda tapped out without Alex Shelley touching him. Well, nice ways to get the gimmick over, but pretty subpar...

After the match, Gronda took the mic...

Gronda: "NOOOOOOOOOOO! GRONDA WAS DEFEATED! NOW GRONDA WILL CRY TEARS LIKE WATERFALLS! GRONDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...."

(40, 80, 60)

Lori Angel v. Fabi Apache

Well, it's official, Lori Angel is pretty much a wash as National Women's Champ. I'm sorry, but in a fed with arguably the two greatest female wrestlers to come out of America ever and most of the best women in the world today under contract, just being decent doesn't really cut it. Angel puts on subpar matches, and subpar just isn't good enough for wOw. Fabi Apache might be a reason for it here, as she stunk up the ring for a good portion of it. Angel tried her best, but like I said, trying's not enough for World Title contention. Lori Angel got the victory, which works- if she doesn't have the talent, she needs some old-fashioned credibility.

(47, 56, 51)

The Stampede Bulldogs v. Hart Foundation 2k3

Finally, a match which was almost blue-chip to be awesome. This match managed to proceed to be one of the best matches of the night, which was expectable due to how well these teams knew each other. The teams meshed better than usual, and managed to put on a decent matchup together as well. The Hart Foundation 2k3 took an advantage, which was decent considering how the Stampedes haven't set the wOw fans on fire yet. The Stampede Bulldogs did get the win following some interference by Nattie Neidhart, however, which was a poor result for the match. Eh, it was what it was...

(47, 86, 66)

Over: 59

Meanwhile, in the hands of our hero:

I was watching Flagship, when I received a phone call from Robbie. "Oh crap," I thought. "Jeff probably called him..." I answered the phone hesitantly as I waited to be cursed out by him, only to hear him on the other line...

Robbie: "I can't believe it...oh L.Ron, it's finally happened!"

"What- what's wrong?"

Robbie: "Quick...just turn on Comedy Central, okay?" I switched the channel, only to be shocked by the commercial I saw...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Voiceover: "When Comedy Central wanted to get into the wrestling game, the federation they'd choose would need something special... something like, great humor..." A shot of T3h K36 in the ring was seen on it...

"...Hot women..." A scene was shown of Jocelyn Richter and Jamie Kogyaru mugging it up for the camera.

"...Characters people can care for..." A scene was shown of Butterbean getting hit in the navel and going down...

"...and, oh yeah, some of the best wrestling on the planet." Scenes were shown of a Tom Goddard/Steve Evans matchup, Finale tearing D'Lo Brown apart, and other such matches.

"Starting this Saturday, Comedy Central brings you the Flagship for the wildest, most insane action on this side of the East Coast, with a more whacked Out flavor than other wrestling companies can offer.

whacked Out wrestling Flagship: It's not your Father's Professional Wrestling.

Premiering Tomorrow night at 8 p.m., 7 p.m. central, ONLY on Comedy Central..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are...Are you serious? HOLY SHIT, Did I just see what I think I saw?"

Robbie: "I know! The deal went through earlier this week- we did it! After nearly 30 years, wOw has a national TV deal! They're giving us 12 weeks to start with a station option to up it to a 1 year deal! I can't believe it- never in my wildest dreams would I think we'd get national TV! Oh, I'm so excited for tomorrow night I can hardly contain myself! You'll be there, right?"

"Of course- the new style of AWA PPVs will make it easier for me..."

Robbie: "Excellent! I'll talk to you tomorrow, Tom..." I hung up the phone, excited. At long last, I was going to have a major station in my home base. I couldn't sleep for most of the night as I waited for the next day to come...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · April 5, 2005

The next night, the entirety of the wOw locker room was electric. We knew that we were on a short leash, but we were all willing to get to the top. Steve headed over to me as I was getting ready...

Steve "You ready for the big time? Nationwide, people watching all over America...big opportunity..."

"Um, I've main-evented PPVs on a regular basis. I can handle the pressure. The better question is- are YOU able to actually wrestle on major TV, Mr. Cup-of-Coffee..."

Steve: "Oh, come now- you KNOW I have the talent. I can carry this company as champ through this era."

"I hope so- you know I'll be here to make you look good, buddy..."

"Damn right..." We shook hands as Jocelyn headed over to us...

Jocelyn: "Hey, you two should watch it- we're a nationally-televised fed now, we need to keep a little bit of kayfabe going on, right?"

Steve: "Oh- should I leave you two lovebirds alone then?" Both of us started blushing uncontrollably as Steve continued, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Honestly, you're too serious- though, right now we probably should be..." Steve left. I was about to ask Jocelyn why she blushed, until Robbie came into the room and proceeded to talk to everyone...

Robbie: "All right, all right...can I get all of your attention for one minute?" The rest of us went silent as Robbie continued. "I can remember when this federation started. I remember what I was told when I let people know of my intent to run out of Providence. They told me, 'Robbie, you'll never make it- we're too small an area to be anything more than a sideshow attraction.' But I decided to go against them, and promote out of my hometown, because dammit, I decided I wanted to. Then the '80s came, and Vince decided he was too high and mighty to use our guys as jobbers, and went nationwide. Again the people told me, 'You'd be best served to close up now- with the WWF going national, you'll never be anything more than small-time if you keep running Providence!' But now- tonight, everything changes. Tonight, we strike a blow for EVERY mid-major federation in North America. Tonight, we do what absolutely no one in a million years could have predicted would happen- we're going out into that ring knowing that what we show tonight will be going Live nationwide on Comedy Central. Tonight, it doesn't matter what happens. Even if we go out there, suck a dick in the ring, and the execs from Comedy Central call me Sunday morning and say 'Robbie, we weren't impressed- we're pulling out of our deal', it won't matter, because we'll have won- we'll have been the mid-major federation that made it onto national Television, even for one night. But if we do what I KNOW we're going to do, and proceed to put on the best show we can for the cameras, we'll show the world the thing the people of Rhode Island have known since the '70s- that whacked Out wrestling is the BEST DAMN FEDERATION IN THE WORLD! Tonight, everyone in this locker room will go out there and pull off a miracle just getting onto television. Now, let's all go out there, kick ass, and make sure we're staying a while there!" The entire locker room yelled out its approval as Robbie led us all in a group hug as they gave us the cue for the show's start. We got ready as the opening that occurred kept running. Just then, a laser display hit as Flagship went live...

wOw Flagship

"WELCOME TO wOw Flagship, coming to you live on the only channel that matters, Comedy Central! Tonight is the greatest night in the history of our great sport, as we see the dawning of a new era in sports and entertainment- one that is truly whacked Out! I am your host, Tony Schiavone, and with me is Noah England, and we're here to bring you the best action in wrestling today!"

England: "That's right, Tony- each and every week here on Flagship, we'll be giving you the info on the hottest wrestlers on wOw's rosters, and to help us with that are our eyes in wOw, let's go to the reporters!" Just then, the scene shifted to a room where Madison Carter and Gristleizer were standing by...

Carter: "That's right, fans! We're here for the whacked Out wrestling 'At-A-Glance' routine, where me and my sidekick here will be happy to give you the info on all the wOw superstars you NEED to know..."

Gristleizer: "...while I'll be right here telling you the straight dope on who to put your money on if you want to make this a little more...interesting!"

Shinjiro Otani v. Harry Smith

Okay, this gets boring. I hate having to put random matches in just for the sake of keeping my in-game stuff going. Otani and Smith have rudimentary characters, no style, and are just there. Otani beat Smith- who cares.

(57, 81, 69)

After the break, Greg Burch was walking backstage. Just then, Homicide came over and started attacking him, then took a mic...

Homicide: "OKAY, PUNK! Tonight, I'ma gon' kick yo' ass STREET-STYLE! You gonna get yours, fool!"

Burch, beaten, still managed to respond...

Burch: "Sure thing...rich boy..."

Homicide: "WHAT'D YOU SAY, PUNK? I'MA KICK YOUR ASS OUT THERE TONIGHT! NO ONE PULLS THAT STUFF WITH HOMICIDE, YO!" The scene quickly shifted to Carter and Gristleizer in their studio...

(58)

Carter: "Now we've got some of the true most whacked Out tag teams in the division fighting for you, the fans! Let's get the info! This match faces off between Fast and Furious and The Klansmen. Fast and Furious are one of wOw's great two-sport superstars, as the two are well-respected throughout their native Canada as street racers before they decided they needed a new challenge- the whacked Out wrestling ring! These two will do whatever it takes to defeat their opponents for honor, respect, and pimping their ride to notches unknown, Grist!"

Gristleizer: "Don't count out the members of the Klansmen. Cade Sydal and Daron Smythe met each other through the skill of their land, the Ku Klux Klan. Since then, they made their goal to win the titles and destroy all unpure forms for the skill of wOw! The only question is, will they be able to do this tonight against Fast and Furious?" Just then, the scene shot to the Flagship "Too many Women under wOw Contract" Dancers as The Klansmen headed to the ring...

Cade: "People, people, people! Tonight, we're coming to you giving a necessary thing for the world. Fast and Furious are punishing this world, by naming their team after a movie that...that was popular with...with <<NICEGUYS>>! Tonight, we, as truly good Klansmen, cannot risk this team catching fire on national TV and getting THOSE kind of people into wOw shows. We need to purify wOw! WHITE POWER!" Just then, Fast and Furious headed down the ramp in their car and headed to the ring, attacking them to start the match.

Fast and Furious v. The Klansmen

Well, the crowd didn't seem to get into it in the stands, but it probably looked good on television. The two teams put on a very good matchup, so there was some decent entertainment value for the fans. The teams meshed well, which is always a good thing. The match quickly devolved to The Klansmen proceeding to get beaten down by Fast and Furious for a good portion of the show. Fast and Furious managed to hit a nice 3-D type move (that the announcers sold as the Drift) for the victory. Not bad as a whole.

(34, 82, 58)

After the break, Ricky Marvin headed to the ring and took the mic...

Marvin: "HELLO, everybody! Ricky Marvin has come once again to wrestle, play his music, and shake his bon-bon! However, tonight I do not come alone for this match. I bring you another, someone who is here to watch my sexy little bon-bon! I give you, my manager- SANCHO!" Just then, a stylish-looking Latino man came to the ring and took the mic...

Sancho: "Sancho has come. Who is the poor deluded fool who thinks that he is able to face off with Sancho and Ricky Marvin?" Just then, Stalker Ichikawa was pushed out to the ring by some unseen person as the match began...

(CRUISERWEIGHT) Ricky Marvin v. Stalker Ichikawa

This was a surprisingly good match. Ricky Marvin took the advantage from the beginning, proceeding to attack Stalker Ichikawa viciously for most of the matchup. Sancho used liberal use of interference, allowing Marvin to get a lot of chances to punish Ichikawa. The match proceeded to keep going as a glorified squash. Just as Marvin was ready to hit a Tornillo, Marvin stopped to shake his bon-bon first...only to have Stalker Ichikawa hit a Kanchou on him beforehand! Ichikawa made a Schoolboy Rollup (as Marvin looked pleased), then rolled him up for a massive upset! After the match, Barry Horowitz headed out to the ring and celebrated with his partner in jobbing as the crowd...was silent, but what are you going to do.

(36, 90, 63) (And here we have an example of why it's a bad thing to book too far in advance. I booked Marvin's title reign to an end here before I came up with his character, and as a result am stuck with this when I wanted to keep the gimmick going. My bad.)

Homicide v. Greg Burch

You play like we're lovers/but cannot reach into my soul/you'd hate the man I am on the inside /as it comes out/when my wings unfurl again towards the proof my the lie. You try to come on my next mission/as I let the facade go up/but could you ever find it in your heart/to go through when the truth comes out? A sacred maiden that hates how the game is being played/ but doesn't know it's impossible to hate this game without the player involved/ fused together like a statue, they cannot be pushed asunder/ and if they could, would you still try to play like we're in love, or find a way to make the play the real thing? For until then, I must go and let my other side out to play, until someday I can shut him away for you, until someday I am all that's left for you. The two just tore into each other, being less like a battle of skill and more like a battle of attrition. Finally, Greg Burch was hit with multiple Cop Killas by Homicide, being unable to get up and giving Homicide the win. After the match, Homicide celebrated with his title- until Alex Shelley came out to the ring and demanded his shot- RIGHT NOW~!

Homicide v. Alex Shelley

This was almost no contest. Homicide had so much taken out of him that it was all too easy for Shelley to lock in a nice submission hold, getting Homicide to tap like a bitch and giving the upset title change.

(42, 89, 65)

(WORLD) Steve Evans v. Paul London

Well, this was an awesome match that the crowd was surprisingly dead for. It seems that they're lucky most of this goes to television, because the fans at home got a great show. Evans and London meshed really well in the ring, with Veronica Diamond using liberal distraction to the referee, allowing the Diamond Exchange to attack London viciously. Steve Evans utilized this to great advantage, getting to the top rope to tee off with dazzling moves on London for most of the match. Paul London tried to fight back, but having no real allies as big as Evans's hurt him too much for the matchup to come through. Evans managed to hit a Slight Remix (450 Splash) on Paul London, giving him the easy title defense.

(47, 96, 71)

After the match, Steve Evans took the mic...

Evans: "Thank you, thank you! This is a great thrill, people! Tonight, as wOw goes live, YOU PEOPLE get to see the new era of whacked Out wrestling, and the leader of this great era- the era of the Saturday Night Special, Steve Evans! Flagship is MY show, and I am UNSTOPPABLE here on this network! The only question is who will be the next victim to fall to YOUR World Champion?" Just then, Tom Goddard's face showed up on the wOwTron to huge cheers as he took the mic...

Goddard: "Steve, Steve, Steve. You know, I can buy your claims. You really are like a Saturday Night Special...you're SMALL, you're SECOND-RATE, and you can't SHOOT STRAIGHT...oh, wait, you can't shoot it into Straights...my bad... Anyway, I keep hearing your spiels, but I will give you your credit. That title is yours, and you wear it well." The crowd booed a bit... "However, THIS title is MINE..." The camera went down to show the AWA World Title around Goddard's waist. "And that's your trouble. You keep going on and on, but the fact of the matter is- I'm just in a whole other league from you. I'm Shawn Michaels, you're Marty Jannetty. I'm the darling of the Indies, you're just another guy with a great moveset. I'm the Daddy, you're just a little BITCH. Any questions?" The crowd cheered as the show went to an end...

(84)

Over: 69

After the show, Robbie took the phone...

Robbie: "Yes...what? You loved the show? You're giving us the 1-year extension? Why- that's fantastic! Thank you so much, we won't let you down!" Robbie hung up the phone... "WE DID IT! We passed our first test- they're giving us our 1 year contract!" The rest of the people in back cheered as we uncorked some champagne bottles. Jocelyn and I proceeded to take off before the alcohol was served for our ride to Nashville and the TNA tapings. We headed off into the night as Robbie received a call from Jeff...

Robbie: "Oh, hi son...yes? Well, are you certain?...You know that's damn near slander, son...I have to ask you, are you absolutely sure this is true?...Well, if it is, you're taking down one of our top workers...you have the proof? Well, this changes things...I'll take care of it..." Robbie hung up the phone...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · April 16, 2005

Meanwhile, as our hero and heroine were on their way to Nashville for the TNA PPV, Robbie Richter tried to deal with the news he had just heard...

Richter: "I...I'm speechless. I should've thought this was going to happen- hell, they've spent so much time together, I should have seen this coming a mile away, but it still- is something I never wanted to occur. Not my little girl- I never wanted my top worker to fall for her. What do I do? On the one hand, this is her oldest friend- someone who I would be proud to have as a son-in-law. But on the other- I cannot let people think I'm pushing Tom Goddard because he's dating my little girl. I cannot find out the way to do this. I mean, do I keep him away from my daughter because he's my best worker, or help bring them together because it's her best friend?" Robbie headed over to a faded picture of a middle-aged looking woman. "Oh, Marie...what am I supposed to do? Give me some answers..." Just then, Tom and Jocelyn were still driving...

"Um...I just got a weird chill...you know how it feels when something's not going to be the same when we get back?"

Jocelyn: "That can be a good thing. When things never stay the same, then things are bound to get more interesting, right?"

"I guess you're right..." We headed towards a rest stop, where the AWA PPV was playing and sat down...

(Reflecto Notes: You may be wondering why there haven't been any updates in the last week or so- a huge problem with someone as prolific as I am. The reason is simple: I'm not sure why, but it seems that I've lost the ability to write matches. I can barely write the non-match stuff that people read this diary for- well, just barely, at least (mostly due to time constraints), but when it comes to writing the matches, I just can't bring myself to do it. Maybe it's the amount of papers I have due, maybe it's the medication I've been put on, maybe it's just simple ennui, but the fact remains that my heart's just not into writing matches, and hasn't been for a little while now. Hopefully I can get this back, but until then expect no match results for a little bit. Here's hoping that this will be ridden out.)

AWA: Major League Wrestling

Ballard Brothers d. The Strong Brothers- Jobber Match (29, 80, 54)

Harry Potsmoker interview on Chance Beckett (96)

Austin Aries d. Tony Mamaluke (45, 79, 62)

AWA gives newsbreak of Alex Shelley winning the AWA East Coast Title on wOw Primetime (61)

Celebration party in the Death Eaters' locker room regarding victory (100)

Debut video for mysterious Grunge Rocker (49)

Chris Chetti makes open challenge, accepted by Mike Awesome (64)

Mike Awesome d. Chris Chetti (61, 74, 67)

Harry Potsmoker d. Frank Shamrock to retain AWA World Title- Chance Beckett interferes (86, 87, 86)

Over: 74

The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

Recommended Posts

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Recently Browsing 0 members

Important Information