The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

stokeriño · January 25, 2005

Surely they realise that girls are the greatest ass-kicking machines in all of manga?

A power than is inversely proportional to age, and enhanced by accessories such as sailor school uniforms, cat ears, and repeated unnecessary panty shots.

Not that Roderick would be at all comforted by this, of course. Foolishly Optimistic Dimwit Doomed to Eternal (female) Retribution (FODDER) that he is... :shifty:

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · January 25, 2005

WWE No Mercy

As No Mercy's Heat match started, Matt Cross headed into the ring, seemingly shivering as he entered. Just then, a Limp Bizkit cover of "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" hit as Shannon Moore headed to the ring and took the mic...

Moore: "Okay, people...I am TOTALLY shocked by the WWE's insistence that this match go on. I mean, come on. Matty, Matty, Matty...you're a good person...I just KNOW you would NEVER be willing to hit a cute, defenseless girl like me..." The crowd booed at that statement... "...so anyways, why don't we just stop this matchup? If you'd be willing to, I might be willing to go on a date with you..." Matt Cross looked at Moore, then hit him with a Plancha to begin the matchup!

Shannon Moore v. Matt Cross

WOW. Now THIS was a match to start the show off. I had some misgivings about the WWE hiring the guy from the Backyard Wrestling tapes, but this match really took them away with its skills. Matt Cross and Shannon Moore managed to put on an awesome match that the crowd got more and more into as it kept going. Unfortunately, that wasn't long, for the most part, as CRUISERWEIGHTS DON'T GET OVER~! As a result, Matt Cross got an advantage, until Shannon Moore made a call out to the back. Just then, Max Impact came out to the ring wearing a horse's head and a gigantic hot glue gun, proceeding to shoot hot glue on Matt Cross, sending him to the mat and allowing Shannon Moore to make the pin. After the match, Shannon Moore took the mic...

Moore: "I figured, since all these boys are trying to attack Raw's CUTEST Diva, I had to get someone to watch my back, so I give you all, Biomonster HOSS!" Biomonster HOSS made a neighing noise as the PPV started...

(56, 93, 74)

(WWE Tag Team) Diamond and Swinger v. Mark Henry and Rodney Mack

Well, this was a surprisingly good matchup...well, for being a Mark Henry and Rodney Mack match, at least. Diamond and Swinger proceeded to carry Henry and Mack nicely for most of the match, as the four put on at least a passable showing. The crowd got into it somewhat decently, as Theodore Long and Dawn Marie proceeded to keep the crowd interested. Mark Henry suddenly locked Johnny Swinger in a Bearhug, taking the advantage. As Dawn Marie proceeded to distract the referee, Simon Diamond grabbed a chair, cracked Mark Henry over the head, only to have it no-sold save for sending the two down to the mat. Frustrated, Diamond took the chair and threw it to right near where Theodore Long was on the apron cheering Henry on. Just then, the referee turned around and saw Long with the chair near him and Henry and Swinger in the Bearhug...then called for a DQ, giving the win to Diamond and Swinger! Henry and Mack were livid as the belts were given back to Diamond and Swinger...

Jim Ross: "This...this is a BAH-GAWD shame! This misunderstanding has just ended the career of Theodore Long here tonight!"

Lawler: "Who cares? Dawn Marie! PUPPIES!"

(67, 79, 73)

After the match, Theodore Long took the mic...

Long: "One last time, LEMME HOLLA AT YA PLAYA! Now, I may have been screwed, I may not have been screwed just now. The fact remains, though, that I said I would retire if my boys didn't keep Thuggin' and Buggin' their way to the Tag Team Titles, and they lost before they could. As a result, I gotta keep my end of this thang, b'lee dat!" The crowd gave a scattered respect pop as Long continued. "Now, just because I'm gonna hit the dusty trail don't mean that there won't be nobody Thuggin' and Buggin' on Monday Nights, oh no. You see, the person who can keep doin' that is the same as he's always been- my man, Rodney Mack, b'lee dat!" Rodney Mack headed over and raised Theodore Long's hand as the cheers continued.

Long: "Yes, yes, Rodney Mack be Thuggin' and Buggin' like there's no tomorrow, b'lee dat! However, that does mean there's not room for a pretender...someone who was supposed to, but lost me my career...Mr. Mack?" Rodney Mack then grabbed Mark Henry and attacked him viciously! Theodore Long cackled in delight as Rodney Mack beat down Mark Henry, finally locking in a Blackout!

Mack: "There ain't no room for two of us no mo', Henry! What'd all your strength do for you now?"

(Two angles combined: 70, 73)

(Intercontinental #1 Contender's Match) Lance Storm v. Maven

Well, this match proved once more that Maven's really come into his own as a heel. I'm not sure if it's being in a stable with workers like AJ Styles or being in a feud with Lance Storm, but his workrate has seemed to improve since joining up with Evolution. This match was no exception, as the two put on a decent show that the fans really seemed to like when it came through. Maven took the early advantage, hitting a number of DROPKICKS OF DOOM~! on Storm to keep him reeling. Suddenly, Storm took the advantage, using his great technical ability to punish Maven. Storm locked the Single Leg Crab on Maven, getting him to tap out. After the match, Lance Storm celebrated- until Rico ran in and attacked him. Not bad at all...

(83, 79, 81)

After the break, Jerry Lawler headed from the announce table for a match with Booker T. Just then, Booker T came down and took a mic...

Booker T: "Oh, I know you've been expecting to get me one-on-one tonight, but we've got an extra bonus: See, I was just talking to my man Eric Bischoff, and he's just made this a Tag Team Match! My partner's coming through...RIGHT NOW...!" Just then, the TitanTron resounded with the words "BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!" as John Heidenreich came down to the ring and made a beeline for Jerry Lawler.

Booker T: "Of course, since this is so new, I understand if you can't get a tag team partner- no problem, we're fine with making this a Handicap match..." Booker and Heidenreich started to gang up on Jerry Lawler, until a rap beat hit over the TitanTron and John Cena came down to the ring...

Cena: "Yo, yo, cut me a beat

John Cena in the house gonna bring the heat

I know that these suckas be bringing the pain

The King's bane, now Cena's here make them job like they oppose The Game,

It don't seem like there's no problem beating these clowns,

You got one <<NICEGUY>> and his mindless sidekick gonna go down,

Everyone gonna see John Cena is the best here,

Cause there ain't no one cooler than me and my sidekick the CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDD..." The fans finished it up as Cena hit the ring to even the sides up.

(81)

John Cena and Jerry Lawler v. Booker T and John Heidenreich

Oh dear Yevon, this was a bad one. These two teams just didn't mesh that well- maybe it was the basically thrown-together style of these teams, but the two put on the worst match of the night easily. Of course, considering the over-the-hill Lawler and Heidenreich were in the match, that's no surprise...This match was pretty straightforward as WWE matches go: Heidenreich and Booker T attack Lawler viciously, Lawler gets the HOT TAG~! to John Cena, Cena attacks violently, F-U to Heidenreich, the good guys win. Yeah, this is nothing new...

(81, 69, 77)

(Intercontinental) Rico v. Lance Storm

Whoa. It's official, Lance Storm is the MVP of this Pay-Per-View. Storm already had a great match with Maven on the card, and then went from that to have an awesome match with Rico to boot on the same show. Hopefully, this will lead to them pushing him harder than this- performances like this night should say he should be in main events and not just another person on the show. Rico's freshness made him put on an awesome mixture of styles for his skill, as the two performed a decent show in the ring. Miss Jackie managed to distract Lance Storm for a bit, allowing Rico to hit the Spin Kick on Lance Storm to get the victory. After the match, Rico celebrated in the ring- until Shane Goddard ran in and attacked him. Storm and Goddard looked at each other untrustingly as the show went to break...

(87, 84, 86)

(World Heavyweight) HHH v. The Hurricane

Well, at least this surprising elevation of The Hurricane has led to some excellent matches on the card...I'm still somewhat surprised Triple H and The Hurricane mesh as well as they do- Hurricane's high-flying and Triple H's power seem to be opposite sides of the coin. Even more surprising was The Hurricane's amount of offense- this seemed like more of a Triple H squash match than anything. Instead, The Hurricane managed to look at many times like he was going to win the match. Indeed, The Hurricane managed to hit an Eye of the Hurricane on Triple H, but just as he was about to get the pinfall, Shawn Michaels ran in and hit him with a Sweet Chin Music, drawing the DQ! After the match, Evolution headed in the ring and celebrated, until The Hurricane attacked Triple H viciously! The Hurricane teased a Vertibreaker, but was given stereo dropkicks by AJ Styles and Maven as the show ended.

(89, 83, 87)

Over: 79

After the show, Shane Goddard went back to his car, only to be met by Brian Gerwitz...

Gerwitz: "Hey, Shane? Listen, I've got to talk to you. Now, you know that tomorrow night's Raw is going to be in Providence, right?"

Shane: "I know- some friends of mine are already being booked for our international Heat..."

Gerwitz: "Anyway, we have an angle we want to run for this show. If you'd be willing to do a certain thing in a couple weeks, we'll be willing to make tomorrow's show something that you'll remember..." Gerwitz whispered something in Goddard's ear...

Shane: "Are you kidding? He's one of my best friends- I'll be happy to do that job!"

Gerwitz: "Excellent...we'll put it in the plans for tomorrow. And by the way, congratulations in advance..." Shane left for his car with a new spring in his step...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · January 26, 2005

wOw River Rave

As the River Rave started, the team of Vic Grimes and Adam Windsor (who the announcers sold as The Unlucky Ones) were in the ring. Just then, "Hava Nagila" hit as a sign appeared on the wOwTron:

"STALKER LOVES YOU"

as the World's Greatest Jobber Team headed to the ring for their match.

The Unlucky Ones (Adam Windsor/Vic Grimes) v. World's Greatest Jobber Team

WHEN COMEDIC JOBBER TEAMS COLLIDE~! This match was as you would expect from two comedic, somewhat thrown together teams: i.e. Horrible. The two teams didn't really mesh well for the most part, which was expectable considering the styles clash of both teams. Neither team were anything to write home about as far as taking an advantage, as it ended up a bland matchup for the most part. It almost seemed like a benefit when The Diamond Exchange rushed the ring and attacked both teams viciously. The Diamond Exchange stood triumphant as Veronica Diamond took the mic...

Diamond: "Now THIS is the perfect place to begin things. From the beginning to the end, tonight is going to be the night of Veronica Diamond! At the end of this night, NO ONE will forget we exist EVER again!"

Carter: "What could she be talking about, Grist?"

Gristleizer: "If I knew, I would have bet on this whole show!"

(19, 70, 44)

After the break, The Tokyo Sweethearts were in the ring holding the wOw Women's Tag Team Titles. Just then, they spoke some words in Japanese that could not be translated until two people headed down the ramps handing out Babel Fishes. Eventually when I got mine, I understood the translation as them demanding opponents. Just then, I saw Kari-Chan head down to the ring and take a mic...

Kari-Chan: "Myew! I heard you're looking for opponents to fight you for those titles, nyo! That's perfect, cause they'll look really really cool and kawaii and I want it want it want it, nyo! So I found myself the perfect tag partner to help me get them, and here she is, nyo!" Just then, Ofune came down to the ring and joined Kari-Chan as they attacked.

The Tokyo Sweethearts v. Ofune/Kari-Chan

Make it stop...MAKE IT STOP...This was horrible. This match didn't know what it was supposed to be. It was logical: Joshi tag team, Joshi worker...EYE CANDY...To make it worse, the Eye Candy was made the main worker in the match. Huge amounts of catgirl spankings, hair pulling, and other things like that made it an abysmal match to see. Eventually, Kari-Chan got a Tail Whip to get the victory and the titles, thankfully ruining my sanity.

(45, 49, 47)

After the match, I headed around backstage as Kari-Chan headed over to me...

Kari-Chan: "TOMMY-KUN! Didja see me, huh huh? I got this pretty title and it's cool and neat and stuff! Isn't it nice? Now you and I can have this gold to match in our perfect love-love story...*cuddles*" I kept getting glomped while walking throughout the whole of this and happened to see Jamie and Sharon going over their match...

Sharon: "Now...this will have to be the big one. We'll have to go all out. It's the blow-off match to the feud...*(sigh...now there's no reason...)*, so it needs to be something to remember. Are you ready for this?"

Jamie: "You know it, Sharon..."

Sharon: "...bleh..."

Jamie: "Let's get out there and kick some ass!" Jamie grabbed a large box filled with jerky as the match came out...

As the match began, Jamie Kogyaru came out with a box filled with jerky and took the mic...

Kogyaru: "Ladies and gentlemen, like, that bitch Sharon Goddard crossed the line last week. I, like, brought my cute little pussycat to show all you people, or some junk, and she killed it, ya know? That's why I had to do something, like, to punish them. The only, like, thing I could do was force the loser of tonight's match to, like, perform a forfeit, or some junk. I took the body of my pussycat and turned it into jerky, ya know? So tonight, like, the winner of this match will get the National Women's Title, and like, the loser's gonna eat Pussy right here in the ring, ya know?""

(National Women's- Loser Eats 'Pussy') Jamie Kogyaru v. Sharon Goddard

Well, we're up to the blow-off, and this is a surprisingly decent match (well, despite the insane stipulation they gave the match)...The two were involved in a styles clash, which was obvious from all the other Kogyaru/Goddard matches. The match was still a great women's match despite the whole of the clash, as they are wont to do as well. The two put on a decent show, putting on a number of nice spots (albeit the same as what they've done beforehand. Goddard went for the Reverse Goddard Driver, but Jamie Kogyaru reversed out of it, then hit a Panty Flash on Goddard while she was bent over for the three. After the match, Kogyaru held the Women's Title while Sharon Goddard was handed the box full of "pussy", which she proceeded to eat...

Kogyaru: "Like, this is your punishment! I got the title, while, like, you gotta eat the flesh of my pussy, or some junk?" Sharon Goddard ate from the box with a strangely satisfied smile as the show went to break...

(58, 68, 63)

After the match, Jamie and Sharon came back, where I was right there to congratulate them on a feud well-played...

Jamie: "Thanks so much, Tom! Just one question...who did you prefer in the match?"

You... <---

My sister...

Jamie: "Aww...you prefer me over your sister's work? You're so sweet, Tom...Thanks!" I left, as I saw Jamie continue looking towards me...

Jamie: "Whoa...I can't believe this. He's such a big fan of my work- I couldn't think something like one of wrestling's best workers could be a fan of mine...and he's...he's so cute too...*sigh*"

Meanwhile, in the ring, Sugar Man held the Cruiserweight Title and took the mic...

Sugar Man: "Whosmyopponent?Whosmyopponent!Inevergetbooked, IneedsomeonetofeelthezoomzoomtotheSugarRush!Fightmefightmefightme..." Just then, Alex Shelley headed down the ramp as we had a matchup (only to be met by Sugar Man starting with a huge Lou Thesz Press while yelling "HUG ME! HUG ME! HUG ME!"

(Cruiserweight) Sugar Man v. Alex Shelley

How the hell does Sugar Man keep having such good matches with workers who don't mesh with his style at all? I mean, the guy can't tell a wrist lock from a wristwatch, he can barely punch and kick, and his only real wrestling ability seems to be the willingness to do insane jumps and tricks in the air...and yet he keeps putting on excellent matches with anyone they put him against. This night's opponent happened to be Alex Shelley, who proved once more exactly why his stock has skyrocketed on the indy scene in recent months. The two put on a surprisingly good match despite the differing style, eventually leading to a mixture of sound technical wrestling and insane trampoline shit. Sugar Man got the victory again, which can't be a bad thing- hopefully, they're pushing him as a champion (wOw has this tendency to change champions too quickly for my tastes...)

(42, 83, 62)

After the break, The Nobodies headed to the ring and took the mic...

Joey Hamm: "Lo...tonight is a great night, brother Greg. For months upon end, we have been building our reputation, trying to prove ourselves as the best tag team in the world today, and just fighting until our goal was made. Now, look at the result: Every team in the world today is SO afraid of us that they can't even bear to get into the ring with us..."

Greg Burch: "This is a problem, my brother in arms. We may have worked for one goal, but we owe it to the fans to give them a fight here tonight. That is why I'm making an open challenge for our World Tag Team titles..." The two waited...only to have no takers.

Hamm: "What is the problem with this? I mean, come on...Eh, who cares..." Joey Hamm looked at two workers on the ring crew... "Ah...you two will do...I bet you want to wrestle, huh?"

Ring crew guy 1 (who my sources tell me is Roderick Strong): "Well, yeah..."

Ring crew guy 2 (who my sources tell me is Sedrick Strong): "I'm game..."

Burch: "Excellent...get in the ring and let's go for these people..." The two ring crew workers headed into the ring as we had a match!

The Nobodies v. The Strong Brothers

Wow...you know, people will think that wrestling's fixed if a federation's "ring crew" workers actually put on a good showing in the ring...Maybe the fed can blame it on The Nobodies being so good, but this is more of a dual-edged thing than anything- the Strong Brothers are a talented team and have been. Hopefully, this will lead to them getting more of a push (though I doubt it- I've heard rumors of Roderick Strong getting on the bad side of both Jocelyn Richter and Tom Goddard recently). The Nobodies got the big victory, as expected. After the match, the Nobodies kept attacking until one of the EMTs (who my sources told me was Nurse Lulu of OVW non-fame) came down to stop it from happening. Whatever...

(43, 85, 64)

After the match, I chanced to talk to Joey. I shot Greg a cold look as he walked back to the dressing room.

Hamm: "So, did you hear the news?"

"You mean that Heat thing? Yeah, Shane already called me to tell me they were, and Robbie asked to have me booked on the show- you know, put their best foot forward?"

Hamm: "No, no- I mean the bigger news: Greg told me before the match that he's worn NWATNA down- they're interested in giving me a contract offer. I go over to Nashville this Thursday to hammer out some details..."

"Oh...Greg gave you the details? I would be a little wary for this one..."

Hamm: "Come on, Tom! You've been talking about how happy you are in NWATNA- I want to get in on the place's bounty too. You can't be worried about your spot now, are you?"

"Not really, it's just..."

Hamm: "Then what? Look, this is a good opportunity for me to go for, and I'm going there Thursday. Trust me, it'll be good. You're happy, and Jayce's told me that the place is a dream to work for. I'll talk to you then..." I walked off for the next match. If Joey didn't want to hear of what his teammate was doing, so be it...

(Transcontinental) Homicide v. Brandon Downard

Before the match, Homicide took the mic...

"YO YO! I HOPE ALLA Y'ALL BITCHES IN PROVIDENCE LIKE THE SIGHT OF THIS, CAUSE IT'S STAYING UP IN MINNEAPOLIS, SURE AS I'M STREET, MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." Just then, Brandon Downard came to the ring and took the mic...

Downard: "Laugh while you can, Mr...Generic Lapdog for Court Bauer number 5...but tonight, we will give you a humiliation most severe, whether you win or fail..." The bell rang as the two tore into each other...

Match: Well, this crowd is DEAD...These two put on an awesome matchup, but for some reason, no one cared about it. I guess it might be because of furthering a feud between AWAMLW and wOw that is pushed more by AWAMLW than wOw, which always leads to a problem (wOw fans don't listen to AWAMLW claims that they're nothing, if they even BUY AWAMLW PPVs in the first place...) It's a shame, really, because Downard was able to dish out a nice beating to Homicide, who took it fairly well for the brunt of the match. Downard went for the Facade Breaker, but Homicide caught it and reversed it into a nice Hat Rack Crack from the top rope to leave Downard reeling, then went for the kill in the form of a Cop Killa, getting him the victory. After the match, Homicide celebrated, until Sherlock Homeless and the NYPD Jew came down to the ring...

NYPD Jew: "Now, I know this is a total pain to do, I mean, you just won a big match, mister...Homicide? Yeesh, my mother would never let me hear the end of it if I told her I had to bust you...she always said to never hang around with boys with names like Homicide...anyways, it seems that my associate and I, it seems we did a little research on you....oh, I could never talk like this...not here...could you tell them, Mr. Homeless?"

Sherlock: "Of course, Mister Jew...it seems that our friend, Mr. Homicide, while he acts all 'gangsta', may not be as 'street' as he claims. According to THIS birth certificate, it seems he was born to a rather well-to-do family in Shaker Heights, Ohio!" The crowd coughed (or scattered a laugh, I'm not sure which) as Homicide looked pissed...

Homicide: "THAT'S NOT TRUE! I'M STREET THROUGH AND THROUGH! THUG LIFE FOREVER!"

NYPD Jew: "I'm...I'm sorry, but that's...that's what our research dug up...it's not our fault...I mean, we're just the messengers and stuff...now, if you'll excuse me, we've got to go...Mr. Homeless?"

Homeless: "Sure thing, and one question, Mister Jew?"

NYPD Jew: "What...what is it?"

Homeless: "Got any more of that Manischewitz wine at home so's I can go get loaded?" NYPD Jew pulled out a bottle, which Sherlock Homeless took a swig from as Homicide looked pissed...

(29, 84, 56)

(International) Finale v. Teddy Hart

Well, we finally had a match the fans wanted to see, as Finale (one of the most underrated homegrown talents wOw's had) faced off with Teddy Hart. Surprisingly, Hart was willing to go 50/50 here with Finale, as his being a total dick had surely gotten towards people here. I shouldn't have been surprised- the line was that Teddy Hart's been surprisingly professional under wOw. The two put on a decent match, with Finale being stiff as hell and Hart taking it. Eventually, Hart got out and went for a Triple Bypass, only for Finale to kick out at two. Stunned, Teddy Hart was no match for Finale, who locked in the Ordinary Vanity on Hart- forcing him to pass out from the pain and give the win to the champion. Very good matchup...

(62, 83, 72)

After the match, I caught up with Teddy in back.

Teddy: "So, what's been going on? I regret to inform you that I myself have not been able to get any closer in my goal of screwing Vince McMahon yet..."

"Don't worry, don't worry. I knew you were having troubles, so I asked myself the best way to keep you going was to allow you access to someone who could help..."

Teddy: "A master ninja? A samurai? Who?"

"Well, I did the math. Vince screwed Bret. Shawn screwed Bret also. Earl screwed Bret a third time. We know this. None of them are available. I went further, and saw: Sunny screwed Bret, or to be more accurate, Bret screwed Sunny. Elmo also screwed Sunny, meaning he vicariously screwed Bret. Therefore, I give you...ELMO!"(I told you before- I get off on stuff like this. You HAD to know Elmo would come back into play...) I opened up a weird door that appeared next to me because this is a Reflecto diary and those things just happen to reveal Elmo inside...

Elmo: "ELMO LOVES YOU, TEDDY!" Elmo gave Teddy as big a hug as a muppet could as Teddy got a sour look on his face...

Teddy: "...I hate you..."

"Yeah, yeah..." Just then, I got a signal that the ring was finished, and made my way to the Gorilla position.

Elmo: "WAIT UP! ELMO AND TEDDY HART WERE GONNA GO CRUISE FOR SOME PUSSY- YOU WANT IN, TOMMY?"

Teddy: "Since WHEN was I going to go cruising with you? You're a Muppet!"

"Yeah...I have a match..."

Elmo: "BUT...BUT...ELMO NEEDS A WINGMAN TO GET HIM SOME OF THAT SHWEET..." I rushed to meet up with Harry as I heard Elmo lament his problem...

Harry Smith: "You ready?"

"Yep...let's rock."

After the break, a small scaffold was set up by the ring with two ladders above it. 57U then headed down to the ring carrying T3H K36, which was loaded up and put at the top of the scaffold.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Capture T3H B33R match. To win, the worker will have to scale the scaffold, drink from T3H K36, and throw his opponent off." After that explanation, the two competitors headed down to the ring flanked by their respective tag team partners and managers as the match began.

(WORLD- Capture T3H B33R) Tom Goddard v. Harry Smith

You know, it's almost heartwarming to see a worker grow up before your eyes. Tom Goddard might just be one of those workers. In the last few months, his skill has grown dramatically, going from being another, somewhat overrated "X-Style" worker to being arguably in that category of guys who can go out there and have a *** match with a broomstick. This is probably the most telling of that category: Just a month ago, the two had a very subpar matchup, where this one was actually pretty darned good. This says a lot of both workers' willingness to improve, which is a good thing for young guys like this: It could mean that Harry Smith will one day be one of those top workers, and Tom Goddard could viably do things no one thought possible before. The two did some nice work on the lower tier, but soon each made paths for the second level of the structure where T3H K36 lay. (Oh jeez, now they've got me talking l33t...) The two showed their youth and/or craziness by doing a surprising number of nice moves on top of the scaffold (as well as by doing a large number of spots on both sides turning Hurricanranas into Keg Stands...). Eventually, Tom Goddard managed to get a cup and drink normally from T3H K36, then hit a My Final Heaven on Harry Smith for the victory.

(80, 80, 79)

Goddard grabbed T3H K36 and took another drink from it before heading downwards. When he got down, Steve Evans were there to celebrate with him, taking him back to the ring. Steve Evans took the mic...

Evans: "Now, THIS is a big victory for my old buddy here. Tom Goddard has just completely, utterly defeated Harry Smith to prove once more that he is the true crown jewel of whacked Out wrestling!" The fans cheered as Evans raised Goddard's arm.

Goddard: "Thanks, bud..." Evans started to pat Goddard on the back...

Evans: "Yes, there really is no one who can deny it. Tommy Boy has the biggest prize in New England on his waist, he has the hottest girl in wOw by his side- he is truly the fair-haired boy of whacked Out wrestling!" The crowd cheered as Evans continued, patting harder...

Goddard: "You know it..." Evans seemed to continue more often as he continued.

Evans: "When you add that to his history...I mean, you go to AWAMLW, and he's their number one contender! When you go down to NWATNA, he's the captain of the America's X-Cup Champions...and in both cases, I only got cups of coffee for them..." The crowd cheered a little less from the last point...

Goddard: "I see..."

Evans: "But that doesn't matter! We're here to celebrate my Best Friend in the whole world, Tom Goddard- the person who's proven time and time again that he is easily the second coming of Shawn Michaels!" The crowd cheered... "...which, apparently makes me the second coming of Marty Jannetty..." The crowd had a mixed reaction as Evans continued...

Evans: "Well, I WANT NONE OF THAT!" Evans wound up and began chopping Goddard's chest! "Where were you for these things? We were supposed to be on equal ground here, but you were Robbie's fair-haired boy, YOU got all the breaks while I got left by the wayside! We were supposed to be on equal ground, but I was left as another of the 'prospects' while you went into the stratosphere! Do you know what it's like to have people think you're nothing because you're not amazing from the beginning? I wrestle for wOw all during your injury, I keep the matches going as you recuperate, but once you get back here, you're the one who gets the title! Where's my fair share? I deserve to be on the same level as you, and if it means I have to go through you, SO BE IT!" Evans attacked Goddard to the corner, then hit a Top-Rope Tiger Driver on him as Veronica Diamond looked on, smiling. Evans was showered with boos as the show ended...

(71)

Over: 65

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · January 28, 2005

The next night, I was totally pumped for this one. I could understand why: Monday Night Raw- the grandaddy of them all, in the Dunkin' Donuts Center- the hometown crowd. And I was going to be working Heat for them- tonight's Sin would be going to the European markets. As if this wasn't enough to pump me up, I knew of the luck this could bring- I knew my brother was signed following a great tryout match the last time they were here, so this was just too exciting for words. I happened to see my now former tag team partner (it seems somewhat weird saying that), and managed to talk to him...

Steve: "So, did you like the angle we planned out?"

"I think it's going to rock- we always bring the l33t in our matches, bro!"

Steve: "Yeah. Robbie wanted to push me to the main event scene, but couldn't do so as your teammate. He put one of the staff writers on the angle for a little bit- hell, he only told me that they were going with this Saturday. I'm loving the potential here- you versus me in a main event feud looks promising as all hell, ya know?"

"I know...I wasn't feeling the feud with Harry for most of it- our styles are just too different, you know?"

Steve: "I hear that. So, you ready for your match? They say you'll be in the Heat main event..."

"SWEET..."

Steve: "Too sweet." I headed off and hit the Gorilla position, just waiting for the show to start- only to be approached by Shane...

Shane: "WELL, WELL, WELL! Ickle Tommy's going to get his first shot in the big leagues! How does it feel?"

"Come on- we know we're jobber fodder, it's nothing big. Everyone knows- you're not WWE until the day you get your first victory..."

Shane: "Well, just tear the match up- then you'll be signed for sure. Come on, you're one of the best in the world, I'm sure you'll have no problems getting a WWE contract!"

"Thanks, Shane..."

Shane: "No problem, little bro. Now, remember: You're buying tonight's rounds after this ends, you little two-federation superstar, you!" Great... I headed off and started to watch the show...

WWE Raw Report:

Hey, I just got back from the WWE Raw in Providence. This one was really awesome, as in addition to its usual show, I heard WWE had made a deal with area fed whacked Out wrestling to merge the dark matches and Heat with the wOw Sin tapings this Monday. I decided to get there as quickly as possible due to this, so here's the report...

Dark Matches:

(National Women's) Jamie Kogyaru v. Barbara Vixen, April Hunter, Sharmell Sullivan

This is supposedly going to be awesome- I've heard people say wOw has an amazing women's division. I believe it- I already recognized Sharmell Sullivan and April Hunter from their prior work in Big 2 feds, I've heard good things about Barbara Vixen's work, and am always blown away by Jamie Kogyaru's ability. This match was proof of those things in spades: The four actually put on a surprisingly decent (well, by women's standards, anyways) four-way women's matchup. I was surprised they went this route for a dark match, but since it's being taped for wOw TV, I guess there's a reason for it. Each of the four got a lot of offense in (and looked fairly good doing it), but the wOw touch was there at the end, as Jamie Kogyaru managed to hit her Japanese Schoolgirl Pin (a move that needs to be seen to be believed) to get the victory. After the match, I was shocked just by how into it the crowd was- for a dark match, the crowd was at the ends of their seats...

(55, 59, 57)

After the match, I kept watching. I saw the four come back to some applause from the crowd backstage. I saw Sharon head over to Jamie and shake her hand following the match, which seemed to be fairly classy. Just then, I saw some of the road agents approach all four of them before I had a chance to tell Jamie what I thought, which seemed cool...anytime another of the people I know has a chance to make it is a good thing, I guess...

Matt Martel v. Michael Darkstar

This match seemed surprising: I hadn't seen Michael Darkstar in Rhode Island rings in a good 5 years, and I was honestly surprised they were bringing Matt Martel up to dark matches this early. The match...how can I say it, was DEAD. Totally dead. Like, I could hear conversations across the arena, sell-out at the concession stands, people leaving this early into the show dead. The two didn't electrify the fans with great work, as Martel proved why he's still got at least 2-3 years before he'll be even close to being WWE-worthy and Darkstar proving why it probably wasn't a coincidence that wOw started gaining steam when he left the federation to make a name on the East Coast scene. There was basically no saving grace in this match, to the point when it was a pleasure when Martel hit the Happy Monkey on Darkstar to end the matchup. Horrible, horrible matchup.

(0, 69, 34)

After this match, I waited to continue watching. I saw the two head through the back solemnly. Jamie headed over to me and looked somewhat excited, but I couldn't hear much of it over the road agents screaming at Matt Martel to shape up or ship out. From the looks of things (and the excitement on Barbara, April, and Sharmell's faces), the gist was clear: She was offered a WWE contract.

"That's great! This is the big time- you've finally made it!"

Jamie: "I know, but I'm still not sure if I want to...I mean, this is a big step for anyone. I'm getting a great push in AWAMLW, and I don't really want to leave them this abruptly. On top of that, I really don't want to leave wOw just yet..."

"Let me guess...some special guy?" Jamie started blushing...

Jamie: "Well, that is...you see...I don't..."

"Oh, I get it. Well, you should do what your heart tells you. You're talented and beautiful; there's no WAY the WWE won't keep you on file if you reject their contract today."

Jamie: "You know, you're right! I will say 'Thanks, but no thanks'! You're the best, Tom!" Jamie kissed me on the cheek as she walked off. I decided to keep watching the show as it continued...

Brandon Robinson v. John Roche

Well, this last dark match made it all worthwhile. If the last match was nothing, this really brought it back. Brandon Robinson proved that he's more than ready for the big time, and John Roche was no slouch as well in his own right. The two put on a hell of a performance, meshing fairly well for a dark match. The two went almost power move for power move, really letting the fans get into it as far as this went through. Robinson got the pin following an Ice Breaker, which was expectable and fine. Keep a watch on this guy, I'd dare say he's the next big thing in the WWE.

(44, 80, 62)

After the match, the back cheered a bit following the dark match. I saw road agents go up to both of them. As I went back to where I was watching, I saw John head over to me...

John: "YES! YES YES YES YES YES! I just got the call- the WWE's offering me a developmental deal!"

"That's awesome, man! Are you taking it?"

John: "Are you kidding? When the WWE calls, you GOTTA accept the charges! I just wish Jared could have been here to see this...where is he, anyway?"

Meanwhile, in Cincinnati...

Hawk: "NOW I'VE GOT YOU!" <<FIGHT/ITEM/RUN: ITEM: BAZOOKA>> Just then, Hawk pulled out a Bazooka and aimed it at our heroes.

MICKIE: "I'll stop him, yeppers!" <<FIGHT/ITEM/RUN: FIGHT>> Just then, MICKIE-KNUCKLES proceeded to attack Hawk viciously, doing some minor damage to him.

Jared: <<FIGHT/MAGIC/ITEM/RUN: MAGIC: WATER>> Just then, Jared managed to conjure a small puddle around Hawk, which did almost nothing to him.

Missy: "Darn it...you need someone who can hurt him! <<FIGHT/MAGIC/ITEM/RUN: MAGIC: FIRE>> Missy proceeded to shoot fireballs at Hawk, which disoriented him...but not enough to stop him from firing the Bazooka. The targets screamed...until Vance Nevada looked at the shell, which fell to the ground a dud. Vance picked it up and threw it, causing it to explode in Hawk's face (giving him a blackened body and a duck bill on the other side of his head) as the four ran away!

Hawk: "You're despicable..."

"No idea where he is, man..."

John: "That sucks. Eh, he'll probably see me on TV soon enough- I mean, they said they're working on the angle to bring Brandon to TV due to this one- I doubt they'll keep me in development too long for this! See ya when you get there, man!" After that, I heard the loud sounds of the Heat pyro come through as the International show started.

WWE International Heat matches/wOw Flagship matches

Chavo Classic v. Monty Brown

Before the match, Chavo Classic took a mic...

Chavo Classic: "Hey, mang, whatchu trying to do up here, yo? I done nothin' to you here, and you wanna fight me? But tonight, I gon' give you such a deal, yo...you just walk back up that ramp, and I give you some of the finest Coke Classic that there is, yo! Good deal, mang, what you say?"

Monty Brown thought about it...then hit a huge POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on Chavo Classic to start the match.

Match: Well, this was subpar. Chavo Classic is just too past-his-prime to be able to work in a major fed as a wrestler, and Monty Brown is too garden variety to carry Chavo to a good match despite this. The two, as a result, sucked a dick. There was no skill to be seen in this opener, as it quickly degenerated into a squash match for Chavo Classic. Once Chavo Classic got the quick top-rope assisted Cross Powerbomb (which the announcers sold as the Coke Classic Razor's Edge), it couldn't have come soon enough. All in all, a Bad, bad match.

(36, 60, 48)

Orlando Jordan d. Prodigy wOw

Before the match, Orlando Jordan did some posing, throwing a basketball into a young woman's arms...which was the only crowd reaction he could get all match. This match was atrocious, making the prior match look almost good. I don't know where I heard that this Prodigy guy had talent, but he looked like another vanilla hoss in this match...which means that Vince McMahon will likely sign him and push him to the moon here. The match ended up as another poor squash, with Orlando Jordan using a number of bland moves for this one. When he finally put Prodigy away with a Slam Dunk, I was cheering just the end of this damn thing. Poor, poor match- not one of the best of either worker.

(32, 59, 45)

Nicholas Dinsmore v. Joey Hamm

And after two poor matches, we get excellence. THIS is what a good matchup should look like. I had heard Benoit comparisons about Nicholas Dinsmore, and I've been a fan of Joey Hamm's work, but this was just awesome when they came together. The two put on a dazzling technical showcase that nearly got the crowd back into the show following the last two matches, making it look like something special. This was the one squash match I didn't want to see end. Surprisingly, the WWE went through to make it look important, as Miss Jackie distracted Joey Hamm on the outside, allowing Dinsmore to get a German Suplex on him for the big victory. Awesome stuff, and I'm hoping to see more of them...

(54, 91, 72)

After that match, I saw the workers from both the WWE side and wOw sides cheering their respective guys. Nicholas and Joey shook hands as they headed through to their crowd, only to have Joey approached by some road agents before he could get far. I saw them take Joey into a room as I continued waiting through the show...

Rene Dupree v. Kangor

Before the show came back from break, Kangor took a mic...

"GROWL FUCK FUCK RENE FUCKING DUPREE YOU FUCKING FRENCH FUCKER I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU'RE FUCKING WWE, I'LL STILL FUCKING EAT THEN FUCKING FUCK YOU THEN FUCKING KILL YOUR FUCKING WORTHLESS FUCKING BODY AND THEN FUCKING FUCK THE FUCKING CORPSE'S FUCKING BODY AND FUCKING DROP IT IN THE FUCKING PROVIDENCE FUCKING BAY! GROWL!"

Meanwhile, backstage...

Road agent: "Yeesh...consider HIM off our list of possible prospects..."

Rhyno: "Why? He FUCKING seems like he's got some FUCKING charisma! GROWL!"

Match: Well, this seemed somewhat decent...considering what's occurred on Heat so far. Dupree's become mostly harmless in the ring, and I had heard both favorable and unfavorable comparisons to Rhyno about this Kangor guy, so I expected something good. Well, it was good in comparison, but it was still a poor match considering actual matches. Despite that, the two put on a decent show in the ring, making it seem better than it was. Dupree allowed Kangor a surprising amount of offense, meaning we had to deal with him doing his best Rhyno impersonation for a little bit. Just as Kangor had him lined up for another "No, of course a jobber isn't doing the Gore, we swear!", Rene Dupree went to his knees and begged to surrender...only to hit Kangor with a Low Blow, then follow it up with an Exploder Suplex for the victory. Not TOO too bad...

(52, 69, 60)

After that match, Joey headed over to me...

Joey: "Dude...I...I don't believe it."

"What? You were offered a development deal?"

Joey: "Brace yourself, Tom...they offered me TV."

"You serious?"

Joey: "Yeah. They said that based on how good my match tonight was, they're willing to send me straight to the active roster if I sign with the WWE. I'm still shocked."

"I take it you're signing here, aren't you?"

Joey: "Well, I'm still not sure if I'll be used correctly. I heard TNA wanted to reform the Nobodies, give us a push, so I'm still going to their taping. I told them I needed a little time to think it over- weigh my options out and see what the best thing for me was, you know?"

"Good idea, man. So, I take it I'm driving you to Nashville?"

Joey: "You know it, buddy!" I heard the generic theme music just then, and headed out while the break was going on (to a surprisingly loud amount of pops by the fans) as I headed out and waited for my opponent. While waiting, I heard the callout: "WE ARE TWO...BAD...MF'ERS!" as Christian York came down to the ring with Alexis Laree for my matchup...

Christian York v. Tom Goddard

Well, the crowd was totally rocking for this matchup. I was surprised that they agreed to use Tom Goddard for this one and bill him as such to the fans here (at least during the break)- I thought the fact he was the brother of a WWE worker would have made him anathema to being used as a jobber. As far as the match goes...VERY good. This could have gone on Raw and not have been a problem for the most part. The two meshed fairly well, and put on a decent WWE-style cruiserweight matchup for the fans. Goddard took an advantage, and went up to the top rope, only to have Alexis Laree hit his crotch and send him crashing into the canvas. Once there, Laree hit a Moonsault on Goddard, followed by Christian York hitting a Swanton Bomb on Goddard to get the victory. Not a bad match, and hopefully one we'll see a rematch of very soon in WWE rings...

(71, 83, 77)

After the match, we went and saw people congratulate us. I was surprised- I thought I had done better matches. I made my way over to Shane, only to be met by some road agents. I tried to contain my glee as they headed over to me and sent me to a room...

Road agent: "Great match out there, Mr. Goddard. Now, I think you know why we're here. We're looking for new people to put on the brands, and I think your match might make you the perfect person to add to either roster. With the match we saw, we were willing to give you a development deal, but judging from the fan reaction, we're willing to promote you to television if you'll sign with the WWE today. So our question remains: Will you sign for us?" The road agent passed me a contract, which I looked over. I thought about all the things I had done to get to this point: All the training, all the time working New England federations, the time in wOw, my work in the AWA and NWA...then my mind wandered to the NWA...to Jocelyn...when I went through all these things, my answer was clear.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm legally obligated to reject your offer at this moment. You see, I'm under a contract with NWA:TNA that requires me to say no to any offer I receive from the WWE for 24 months. Due to this, I would like to ask that you hold off on this offer for 23 months, after which my no-compete clause ends and I would be free to accept offers. If you're willing to check your investment, I would be happy to send my brother tapes of my progress in various other federations, and I know that by the time it ends, you'd likely go from getting a decent lower-carder to someone who you could build around in the WWE."

Road agent: "I see your situation. Very well then. We're sorry about that. We will keep you on file in case something happens..." I left the room questioning my decision slightly. I had just refused a WWE contract, something I had never thought could occur. My only question- would this come back to haunt me?

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · January 30, 2005

WWE Raw matches:

As Raw began, Evolution headed to the ring in full-force. Triple H took the mic...

"Last night-uh, I proved once more-uh that I AM the most dominant-uh force-uh in wrestling today! You name the person, and I've-uh beaten them 1, 2, 3! I beat Austin, Rock, Foley, Nash, Michaels, Goldberg, Benoit, and last-uh night, I defeated a sup-uhhero! In all of these things, I've-uh proven that I AM THAT-UH DAMN GOOD..." Just then, The Hurricane headed out to the ring and took a mic...

Hurricane: "Citizen Helmsley! You say that you've proven you're the best in the business today, but my KEEN Super-memory shows something different...Roll the footage!" The Hurricane went to the camera, showing Shawn Michaels's interference leading to the DQ for The Hurricane. "Now, as all these fans can see, I CLEARLY won the match, albeit by disqualification. But the more important thing there is this: Since I WON that match, it can be followed that you LOST that match, and that means that you DIDN'T Beat me like you're saying you did!"

Triple H: "Oh, big whoop-uh! You won-uh a match-uh against me by DQ-uh! Do you want-uh cookie or something? The fact-uh remains, I STILL hold-uh the title! You lost-uh your chance-uh to win it back, so just go back to jobbing like a good little superhero...look, we've got your little cape, and your little mask..."

Hurricane: "And my little Title, You heinous villain!" The two argued a bit, until Eric Bischoff came down to the ring.

Bischoff: "Fellas, fellas, fellas. Now, I did check through this stuff, and I'm sorry, Triple H, but The Hurricane has a legitimate claim to another title match. He did beat you, even if it was by DQ, so if he wants a shot, he can get it. HOWEVER...that does NOT mean that he gets it immediately. You see, in the interest of fairness, RIGHT HERE, in Providence, Rhode Island, we're going to see Triple H and the partner of HIS choosing..."

Triple H: "...If I get to choose-uh, I want to dominate him...Batista! YOU will watch my back in this match-uh!"

Batista: "You got it, boss..."

Bischoff: "...face off with The Hurricane and the partner of HIS choosing. If The Hurricane wins, then NEXT WEEK on Eric Bischoff's Monday Night Raw, The Hurricane will get to face off with Triple H for the World Heavyweight Title in a NO-DISQUALIFICATION match!" Just then, the Evolution members laughed...

Triple H: "Are you kidding, Eric? The last time he tried that, he was screwed by my boy Shawn here! Who in the hell could that little punk get as his teammate this time?"

The Hurricane: "Oh, another Superhero...my own personal one, if you will..." Just then, The Hurricane pointed upwards as a funk theme hit. Just then, Mark Henry came down the ramp in a blue-and-red striped pajama set and posed.

Henry: "Ah, my little Viking! These punks in Evolution may THINK they're the dominant force on Raw, but they'll soon prove NO match for Raw's premiere superhero, The Hurricane, and me: Mark Henry, THE STRONGEST MAN! In the WORLD!" (73)

Kyo Dai v. Darkness's Children

Well, the opener was pretty poor. I'm surprised the WWE hasn't cut their losses on Bane and Seven, realized them as small-time, and cut them loose accordingly. To be fair, this match was good, but the crowd just was not into it. This was a surprise- the crowd was hot enough to even be into Heat and Dark matches, but not this one. The two teams did try their best, to give them some credit. However, it was obvious fans weren't buying what they were selling. I guess it was one of those nights, to say the least. Kyo Dai got the victory here, but both teams seemed to lose for this one.

(43, 80, 54)

Bradley Richter v. Steven Richards

Do my eyes deceive me? Did Steven Richards get a match on Raw? This was a pleasant surprise for the whole of this, moreso since he and Bradley Richter meshed fairly well for themselves. Richards and Richter's styles were so old-school and almost basic, it was hard for them to not put on a decent, blandtacular match, and the results were according of it. Despite how it was, the fans seemed to be into it due to Bradley Richter being a hometown boy, which also played a role in the ending, as Richter got Steven Richards with a nice Samoan Drop to get the victory. Pretty standard...

(54, 79, 59)

Rodney Mack v. Val Venis

And the "randomly thrown together matches" continue. This one was fairly predictable: Rodney Mack just turned, Val Venis is flailing, Mack wins. At the very least, the match was really good, as the two meshed really well for a very nice brawl between the two. I was interested in seeing more of it, and hopefully these two will work again- any time a Rodney Mack match is interesting is a good thing. Mack got the victory following some interference by Jazz for the random "they're married IRL, so let's push them as a unit!" reasoning, or something...who am I to say? Eh, it was good, that's good enough for me...

(61, 82, 63)

Shannon Moore v Tito Ortiz

Before the match, Shannon Moore took a mic...

Moore: "Ladies and gentlemen, I come here to protest a grave injustice. I just heard that they plan to put ME, Raw's CUTEST Diva, in the ring with some...some UFC-fighting brute in Tito Ortiz! I mean, this is just unfair to me, and unfair to all of my admirers. Do they even know what could happen? I mean, I could get bruised, I could get beaten, my beautiful face could be spoiled...this is just wrong! Well, I won't stand for it! Tito, I IMPLORE you to say no to this match for the good of the fans!" Tito Ortiz thought about it- then attacked him viciously as it started.

Match: STYLES CLASH. There's no better way to say it. Sure, it's a GOOD styles clash, but the two just did not mesh at all. The two tried to put on something, but Moore's high flying and Ortiz's MMA-brawling just didn't take. The crowd was into it, however, as they're really beginning to want to see Moore get clobbered in the ring- always a good thing. The ending made some sense as a result, as Ortiz kept destroying Shannon Moore, only for Biomonster HOSS to come in and attack Ortiz with his Hot Glue Gun, allowing Moore to hit a Mooregasm for the big victory. A bit off, but the crowd liked it...

(lost match results)

After the break, Diamond and Swinger were in the ring and took the mic...

Diamond: "SIMON'S GOT A PROBLEM! You see, when me and my partner signed with the WWE, we came here because we wanted the best competition in the world. So far, it seems like the teams here are lacking in that aspect. We've beaten every team put against us, and they STILL expect us to be ready to fight? We could beat any of these teams on our worst day and their best! So that's why, we want a challenge from anyone...well, willing to get beaten down here in front of these fans..." Just then, Shane Goddard's entrance started up as the fans gave a surprisingly huge pop for him!

Goddard: "Come on- you people keep running your mouth about how you're the best, and you may have a point there. The only problem, though, is that you're not the best until you're what all the people come to see, and you know, I KIND OF have a little inkling exactly who all of these people here in Rhode Island came to see tonight..." The crowd continued cheering as it continued. "They don't want to see you punks with the title, they want it in the hands of a...SUPERSTAR!" The crowd chanted the catchline as Goddard continued. "So if you want a battle, me and my bodyguard are right here waiting for one!" The two ran into the ring as the bell rang.

(World Tag) Diamond and Swinger v. Goddard and Blackman

Well, the crowd was surprisingly hot for this match, and the match melded well to boot. I was surprised that they were hot for a heel/heel match, but seeing how Shane Goddard's apparently more over than Jesus in this city, there seems to be a reason why...The two teams began to mesh fairly well for each other as the show kept going on. Diamond and Swinger took the advantage, as Steve Blackman was left to play the "face" in peril (to the crowd's somewhat indifference). The crowd kept watching as Diamond and Swinger kept double-teaming Blackman. Dawn Marie got the referee's attention as the two started using lethal weapons on the "Lethal Weapon", keeping the attack going. Just as Johnny Swinger was about to hit the Swing Thing, Steve Blackman got a Pump Kick out of nowhere before going down. Blackman crawled to his corner, finally tagging in Shane Goddard, who was a HOUSE EN FUEGO~!, attacking both Diamond and Swinger viciously. Simon Diamond got a tag in from Johnny Swinger eventually, but that only led to him being fresh enough for a Show-Stealer. That drew the three as the arena ERUPTED! Goddard and Blackman shook hands in the ring as they clutched their new titles before Shane Goddard left through the crowd, only to be swarmed by fans.

(64, 90, 69)

After I saw Shane reenter the locker room, I made a beeline over to Shane to try to be the first to congratulate him on his big victory.

"Dude- why didn't you TELL ME you were going to win a title tonight?"

Shane: "I wanted it to be a complete surprise, little bro! So, what do you think? Your brother's finally a WWE champion..."

"It's awesome, man. Couldn't have happened to someone more deserving..."

Shane: "I'll get the stuff ready- I've got a few things to do. You're still watching the rest of the show, right?"

"You know it..."

Shane: "Okay. Meet me at the back when the show ends, all right?" Shane walked over to be swarmed by the other wOw workers as I continued watching...

AJ Styles v. Joey Matthews

Whoa. This is disappointing. You get two of this year's hottest indy workers in the same ring together, and it ends up being a poor matchup by both's standards. The two didn't seem to be into it as much as usual- apparently this being "one of those nights" really led to problems for this. The two seemed to go through the motions for the whole of the show, and yet somehow doing better than most people could think of doing in the ring. The ending was predictable as well: Christian York and Alexis Laree tried to interfere on Joey Matthews's behalf, they're sent back by the referee, only to have Shawn Michaels run in, Sweet Chin Music, wham, Styles Clash, Evolution goes over. Pretty blah...

(78, 79, 70)

Maven v. John Cena

Well, this was pretty straightforward. When they're in-house trainees, you kind of know what type of match to expect from the WWE, and this was no exception: i.e. Dull as dishwater. The two meshed well, but it was still just a blandtacular matchup for the most part: Basic moves, a lot of punch-kick offense, and generally nothing to write home about. Maven took an advantage on John Cena early, getting a number of DROPKICKS OF IMMENSE DISCOMFORT~! in on him to take the match into his hands. John Cena fought back, and used more punch-kick offense to continue his fairly straightforward fighting. John Cena went for the F-U, but Maven got out of it and got another DROPKICK OF DOOM~! on Cena to get the win. Bland...

(72, 73, 64)

The Hurricane and Mark Henry, the STRONGEST MAN! in the WORLD! v. HHH and Batista

Why is the crowd so into this match? Don't they know that Mark Henry is in it? Granted, the new gimmick seems fairly weird [translation: It's probably a good idea they picked Providence, the reigning epicenter of weird gimmicks getting over to debut it], but it's Mark Henry! The two teams actually managed to mesh fairly well, which surprised me: I mean, it's got two somewhat decent workers (HHH, Hurricane) and two worthless workers (Henry, Batista.) Each of them put on a decent match: Henry and Batista doing the hossy stuff, while HHH and Hurricane actually put on a show. Triple H took the advantage and went for a Pedigree on The Hurricane, only to be stopped by Mark Henry locking a Bearhug in on Triple H until The Hurricane could reverse it into a Hurricanrana. Batista tried to counter the move, only to be met with a Bearhug of his own by Henry. The Hurricane then proceeded to hit a SHINING WIZARD~! on HHH, getting a pin on him to get the victory. After the match, The Hurricane and Henry posed for the crowd- only to be beat down by Evolution as Raw ended.

(80, 79, 71)

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · January 30, 2005

From the Journal of Alex Shelley:

Dear Journal:

I've been having some strange feelings lately, and I'm not sure what's going on. I know it's not my powers acting up this time, it seems to be one of those more...normal things that humans are supposed to feel. I'm surprised, but there's this one girl I work with who I've begun to feel all squishy inside about when I see her. I know I've seen this feeling before in others, but I never imagined it would feel this good to feel it. The only problem is, how can I find out what to do in order to get past this level? The only friends I know feeling it right now are so whiny that they can't manage to just tell the girl that he loves her, because he's a total pussy...but I digress... I tried to talk to my little sister about this- maybe she'll know the answer. She's old enough to be interested in boys by now...

Black: "ONIIIIIIIIIICHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN! What's your problem?"

Alex: "Well, you see, there's this problem I've been having. You see, there's this girl I'm working with..."

Black: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! You want to let some meany other girl into your life? You're a psychic, you can't have real girls! Nope, it's better that you and I marry and live happily ever after, Onichan..."

Alex: "I...see...but...you're my sister..."

Black: "Not by blood, onichan!"

Alex: "Touche...but I wanna have help with my problem!"

Black: "NO! I won't let you! I'll take out my cutty-thing and hurt you..." I could tell that this was not going well. I decided to talk to one of my old buddies from my ROH days, Austin Aries. He seems like he'd be more likely to know...

Austin: "Alex! What's been going on? I haven't seen you since I signed on with ACW. How've you been doing on the big squad..."

Alex: "Well, I've been living...oh, this is my little sister, Raven..." Just then, I saw Austin get a dreamy look in his eyes...oh no, not this...

Austin: "Will you...bear my child?"

Black: "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Alex: "KEEP YOUR FILTHY MITTS OFF MY SISTER!" I proceeded to hit him with a huge Uppercut as my sister sent him flying into the stratosphere. I guess I don't have much choice- I'm heading to the XPlosion show. Maybe there I'll get some answers...at least, I'll get to see her again...

NWATNA XPlosion:

When I got to the show, I was approached by Alex.

Alex: "Say, listen, Tom- I was wondering. They said me and Jimmy are going over tonight in our match with a pin on Jayce- would you mind terribly if I pinned you in the matchup? It'll really make me look good..."

"OOOOHHHHH...Alex wants to look good for somebody...Alex and...Girl, sitting in a tree...K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

Alex: "Oh look, there's the announcers' booth...it would be SUCH a shame if a certain color commentator happened to get some thoughts inside her head during the match. You know, say finding out a certain Adam Ant-wannabe's feelings for her?"

"You bastard...okay, I'm down with it." I headed out to the ring for the matchup...

The Peacemakers v. Tom Goddard and Jayce Simmons

The announcers started calling the Goddard/Simmons team "Bad Luck", so I assume they're trying to build that as the team name. It seemed somewhat telling, as that's exactly what they had during this matchup. Goddard and Simmons really bumped like pinballs in an attempt to make them look good- of course, in this match it was no problem whatsoever. Bad Luck then took the advantage, and began punishing The Barbaric Berzerker in the matchup. Jayce Simmons managed to hit a Missile Dropkick to Kid Psycho, sending him to the outside. Goddard hit a Glitter Mist on The Barbaric Berzerker, then signalled for the My Final Heaven...only to have 3 Live Kru come down the ramp and distract him. While distracted, The Barbaric Berzerker tagged out to Kid Psycho, who proceeded to hit Goddard with a Springboard Dropkick, getting him the pin. After the match, the Peacemakers celebrated before Tom Goddard took the mic...

Goddard: "Oh, you pitiful, pitiful 3 Live Kru members. Rejoice in your sport tonight. However, you truly don't have the skills to oppose us in that ring. If you do, I challenge you to put 4 X-Division workers against us in a battle this Sunday for our America's X-Cup. If we lose, we will slink back to our homes and not bother with you...baser people. If we win, however, you two must give us a shot at YOUR Tag Team titles the next week!" Konnan then took the mic...

Konnan: "You got it!" Ron Killings then looked at him...

Killings: "Are you kidding, K-Dawg? We ain't got no X-Division guys!"

Konnan: "Oh, don't worry, man- I'll think of something..."

(55, 85, 70)

CarWreck v. Murder One

YEE GODS, this was a bad match. You know, I haven't seen how CarWreck gets so over in NWATNA. He's not that much better than most of the other wOw workers, isn't that flashy a worker, and is only decent in charisma. Put those together, and I have to wonder how the hell he's gotten pushed so much while they let go workers like Steve Evans and put Tom Goddard much further down the card than he should be. This matchup was hideous, as Murder One proved why he didn't belong in NWATNA as of yet. The two didn't mesh, didn't work well, and the whole thing was just a poor matchup as a whole. CarWreck got the victory, which was the best thing for all involved- at least we could have hope Murder One won't stick around much longer...

(43, 67, 55)

After the match, I managed to catch up to Joey.

"So, how are you enjoying the show so far?"

Joey: "Not bad- I'm surprised you agreed to job to Alex, but it's a pretty good show."

"So, which one are you leaning to?"

Joey: "Still not sure. Hey, I'm going to go find Greg, that okay with you?"

"Um...yeah..." I headed off, hoping he wouldn't find out anything...

Five Star Attraction v. Hollywood Inc.

Well, this was okay, to say the least. On the plus side, Ray Gordy and Caprice Coleman are really beginning to gel as a tag team, which can only be a good thing (though their manager seems to be the type of person who you just wish gets thrown into the ring with New Jack and Bob Sapp so they can tear him to pieces...) Hollywood Inc. proved once more why they're not ready for the big time, as Lee Handsome proceeded to keep working so poorly that a child could school him inside the ring. At the very least, he made Five Star Attraction look pretty good, which is always a plus. After a number of double-teams by the Five Stars (and a number of moves so bad by Handsome they almost exposed the business), Handsome got the HOT TAG~! to Joey Idol. This led to some better matches, as Idol was much more able to put on a good show with the team. Idol took the advantage and attacked viciously, managing to get a Kaostrify on Caprice Coleman, then pinned him...only to stop the count at two and walk out of the ring, taking a mic...

Idol: "I just showed you all how good I am! I'm the rightful X-Tag Champion, not those guys!" The referee, however, counted Idol out, giving the win to Five Star Attraction. After the match, Kriss Sprules took the mic...

Sprules: "This is an excellent victory! We have proven once more that my men can take on any challenger and come out victorious, as they are truly the alpha and omega of wrestling today!"

On-screen text: "THEY GOT LUCKY..."

(50, 83, 66)

Meanwhile, backstage...

Burch: "But I'm telling you, Bobby, it was an off-night! I still deserve the push I'm getting- everyone can fail..."

Ryder: "Match not good...single push for Cabana or Hamrick? Those boys good in ring..."

Burch: "Aww, but Bobby...I really want to keep my push- I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'll do ANYTHING to keep it, if you get my drift..." Ryder smiled as Burch went over to kiss him...just as Joey Hamm walked into the room...

Burch: "Jo...Joey! What the...how much of this did you see?"

Hamm: "Enough to make my decision on where I'm going...Goodbye, PARTNER..." Joey Hamm left the room as Greg Burch tried to run after him, only to be grabbed by Bob Ryder...

[CENSORED: Special guest: Lori Angel:

Angel: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Yaoi yaoi yaoi...BLOODY 'ELL! WHO PUT BOB RYDER IN THERE?"]

Ron Killings v. Vampiro

WOW. Now this was a world-class matchup for the two. I still am uncertain why Vampiro hasn't taken off in a US fed on a huge level- he's usually good for awesome matches. On this night against Ron Killings, the two were just amazing together. The crowd actually managed to get into the matchup immensely, as the two put on a clinic. Even an attack by Tom Goddard on Ron Killings couldn't stop the flow of the match, as the two were just stupendous in this match. Ron Killings managed to get the victory in this match, but hopefully this will lead to more opportunities for Vampiro, especially in the way of matches in TNA...

(77, 95, 86)

After that match, I saw Joey storm out in a rage. I tried to go over to see what's wrong.

"Dude-chill. What's the problem?

Joey: "The problem? I just saw my tag team partner trading sexual favors to a dude for a push here, that's what the problem is!"

"(Dammit...he found out...) That's terrible! Greg's doing that?"

Joey: "I'm...I'm just sickened, you know? I've teamed with him for a little while now, and I thought he was better than all of that stuff, but then this comes out...I can't face him. I've made my decision, man. I'll say hi to your brother for you, okay?"

"You're going to the WWE?"

Joey: "Well, I don't want to go to TNA if THAT's what got me hired..."

"Touche. Well, it'll be sad to see you go, but I'll be rooting for you in the WWE, man..."

Joey: "Thanks. Don't worry- I'm sure you'll be there soon, buddy. I'm going to the bus station- hopefully I should be able to get to Stamford, finalize the contract, and be at Flagship to drop the belts. It sucks that I'll have to team with HIM again, but what are you gonna do?"

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, man!" I shook hands with him as he headed off to hail a cab.

Jeff Jarrett v. Shane Douglas

Well, after the match that occurred prior to this one, the question was what could they do for an encore here. The answer was: A decent match, but one that the fans weren't that into. It was a shame that they had to follow it, as the match was actually fairly good. Jarrett and Douglas usually mesh fairly well in the ring, or well enough to forget that the match is basically the same as their match on the PPV. The ending was exactly the same to boot: Jarrett fights back, Jerry Lynn runs in, attacks, DQ to the champion, blah blah why the hell are you giving us the same exact main event two times in a row you idiots? Good match, but it could be seen as exhibit A on why NWATNA is becoming WCW...

(58, 83, 70)

After the match, I found Alex and talked with him.

"So, did I do a good job?"

Alex: "Excellent, my man...what's going on..." Just then, I saw that Lollipop girl head out of the women's locker room, as Alex's jaw seemed to drop...

Alex: "Excuse me...oh, hi there. Listen, I, um, just wanted to thank you for, um, helping me out when I was, um, needed it a couple weeks ago, uh...so, nice weather here in Nashville, right...oh, I seem so charmingly befuddled right now..."

(InterKnight: "YOU LITTLE SELL-OUT..."

"WOT? FEK 'AFF..."

InterKnight: "REFLECTO'S BLATANTLY BOOKING TO FANS...REFLECTO'S A TOTAL SELLOUT TO HIS ARTISTIC VISION AND THE GLORIOUS STYLISTICAL JOURNEY..."

"I AM NOT! I SWEAR!"

InterKnight: "Sure...continue trying to blatantly book Alex Shelley as a heartthrob in order to curry RavenBlack's favor, 'Flec...I won't stop you...Capitalist...")

Lollipop: "Oh...thanks...I guess..." I could see Alex acting all befuddled, Hugh Grant-like, and wanted to laugh...until I saw the reason I would do the same thing walk out of the dressing room...

Jocelyn: "Oh, hey Tom! Great 'job' you did out there..."

"Oh, come on...they said the Peacemakers were going over, Alex asked me to do him a solid- I did it..."

Jocelyn: "I was kidding. So, is Joey here? I thought you two would have already left for Providence..."

"Nope...he's taking a bus up to Stamford..."

Jocelyn: "Oh. So he's signing with WWE? That's a shame- I was hoping more of the wOw people could help overrun TNA like you did in the AWA..."

"Yeah...that would have been nice..."

Jocelyn: "Well, I've got to get going- I'll see you at the show tomorrow!" Jocelyn hugged me as she left for her car. I headed towards mine, still looking towards Alex as he was stammering over at Lollipop. "There but for the grace of...well, someone else go I...", I thought, then decided to think more loudly "ALEX AND LOLLIPOP SITTING IN A TREE..." until I saw Alex get a sour look to tell me he read the thought.

Meanwhile, while Alex was reading that thought, Lollipop was thinking...

Lollipop: "So...that little bitch thought she could get away with taking the position I deserved, did she? Well, it looks like I've found the perfect way that I can get back at her for taking my spot..." Lollipop made an evil smirk as Alex returned to his mind...

Alex: "Wow...she's smiling...she must like me..."

Over: 69

stokeriño · January 30, 2005

As far as my reading gathered, the route of this episode went something like this:

* Incestuous marriage proposal

->

* Lolicon pregnancy proposal

->

* Yaoi sexual favours

->

* Reflecto sells out

...

I have no real comment to make on that. I just look at that list, shake my head and think:

"Dude..."

"What?"

"Just...dude."

-_-

Cool new signiture by the way.

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · February 1, 2005

wOw Flagship

As Flagship started, Steve Evans headed into the ring accompanied by Veronica Diamond. Diamond took the mic...

Diamond: "At the River Rave, I PROMISED all of you that you would remember the power of the Diamond Exchange at the end of the night, and that we would change the outlook of whacked Out wrestling forever. Now, you may watch as the greatness of this boast came to fruition. It is my pleasure to announce the greatest, the best, and, oh yeah, the BIGGEST Superstar wOw has to offer right now, Steve Evans! Evans took the mic...

Evans: "Now, after the River Rave, a lot of people were asking me, 'Why, Steve? Why did you do it? Why would you go and attack Tom Goddard after his matchup?' To be honest, for a second, all the questions did make me ask myself exactly why I would go and do something like this...for about a day. Then, Monday came, and I found my reason in the form of the Heat tapings we were on...oh, wait, I wasn't on those tapings! Nope, apparently there wasn't enough space for Steve Evans to show his stuff to the WWE brass, perhaps finally get my chance to break out on a major national scale for the first time ever. Oh, but I couldn't feel too worried about this, of COURSE there was plenty of room for Tom to get himself a chance to impress the WWE brass on the show, even though he was contractually unable to sign anything, effectively meaning that ONCE AGAIN, Tom Goddard put his own wants ahead of his friends to be seen as the 'Crown Jewel' of whacked Out wrestling. Just like always, he gets the brass ring while I got left on the sidelines! That's why I've found the person right here who I am certain will help me get to prove I'm at the same level as my 'Bestest Friend in the WHOLE WIDE world', and show ALL OF YOU once and for all that I'm one of the best in the world today!" Just then, Tom Goddard rushed down to the ring and took the mic...

Goddard: "Hold up. Is this what all of this is about, man? You're worried I'm becoming more of a name than you are, so you decide to attack me? What's your problem? Didn't you know that I was always right here if you had a concern with what was going down? Didn't you know I'm still right here if you needed help?"

Evans: "Oh, needed help, that's rich. Just like you helped me when you played politics in NWATNA to help me keep my job when they were about to release me...OH WAIT, you and Jocelyn never lifted a finger to help me out then. I'm sure if you two could have EASILY kept me on the TNA roster, and probably gotten me a push out of it as well! But no- that would require Tom Goddard to DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE!"

Goddard: "I see. Well, then tell me. What do you want? What do you want from me to help ease this?"

Evans: "Oh, that's simple. I want the one thing that symbolizes your stranglehold on wrestling. I want a match for your wOw World Heavyweight Title. I want to get the belt that I've deserved more than you all year, and would have probably gotten if I hadn't hit the Pick-6 in the Family Lineage Lottery like you did!" Goddard thought a bit...

Goddard: "I'm sorry, but I can't give you that. You're my best friend, and I am NOT going to fight you. I'm sorry about that."

Evans: "Well then, I guess I'll have to wait until I make you HAVE to fight me, and then, you will lose the thing most precious to you. All this little facade you've built up will crumble to dust at my hands...old friend..." Evans glowered at Goddard as the show went to break.

(70)

Chigusa Nagayo v. Chapparita ASARI

Oh, joy...another bland joshi match for no apparent reason. This was...detachable. The crowd was fairly detatched, the match was fairly standard, and in honesty, I see no reason to write out the whole of this match. I mean, come on, I've got a whole show to book here, I can't spend too much time on these bland little filler matches with people who are likely to go absolutely nowhere...*sigh* Why did I hire so many females when I never use 90% of them in-game? Eh, who cares. Nagayo won. There. This is done. We now continue with regularly scheduled stuff that works in the game.

(44, 62, 53)

After the match, The Nobodies were talking (though, surprisingly looked angrier than normal). Just then, the Stampede Bulldogs and Nattie Neidhart rushed over and attacked the two.

Harry Smith: "Ah...it looks like you're having problems...the perfect time to strike, my partner!"

TJ Wilson: "You know it, bro!" The two attacked the Nobodies viciously before rushing off.

(70- I know, I'm surprised too.)

(Tag Team) The Nobodies v. The Stampede Bulldogs

Well, at least it seems like the Harry Smith main event experiment is over- a good thing, as he's much better in tag team work. Of course, that's what I thought of a certain other tag team in wOw and that worked out okay, so I guess I can't fault them for trying, right? These two teams put on an excellent match during the show, despite what seemed to be a problem on the champions' side. Joey Hamm took a form of playing Ricky Morton in the match, taking a major brunt of the attacks from the Stampede Bulldogs for the most part. The only difference was that in this instance, Hamm refused a number of tags from Greg Burch, instead going it alone almost by choice in the matchup. The match was pretty poor otherwise, as eventually Harry Smith got a Powerslam on Joey Hamm to get the victory. After the match, Greg Burch tried to raise Joey Hamm's hand in triumph, only for Hamm to rebuff him, instead spelling "WWE" in the air with his fingers as the crowd cheered (apparently confirming the rumors I had heard prior to the show that Joey Hamm had signed a WWE contract- a definite coup for them while a decent blow to AWAMLW...)

(64, 83, 73)

Samoa Joe v. Chuck Palumbo

When in doubt, put two decent power wrestlers together and make them fight. This is actually one of those matches I was excited for: Samoa Joe is easily the best pure power worker on the indies right now, and Chuck Palumbo has been awesome since leaving the WWE in favor of whacked Out wrestling. Together, the two put on a match that they really had no business putting on (at least in theory), ending up performing a decent show. Samoa Joe soon took the advantage, however, using a large amount of nice moves to keep Palumbo reeling. Apparently however, that wasn't enough, as Samoa Joe then CHEATED TO WIN~!, then refused a handshake from Palumbo following the match. Not too bad a match, at the very least...

(70, 74, 72)

Steve Evans v. Spanky

Before the match, Tom Goddard headed down to do guest commentary for the match...

Madison Carter: "It's an honor to have the champ here with us...

Gristleizer: "Yeah, it's great. What brings you out here?

Goddard: "Oh, nothing- I just felt like showing support to my old buddy Steve..."

Gristleizer: "You hear that, Madison? He's a good friend!"

Match: Well, this was an awesome match, which is a good thing. Usually if you're pushing new blood to the main event, it helps if they start it with an excellent match to solidify them.

Carter: "Good work by your 'friend' Steve..."

Goddard: "Oh yeah- he's so good, you wouldn't guess that he cries when he ejaculates..."

Gristleizer: "How would YOU know this?"

Goddard: "Come on- all the best tag teams have played 'hot tag' with some rat once or twice..."

Evans and Spanky really meshed well in the ring, with Spanky nearly causing Evans to break character a couple times from comedic spots, most notably one when where Spanky fake-kissed Evans, getting him pissed!

Carter: "That's not going to make him any friends..."

Goddard: "I dunno...Steve does own all of Erasure's albums and once told me he understands why women find Rupert Everett attractive..."

Gristleizer: "I see..."

In the ring, Veronica Diamond was trying her best to distract Spanky, eventually doing so and causing Evans to get the advantage.

Carter: "Veronica Diamond seems to be earning her pay tonight..."

Goddard: "I like him with Diamond. It works. It's better than the last girl he was serious about- I mean, I was shocked when I saw her taking a dump on top of his parents' glass coffee table with him underneath tearing one off like a freaking monkey...now that was a little weird..."

In the ring, Evans made the most of his advantage, hitting a Slight Remix on Spanky to get the victory.

Carter: "An impressive victory for Steve Evans!"

Goddard: "Well, I should be hitting the dusty trail- until next time, it's Tom Goddard, here to remind you that Steve Evans cannot achieve orgasm unless he kills a dog!" Goddard tried to leave...only to be stopped by the Diamond Exchange. The Diamond Exchange grabbed him and held him while Steve Evans pointed towards Goddard's title as the show ended.

(71, 88, 79)

Over: 70

RavenBlack · February 1, 2005

* Incestuous marriage proposal

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · February 1, 2005

AWA: Major League Wrestling

Jason Knight: "Welcome to tonight's AWA: MLW show- the hottest new federation in the world today! I am Jason Knight, with me is Joey Styles, and tonight we've got a huge main event that's been months in the making. That's right, Christopher Daniels and Harry Potsmoker go one-on-one here tonight in that very ring!" Just then, the cameras cut to backstage, where the Death Eaters were pumping up Potsmoker.

Richter: "All right, now you know the drill. You may never get another shot at these guys, so make the most of it tonight. Go out there and win the belt for all of us. You got it?"

Potsmoker: "Don't worry, Mr.R...tonight, once I get through with Daniels, ALL...THERE'LL...BE...IS...SMOKE."The others kept pumping him up as Alex Shelley left the room, only to be met by Jamie Kogyaru...

Alex Shelley: "Ah, just the girl I've been waiting to see...I'm sure you know me, the Next big thing in pro-wrestling today, Alex Shelley...I assume my reputation precedes itself..."

Kogyaru: "Yeah, like, let me think...oh, you're one of those lapdogs to the traitor, right, or some junk?"

Shelley: "Hey, miss, I am lapdog to NO ONE. Hell, I'm the AWA Cruiserweight Champion!" Kogyaru then looked at him...

Kogyaru: "I see...well,that changes things a bit, ya know?"

Shelley: "I knew it would..."

Kogyaru: "Yeah, like, I wanted to try and get some matches against guys, and holding your belt would be the best part to try!"

Shelley: "Oh, like you could get my title..."

Kogyaru: "Well, if you put your title up against me, I might put something up in return..." Kogyaru pointed down to accent her body as she continued...

Shelley: "I see. Well, I assume tonight's going to be...fun..." Alex Shelley left as Kogyaru shook her head and mouthed "Idiot..."

(62)

Ballard Brothers v. The Johnsons

WHY THE HELL ARE THEY PUSHING THE JOHNSONS? They put on horrific matches, the show is weaker whenever they're on, and the fans are laughing at them, not with them as far as their gimmick goes. This time, they're carrying the usually solid Ballards to a poor matchup, as the two teams were not that good as a pairing goes. The only good thing about this match was the ending- thankfully after a short piece, The Johnsons attacked Shane Ballard with a Double Powerslam, then posed. Shannon Ballard took the mic...

Ballard: "Hey- you dicks better watch what you do to us, or else you'll run afoul of other people in the AWA...or teams you can't boss around...or...or Greeks...YOU KNOW, MEN FROM GREECE?" Just then, the Men From Greece headed down to the ring and attacked The Johnsons, laying both out with Big Fat Greek Suplexes. Seeing the opportunity, Shannon Ballard tagged his partner and got an easy pin for the victory. Not too bad...

(49, 75, 62)

Alex Shelley v. Jamie Kogyaru

Wow- I'm actually impressed. An inter-gender match that turned out awesome? Someone pinch me. It helps that the female's arguably the best women's wrestler in the world today, while the male is one of the fastest-rising prospects in wrestling this year, but still, this was an awesome showing by both sides. I was surprised that the two put on a decent technical match, not just by inter-gender standards, but by wrestling standards as a whole. The match kept going by decent standards, finally ending with Alex Shelley kissing Kogyaru on the cheek, then using the distraction to roll her up (while keeping his feet on the ropes for leverage) to get the big three count. After the match, he motioned to Kogyaru, only to be rebuffed as the show went to break. Impressive by every definition of the word, and likely to be the new standard by which inter-gender matches are held up to for the future...

(59, 90, 74)

After that match, I just had to congratulate Alex and Jamie on their awesome, awesome show in the ring. I headed to the Gorilla position, only to be beaten by Alex's sister and some guy I didn't recall meeting before...

Black: "ONIIIIIIIICHAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was so awesomely super-duper! I knew you were amazing in the ring, but that was...wow!"

Alex: "Save some of the thanks for my ringmate- Jamie more than held up her side of the match..."

"Wow, you guys...that was...HOW am I going to go after that matchup? Do you know what you're doing here? You guys were terrific!" I saw Jamie blush as she stammered out some words...

Jamie: "Um...uh, Tom...I don't think...you...liked it? That's such a...compliment..." The guy I hadn't met then piped in afterwards:

Guy: "That was breathtaking, madam. It led me to ask you one question..."

Alex: "Austin, no..."

Austin: "Will you...bear my child?" Just then, I saw Jamie drop back and uppercut this 'Austin' guy into the stratosphere as I mentally told myself to never piss her off...

Austin: "A...simple...no...would have sufficed..."

Jamie: "I've got to talk to Alex alone, Tom- I'll see you Monday. Good luck in your match?"

"Thanks...I'll see you!" I left and tried to prepare myself mentally for the matchup coming.

Mike Sullivan v. Dave Menne

Ah, AWAMLW: You know just what I like. When in doubt, put Mike Sullivan, Tom Howard, or some shootfighters together and just let them fight. It's usually a good match, and rarely a problem in my eyes. These two workers proceeded to pull a decent match seemingly out of their ass once more, letting the whole show look better and better as a result. Tom Howard came down to the ring to watch Sullivan's back as he didn't look through. Dave Menne then took the advantage, using some nice MMA-skills on Sullivan for the whole of it. Sullivan fought back, however, and managed to get a nice rollup on Menne to get the big victory. Awesome show, as always from these competitors. After the match, Sullivan invited Howard into the ring...only to be rebuffed as Howard went back to the dressing room.

(53, 85, 69)

After the break, Vader was backstage with Jeff Richter...

Richter: "Ladies and gentlemen, last Underground we had a huge coup for the good guys, as the most dominant force in wrestling, the Man Called Vader, joined up with our forces to put the belt where it belongs! Mr. Vader, can you tell me why you wised up and joined the winning team?"

Vader: "It's simple, really. For too long, the AWA had been holding me back. They thought I didn't have what it took anymore. They make me look like a putz and then complained about the very same thing! I knew I needed to join a team that didn't care about that, that would let someone fulfill all their dreams. I never wanted to be a monster- I wanted to be a baseball player! Luckily, the Death Eaters saw that, and allowed me a chance to try out for my hometown team. Now, I'm on their roster, and for that solid, the Death Eaters can count on me, Vader- The big man from the Colorado Rockies- The baseball team, not the mountains!"

Richter: "Anything else to say to the fans?"

Vader: "I FEAR NO MAN, AND I FEEL NO PAIN- SO PLAY BALL!"

(74)

Meanwhile, Jamie had pulled Alex into a broom closet somewhere...

Jamie: "Listen, I wanted to thank you for giving me such a good match, and well...the woman who trained me told me there's only one way to thank someone if they give you an awesome inter-gender matchup..."

Alex: "Wait...what are you saying?"

Jamie: "To put it simply: Do what you want to me, big man..." Jamie started to kiss Alex, only for him to get two smaller versions of himself on his shoulders...

Bad Alex: "YES! Reflecto's writing you to get some, man! Take the opportunity when it comes!"

Good Alex: "No, Alex. You know who you want...just save it up for her, man!"

Jamie: "I can hear your thoughts...You don't want me?"

Alex: "No, it's not that...it's just...there's someone else I'm interested in..."

Jamie: "Well, I can't say that that isn't a relief...To tell the truth, there's someone I'm interested in, too..."

Alex: "I'm way ahead of you...ooh! Jamie and Tom, Sitting in a Tree..."

Jamie: "HEY! I know, it's a little silly, but...he's everything I've looked for. Someone who's my equal in the ring, someone I like being with outside of the ring, and just someone I feel like I can always strive for better whenever I'm around him. How could a girl not want a guy like that?"

Alex: "Don't worry about it. From what I know about Tom, he's always looking for someone who'd make him feel that way. He'd probably be really happy if you told him how you felt, Jamie..."

Jamie: "But...but he likes my friend...I couldn't do that to her..."

Alex: "I understand the feeling. Sometimes, you have to make a move and just try everything to make it happen. If you care for him, do this."

Jamie: "Tell me...do you always make so much sense when giving advice?"

Alex: "Yeah- reading people's thoughts tends to do that to someone."

Jamie: "Aww...well, we should probably go."

Alex: "Okay."

Jamie: "And just so you know...if neither of us succeeds, I still owe you one sexual encounter so intense that it could conceivably change your political views...okay?"

Alex: "I'll hold you to it..." The two left the broom closet as the show continued...

Frank Shamrock v. Vanderlei Silva

And now, we get a fairly poor entry into the "MMA-Division" matches for our troubles. These two didn't work as well as you'd think together, instead just putting on a par-for-the-course "good" match. This was a shame- with how well their styles go together, you would think that they'd be a perfect matchup. The match was basically a filler matchup to boot- the two seemed to be going through the motions. Shamrock got the win- not a problem, as he's a more trained wrestler than Silva is, so this could lead to more good things for AWAMLW. Eh, it was what it was...

(72, 81, 76)

Bryan Danielson v. Chance Beckett

WOW. Now THIS is the type of hot match that is good for the company. Danielson and Beckett put on a technical clinic in the ring, meshing about as well as you could expect. This is a plus of how many new stars AWAMLW is making, as the two managed to put on a match I could buy as a main event (and hopefully will be soon- with how many good workers AWAMLW is getting near the top of the card, this is a good thing...) The only problem I had with the match was Bryan Danielson getting the win. IMO, Chance Beckett's recent major push and the fact that he's basically homegrown should have led to him getting the win to keep his hot streak going here, but hey- with good matches, what are you going to do?

(71, 95, 83)

After the break, the crowd started getting really hot as Court H. Bauer came down to the ring for the World Title bout.

Bauer: "Ladies and gentlemen, due to the importance of this match, I have taken it upon myself to act as special guest referee! I trust everyone knows that I, as owner of the AWA: Major League Wrestling, will act in the best interests of the federation and the sport itself. Now, let's get on with the match!" Just then, a cannon went off, some girls started dancing, and a huge, nicely-produced music video hit as Christopher Daniels came to the ring, his AWA World Title around his waist.

Bauer: "Coming in first, the LEADER of the AWA, the greatest wrestler in the world at the moment, and a true legend of the independent scene, he is the greatest champion of the new AWA era, it is my pleasure to introduce YOUR AWA World Champion, from Sin City, "The Fallen Angel", CHRISTOPHER DANIELS!" Daniels headed to the ring and posed for the crowd as the whole spectacle stopped up to and including dimmer lights as Harry Potsmoker headed for the ring.

Bauer: "The challenger... Harry Potsmoker." Potsmoker headed to the ring, only to be attacked by Daniels as the bell started.

(WORLD) Christopher Daniels v. Harry Potsmoker

What better way to say this other than the hottest match I've ever seen not by WWF or WCW. This crowd was in the palm of these two workers' hands throughout the whole of the matchup. This would be nothing, if it weren't for the fact that the match wasn't also a world-class matchup to boot. Put them together, and we have a veritable MOTY contender in the whole of this. Daniels started using a large amount of weaponry on Potsmoker, all "conveniently" unseen by Bauer in the ring. Daniels tried to hit Potsmoker with a chair, but Potsmoker reversed it into a Van Daminator...only to get warned by Bauer...which led to Daniels hitting Potsmoker across the back with the chair.

Knight: "It looks like Potsmoker's got another thing to worry about here in the match."

Styles: "You know Court H. Bauer does NOT want Potsmoker as his champion, and he'll do whatever it takes to stop that from happening!"

The two kept fighting. Eventually, Potsmoker got another advantage, and Irish whipped Daniels to the outside over the top rope- only to get warned again for that one. Meanwhile, Daniels used his time on the outside to get more weapons, only to attack Potsmoker more. The two kept fighting, as they traded punches and kicks- only for Bauer to warn Potsmoker for using closed fists!

Knight: "I'm surprised! That rule hasn't been in effect since the 1920s! Bauer must really want to screw Potsmoker!"

Styles: "Huh huh...you said Bauer wants to screw Potsmoker..."

Knight: "Shut up, assmunch!"

Styles: "You shut up, dillweed!"

Despite all of these things, Potsmoker got one final advantage. This time, he managed to get things set, and then signalled for the My Final Heaven. Potsmoker loaded Daniels up and sent him to the mat, then covered...only for Bauer to call for the bell!

Bauer: "Ladies and gentlemen...due to the challenger breaking the rule of No moves from off of the top rope, the winner of the match by disqualification is, YOUR AWA WORLD CHAMPION, CHRISTOPHER DANIELS!" The celebration started again as Bauer took the mic...

Bauer: "But that's not all, fans! You see, there's one little extra to this...you see, it just so happens that since this was a World Title match only, then this was also a non-title match for the East Coast Title. Due to the AWAMLW rules, that means that now , Christopher Daniels is the number one contender to the East Coast Title, and his match will take place on Underground. If Daniels wins, then we'll finally be rid of those Death Eaters once and for all!" The show ended as Daniels and Bauer celebrated in the ring.

(97, 95, 96)

kale · February 2, 2005

who are the heels supposed to be? Bauer makes tom and his friends out to be the heels but he and daniels act more like heels then tom and his friends do

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · February 2, 2005

After that show, I was a little weary- being in a match with a worker like Daniels will do that to you. Seeing how tired I looked, Alex proceeded to suggest he drive to Nashville, which I was fine with. I took the opportunity to get a well-deserved nap, sleeping soundly throughout the way...

<<Knight: "I don't believe this! We have a new AWA Champion!"

Styles: "Harry Potsmoker has went past the final person standing in his way, and can finally hold up the AWA World Heavyweight Championship!" Court H. Bauer headed over.

Bauer: "So...you think you have what it takes for the title? You may have beaten our champion, but there is one person who you have yet to destroy..." Just then, Kamala came out of the back and started attacking me with his old-school offense. Just as I tried to fight back, he grabbed me and hit me with a monster headbutt as I felt myself spring awake...

"Whoa...just a dream..." I then looked over to see myself not moving next to me...

"YAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH! Someone help me! I'm dead! I'm dead and not alive and I'm too young to die, dammit!" Just then, I was approached by Jimmy Jacobs...

Jimmy: "What are you talking about? Did you use the happy cigarettes on your way here?"

"No...I was there, and now...I'm there...and not moving, and I'm dead and now only you can see me, Jimmy..."

Jimmy: "Honestly, Alex- sometimes, you surprise even me with what you come out with..." So that must be it- apparently, Alex just switched bodies with me again. I shook 'myself' awake...

"You know, next time you should TELL me when you're going to do that..."

'Alex': "Sorry- I was going to wake you up to tell you the plan, but, well, you looked SO cute sleeping...that, plus I didn't know I was going to until we got here..."

"Um...okay...why DID you switch bodies with me?"

'Alex': "Just saw the booking sheet- you drew an inter-gender with Lollipop tonight! Yippie! I'm gonna go roll around on the mat..." That little...I had to find some revenge, but only something that would fit...

"TOM GODDARD, YOU ARE A SMELLY HOMO! YOU HAVE SEX WITH MEN! AND YOU SMELL!" Jeez, it hurts having to do that to myself. I tried to find some way to help ease the pain, only to find the possible option...

Black: "ONIIIIIIIIICHANNNNNNNNNNNNN...wait...you're not my Onichan...you're an impostor! What's your reason for going into my onichan's body...?" I saw Alex's sister start crying cute little waterfall tears as I ran away lest I get someone angry at me for making a girl cry...

NWA: Total Nonstop Action

In the back, the 3 Live Kru were standing up in preparation for their America's X-Cup shot...

Killings: "So- we have a shot at the America's X-Cup...tonight?"

Konnan: "That's the story, yeah..."

Killings: "...And, if we lose, we have to defend the Tag Titles against those little freaks?"

Konnan: "Well, yeah..."

Killings: "So, one question...Why do we not have 4 people?" The camera cut to the whole room, where the 3 Live Kru team was revealed as Kevin Hayes, Lollipop, and one unknown...

Killings: "And who is this guy?"

Unknown: "Name's Masada- I'm the janitor..."

BG James: "YOU ARE COLD AS ICE, Konnan! How are we supposed to win this if we have such a poor excuse for an America's X team?"

Konnan: "Don't worry- I have one last trick up my sleeve for those America2 punks...you'll see..."

(75)

(America's X Qualifier) Danny Hillstead and Jay Matthews v. Masada and Kevin Hayes

Oh dear Yevon, this was a bad matchup. As if Hillstead matches weren't bad enough, we got a team that had no chemistry together (Masada and Hayes) up against him. Matthews may be good, but not even Flair in his prime could carry this match to watchability. The two teams did not look good against each other, and there was nothing worth seeing in the whole thing. The only time I marked out was the ending, as Jay Matthews hit a Hype Factor on Masada to get the duke. Horrid opener.

(43, 68, 55)

Tom Goddard v. Lollipop

TELL ME...THEY DID NOT JUST BOOK THIS. I am going to wake up and find that this was just a bad dream- that they did not mortgage their future by putting Tom Goddard, easily the best worker on roster, up against Lollipop in a comedy matchup. This match contained a lot of comic extras to make it look somewhat worse, mostly involving stupid spots: See Tom Goddard using a Bearhug-heavy offense to take Lollipop down! See him roll around on the mat with her until she submits! See Tom Goddard change his style dramatically, going from the dynamic, jack-of-awesome-trades style he usually uses to some more British submission-style working! See him in what is easily the worst match that he has ever been in, and I can safely include matches he had before he was formally trained in the ring! The match ending had a weird finish to add to the car wreck of a match, as Goddard went against his usual stuff and hit a Springboard Dropkick to finish the victory (which I can only assume was him trying to protect the less-trained Lollipop). Put this match on Wrestlecrap.com tonight!

(41, 35, 39)

After the match, Team America2 celebrated with the America's X-Cup after the clinching victory. Just then, Konnan came to the ring and took the mic...

Konnan: "You know- the rule states that if the victory is clinched, you still have to go through the final match..." Jayce Simmons headed into the ring and took the mic...

Simmons: "Eh, who cares? Mr. Jayce is able to take on whoever you put up against us. Who's my opponent? The ring crew boy? Another cage dancer? What?"

Konnan: "Close...HIM!" Just then, the lights went out. When they came back on, Psychosis was in the ring attacking Jayce Simmons!

Psychosis v. Jayce Simmons

Okay. If you're saving Psychosis as the final surprise for the America's X-Cup, why not use him as the one to face off with Goddard and give us a world-class matchup for the finish? This match was much hotter than the last two, and probably will serve as a star-making performance for Jayce Simmons. The two put on a decent matchup during this one- well needed considering how poor the last couple matches were. Psychosis got the victory here following a nice Sky Twister Press, which is not a bad thing. At the very least, NWATNA got another top-shelf worker to keep in their quiver...

(62, 82, 72)

After that match, I headed to the Gorilla position to take my spot in Alex's match as I saw him head back. I walked out to the ring as he was heading back in too short a time to switch back, thus forcing me into a matchup as him...

(X-TAG) Five Star Attraction v. The Peacemakers

This match was somewhat good for a decent one. The Five Stars keep improving with every match together, and The Peacemakers looked like they brought their a-game for the match (in particular, Kid Psycho looked like he was much better than usual.) The two teams made a number of tag moves, each designed to put on some decent hurting for themselves. The Peacemakers took the advantage, as Kid Psycho proceeded to lay out the two members of the team. Kid Psycho grabbed Ray Gordy and went to the top for a Top-Rope Tiger Driver, only to be hit in the back by Kriss Sprules, allowing Gordy to turn it into a Snap Superplex, then get a pin for the victory!

Sprules: "Ah yes! You can see the greatness of this team! No one will be able to defeat Five Star Attraction!"

On-screen text: "Someone's bound to do it eventually..."

(51, 81, 66)

Meanwhile, backstage 'Tom' was with Lollipop...

Lollipop: "Listen- I really want to thank you for what you did for me out there...it was SUCH an honor to wrestle a...BIG star like you..."

'Alex': "Well, um, uh, thanks...my pleasure...anytime you want?"

Lollipop: "Oh, I don't know how I could repay you for something like this...I'm just so confused on what to do?"

'Alex': "Don't worry...um, I'm sure we can think of something..."

Lollipop: "Oh, I can only think of one thing good enough for someone like you, but...no, I can't...I can't get in between you and my DEAR friend Jocelyn..."

'Alex': "No! No! Get in between us! Yeah!"

Lollipop: "Are...are you sure I'm good enough for you?"

'Alex': "Yeah! Yeah! Of course you are!"

Lollipop: "Okay...be...be gentle..." Alex made a move towards Lollipop as she thought... (HA. Current score: Lollipop-1, Carpet-Bagging Bitch- 0.)

(THE FOLLOWING SCENE HAS BEEN PREEMPTED BY THE REDEMPTION CREW. REMEMBER- WE KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU. WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.)

Meanwhile, in the ring, Altar Boy Luke was ready and had the mic...

Altar Boy Luke: "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is a Tough match for me. You see, I go into that ring against a lost soul in CarWreck. And yea, I may even lose this match, and be beaten within an inch of my life by CarWreck and his friends in the Gathering. But lo, I do NOT fear these beatings, and will take them easily! For I KNOW That The Messiah is here with me tonight and every night, and that he WILL protect me from the slings and arrows that I may get in the ring!" Just then, CarWreck interrupted Altar Boy Luke with an attack as the match started.

CarWreck v. Altar Boy Luke

Well, this was a good match. The two workers really worked well with each other in the ring, making a decent show for each other as the match went on. The styles meshed fairly decently, providing for one of the best matches for each one in the ring for it. CarWreck took the advantage, putting a number of nice high-flying moves on Altar Boy Luke to punish him. Altar Boy Luke tried to counter, but CarWreck's attack was just too much for him. CarWreck got a Cascading Entropy on Altar Boy Luke to get the victory, but the winners were both workers- I wouldn't be surprised if pushes for both are in the future...

(50, 85, 67)

After the match, CarWreck kept attacking Altar Boy Luke viciously, then took a mic...

CarWreck: "Where's your Messiah now, Luke? Watching idly by as the newer age destroys your immortal soul, is he?" CarWreck kept a vicious attack going, until the lights went down and "Prayer" hit. Just then, The Messiah ran out of the crowd and attacked CarWreck with a steel chair, laying him out! Altar Boy Luke and The Messiah posed a bit as the show went to break.

(76)

New Jack and Murder One v. Raven and Chris Hamrick

Dear God, they kept Murder One...and are apparently pushing him...Dear God again, they brought back New Jack...This match was a poor matchup to watch in the ring. The two teams didn't work that well, and each consisted of one person who deserved better (well, New Jack...kind of...deserved better) and one mistake. The match, as a result, was fairly poor as a tag team match, and I don't feel like sticking around to see if the teams gel better. New Jack and Murder One got the victory here, but the fans really lost- it might be time to send Murder One back to development for more seasoning.

(60, 70, 65)

Jerry Lynn and Chris Sabin v. Jeff Jarrett and Glenn Gilbertti

And even the main event couldn't draw fans' imagination. I'm sorry- when four of the closest things to main eventers can't do it, and when indeed they also tried to elevate a worker in the form of Chris Sabin, that says something about the quality of your federation. The match was surprisingly good, which makes it even more sad that it didn't click that well. The two teams meshed fairly well for each other, and the match ended up looking really good as a result. The ending was also a pleasant surprise, as Jerry Lynn got the clean pinfall over Jeff Jarrett- a surprise, as I thought no one was allowed to beat Jarrett ever. Well, this will be a good thing for NWATNA...at least, if they follow up on it...

(67, 85, 76)

Over: 65

After all the matches were over, I looked for Alex to become myself again. Eventually, I managed to catch up to Jocelyn, which was harder to think of when I was in another person's body...

"Um...hey, Jocelyn is it?"

Jocelyn: "Hi, um...who are you again?"

"Um, it's one of Tom's friends...Alex Shelley?"

Jocelyn: "Oh yeah, that's right...what's going on?"

"Listen...I'm looking for Tom- have you seen him around?"

Jocelyn: "I'm looking for him too- my dad had some info he needed to get him." I searched around with Jocelyn looking to find myself. Eventually, I thought I heard my voice coming from one of the locker rooms. I called to Jocelyn, and looked inside...only to get a sight that very few people who don't videotape their exploits get to see.

"(Alex, I am going to kill you...) Um, never mind...false alarm..." However, by the time I got there, Jocelyn had gotten a good view of what was happening. I could see her start to cry, and the tears started to well up in my eyes as well...

Jocelyn: "I HATE YOU!!!!!" I saw Jocelyn run off crying as I tried to follow her, only to be stopped by remembering who's body I was in...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · February 5, 2005

From the livejournal of Jocelyn Richter.

Why did I put so much hope into this?

I can still remember the reasoning for this. All throughout my life, I had never wanted many guys. I knew I had been asked out by a number of men during my time in junior high and high school, and indeed allowed myself once or twice to go out with some little punk Sean (well, before he got too cocky and tried to go further with me.) However, I had never loved anyone...not like I did since I was younger. Not like I did when I met him.

I honestly thought Tom was different from all the other guys. When I was younger, I always was more apt to play with him than with the other girls, knowing all the risks of catching "cooties" or "boy germs." I didn't care- I knew who I wanted to be with. I kept remembering playing house with him, knowing that it was just a game, but honestly wanting to make it for real- to live happily ever after with him. When we lost touch with each other due to going to different schools, I thought nothing would change- but then, I never assumed that I would feel this way for this long.

The day I heard that he had signed with Daddy was one of the days I was happiest. I had been happy just interviewing before then. To me, wrestling skills were like having a really good knife: I didn't want to have to use them all the time, but I was glad to have the best one money could buy. When I found out Tom signed, I knew I wanted to be an active worker and finally manage a tag team. Daddy was a pushover when he found out- I think he had waited for me to say it. When I finally saw Tom come back, it was everything I had hoped for- he was everything I wanted, and now I was old enough to show him how I felt in a more grown-up way.

Until SHE showed up.

I can't believe that she would do such a thing. I can't believe that HE would ALLOW her to do such a thing. To be honest, I can't fathom why he would do that with her, and I'm sure any excuse to get some. I thought he wasn't like these other guys. I hoped he wasn't, at least. Was THAT what mattered most to him? If he could have just asked, and I would have done whatever he wanted, why would she have been so important to him? Couldn't he see how I felt about him?

I honestly can't stand this...I loved him so much, and for this to happen, it's almost like a slap in the face- almost like everything in my life never meant anything.

Why did this have to happen? What was the reason for this?

Sorry if I feel a little weepy right now, fans, but I've gone through a really rough day...bear with me?

Your Sad Girl in the RI Snow,

(The Cute) J.R.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wOw Sin

As Sin started, 57U came to the ring and took the mic...

"Ph0r t00 l0n6, 3y3 h4v3 h4d t0 d34l w1th untru5tw0rthy p33pz t0 w4tch my b4ck. N0w, 3y3 h4v3 f0und 4 p41r 0ph p33pz wh0 w1ll m4k3 my dr34mz 0ph be1n6 d4 m4n 1n w0w 4 r34l1ty. 3y3 g1v3 j00z, C1M4, T4R0, t3h n3w 3v1l l33t!" Just then, the two came down to the ring and took the side of 57U, only to have C1M4 head to the ring for a match.

C1M4 v. Blitzkrieg

Okay- WHY THE HELL DID THEY GIVE CIMA A L33T D00D GIMMICK? He may be one of the best workers in the world today, he'd be a superstar if this was in Japan...and this is what wOw does to him? Okay...something has to be going on here...The match was awesome, at the very least, but considering that it was CIMA and Blitzkrieg, two amazing workers, that wasn't a hard thing to do. The workers put on an awesome spotfest in the ring- so much so that it seems that they changed the ending a bit, as seen by 57U grabbing T3h K36, only to put it down afterwards. This was not to say that the ending was clean, as T4R0 came in and helped his new teammate get the victory on Blitzkrieg- also not a problem, as it serves to solidify the tag team more. Not a bad match to debut the new 3v1l l33t, though that gimmick...YEESH...

(34, 96, 65)

After the match, Barry Horowitz and Stalker Ichikawa headed down to the ring as Horowitz took the mic...

Horowitz: "Now, I know me and my associate, Mr. Ichikawa here haven't gotten any victories yet..." Ichikawa played to the crowd as the fans had a mixed reaction... "But that's going to change. See, I saw how The Nobodies had some ring crew boys come in and fight them, and we want a piece of them too! So get in the ring and let's see what you've got!" The Strong Brothers then headed into the ring and began fighting them.

The Strong Brothers v. World's Greatest Jobber Team

Well, this was abysmal...Apparently, The Strong Brothers' last match was the result of The Nobodies being an awesome team (even after the problems I've heard the two have had together.) In this match, the much less able WGJT were unable to really capitalize on this stuff with the Strong Brothers. This wasn't a problem, as the match was pretty much a squash for the Strongs anyway. Horowitz and Ichikawa took a large amount of punishment from the two, finally ending with an easy pinfall. Poor, poor tag match.

(33, 70, 51)

After the break, Tom Goddard was backstage and had a mic...

"Now, I know the fans are watching here...but this is a message to my boy Steve. Dude, what was wrong? I know you've been feeling like I'm not giving you a fair shake, but come on, man! You're my best friend. There's no way I can fight you out there- not like you're apparently hell-bent on doing. I don't know what line this Veronica Diamond chick's been feeding you, but she is just Bad news. She's only looking for someone who can get her this title, and if you fail, she'll walk. That's the main difference- I won't walk. Jocelyn won't walk. We're the ones who know what's right here. So what I guess I'm saying is- get off the ledge, man. Don't throw away our friendship over some bitch who's only after one thing. Don't go after me, and we can still work this out. Please?"

(85)

(Tag Team) The Stampede Bulldogs v. Team OTAKU

Oh dear god no- in a federation so filled with good tag teams, we get THIS as a Title match? I don't know what was going wrong here- oh wait, I do: Everything. These two teams just did not mesh. It might be time, in fact, for Team OTAKU to be sent down to ACW to actually learn to be a team- it couldn't hurt them. The ending was a little...weird, as well. Ofune and Kari-Chan came down to the ring holding their Women's Tag Team Titles, then rushed into the ring and glomped Mamoru-kun and Tiga. The referee, thinking this was a bearhug, called for the bell and gave Team OTAKU the win via DQ. Weird match, but then, this is wOw, I guess it's expectable...

(47, 60, 53)

After the break, a video aired...

"After years of fighting, one man has given all he could.

One man has fought to get his position, to get his accolades, and finally, to be freed.

Injuries piled up for him, but still he rose through the cracks.

Now, at long last, after a long-standing career...he's free to come home.

But it is not for peace. It is for another battle." Just then, a large amount of scenes occurred of fighting, matches (mostly jobber matches in the WWE) came, and a scene of a familiar face flopping down, as if doing one of the WWE's more memorable finishers, finally going to a familiar face...

Face: "My wait...is nearly over..."

SCOTT TAYLOR

Coming soon to whacked Out wrestling...

(71)

Homicide v. Alex Shelley

Now this was a match that was better than it deserved to be. These two workers actually managed to mesh fairly well inside the ring, and that led to an excellent show for the fans. The two each made a large amount of offense- Homicide with some nice brawling, Shelley with some brutal-looking submission moves. Alex Shelley took the advantage, and punished Homicide with some nice moves. However, just as he hit the Springboard Dropkick, Greg Burch came out to the ring to the Mean Street Posse theme. This enraged Homicide, who grabbed Shelley and used him as a javelin out into the fans, getting a countout victory! After the match, Homicide ran after Burch, who was right there to start fighting back.

(42, 86, 64)

After that, a taped repeat of the Steve Evans/Spanky match aired (because, you know, we couldn't have an ORIGINAL main event) before Steve Evans came out to the ring and took the mic...

Evans: "You know, Tom- I've been thinking about the words you've been spouting, and it really touches me." The crowd started to cheer. "It touches me to know that my Dearest friend has grown up to become a GUTLESS, SPINELESS, YELLOW-BELLIED COWARD who's so desperate to be seen as the conquering God in Rhode Island that he'd duck his own buddy! Now, most people would be jealous. But I...I know better. I know that the reason that you won't do it- is because in your heart, you know I'm right. You KNOW that if you ever got in the ring with me, your weaknesses would be shown up, and you wouldn't be the Crown Jewel of whacked Out wrestling anymore. All this indy acclaim you get would go down the drain. You would be left being another borderline-talented, relatively popular, and all-together ORDINARY worker. But you don't want that, do you? You don't WANT to be one of the boys anymore. You WANT the acclaim, the applause. You don't want all of us old friends of yours holding you back from the main events in bigger federations- you want to leave all of this behind, and leave all these fans you say you adore with memories of 'I saw that kid Goddard when he was just starting out in the business, and now look at him!' Now, I know what you think, and you're right. But there's still hope for you...just make the way out to this ring, accept my challenge, and you CAN be one of the boys again. That is, if you're man enough..." The camera panned to the entranceway...only to see Goddard not come out.

Evans: "I knew it...you really ARE small-time..." The show ended as the announcers pondered that last piece of information.

(76)

Over: 68

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · February 6, 2005

( wOw Memorial Notes: Well, I suppose all the fans of wOw Memorial are noticing something a little different on where we're placed right now, and to be honest, I couldn't be happier about this. Getting wOw Memorial pinned is a total shock: I never expected that this would occur for a diary that's never been one of the more popular diaries so much as it is one of the more undiscovered gems- one of those diaries that chooses to take you on a journey rather than show you some wrestling. Getting pinned is a huge honor for me, as it shows that there really is a place on the Dome for a diary to improve (if you told me back in the early days when we were C+Ping results that I would improve to this level, I would have known I would. Ask someone else that though, and the answer would probably be a bit different...) I have to thank all the people who've been there throughout the whole of this:

The InterKnight- It's a shame you haven't been online that often, man- as my top assistant, this honor's as much yours as it is mine...

All the people who've been leaving feedback: kale, Stokerino, RavenBlack- it's always nice to know your work is appreciated, thanks a bunch.

The readers who are viewing this stuff- I don't know who you are, but if you think enough of this diary to keep reading, I have nothing but :wub: for you...

Whichever of the mods pinned this bad boy- this is entirely cool, thanks a lot!

Well, I've gotten that out of the way, now it's time to get back to doing what I do...well, apparently pretty darn good... )

Jocelyn: "I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!"

I could see Jocelyn's look of disgust- of utter hatred in her face as I saw her run away. The image had been burned into my skull since the moment it happened. I was miserable, but how can I be forgiven for this one? Somehow, it's pretty hard to believe that your buddy is a psychic and switched bodies with you, then used your body to hook up with the nemesis of the girl that you like. What I need now is a miracle, or some way for this to be proven for it...but I can't even smile, much less think of an idea to turn this normal. I tried to get my head on straight for tonight's match- but my mind kept going back to that moment, as the tears kept flowing. After this happened, I refused to speak to Alex, but I was somewhat lucky- Jerry Lynn was heading over to the same show, and was willing to give me a ride up this time. It was a surprisingly fun trip- apparently, he is a huge fan of my style and has been begging TNA to give us a series of matches together, which is always nice...well, it would be if my mind hadn't been destroyed just this night. Eventually, Jerry went on a break for this, while I waited. To be honest, I was so despondent upon this news that part of me was willing to just take the keys and send it over a bridge or something...no, not that. Not yet, at least. There was a match to work, and besides that, I wouldn't give Court H. Bauer the satisfaction of going onto his show and telling the fans to rejoice at my death. I just felt lower than I had ever felt before, and was just miserable as the show started. I foregoed my usual spot at the Gorilla position in favor of a broom closet where I could just have a good cry away from the fans and the other workers. Luckily, I had managed to find a booking sheet, so I just read through while the show went on...

AWAMLW Underground (DAMMIT! Why did it have to happen that my diary gets pinned the day a "recap"- centric show is on the docket? I am TERRIBLY sorry to any new readers from this- I guess I'll have to use a second show for this one. Luckily, I have a lot of shows on file, about 1 week in-game in reserve beforehand...)

That Dirty, Greedy, No-Good, Entirely Rotten Friend d. Air Paris to retain AWA Global Cruiserweight Title (29, 94, 61)

Homicide d. Matt LaPlaca (25, 80, 52)

After that match occurred, HE showed up near the closet door. I could feel him enter my head...

Alex: (Listen, Tom, I am SO sorry, but...well, I like her, and when she offered herself, I kind of forgot...)

(You Forgot? YOU FORGOT? You used my body to sleep with a girl who the girl I like hates! When you made that happen, you made her dislike me!)

Alex: (I know, I know- I did wrong, I eat shit...)

(I just feel so down right now...I don't know what to do...)

Alex: (Do you want me to take your place in the match?)

(No, I've KIND OF had enough of that for right now...)

Alex: (Sorry...) Just then, a queue headed around including a number of workers...

Teddy: "Ah, young Alex...what is wrong in there?"

Alex: "Um...you know, nothing big- Tom's ready to jump off a bridge..."

Jeff Hardy: "Why would he want to do that? I mean, take it from me- suicide is NOT the answer..."

Jack Evans: "(...) I see...is he all right?"

Alex: "(What's wrong? I'm not getting any brain action...) Yeah- little problem, nothing big..."

"You know, Alex, my lips feel a little loose- I would HATE to say anything big in the midst of my sadness..."

Alex: "Okay, okay- break it up, break it up..." I stayed in the closet while the show continued...

Men From Greece d. Hart Foundation 2k3 (42, 93, 67)

Chance Beckett d. Jerry Lynn (76, 88, 82) After the end of that, I knew it was time for me to go into the ring. I headed out through the crowd for my matchup, hearing the crowd's mixed reaction and feeling just as empty inside. I waited for my opponent as the match occurred...

Harry Potsmoker v. Christopher Daniels

Well, this was much worse than their match was last Saturday...The problem with this match was, where they meshed so well last time, Daniels was the only one on his game tonight. Harry Potsmoker just looked terrible in every manner, and this was just a weak showing by him. It did not look like he was on his game, as the two did not look good. The only plus to this match: Bumps. Lots of bumps. Big bumps by Potsmoker. Lots of big, insane, sick-looking, Dear God is Harry Potsmoker trying to commit suicide out there bumps? Daniels and Potsmoker went into a huge spot-fest after that, which led to some nice bumps going through. Harry Potsmoker finally managed to hit a My Final Heaven on Christopher Daniels from the top rope out of the ring through a table to get the victory (though it looked like he was trying to somersault himself through), then rolled him into the ring to get the three. Pretty weird match, but it seems to be the moment when Tom Goddard goes from being the next Shawn Michaels to being the next Jeff Hardy.

After the match, Goddard put his hands up (while apparently looking out of it), when Robbie Richter came to the ring and took the mic...

Richter: "You know, I think I remember last week, when you said that since Christopher Daniels won a non-title match with Mr.Potsmoker, he's technically number one contender to the East Coast Title...well, doesn't that mean now that Harry Potsmoker is officially the number one contender to Christopher Daniels's World Title again? I think it does...so, Sorry, AWA fans, YOU'RE STUCK WITH US!" The show ended as Richter tried to celebrate while Potsmoker was still out of it...

Over: 75

After the match, I was still unhappy. Apparently, I had gotten back in this feud, and gotten a win over the AWA World Champion- but I was still miserable. I saw some acclaim for some of the bumps I took in the match. I had headed over to Robbie, hoping to score a ride back to Providence- only to have Christopher Daniels come over to me...

Daniels: "STOP RIGHT THERE. Okay, you're coming with me. NOW!" I tried to leave, but Daniels got me into a shoot move, then grabbed me and carried me off into his car before driving off to some undisclosed location.

Well, things just went from bad to worse...

Styk · February 6, 2005

congratulations on the pinning reflecto... i know i should probably post more feedback, but i've been lazy lately... i have been keeping up with the reading though...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · February 6, 2005

<<We couldn't find the place where Tom Goddard was taken to just yet, so we're going right into Raw. We're sorry for the inconvenience.>>

As Raw started, Vince McMahon was in a suite on the mic with the Smackdown Roster behind him:

Vince: "Tonight, I come to Raw in the interest of...shaking things up. You see, I've noticed these brand extensions growing a little...stagnant. There's too many people saying that one show is outdoing the other, and we are not interested in that occurring. Therefore, in the interest of fairness, we've decided to do something that hasn't been tried (in this universe, at least), and will have a Lottery of all the Superstars on each show. 7 men or women from each show will be switching sides on tonight's Raw, so get your last look at them. I have here the General Managers of each show..." Just then, Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman came to the ringside area with two buckets of balls.

Vince: "Workers- choose your first two workers at the same time!" The two GMs proceeded to pick from their buckets. Paul Heyman took the mic...

Heyman: "With our first selection, Smackdown selects...Rosey!" In the back, The Hurricane, Rosey, and Mark Henry- The Strongest MAN! In the WORLD! were sitting as Rosey headed off. Henry told The Hurricane to concentrate on his title match as Eric Bischoff selected...

Bischoff: "With our first selection, Eric Bischoff Presents Monday Night Raw selects: Aw, man...Paul Bearer!" Bearer shook hands with The Undertaker as he headed off from the Smackdown side...

<<WWF Update: Come on, you know all Bearer did was manage The Undertaker- there's nothing major about that...>>

In the ring, Matt Cross was waiting, and he looked to be in horrible shape.

JR: "We've got a Ruthless Aggression Challenge here- the rules are simple- if a worker beats a Raw Superstar, they get a spot on Raw. We've also received word that since they weren't on roster at the beginning of the show, they will NOT be in the lottery if they win." Just then, Kid Romeo headed to the ring and took his spot as the challenger.

(Ruthless Aggression Challenge) Kid Romeo v. Matt Cross

Well, at least this match was a decent way to kick into the Ruthless Aggression Challenge... These two workers put on a decent matchup in the ring, as I've noticed Cross is wont to do despite what seems to be a growing weakness in appearance outside of each show. I'm not sure where they're going with this, but the matches are good so who cares. Kid Romeo was made to look surprisingly good in this one, as JR and The King actually hyped up his experience in WCW's dying days during the whole of the show. The two meshed fairly decently,ending up giving a good opener for the matchup. Matt Cross went up for a Leap of Faith, but slipped on himself and pulled what seemed to be a Jeff Hardy, which Kid Romeo capitalized on for a surprising win to get a spot on Raw. Not a bad matchup...

(55, 82, 68)

After the match, the scene cut to the GMs as they took their second picks from their respective bubbles...

Heyman: "With Smackdown's second pick..." Heyman opened it up. "Oh, I like this one- someone who's after my own heart- someone scrappy, talented, and knows a little bit about getting EXTREME...our second choice is Jazz!" Just then, Jazz headed out of the Raw locker room and over next to Heyman as the scene went to Bischoff...

Bischoff: "Well, our pick can't be less useful than the first-round pick we had...Vince? Can we switch that one...oh, great. Our second pick is...Grand Master Sexay!" Grand Master Sexay sprung up and danced his way out to the ring to take his place with the Raw superstars...

<<Smackdown At-A-Glance: When the WWE rehired Grand Master Sexay in February of 2004, people expected it to be fairly straightforward, and indeed, the moment they debuted GMS with Scotty 2 Hotty on Smackdown to reform Too Cool, it was just another tag team for the division. What people didn't expect was Scotty 2 Hotty to get injured in March (just a few weeks into the team's return), and the WWE's subsequently letting his contract expire in June. With both of these things, Grand Master Sexay soon became one of Smackdown's premiere Jobbers to the Stars, not doing much of note throughout his tenure on SD! Will this change on Raw? Only time will tell...>>

After the break, Matt Cross was seen talking to the camera...

Cross: "It's like...like I don't know what's happening anymore, man...it's like one day, I'm at the top of the world- I'm the hot young rookie phenom, everyone wants a piece of me, and then it's like BAM, everyone drops me like a bad habit, man- I don't know what to think anymore, because I'm high and I'm low and I'm high and I'm low and then one day, I'm waking up and I'm face-down in a banana milkshake and I DON'T...KNOW...HOW...I...GOT THERE, MAN! Can you help me?" The camera then turned to show Chavo Classic standing there.

Chavo: "Hey, mang, I know how you feelin', and I know the cure is nothing more than a little of this- the finest Coke Classic that I gots, mang! Specially made from me to my favorite customer, you know I'm here for you...now will that be cash or stolen credit card, mang?" Chavo Classic passed some Coke Classic to Cross, who was sniffing the air as he left...

(50)

After the break, the GMs were at the front of the stage again...

Heyman: "With my third pick, Smackdown selects...oh, this is a great pick for us...TEST!" Bischoff took the mic...

Bischoff: "Great, great...let's see who our third pick is...." Bischoff looked... "Oh, the third pick for Raw is...Nunzio? Come on, this guy's injured! Who's next- Michael Cole?"

<<At-A-Glance: Nunzio was supposed to be in line for a huge push in the Cruiserweight Division during the 2004 year. However, a problem in the ring led to him getting injured around February of 2004, leaving him out for most of the year and nearly forgotten about during most of the FBI push, nearly eliminated from it following the release of Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli's rise on the show. There is hope, however, as it seems the injury has not affected his stats.>>

After that was shown, the screen faded to static...

V/O: "Attention, viewers of Raw. Do not adjust your TV...

...you are at your luckiest at this moment...

...at this moment, you are closest to being freed from the shackles you've endured...

...you can no longer be bound to stale main events...

...you are NOT what they force you to be...

...you do NOT have to cheer and boo based on what some man decides you do...

...you are NOT a sheep...

...you ARE able to make your own decisions...

...you ARE about to see what it is like to go into the other side of wrestling...

...Open your mind...

...Embrace the Revolution...

...Feel the greatness coming..." The static suddenly stopped and moved into words....

On-Screen:

"JOEY HAMM

Coming Soon..."

(73)

As the vignette ended, the GMs were back on stage as the show continued...

Heyman: "With the fourth pick, Smackdown selects..." Heyman looked slightly upset... "Seven!" Seven was backstage and shook hands with Bane before leaving the room.

Bischoff: "Perfect, perfect, perfect. Finally something happens FOR us in this one. Now, hopefully this will apply to the matchup...Oh, great...With the fourth pick, Eric Bischoff Presents Monday Night Raw selects...Gangrel..." Gangrel headed off to the opposing side of the room as the show continued...

<<At-A-Glance: After impressing at a dark match and a one-shot in the summer, Gangrel was rehired by Smackdown. Once there, he was a Jobber-to-the-stars. There's not much to say beyond that.>>

York and Matthews v. Shannon Moore and Biomonster HOSS

Before the match, Shannon Moore took the mic...

Moore: "HELLO out there, all you lucky people, you! Tonight is SUCH a thrill for me, because it's rare when things like this occur for my favor. You see, the sweethearts here on Raw have decided to do me, Raw's CUTEST Diva, Shannon Moore, a match with my Good, Good friends, York and Matthews! Now, I KNOW you boys remember all those good times we've had together- all the WONDERFUL nights we spent...alone...on the road...just you two, me...Alexis... it was just SOOO wonderful a time! But oh, I've gone and ruined all of my MANY fans' image of me- I know they didn't expect such words from a pure, wholesome, beautiful lady such as myself..." However, Moore couldn't get much more out as York and Matthews attacked him viciously as the match started.

Well, this was a surprisingly good match. Even with how poorly Moore and Biomonster HOSS merged, the match was awesome to boot. The two teams managed to put on a decent show for the most part, using some surprisingly nice moves. Shannon Moore seems to be blowing up in his current gimmick, which led to some nice comedy spots here, while York and Matthews were just amazing in the ring as always. York and Matthews's experience gave them the advantage here, as they dazzled Moore and HOSS with double-team moves. Biomonster HOSS attacked Christian York and , Alexis Laree ran in and hit him with a Hurricanrana, while Christian York hit Shannon Moore with an Ace Crusher to get the three count. After the match, York and Matthews celebrated as the show went back to the GMs...

(69, 89, 79)

Heyman: "And with the fifth pick in the draft, Smackdown selects...Oh, this is good- TITO ORTIZ!" Tito Ortiz headed off from the Raw locker room as Bischoff took the mic...

Bischoff: "And with my fifth pick, Eric Bischoff Presents Monday Night Raw selects...oh, great...Sean O'Haire!" Sean O'Haire left the locker room as Raw continued.

After the break, Tito Ortiz took the mic...

Ortiz: "If I'm supposed to go to Smackdown, I want to go out fighting. I challenge any Raw guy to come out here and give me one last match!" Just then, Collyer-3000 came down to the ring...

Collyer-3000: "You...Say...any...Man...but what...about...MACHINE? I am Collyer-3000...I am the world's most advanced fighting machine...You will fear my vast array of technical holds and counters, mortal!" (wOw Memorial for Dummies: A quick reminder for new readers coming from this diary's pinning: You may notice a number of Wrestlecrap-worthy gimmicks from this diary. The reason is simple: Reflecto and his team of assistants have been determined, by the people who read the entirety of the whacked Out wrestling mythos, to be on crack. Large amounts of crack. Enough crack to make Jake Roberts look like CM Punk. We are psycho and we admit it. Thank you, and pleasant reading.)

Collyer-3000 v. Tito Ortiz

Now, this was a disappointing matchup. These two workers didn't manage to mesh as well as I had hoped that they would, considering Ortiz's MMA skill and Collyer's skill at technical wrestling. However, this match was pretty much par for the course, leading to a poor endout by how good these two are supposed to be. The match's average nature basically went through, finally ending as Collyer-3000 locked Tito Ortiz in a nice Texas Cloverleaf (which the announcers sold as the CodeBreaker) to get the victory and send Ortiz to Smackdown in shame. Whatever...

(62, 77, 69)

After the break, the GMs came out to the ring and took the mics again...

Heyman: "Oh, this is good...with our sixth pick, Smackdown selects...Bane!" Bane headed over to the Smackdown side, where he shook hands with Seven as it continued...

Bischoff: "Fine, fine...with OUR Sixth pick, Eric Bischoff presents Monday Night Raw presents...oh, this is good...BILLY KIDMAN!" Kidman headed out of the Smackdown side and over to Raw as the show continued...

<<wOw Memorial Recap: Billy Kidman has been one of the more respectable workers on the Cruiserweight Division for Smackdown in the recent months. Kidman spent most of the year tagging with fellow cruiserweight Paul London, but the surprising release of London by the WWE in late September had led Kidman to get a fairly decent singles push, and had made him get close on a few occasions to the Cruiserweight Title. Now on Raw, will he be able to keep the momentum going?>>

AJ Styles v. Shane Goddard

Before the match, Shane Goddard took the mic...

Goddard: "You know something, fans- I kind of realized something the last couple weeks. I heard all the fans cheering me as I fought like hell to try and get that Intercontinental Title- well, until that little wuss Rico stole the belt...and then, last week, I heard all those fans cheering as I went into the HEART of SUPERSTAR! Country, and took the World Tag Team Titles...CAN I HEAR YOU SHOUT, PEOPLE!" The crowd cheered. "After that, I realized...damn, getting cheered is fun! So Styles, be prepared to feel the ultimate power of this one, because Evolution may run Raw, but not one of you....is a..." The crowd chanted along, "SUPERSTAR!"

Match: Well, this match was awesome. I knew Styles was good, but I never thought Shane Goddard would mesh as well with him as he did. Regardless, this match was an amazing show for the skill seen in it. The two workers managed to put on a good show in the ring, using a nice skill for the whole of the match. Eventually, Rico ran into the ring and attacked Shane Goddard with a nicely-placed IC title shot, sending him down and allowing AJ Styles to get the victory. After the match, Goddard took a mic...

Goddard: "You may think you've won this time, Rico, but be warned: While we were back at home, I managed to get in touch with someone I'm really, really close with...someone who's a bit of a...Magical Boy, if you will, and he should be here any day now!"

(74, 90, 82)

As the next match started, a full funk band was in-play (featuring what my sources told me was OVW worker Sean Casey in one of the positions) as Mark Henry, The STRONGEST MAN! In the WORLD! (No, really- that's how they wanted people to say it...) came to the ring for his matchup and waited for his opponent. Just then, the band continued as Viscera came down the ramp and took the mic...

Viscera: "HEY HEY HEY! Big Viscera's back to win today! Now, Mizark Henry, you may be the strongest MAN! In the WORLD! and all, but I'm right here to tell you how strength can't solve all yo' problems! Now let's get this show on the road!"

<<Meanwhile, somewhere in Rhode Island, while this match was going on...>>

Steve Evans: "No, baby, I swear, this is a good thing. You see, you are VERY special to me, and you KNOW I would only do something like this with someone I truly care about..."

Ring Rat: "You...you mean it, Stevie?"

Evans: "Sure thing, baby...now, are you willing to do this?"

Ring Rat: "I...I guess...if it's for you, Stevie..."

<<The Redemption Crew has censored the rest of this vignette, to be replaced by...a Mark Henry/Viscera match. Yeah, we're evil like that. Wanna fight about it?>>

(61)

Mark Henry, the Strongest Man! In the World! v. Big Viscera

WHEN NEW INDY SLEAZE-ESQUE GIMMICKS COLLIDE~! I am still unsure why they would work either of these gimmicks. If these are the WWE current gimmicks, the creative team needs to seek professional help. Memphis, Providence, Vince Russo, and 100 crackheads at 100 typewriters couldn't come up with gimmicks like these (Fat Albert? Artie, the Strongest Man in the World? WTF?) To add to this, the match was...well, a Mark Henry/Viscera match, so it wasn't like it would even be decent besides the point. Large amounts of Fat Guy offense followed, as the match was the ultimate piss-break. Mark Henry- The Strongest MAN! In the WORLD! got the win following a nice Gorilla Press Slam on Big Viscera, but the fans lost. Get this match to the type of weird showing that it belongs at, and keep it off our TVs...

(57, 51, 55)

After the break, the GMs came up for one final round of drafting and took the mics...

Heyman: "With our final selection, Smackdown selects...Rodney Mack!" Rodney Mack left the ring to head over to the Smackdown side of it as Eric Bischoff selected...

Bischoff: "Well, let's see now...who's next...with our final selection, Eric Bischoff Presents Monday Night Raw selects...Jorge Estrada!" Jorge Estrada left and headed to the Raw side as the show went to break...

<<At-A-Glance: When the WWE decided to put more focus on its cruiserweight division, Jorge Estrada was one of the many high-profile signings they made to bolster the division. The former NWATNA superstar had gained some minor pops on Velocity due to his modern-day Honky Tonk Man gimmick, but those soon were relegated to the same level most WWE cruiserweights were- i.e. just another worker. >>

(INTERCONTINENTAL)Rico v. Batista

Well, this was a poor match...seriously, why is Batista still...oh, wait, he's part of Evolution. My mistake...These two workers just didn't have what it took to mesh in the ring, a surprise due to Rico's recent great showings for the past few months. Batista didn't have that, going into generic big guy attack mode throughout the matchup. Rico fought back with some nice martial arts, and proceeded to take the advantage. Miss Jackie managed to distract Batista for just long enough for Rico to get a Spin Kick on Batista, allowing him to get the win and retain the title. After the match, Rico celebrated in the ring.

(56, 73, 64)

(WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT) Triple H v. The Hurricane

Well, this was a surprising potential MOTN. Say what you want about Triple H, but he's really worked his ass off to make The Hurricane look like a potential top face for Raw. These two workers put on a very good match for free TV, and managed to make it look good. The Hurricane bumped like a champ for Triple H, while Triple H managed just enough offense to make The Hurricane look good. Triple H then proceeded to take the advantage on Hurricane, and the match went to normal stuff: KICK, WHAM, PEDIGREE~! However, when Triple H was going for a pin, Chris Candido ran out from the stands and clocked Triple H with a chair, then placed The Hurricane on top of him! The referee counted the three...Excuse me as I mark out for a moment...HOLY SHIT, THE HURRICANE JUST BEAT TRIPLE H FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! I saw The Hurricane celebrate with the World Title as Triple H looked pissed. Some security guards went after Candido, who broke free of them and took the mic...

(88, 84, 86)

Candido: "Hey, Triple H! Remember me? Oh, wait, you and your Kliq would probably know me as Skip, that fitness instructor guy who's career you ruined! Once, I was the hottest prospect in wrestling, but after you and your friends got done with me, I was left a bum! I had to sit and watch as me and my talent was left working in second-rate indy feds while you, who's only talent was to find the right people to make friends with, got main events for no apparent reason! Now, I'm tired of waiting for you to be found out. That's why, the first chance I got, I made sure to come here and take the one thing that you loved most- that World Title. Now, I'm in control of your destiny- and a few friends of mine who you and your friends screwed with will be coming back to make sure that you fall to earth like you were supposed to!"

(67)

Over: 68

kale · February 6, 2005

Congrats on the pin Reflecto. One of the things I enjoy most about this diary is that it just doesn't cover one fed but multiples with interesting storylines going on.

Also, thumbs up for making Hurricane the champ. I'm a big Helms mark:)

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · February 7, 2005

I came to in a random building that appeared to be a warehouse. I could feel some ropes tying me up to the chair, keeping me bound. The song "Stuck in the Middle with You" was playing as I saw Christopher Daniels was in front of me...

Daniels: "Great. You're up. Now, I brought you here because I need to talk to you..."

"You're not going to kill me for Court, are you? I don't wanna die- dying stings..."

Daniels: "Will you get over yourself? I need to talk to you on our last match. You dropped the ball, and this was the only way I could get you to come with me..."

"Okay...you kidnapped me to go over our match?"

Daniels: "I need to do it. I pride myself on ALWAYS being in complete control out there. When I'm in that ring, I run the show- the match, the people watching, they all are in my hands. It's not unreasonable for me to expect the same from my opponent, is it?"

"No..."

Daniels: "Therein lies the problem, Tommy...when you were out there Monday, I could tell by the look in your eyes- you were in pain. You didn't let that pain go when you went into the ring with me, and you were not in complete control of the situation. The match suffered. There's a bunch of people now who will think the first time they saw Harry Potsmoker and Christopher Daniels in the ring, they were good, but they couldn't match it the second time out- that we were one-trick ponies. Do you SEE how that's a problem with me?"

"But...but why go this far? Why not wait to talk to me?"

Daniels: "I need to go further with you...because I see myself in you. Do you remember the Super-8? Court told me to, and I quote, 'break that little punk if you need to for MLW.' Most workers wouldn't work well in it. Psicosis, Silva- they curled up like little bitches once I broke their collarbones. But you- you finished the match, and fought like hell to keep the match going, doing spots on broken ankles and all. You showed me something I rarely see in workers your age. That's why I knew I was working with a superstar in the making. Now look at the results until now. You may have pulled some stunts- but you proceeded to turn that stunt into a gimmick that's making all of us a LOT of money. Those fans either love you, or love to hate you. You proved even when you don't have control of yourself, you can get control back and become a legend in the making."

"Thank...thank you, Mr.Daniels..."

Daniels: "If you want to thank me, you'd be better off learning some ways to keep your emotions in check. You didn't have your emotions in check Monday, and a true champion needs to be as cool as the other side of the pillow- to make sure that no matter what, THEY control the situation- not the fans, and especially not their problems. Can you do that?"

"I'll try..."

Daniels: "Don't try. Small-timers try. Champions DO."

"Okay. I WILL do it. Now, can you untie me- perhaps give me a ride to Nashville for the TNA Xplosion tapings?"

Daniels: "Um- you're already here. It's Wednesday night- you've got a night before the show."

"Okay then...thanks."

Daniels: "No problem. I was visiting friends- they say you've got a segment, and that you'll have to work your own stuff to the music they'll lay down- okay?" Yikes. This is a problem. I have to write a song, the lackey for my arch-nemesis is pushing me harder, the girl I'm slowly falling for hates my guts, and my stock's risen so much that I really only have two years left before WWE snatches me up and I have to face the music- before I have to tell her how I feel or say goodbye...

Wait a minute...I think I have my inspirado, if you will...

NWATNA XPlosion

Jason Cross v. CarWreck

Before the match, Jason Cross took the mic...

Cross: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is a travesty of nature. I mean, they're putting me in the ring with one of those...those vicious Gathering members, and expect me to put my X-Title on the line! I think you can all see that this is totally unfair! I mean, it should be obvious by now that every person in NWATNA has it in for me! If Jerry Lynn was holding this title, then he wouldn't have to defend the belt, period! If Amazing Red held the belt, they'd never put CarWreck against him..."The crowd started booing..."and if Chris Sabin held the belt, I bet you all would be cheering right now!" Just then, CarWreck came to the ring to a scattering of cheers as the match started...

Match: Well, this was not what you'd expect from an X-Division match. The match was decent, but missed that certain thing X-Matches tend to have. It's hard to tell what that thing is, only that this match didn't have it, whatever it was. The two didn't really mesh that great, and the crowd was pretty bored (a shame, as I've noticed Jason Cross usually getting a lot of heat for his gimmick.) Cross CHEATED TO WIN~!, which was expectable for a heel like him, getting the victory here. Needed a little help to really get going, but wasn't too bad for the most part.

(55, 79, 67)

After the break, Altar Boy Luke's video aired, only spliced with the sound "THE MESSIAH HAS COME!" as the team headed to the ring for their matchup. America's Most Wanted's theme then hit, as we had a match!

Messiah and Altar Boy Luke v. America's Most Wanted

Well, this was a poor matchup. I was shocked- America's Most Wanted usually come with some really good matches when they're here. This match might have been the result of the new nature of their opponents- teams always need a few matches to gel. However, the match was piss-poor despite the reasoning, so who cares about that? Messiah and Altar Boy Luke got a large amount of the offense, taking it to the experienced AMW. Finally, The Messiah got the win following an attack by a new Altar Boy (who I was told was Altar Boy Luke's teammate, Altar Boy Matthew), giving the new team a win to start. After the match, the two Altar Boys kneeled down in the ring as The Messiah posed.

(54, 75, 64)

After the break, I could hear the callout for my group's stuff. The crew set our things up in the middle of the ring as we proceeded to head out...

Meltzer: "Now we've got a huge treat for our fans- the debut of Team America2's new single!"

Richter: "Yeah...great...whatever...do I HAVE to watch this?"

Meltzer: "Aww...you know you want to..."

Richter: "If the answer is 'see these punks fall flat on their face, then I guess so..." I looked at Jocelyn, only to see her turn away. I hoped this would help on the apology, but I knew there was very little chance. I thought of Christopher's advice as I took the mic and looked at her while trying to block out the thoughts...

"HEY, HEY! This here's EVERYONE'S favorite singer, Tom Goddard, leading EVERYONE'S favorite band, the US-2!" I heard the others shout the name behind me with the last part. "Now, this is a special song...I wrote the lyrics while thinking of the one I love, a very special woman..." As I was looking right towards the (still-not looking) Jocelyn, I heard a few uber-smarks going "OOOOOH..." to that one as I continued, changing my gaze towards my teammate for the feud in Jayce... "...but I THOUGHT of the lyrics while making love to a very special man!" The crowd gave us MASSIVE cheap heat from that one, as I knew I had them in the palm of my hands...

"Okay, hit it!" A teen pop-esque beat occurred in the background as I started singing...

<<Two Years

By: US-2

Written by: T.Goddard

Produced by: T.Greene, J.Steele>>

Matthews: "Uh...yeah...

US-2 gonna rock your house,

US-2 gonna rock your house..."

Hillstead: "Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest new act in the world, Team US-2, yo!"

Simmons: "Kickin' it live from the 401, here's the new sound blastin' through all you inbred hicks' radios- tell them what it is, G!"

Goddard: "Let's roll...

I know it seems retarded,

but I loved you so long I can't remember how it started...

Now we're on the verge,

of our lives' potential hitting a power surge...

Now I know for sure

I came down with a sickness and your love's the cure...

Gotta set this right

Because if I know I'm primed to break out, then I know it's time to fight...

And now,

It's becoming very clear

Soon we'll be bound to leave here and move on, this fact is plain to see...

So if that's

The only thing I can know

Then it's time to take control...

Because I've only got 2 years to make you love me,

only 2 years to make you love me...

This time seems too short,

but I loved you 16 years, I can sure as hell wait a couple more

I know it seems too soon,

But I've seen too many others coming up and trying to make a play for you...

I may not know for sure if you're digging me,

but this time the course of action has never been so plain to see...

That now,

the only thing I know for sure

Is that my feelings are the same evermore, I've always known that you're the only one my heart sees...

And if this feeling is so true

That my heart belongs to you...

Then I've only got 2 years to make you love me...

only 2 years to make you love me...

This feeling's too much for me to endure

Gotta do it sooner, I can't wait another 24....

All I want in life is dangling in front of me,

But if it comes without you, that would be just too much of a fee...

So why,

do I have to wait this long,

My feelings are so much more than Strong, it's a fact,

That without you by my side, I will never be truly free...

And now it's time for me to start,

Got to find the way to win your heart....

'Cause I only got 2 years to make you love me,

only 2 years to make you love me,

Give me 2 years and I'll make you love me." I heard a scattering of pops to the huge amount of boos as the show went to break...

Meltzer: "Can you believe the audacity of those US-2 punks to take control of our show like that?"

Richter: "Yeah- whatever. I don't care who, er, what those guys do anyway..."

Hollywood Inc. v. The Gathering

Before the match, Lee Handsome took the mic...

"This, um, will be, er, a great match, uh, for everyone to see? You see, you're getting, um, to see me, uh, the best wrestler in the world! There's, um, no one better than me? Everyone, uh, um, sucks compared to me? Oh yeah- except for my teammate! Um, uh, Joey Idol?

Match: Well, this was exactly what I expected from this match. The Gathering still hasn't gelled together, and I'm not sure if they can. Meanwhile, Hollywood Inc...sucked, as usual. I'm not sure if it's comedy or what, but Lee Handsome has less skill in the ring than my dead grandmother. Even though Joey Idol's a great worker, this match was horrid as a result. Lee Handsome kept botching every move including bumping for a little bit, before making a tag (which looked more like a slap) to Joey Idol, who was a TALENTED WORKER AFIRE~!, proceeding to lay out both members of The Gathering. However, after a couple Kaostrifys to the two, Joey Idol left the ring, grabbing the mic...

Idol: "I DON'T NEED TO SHOW YOU PEOPLE ANYMORE OF THIS- I PROVED I'M THE BEST IN THE WORLD!"

With this going on, Lee Handsome hit a backwards pin on Chris Hamrick, getting the victory for his team! Handsome then took the mic...

Handsome: "You see that! You see that! I, um, proved I'm the bestest worker, uh, cause I win and stuff! This proves, um, I rule! And you all, um, suck?"

(53, 75, 64)

(WORLD) Jeff Jarrett v. Ron Killings

Well, this was a rare totally awesome matchup for Jeff Jarrett...I don't know what it is, but he's really been putting on excellent matches as of late in the ring. Maybe it was using certain things to protect him, but this has looked really good for the most part. Ron Killings looked more like the main eventer he was supposed to be built up as in TNA than the midcard comedic gimmick that he was given currently, which was a plus to this. One decent spot that worked involved Jarrett and Killings each grabbing their respective Title and trying to hit the other, with the titles clashing and sending both down. Jeff Jarrett got up at 6, but Tom Goddard proceeded to run in and clock Killings with a Standing Moonsault, keeping him down past the 10 count and giving Jarrett the win. After the match, Jarrett and Goddard beat down Ron Killings, until Jerry Lynn ran in to help save Killings from the beating. The faces proceeded to attack the two before shaking hands as the show ended.

(82, 86, 84)

Over: 71

Meanwhile, after this show ended, Jocelyn Richter was on the warpath, hunting down Lollipop backstage. Finally, she managed to track her down in the showerroom <<BLATANT FANSERVICE>>

("So, you sold out for the girls reading, now you're selling out for the guys?"

NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!

"Yeah, yeah...Mr.Capitalist Gets Pinned for the first time and throws nude scenes in to get his male fans all hot and bothered...BAKA...I remember when it was all about the story..."

IT STILL IS ABOUT THE STORY, and like I said, ZIPIT! ZIPIT...ZIPIT!)

Jocelyn: "So, Lollipop...nice seeing you on your feet, instead of your back..."

Lollipop: "Well, well, well, the little ice princess finally is willing to fight."

Jocelyn: "Save the chit-chat. Why'd you do that last week."

Lollipop: "Aww...awe oo mad I swept wif oor widdle boyfwiend?"

Jocelyn: "He is NOT my boyfriend, dammit! (Yeah...he's not...)"

Lollipop: "Well, it's your own fault, you know- if you had just been the good little girl and agreed to go into the cage while I was given the promotion I deserved, I wouldn't have had to do this."

Jocelyn: "So that's it. It's all about that stupid promotion. Look- they hired me. I have, you know, experience? Skill? A decent-enough rapport with Meltzer to make it work?"

Lollipop: "None of that means shit. Do you know WHAT I had to do in order to get promised that job, and then you come in like a carpetbagger and take it from me? Who'd you blow for that?"

Jocelyn: "I'm sorry, I'm not the one doing any form of sucking here- that was filled up in your test show..."

Lollipop: "Well, those were the breaks. You HAD to take the spot I deserved. I had to take your man. It's only fair, after all...Toodles. Here's hoping we can do this again sometime..." Lollipop reached in and kissed Jocelyn as she left <<BLATANT FANSERVICE>>, only to have Jocelyn proceed to attack her, sending out a huge CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!<</Joey Styles>>. After a short time, Jocelyn took the advantage, proceeding to stretch Lollipop into submission.

Jocelyn: "Remember this for the future, bitch- I've been trained in wrestling since you were nailing your elementary school teacher- don't even THINK about fucking with me!" Jocelyn left Lollipop lying there as she left for home...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · February 8, 2005

AWA: Major League Wrestling

The Headhunters v. The Ballard Brothers

Well, this was a vaguely decent match to start the show. It seems like both of these workers aren't used as much as they would theoretically be (AWA is desperate for tag teams that "they" have, leading to competitors for the Men From Greece that are actually, you know, talented...) These two teams put on a decent enough match- or at least, one that doesn't cause harm to watch it. They meshed well enough, the match was good enough, and it was all somehow decent for the show. The Headhunters attacked Shane Ballard, then hit a Double Fat Guy Splash on him to get the big victory- meaning they'll be the next underneath team to be fed to the Men from Greece.

(39, 79, 59)

Air Paris v. Bobby Quance

Why aren't these guys used more often? I'm sorry, but AWAMLW needs to seed its cruiserweight division, and it seemed like these two would be a good place to start with it. When most of the cruiserweights you push end up skyrocketing to huge names in the federation (see: Beckett, Potsmoker, et al.), you need to make sure that there's more to take up the division when they do get elevated. These two proved that they belong in the thick of things, putting on a decent matchup for the whole of the situation. Air Paris got the victory in the match following a nice Moonsault on Quance, which seemed to make some sense- I had heard they were thinking of pushing Air Paris, but haven't gotten around to it because the booker's a lazy bastard who books to shiny things...

(41, 85, 63)

After the break, a setup was made for a Lingerie Pillow Fight as Ariel and Kari-Chan headed down to the ring, getting ready for the "match"

(Lingerie Pillow Fight) Kari-Chan v. Ariel

Oh, Dear Yevon, do I really have to review these? They're all the same exact style as far as workrate goes, and that is "t3h suxx0rz!" This was no exception, as AWAMLW took two untrained workers, threw them in the ring, and gave them pillows to go after each other. Who even gets hot looking at these things, anyway? Anyway, the match was simple: They attack each other with pillows, roll around a little bit, Kari-Chan pulls off the victory, blah blah blah. Horrid match, and only served to waste people's time.

(41, 20, 34)

Meanwhile, after the match, I was still feeling a little down. I knew I had angles to work with tonight, so I just waited as Alex came over with his (apparent) buddy Austin...

Alex: "So...you still mad at me?"

"Yes. Yes I am. I think I have the right to be..."

Alex: "Listen- I think I can help you out with this little problem that you had. Tomorrow, I'll do that thing, you can talk to Jocelyn, everything will be fine- okay? Okay..." Just then, I saw Kari-Chan rush over out of the corner of my eyes and glomp me.

Alex: "You might not want to do that, Kari- Tom's not having a good day...(Should I go for this tomorrow?)"

Kari-Chan: "Awww...Tommy-kun's sad? Well, that's easy for me to fix- I'll cheer you up quick, yeppers!" Kari-Chan began glomping me more and harder as I continued to feel down.

Austin: "So...Kari, is it?"

Kari-Chan: "Yeppers! What'd ya want to know?"Austin looked at her and spoke...

Austin: "Will you...bear my child?"

Kari-Chan: "Oh, that is so cute! I can't of course- how could I face my beloved Tommy-kun if I did something so...so rash as that? It would be evil and hurtful and I could never ever ever do that..."

Alex: "(They're probably going to be a while...I've got to get ready for my match. Just tell me when you want me to switch tomorrow and I'll do it...)"

"(...Whatever.)" I headed back to the Gorilla position as Kari-Chan was still giving reasons to Austin, preparing for the angles I'd be in...

After the break, Court H. Bauer came to the ring and took a mic.

Bauer: "Ladies and gentlemen, last Monday, we were the victim of a vicious attack in the form of a technicality. Due to some...legal mumbo-jumbo, that...that charlatan Harry Potsmoker is back as the number-one contender to OUR AWA World Title. This is something that is a dagger into the heart of AWA, and should be the same to all of our fans. Well, this is something that I am pleased to say is going to be fixed post-haste. You see, I did some research through our ranks, and it seems that there's a loophole in our favor as well. You see, the rules of our relationship with that...lesser fed from Providence states that we have to recognize the wOw Champion as our East Coast Champion. However, we checked, and it NEVER said we had to recognize the wOw WORLD Champion as our East Coast Champion. Therefore, I would like to announce that as of today, the wOw Transcontinental Champion will be recognized as our AWA East Coast Champion, and hereby give to you your NEW East Coast titleholder, HOMICIDE!" Homicide came out to the ring and was handed the East Coast title belt by Court H. Bauer, then took the mic.

Homicide: "YO YO! Finally, this title be in the hands of someone who shows some RESPECT to da Midwest-Side, yo! AWA-WHAT?"

(65)

Alex Shelley v. Jack Evans

Special guest writer: Alex Shelley:

(Well, this should be a good one. I know Jack is a decent worker, so we should be able to kick some serious boo-tay together. I'm just hoping to find out some reasons why I never get brainwave functions from him- that should be somewhat decent matchup here. I saw him put on some of those nice flippy moves that get the crowd fired up (why can't he learn the skills of a nice submission matchup?), and proceeded to match him with my best stuff. I heard the crowd grow from "blah" into a fever pitch from what we pulled off, so we were doing things right for this one. I tried to find a certain spot to talk to Jack, but he was too busy doing nice moves to get through it. Finally, he looked a little blown up, so I slowed down the match with a reverse chinlock to get some answers...)

"Um, you know- I was wondering. I didn't happen to see you thinking a little while back, and don't pick up brain waves from you- why is that?" (Jack thought a bit, then I saw him disappear from the ring for a second, shocking me. When I next came to, I was pinned, and the match was done.)

Meanwhile, outside of Alex Shelley's head...

The match ending was pretty cool, as Shelley locked Evans in a nice reverse chinlock and worked it. However, Evans proceeded to fight his way out with ease (so fast even my VCR couldn't pick it up) and hit Shelley with a schoolboy to get the pin and the title. Not bad, and the ending was fairly cool...

(53, 99, 76)

The Men From Greece v. The Johnsons

Well, this was surprisingly solid. I guess it is true- the Men From Greece are miracle workers, no matter what way you slice it. The two did what I thought was impossible and managed to make The Johnsons look tolerable in the ring. The team managed to put on a good match, for the most part. The match was too short for my tastes, however- mostly the result of Richard Johnson attempting to hit a Powerslam on Nico- only to be unable to lift him completely, dropping Nico right on his shoulder, dislocating it pretty badly. A quick-enough cover was made to show that the injury was most definitely legit, as The Johnsons got the titles by default.

(50, 80, 65)

After the break, a set was in the middle of the ring as Bret Hart was sitting there...

Ariel: "Now, it's time for the 'Bret Hart Whines About Montreal Show'! Here's your host, Bret 'The Hitman' Hart!"

Hart: "Thank you, thank you...tonight, we've got one of our most special episodes out there. I've been given the great opportunity to speak with the independent scene's two brightest superstars tonight following a week of great matches between the two. With that in mind, I give you, the AWAMLW World Heavyweight Champion, Christopher Daniels, and the number one contender to that title, Harry Potsmoker!" Daniels and Potsmoker came out from different sides and sat accordingly.

Daniels: "Thank you for the invitation, Mr. Hart- it's an honor to be here..."

Potsmoker: "Yeah, yeah...thanks, Bret..."

Hart: "Now, you two seem to have taken this feud to whole new levels in the last few weeks. Could you explain exactly why you hate each other so much?"

Daniels: "Well, Harry Potsmoker represents, in my opinion, everything that has ever been wrong with professional wrestling. He is the prototypical young punk who got everything handed to him on a silver platter, never struggled a day to get to a level where he can connect with the fans, and is now just trying to take down everything that's good about the AWA. We are the federation of technical wizardry, of traditions dating back for years, of a higher standard than gimmickry..."

Potsmoker: "...of pushing old geezers and their friends to the top because one of them has the book?"

Daniels: "Wow, look here! Potsmoker's calling the kettle black, ladies and gentlemen! Which federation do you come out of, Mister I'll-be-pushed-as-long-as-I'm-the-Son-of-the-Booker's-old-buddy?"

Potsmoker: "Better than earning my push in a restroom stall with Court H. Bauer- finally willing to play the game instead of getting cups of coffee for major feds, eh, Chrissy boy?"

Daniels: "Arrogant little jackass!"

Potsmoker: "Second-rater!"

Hart: "I see there's some problems here. Now, Harry- can you tell me your problems with Mr. Daniels?"

Potsmoker: "Well, it's simple. He hates me and my team because we have something he doesn't. Christopher Daniels...is old. He's been on the scene for over 10 years and hasn't gotten the major call anywhere but here. Me and my fellow Death Eaters...are young, with an average age in our early-twenties. We have many good years ahead of us, meaning it is not unlikely you'll see us in the WWE before our careers end. He resents us because he's jealous of us. He knows that we'll be superstars when he's off selling used cars somewhere and reliving his good old days in some godforsaken VFW hall with other people who'll never get their own action figures..."

Daniels: "Not if I end your career myself first, you little punk..."

Hart: "Well, I see. Well, I would have to say that the AWA Title is going to have a ruthless feud for itself...anything else to say, fellows?"

Daniels: "No thanks, it was nice seeing you, Mr.Hart!"

Hart: "And you, Mr. Potsmoker?"

Potsmoker: "I just follow the lead of my close personal friend Finale and close saying the immortal words: YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT!" Bret Hart got pissed as the Potsmoker fans started chanting along, and gave a signal to Daniels, who proceeded to attack Potsmoker viciously as the show ended...

(91)

Dustin Rhodes v. Vader

Well, this was a fairly decent matchup. The two proved there was still a lot left in their tanks, as they managed to put on a decent showing in the ring. The two's power stylings led to a fairly decent match for the most part. Vader took an early advantage, brutalizing Dustin Rhodes with some nice power moves. Seeing a position, however, Rhodes took the advantage and headed to the outside, grabbing a chair and bringing it in with the intent to cause mayhem.Rhodes managed to come in with the chair and attack Vader (with the AWAMLW ref turning a blind eye.) Just when this was too much, Vader grabbed Rhodes and attacked, hitting him with a vicious Powerbomb to the outside of the ring. Vader then grabbed a baseball bat and attacked Rhodes on the outside. Unfortunately, the ref caught Vader doing this and called for a DQ! After that occurred, Vader grabbed the bat and broke it over Rhodes's head as the show went to break...

(81, 75, 79)

After the break, Harry Potsmoker and Christopher Daniels were in Court H. Bauer's office with Bret Hart looking over.

Bauer: "Now, you two have to realize. For some reason, your match is going to be a big ticket matchup for AWAMLW. That's why, I've made it a point to tell you both. For the first part, I've made it official. In TWO WEEKS, there will be one last time, Potsmoker/Daniels in that very ring for the AWAMLW World Title. The matches will be known to both of you the night of the show. However, I can't have you two go around attacking each other on Bret Hart's show- he's a legend!"

Hart: "I haven't felt so used since VINCE MCMAHON SCREWED ME!"

Bauer: "That's why I hate to do this, but I've got a contract I've got to have both of you sign. This waiver is necessary to keep the match as pure as possible. This will keep the two of you from laying a hand on each other until your match in two weeks. If Harry Potsmoker lays a hand on Christopher Daniels, his match is cancelled, and, oh yeah- since you don't have that East Coast Title to worry about- you'll be fired! And if Christopher Daniels lays a hand on Harry Potsmoker before the match, he will be stripped of the title, to be held up for a battle royal to take place in two weeks instead. Now, sign..." Christopher Daniels signed quickly, while Potsmoker took a slight amount of time before signing.

Bauer: "Perfect...I just LOVE how impulsive youth can be. You really should have read the contract, Potsmoker...you see, the contract really does say your stipulations, to be fair...however, and this is the fun part...for Christopher Daniels's stipulations, it marks...Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! Daniels can do whatever the hell he wants to you for the next two weeks, and if you lay one hand on him, you're out of AWAMLW!" Christopher Daniels then proceeded to attack Harry Potsmoker, then laugh with Court H. Bauer as the show ended...

(93)

Over: 73

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · February 8, 2005

After the AWA show ended, Alex Shelley was wondering how to get to the TNA show. Having received some problems getting a ride due to that unfortunate problem of stealing his usual driving buddy's body and using it to sleep with a girl, getting him in trouble with the girl he liked tended to leave him with some problems getting to the show in time. Having exhausted a number of options, he simply decided to do the best idea possible- talk to his little sister...

Black: "ONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN! What do you need me to do for you?"

Alex: "Just stop time a little bit, allow me the chance to get to the TNA show while I'm trying to get to the show?"

Black: "Sure thing, Onichan!" The girl proceeded to put her hands to her head and freeze up, allowing the two plenty of time to get to the show. Once there, Raven unfroze time as Alex proceeded to look around for our regular hero.

Alex: "I don't see them around anywhere..." Just then, Alex saw Lollipop going towards the women's dressing room. "....However, I think I'll manage just fine..." Alex proceeded to work his way towards Lollipop, fighting a strange mental crosswind and his sister's rampant "ONICHAN NO BAKA!" shouting towards him. Eventually, he turned a corner and managed to free himself, then made his way over to Lollipop...

Alex: "So...um, uh, well, what's been going on?"

Lollipop: "Nothing much, I guess..."

Alex: "So, um, I wanted to say, um, that last time we were together, was, um, Awesome...I can't wait to do it again..."

Lollipop: "Wait a minute...I don't THINK I've done anything with you..."

Alex: "But...but last Sunday...you and I...I was there..."

Lollipop: "Who the hell are you, anyway? Perv!" Lollipop slapped him as Raven headed over to him...

Black: "That should've taught you, Onichan- non-psychic girls will always break your heart! Not like me, I'll stay feeling this way forever..." Just then, Alex looked really down, as if he was ready to go all emo on people and stuff...

Alex: "Excuse me...I've got a match to wrestle..." Alex left, the patter of his boots hitting the ground helping to muffle the sound of his teardrops falling...

...Just then, the author was wrestled out of his seat by Tom Goddard, who took control of the persona-level because while this scene may be nice,and indeed a tad sad, this is supposed to be MY diary with MY thoughts! Mine Mine Mine!

I proceeded to get to the show late, the result of a mixture of slow-speed driving and the feeling like time stood still for just a bit. I tried to find Alex, only managing to find his little sister roaming around the halls. I would have talked to her, but she was calling out for her brother in a way that I assume would have been cute if it happened to me...until I realized what a man-beast my sister was, and shuddered at the thought like if I had walked in on Bob Ryder running through character development with Greg. Instead, I positioned myself at the Gorilla position and prepared to watch the show...

NWA: Total Nonstop Action PPV

Five Star Attraction v. The Peacemakers

Well, this match seemed...blah. There's just a point in time when the match just seems to be just there, and everyone is just going through the motions. Right now, this is the weakness of these teams. Five Star Attraction seemed to be just pulling off some nice moves in their matches and hoping their manager could pull off the charisma, neglecting to remember that Kriss Sprules has all the charisma of gravel and all the heat of X-Pac. Usually, The Peacemakers could pull that to a good conclusion, but even that failed to work this time- while The Barbaric Berzerker was rather interesting to watch in the ring, Kid Psycho seemed to be going through the motions in this matchup, missing enough spots to make me wonder where his mind was (moreso when it's considered how spot-on Kid Psycho usually is.) Ray Gordy proceeded to take advantage of one of these mental blocks by Kid Psycho (pardon the pun), hitting an Asiatic Spike on him to get the victory for his team. Pretty sub-par, and I've seen better from both these teams.

(43, 81, 62)

Psychosis v. Jushin Liger

WOW. Just...WOW. Now THIS Was the type of match TNA needs more of. Potential MOTY- candidate to open up the show, which is always a good thing (well, save for the fact that now they have to live up to that billing for the rest of the show...) Psychosis and Liger were each on their A-Game in the match, and meshed perfectly to get to the top level of matches for it. Hopefully, this will lead to extended pushes for the two workers- heaven knows they've earned them after this performance. Psychosis got the win following a Sky Twister Press, but in this case, it's the fans who really won...

(68, 100, 84)

After the break, Goldylocks came down to the ring with John Walters and David Young in tow and took a mic...

Goldylocks: "Well, ladies and gentlemen, tonight's your lucky night. You all are privileged to see the biggest...Biggest...BIGGEST...superstar in NWATNA today, my man, John Walters!"

Walters: "..."

Goldylocks: "Tonight, some lucky person will get a chance to get in the ring with the True Unstoppable Force in professional wrestling today!"

Walters: "..." Just then, Joey Idol came down to the ring for his shot at Walters...

Walters: "...Whatever."

John Walters v. Joey Idol

Well, the crowd was DEAD for this match. Judging by the crowd's reaction, I think it's kind of safe to say that John Walters isn't going to be the next Goldberg like TNA is apparently hoping. The match, however, was surprisingly even for these matches- unlike Walters just going through the opponent easily, Joey Idol managed to put on a decent show with Walters in the ring. The crowd still didn't get involved with the match, but the two managed to make the fans get their worth in workrate. Joey Idol managed to take the advantage on John Walters, even managing to hit a Kaostrify- only instead of pinning Walters, Idol left the ring and took a mic...

Idol: "DO YOU SEE? DID YOU SEE THAT! I'M THE REAL UNSTOPPABLE FORCE IN TNA, AND I DON'T NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING ELSE TO YOU PEOPLE!" This spiel led to Idol getting counted out, giving Walters a (recognizably cheap) addition to his win streak.

(29, 80, 54)

After the match, Jerry Lynn was backstage hanging out. Just then, Jeff Jarrett and Straight Money came out and attacked Lynn viciously. Jarrett then took a mic...

Jarrett: "So...you think you're ready for the big time, huh? Well, if you can beat one of these two tonight, I MAY give you a shot at me like you've been angling for!" Straight Money kept beating down Lynn as the show went to break...

(61-I know, I'm surprised too...)

(X-Title) Jason Cross v. Chris Hero

Well, this was certainly a weak matchup...These two workers had almost no chemistry in the ring together, leading to a very poor matchup as a result. Cross's high-flying and Hero's more brawl-based nature led to a pretty major styles clash. The two put on one of the worst matches Cross has had as the X-Title holder- a shame, as Jason Cross has really come into his own as the X-Champion. Chris Hero took a bit of an advantage, but spent a little too much time posing for the fans and not enough time finishing the champion off. Jason Cross eventually fought back, and managed to hit a Crossfire, then put his feet on the ropes for leverage to get the pin. Pretty standard matchup...

(53, 76, 64)

(NWA Tag Team) 3 Live Kru (w/Konnan, Lollipop, Kevin Hayes) v. Bad Luck (w/Danny Hillstead, Jay Matthews, Robert Lowenstein)

Before the match, Tom Goddard took the mic...

Simmons: "You know, you two...there is still a chance Mr. Jayce and the T-Godd could let you walk from this matchup..." Konnan took a mic...

Konnan: "Bitch, ain't NO way we're turning down a shot at beating you strawberries up!"

Goddard: "So it must be...'tis a pity, we are so similar, we could have even been friends in another time..."

Konnan: "How you supposed to be similar to us?"

Simmons: "Well, when you look at the champs- like Killings, Mr. Jayce loves to GET ROWDY..."

Goddard: "...and like 'B-Jizzle...', everyone knows how I love to...SUCK IT!" Tom Goddard made the DX Crotch chop as BG James attacked with a huge SLAP! to start the match.

Well, this match was certainly awesome. These two teams actually managed to work fairly well- expectable when you have one worker who specializes in tag team matches (BG James), one of TNA's fastest-rising prospects (Jayce Simmons), and two workers who are easily among the top 10 workers in the promotion (Ron Killings and Tom Goddard). The match, as a result, managed to work well as a result of this. The 3 Live Kru fought back, with BG James fighting Tom Goddard into the corner. BG did a crotch chop (which led to Goddard opening his mouth and licking his lips) as Jayce Simmons attacked with a Dropkick to the back of James. The two teams continues to fight through. Lollipop headed over to the Bad Luck side to try and distract them, but this didn't work as well. Konnan then tried to send Kevin Hayes over to distract the two, also not working that well. Finally, Hillstead and Matthews tried to grab the feet of 3 Live Kru, leading to Konnan and Hayes attacking the two viciously. This led the referee to send Konnan, Hayes, Hillstead, and Matthews back to the dressing room and watch as they left...giving Jayce Simmons enough time to grab the rowing oar from Lowenstein and crack it over BG James's head, then throw it out before the ref turned around to count the pinfall and give them new Tag Team Champions!

Winners (NEW Tag Team Champions): Bad Luck

After the match, Tom Goddard and Jayce Simmons celebrated in the ring with their new title belts. Goddard took the mic...

Goddard: "Thank you! Thank you! Oh, this is the greatest time for NWATNA! Indeed, all of you are fortunate, for you will be led to a new era by the true greatest champions in TNA history, the ELECTRIC JESUS, and his faithful disciple...NOW, TO CELEBRATE OUR VICTORY!" Goddard kissed Simmons's hand as the two pranced out of the ring with the belts.

(76, 85, 80)

After I got out, I made a beeline over to Alex, who still looked fairly down...

"Um, Alex...? Could you...you know?"

Alex: "Oh- yeah. Sure. Sorry- I forgot..." Alex headbutted me, as I felt our minds switch. I saw him head back over to Jayce while I searched around for Jocelyn...

Jayce: "So, there you are. Well, congrats on winning the tag belts, partner!"

'Tom': "Oh. Yeah. Sure. I'm not feeling that great right now..." 'Tom' left Jayce and the other Team America2 members and went back to feeling sorry for himself...

Jayce: "That's strange- he seemed so happy a few minutes ago. What went wrong?"

CM Punk v. Jerry Lynn

Well, this was a great matchup. They needed to get a few good matches to help elevate CM Punk up the card, and putting him in the main event World Title angle is always a good place to start that. The crowd was eating up the match with surprising levels, having gained some heat in a surpriser. The two meshed fairly well, putting on a world-class show inside the ring as a result. Jerry Lynn had the advantage, and managed to hit the Cradle Piledriver on CM Punk...until Julio Dinero ran in and attacked Jerry Lynn, then put CM Punk on top of him for the pinfall. After the match, Lynn was beaten down- until Board of Directors member Vince Russo came down...

Russo: "Oh, you think you're so smart, don't you, Punk! Cheating an honest worker out of his shot at the title? Well, guess what? I've determined that this match, due to the interference of Julio Dinero, is hereby ruled a Disqualification, meaning that next week, it WILL be Jerry Lynn versus the winner of the next match for the title!"

(72, 90, 81)

Jeff Jarrett v. D'Lo Brown v. Raven v. Sting

Well, this was possibly too much of a good thing. The four workers usually put on good shows together, but when they all mixed, the end result was a bit of a clusterfuck. The four meshed well,and there were nice spots in it, but it just seemed forced. To add to it, the announcement prior to the match took a little of the mystery out, as it seemed to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jeff Jarrett was going over. The end of the match kind of proved it, as Raven and Sting kept fighting it out amongst themselves, allowing D'Lo to be the recipient of a Stroke by Jeff Jarrett to be the one to take the job. After the match, Jarrett celebrated- until Jerry Lynn ran in and attacked him to end the show.

(81, 74, 78)

Over: 73

After the show ended, I finally managed to catch up to Jocelyn.

"Um, Jocelyn?"

Jocelyn: "Oh, yeah- Alex...what's going on?"

"I needed to talk to you about Tom..."

Jocelyn: "Tell him that he can do WHATEVER he wants and to just see if I care. If he wants to sleep with that hussy, then let him!"

"No, no, it's not that. You see- you didn't see what you think you saw..."

Jocelyn: "I saw him with Lollipop last week in the locker room- I think it's pretty clear..."

"It's not that. You see..."

Jocelyn: "What?"

"I have psychic powers. One of those involves me being able to switch minds with people. I switched my mind with Tom's last week, and used his body to hook up with Lollipop. It was my mistake, and the Tom you know had nothing to do with it..." Jocelyn looked at me and spoke...

Jocelyn: "You know- I knew you and Tom were friends, but didn't he tell you I WASN'T born yesterday? Did you really think I'd fall for something as unbelievable as that?"

"It's unbelievable, but it's the truth- I swear!"

Jocelyn: "Well, you just tell Tom THIS as my response to his 'true story', and don't spare the details..." Just then, Jocelyn headed over to me and started to make out with me right there as I was paralyzed with wonder of what to do next. After a little bit, she pulled away...

Jocelyn: "I'm going back to the wOw show. Make sure to tell your little friend about THAT stuff, and don't spare a detail..."

The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

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