my vain album thread thing

[METALMAN]

Basically copying everyone else ever here(I'll probably give it up just as soon as well >_>). Basically as a way to encourage myself to listen to more music I'm going to (hopefully) listen to a different album every day and write a bit about it. I'll take requests too.

DISCLAIMER

Please don't bother correcting any mistakes/factual errors I have probably made. Anyone who is familiar with my reviews should be aware that I just ramble on about a load of shit until I think I have written enough, which is what I expect to do for most of these reviews.

First off is David Bowie's self-titled album, which I have hitherto never listened to.

David Bowie - David Bowie (1967)

This is an album which Bowie himself has disowned - yet this may be a bit hasty. While the album isn't anywhere close to being one of Bowie's greatest - it's by no means dreadful. It is, perhaps, the most unhinged of all his work - an album that seems to pay tribute in equal parts to music hall and Syd Barrett's craziness.

The key aspect of this album is the instrumentation. As weird and as wacky as Bowie's later albums were, none displayed such an eclectic range of instrumentation as is evident here. At times you get the impression that you are listening to slightly more fucked up version of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Coincidentally, David Bowie released his debut on the same day that the Beatles' signature work hit the shelves.

The first half of the album consistently features such bizarre instrumentation, coupled with crazy lyrical themes. However, the music beneath this is for the most part fairly conventional, yet perfectly solid. Highlights include the folksy "Uncle Arthur" and "We Are Hungry Men", which comes across as a bright and brassy summer anthem, albeit it one with lyrics about cannabalism.

"When I Live My Dream" features lush orchestration and fairytale lyrics - calling the likes of Scott Walker to mind. It all features what is, in my opinion at least, one Bowie's finest vocal performances. I can't really be bothered writing about the rest of the album - although it is worthwhile noting that "Please Mr. Gravedigger" is weird as fuck. Whether it is weird in a good way or a bad way, I am unsure, but it is ought to be listened to, if only once.

Overall: A crazy, demented debut album by David Bowie inspired by music hall and Syd Barrett. No particularly weak tracks but nothing really stands out as being excellent either - although "Silly Boy Blue" comes close. I would say it's a sign of things to come but really it isn't as he never did anything that sounded like this ever again.

Songs to download: Silly Boy Blue, We Are Hungry Men, When I Live My Dream, Uncle Arthur

Overall rating: about 7/10 probably. So about 5 points better than "Never Let Me Down" but also like 2.7 worse than "Heroes". Definitely worthwhile picking up, even if only as a curiosity.

My dad's rating: my dad does not rate this album highly at all. "No wonder Bowie pretends it doesn't exist!" he says.

Also, how amazing was the Laughing Gnome?

[METALMAN]

Cher Lloyd - Sticks & Stones (2011)

I'd imagine a lot of you chaps have already made up your minds about Cher Lloyd. But don't write her off just yet!

I'd imagine a lot of you chaps, having heard her debut single Swagger jagger, immediately decided she was crap. You did, didn't you? Sheep! SHEEP!

Swagger Jagger is brilliant. Yes, it's stupid, it's gauche, it's tacky beyond belief. But it's also a bloody good fun choon! I was a bit late in hearing it though. When I got back from Africa (I went to Africa to raise money for poor people. It was quite heroic really, but that's another story for another day.) everybody seemed to have formed an opinion on this song. Namely, that they hated it. I couldn't stand for this! I was in the mood to be contrary, so even if I didn't like the song, I would have liked it anyway just to be different. Just to set myself apart from the crowd.

But I didn't need to! The song was a topper! So as you might expect, I had high hopes for the album, which came out in November or something. And quite right I was too! The album turned out to be fun, playful and instantly catchy. While the extent of her role in shaping the album is open to debate, Cher's warm, bubbly personality is all over the album. This is evident on the likes of Grow Up, an otherwise brilliant first track which even Busta Rhymes fails to ruin. The next tune, and current single, Want U Back is even better. If you are just a casual music follower, please don't write this song off based on the vastly inferior single version. It features some twelve year old US rapper called Astro who is really quite dull and derivative. Don't listen to that version. Listen to the album version instead.

The whole album is really quite good - there's no real evidence of a "bad" song, though Dub On The Track can come across a bit nasty at first, as well as really suffering from some dreadful featured artists. Beautiful People, the album's slow song, is also a bit weedy, but it's also quite nice really.

My favourite song on this album, and very possibly my favourite of the past year, is Playa Boi. Sampling(stealing?) the best parts of Neneh Cherry's very enjoyable hit Buffalo Stance, and adding some genuinely boneheaded lyrics seems to be the way to my heart these days. Some of my favourites are: "like a hole and a three letter donkey" (Asshole! Clever, eh?); "He gotta lean in a gangsta stance, he needta rock all the sickest brands" (Immediately after saying no playa boi can win her love, because it is only sweetness that she is thinking of!); "You like my kicks let me kick ya, like a Twilight fan I'mma bite ya"....and that's just one song.

It really is a very enjoyable album. My only real complaint is that it perhaps lacks a bit of Cher Lloyd's "screw you" attitude, which is a shame because I find it very endearing.

This is the only thing of any merit to have come out of the X-Factor.

Songs to download: Playa Boi, Want U Back, Grow Up, With Ur Love, Superhero

Overall: 9/10

[The Lusophone]

What does your dad think of it?

[METALMAN]

I don't think he'd be too thriled by it. I will remember to ask next time I'm home!

[Dingle]

"UHH" in 'Want U Back' is so annoying that had I not even heard Swagger Jagger, I'd probably still dislike her solely based on that. I don't quite hate her like everyone else seems to, but her music does sound like every other pop record released in the past year or so (Combinations of Jessie J, Nicki Minaj, etc etc). Bestest newest poppiest record is totally Marina, Cher Lloyd can Swag off.

[VerbalPuke]

I love that Bowie album, Uncle Arthur as you mentioned is a great song, as is Love You Till Tuesday, but my favorite is She's Got Medals. The album resonates with my childhood memories, my folks used to play it often on Sunday mornings when cleaning the house.

If you enjoy this album, I'd recommend you check out the Deram Anthology, it has a lot of the stuff from this album and also some other gems from this time period. The Laughing Gnome is completely oddball stuff, but definitely worth a listen.

[METALMAN]

I love the Laughing Gnome!

Anyway....

Lady Gaga - Born This Way (2011)

Okay, first things first - I love Lady Gaga, the person. She can be brilliantly funny but also endearingly pretentious. Despite being unashamedly influenced by the likes of David Bowie and Queen, she still displays a willingness to take risks and be different that is very atypical and refreshing, considering her contemporaries in the pop charts tend to be the staid likes of Adele and Ed Sheeran. So yeah, Lady Gaga, the person, is brilliant. I'd love to be mates with her.

It's just a shame that quite often Lady Gaga, the musician, the songwriter, fails to live up to these standards. Despite a clutch of absolutely storming pop classics, her debut, The Fame, was a predominantly patchy affair. Her follow-up (album 1.5?) the Fame Monster was a very strong effort, however. This made me quite excited for the release of her second (third?) album, and its lead single Born This Way. Unfortunately the single was bobbins, and that, plus a particularly garish cover, extinguished all optimism I had for the album, and I had pretty much written it off before even hearing it. I'm really sorry, Stefani, but Born This Way (the song) was AWFUL.

However, the last couple of singles, Edge of Glory and Marry the Night are absolute stonkers, so I have decided to give Ms. Germanotta's second (third?) album another chance!

Anyway, following on from the good Marry the Night, Born This Way (the song) is still pretty tepid, although the album does have an extra bit where she babbles on about some stuff that is pretty cool. Nice positive message though, so that's nice. The next song, Government Hooker is lifeless, and as you might imagine from such a title, has pretty embarassing lyrics. Next song, Americano is just dull. The next pair, Hair and Scheiße are also pretty humdrum. I'm really, really sorry Stefani.

Fear not though! It isn't long before the album begins to come to life! Bloody Mary is another one of those macabre, sinister pop songs that, in my opinion, absolutely nobody can do better than Lady Gaga. Really, she should just do an entire album of them. Admittedly, Bloody Mary comes nowhere near the heights of past glories So Happy I Could Die or Dance In The Dark, but it's a start, and it has a cool bassline, and Gaga delivers it in her brilliant, chilling, emotionless voice that she uses sometimes. Sends shivers up your spine it does. Another mid-album highlight comes in the form of the robo-disco(:/) Bad Kids, and its soaring chorus, but it isn't long before things simply become okay again, reaching its nadir in the dreadful Heavy Metal Lover, which has all the flaws of Government Hooker and more. I want your whiskey mouth / all over my blonde south. I MEAN REALLY. She doesn't even have a blonde south. :/

Anyway, the slump, like all the best things in pop music, is only temporary, and the album goes out with an excellent one-two punch. You and I is a slower one, and it features "Flyin'" Brian May on guitar, but despite this, it's really quite good. It's very well sung and climaxes at just the right time and the whole concept of the song is based around going for a walk to Nebraska! What's not to love?

But You and I is nothing compared to Edge of Glory, which is, quite simply, a brilliant song, and right up there with her previous holy trinity of amazing songs - Summerboy, Dance In The Dark, So Happy I Could Die. It builds up brilliantly, and the dynamic range is quite incredible, and quite unusual for an album that all too often seems like an onslaught of noise (good band name). Having a saxophone solo courtesy of the late Clarence Clemons during the break sounds absolutely dreadful on paper, but in the event it is sublime. A really good song.

Much like her debut, Born This Way is an extremely patchy affair, which is made even more frustrating by the times it comes very close to real greatness. Once more, the music appears to come second behind the character. However, there are real grounds for optimism though - she's only twenty-five after all, (an age at which Madonna, who Lady Gaga is unfailingly compared to, had done SWEET FA.) and I have a real feeling that she'll do something pretty amazing soon.

Songs to download: Edge of Glory, Marry the Night, Bad Kids, You and I

Overall: 6/10

My dad's rating: My dad doesn't think much of Ms. Gaga aesthetically: "She's not braw!", he says.

[Redefine Sick]

Nice reviews so far. I'd like to request Dax Riggs' "Say Goodnight To The World" if you get a chance.

[Redefine Sick]

Accidental doublepost.

[METALMAN]

Guns 'n' Roses - Appetite For Destruction

In Orley Farm, Anthony Trollope wrote that "success is the necessary misfortune of life, but it is only to the very unfortunate that is comes early". This idea could be applied to any number of popular performers of the last century, and the unhappy fallout of Guns n' Roses is perhaps one of the defining examples. However, this review will not focus on overdoses, riots, cancelled shows, or even Chinese Democracy. This review will concentrate exclusively on Appetite For Destruction, released before the band encountered the pitfalls of early success, and proceeded to make Trollopes of themselves.

Having halfheartedly picked up Duff McKagan's autobiography during my lunch break at work, I quickly became hooked. In reading the bassist's crazy stories of life on and off the road, I sought a perfect musical accompaniment. Cue me listening to everything Guns n' Roses ever recorded. Despite a smattering of good songs across their other albums, Appetite For Destruction proved to be their best album by some margin. For me, this album is the last ROCK album; the last great blues/classic/hard (delete as appropriate) rock album. Blues rock is a very limited genre, and after the likes of the Rolling Stones, Cream, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC and Aerosmith had had their way with it, with diminishing returns each time round, there wasn't much left to be done. The 80s, in particular, were not kind to blues(or perhaps bluesy would be more appropriate) rock. As far as bluesy rock went, GnR were left with a genre that was insipid and dull; complacent and bearing little resemblance to the energy of its beginnings. But Guns n' Roses weren't just blues rock. They were pop, but they were also punk; their music was dumb and stupid, but it was also clever.

They had a knack for creating an atmosphere within their songs that was unrivalled by their contemporaries. Take Welcome To The Jungle. Everybody knows this song, but the reason for it's ubiquity is that it is damn creepy. Remember the http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZf4FhdfpNg? Would any song in the world be more fitting for San Andresa than Welcome To The Jungle? Just hearing the first few seconds of the song is enough for you to know that San Andreas is a terrifying, hedonistic place, full of yer sex, drugs and rock n' roll. On the other hand, you know the place is bloody fun too! Although if you're not careful you'll get stabbed in the face by a small-time drug dealer.

The atmosphere is rife throughout the album - particularly Nighttrain, Out Ta Get Me and Mr Brownstone. While there are also paeans to the women in the group's life, most of songs are directed at prostitutes, strippers and other creatures from Los Angeles' decadent underworld. Only one of these is a traditional ballad (and even calling it a ballad is a bit of a stretch). This is, of course, Sweet Child O' Mine. This song is played everywhere, but I don't think I could ever listen to it enough. Here, unusually, Axl Rose sings of "special places", "blue skies". Despite this, it's place within the context of the album doesn't jar or affect the mood, as Axl sings of this as an idyll, praying for the "thunder and the rain" to pass him by. The real star of this song, however, is Slash. From the iconic arpeggiated introductio to the tuneful solos, he doesn't play a note out of place. Many solos from so-called "great" guitarists smack of showing off just for the sake of it, but Slash's solos are melodic and often offer a whole new song in themselves.

The defining aspect of this album is the atmosphere. Appetite For Destruction sounds scary and dangerous, and you know that to be the case because the band themselves were scary and dangerous.

Songs to download: Sweet Child O' Mine, Welcome To The Jungle, Paradise City (Yes, I know they're the singles but they are just so good, and my choosing them is by no means a jibe at the rest of the album, which is also excellent.

Overall: 9/10

My dad's rating: The only Guns song my dad can remember is November Rain and for that reason he has forever written them off. "They are ridiculous and over the top!" he says, hanging up the phone, presumably in order to go and listen to Steely Dan or Frank Zappa for the twelve millionth time.

P.S.

I can easily understand why some of you might find this album or band to be shit. It's just that what you find to be shit about them is quite possibly the precise reason I love them.

[RPS]

Scheiße hum drum? It's the only good song on the album and is by far the weirdest thing she's done.