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MalaCloudy Black

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It's called "Pokémon After Dark" and it's funny as hell sometimes.

Oak: Well, I suppose so. After all he can solve complex logic problems and communicate using abstract concepts.

Ash: So doesn't that make him my slave?

Oak: Well...I...suppose...

Ash: Hahaha! Fear me slave! Do your exalted master's dark bidding!

Pikachu: (shocks the bejesus out of Ash)

Ash: Some slave...can I just beat him with a stick when he misbehaves?

Oak: No Ash. That would be wrong.

Ash: But making him battle other sentient beings in a bloody battle to the death wouldn't be, Professor?

Oak: It sure wouldn't be.

Ash: Kick ass! Let's go Pikachu. (tries to get Pikachu in the poké ball)

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Misty: (wakes up) Was that Team Rocket? (yawns)

Ash: Yeah, they suck. They suck more than Gary. Gary sucks balls. Don't you agree?

Misty: Who is Gary?

Ash: Ahh nevermind.

Misty: No, seriously, I want to know. Who is Gary?

Ash: Don't worry about it.

Misty: God dammit who the fuck is Gary?!

Ash: Ok, ok, geez.

Misty: Well?

Ash: Well what?

Misty: Who is Gary?

Ash: Gary?

Misty: Yes, Gary. Who is he?

Ash: Oh him. Yeah.

Misty: So?

Ash: So, what?


Ash: He's a bastard pokémon trainer who's actually better than me in every way, but because he is a smug son-of-a-bitch I'm going to win out anyway, because of the primitively stupid level of symbolism in this children's cartoon.

Misty: Oh. I hate that Gary.

Ash: Exactly. Oh, and you're the preteen who's almost old enough to be nailed and is thus the focus of many a hentai artist. But, despite your beauty and apparent sluttiness, you never actually have sex with anyone even though this is against your nature, because sex is evil and bad, and that's symbolic of your...goodness. Wait, let me start over!

Misty: Shut up Ash.

Ash: And I'm the immature childish boy who must grow up in this classic Epic style story, despite the fact that real epics don't have episodes, or little monsters, and they always have a cool ogre that smashes people's brains. Or something like that. Anyway, back to enslaving innocent animals to serve my dark ambitions.

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They run inside to find a nerdy looking professor being attacked by Zubats.

Professor: I am not nerdy.

He shouldn't have been able to hear that.

:lol: I'm lovin' this more and more.

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Jesse: To protect the world from infestation.

James: To unite all peoples within our nation.

Jesse: To denounce the evils of life and truth.

James: To have sex with that hottie named Ruthe.

Jesse: James!

James: Well she is hot!

Jesse: Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!

James: Surrender now or prepare to fight!

Meowth: That's right!

Ash: My God! And I was always taught that homosexuals weren't real!

James: We are not gay!

Ash: Then why are you wearing a gay jumpsuit?

James: Because Jesse won't let me touch her (gets smacked by Jesse) umm, because I like it.

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Brock: C'mon now. The audience thing is such a ripoff of DBZ Rewrite.

OMG. For making a reference to the BEST FANFIC IN THE HISTORY OF EVER I officially like this thing despite how scary it is.

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Ash: She is one crazy bitch. Anyway, which way to Cerulean city?

Brock: Well, we go...we go...

Ash: Go where? Where?!

Brock: We go...right up my ass!

Ash: Someday I will actually kill you.

The two eventually arrive at Cerulean city.

Ash: We're here! Finally! Now where is the gym, Brock?

Brock: Well Ash, it's right-

Ash: If you say it's up your ass I will kick your fucking ass so hard that you puke the gym up!

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Worst. Smiley. Ever.

I liked the dog argument best:

Ash: What do you want?

Misty: A puppy.

Ash: What's a puppy?

Misty: You know, like a young dog.

Ash: You mean a dog-type pokémon? Yeah me too.

Misty: No! A dog!

Ash: What the hell is a dog?

Misty: You know. A furry mammal. It has a big jaw. It's very playful.

Ash: You mean a Growlithe?

Misty: No you idiot! A dog! D-O-G!

Ash: (laughing) And where might I find this magical "dog"?

Misty: Shut up, just shut up!

Ash: Anyway, it's time for me to do something so obviously amazingly stupid! Caterpie go!

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