TheRaySays

I'm loving my team. We're a pretty diverse trio. And this couldn't come at a more awesome time for me. (Y)

from Wikipedia, edited for improved awesomeness:

Eugène François Vidocq (July 23, 1775 – May 11, 1857) was a French criminal who later became the first director of Sûreté Nationale and one of the first modern private investigators. Vidocq was Victor Hugo's inspiration for both reformed criminal Jean Valjean and his pursuer, police inspector Javert, in the novel Les Misérables.

By age fourteen he stole a large amount of money from the cash box of his parents' bakery and left the town for Ostend where he tried to embark to The Americas. But he was defrauded one night and thus found himself suddenly fundless. To survive, he hired out at a group of travelling entertainers. Despite regular beatings he worked hard enough to get promoted from stable-boy to fair-monster. In this role he had to play a Caribbean cannibal who eats raw meat.

On 10 March 1791 he enrolled at the Bourbon Regiment, where his reputation as a terrific fencer was confirmed. According to Vidocq within six months he challended 15 people to a duel and killed two men in the process. Despite being no model soldier and causing further difficulties, he spent only a total of 14 days in jail. During those two weeks for the first time Vidocq aided a fellow inmate with a successful escape.

On 1st November 1792 he was appointed to corporal of the grenadiers. But during the ceremony on the occasion of his promotion he challenged a higher officier to a duel. This sergeant major refused the duel, so Vidocq hit him. Striking a superior officer could have led to a death sentence so he deserted from his regiment and enlisted in the 11th chasseurs, of course, without mentioning his history.

In March 1795 Vidocq moved to Paris, where he squandered all his money on loose women. He went back to the North and joined a group of Bohemian gypsies, which he later left for a woman he fell in love with, a certain Francine Longuet. When Francine cheated on him with a soldier he beat both of them up. The soldier sued him on which in September 1795 Vidoqc was sentenced to three months in prison.

In the next weeks Vidocq escaped several times with the help of Francince but always was captured soon again. During one of his escapes Francince caught him with another woman. He hid from her and when he finally was picked up again by police he learned that Francine had been found injured with multiple knife wounds. Suddenly he was not only accused of forgery but also attempted murder. It took some time until Francine conceded that the wounds were self-inflicted and the charge was dropped. Vidcoq's contact to Francine was stopped when she was convicted to six months of prison for aiding in prison escapes.

On 1st July 1809, only a few days before his 34th birthday, Vidcoq was arrested again. He decided to stop his life on the fringes of society and offered his service as an informant to the police. His offer was accepted and on 20th July he was jailed in Bicêtre where he started his work as a spy. He sounded out his inmates and forwarded information about forged identities and unsolved crimes to the police chief of Paris, Jean Henry. After 21 month of spying Vidocq was released from jail on the recommendation of Henry. To not raise suspicion among the other inmates, the release was arranged to look like an "escape".

Still Vidocq was not really free, because now he was obliged to Henry. Therefore, he continued to work as a secret agent for the Paris police. He used his contacts and his reputation in the criminal underworld to gain trust among them. He disguised himself as escaped convict, immersed himself into the criminal scene to learn about planned and already executed crimes. He even took part in felonies to suddenly turn on his partners in crime and arrest them. When criminals eventually began to suspect him, he used disguises and assumed other identities to continue his work and throw off suspicion. His success rate was high.

At the end of 1811 Vidocq informally organized a plainclothes unit, the Brigade de la Sûreté (engl. Security Brigade). When the police department recognized the value of the civil agents, the experiment in October 1812 got officially converted to be a security police under the umbrella of the Prefecture of Police. Vidocq was appointed to be its leader. On 17 December 1813 Napoleon Bonaparte signed a decree, which made the brigade a state security police. From this day on it was called Sûreté Nationale.

Vidocq is credited with having introduced record-keeping, criminology and ballistics to criminal investigation. He made the first plaster casts of shoe impressions. He created indelible ink and unalterable bond paper with his printing company. His form of anthropometrics is still partially used by French police. He is also credited for philanthropic pursuits – he claimed he never informed on anyone who had stolen for real need. The Vidocq Society claims to follow his example.

It is believed a story about Vidocq inspired Edgar Allan Poe to create the first detective in fiction, C. Auguste Dupin, in 1841.

In my opinion, one of the most fascinating historical figures you've never heard of, and someone who legitimately changed the world. An O.G. pimp before pimpin' was easy.

I want in, and I've ne-eh-eh-ever no-showed a Dome comp. I'd rather give up a kidney than give up and bow out.

Brilliant once again good sir. Love the use of the gold bars as the background for the main text. I wouldn't have thought of that. (Y)

Thanks again and always.

It's that time again...

This will be used in my sig AND the diary in question and credit will be given in both places at the very least.

Size - Consistent with the last one, 400x172 or thereabouts.

Text - small font: "NWA: Mile High presents", big font: "GOLD RUSH", small font at bottom: "3-Way Ladder Match * Hardcore Challenge * Title Round Robin" and "February 25, 2007"

Fonts - something bold, manly, and rugged, like Algerian or Bernard MT Condensed for the title

The smaller text can use something basic and clean

Images - Flash Funk, Nova, and Yuji Nagata (these are just samples, use any appropriate to year 2007, no title belts please)

over some gold bars or ingots

Colors - Gold is the theme here, so that and contrasting colors like purple, perhaps?

C-MIL, you are indeed a life-saver and a golden god. Thank you.

I, on the other hand, am an idiot.

GODDDAMMMMITTTT!

Sigh. Any chance we can sub out Axl Rotten for IAN Rotten?

That's the second time I've been confused by my own damn diary...

Wow. Excellent job. Thanks! (Y)

Okay, I don't want to make a new thread every time I'm looking for one of these, so I'll keep them all here. That being said, I know this is non-paying free time fun work, so I'm grateful for even thoughtful consideration let alone any attempts.

These will be used in my sig AND the diary in question and credit will be given in both places at the very least.

Size - I'm not fussy, though the first one will set the standard for the rest in the interests of consistency. Just nothing that will get me a "zOMG, your sig's fooking huge!" PM from anyone.

Text - small font: "NWA: Mile High presents", big font: "ROCKY MOUNTAIN WAY", small font at bottom: "Hardcore Challenge * Trios Match * Title Tournament Qualifiers" and "January 28, 2007"

Fonts - something bold, manly, and rugged, like Algerian or Bernard MT Condensed for the title

The smaller text can use something basic and clean

Images - TAKA Michinoku and Axl Rotten (these are just samples, use any appropriate to year 2007, no title belts please)

over a vista of the Rocky Mountains, perhaps with a road or highway trailing off into the distance

Colors - Well, TAKA's pics all seem to use blue as his color theme, so maybe pair that with a contrasting color like red, yellow, or orange? I'm open-minded

I recently finished the first graphic novel for Preacher, and it's the best fucking comic I've ever read. I can't wait to get the rest of the series, it was an absolute joy to read.

I think it's one of the greatest comic series ever (perhaps better than the much-lauded Sandman, IMHO) and never jumps the shark either. Just a solid run to its conclusion. I wholeheartedly recommend reading all of the trade paperbacks in order. Just don't skip ahead. There are some serious mindfucks that need to be read in sequence to truly appreciate and after being spoilered it'd be kinda like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Do you guys know this Dude? He is doing Comic reviews of bad (oldish?) Comics.

http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/video...ys/linkara/at4w

While i feel that sometimes he is trying way to hard he still is one of the better angry reviewers on the internet, a lot of people like him a great deal.

He should really just write and film someone else reading it. He's waaaaay too stereotypical internet nerd to me, complete with requisite sthpeech impediment and over dramatic outbursts.

Another part -- one for Stark's assistant Natasha -- is still open.

Uuuh, Black Widow anyone?

I imagine she'll be revealed to be working for the villains, then turn face in time to join The Avengers.

I approve. (Y)

I've been pimping the shit out of The Walking Dead ever since I started posting in this thread.

Elephant Men is fucking awesome too, and I hate all of you for not reading it.

Don't be hating on me, godddammit. I've got Elephantmen shit y'all ain't even heard of.

After People Of Sparks, I will need a new fantasy series, and I'm thinking the Eragon books, unless anyone else has suggestions?

Naomi Novik's Temeraire series, unless you have an unnatural aversion to historical fantasy. I can't bring myself to read Eragon. Juvenile fanfic with big publisher backing is still just juvenile fanfic.

I'm about to finish Fire by Sebastien Junger (author of The Perfect Storm). It's a non-fiction compilation of articles about dangerous jobs and war-torn regions. The last article deals with Bin Laden and the Taliban and was originally published mere months before 9/11, and still offers insights I haven't seen picked up elsewhere.

I'm also still easing my way through House of Leaves, which isn't an easy read but is certainly rewarding.

I loved The Jungle. I seriously need to reread that.

Congratz Sous!

Honky Tonk Boot Camp is a beautiful baby.

That's a great short film. While the collector is a sympathetic figure, I detect a bit of hubris in him, a reluctance to sell his life so cheap... which, of course, is merely a reluctance to accept that his collection isn't worth $3 million and that the world, indeed, doesn't really give a damn about his passion for vinyl or even music.

Growing up sucks, at any age.

Ultimate Spoiler/Opinion!

This was awesome fun. Thanks!

1I:

8C:

BTW, that Brian Cox picture in 3E is killing me! I'll hazard a guess:

3D:

2G:

I'm not going to bother answering ones already shown to be correct. Of the remainder:

I have to share any credit with my wife. Great concept/quiz. (Y)

From We Built This Forum (On Our Diaries), AWA All Star Wrestling (January 8th, 1990 with the dreadful Team Challenge Series in full swing)...

Match 4: “The Illustrious” Johnnie Stewart w/Col. DeBeers vs. Scott “Flash” Norton w/The Trooper vs. Kokina Maximus w/Sheik Adnan Al-Kaisie in a Short Stack Flapjack Challenge

Stewart is out first with The Colonel, and wanders around ringside in a general state of unease. Stewart seems to be in the market for a pep talk, but DeBeers doesn’t look too interested in giving one. “The Illustrious One” takes a pancake in hand and… tests its weight?

Norton’s out next, quickly joined by The Trooper, who gives him the old manly handshake and pat on the shoulder. Norton seems to be sizing up the pancakes and nodding his approval. Lastly, Sheik Adnan Al-Kaisie leads Kokina Maximus to ringside. Col. DeBeers is quick to saunter over to them, drawing the ire of Lee Marshall, who questions the inter-team fraternizing.

Eric Bischoff is down to ringside to preside over this tomfoolery. He returns The Trooper’s hat to him, then explains that “This challenge will be broken into three rounds with this, the first, counting for one point. The goal is to see how many pancakes you can stack on one saucer in sixty seconds. You must balance the saucer in one hand and stack pancakes from the main trolley with the other. You are not allowed to touch the other competitors nor their pancakes. Good luck.” He turns to Referee Al DeRusha who stands by with a stopwatch. “On your marks… Get set… Go!”

Sixty seconds has never seemed so long. We get some half-hearted attempts at comedy as Kokina Maximus tries to use his girth block out access to the tray by Scott Norton, who struggles to reach around the big Samoan without touching him. This visibly frustrates Norton until he juggles his saucer and all but one of his pancakes fall to the floor.

Finally, Bischoff calls “Time!”, and Johnnie Stewart is told to put down the last pancake he was trying to sneak onto his stack afterwards. The final tally is Stewart with 15, Kokina with 17, and Norton with a lowly 1. Kokina takes the first round and earns a point for Larry’s Legends while “Flash” fumes.

Two of Kokina’s pancakes are put on Norton’s saucer, then another dozen from the cart, to bring each man up to 15. Bischoff puts the saucers on the tables, one at each, and encourages the competitors to sit. Kokina struggles to get comfortable in the chair, while Norton turns his around so he leans over the back, flexing his massive arms in anticipation of what’s to come.

Bischoff pours syrup over each stack, then steps a short distance away. “The next round is worth two points to the man who can eat the most pancakes in sixty seconds using nothing but your hands. Al, are you ready with the stopwatch? Okay… On your marks… Get set… Go!”

Stewart stuffs his first into his mouth with reckless abandon, then finds himself struggling to choke it down. Norton and Kokina are more methodical, tearing theirs up and working at them diligently. Norton’s actually smart enough to dig into the bottom part of his stack, avoiding the troublesome syrup. Despite everyone’s best efforts, however, the whole thing is a ridiculous, retarded mess, with fragments of pancake and globs of syrup getting everywhere.

“Ten… Nine… Eight…” Bischoff shouts at the top of his lungs, but no one in the audience bothers counting along. “Three… Two… One… Time!”

Stewart coughs and spits up a doughy ball of mush, and Bischoff feels the need to look to the referee, who shakes his head. “I’m told that doesn’t count. So… We’ve got… uh… one and a half for Johnnie Stewart.” Stewart wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and storms away from the table, visibly frustrated.

“Okay, we’ve got… NINE for Scott Norton! Wow! And over here… we’ve got… TEN for Kokina Maximus! What a close contest, but Kokina gets the win and two points for Larry’s Legends!”

Scott Norton rips off his shirt and wipes his mouth and hands on it, then throws it down on the table angrily. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaisie rubs Kokina’s belly and presumably makes a silent wish. Kokina smiles a toothy grin and licks his lips greedily.

Referee Al DeRusha climbs into the ring as Bischoff walks over to the apron. “The final round is going to be the toughest. This is going to be a 3-man match, and the winner must score a pinfall over BOTH of his opponents… SIMULTANEOUSLY… one stacked on top of the other. Because of the difficulty of this challenge, the winner will earn FIVE points for his team, and this will go to TV time remaining. As soon as all three men are in the ring, Referee Al DeRusha will call for the bell, and we’ll see who comes out on top!”

Scott Norton gets a pat on the back from The Trooper while Sheik Adnan Al-Kaisie whispers some kind of strategy to Kokina. “The Illustrious” Johnnie Stewart is left to his own devices as Col. DeBeers actively withdraws from him when he approaches, giving him a generally disdainful sneer.

We get the opening bell, and Kokina goes straight for Johnnie Stewart, who quickly retreats. Stewart finds himself trapped, unable to get away from the bulky Samoan, who just pummels him with right hands in the corner. The referee doesn’t get the chance to call for the break as Scott Norton turns Kokina around and whips him hard across to the far turnbuckles.

Kokina stumbles out, one sticky hand at the small of his back. Norton catches him… and SLAMS him! Eric Bischoff, back at the announce position, can hardly believe it. Scott flexes for the unappreciative crowd and then stomps over to Stewart, who still slumps in the corner. He pulls Stewart out and sets himself in position, making sure Kokina is still lying prone behind him. Norton takes a front facelock and gets a fistful of tights, possibly looking to suplex Stewart onto Kokina and go for the pin.

Stewart gets his leg around that of Norton to block the suplex attempt, however. There’s a brief impasse, then Stewart breaks the hold with a heelish and undetected knee to the groin. Norton staggers away and leans on the ropes with his legs drawn together in pain. Stewart pulls himself up into a seated position on the top turnbuckle, then leaps off the middle ropes to drive a knee into the forehead of Kokina Maximus, keeping him flailing on the canvas.

Scott Norton returns, still staggering. Stewart hits a dropkick that sends him reeling, and he stumbles backward into Kokina, losing his balance. “The Illustrious One” goes to the middle ropes on the opposite side and nails Norton with a jumping knee drop! He climbs up onto the mound of humanity and gets 1… 2… Kokina gets his shoulder up, and Stewart comes tumbling off of the pile.

All three men get back to their feet. Kokina grabs Stewart by the hair and delivers a big head butt that drops him like a stone. He then turns to see Norton coming off the ropes at a clip. Norton BLASTS him with a big clothesline, and Kokina topples backward to squash Stewart with a nearly audible rush of air. “Flash” dives on top as the referee counts the 1… 2… 3-NO! Kokina throws Norton off of him at the last instant. The Trooper slaps the mat, shouting “Come on, Flash!” Eric Bischoff apologizes for going to commercial, but promises us that “Tape is running, and we’ll see the finish to this match no matter what!”

– Mid-Match Commercials –

We’re back to see Referee Al DeRusha struggling to free Kokina from the Andre the Giant special, where his arms are tangled up in the ropes with his big ass sat on the canvas. Meanwhile, Scott Norton has Johnnie Stewart in a big bear hug, and is just shaking the life out of him. With the referee distracted, Stewart is able to go to the eyes in desperation and break the hold.

He hits the ropes and comes off with a running dropkick that knocks the blinded Norton into DeRusha and into Kokina. Johnnie frees Kokina and immediately begs off, pointing down at Norton. The two start laying stomps into Norton until Stewart drags “Flash” into position in the center of the ring. He gestures, roughly indicating a big splash. Kokina hits it as directed, then quickly rolls out of the way to avoid the obvious cheap shot elbow drop from Stewart, which hits Norton instead.

Kokina goes back to the ropes as Stewart gets up, and Stewart gets turned inside-out with a clothesline. With the referee just starting to rouse, Kokina climbs up to the top turnbuckle. The Trooper cries foul, but no one’s listening. Lee Marshall gets in on the action. “This should be an automatic disqualification!”

Kokina leaps off, practically splashing the guts out of Johnnie Stewart. “Good heavens!” cries Lee. “That’s gotta break some ribs!” Kokina then throws Scott Norton on top of Stewart and jerks the referee up to his feet. He shakes Al DeRusha back to consciousness then lays on top of his fallen foes. DeRusha slowly counts the 1... 2... 3.

WINNER: Kokina Maximus sweeps the challenge, with Johnnie Stewart on the bottom of the piled pinfall after an illegal Top Rope Maximus Splash.

O:54. C:40. M:68. Larry’s Legends: 13 + 8 = 21 pts.

Violated

Kokina gets his hand raised, but The Trooper is in the ring in no time to plead the case for disqualification. This brings in Sheik Adnan Al-Kaisie, who vehemently denies any illegal activity took place. There’s plenty of shouting and finger pointing, but neither man is getting far with the beleaguered referee.

Kokina Maximus gets in The Trooper’s face, trying to intimidate him, but The Trooper just pulls out his ticket pad and scribbles something, then rips off a sheet and sticks it to Kokina’s syrup-tacky chin. “You’ve just been fined for failure to yield… Keep it up, and you’ll be cited for obstruction of justice!” he shouts, picked up on the microphone still attached to his lapel.

Suddenly, Col. DeBeers slides into the ring and takes The Trooper down with a forearm to the back of the head. He stomps the fallen hat flat, then starts laying combat boots to the bandaged area of The Trooper’s skull, ignoring the tugging arms of Referee Al DeRusha. Kokina Maximus crumples up the ticket and joins in the beatdown, until Baron Von Raschke leads Paul Diamond and “Yukon” John Nord down the aisle and to the rescue.

The heels scatter as Baron’s Blitzers hit the ring, but The Trooper is left lying on the canvas, his boot kicking feebly at the mat and his hands clutched over his head. Paul tries to check on him, but can’t get The Trooper to move his hands so he can see. One would think The Trooper was holding his brains in or something.

“This is just sickening! The Trooper’s going to need immediate medical attention!” cries an outraged Lee Marshall.

“What about Johnnie Stewart?!” offers a disturbingly excited Eric Bischoff. “He might have cracked ribs or even a punctured lung! Folks, we’re out of time. We’ll let you know how this turns out next week… on All… Star… Wrestling!”

55. (The Trooper gained overness from getting his head caved in. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaisie gained overness from knowing when to retreat.)

One of these days, I'm going to try to resurrect this clusterfuck of a fed and give it unholy life...

From The Evolution of Wrestling, NWA: Hardcore City (May 7th, 2004)...

3. An Offer That Cannot Be Refused:

When we return, we’re greeted with a close shot of the door to “FRANCINE’S CHAMPAGNE ROOM – THERE ARE NO RULES IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM.” We pull back to show the door flanked by The Pitbulls, their massive arms folded against their chests, spiked dog collars hooked tight around their bulging necks, and a thoroughly empty expression fixed on their faces. Spanky practically skips into frame, dressed in an archaic suit and a fedora, an unlit cigar clenched in his teeth. He reaches out to knock, but Pitbull I catches his fist and squeezes.

Pitbull I: “What you think you’re doin’, Little Man?”

Spanky holds up a closed briefcase.

Spanky: “I’m here to see The Queen of Extreme about some bizness. Is Her Majesty in?”

Pitbull I: “Yeah, but she ain’t…”

Francine: (shouted from inside) “Oh, just let him in!”

Pitbull II opens the door and we follow Spanky into Francine Fournier’s exclusive Viking Hall dressing room. She lounges on a black leather sofa in the dim light, a red lycra minidress clinging to her curves. A bowl of strawberries and a glass of champagne sit on a checkerboard art deco table alongside a bottle on ice.

Francine theatrically swings one leg over the other to sit facing Spanky. She adjusts the strap on her clear lucite stiletto heel before taking up the glass of bubbly.

Francine: “What do YOU want?”

Spanky: “I have an offer… an offer I’m told you can’t refuse.”

He sets the briefcase on the table and opens it. Before he turns it to face her, we can see it is overflowing with crumpled bills and some loose coins.

Spanky: “Thirty-four thousand dollars and sixty-two cents. Payment for services of a… personal nature. Services, I’m told, you provide beyond compare.”

Francine: “Waitaminute. Are you saying I’m a WHORE?! Are you offering me thirty-four thousand dollars to…”

Spanky: “…and sixty-two cents…”

Francine: “Are you trying to buy sex from me?”

Spanky: “Well, it’s more of a rental thing, I guess, but um… you’re not going to call The Pitbulls in here to break my neck are you?”

Francine: “Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn’t?”

Spanky: “I think you’re looking at thirty-four thousand reasons.”

Francine: (pauses) “Thirty-four thousand dollars… and sixty-two cents… to sleep with you?”

Spanky: (laughs) “Oh NO! No, not with me… with Shark Boy. I think it’s just about time he became a… y’know… Shark MAN.”

Francine: “Are you SERIOUS?! I can’t… I…”

Spanky: “Well, *I* can’t do it. He’s my tag team partner. Help me out here, Toots. I’m offering fair compensation, I think. Look, to be honest, I’m not even sure the kid knows which end is up, so to speak, but I figger if anyone can… er… set ‘im straight, it’d be you.”

Francine: “I can’t believe this. I’ll tell you what… Spanky… Give me one week to make a counter offer. We juuuust might be able to work something out.”

Spanky: “Fantastic! I look forward to hearing from you then.”

Spanky slams the briefcase shut and slides it off the table. He takes up the bottle of champagne and clinks it against her glass.

Spanky: “To bizness and pleasure…”

He brings the bottle to his lips and begins to chug, but Francine holds up a finger and wags it at him. The camera pulls back to find Spanky flanked by The Pitbulls. He sheepishly swallows the champagne and sets the bottle back in the ice bucket with a mischievous smile.

Francine: “Boys, show Mister Spanky the door.”

(66. The Queen of Extreme gained 3 points of overness from holding court.)

One of these days, I'm going to finish this angle...

Somewhere I remember laying the groundwork for "Kwee Wee vs. Abdullah the Butcher: Hell in a GEO Metro", but don't think it ever made it to the board.