Hardcore Weapon Smasher

I got Primal Scream and Manic Street Preachers latest albums for $4 each a couple of days ago.

Beatles Beastie Boys

Beatles - Come on. It's the Beatles. You can't seriously vote for Franz Ferdinand over the Beatles. Flaming Lips - Toughest. choice. ever. Two of my favourite bands. I have to go with the Flaming Lips though. Beck - Beck rocks. Clash rock. But Beck rocks more than Clash. Libertines - I like them equal. A coin toss had to decide.

Boooo. Depeche Mode aren't dance Squancho. Did they take your mind along with your old name?

Looks like AR is a closet country and western fan. It's okay to give in to your true feelings. C'mon now. You can do it.

Here are the past lineups, I think 97 had the best lineup. http://www.bigdayout.com/theshow_past_lineups.php

The Thrills - Big Sur Rooney - Blueside The Sleepy Jackson - Come To This Powderfinger - Sunsets Jebediah - First Time Eskimo Joe - Planet Earth Eskimo Joe - Smoke Eskimo Joe - From The Sea Nice and poppy.

These bands are rumoured to be playing the Big Day Out music festival in Australia next year: Beastie Boys The Pixies AC/DC The Flaming Lips The Chemical Brothers Coldplay The Streets Scissor Sisters Slipknot I am so going.

What is the song you hate most at the moment? I'd have to say 'Chocolate' by Kylie Minogue. I don't think I've ever heard such utter shite in my entire life. So of course they have to play it 24 hours a day on the radio.

It's posters like you that make EWB the shithole that it is today.

Dear God Squancho. You're losing your touch. *brings out defibrillator paddles* Quick people! We can still save him! *zaps Squancho*

I think that the younger sisters of these singers should have their vocal cords removed at birth. They always launch their own careers and leech off the popularity of their older sisters, eg. Solange Knowles.

Ziggy Marley is Bob Marley's son.

Your small size font don't fool me Squancho.

Just give them a chance. They're a novelty act, so don't take them too seriously. Just listen to Thunderbirds Are Coming Out, Whatareya, Greg! The Stop Sign!! and Ol' Man River, and you might like them.

TISM (This Is Serious Mum) are seven unique musicians from Australia who haven't got the respect they deserve. It is my solemn duty to convince you to listen to their music and shower them with money. First, here is a picture of four of them, but once you know what four of them look like you'll know what the rest look like: I should note, if you are easily offended at anything, you should leave now. Before you read another line. Here's a biography of TISM from allmusic.com: ____________________________________________________________________ TISM (short for This Is Serious, Mum), formed in Melbourne, Australia in 1982, and, after a couple of false starts, became one the most popular underground groups of the Australian music scene. Amazingly, the band even managed to receive some commercial success in the mid-1990s. TISM have what can only be described as a twisted sense of humour. But whereas bands like They Might Be Giants use their humour to write pop songs with quirky lyrics, TISM use theirs to viciously lampoon anyone and anything. Literally nothing is sacred, and the band attempt to be as offensive as possible with mixed, although sometimes hilarious, results. TISM are not publicity-shy in any way, but every time they appear in public (which includes live gigs) they wear masks to hide their identities. Officially, their line-up consists of Ron Hitler-Barassi (vocals), Humphrey B. Flaubert (vocals and drums), Eugene de la Hot Croix Bun (vocals and keyboards), John St Peenis (formerly saxophone, now vocals), Jock Cheese (bass), Les Miserables (vocals) and Tokin Blackman (formerly known as Tony Coitus) (guitar). Past members include Marco Fessey (saxophone) and Leak Van Vlahen (guitar). Forming in Melbourne in 1982, the band wrote to Eddie Van Halen and Australian politician Paul Keating offering them the position of lead tamborine in the band. Both declined. It wasn't until 1985 that TISM's recordings began to see the light of day. Their debut single "Defecate on my Face" was released that year, although it wasn't until their third single, "40 Years - Then Death" was released that one of their songs was deemed fit to be played on radio. A rising tide of interest greeted the band in 1986 following the release of their debut album Form and Meaning Reach Ultimate Communion. An attempted interview at this time by a well-known music magazine was treated in a typical TISM manner: the journalist stood at the opposite end of a football ground to the band, and shouted questions to them through a megaphone. The answers were then shouted back through another megaphone. To make things even more difficult, a long piece of string ran between the band and the journalist - the string had to be kept taut or the band wouldn't co-operate. In 1988, the album that made their name on the underground circuit appeared. Entitled Great Truckin' Songs of the Renaissance, the album was full of guitar pop, and the same twisted, tasteless lyrics that had been a feature of their work to date. Several singles were released from the album, including "The Ballad of John Bonham's Coke Roadie", "I'm Interested in Apathy", "40 Years - Then Death" and "Saturday Night Palsy". The last single hovered in the lower regions of the Australian charts, and prompted a popular television show to invite the band to perform the single. TISM performed, but in a move designed to infuriate the show's producers, performed the single with 28 band members, all in full costume. In 1990, the follow-up Hot Dogma was released, but this failed to generate a great deal of interest and sold poorly. None of the TISM sense of humour had been lost here, and song titles from this album included "(I'm Gonna Sit Right Down) And Whittle Away My Furniture", "While My Catarrh Gently Weeps" and "Leo's Toltoy". The next year, TISM were fired from their record company for being too difficult to work with. However, the small label Shock Records bought the rights to their back-catalogue and re-released some of their earlier work as a full-length album Gentlemen, Start Your Egos in 1992. This was the catalyst for the band to record another disc, the Beasts of Suburban EP. It was more of the same anarchy, and featured a song entitled "Get Thee to a Nunnery", which was an attack on popular Australian childrens' television presenter Sophie Lee, although the band claimed to respect her work. In 1993, another only mildly-successful disc, Australia the Lucky C*** was released. While not commercially successful, it proved to be one of their more controversial. The original cover art featured a koala with a syringe in its mouth, drawn in a similar style to art work by well-known Australian designer Ken Done. Done sued the band a week after the release of the disc, and it was withdrawn, but was re-released soon after with new cover art under the title Censored Due to Legal Advice. Following this release, TISM found themselves in something of a rut. They had been unable to recapture the success of Great Truckin' Songs, and their later releases had been notorious due to surrounding controversy rather than for the music they contained. As a result, their next album Machiavelli and the Four Seasons, released in 1996, marked a substantial change in direction for the band. Machiavelli saw synthesisers and dance music replace the guitar pop of earlier releases, and, as a consequence, became their biggest commercial success. This was also helped by favorable reviews at the time. The album went gold in Australia, and a number of singles were released from it, including "Jung Talent Time", "Greg! The Stop Sign!" (a song that ridiculed television advertisements about avoiding road fatalities and featured superb Beach Boys-style harmonies), "All Homeboys are Dickheads" and "(He'll Never Be an) Ol' Man River". The latter featured some of the more tasteless TISM lyrics for some time ("I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix"). Despite this, or perhaps because of it, the song became hugely popular. Two years later, in 1998, TISM re-appeared with another album of dance music-inspired anarchy. This record, entitled www.tism.wanker.com, did not receive flattering reviews and failed to match the success of its predecessor. Several singles became minor hits, including "Whatareya?" (which attempted to divide Australian men into two categories - "yobs" and "wankers") and "Thunderbirds are Coming Out". A third single, "I Might Be a C***, but I'm Not a F****** C***", was released, but, not surprisingly, was not picked up by radio. ____________________________________________________________________ Now to the lyrics: Ol' Man River: I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix I saw his body thrashing 'round I saw his pulse rate going down I saw him in compulsive throws I said "I'll have one of those" Hilary had, Hilary had Hilary had it in his veins Hilary had Everest in his veins Armstrong did moon, was not the same Heroes explore to give us hope River pushed back the envelope Drank the slab, drank the slab Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk I injected some of Hendrix's junk I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane Mama Cass' sandwich? I ate the same Now I'm bored, now I'm bored Now I'm bored and there's no stoppin' Now I'm bored and there's no stoppin' I need another celeb to fill a coffin Where will I get my next drug action? Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix I'm on the drug Greg! The Stop Sign!! The guy who slagged the football team - Those yobs were not for him Turns into a real estate agent Who believes in discipline; That guy who's the first to use cocaine, The wild boy breaking free, Ends up in a court of law As a prosecuting QC; Remember the school captain? - Success was a matter of time; I can hear her now as she screams, 'Greg! You missed the stop sign!' Forget Snoop Doggy Dogg Forget ol' Ice T The true word out on the street Is produced by the TAC What good's the use of striving? As life's road in front unravels We get to do the driving But don't choose the direction we travel. Do your homework, or wag for weeks And graffiti the Dandenong line; It don't matter when you hear that scream: 'Greg! You missed the stop sign!' Some time in the next hundred thousand years A comet's gonna wipe out all trace of Man - I'm banking on it coming before My end of year exam. The rich kid becomes a junkie The poor kid an advertiser What a tragic waste of potential - Being a junkie's not so good either. Your folks struggled hard for what you've got, You are the fruit of their vine; But who cares what you sow when what you reap Is: 'Greg! You missed the stop sign!' Bought a car just the other day Man could that baby run But you know what they always say: There's always a better one. Got a tumour in my brain Its creeping to my lungs And I've searched around in vain Can't find me a better one. Hardwired into everyone's head Is the person they're gonna be Growing up ain't a matter of choice It's a matter of wait and see. And so kids, yeah, you can do it! You can do your best Girls can do anything You can pass the test I'm OK, you're OK, We're all right, we're fine I thought I saw a semi-trailer Greg! You missed the stop sign! Thunderbirds Are Coming Out I was my parents' puppet till my teenage years When I rebelled and swapped them for my peers I used to sit for hours all alone Without an opinion to call my own I had to keep this compulsion to myself This need to be like everybody else But now I'm out of the closet and I feel free Cos I just saw Thunderbirds on TV Yes I've been outed and I'm so happy I've found a role model just for me I think I could be like those puppet guys Cos there's less to them than meets the eye 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Sing if you're proud to be plastic now... 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Thunderbirds are coming out Now I don't have to worry about a thing As long as someone else is pulling my strings My pop star can tell me what to know I can get my political views from my youth radio I can join the queues outside restaurant chains Now I can do the Mexican Wave Just tell me what's in and I'll make sure I fit Just herd me into that mosh pit Whatareya You're a yob or you're a wanker - Take your f**king choice So who is your favourite genius James Hird or James Joyce? You ever seen a live performance? Join the wanker club You thought I meant table top dancing? You're a yobbo, bub What are ya? Yob or wanker? Wankers once used mobile phones But now that's sorta changing And yobs once lived in cottage homes - Ain't social change amazing? If a yob and wanker want a girl The wanker guy will get her - Both of them are equally ugly But the wanker hides it better What are ya? Yob or wanker? A wanker fights inequality And for people's rights; A wanker fights class prejudice A yobbo just fights Yob or wanker - wanker or yob Pass me the brush to tar ya: Make your choice then live your life; Come on pal, what are ya? (There's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite She slagged Helen Garner, he said "You're right" He shook his dreadlocks and condemned Wayne Carey She offered him tofu; both were quite hairy - There's gonna be sex tonight Interval at the theatre - they both hit it off Discussing the meaning of Anton Chekhov; The director they hated, the actress? - they panned her; What they acted out later weren't exactly Uncle Vania On the deck of the boat she pointed out east Said "A whale is in fact an air breathing beast" He really liked nature; he was out of the slammer He had a gram of cocaine and a video camera He was knocking on doors; she was watchin' television He said "Money for the kids? I'm collecting for World Vision" Her heart was full of pity for a world full of grief He donated to a charity she called Hand Relief Links: TISM Official Site Official TISM Site #2 Shock Records - TISM Now to the songs. I order you to obtain the following TISM songs: Ol' Man River Greg! The Stop Sign!! The Penis Is Mightier Than The Sword The Ballad Of The Semitic Nazi Defecate On My Face If You're Creative, Get Stuffed Saturday Night Palsy I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt The Parable Of Glenn McGrath's Haircut Thunderbirds Are Coming Out Whatareya? Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown All Homeboys Are Dickheads Jung Talent Time What Nationality Is Les Murray? I Drive A Truck Get Thee To A Nunnery Lillee Caught Dilley Bowled Milli Vanilli That is all. Tell all your associates about TISM. First step, World Domination.

Legion Of Boom by The Crystal Method. Best tracks: Weapons Of Mass Distortion Born Too Slow Starting Over I Know It's You

Jessica Simpson at #1? Am I the only person who thinks she looks like a man? And Brody Dalle, don't even get me started on her. She shouldn't even be in the top 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. Sorry Keith.

I thought it was time for another one of these. You know the rules. Just turn this picture into something humorous.

I bet you're jizzing over that last picture already Sean! For those that don't want to click that link (and I don't blame them) here is the last picture: Isn't that the greatest Photoshop image manipulation you've ever seen?

For you Mr Clawson: http://jasonkill.com/hermione/index.htm

Kate Beckingsale Keira Knightly

I have to agree with Beatnik. I didn't even last halfway through the second song. Lucky I didn't buy it.

RIP Ray, a great man and music legend.