CZW - To The Top of the Wrestling World

[TheRyno]

CZW Best of the Best 5: Ca$h Explosion!

PPV Report From the New Alhambra Arena in Philadelphia, PA

May 22, 2005

The Pay-Per-View opens up with a sweet CZW music video before ending with a pre-taped segment of all the Best of the Best competitors posing in the ring together for a group photo. In a nice touch, they seperated all four members of Team Ca$h. After the video, we get a few camera shots of the crowd before going up to Eric Gargiulo and John House in the Eagle's Nest over looking the crowd in the New Alhambra Arena (better known as the former ECW Arena).

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Best of the Best 5. Alongside John House, I'm Eric Gargiulo and if this is your first exposure to CZW, sit down because you're in for one hell of a thrill ride. If you're a long-time fan of CZW, you know the deal with Best of the Best. We take a group of some of the best independent talent and have them go through a grueling tournament to find out who really is the Best of the Best."

Suddenly, Zandig's music hits the PA system and Zandig walks out to the ring, still bandaged from his Barbed Wire match against The Messiah last month.

"I hate to say this but thank god for John Zandig. Because if he wasn't gonna interrupt your long-winded spiel, I was gonna."

Zandig takes a mike and well...transcripting a Zandig promo is kinda useless. He pretty much went over the same stuff that Gargiulo did, put over the talent and said this PPV will send CZW "straight to the mutha-fuckin' top!"

Best of the Best First Round Match

Christian York over Angel and Jonny Storm to advance to the Semi-Finals

Before the match, Garguilo went over the rules of the First Round matches, the main one being that the person who gets the pin will be the only one to advance. In this case, York got the pin and therefore advances. York and Storm had some pretty good exchanges, one of which spilled to the outside where Angel hit both of them with a somersault senton from the top turnbuckle! Angel threw York inside the ring to get the pin but York kicked out. Rick Feinberg came out to help Angel but he only served as a distraction for York to hit the Onion Buster and get the pin.

"What the hell was Feinberg doing at ringside? This is supposed to be a competition, dammit!"

"Normally, I'd commend a manager helping his guy get the win. But Rick Feinberg is such a scumbag that I can't get behind anything he does."

Best of the Best First Round Match

Jimmy Rave over Jack Evans and Shawn Daivari to advance to the Semi-Finals

Solid match between all three men, particularly Daivari, who most fans are more accustomed to him being a mouthpiece than an actual wrestler. At one point, Daivari went under the ring and Gargiulo and House went crazy thinking he was going to pull out a weapon. Instead, he pulled out a Persian Rug and went to the top rope for his famous Magic Carpet Ride. But Evans met Daivari at the pass and threw him off the top. Evans then went to the top rope himself and hit Daivari with the 630 Moonsault! Evans went for the pin while the crowd chanted "Holy shit!" but the pin was broken up by a running knee to Evans' face from Rave. The knee was enough for Evans to get knocked out and Rave to get the pin and advance.

"I don't know about you but I consider this an upset. Not to discredit Rave but, in many circles, Jack Evans was the favorite to win the whole tournament, let alone the first match!"

"That goes to show you how quickly the tides can change here in CZW."

Best of the Best First Round Match

Mike Quackenbush over Kendo Ka Shin and Ryan Sakoda to advance to the Semi-Finals

Sakoda looked different than what WWE fans remember him, shaving off his beard and going back to looking like Masato Tanaka wearing Tajiri's pants. The match wasn't bad, just uneventful. Quack actually got both men to submit to some weird double submission hold, which was cool.

"I think we're looking at a dark horse in this tournament in Mike Quackenbush. He can fly AND put on lethal submissions like the one you've just seen."

"I don't know. It depends if he can get an opportunity to slap on one of those holds and with the speed and caliber of the talent in this tournament, I don't know if he can get that opening."

Best of the Best First Round Match

Nate Webb over Chris Ca$h, JC Bailey and Sexxxy Eddy to advance to the Semi-Finals

Before the match started, Nate Webb got on the mike.

"Chris, I know you're sick of JC's bullshit. But quite frankly, me and Eddy are sick of YOUR bullshit! You wanna break up Team Ca$h? Fine. But this shit is between you two. If you want us to wrestle, tag us in."

With that, Webb and Eddy went to opposite corners of the ring while Ca$h and JC stared each other down. Suddenly, Ca$h turned around and slapped Webb in the face, tagging him in. JC said he only wanted to wrestle Ca$h so he tagged Eddy in. Webb and Eddy wrestled for a few minutes before stopping and tagging both Ca$h and JC at the same time, forcing them to square off. They wrestled for a few minutes before it deteriorating into an all-out brawl. It got to the point where JC and Ca$h brawled through the crowd, leaving Webb and Eddy in the ring shrugging their shoulders. After the initial confusion, Webb and Eddy got back to wrestling. The end came when Webb came off the top turnbuckle with a spinning splash onto Eddy.

"It's a shame that Team Ca$h had to break up over such petty circumstances."

"I don't know. Something's telling me that this isn't over between all of them."

Best of the Best Semi-Final Match

Christian York over Jimmy Rave to advance to the Finals

Best match of the night thus far. Even though York is still young, he's considered a veteran of the independent scene. And while the rising star of Jimmy Rave had decent control of the match, York was able to take one hole in Rave's offense (the re-use of the running knee) and turn it into a win (grabbing it and turning it into a modified Indian Deathlock for the submission).

"It was tough going for a bit there but congratulations to Christian York for advancing to the Final match of Best of the Best 5!"

"Yeah, now we get to see who the opponent will be."

Best of the Best Semi-Final Match

Mike Quackenbush over Nate Webb to advance to the Finals

This match didn't take long to end. Webb was still a bit tired due to only having a one-match break and Quack took liberties with Webb by wearing him down even more with a few holds before cinching in a Mexican Surfboard hold which Webb had no choice but to tap out to.

"No disrespect to Nate Webb but you might as well have given Quack a bye!"

"The next match will give both Mike Quackenbush and Christian York a break but you can't help but think that Quack will have a bit of an advantage going into the Finals."

CZW Tag Team Championship Match

S.B.S. (Super Dragon and Excalibur) over Mexico's Most Wanted (Damien 666 and Halloween) to become NEW CZW Tag Team Champions!

S.B.S. (particularly Excalibur) carry over pay-per-view well and MMW are definately talented enough to keep the fans entertained as well so this match was a decent watch. Of course, it wasn't without controversy. Damien had Excalibur by the legs and spun him around the ring, setting him up for Montezuma's Revenge. But before Halloween could deliver the finishing dropkick, Super Dragon ran in and gave Halloween a spinning forearm. Damien let go of Excalibur and stumbled dizzily around the ring, which gave Excalibur the opening for a schoolboy pin...with his feet on the ropes. The bell rang and Super Dragon yanked the Tag belts from the timekeeper. Excalibur cradled his belt like a baby and Dragon held his high before walking to the back while MMW stayed in the ring arguing with the ref.

"This is an outrage! S.B.S. stole another one and for the Tag Team titles, no less! Super Dragon and Excalibur are great wrestlers. They didn't need to cheat to win the titles!"

"Of course they didn't have to, but they wanted to! Guys, I know a great place that'll give you a ton of cash for those belts!"

"Would you shut up?"

Best of the Best Final Match

Mike Quackenbush over Christian York to WIN Best of the Best 5!

Everyone expected Quack to have a large advantage over York due to having such a fast Semi-Final match but York made sure that he put up a fight. Quack even pulled out a few high-flying moves to counter some of York's but York got the upper-hand in that department. Finally, Quack decided to bring York down to the mat, which took longer than he thought. It took a good while for Quack to wear York down since York surely didn't want to give up his chance to be named Best of the Best. But as Quack held York's head in a legscissors, York couldn't fight it off and his arm ended up dropping three times, awarding the match to Quackenbush. While Quack celebrated in the ring, York rolled out of the ring and grabbed the Best of the Best trophy so he could award it to Quack himself. York even went as far to try to lift the winner on his shoulders but was too tired. So the rest of the participants came out and all of them lifted Quackenbush up high together to end the show.

Final Thoughts: As much as I like Quack and think he's a deserving winner, I'm sure a lot of people watching the PPV new to CZW thought "Who the hell is this guy?" Oddly enough, the worst match on the show was the one that was hyped the most - the Team Ca$h four-way. It started out well, with the tagging and all, but by the time Ca$h and JC decided to brawl, it kinda just grinded the show to a halt. Luckily York's match with Rave picked it back up. And I'm glad that S.B.S. are tag champs but MMW's only had the belt for a little over a month. What gives?

[Guest Eiji Ezaki]

Very good show, I like how you have Garguilo and House bits between the matches, that's really cool. I also like where you're taking this Team Cash fued. The only problem is, I would've liked to see Jimmy Rave pushed ver Quack, that's just my opinion though.

Edited December 2, 2005 by Eiji Ezaki

[TheRyno]

CZWrestling.com Press Release for May 23, 2005 - Best of the Best 5 Aftermath.

-Congratulations to "Lightning" Mike Quackenbush for becoming the winner of Best of the Best 5! Even though he's the leader of CHIKARA and the head trainer of the CHIKARA Wrestle Factory, he told CZWrestling.com that he considers winning Best of the Best 5 a proverbial feather in the cap of his career. We know he's worked hard throughout the years to become the consummate professional and we feel that things are only going to get better for the Quack!

-Afterwards, there was a big party backstage celebrating Quackenbush's win, consisting of most of the competitors. Notable by their abscences were Chris Ca$h and JC Bailey, who could still be fighting throughout Philly for all we know!

-Two other men who weren't happy with their Best of the Best performance were Damien 666 and Halloween, Mexico's Most Wanted. La Familia leader Nicho El Milionario dropped by to calm the former Tag Team champions down after Super Dragon and Excalibur stole the belts from them. Nicho told CZWrestling.com, through a translator, that the S.B.S. will pay next month.

-Finally, thank you to all of the fans that not only attended Best of the Best 5 live but ordered it on Pay-Per-View. It's to early to find out the final numbers but whether or not a ton of people ordered it, we still feel Best of the Best 5 was a success!

[Guest Eiji Ezaki]

The Match WWE Was Afraid To Book!

Rico vs Gene Snitsky

The Match A Certain "Xtreme" Promotion Was Afraid To Book!

"The Hardcore Homo" Angel w/Rick Feinberg vs Kaos

The Briscoe Brothers (Mark and Jay Briscoe) vs ROH's Generation NeXt (Jack Evans and Roderick Strong)

CZW Tag Team Champions S.B.S. (Super Dragon and Excalibur) vs La Familia De Tijuana's Nicho El Milionario vs ???

If Nicho and his Mystery Partner win, Mexico's Most Wanted get a Tag Title shot next month!

CZW Jr. Heavyweight Title Match

Sonjay Dutt © vs Best of the Best 5 Winner Mike Quackenbush

Six-Man Mayhem!

Zandig/Nate Hatred/Wifebeater vs Messiah/Justice Pain/Nick Gage

[TheRyno]

CZW No Rules, No Limits

Fan Report From The New Alhambra Arena in Philadelphia, PA

June 12, 2005

Adam Flash over El Generico

I figured Generico would go over since Flash is one of the guys who ragged on the new CZW management and got suspended for it. Then again, I think I just plain wanted Generico to go over anyways. And I wanted to see the top-rope BRAINBUSTAH!! dammit! I bet they just gave him the easy dark match win just to keep him happy.

Generation NeXt (Jack Evans and Roderick Strong) over The Briscoes (Mark and Jay Briscoe)

Another shocker. Considering the winning team was from ROH, I figured the home team would prevail. And I thought they would as Evans pretty much played Ricky Morton the whole match. Then he got the hot tag and Roderick backbreaker'd everyone into oblivion before letting Evans hit an insane twisty splash from the top for the win.

Kaos over Angel

Kaos came out to the ring STILL ranting to the fans about getting screwed, even though he beat Nicho two months ago. But Angel obliged by bending over and showing him his...nevermind. This is actually a first, sorta , considering where these two wrestled previously. I may be outing myself by saying this but they've only wrestled each other twice: once in a gauntlet match and once briefly in a War Games match before everyone else came out. Yeah, I watched XPW. So sue me. Anyways, all the fans wanted to see them face off one-on-one since they were pretty much the only talented original wrestlers XPW churned out but it never happened. Now, we finally get that chance and we have to deal with fuckin' Rick Feinberg. Great. And of course, he had to go and ruin a perfectly good match when he got up on the apron to yell at Kaos. Angel went to charge Kaos but Kaos ducked, causing Angel to put on the brakes. It looked like Angel and RF were gonna make out but thankfully Kaos put a stop to that by picking up Angel and dropping him with his Shooting Star Ganso-Bomb for the win.

CZW Jr. Heavyweight Title Match

Mike Quackenbush over Sonjay Dutt © to become the NEW CZW Jr. Heavyweight Champion!

Quack is definately on a roll. Not only did he go through three men at Best of the Best but he beat Sonjay tonight for the belt a few weeks later. Dutt and Quack put on a great high-flying clinic but in the end, Quack slapped on one of his famed submissions and Dutt had no choice but to tap. Dutt, like York, did the right thing by handing Quack the belt himself and raising his hand in victory.

CZW Tag Team Champions S.B.S. walk out to the ring. Excalibur has a mike while Super Dragon has the belt on under his robe and gets ready for the match. Excalibur cuts a pretty racist promo but hey, he's from So-Cal and "those guys" are everywhere! It gets to the point where Nicho El Milionario comes out with a mike of his own and cuts a promo...in Spanish! Excalibur just kinda makes goofy faces throughout the promo before interrupting him by yelling "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!?" But Nicho didn't have to speak to introduce his Mystery Partner for the night and the newest member of La Familia De Tijuana: L.A. Par-K!! When Par-K came out to the ring with his trusty chair, Excalibur's jaw almost hit the floor.

Non-Title Match

Nicho El Milionario and L.A. Par-K over CZW Tag Team Champions S.B.S. (Super Dragon and Excalibur)

Even though Excalibur couldn't believe it, Super Dragon was all about facing L.A. Par-K. And Par-K obliged by damn near knocking out Dragon with a chair. Meanwhile, Excalibur tried to run to the back but Nicho wasn't having any of that. Dragon saved Excalibur from a beating a few times but the end came when Dragon was hit with ANOTHER chair shot before taking a top-rope Guillotine Legdrop from Nicho. After Nicho got the pinfall, he waved to the back and out came Mexico's Most Wanted. All four members of La Familia went under the ring to get tables to put Dragon and Excalibur on. Damien and Halloween went to the top and both came off with splashes through the tables for a huge pop from the crowd. All of them celebrated now that MMW will get a rematch with the Tag titles on the line next month!

Rico over Gene Snitsky

I like to think they booked this match not to show up WWE but to keep Snitsky busy so he won't interfere in the main event. But after seeing this match, I think there's plenty of reasons that WWE never booked this match: the main reason being...Gene Snitsky. I also like to think that Rico defeated Snitsky by outsmarting him and getting an upset over the larger competitor. But I really think Rico won due to Snitsky's ineptitude as a wrestler. Thank God that Rico's a capable wrestler to carry Snitsky, otherwise this match would've really sucked. Oh yeah, Snitsky went all 'roidal and beat down Rico after the match, forcing security to pull him off.

CZW World Champion The Messiah came out with The Dew and The New H8 Club. All four men are absolutely happy to the point where Dewey even came out with a party hat and noisemaker. Messiah takes the mike:

"I never thought I'd see the day where I'd see Zandig out of CZW! I figured it'd take me years to get rid of him but the old-ass bastard did it himself yesterday! Whether he ripped his tricep, pulled his groin or was just scared of me kicking his ass again, it doesn't matter. The point is he's gone and now we can run this place!"

Suddenly, he's interrupted by the tune of "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down and out comes Chris Hero with a mike of his own!

"Never fear! The Savior of CZW is here! And no, Messiah, you're not the savior. That title belongs to Chris Hero because I will bring CZW out of the gutter and propel it to greatness! I'm not like you guys, coming out and bragging just because Zandig is gone. I'm coming out here because I want an opportunity that the brass in CZW wouldn't give me otherwise. You see, for CZW to evolve from a company full of random assholes bashing each other with lighttubes into a legit wrestling company, you need a capable wrestler as your World Champion! And only a true Savior can be World Champion, not a false messiah like you. And if you four dumbasses didn't figure it out yet, I am replacing Zandig in the six-man tag! Yes, I'll stoop to your garbage wrestling level if it means a title shot in the future for one Chris Hero. So Wifebeater, Nate Hatred, get out here because we have some asses to kick tonight!"

Finally, Wifebeater and Nate come out but they start to argue with Hero a bit, wondering if they can trust him. Hero assures them and all three men slide to the ring to start the brawl!

Wifebeater/Nate Hatred/Chris Hero over Messiah/Justice Pain/Nick Gage

Really, there's no way to recap a six-man tag from CZW. All six men fought all over ringside...well, five. Hero stayed out of the fray most of the match, only to lock on some holds to wear someone down at opportune moments. But the end was pretty stellar. It got to the point where Messiah was thrown into the ring to face Chris Hero who had a chair. Messiah got down on his knees and begged Hero not to hit him. Hero reared back but suddenly dropped the chair and locked Messiah into a cravate instead! The crowd had a hearty laugh from that. But then Wifebeater slid into the ring after he and Nate had put Pain and Gage out. Hero saw this, let go of the cravate and threw Messiah to Wifebeater who hit him with a Chokenstein for the win! Messiah and The New H8 Club scurried to the back while the faces celebrated their win. Wifebeater and Hatred shook hands with Hero for helping them win the match and Hero made the motion of the belt around his waist, signaling his intent on winning the CZW World title.

Final Thoughts: Best show of the year thus far and that's including Best of the Best. I figured they would've scrambled and hoped for a decent show after Zandig got injured but after a while, you forgot he was gone. Hero returns to go after Messiah's title, L.A. Par-K debuts, Quack wins the Jr. title and solid matches from Generation NeXt, The Briscoes, Angel and Kaos made for a good show that may end up even better once Smart Mark Video releases it. The only real downer of the night was Rico vs Snitsky but the crowd even got into that one. Maybe if I can suspend my disbelief into Snitsky not sucking, I would've got into it too. If we keep getting shows like this one, they'll rebound from losing money off the Best of the Best PPV in no time.

[TheRyno]

CZWrestling.com Press Release for June 14, 2006 - No Rules Aftermath, Unfortunate Briscoe News, Big News On The Way!

-Word going around the CZW locker room is that Zandig is pissed off at Chris Hero taking his spot in the six-man tag at No Rules, No Limits a few days back. Zandig, like a lot of us, was under the assumption that Hero quit CZW at Cage of Death 6 never to be seen again, only for him to come back a few months later when the boss is out with an injury. After talking with Wifebeater and Nate Hatred though, he agreed to the age-old adage "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" and figured that Messiah is a bigger threat to CZW than Chris Hero. While Zandig and Hero may not like each other, they do share a common enemy now and while he may not get a "Hero's Welcome" from Zandig, it is enough for Zandig to accept his return to CZW.

-The day after losing to Generation NeXt at No Rules, No Limits, Jay Briscoe came to CZW Management and revealed that he's been battling an alcohol problem. He came to us for help and we have decided that the best way to help him would be to send him to rehab. We wish Jay Briscoe all the luck in the world for him to beat his addiction.

-There hasn't been much in the way of noteworthy news after No Rules, No Limits. But we are working out some deals that, if they come through, will turn July 2005 into a great starting point for the new era in CZW. Stay tuned to CZWrestling.com for more updates.

[TheRyno]

CZWrestling.com Press Release for July 1, 2005 - Huge News: Both Good and Bad!

-First of all, we'll start this huge press release off with some good news: Fake You! TV will return in July! We have struck a deal with the World Wrestling Network to air Fake You! TV in Prime Time every Tuesday night. The bad news of this is that WWN is based mainly in Europe. Though we have very strong fanbases in places like Italy and Germany and we'll garner a solid amount of viewers with each show, this really doesn't do anything for our fanbase in America. But CZW is known for turning negatives into positives. For one, this means more live events as we will run TV tapings in the New Alhambra Arena every Monday night in addition to our large events once a month. Also, we have struck an agreement with Smart Mark Video who will sell the episodes on VHS and DVD. Plus, we will have the Match of the Week available for download or streaming video at CZWrestling.com. Stay tuned for the inaugural line-up for the return of Fake You! TV, premiering July 5 on WWN.

-We continue with more good news as we have signed more wrestlers to exclusive written contracts. The wrestlers who have signed on to compete solely for CZW are:

Angel

Chris Hero

Gene Snitsky

Jonny Storm

L.A. Par-K

Mike Quackenbush

Nate Webb

The Dew

Adam Flash

Kendo Kashin

Chris Ca$h

-Unfortunately, due to CZW losing money from their pay-per-view venture, we have cut the following wrestlers from our roster:

Kevin Steen

Larry Sweeney

Derek Frazier

DJ Hyde

Dan Maff

Ghost Shadow

JC Bailey

Jimmy Rave

Maven Bentley

Robby Mireno

Sabian

Ryan Sakoda

Shawn Daivari

Spyral

Some cuts were due to bad attitudes or low morale. Some were due to obligations from other companies. Some were due to wrestlers needing more experience. As with all of our roster cuts (and there may be more on the way), this doesn't mean we'll never see them in CZW again. We'll be keeping an eye on them and when we feel someone has improved enough, we won't hesitate in hiring them back. We wish the best of luck to all of these wrestlers in their future endeavors.

-To end our press release, we send condolences to the owners and wrestlers of IWA Mid-South and the International Wrestling Syndicate as those companies have sadly gone bankrupt. While a few other companies have gone bankrupt in recent months, we feel IWA-MS and IWS have left a giant mark on independent wrestling history by putting on the best shows possible and they will be sorely missed.

[Guest Eiji Ezaki]

Very nice to see Fake You TV making a return. It's ashame you had to release Steen, Sweeney, Maff, Bailey and Rave though. I would've liked to see you do something with these guys. Very cool that you managed to get Eddy, Hero and Jonny Storm to work exclusively for you, these guys can really benefit any company!

[TheRyno]

I had to let go of Steen and Sweeney due to low morale. I let go of Maff and Rave because they were working for ROH, who were larger than me at the time, so I couldn't sign them to a Written like I wanted to. Plus I figured it'd be a matter of time before they left me anyways. Bailey was kinda sad because his stats sucked in the game. As you can tell, I used him pretty often but he pretty much brought down everyone he worked with. It was really sad because he was pretty much my least over worker with only 8 overness! But don't worry, some of those guys will be back. It might be a while but they'll be back.

[ZAK416]

I've just got back around to reading your diary again man. I'm really sorry to hear that the PPV didn't do to well and you had to cut all the talent. However, I do see this as a time for you to push new stars and find that diamond in the rough so to speak. Great to hear the good news that you got Fake You TV back, and just for the heck of it:

Adam Flash vs Nick Berk

Gene Snitsky vs Jonny Storm

Chris Ca$h and Nate Webb vs Nate Hatred and Wifebeater

Mike Quackenbush defends the CZW Jr. Heavyweight Championship against El Generico

Simple I know, but at least maybe Ill get a show right.

[Guest Eiji Ezaki]

I had to let go of Steen and Sweeney due to low morale. I let go of Maff and Rave because they were working for ROH, who were larger than me at the time, so I couldn't sign them to a Written like I wanted to. Plus I figured it'd be a matter of time before they left me anyways. Bailey was kinda sad because his stats sucked in the game. As you can tell, I used him pretty often but he pretty much brought down everyone he worked with. It was really sad because he was pretty much my least over worker with only 8 overness! But don't worry, some of those guys will be back. It might be a while but they'll be back.

[thesaintv7]

I'm not a CZW fan but decided to read your diary out of interest, i've got to say this is a very good diary.

The write ups are not too long and what I like is that you've kept things realistic. Like with the PPV bombing and costing you a ton of money, you made some roster cuts instead of using Arsenic.

Keep it going!

[TheRyno]

I don't use Arsenic. I would rather have things go wrong which will force me to find another way to make things work instead of having things going my way through the whole game. That's boring to me. So my CZW game is Arsenic-free and I'll touch on things in my diary that'll reflect how I'll work around certain events.

Oh yeah, the first episode of Fake You! TV should be up soon. Sorry for the wait.

[TheRyno]

CZW Fake You! TV Report

July 5, 2005

The show opens with Eric Garguilo and John House in the Eagle's Nest of the New Alhambra Arena overlooking the ring and the fans, welcoming all the viewers in Europe and on Smart Mark Video to the return of Fake You! TV. And we get things started with:

Nick Berk over Adam Flash

The match was decently wrestled but they didn't get much reaction except from the CZW die-hard fans. Berk got some heat as he's now doing some sort of Kurt Angle-wannabe gimmick, I guess. Berk even went as far as putting on the Ankle Lock for the submission victory.

CZW Jr. Heavyweight Title Match

Mike Quackenbush © over El Generico to retain

Fun match that perfectly blended comedy and high-flying. The match didn't last too long as Generico went for the top-rope Brainbuster early on. The kicker was that Quack held on to the top turnbuckle and let Generico fall on his ass in the corner. While Generico was getting to his feet, Quack jumped off the top with a double-stomp onto his back and then hooked in a Lightning Lock for the win. But the real action happened after the match as Ruckus walked out to the ring with a microphone, interrupting Quack's celebration.

"Yo, yo, yo white boy! I don't know what you're doing but it looks like you're parading around the ring with MY belt. Everyone in this building knows that it was me who made that belt what it is today. In my eyes, I'm the contender and you're just a pretender. You're just lucky that the morons running this company sent my Blackout homeboys packing or else you'd get the ass beating of a lifetime."

By this time, Quack had enough and took a mike of his own from the timekeeper's table.

"Oh, I'm lucky, am I? Let me guess, you desperately want to cry about how your 'homeboys' got fired but I guess you're still standing! You're still strong! Am I right? You know something, I've been on the roll of my life and I'm feeling a bit generous. If you want your belt back, how about you come and take it from me next week on Fake You! TV?"

The crowd cheers as this announcement and Ruckus is shaking his head yes so it looks like another title match is on for next week!

Nate Hatred and Wifebeater over Chris Ca$h and Nate Webb

Ca$h and Webb came out to the ring glaring at each other and were obviously not on the same page. For most of the match, Nate and Wifebeater would take turns pounding on Webb before Ca$h would conveniently tag himself in, only to meet the same fate. After only a minute or so of torture, Ca$h tagged the beaten-down Webb back in. Understandably, Webb didn't want back in the match just yet so he argued with Ca$h in the corner, which left him open for a spike powerbomb from the monsters and when Hatred pinned Webb, Ca$h didn't even bother to break it. To add insult to injury, Ca$h yelled at Webb for not winning the match and stormed off. What the hell is Chris Ca$h's problem?

After a commercial break, Kaos came out to the ring and cut a brief promo about being the "greatest CZW wrestler ever" and not having a match on their return to TV. So he issued an open challenge to anyone in the back while Eric Garguilo nearly blew a vessel in his neck yelling about how this wasn't in the format. Out came Christian York and the impromptu match was on!

Kaos over Christian York

Best match of the night by far. Both men went hold-for-hold with each other. Kaos really is an underrated wrestler, it's a shame that he's known more for his cheating than his wrestling, just like tonight. York went up to the top rope and hit a cross-body splash, yet Kaos rolled through and grabbed the tights to get the cheap victory. Once the bell rang, Kaos jumped out of the ring and celebrated to the back while York argued with the ref.

Backstage, Nate Hatred and Wifebeater celebrated their win over Nate Webb and Chris Ca$h when out of nowhere, they get jumped by The New H8 Club, Justice Pain and Nick Gage. Pain and Gage worked them over with chairs before leaving them on the floor in a bloody heap.

Gene Snitsky over Jonny Storm

Wow, what a mis-match. Storm tried working over Snitsky with some punches to no effect. So he decided to go up top and tried hitting him with a Dragonrana. No dice as Snitsky caught him and powerbombed him for the win. Shortest main event ever. Afterwards, Snitsky went apeshit and beat on the much smaller Storm to a chorus of boos. Snitsky only stopped when CZW World Champion The Messiah ran out and told him to go to the corner. As Storm was helped to the back, The Messiah cut a promo about how Chris Hero would never get a chance at the CZW World title. And right on cue, "Kryptonite" played and out came Chris Hero with a mike of his own.

"It's funny that you say I'll never get a title shot. You know, Zandig may not be a smart man. He may not even be a talented man, but he knows what the people want. So he and I had a little heart-to-heart chat and we both came to the conclusion that the people don't want to see you hold the belt any longer than you have already. So, what I have in my hand here is a contract that says I get a CZW World title shot against you at No Excuses on July 24 and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it. Better yet, Roid Boy over there is banned from ringside as well! So get that belt nice and shiny because in a few weeks, it'll be around the waist of the REAL Savior of CZW, Chris Hero!"

Messiah starts yelling and ironically Snitsky has to calm him down as the show ends.

Final Thoughts: Nice way to start things off. I guess Chris Ca$h will be feuding with Nate Webb instead of the recently cut JC Bailey. I think that'll work out better anyways. Webb and Ca$h have great characters. Quack vs Ruckus next week should rule. Kaos and York pulled out a sleeper match as always. The only real negative was the main event but I think it was booked more as a set-up to Messiah/Hero instead of as a real match.

CZWrestling.com Press Release for July 7, 2005 - Preview for next week's Fake You! TV.

-First of all, we'd like everyone who came out to the Fake You! TV taping on July 4th. We understand it was a big holiday but we still got a decent turn out. We'd also like to thank everyone who watched the show on WWN as we earned a 1.00 rating, the highest possible rating we can get on WWN. Thank you for your support!

-Don't forget to watch the Match of the Week on CZWrestling.com - Kaos vs Christian York!

-Here's what's on tap for Fake You! TV next week:

The first match signed for this week came about when Ruckus interrupted CZW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Mike Quackenbush's victory over El Generico last week. Ruckus staked a claim to the title and Quack made the challenge right then and there. How different will Ruckus act now that he doesn't have the Blackout to back him up anymore? This should be a great one-on-one encounter between the current Jr. Heavyweight Champion and one of the greatest former champions in CZW history and there won't be anyone around to ruin it.

Another match signed will pit the The New H8 Club, Justice Pain and Nick Gage, against the #1 Contenders to the CZW Tag Team titles, Mexico's Most Wanted. While the #1 Contendership will not be on the line, this match will still be chaotic, especially since Nate Hatred and Wifebeater will want some payback after the attack they suffered at the hands of Pain and Gage next week, not to mention the CZW Tag Team Champions, S.B.S., getting involved as well.

Nate Webb has requested a forum to speak on his odd situation with Chris Ca$h and CZW Management has granted him that forum next week on Fake You! TV. What exactly is going on inside the head of Chris Ca$h?

Also, what is Messiah's reaction after being forced to defend the title at No Excuses against Chris Hero, and without the backup of Gene Snitsky to boot?

All this and more as Sexxxy Eddy will face Kendo Kashin and L.A. Par-K will square off against Rico! Come see it live at the New Alhambra Arena on July 11 or, for our European fans, watch it on WWN on July 12!

[TheRyno]

CZW Fake You! TV Report

July 12, 2005

Sexxxy Eddy over Kendo Kashin

Decent opening match, though nothing special. Eddy's male stripper act kept the fans entertained...somehow. You know, for a bunch of anti-gay fans, they REALLY like Eddy. Kashin actually controlled most of the match but got distracted by Eddy's gyrating antics and fell victim to a SexxxyPlex.

After both Eddy and Kendo went to the back, Nate Webb came out with a microphone.

"I'm sure most of you are wondering what's going on with Chris Ca$h. To tell you the truth, I'd like to know that myself. So Chris, I'm calling you out right now. I think I, and these fans, deserve an explanation."

Chris Ca$h comes out with a microphone of his own and jumps into the ring, cutting a promo while staring down Webb.

"An explanation? Why should I give you an explanation for what's been going on? Hell, why are you even pinning this stuff on me? You're the one that lost the match last week."

"That's because you didn't help me!"

"Why should I help you? You should be thanking me that I'm allowing you to ride on my coattails! That backwoods retard JC Bailey thought he was better than me and look at him now! Jobless! Penniless! Homeless! And if you don't watch your mouth, you're gonna end up the same way!"

With that statement, Webb had enough and slapped the taste out of Ca$h's mouth! Ca$h looked surprised but that quickly changed as he rained punches down on Webb's head. It escalated into a fight that went up the aisle and back into the locker room before cutting for an ad break.

After the ad break, we see Sexxxy Eddy celebrating his win over Kendo Kashin by bumping and grinding in front of a mirror in the locker room. Suddenly, he stops, looks in the mirror and turns around, revealing Rico standing behind him.

"Uhhhhh...how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to watch you hump that mirror, you weirdo. Anyways, that's not what I'm here about. I'm here because I just watched your match and I enjoyed it. Kinda reminded me a lot of myself, actually. I think you have a lot of potential but you need some work. If you just follow me, I think we can work those kinks out."

"Wow, that's a compli...wait a minute, did you say 'kink'? Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Rico?"

"Jesus! Just because Vince gives someone a bad gimmick doesn't mean they're gay! You know what? You don't want my help? You want to open shows all your life? Fine by me! I was just trying to be nice but screw that!"

"Whoa! Sorry Mr. Rico. I'd really appreciate the help. Of course I'll follow you."

"Good. First things first, sit back here and watch how a pro dispatches of a wrestler like L.A. Par-K."

"What then Mr. Rico?"

"Quit calling me 'Mr. Rico'?"

"You got it, Mr. Rico."

Rico slaps his forehead and walks out of the room to prepare for his upcoming match. And once he figures the coast is clear, Eddy goes back to grinding on the mirror.

CZW Jr. Heavyweight Title Match

Mike Quackenbush and Ruckus Went To A No Contest

Both Quack and Ruckus wrestled an even match and came to many stalemates. I'm sure if they were given more time, they could've easily gone the time limit and then some. Unfortunately, we weren't given that opportunity as the CZW Iron Man Champion B-Boy ran out to the ring and clocked Quack with the Iron Man belt. Ruckus looked pissed at B-Boy for ruining the match and B-Boy clocked him too! B-Boy held the Iron Man title high to a chorus of boos while standing over two fallen bodies. What going on with B-Boy?

Backstage, Kaos is in the locker room stretching out when he is suddenly ambushed by Christian York, obviously getting revenge for Kaos' stolen victory last week. York had Kaos down and punching him when Kaos curled up in the fetal position. York got up and decided not to waste any more punches on someone as low as Kaos but then changed his mind and gave him a swift kick to the stomach to make sure he didn't get back up.

The New H8 Club (Justice Pain and Nick Gage) over Mexico's Most Wanted (Damien 666 and Halloween)

Most of the match was in the H8 Club's favor as they did whatever they could to cheat behind the ref's back. But once MMW made a comeback, out ran the CZW Tag Team Champions S.B.S. to distract them. While the H8 Club distracted the ref, Super Dragon and Excalibur slid into the rings and clocked Damien 666 and Halloween with the Tag Titles, much like B-Boy did in the previous match. With the damage done, the H8 Club got the easy win and walked to the back. Meanwhile, Super Dragon hit Curb Stomps on Damien and Halloween to add injury to..well, more injury.

Rico over L.A. Par-K

Great solid match. Near the end, L.A. Par-K went to hit Rico with a chair but Rico ducked, turned around and hit a roundhouse kick, sending the chair into Par-K's face. That was enough for Rico to get the pin. Afterwards, he helped Par-K up and raised his hand. If this was Sexxxy Eddy's first lesson in becoming a better wrestler, he'll be great in no time.

We cut to the parking lot outside of the New Alhambra Arena and see that Messiah and Gene Snitsky are beating Chris Hero to a bloody pulp. Messiah eventually backs off but lets Snitsky continue. Since Snitsky won't be able to get any shots in at No Excuses, Messiah will let him get his shots in now. Messiah turns around and sees the cameraman filming the attack so he grabs the camera and throws it on the asphalt, leaving the show to end in static.

Final Thoughts: Another solid show. Fake You! TV is becoming a must-see show for indy fans, which sucks because most indy American fans won't be able to see it unless they buy the tapes from Smart Mark Video. Rico vs L.A. Par-K was great. Quack vs Ruckus would've been too if B-Boy hadn't interfered. The Rico/Eddy stuff was hilarious and it's nice to see the Ca$h/Webb feud start off with a bang. I have a feeling that the Hero/Messiah feud will go on for a while, which will definately make for good matches.

CZWrestling.com Press Release For July 14, 2005 - Fake You! TV Preview.

-Make sure to download CZW's Match of the Week - Rico vs L.A. Par-K!

-Here's what's signed for Fake You! TV next week:

After being seperated from a pull-apart brawl in the locker room a few nights ago, both Chris Ca$h and Nate Webb agreed to face off in a match next week!

We'll see how the newly formed tandem of Rico and Sexxxy Eddy (which Eddy has dubbed "The Sexxx Express") will fare when they face off against Nate Hatred and Wifebeater.

In a preview of the CZW Tag Team title match at No Excuses, Halloween will face off against one-half of the Tag Team Champions, Super Dragon!

In our main event, Christian York will face off against Nicho El Milionario in what's sure to be a high-flying classic!

Plus, we'll hear from B-Boy and get an explanation for his actions against Mike Quackenbush and Ruckus last week. We'll also hear from Messiah to find out if he has any doubts going into No Excuses defending the CZW World title against Chris Hero.

All this plus Kendo Kashin vs Jonny Storm and Angel vs Nick Berk! Don't forget to tune in to WWN next Tuesday night or see us live at the New Alhambra Arena on Monday.

[TheRyno]

Fake You! TV Report

July 19, 2005

Jonny Storm over Kendo Kashin

Neither of these men had the greatest of starts since Best of the Best 5. Kashin lost last week to Sexxxy Eddy and Storm got squashed in no time by Gene Snitsky. This is a chance for both men to redeem themselves. Match was fairly fast-paced. Storm wanted to use his aerial maneuvers while Kashin wanted to keep Storm on the mat. Storm ended up wearing Kashin down enough to hit a Dragonrana from the top turnbuckle into a pinning predicament for the win.

Chris Ca$h over Nate Webb

Much of this match was spent with Ca$h stalling, not wanting to lock up with Webb. Webb easily had control over most of the match but Ca$h won at the end with a handful of tights. The crowd crapped all over this one.

Backstage, B-Boy is sitting in the locker room with the CZW Iron Man title slung over his shoulder:

"You know something, I'm getting sick and tired of guys stealing my spotlight. I won the CZW Iron Man Championship after wrestling two matches at the Cage of Death in December. And since then, I've been used...what...two, maybe three times? In that time, I've seen guys dancing in thongs get over me. I've seen guys who's only wrestling talent is throwing somebody through glass get over me. I've seen the One-Man Abortion Clinic get over me. But worse of all, I've seen motherfuckers looking like Fred Savage and Gary Coleman get over me. To top it off, they're fighting for an over-rated, spray-painted piece of tin. THIS (slapping the Iron Man title) is the only belt worth having in CZW! Not the Jr. title held by midgets. Not the World title held by the Thumbless Wonder. This is the only belt that proves you being a real man...an Iron Man. So, you boys wanna be men? Get at me."

Angel over Nick Berk

Decent match pretty much played solely for comedy. To give you an idea, Berk went for the German Suplex off of the apron (again, like Angle) but Angel held on to the ropes, leaving Berk looking like he was humping Angel. It took a little bit for Berk to realize what he was doing and run over to the other side of the ring, wiping the "gay" off himself apparently. Later on, Berk went for the Angle Slam but Feinberg leaned into the ring and grabbed Berk's foot, causing Angel to land on top and get the pin. Angel and RF hugged all the way to the back while Berk stood in the ring, looking like he needed to take a bath for the next few days.

Backstage, Ruckus walks out of the CZW Office confronts CZW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Mike Quackenbush, accusing him of being in cahoots with B-Boy after hearing what's set up for No Excuses. Quack pleads innocent but Ruckus isn't having any of it and starts beating him down in the middle of the hallway.

Super Dragon over Halloween

This was set to be a preview for the CZW Tag Team Title match at No Excuses and, considering the underhanded tactics of S.B.S., this may be a pretty accurate prediction of what's to come this Sunday. Excalibur made his way out to the ring and distracted Halloween long enough for Super Dragon to hit a Psycho Driver for the win. The Champions started to beat on Halloween but Damien 666 ran out for the save. S.B.S. walked to the back bragging about still being the Champions and claiming they'll walk out with the titles this Sunday.

The Sexxx Express (Rico and Sexxxy Eddy) over Nate Hatred and Wifebeater

Rico and Eddy fared pretty well in their first tag match together, even though Eddy pretty much played a pinball bouncing in between Nate and Wifebeater. Rico later got the hot tag and took control back for his team but The New H8 Club sauntered out to the ring. While Justice Pain distracted the ref, Nick Gage slid into the ring and clocked Nate and Wifebeater with chairs. With the damage done, Eddy tagged himself in and got the easy pin. Afterwards, Rico chewed out Eddy on their way to the back for taking the cheap win while Pain and Gage worked over Nate and Wifebeater with chairs inside the ring.

Nicho El Milionario over Christian York

Another classic match from two of the best workers CZW has right now. And another match ruined by that jackass Kaos. After a brutal battle, both Nicho and York were disoriented. Nicho was in the ring and York was at ringside when Kaos ran out and gave York the Shooting Star to the floor and rolled him back in the ring. Nicho went up top and hit the the Guillotine Leg Drop for the win. Afterwards, Kaos slid back into the ring to beat on York some more but Nicho realized he won cheaply and pushed Kaos off of York and threw him out of the ring. Kaos yelled at the two men threatening to take both of them on while Nicho helped York to his feet.

CZW World Champion Messiah came out to the ring without Gene Snitsky or The Dew by his side. He started cutting a promo talking about how he came to the ring alone tonight because he'll make sure to beat the crap out of Chris Hero all on his own come No Excuses. But Hero's music interrupted the promo, ticking Messiah off. But while Messiah was looking at the entrance, waiting for Hero to come out, Hero instead came through the crowd behind him and attacked. When all was said and done, Chris Hero had Messiah down on the mat and held the CZW World title to the sky. Will No Excuses end up the same way?

Final Thoughts: Decent enough show but most of the good stuff didn't happen until the second half. Guys like Nicho, York and Kaos keep putting on great matches. Rico and Eddy worked together well for their first time out but I'm sure Eddy will get even better with Rico's guidance. Great lead-ins to No Excuses for Messiah/Hero, SBS/MMW and Quack/Ruckus. But what exactly is up with Quack and Ruckus at No Excuses? I'm sure we'll hear about it soon.

CZWrestling.com Press Release For July 20, 2005 - Final No Excuses Card!

-Three new matches have been signed to take place at No Excuses on July 24:

Chris Ca$h has made an odd request for No Excuses. After "owning" Nate Webb last night on Fake You! TV, Ca$h has requested a match against El Generico to prove as an example and promised to dispose of Generico as easily as he has with Webb.

In a sure-fire Match of the Night Candidate, there will be a Triangle Match between Nicho El Milionario, Christian York and Kaos! Kaos has quite possibly bit off more than he could chew when tangling with these two future legends. Worse yet, this match won't be under Three Way Dance rules. This will be one fall to a finish so you can bet Kaos will be a marked man!

Finally, the match that was signed at the Fake You! TV taping that led to Ruckus attacking Jr. Heavyweight Champion Mike Quackenbush will be another Triangle Match - Ruckus vs Mike Quackenbush vs B-Boy! The catch is that BOTH the Jr. Heavyweight title and the Iron Man title will be on the line in this match! Again, the rule will be one fall to a finish so if a Champion is pinned, the winner will win that belt. B-Boy and Quack both have an opportunity to walk out of No Excuses as double-champions but not if Ruckus has his way.

-Make sure you come out to the New Alhambra Arena this Sunday, July 24 for No Excuses!

-Don't forget to make your way to CZWrestling.com's multimedia section to download the Match of the Week - Nicho El Milionario vs Christian York!

-Also, another reminder: Next week's episode of Fake You! TV will be a recap of No Excuses for our European audiences. After every large Arena show, we will be airing recaps and full matches of the show on WWN. Regular TV tapings will resume the week after. In this case, the next live taping will be August 2.

CZW No Excuses

Live At The New Alhambra Arena

July 24, 2005

Chris Ca$h vs El Generico

CZW Tag Team Championship Match

S.B.S. (Super Dragon and Excalibur) © vs Mexico's Most Wanted (Damien 666 and Halloween)

CZW Jr. Heavyweight/Iron Man Championship Match

Mike Quackenbush © vs B-Boy © vs Ruckus

Nicho El Milionario vs Christian York vs Ruckus

CZW World Championship Match

The Messiah © vs Chris Hero

Gene Snitsky will be banned from ringside!

[BurningHammer23]

Man this diary is quickly becoming one of my favorites. Im a mark for the indy diaries and this one is no exception. The one problem I have is some of the big names you got in here from WWE firings. I can overlook it if it's your plan to slowly change CZW into a regular "sports entertainment" fed if not... hopefully you got an angle to play with these guys for a while.

[TheRyno]

I try to keep the good indy talent in my game and build them up. I only have a few other WWE guys coming so it's not like I'm gonna totally overhaul CZW and turn it into sports entertainment. Rico is a guy that I've always liked and didn't think he got a fair shake in the WWE. If you catch some of his OVW stuff, you'll find he's a pretty solid worker. Snitsky...well, I don't really know why I hired him. Novelty, I guess? I like him because he's so bad but while writing this diary, I'm starting to regret it. But it's not like I have him in the game forever.

[TheRyno]

CZW No Excuses

Fan Report From The New Alhambra Arena in Philadelphia, PA

July 24, 2005

Nick Berk over Claudio Castagnoli

Didn't these guys do the opening dark match a few months ago? Come on, promote these guys to the real show already, especially Claudio! Pretty entertaining comedy match, must like the last time. Only this time, Berk finished Claudio off with an Angle Slam off the top turnbuckle for the win.

El Generico over Chris Ca$h

If this didn't have a storyline attached to it, this would probably be the dark match. Not as good as Berk/Claudio but still decent. Nate Webb danced out to ringside, distracting Chris Ca$h from attempting a top-rope maneuver when Generico ran up and hit the top-turnbuckle BRAINBUSTAAHHHHH! (finally!) for the win. Afterwards, Generico helps Webb put a bit of a beatdown on Ca$h.

CZW Tag Team Championship Match

S.B.S. (Super Dragon and Excalibur) © over Mexico's Most Wanted (Damien 666 and Halloween) to retain

This match had the crowd very hot from beginning to end. I'm sure everyone wanted MMW to get the belts back, which they almost did. At one point during the match, Excalibur slid a Tag belt into the ring and distracted the ref so Super Dragon could use it. But Halloween used it instead and got the pin! Just as the ring announcer was to announce MMW the NEW Tag Team Champions, Excalibur brought another ref from the back to reverse the decision! The crowd started a deafening "BULLSHIT!" chant while I'm sure Gargiulo was in the Eagle's Nest having a coronary yelling about how there's no Dusty Finishes in CZW. S.B.S. walked to the back with the Tag Titles and the second ref, so I'm sure something was up between them.

Wifebeater and Nate Hatred came out to the ring to cut a promo on The New H8 Club. I didn't really keep track of what they said but that wasn't important as Justice Pain and Nick Gage came out to the ring and totally demolished them. Seriously, it looked like Beater tapped a vein as parts of the mat were soaked in blood.

CZW Jr. Heavyweight/Iron Man Championship Match

Ruckus over Mike Quackenbush and B-Boy to become the NEW CZW Jr. Heavyweight Champion!

This match would've been great but it seemed like there was too much going on at once and all three men tried to cram every one of their moves in somehow. Near the end, B-Boy was knocked out of the ring, leaving Ruckus and Quack to go at it. Ruckus went for the Razzle Dazzle, which normally doesn't finish a match. But while Ruckus went for a pin, B-Boy leaned into the ring and held Quack's feet down so he wouldn't kick out, making Ruckus the new Jr. Heavyweight Champion! I'm sure B-Boy did it just to walk out of the match with the Iron Man title as he quickly grabbed the belt from the timekeeper and walked to the back. Quack and Ruckus spent a few minutes in the ring arguing and explaining what happened before Ruckus stormed to the back after B-Boy.

Kaos over Christian York and Nicho El Milionario

Just like the website predicted, match of the night. Even though the last three-way was decent, this one was a lot tighter and more cohesive. Kaos spent most of the match trying not to get beat on by York. Kaos let Nicho and York go at it for a bit which resulted in York eating a Guillotine Legdrop. But Nicho made the mistake of not going for the pin because, as he was getting up, Kaos hit Nicho with the Flying Guillotine! With Nicho out, Kaos added insult to injury by putting a foot on York and striking a pose for the easy pinfall. Kaos celebrated his big win by getting garbage thrown at him by the fans as he walked to the back.

New CZW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Ruckus came out with a mike. He cut a promo talking about how he wanted to defeat Quack one-on-one fair and square but B-Boy ruined that for him. So he's calling B-Boy out right now! B-Boy comes out with another mike saying that all he cared about was leaving with the Iron Man title around his waist and he doesn't care about that POS Jr. title. But, if a fight is what Ruckus wants, a fight is what he'll get. Both B-Boy and Ruckus stared at each other before laying their respective title belts down on the mat, stepping over them and...hugging? WTF? It was a plan all along! Ruckus and B-Boy are teaming up! Ruckus gets back on the mike to insult the fans and brag that "Quack got served".

CZW World Championship Match

The Messiah © over Chris Hero to retain

Great technical match with Hero working over Messiah the whole time. I think Hero got a bit too cocky as he pretty much played with Messiah throughout the match, knowing that Gene Snitsky couldn't come out to the ring. But Messiah had a plan. Even though Snitsky couldn't come out and interfere doesn't mean that anyone else can. So out came Adam Flash to stick his nose in their business. With Messiah down for a bit, Hero focused all of his attention on Flash. But while Hero had Flash in a cravate (!!), Messiah slid back into the ring and clocked Hero hard with a chair. Flash then helped Messiah put Hero on the top turnbuckle so Messiah could hit him with a Godsmack from the top for the win. After the match, Messiah grabs the mike and tells Snitsky and Dew to come out and get them some. While Snitsky and Flash beat down Hero (with Dew getting a few girly slaps in), Messiah talks about forming the Ultraviolent Death Squad and, with Zandig out with an injury, their mission is to take over CZW!

Final Thoughts: Very good show, though not quite as good as last month's No Rules, No Limits, but still close. Kaos vs York vs Nicho was the obvious MOTN. But the Tag Title match (despite the swerve) and the World title match were still quite good as well. The Jr./Iron Man three-way was alright but a little spotty. For some reason, the crowd crapped on the Ruckus/B-Boy team-up. I think it'll be great. Then again, I'm a B-Boy mark so what do I know?

CZWrestling.com Press Release For July 25, 2005 - No Excuses Aftermath, Fake You! TV Reminder.

-You could call No Excuses last night a "Night of Swerves" as it seemed the heels got over their adversaries in almost every match. Iron Man Champion B-Boy and NEW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Ruckus teamed up for the goal of taking the Jr. title off of Mike Quackenbush. Tag Team Champions S.B.S. retained their titles after a reversed decision. But the kicker is that after the match, the second ref was celebrating with the champions and even accepting money from them! Just how much money did the S.B.S. scam off of the Blackout a few months back? I'm sure Mexico's Most Wanted want some revenge for getting screwed out of the Tag titles once more. And the big news is the formation of the Ultraviolent Death Squad (or UVDS) with Adam Flash, Gene Snitsky and The Dew being led by World Champion Messiah on a "mission" to control CZW. When asked for a comment, CZW Owner John Zandig could not give one. But we're all sure that, even with an injury, Zandig won't take this lying down.

-A reminder for all our viewers on WWN that Fake You! TV tomorrow night will be a special recap of No Excuses. American audiences that haven't seen the show live will have to wait a week or so until the show is released from Smart Mark Video.

-Speaking of Smart Mark Video, all of the Fake You! TV episodes that have aired in July are available to purchase in one DVD or VHS set! Visit www.smartmarkvideo.com for more details!

[TheRyno]

CZW Fake You! TV Report

August 2, 2005

Jonny Storm over El Generico

With Generico on a roll of sorts after his streak of...well, one win, he decides to forgo the comedy to extend his streak to two with a possible victory over The Wonderkid. Unfortunately, it was not to be as Generico was too predictable in going for the top-rope Brainbuster and it was countered by Storm into an insane Yoshi Tonic off the top turnbuckle for the pinfall. Unfortunately, for both men, even though this was the best match of the night wrestling-wise, the fans sat silent most of the time, save for the ending.

The camera cuts to The New H8 Club arriving at parking lot of the New Alhambra. While Pain and Gage get their bags from the trunk, they were assaulted by Wifebeater and Nate Hatred, who were still bandaged up due to the bloodbath they suffered two days ago. As 'Beater took care of Justice Pain by throwing him into a nearby dumpster, Hatred went a little bit further and slammed the trunk lid right on Nick Gage's right hand!

Nick Berk over Nate Webb

Most of the match was spent with Webb's dancing causing Berk's bezerker 'roid rage, which in turn would cause Berk to carelessly attack Webb to the point where it was easily reversible. But after a few minutes, Chris Ca$h came out with a chair and hit Webb in the face with it while Berk had Webb held for a German suplex, using the momentum of the chairshot to take him over. Berk put the chair on Webb's ankle and Ca$h came off the top with a Pillmanizing double-stomp! From there, Berk hooked on the Ankle Lock and there was no choice but for Webb to tap out. While Berk celebrated his way to the back, Ca$h continued to ram the chair into Webb's ankle until he was pulled off by the ref.

Backstage, Mike Quackenbush is doing stretches when he is jumped in the back by Jr. Heavyweight Champion Ruckus and Iron Man Champion B-Boy. Well, that was simple.

Christian York over Angel

I can't quite tell if Angel has a crush on York or if it was just mind games. Angel kept getting under York's skin by dirty underhanded grabassing. And whenever York would get out of the ring to compose himself, RF would stare him down and stick his fingers in his mouth. York looks a little older than 14 so I don't think he has anything to worry about. Fact of the matter is that Angel's tactics didn't work on a consummate wrestler such as York and when Angel went for his Flying Fairy splash from the top rope, York rolled out of the way and then picked him back up just to put him back down with an Onion Buster for the win. While York celebrated his win (and while RF cradled the hurt Angel in his arms), Kaos ran down to the ring and put the boots to his adversary.

After the break, Mexico's Most Wanted come out to the ring. Damien 666 and Halloween cut a promo in broken English about being screwed out of the CZW Tag Team titles from the S.B.S. And, lo and behold, out come the champions themselves. But they just stand up on the stage while MMW continue to verbally run them down. Excalibur keeps making fun of their language skills (or lack thereof) from afar but when Damien calls them both "putos", Super Dragon drops his title belt and storms the ring. Excalibur just throws his hands up and only walks to the ring, figuring he should help his partner out whether he wants to or not. Luckily, neither team really gets the upper hand as all four men are promptly seperated by security.

Cut to backstage, where we see Mike Quackenbush seemingly hiding in a broom closet with a ice packet over his head, nursing his wounds from a Ruckus/B-Boy ambush and talking on a cell-phone.

"Hey man, I hate to call you up like this but I gotta ask you a favor. I got these two guys in CZW making my stay here a living hell. They're street thugs and I'm outnumbered so I was hoping you could help a brother out and show these two 'homeboys' what wrestling is all about. Are you up for it? Are you feeling good enough? Great. I'll see you out here next week."

L.A. Par-K over Sexxxy Eddy

We've seen it with Nate Webb and Sonjay Dutt. Now it's CZW Dance-Off 2: Electric Boogaloo! Eddy thought he could freak Par-K out with his male stripper dancing but it was countered with a chair dance finished off by a Spinaroonie. The crowd playfully chanted "You Got Served!" at Eddy's apparent defeat. Great match, with Par-K going move for move against Eddy, despite being much larger than him. Par-K put him out with a twisting senton off the ropes for the win. Afterwards, Par-K and Eddy shook hands to the delight of the crowd. I'm sure he learned from Rico how to respect the veterans.

So, the show's almost over and no new authority figure? Wait a minute...

"Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort!"

The place goes apeshit as Nick Mondo walks out to a CZW ring for the first time in years. He comes out wearing an Adidas warm-up suit and, without his makeup and spiked hair, actually looks like a normal person and not like the nutjob we've come to know an love. Mondo has the mike and cuts a great promo.

"Thanks a lot for the reception. I know I've been gone a long time so it's comforting to know that you've remembered me after all these years. Especially since a lot of you have bought Unscarred: The Life Story of Nick Mondo - available wherever DVDs are sold! *thumbs up* Seriously though, it's great to be back. As you can see, I'm not dressed to wrestle and, unfortunately, I don't intend to. I still considered myself retired from wrestling as my back is still tender. But even though I don't miss getting battered and bruised night in and night out, I did miss being in CZW. So when Zandig called me up and asked me if I'd keep an eye on things here while he's out with an injury, I jumped at the chance."

Suddenly, Messiah's music hits and out comes the CZW Champion, flanked by The Dew, Gene Snitsky and Adam Flash, collectively known as the Ultraviolent Death Squad. Messiah steps into the ring with a mike of his own while he tells the UVDS to stay out of the ring.

"Oh, is your back still hurt? Everyone knows that's bullshit because you've had plenty of time to rest up! The fact is that you're scared of me. You're scared that the greatest CZW World Champion of all time will end your career for good! You're scared I'll put you in a wheelchair or traction, whatever works. But you don't have to worry much longer. Because your end will be quick and painless!"

With that said, Snitsky and Flash slide into the ring and start beating on Mondo before throwing him to Messiah. When Messiah lifts him up for the Godsmack, most of the CZW locker room runs out for the save. Messiah is tackled by Chris Hero, saving Mondo from getting hit with Messiah's finisher, while the rest chase off the UVDS. Messiah and Hero start to brawl but Messiah is pulled out by Snitsky and the UVDS walks to the back, while the rest of the locker room either badmouths them or checks on Mondo's condition.

Final Thoughts: Decent show that was made up of matches seemingly thrown together at the last minute. Of course, the highlight was Mondo's return so I'm sure they didn't want anything to upstage that. A lot of the matches were solid, even if they didn't mean much. The only other big thing to note is Quack's mystery friend coming next week. Who will it be?

CZWrestling.com Press Release For August 3, 2005 - Fake You! TV Preview, Hirings and Firings.

-The card for next week's episode of Fake You! TV looks like this:

Chris Ca$h vs Kendo Kashin

Kaos vs Rico

Ruckus and B-Boy vs Mike Quackenbush and ???

-Speaking of Quackenbush's Mystery Partner, one of Nick Mondo's first actions today as the Authority of CZW was to sign him to an exclusive Written contract! Only Quack and Mondo know who this man is and you'll find out next week on Fake You! TV.

-As you may have noticed, the match list looks a little sparse. Rumor is that Mondo might be setting up a match that will have an impact on Tournament of Death 5, which will take place August 21! Tune into Fake You! TV for more details.

-Unfortunately, we have decided to part ways with Jigsaw and Eddie Kingston due to low morale in the locker room. We wish them all the best in the future.

-Head on over to CZWrestling.com's Multimedia section to download the Match of the Week - L.A. Par-K vs Sexxxy Eddy!