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The First Five

Guest Kou

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Have you ever seen Attack of the Show? No? Well fuck you then.

Anyways, On said show host Kevin Sexypants will do a segment where he reviews a game through his first fifty minutes of experiance with it. This is simular to that.

The first five? You ask. The first five what? Minutes? Nay, Silly jackass. The first five days. After each day I shall post my thoughts/review on a game. A rating will be put on the game in different catagories for each day. Which is then rounded out to get the final score.

But what are these catagories and what are the days worth? How did you know the days are worth different amounts. You whore.

Day 1 - 15% of the total rating. Why 15? Because if I'm hyped on a game I might overrate it on the first day. Hell, Most games would be overrated on one day of play.

Day 2-4 - 20%

Day 5 - 25% The five percent from Day 1 ends up here. The money day is the final day of rent. For if I still think the gamplay, graphics and all that other shit are good. Then it's a good game.

Got it? Good. I don't need no fucking review thread. NO I DO NOT SIR.

First on the docket.



Personal Hype: 4 out of 5

Today doesn't count. Tommorow is the "first day". Now let's set this motherfucker and hopefully I won't forget it. I don't need a review thread. I need my own thread, Bitch.

Edited by Kou
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Due to the passing of Eddy I'm not going to be as detailed as I'd like for today. But then again I don't give a fuck if you don't like it.

Day 1 - Gun

Opening Cinematic

Yes, I'm rating this. Why wouldn't you rate it? It's an important part of a game to get you hooked the moment you hit the power button on your PS2 or non PS2 (AKA: Shitty) console. Gun's Opening Cinematic is suprisingly short, But very effective. It sums up the feelings that this game isn't going to be like anything you've played before. Or at least eludes to this.

Rating: 4 out of 5


Nothing too spectacular in this department, I wouldn't expect blow my balls off type in game graphics from the same people who make the Tony Hawk series. The blood seems oddly unnatural when you slash into something with your knife, Heads do satisfingly explode when you have a well placed shot.

The textures on objects like trees and the ground aren't top notch, But then the draw distance is good so I wouldn't expect this either. All in all it's a good looking game, But I'm sure it looks better on the seXbox.

Rating: 3 out of 5

Load Times

Speaking of draw distance, Load times are an imporant part of the game. Why? Well who wants to sit there for five minutes waiting for a small section of the map to load, Then sit there for another five when you decide to leave the area?

Gun's load times are thankfully very shot, Which is quite a feat when you ride seamlessly through the vast enviroments on your horse. There's only two main cities (At my point in the game, There may be more to it.) with a large space in between. You can ride from one end of the map to the other without a single load time, So that's why Gun gets full marks for this area.

Rating: 5 out of 5


The controls are somewhat challanging at the start of the game, But you quickly get used to them and they flow quite nicely during gameplay. You control the camera, And more importantly your aim with the right stick, and move Colton with your left stick. R1 is the button used for all the killing, While L3 reloads.

The learning surve on these controls is lessened by the well designed tutorial mission and the mission thereafter. While the default controls aren't perfect, They are far from terrible.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Learning Curve: 20-30 Minutes


Ahhh gameplay, Of course the most important part of any game. The graphics play a role too, But are just icing on the cake for the gameplay. The play in Gun is smooth and silky. With scenes from furious gunfights which are very action packed and fun, To hearding cattle into a pen. Now that last one doesn't sound fun, But I enjoyed making those cows my bitch.

Back to the gun parts of Gun, You have a bullet time (Don't all games?) mode in which you can slow down things and own some outlaws with your pistols in a limited amount of time, Which you earn from killing enemies while in normal time. Instead of bullet time though it's given the appropriate name of Quickdraw. Facing 6 enemies all lined up in a row? Hit the L2 button and hammer that trigger to send those boys back to the earth. Your pistols will be your best friend as the rifle, shotgun and sniper (Until you get better models) are all single shot and have to be reloaded (Which is done automatically if you run out of bullets) after each shot.

All in all, The gameplay in Gun is alot of fun. It gets quite challenging into the later missions but thanks to the load times you can jump right back into the firefight after you die. And trust me, You will die.

Rating: 4 out of 5


While this isn't a rated catagory till day 5, I must comment that I'm 56% through Gun while only playing it for about 10 hours. Now that's terribly short in my book, But I don't know how much of a percentage is given to the side missions (Bounty Hunting, Hunting, Texas Hold 'Em and Herding) so I could be finished before the five day total.

Day 1 Rating - 4 out of 5

The daily update seems kind of silly now that I look at it. So I'll only be doing a Day 1 and Day 5 review. So it's now worth 40/60. As for the Barrie Boy Bagger, I would buy Civ 4 instead of Gun. Gun just doesn't seem to have a large replayability like Civ 4 does. Plus I'm almost done the game in under 10 hours.

Now slag off.

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How dare you sir. Old School > Your School.

But yes, I'm about to go to Rogers in a few hours. So we'll see what I end up getting. Fatal Frame 3 is a (N) because I hate that series. But not for the gameplay or anything related to the game. Figure that one out. :P

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