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Nintendo Wii


Benji

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Apparantly people are already complaining of sports related injuries cos of the Wii. It's not surprising really, if you're not in any way athletic and then start boxing, or playing tennis, or golf or whatever on the Wii then of course you're gonna get repetitive strain or tennis elbow or something...

On a positive note, the orchestra conductor game looks cool...

I can't see how people can get tennis elbow to be honest, but there you go.

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It's in one of the menus in the options. Poke around aimlessly like I did, and you'll probably find it. And because I feel like doing something semi-productive:

Officially Official Wii Game Reviews:

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess: It's a Zelda Game. That's really all that needs to be said. The graphics are pretty, the puzzles are puzzling, and boss battles are epic. You also spend a significant amount of time as a wolf. It feels kind of limiting, because you can't use items, but it is an interesting change of pace. You can use you animal senses to see things(hidden items, secret passages, whatnot), and the shadow demon riding on your back can help you target multiple enemies to attack all at once. That's another thing, as opposed to an obnoxious farie hanging around you like in Ocarina of Time, you get an un-obnoxious shadow demon, that actually helps you out and gives you extra abilities.

The story for this Zelda game might actually be interesting. The majority of the land of Hyrule is plunged into perpetual twilight, it's denizens reduced to lost souls, shadowy monsters with cool glowing tribal designs covering them roam the land and if the inferences Midna(your shadowy sidekick) are correct, it's Princess Zelda's fault. The Wiimote is primarily used for aiming projectiles(slingshots, arrows, badass multi-target boomerangs, and so on), which is way better than using an analogue stick, and sword slashing. Sharply wave the Wiimote, and Link slashes his sword. It sounds annoying, but the motion you need to make is so slight, once you get used to it, you won't even notice you're doing something more complicated than pressing a button. Waving the Nunchuck attachment does the spin attack, which is much handier than having to hold down a button for 2 seconds.

I give The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess 9/10

Trauma Center: Second Opinion: It's kinda sad that one of the best games for the Wii is a port of a DS game. It's still a great game. In this game, you're a doctor, and you perform operations. And it's amazingly fun. Disinfect the area, make the incision, get up in them guts, inject anti-inflammatory, use ultra-sound to find the tumors, cut the tumors out, pull the tumors out, seal up the area with synthetic organ tissue, disinfect the area again, stitch up the opening, disinfect the opening, and apply a bandage, all the while trying not to fuck up badly enough to kill your patient, and trying remember what the fuck you're supposed to do for this procedure 'cuz you assumed you'd have someone walking you through the operation like in the first levels and didn't pay attention. And that's before you're performing emergency open-heart surgery.

It's challenging, it's tense, it's actually semi-educational and it's very fun. At least until the crazy-ass mutant-alien-anime virus' come around, but I haven't gotten that far yet. I give Trauma Center: Second Opinion 8/10

Elebits: Hooray for weird-ass japanese games. This game is a lot like Katamari Damacy, only significantly less gay, and slightly more violent. It's set in a mystical magical fantasy-ass fantasy land where all energy is provided by tiny little creatures called Elebits. Kai is a young boy who's parents are Elebit researchers. Kai hates Elebits because his parents pay more attention to them than him. One night, while home alone during a storm, the power goes out, and young Kai is going to miss his favorite show. So he grabs a Capture Gun(invented by his Father, no less), and goes about rounding up all the Elebits around the house to get the power back on. So begins the first part of the game.

The Capture Gun is essentially a gravity gun, it can pick up, move, and most importantly throw and shake objects. Each level, much like Katamari Damacy, you have to collect a certain number of Elebits within the time limit. Also like Katamari Damaci, the levels are populated with tons and tons of little objects and details. Again, like Katamari, the more Elebits you collect, the heavier objects you can lift. Towards the end of a level, you'll be hucking furniture around with reckless abandon just because you can. I give Elebits 8/10

Wii-Sports: Mad props to Nintendo for packaging a game with it's new system. It's broken down into 5 games: Baseball, Golf, Bowling, Boxing and Tennis. Baseball sucks, flat out. It's boring, it's simple, and it's boring. The game automatically handles base running and field players. All the player does is throw and swing. Golf might actually be good, if I liked golf. But I don't, so I'm bored to death by it, though it does seem to be pretty good, if you like golf. Bowling is good, generally well done, and all in all fun. More fun than actual bowling are some of the training games for bowling. One involves manipulating the spin of the ball to make it go around obstacles on the lane, and my favorite involves trying to knock down as many pins as possible out of an ever-increasing set. I've gotten up to 90.

Boxing is the most complicated. There are a wide variety of jabs and hooks you can do, plus dodging and blocking. The problem is I have no idea how to do most of them effectively. It's still fairly fun. Even though the characters are ultra simple, some of the knockout punches I've seen have still looked spectacularly nasty. Tennis is probably my favorite game. It's ultra simple, you don't control the movements of the characters, just swing. It still manages to be quite fun. I give Wii Sports 7/10.

Red Steel: A Yakuza-themed First Person Shooter with occasional swordfights. Sounds like it should be at least decent, and has the potential to be good. Too bad it isn't. The controls aren't bad, the Wiimote aims, the stick moves, and moving the Nunchuck does things like opening doors, and picking up guns. The problem with the controls is that the game seems to get the idea that the Wiimote is pointing at the upper left corner for no fucking reason, and I end up spinning in circles while people shoot at me. Hit detection sucks too. I've shot people in the arms and legs, and had absolutely nothing happen on a number of occasions.

The graphics and animation look like a bad early-generation PS2 game, and I have absolutely no idea how to switch weapons. Yes, I could look in the manual, but after they've pelted me with a dozen instruction screens that take up half the screen, that I can't shut off manually, and only go away after half a minute, even though I have half a dozen people shooting at me,I feel they should provide this information in-game. I give this game a Selling to Gamestop as soon as I can/10

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