What Did You Watch Today?

[Numbahs]

Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift - ** out of *****

Imagine Me & You - ** out of *****

[slain]

The Break Up-**** Out Of *****

Alien Vs. Predator-*** Out Of *****

Sky High-** Out Of *****

[ROC]

BloodRayne - 2.5/10

I'm so disappointed. No, not because another Uwe Boll film is shit (yeah, so shocking, I know), but because I expected more unintentional funny here than I got from Boll's past works like House of the Dead. Instead, it's just a bad movie. I could go on about it, but I think the words: "An Uwe Boll film" surely speaks for itself.

[BlackFlagg]

The Exorcist III - 8/10

[Guest Simply Red]

Airheads 8.5/10

[ACCBiggz]

Superman Returns - 7.5/10

[Numbahs]

The Devil Wears Prada - *** out of *****

[Numbahs]

Alchemy - * out of *****

Duane Hopwood - *** out of *****

[Rashid]

Alien Resurrection: 6.5/10

Definitly the worst of the 4 Alien movies.

Species lll: 5.3/10

Worse than Species 1, I've never seen #2 before.

[The Dork Knight]

Kicking And Screaming - 8/10

[Numbahs]

The Lake House - *** out of *****

[Ananas]

The Breakup - 6/10

Refreshing for a mainstream romantic comedy, "The Breakup" manages to be at points viciously funny, heartwarming and heartbreaking. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston give great dramedic (if that isn't a word yet, I'm inventing it) performances, and it's clear that the on-set chemistry that lead to their off-screen romance bled through into this film. The ending left much to be desired, and there is a bit of an identity problem at times, but all in all this is a very funny comedy, and that's all I suppose you can ask from it.

[Ananas]

The Benchwarmers - 3/10

This is a film that quite often ranks on an intellectual level with Tom Green's magnum opus "Freddy Got Fingered". It stars a bunch of SNL rejects and of course, Napoleon Dynamite. To say the humour is juvenile is to say that the Queen likes her tea. The film is rated PG-13, but I can't understand anyone over the age of 10 actually appreciating the humour. I'd say that Adam Sandler needs to learn to say "no" every once in a while, but why? This film did almost $60 million at the box office. Maybe it's just the filmgoing public that needs to say "no". Seriously. And while you're at it, demand more Norm MacDonald, who was supposed to have a cameo in this movie and seemingly doesn't (well not to my now mercifully hazy recollection). That's two strikeouts (it's almost 5 in the morning so no, the pun is not intended) in a row for Allen Covert and Nick Swardson as writers riding Adam Sandler's jock. Let's hope that if there is another disaster (and knowing Mr. Sandler's forgiving nature, there probably will be), it'll be the last. Avoid, avoid, avoid. And keep others away too. It's the best public service you could possibly perform. Better than giving blood even.

[slain]

Blade:Trinity-****Out of *****

Blade-****Out Of *****

Blade II-** Out Of *****

[BlackFlagg]

Dogma - 9/10

[Guest John Cena]

Mission Impossible III - 7/10

X-Men: The Last Stand - 5.5/10

[MalaCloudy Black]

Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo

-*** stars, or -3/10.

What a fucking terrible piece of shit.

[BlackFlagg]

Creature from the Black Lagoon - 7/10

[ROC]

The Amityville Horror (2005) - 3/10

Director Andrew Douglas and producer Michael Bay create a ridiculous farsical take on the 1979 horror flick starring Van Wilder himself Ryan Reynolds. Reynolds is the first of the film's problems. While it's obvious he's done a good job at staying fit, don't you think it to be a tad ridiculous that he has the physique of a bodybuilder when he's trying to play an ordinary average guy? Let's also not forget the Misty Mundae meets big boobed prostitute babysitter. It's like Douglas wanted to avoid doing anything remotely realistic, and while horror usually does require suspension of reality, it helps to make the situation somewhat relatible to make the fright scenes resonate much better with the audience. It doesn't help that the scare scenes are also terribly done, with riffs stolen from tons of other horror flicks that did the job better. Unless you have truly ridiculous suspension of disbelief and jump at any random horror creature, there's nothing anywhere near good about Amityville's second coming.

The Hills Have Eyes - 7/10

Alejandre Aja's version of The Hills Have Eyes contains some of the most well-done intense scenes that you will see in modern horror. Aja's intense nature and bloodlust manages to make a predictable setting turn terrifying and disturbing fast. Aja creates a film that not only fits the mood of horror but also creates a minor political commentary on the obvious danger of nuclear attack and what ultimately comes of it. The only downfall is that the characters feel underwritten. With the half hour or so we get to know the characters before the violence sets in, we're only given the cliche family dynamic. It's probably the only part of this film that needs work, as Aja's style definitely creates an experience that won't be liked by all, but for those looking for something other than say...the film above, this will definitely bring it.

[BlackFlagg]

BASEketball - 9/10