Aurora Wrestling Organization

[Beeker00Zero]

an annoying foreigner that sings every time he comes out

[Nick Adams]

OOC: Wow...a month since I've updated...just like a real fed. Anyways, sorry to all my loyal readers...well, semi-loyal...for taking so damn long. ON WITH THE SHOW!

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The Titus Andronicus Sucks! Ruling

By John "Not-So Rey-Rey" Reynolds

So here I am, once again in Colorado, reporting on the AWO. But they have managed to branch out since the last time I saw them. Now they're in a gigantic quad on a college campus which apparently is also named "The Oval". Well, it is shaped as such. Either way, it isn't exactly central to campus, but it's close to most of the parking, so I suppose that I can deal with it. This is an abnormally large crowd, somewhere over 200 people, but it's college, and the tickets are discount, so I suppose that that's the appeal. And just to establish my rating system for the night:

Coronation - Freakin' Good

Knighting - Very Good

Squireship - Good

Squire-in-training - Okay

Peasanthood - Below average

Homelessness - Way below average

Slave - The equivalent to a show-wide Scott Keith "Hot poker up the ass"

Either way, the show starts, and it's...apparently the AWO House Band, composed of Nick Adams on bass, Christopher Idol on guitar, and Drake Strata on drums.

Interesting. And they even made up a song called "Ode to the Andronici". Apparently, it's summarizing the plot of Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus. The chorus went, "And after all is said and done/ It doesn't matter how many battles you've won/ Rome's a wilderness of tigers, my son/ It's probably best for you to get thee gone." Creative, I'll admit that much.

After the song ends, the band starts clearing off the stage, and we see on the AWOSheet that Malachi Pasillas is arriving on campus. Ahern (I recognize the guy) awkwardly walks up to Mal and asks him what he thinks about his main event I Quit match with Bucky. He says that he doesn't really care. One way or another, Bucky is going to be forced to quit, thereby showing the world that the prejudice that everyone holds against Hispanics is unfounded. Good heel reaction from the fans.

Three-Way Tag Match: AW3 & El Bulldust vs the Ultimate Marks vs D&D Connection

Firstly, El Bulldust comes out, as usual, annoying the entire crowd. And he's imitating MC Hammer, with his own personal rendition of "You Can't Touch This". I think I'll spare everybody the lyrics, because the original annoyed me enough without Bulldust adding to it. And who did Drew Porter decide to impersonate this time? Well, let's just say that his entrance involved a CAR CRASH GOING OVER THE SPEAKERS, AND DREW COMES OUT IN JEANS AND RIPPED FLANNEL! Yep, he's impersonating Mick Foley.

Other than that - why is it that I only recognize two thirds of the men in this ring? Honestly, I would have expected the AWO roster to stay the same from when I last saw it. Guess not, huh? Either way, looks to be an interesting match, especially with the way that the AWO does a tag match - and all three teams are in, and it's one big brawl. Apparently, they fought a normal tag match last month - but that's in the past. And El Bulldust pairs off against Porter, AW3 takes on Mark Out, and Jason Rumble takes on the champion. And of course, before Rumble goes any further, he goes and grabs his autograph book, and while the other four go at it, David obligingly signs it, waits for Jason to hand the book off to a ring assistant, and then the two shake hands - and Alexander Worthington the Third is sent crashing into both of them, which makes AW3 "it", since he took the first real shot of the night. David and Jason subsequently deliver a double clothesline. And El Bulldust slams Porter to the mat. Out hits Bulldust with repeated punches, but D&D are still "it" - until Michaels gives AW3 an elbow drop. And Rumble follows up with a Stone Cold - sorry, Mark Out - style elbow drop for good measure. Jeesh, Worthington is getting a beating. And BULLDUST WITH A DOUBLE BULLDAWG ON PORTER AND MARK! And he rushes in at Michaels and Rumble - FLYING SPINNY TWISTY THINGAMAJIG! And everybody except for Bulldust is down! Bulldust stands and immediately does the moonwalk - and AW3, forgetting for a second that Bulldust is his teammate, stands and immediately takes him down with a clothesline, just to stop the display. Worthington then lifts up "Mick" Porter and gives him a body slam. But Mark Out comes in and whips him to the opposite side of the ring. Catch, and a spinebuster a-la SCSA! Quick pin on Alex, but the ref doesn't count - D&D are "it". And as Mark begins to argue with the ref, El Bulldust lifts up the champ and hits a quick rana, sending the pirate crashing in to Mark. The ref then declares the UM to be "it" - which doesn't last long, as Jason Rumble comes from behind with running face slam on Bulldust, then goes and begins to stomp a mudhole in the fallen luchadore. But AW3 comes up behind and hits a quick reverse suplex! Wait - MARK OUT WITH A MOMENT ON AW3! And Worthington totally oversells it, and goes flying out of the ring. Suddenly, Drew Porter comes up and - THE MANDIBLE CLAW ON MARK OUT! AND MARK OUT IS DOWN, and he rolls out of the ring! Pin, but no count. And Jason Rumble gains vengeance on Drew with a Moment! Porter goes flying out! But David Michaels slams Rumble into the corner! ARR, MATEY! What is this, a gigantic finisher-fest? Apparently so, as Bulldust comes up behind Michaels and hits a reverse DDT, then goes up top! And he goes for a BullSplash...and David rolls out of the way! David stands, and...sets up a Jackhammer! And it connects! Pinfall, and the three-count! Michaels gets the victory over El Bulldust!

Winner: The D&D Connection by Pinfall at 15:24

The Rulingp: Well, it started as a Pier 6, progressed as a Pier 6, and ended with a finisher mania. It offered some cheap pops, and was good as a first match. But it was still lackluster in comparison to the rest of the world. Peasanthood for this one.

And after the ring was cleared out, The Bob came out to some cheers, dressed, as from when I last remembered him as a cross between the Fonz and Danny Zucko. Either way, he grabbed a microphone, did the Fonz's trademark ("Heeey!"), and went off on a little scpiel. He was pretty much pulling a good-guy Carlito thing, talking about how he would cool off Matt Inferno's Burn-I-Nation. (Burn-I-Nation? Jeff Hardy, anybody?) Either way, just a general rant with a Fonz-type accent. Interesting enough, and he seemed to have a slight connection with the fans. Inferno comes running through the crowd, slides in, and begins a brawl with the Bob! ON WITH THE MATCH!

Matt Inferno vs The Bob

Somehow, it just seems strange that these two used to be the top men, and are now barely above curtain-jerking. Either way, the brawl continues as the bell rings, just back and forth punches. The Bob blocks a punch...one, two, three, the Bob shakes off his hand, and delivers a huge haymaker that takes Inferno down! And now he's The Rock...should've figured. Either way, kick to Inferno's ribs, and another kick, and another kick, all with huge wind-ups. And the Bob lifts Inferno, whip to the ropes, and a lariat takes Inferno down. Whip to the corner, Bob charges in, and Inferno counters with an elbow! Inferno follows up with a swinging kick to the back of the Bob's knees, dropping him to the mat. The fans boo as Matt goes for the pin with the foot, cheer when Bob grabs and reverses it into a screwy ankle lock (which is obviously a total guess on Bob's part, just due to the way he's holding it), and then another boo when Matt gets to the ropes. The Bob immediately lets go and walks away, just satisfied to have gained a mental advantage on Inferno. Of course, Inferno wasn't exactly taken out, and Matt goes for the quick win with a reverse headlock, but the Bob drops and hits a snap mare! Bobby then continues the move by hitting a quick headlock on Matt. But Inferno slowly begins to resist, and manages to get onto his knees. He then slowly steps back, and gets to his feet. The Bob is still holding on, but Matt hits one elbow. And then another elbow! But before Inferno can escape, Bobby runs out and hits a bulldog! Inferno is just getting his hide whipped here. Either way, the Bob lifts him up off the mat and goes for another attack, but Inferno kicks him in the gut. And Inferno then proceeds to just punch the Bob around a bit. Finally, the Bob manages to catch one of Inferno's shots and hits an arm drag. The Bob stands, and Inferno comes in, but Bobby motions for Matt to wait a second. Bob pulls out a comb from his pocket and carefully grooms his hair, then puts the comb in its place and motions for Matt that it's okay to attack. Don't ask me, I don't get it either. Either way, Inferno comes in and quickly goes for a Northern Lights Suplex. And the Bob counters with a surprise Fonzie Flop without any setup at all! The Bob gets the pinfall! After Bobby leaves, Inferno stands and gets a mic. He immediately looks at the ref and says, "You made a mistake. You offended me." And he drops the mic - the Lighter Side of Fire! Well, I definitely missed something...apparently they're selling tapes of their old shows now - only thing at the merchandise table, actually. Either way...

Winner: The Bob by Pinfall at 10:45

The Ruling: Well, at the start, I actually thought this might show some promise. But it just wasn't enough for me to give it more than a Peasanthood as well.

Doc Dean vs Tommy Chill

After the entrances, Doc Dean came rushing in at Chill with a gigantic flying lariat which barely fazed the Polar Bear. And of course, Chill immediately grabs Dean and smashes him like...like...well, no similes are coming to mind, so let's just say Chill continues to beat the crap out of Dean. AND DEAN BECOMES A PROJECTILE AIMED DIRECTLY AT THE NEAREST TURNBUCKLE! Now that HAD to hurt. And yet, like Jeff Hardy, Dean somehow manages to grab the nearest rope and raise himself off the mat. And Chill rushes in - but EATS THE CORNER! Doc crawls away quickly as Chill stumbles around, and then hits a quick schoolboy rollup. It gets a two-count by merit of catching Chill totally off-guard. Dean crawls away as Chill gets to his feet, visibly pissed. He turns to Doc and walks over. A lift off the ground, and a punch from Doc! And another punch from Dean! And one last one. And Doc obviously forgets who he's fighting, and goes for an Irish whip...which Chill obviously blocks. Doc realizes the error and hits an impromptu wheel kick right to Chill's face. And Chill stumbles back, gripping his face in pain. And Dean follows up with a diving chop block right at the back of Tommy's knees, dropping the Polar Bear to the mat. Dean immediately hits a leg drop and goes for another pin, but Chill kicks out before the count even starts. Dean stands and walks away, waiting for Chill to stand. Dean rushes in, goes for a hurricanrana, BUT CHILL COUNTERS WITH A SITOUT POWERBOMB! DEAN IS DEAD, AND CHILL GETS THE THREE COUNT! But Chill isn't finished. He lifts Dean off the mat, and...ANOTHER POWERBOMB TO THE DOC! Tommy stands and walks off, satisfied with the mass havoc which he has wreaked.

Winner: Tommy Chill by pinfall at 6:33

The Ruling: Effectively a squash match here, but put on well enough. The near-comeback definitely added to what might have otherwise been just an excuse to give these two face time. Chill as a monster heel? I'm all for that. Squire-in-training.

After Dean retreats to the back, Michael Shane comes out. Well, Shane looks good, at least. I remember him from TNA. And his opening line is, "May the Way of Peace be with you." Okay, this is definitely not his regular schtick that I remember. Either way, he goes off on how his match last month with Bucky was disrupted by two violent members of the roster, Malachi Pasillas and Christopher Idol. He spoke of Mal in high terms, talking about how "equality-minded" Mal is, eliciting an easy boo, and saying that Pasillas is just misguided. But he proceeded to call Idol a miscreant with an extreme taste for violence. I'll just quote him here: "After all, he's in to extremely violent music, and even advocates listening to some music that promotes violence. And unlike Malachi, who is going to show Bucky a lesson later..." A cheap boo ensues, of course. "Christopher Idol shall be the one who shall be schooled." Shane then waits for the match to start. Shane said he wanted something peaceful, and...

Christopher Idol vs. "The Peace Man" Michael Shane

Idol heeds the call, bringing along two guitars - his traditional electric, and a very-used-looking acoustic guitar. Both have plugs into their amp hook-ups that are wireless. Idol quickly places the acoustic on the ground and hits some riffs, really getting the fans up and ready to rock. He then pulls a mic out of his pocket. "You want a peaceful match? Fine, let's see how hard you can rock, Mikey!" And this is officially a play-off...which I see has been done only once before, between Idol and El Bulldust...and...Bulldust won? Well, there's been weirder events in wrestling - the Gobbledy Gooker, Mae Young and Mark Henry's "child"...you get the picture. And so begins the strangest match I have witnessed in a while, as Shane decides that it's peaceful enough. Either way, Idol plays something easy, Shane mimics, lather, rinse, repeat. And repeat again. But OUT OF NOWHERE (and to quote somebody else, where is Nowhere, anyway? Does it have a factory?) Idol suddenly pulls out an ear-splitting riff that lasts for roughly a minute and a half, during which the fans begin cheering wildly, and Shane looks very frustrated. When Idol finishes on a high note, he pauses and walks around the ring. AND JUST AS CHRIS TURNS BACK TOWARDS THE PEACE MAN, SHANE GIVES IDOL THE JARRETT TREATMENT, AND SMASHES THE ACOUSTIC GUITAR OVER CHRIS' HEAD! And the ref immediately calls for the bell! Shane just slides out of the ring and walks backstage, leaving Idol in a heap.

Winner: Christopher Idol by DQ at 4:43

The Ruling: Well, I guess I'm going to have to judge on playing quality...but the fact is that this was more kind of showing "The Peace Man" as a hypocrite. Either way, fans seemed to like it, and though it wasn't sensational, I can't exactly call it terrible due to the EL KABONGING. So it's average enough to merit Squire-in-training status...just for the hell of it.

After that mess is cleared, Bucky comes out to the ring. Still the same from last time I remember this guy, acting like a kid and getting easy cheers for it. Okay, maybe not a kid, but a rather immature adult. I mean, c'mon, "Oh, diss!" and "Snap!" as his catchphrases? Oh, whatever. He wants to use them, he can be my guest, but don't expect me to want to hear anymore. In general, it was pretty much Bucky beginning with the basic, "For those of you that don't know me, my name is BUCKY!" Well, at least he's ditched the idea that he's forgettable. Either way, he then started out with the basic idea of how he's a good wrestler, and Mal isn't. Kinda' juvenile, but hey, it works for this. It progressed like that for a bit, but Bucky finished off by saying that he would make Mal give up, because unlike some other Latino guys, whose game is lying, cheating, and stealing, Pasillas' thing is crying, whining, and quitting! Well, the easy allusion got the fans really into this one (relatively speaking), and it made Mal come to the ring looking VERY pissed. And this match is ON!

I Quit Match: Malachi Pasillas vs Bucky

And before Bucky could even put down the microphone, Mal flies at him with a gigantic lariat (at least for a man the size of Rey Misterio). Bucky goes down, and the Maniacal Mexican (not a bad epithet, if I do say so myself) hits a quick elbow drop on the Master of the Diss. Bucky stands quickly as Mal goes off the ropes again, and surprises Pasillas with a HUGE clothesline. Bucky lifts him off the mat and immediately hits another clothesline, but this time, he fakes like he's promenade waltzing with Pasillas for two measures, and then steps in and takes Mal's head off. That was actually kinda' cool, if slightly ridiculous in nature. Mal up off the mat, tie-up, and a snap suplex takes the Mexican down to the mat. Loony Latino up again, and Bucky whips him to the ropes, but Mal decides to slide out of the ring, escaping the match. Bucky runs towards him and goes for a baseball slide, but Pasillas ducks and reaches into the apron...and pulls out a Mexican flag! He turns to Bucky, takes a swing, and cracks the flag right over his head! The fans all boo as the flag staff shatters in half, and Bucky drops to the ground. Mal lifts the flag staff up into the air, and the fans all boo. Well, folks, time to bring out the garbage...and Mal takes "garbage wrestling" quite literally, as he pulls out a trash can, complete with lid. As Bucky tries to help himself up, Mal takes off the lid and drops the can. He raises it high, ready to smack Bucky into two days before New Year's, but Bucky makes a desperation grab at the other half of the broken flag, swinging the Mexican banner right into Pasillas' knees! Mal drops in pain, letting the lid fall to the ground in the process. Bucky raises the flag and waves it, and the few Hispanics in the crowd actually cheer - I dunno why, but whatever. Bucky then takes the flag and hands it respectfully to the announcers. Unfortunately, this proves to be a bad idea, as Mal comes behind him with the trash can, and just as the announcers take the flag, Mal smashes Bucky across the back! Bucky falls to his knees in pain, and Mal immediately runs in tosses the can towards the back of Bucky's head, and drop kicks the can! The metal compresses, and Bucky drops to the ground. Mal immediately stands, kicks the can off of Bucky, mounts his back, and...locks in a Camel Clutch! Oh, wait, I've just been informed that it's called a Burro Breaker. Bucky is so out of it from that ambush that he can't even yell in pain or attempt to escape. The ref goes to check on Bucky, and shakes his head, saying that he can't declare victory for Mal unless Bucky taps out or says that he quits. Mal drops the hold and immediately kicks Bucky in the side. That was a rude awakening (but not a Rude Awakening), and Bucky grabs his side in pain. Mal once again locks in the Burro Breaker, and the Master of the Diss begins tapping like crazy! Mal lets go of the hold and stands. He rolls into the ring and begins climbing the turnbuckles, while all the fans boo vehemently. And that's how we close out the show.

Winner: Malachi Pasillas by Tap Out at 14:25

The Ruling: I quit matches are generally more destructive, and more fast-paced. It was good for what it was, but they took a hell of a long time to get anything done, and the way it ended was a bit iffy. Could've gotten Squireship, or maybe even Knight-in-training (yes, I know the latter wasn't established on my original list), but those things drop it down to a Squire-in-training.

The Overall Ruling:

The show name threw me a bit, but I guess it drew a crowd, so I can't complain. Besides that, the matches weren't anything spectacular, but at least the promos were somewhat interesting. Squireship for this one, simply because I'm feeling benevolent.

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Attendance: 242

Gate: $2420

Edited November 3, 2005 by Nick Adams

[Nick Adams]

And after that, there was no meeting with Jacob. There was too much of a crowd. And since I was on campus anyway, I went back to my dorm and got on my computer. Seems that Harley's been having one hell of a time trying to sort out what is Mag-worthy, but...well, I guess I let him have that.

TO: Nick, AWO Ownah

FROM: Harlah Race

SUBJECT: Adjustin' the magazine writin'

So, mah boss lahks th' idea o' a Legend's Perspective column, featurin' none otha' than yoahs trulah. So, ah kinda' got a bit behind in mah regulah keepin' up with th' rasslin' world in general. But doan' worrah, Ah've trahd mah best. Ah would include a copy uh mah collum, but th' editers doan' wan' me t' give it out fer free, even t' people ah know. Sumthin' about bringin' up circulation or sumthin'. Eithuh way, heah we go...jes' the highlights.

Sum group oah uthuh run bah Jim Crockett, callin themselves Empahre Combat Academy jes' opened, an' they opened with th' intent t' be seen bah th' whole countrah. Some names ya' would recognahze: Jeff Hardy, Damien 666, Ron Waterman, Brian Adams (not related, Ah'm guessin'), Matt Cappotelli, an' Matt Murphy.

As foah bankruptcies, Stampede Rasslin' and World Xtreme Rasslin' both totallah liquidated theah assets an' closed up shop. But the Harts did put on one las' show in appreciation fer the fans. Ah didn't get ter see it, but ah herd it was purty good. Eithuh way, summary-stahle reportin' fer this, cuz Ah gotta' finish up mah column. So, news from aroun' the rasslin' world - sorrah ah've only got five companahs, magazine's been takin' up mah tahme.

WWE

- They jes' released Batista an' Trent Acid. Aftuh the Evolution angle got stale, the WWE had no idea what t' do with eithuh of these men, an' woun' up usin' them as "enhancement talents". Ah huhd tha' they wuh considerin' puttin' the belt on Dave, but guess not, huh?

CZW

- Ah'm still shocked tha' these men ahre th' numbah 2 companah in th' worl', but with theah steady relationship with MTV, they jes' keep goin'. Eithuh way, they hahred Shane Douglas, Steve Williams, Naoya Ogawa, and Kentaro Shiga (Japanese workahs ahre becomin' moah populah), and then released Anderson Silva (Not pullin' in th' silva' no moah...) an' Wifebeater (Guess that was too hardcoah, even foah them).

JAPW

- They sahned some indy prospects (one which ya' maht recognize) this month: Jeremy Horn, Jun Akiyama, an' Jose Maximo. They then went an' let go April Hunter ('cause theah female division was a bust) and Norihisa Yamamoto ('cause the ring announsah kept gettin' it wrong...somehow, tha' doan' make a lick o' sense...). They then stahted a National tour and sahned Alexandre Dantas and Dennis Hallman t' th' rostah.

ROH

- Some rosta' moves, as they hahred Double C (Yeah, CC...apparentlah, it means "carbon copy" oah sumthin'...but ah think th' offive guy maht've men' on mah e-mail program), Perro Aguayo Jr. (What kinda' man would give that name t' his kid?), Daisuke Nakamura, Alan Funk (Funkah hair, thas foah sure), Johnny Jeter, an' Chris Brennan, then wen' an let go Angel Dust (guess th' irony o' him wearin horns was los' on some o' the crowds) an' Caprice Coleman.

BCW

- Well, in a shockin' move bah th' companah, Frank Reed sold the group t' none otha' than Francisco Lutteroth, foahmah ownah o' CMLL. Canada, say hello t' Lucha Libre.

- Due t' the new ownahship, Mirko Cro Cop, Haruka Eigen, Necro Butcher, Invader #1, Angel Williams, Miss Natasha, an' Steve Blackman wuh given' theah fahnal paychecks, an' then tol' t' leave. Tough luck.

- An' with new ownahship comes some new workahs, so BCW, say hello t' luchadores Universo 2000, Shocker, Mr. Niebla, Caol Uno, Mr. Aguila, an' Electro Shock, joined bah new workahs Shashka Dushku, Jimmy Snuka Jr., John Paisano, Allan Goes, an Spanky. Ah hope Lutteroth can keep this companah afloat, 'cause he sure didn't know how t' run CMLL...'cept intuh th' groun'.

An that's it from me, kid. Good luck in yoah neck o' the woods.

Umm...right...I never really stay up late enough to watch CZW on Tuesdays, but I hear it's a good show. Either way, that's enough of wrestling for me...even though the WWE felt it necessary to mail me the results of Backlask because I signed up for that stupid Fantasy thing earlier in the year. Whatever.

I just hope that Jacob doesn't go off and do something stupid without asking me.

[Nick Adams]

(OOC: Just realized I had this lying around on my hard drive, slightly unfinished. Well, I was going to use this time to write up something else entirely, but seeing as that fell through, I've got time to write up what I've got left. But I'm probably just going to be as sporadic as usual with the updates after this. It's probably half the reason I don't have a lot of readers. Meh, whatever. I enjoy doing it once in a while, so there you are.)

Well, we had an interesting month. It's almost like when we started out. In fact, it's exactly like when we started out. We're back at the schoolyard, thank you very much. Landred is LOA, and has been since we put on our show up at CSU, so we weren't able to book anywhere else. Not that it really matters, as it's a bright and sunny day, there's no kids in the schoolyard, and the place has finally been zoned so that we don't need a permit every time we have a show. Unfortunately, with Jacob gone, we have a small problem.

Since he's the only one that knows about one of our sponsorships, we had to scrounge around. So instead of Jacob's unnamed payout, we somehow managed to get The Cheesecake Factory (the company, not one restaurant) to sponsor us for one show...if we toned down our wrestling a bit. And if we changed our show name. So our advertisement was pretty much just the show name, and "Matches to be announced during the show!" So what is the show called, pray tell?

Mmm, Cheesecake...

And due to this fact, while John Reynolds was going to come back to our little corner of Colorado, he decided against it, and said he'd be back for Aurora Wrestling III. And...Corey, where are you going? Wait, you were going to write this show! What the...oh, fine then, don't write it, see if I care! So, erm, who wants to write this thing?

Bulldust: Aye'll do eet, bosse!

Oh, thanks, Bulldust. Well, I've gotta' go open the show, so I'll see you later.

Bulldust: Okaye, bosse.

And with that, I give you...oh shit...

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Wayeele, eet's tyeeme foare El Bulldust tue due heese bayeeste tue riyeete eh leeteele beete of eh recap. Soah, to opeene dee showe, Chris Idol cayeeme oute ende playeede one cancion a la guitarra. Eet was preetty, pero eet was no El Bulldust songue. End nowe wee stayeert dee showe weeth a leeteel beet of lucha...and out comes Nick, ready tue lucha, but hee seemes tue bee a beete deestracteed...

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Elsewhere in the open-area "backstage"

Ahern: Hey, check this out...looks like Nick is trying to signal us or something.

Victor: Okay, he wants us to start dancing...no, wait, there's an airplane coming in...no, wait...he wants us to do jumping jacks...

Ace: Or he could just be trying to say "SOS".

Ahern: Well, he tripped over himself either way.

They all shrug.

Victor: What do you think he wanted?

Ahern: I dunno...hey, Corey, you've known Nick the longest, care to...Corey? Where is he?

Ace: I thought you knew. He's only gonna' be here for a bit, and then he's gone.

Victor: Wait a second...if Corey's gone, and Nick is out there...who's doing the show report?

All three of them look over at the seat reserved for the show reviewer, and see El Bulldust.

Victor: What in the world?

Ahern: Anyone wanna' stop him?

Ace: I'll do it.

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Ende wee stayeerte thee matchees weethe...

Nick Adams vs. Tommy Chill

End...oah, hiyee Ace. Howe ahre jou? Waht? Oah...

And that's all you'll be reading of Bullglish. Ace here, doing the report from this point. What made Nick think that having El Bulldust do the report was a good idea is beyond me. Too bad I can't complain to Nick, as Tommy Chill is currently beating the life out of him. And he's doing a rather good job of it. And Nick has become a human projectile, with the turnbuckle as his target. OUCH! And Chill continues the beating. Finally, Nick gets in one kick, two kick, and hits a back kick...and promptly falls flat on his face after hitting the third shot. Smooth move there, "Crashpad". Chill immediately lifts Adams and tosses him into the far corner. As Adams stumbles out, Tommy rushes in and hits the Chill Factor for the pinfall, and the victory. But Tommy ain't done yet! Chill lifts Adams off the ground, and...a Mauling (which is also known as the Jackhammer). Now that's what I call sacrificing yourself for the good of the company.

Match Quality: 69% (And some big bruises for Nick)

Crowd Reaction:: 40% (Because who doesn't like to see some guy get totally and utterly demolished?)

Overall:: 54%

I almost forgot we had a commissioner...

Until Drake "The Dentist" Strata comes out to the ring. The fans are giving a mixed reaction, but the fans are enthusiastic. Then again, what do I know? I'm just a techie, really...so Drake's Ring Entrance gets a good reaction from me. He steps into the ring. And he said a lot of stuff which I missed 'cause I was , so I'll just kinda' give the just.

DDS: Blah blah blah, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the commissioner, but I haven't exercised my power. And since today's contests are being made as we go along, I thought I should schedule a match, which is going to be next! Jason Rumble versus none other than Alexander Worthington the Third!

Cheap cheer somewhere in there, and Drake walks backstage. Okay, that was just plain boring for me, but the fans seemed to like it well enough. Whatever. It was just a guy scheduling a match, and a match between two tag team competitors, at that.

Overall: 65%

And with that out of the way...

Alexander Worthington III vs Jason Rumble

Ring Entrances: Worthington is in a suit, takes off the jacket, rolls up his shirt sleeves, and he's good to go. Rumble comes out dressed like Steve Austin, carrying an autograph book. Hands book to AW3, who, with much annoyance, signs it. Rumble smiles and scampers off, hands the book and pen to a ring aid. And the match starts. Now, I don't know wrestling moves, so...okay, Rumble takes a big slammy thing. And another big slammy thing. Alex goes for another one, but Jason counters with some kinda' attack that smashes Worthington belly-first onto Rumble's knee. Alex starts hurting, and Jason...begins to apologize. A lot. And then helps Alex up. And Alex thanks him with a clothesline (I at least learned that one). Jason really needs to learn when not to be a total fanboy. Either way, this leads to Worthington kicking more butt...until Rumble manages a huge backbreaker (or at least that's what Victor called it). And this time, no apologies, as he lifts Alex up and hits a lariat. And another backbreaker. Hammerlock from Rumble, and it becomes a hammerlock from Worthington. But suddenly, a whip to the ropes by Jason, and Worthington is tossed into the air. Rumble turns...and a Moment ends this match, giving Rumble the victory. That was a quick comeback...whatever.

Match Quality: 68% (And an interesting visit to the chiropractor for Alex)

Crowd Reaction: 37% (Because of the instantaneous comeback, which was a head-scratcher, or at least that's Victor's term)

Overall: 52%

And as Alex leaves, Mark comes out

And some of the fans cheer, while others just clap politely. Either way, he steps into the ring, and Jason stands and smiles. Mark walks over and nods at him.

Mark: Nice match, kid.

Jason: Thanks, Mark! You don't know how much that means to me to hear that from you!

Mark: Uh...yeah, sure, don't mention it.

Jason: So I did good?

Looks like Mark is definitely not out here to see Jason, as Out isn't totally interested. But he turns towards an almost puppy-dog eyed Rumble (which is really weird to see, considering the guy is in his late 20's, and was once called the Boston Bad Boy) and nods.

Mark: Yeah, kid, you did well.

Jason lets out a sound of joy and scampers off, just glad to get Mark's approval. As Rumble goes backstage, Mark turns back to the crowd.

Mark: Now, just seein' Jason wrestle made me realize that I haven't been in th' ring one-on-one in a while. So I guess it's time for the Marksman...

Oh, goody, he thought up his own nickname. And lo and behold, unlike other Stone Cold imitators, he doesn't parody the nickname "Stone Cold". Nope, he takes from...hey, Nick, who's the guy that got screwed over in 1997 by the WWF? "Bret 'The Hitman' Hart." Yeah. Instead, Mark steals from that. Either way...

Mark: To face somebody mano a mano. So, if somebody would be man enough to get out here and face me, I'll take him on, and give him a Moment that he'll never forget!

And some high-pitched guitar notes play over the speakers. Out walks Christopher Idol, electric guitar slung across his back, and he looks ready to rock. Not a bad Ring Entrance, I have to say. Either way, Idol walks into the ring and grabs a microphone.

Idol: Well, Marky Mark, you wanna' rock this place? I got to words for you: I'M IN!

Mark nodded, and looked around. He then turned towards Idol.

Mark: Well, Chris, I think I should ask the fans. If you wanna' see me fight this guy, gimme a cheer!

Obligatory crowd reaction.

Mark: Well, guess that settles that. Take off your little guitar, and let's get to business.

Idol nods, and both men get ready for the match.

Overall: 53% (And I really wish we could use pyrotechnics for Chris' entrance...)

Mark Out vs. Christopher Idol

After both men finish up getting ready and the bell rings, Chris rushes in at Mark and hits a flying..."Lariat"...thanks, Nick. Mark immediately goes down, but both men stand. Before Chris can get in another attack, Mark throws a punch, and begins to brawl. Not exactly inventive wrestling, but Idol is definitely out of his element. He tries to throw a punch, but before he even moves again, Mark decks him, slamming him into the ground. And an over-exaggerated elbow drop follows. And a near-pin. Mark whips Idol to the corner, but Idol pulls some acrobatics by running up the turnbuckle, jumping off, and hitting a spinny twisty thing on the Marksman, resulting in a pin of his own, which doesn't get the count. Back up, Mark puts on a reverse arm bar. Idol reverses into a hammerlock. Mark reverses, but Idol flips up around, etc. etc., and then does something with his legs that whips Mark's head to the ground. (Victor: "Headscissors takedown.") Thanks. And a standing splash. So far, these two really don't match. It's like comparing paper towels to desserts - there's very little basis with which to do it. In fact, looking at the rest of this, it's Chris flying around with Mark going slow with brawls and slams. And it all ends with a Moment...those seem to be happening a lot lately...either way, Mark gets the pinfall, and the crowd starts cheering. Mark stands and nods, but due to our sponsors, he can't do the obligatory beer celebration afterwards.

Match Quality: 61% (Of course. These two were so much of a styles clash that I'm surprised it wasn't lower.)

Crowd Reaction: 46% (But the crowd liked it, so there you are.)

Overall: 53%

And after that, "The Peace Man" Michael Shane comes out...

And he's wearing his traditional garb. The fans are booing, and Shane stays at the top of our ramp...well, what passes for a ramp, at least. He looks around, smiles, and then begins to speak. I really didn't like his Ring Entrance, personally, so I sorta' tuned out this part, too...well, kinda'. I caught the general idea...

Peace Man: Peace be with you. Now, I realize that you miscreants do not understand the Way of Peace, and that this industry which you disgusting people support is glorifying conflict and violence. You fail to realize that my teachings are far better. But I have finally found a convert.

Okay, so I cheated and watched the tape afterwards. Sue me. Either way...

Peace Man: He once lived a life of depravity, and as such has decided to forget about his past entirely. As such, he has named himself after the position which he will take in proclaiming the Way of Peace. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...THE PROPHET!

And the fans begin to boo as Shane's ally comes out. He's dressed in similar garb, and everybody can see that the Prophet is indeed a protogé of the Peace Man. He looks around and smiles.

Prophet: Indeed, these men and women are depraved, as you have told me, Michael. And indeed, these men and women need to see what the Way of Peace stands for. But to all of you in the crowd, I wish to let you know that unlike Michael Shane, I am not adverse to violence. I wish to utilize it to display to every last one of you that those that live violent lives get their just reward.

Well, he's eloquent, I'll give you that.

Prophet: In fact, I defy any man in the AWO to come out and face me. For the AWO is full of violent men that do not deserve forgiveness, and while the Peace Man will spread the message, the Prophet shall bring retribution!

And with that, Doc Dean's music hits. His Ring Entrance is kinda' boring, really. But the fans seem into it, so there you go. And I guess we have a match.

Overall: 62%

The Prophet vs Doc Dean

Before Shane can even clear out, Doc jumps the ropes and hits a gigantic body splash (Nick: "Springboard Lou Thesz Press, actually."), taking the Prophet out. Some shots to the jaw later, and the ref both starts the match and forces Doc to dismount the Prophet. Shane is visibly angry that Dean gained the upper hand early, but the Prophet comes back, and Dean eats a drop kick. The fans boo, Prophet hits an elbow drop, lift, and an Irish whip results in a back body drop on Double D. Prophet hits another Irish whip, but Doc jumps up to the second rope, springs off, and hits an amazing...erm...(Ahern: "Springboard crossbody attack."). Yeah, that. Gets the pin, but just one count. Dean goes to the second rope and hits an elbow drop. Pin gets two. Doc goes for another flying thingamajig, but the Prophet moves out of the way, and then rolls out of the ring! Dean is left rolling on the mat in pain, and the Peace Man walks over and coaches the Prophet a bit, helping him to his feet as he does so. Doc manages to stand, looks towards the Prophet and Shane, and immediately rushes at them. GIGANTIC PLANCHA SUICIDA (Bulldust: "Hey! Onlee Mexicans cayeene doo dat!")...erm...gigantic suicide dive (Bulldust: "Bettayeere.") from Doc Dean onto both men, and it's a train wreck. And now the ref starts the count-out...but all three men stand at the same time, and all of them are shaky. Dean and the Prophet slide in at five, and the Prophet immediately hits a DDT. Michael Shane then gets on the apron and begins to cheer on the Prophet, but the ref goes over and attempts to get Shane to clear out. This distraction allows the Prophet to pull out something from his pocket...brass knuckles! And he clobbers Dean with them just as Doc stands! The Prophet hides the knuckles in his pocket again, and Shane gets off the apron. The ref turns in time to see the Prophet make the pinfall, and Michael Shane's protoge gets the victory. But wait - Shane slides in as the ref raises the Prophet's arm and walks over to him. They begin to talk, and then turn to Doc Dean. Suddenly, as Doc stands, Michael nearly decapitates him with the Peace Keeper! Dean is down, and the Prophet and Shane raise their hands high.

Match Quality: 78% (Well, the match did do pretty well for what it was.)

Crowd Reaction: 34% (They figured it was going to be another "boring new guy" match, but got into it near the end.)

Overall: 56%

And the champion whose title blends with his outfit shows up...

And the fans that haven't seen him before don't cheer until the others tell them that the Red Sash of Courage is actually a title, and not a costume enhancement. After that, they got more interested. Anyways, the usual music from "Pirates of the Caribbean" was playing in the background until David got a microphone. He then looked around the crowd.

David: ARRRRR!

And the fans cheered for the champion. I heard somebody say that having a pirate as our top face would never work. Well, it does, so they're probably smacking themselves in the head right about now. Either way...

David: Well, this old pirate has heard some rumblins abou' this here sash that I be wearin' so proudly around me waist. People be sayin' that I should fight a true champion, somebody that knows his way in th' ring.

Quick pause, and the fans wait quietly and attentively. Well, it could be worse. They could be chanting "Boring!" over and over.

David: While it pains me ter be sayin' this, th' one man tha' deserves ter take a shot fer the title be none other than the previous champion.

The fans all begin to cheer.

David: The problem be that Paul London be elsewhere besides th' AWO.

And a sudden boo as people begin to slowly realize who the champion before Paul London was.

David: Ye be right ter boo fer th' man that I must be callin' on fer this next match. He be a right brigand, but no brigand that I'd be sailin' with. He complains abou' how nobody be likin' him 'cause he's Spanish, but th' real reason nobody likes him is because he's a scarvy landlubber tha' don' have nothin' better ter do but wail about his fortunes!

And a boo echoes throughout the area.

David: So, Pasillas, if ye be man enough ter face me, I'm bein' equal-minded! Ye be th' one ter get a shot at this sash! ARRRRR!

And the fans all cheered loudly for the champion. And on cue, out comes Malachi Pasillas, PO'ed and ready for action. Of course, considering he's 5'3", it's kinda' hard for him to really portray a menacing bad guy, but he portrays an angry minority well enough. Either way, Mal slides in, keeping on his t-shirt with the Mexican flag on the front, and I see he's got some new pleather pants, which are red, white, and green in a kinda' swirly pattern. Meh, on to the match.

Overall: 59%

Red Sash of Courage match: David Michaels {C} vs Malachi Pasillas

And the fans are hot for this one. Before the bell even rings, Mal immediately rushes in and hits a flying wheel kick on Michaels, taking down the champ. A quick elbow drop follows, and Mal gets a one-count. Mal gets David off the mat and goes for a DDT, but the champ immediately hits an...overhead slam thing that Michaels bridges for the two-count. (Victor: "Northern Lights Suplex.") Right. Either way, quick but not neat body slam on Mal afterwards, and then some boots for good measure. Whip to the ropes, and Mal comes back with a flying crossbody attack. Quick pin gets two. David finally gets fed up with the regular wrestling and throws a punch. But Mal comes back with a shot of his own. Back and forth blows, and I think I overhear Benny (one of our announcers) say something about some mortuary owner or something...either way, David blocks a punch, and a clothesline results. Whip to the ropes, and this time Michaels hits a shoulder block. And a back body drop. And Michaels is gaining some steam - he immediately hits another slam thingamajig (Nick: "Oklahoma Slam.") on the smaller Pasillas. Mal is in pain. David whips Mal into the corner and lifts him up so he's sitting on top of the turnbuckle. Michaels gets on the second rope...but repeated punches from Mal send David slamming and rolling back onto the mat. Pasillas gets onto the top rope, and as David stands, Mal flies off and immediately hits a rana (see, I know some terminology), flipping Michaels over and holding on for the pin. David kicks out at two, and Mal is totally incredulous that he didn't just win. Mal lifts David up and whips him to the ropes. Goes for a Tornado DDT on the rebound, but David blocks the attack, and then counters with a spinebuster! David lifts Pasillas off the mat and whips him to the ropes - tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! And the pirate champion once again tosses Mal into the corner. And we all know what's coming next - ARR, MATEY! David just lands on top of Mal after the belly-to-belly suplex and stays there. He gets the three-count, and wins the belt! Mal stays down in the ring, which is probably a good idea, considering the non-comeback he made. Either way, David removes the Sash, climbs a turnbuckle, and begins to swing the title above his head. The fans are going nuts, and this is definitely a good place to finish off the show.

Match Quality: 61% (Another styles clash, and a one-sided styles clash at that.)

Crowd Reaction: 55% (But the fans were eating it up like an ice cream sundae in 80 degree weather.)

Overall: 58%

---------END SHOW---------

Overall: 57%

Attendance: 137

Gate: $2740

[Nick Adams]

Jacob Landred sat in the dark room, still not sure where he was. But he did know one thing. It was something that they had told him the first day they put him in here. He had made some mistakes - some big mistakes. And until he figured out how he was going to insure that he wasn't going to repeat them, he was going to be stuck in here. Of course, that was the innate problem in dealing with crooks. Eventually, either you became a crook, or the crooks screwed you over. Of course, seeing as they had yet to fill him in on what was actually going on, he at least had the alibi of not being aware of any criminal activity. Okay, that was total bullshit - of the higher-ups, only Adam Caulder and Nick had no clue what was actually going on with Landred's "business associates". He still remembered the original plan.

- Find somebody you can control easily.

- Arrange for him or her to get a windfall of money in whatever way you can, preferably in a way which has questionable legality.

- See what he or she does with the money. If he or she starts a business, keep track of it for a little while.

- If he or she uses the money in way which would allow for meetings, tell us.

- Arrange for whatever the money is financing to be held in areas with secluded spots where large groups of people would go unnoticed.

- Make sure to keep whoever you arranged to get the money in line.

And he'd screwed it up. So here he was, being fed well, but having no connection to the outside world besides a daily conversation with his "business associates". Well, it was quite the deal. But he'd heard about how his "friends" were going to make Nick's life a bit more difficult. They'd already arranged for a few little problems to arise in the AWO that wouldn't have otherwise happened...and that worried Jacob more than he would ever show.

---------------------------

Well, three days after our show in the park, I was feeling pretty good. The show had gone well, considering who I was working with. We'd managed to successfully debut an effective wrestler, albeit at the expense of our only permanent roster fixture. But hey, he's under a permanent contract. Either way, things looked to be going well. We were making money. We were selling videos of previous shows at a good rate, all things considered, and were probably going to make some T-Shirts to sell at the next show. But true to AWO, when things went well, they then proceeded to screw with me just enough to be annoying.

So, three days after our show, we decided to have a party. Nothing big, just a kind of "Thank you," to our impromptu sponsor. That's right, we decided to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. (OOC: Yes, I realize this is cheap plugging of a restaurant in a diary that won't get any money for doing it. I don't particularly care, really, since I love the jambalaya pasta.) It wasn't as weird as Armando's, since the only person that decided to stay kayfabe was El Bulldust (for obvious reasons). But I found out some very distressing news.

Mal Pasillas: Oh, by the way, Bulldust, I got a call from Uncle Francisco the other day...actually, the day right after our last show.

Bulldust: Reeleey? Whate deede hee wahnte?

Mal: Well, he's running Border City Wrestling, and he asked me if I wanted to go up and wrestle for him.

Me: Wait a second...Uncle Francisco? Are you talking about Francisco Lutteroth?

Mal: Yeah. He's actually a distant relative, but it's easier to call him our uncle. Either way, Nick, since I was working on a show-by-show basis, and I don't have the title, I figured that leaving by losing the main event would be okay.

Great...just great...one of our top stars is now gone.

Me: It's your career, Mal, but considering where the guy took CMLL, let me just say that the door's always open if you want to come back.

Mal: All right, Nick, I'll remember that if I ever need to come back.

And like that, I lost a former champion. That made two people signed away for being good enough to be popular. I later found out that he wound up going from main eventing to being a midcarder, but that's the way things work - when you move up, you move down. Still, after dinner, I got some stranger news, from none other than "The Peace Man" himself, Michael Shane (though I called him by his real name, Matt, simply because it was easier. I still didn't quite get why he didn't want to go by Matt Bentley, but whatever).

Shane: Hey, Nick, could I talk to you for a second?

Me: Sure, I've got the time. What do you want?

Shane: Well, I was thinking - I haven't really defined the Way of Peace in my promos...

Me: Okay, Matt, so go figure out what it actually is. Up to this point, you've just been a hypocritical preacher, but if you really want to define what it's all about for the fans, feel free.

Shane: Uh, you see, that's the thing - I want to take some time off to research the subject.

Me: You want the next month off? Feel free, man, I can work out a way to keep you off the show.

Shane: Actually, I was thinking a bit longer...

Me: How long?

Shane: Well, you see, I was thinking that to really define myself as the Peace Man, I have to establish what I believe. So I was thinking of spending some time in Asia - you know, Tibet, India, Thailand, Japan, just doing some research into Eastern religions.

Me: Well, as long as you've got the personal funds...but that still doesn't answer the basic question of how long you'll be gone.

Shane: Three to six months.

Ay, basura...wait, I'm thinking in Spanish now? Oy...

Me: Well, if you really think it will help you more fully develop your character, go ahead. But I can't promise you that I'll have anything for you to do when you get back, except maybe a tag team match with the Prophet.

Shane: Thanks for understanding, boss. I'll try and be back as soon as I can.

And just like that, Matthew Bentley (I'm gonna' change it, 'cause I have a feeling the WWE is gonna' sue me at some point if I don't) was now not wrestling for anybody for an extended period of time, unless he got bored and decided to do a show in Japan. Either way, it was annoying, but I could recoup. I had some unused talent still on the roster - it was time I brought some more of the Original 10 back into the show again.

But first, I was gonna' check my e-mail.

[Nick Adams]

Time for the Monthly Message from Harley...not that I'm really in the mood, but I figure since he made the effort (and since I actually bought a copy of the magazine for which he works, and saw that he actually did do some research for his article, as opposed to doing the obvious - ranting), I might as well read it. So, here we go.

TO: Nick, AWO Ownah

FROM: "The King" Harlah Race

SUBJ: Rasslin' - what else do Ah talk about with ya'?

Hey, kid. Ah herd about yuh crazy plan tuh go up agains' Judgement Day...oh, yuh dun did it befoah th' Pay-Pur-View, huh? Not a bad idea...eithuh way, Ah herd through th' grapevine tha' yuh dun gotten a subsripshun t' th' magazahne. Good fer ya', Ah think. But they still doan' quite make th' goins-on in th' rasslin' world reallah easah t' understan'. So, th' short an' sweet o' th' month...

Ring of Honah

- Desahded t' end th' national tour an' go back t' theah roots. As a result, they let go o' Hydro and Austin Aries.

JAPW

- Same as ROH, but they released Joey Ryan an' Masada instead.

- But latuh in th' month, they wen' an fahred Alexandre Dantas, Justice Pain, an' Kaz Hayashi.

NJPWID

- Antonio Pena desahded that if Francisco Lutteroth can run a rasslin' companah in Canada, he can run one in Jersey.

- Not wantin' t' be undah a man used t' Lucha Libre, the followin' people left - Rocky Gunn, Bob Backlund, Magnum TOKYO, HEAT, Rocky Romero, an' TJ Wilson. Ah wondah if th' Rockys an' the capitals lef' 'cause Pena told 'em to?

- Well, eithuh way, ter replace 'em, he brought in Trent Acid, Chris Stylez, Sharmell Sullivan, Mike Sullivan (no relation), Chigusa Nagayo, Axl Rotten, and, in a surprise hirin' that Ah nevah saw comin', Batista.

- It's a far cry from AAA, but it's a start.

SOTBPW

- Hardcoah rasslin' promotah Rob Black took this companah ovah. Deah Gawd, this ain' gonna' look good fer Mexican rasslin'...

- SOTBPW mainstays Anthony W. Mori, Lil' Nate, John Phoenix, Charly Manson, Black Dragon, Derek Wylde, Oz, and Scoria all left in protest. Kinda' ironic - Rob Black comes in, and th' group called "The Black Family" leaves (Oz, Scoria, an' Manson, th' last o' which replaced Cuervo).

- Wantin' t' restaht th' gahbage brawls he used t' have elseweah, he desahded t' hahre Jason th' Legend, Abbadon, Chris Masters, Malachi, Triplelicious, Boogalou, LA Smooth, an' Nuisance.

BCW

- Ah realahse this is a soah spot fer yah, but lease' Ah can give ya an explanation.

- Lutteroth desahded t' take BCW through all o' Canada, an' even parts o' New England, so he needed some extra people. So he foun' Trinity, Tony Givens, Funaki an' one of yoah guys, Malachi Pasillas. Personalah, ah'd take it as a complimen' on yoah bookin' abilities...

Retirins

- Eric Bischoff - EZE desahds t' stop bein' a WWE employee an' becomes a homebody.

- Paul Bearer - well, he wasn' doin' anythin' anyway.

An' with that, g'night!

Indeed.

I decided that if I was going to come back from losing one of our biggest stars and then having one of our newer people go on an undetermined LOA, I was going to have to pull out all the guns. And that meant doing something big. It meant getting a TV show, and soon. And that meant putting on a damn good show. So, with that in mind, I booked something I hoped might just work...

Presents...

t3h 1nt3rn3t r00lz j00!

Confirmed Matches:

- The Ultimate Marks vs The Upper Crust -

Tag team action returns to the AWO ring with a bang, pitting "AWO Fanboy" Jason Rumble and "The Marksman" Mark Out against Duke Danger of Argh and Alexander Worthington the Third. Will the men with nicknames win out, or will money indeed prove itself to be power?

- Shaun Draw vs Doc Dean -

The last time Shaun Draw was in the ring, he wiped the floor with "Crashpad" Nick Adams. Last month, Doc Dean saw defeat at the hands of the Peace man and the Prophet. Will the Doc be able to handle the Angry Man of the AWO, or will he have to make a house call for himself?

- Drew Porter vs Matt Inferno -

Two long-time AWO wrestlers return to the ring to face off against each other in what should be an exciting match. But will Drew's varying array of personalities be able to stand up to the Burn-I-Nation?

- Bucky vs The Prophet -

The last time Bucky was in the ring, he lost a Red Sash of Courage shot to the "Mexican Maniac" Malachi Pasillas. Meanwhile, the Prophet, with the help of "The Peace Man" Michael Shane, managed to pull out a victory against Doc Dean. But the true question is this - can the Master of the Diss take on the Way of Peace's Warrior?

- Drake Strata vs Christopher Idol -

The Commissioner reqeusted this match personally. Having seen his match against Mark Out last month, Strata wants Idol to prove himself worthy of his position on the roster. It's do or die for Idol, because if he doesn't win, Idol is FIRED!

- Nick Adams vs El Bulldust -

El Bulldust wants to do an episode of El Bullring! But Adams would only agree if he was in a match later in the night. The Crashpad and the Bull - this is bound to be a barnburner!

- Red Sash of Courage Match: David Michaels {C} vs Tommy Chill -

Finally, in the main event, David Michaels defends his title against one of the few people who have not taken a shot at the top champion of the AWO at one point or another. Will the "Polar Bear" maul the pirate, or will Michaels once again send his opponent to Davey Jones' locker?

DON'T MISS IT!

[Beeker00Zero]

Letters from Harley... who's no Jerry Jarrett, but still enjoyable in his own right... and a lot more legitimate legend than Jerry ever will be.

TO: Nick, AWO Ownah

FROM: "The King" Harlah Race

SUBJ: Rasslin' - what else do Ah talk about with ya'?

Harley... makes more sense than Jerry.

NJPWID

- Antonio Pena desahded that if Francisco Lutteroth can run a rasslin' companah in Canada, he can run one in Jersey.

- Not wantin' t' be undah a man used t' Lucha Libre, the followin' people left - Rocky Gunn, Bob Backlund, Magnum TOKYO, HEAT, Rocky Romero, an' TJ Wilson. Ah wondah if th' Rockys an' the capitals lef' 'cause Pena told 'em to?

- Well, eithuh way, ter replace 'em, he brought in Trent Acid, Chris Stylez, Sharmell Sullivan, Mike Sullivan (no relation), Chigusa Nagayo, Axl Rotten, and, in a surprise hirin' that Ah nevah saw comin', Batista.

- It's a far cry from AAA, but it's a start.

[Nick Adams]

(OOC: Just when I decide to pick up my WWE diary again because I had writer's block for this one, I get writer's block for the 'E. So here we are, two months after my last post, and I'm just now putting this up. So...

Before I do this, thanks for the predictions, Beeker. Let's see how right you were, eh? And by the way, I had simmed the show before Beeker made a reply...he knows me far too well by now...To anybody who saw this and read it because it was on the first page, hopefully I'll update this more often that I have.

To anybody that happened to read my KotD entry, and decided to see if I hopefully did better with this, including people that voted for it, the gimmicks are just kinda' random stuff.

I blame the Peace Man and the Prophet on some late-night reading of some criticism of religious bigotry, and realize that Michael Shane is nothing like what I made him out to be. The other gimmicks are just me wondering what to do with somebody, and then just randomly picking from the list. Jason Rumble's AWO FanBoy thing is due to an invented mental breakdown after he was unceremoniously released from the NWA. Christopher Idol's "rock star" gimmick is something that I just figured might work, since I checked to see who he really was, and it turns out that he'd be willing to anything to entertain the fans. If he plays guitar, cool. If not...well, sorry, folks.

Also, I realize putting myself on the roster isn't the best of ideas, but hey, it isn't like I'm going to push myself to the moon - unless there really is some kind of merit to it. If it's any consolation, in EWR I'm giving myself gimmicks that don't work. Plus, who says it's not realistic for me to be in the company as an active competitor? I actually do have a black belt. If I owned a wrestling company, I probably would put myself on the roster for the hell of it.

Oh, and apologies for the long interval. Real life is a pain in the ass.)

The AWO Presents...

t3h 1nt3rn3t r00lz j00

Live from Liberty Stadium in Aurora, CO

June 25, 2006

This is Victor doing the recap. I don't know about anybody else, but I think I'm the least qualified out of everyone to write up a show. I remember the last time I did this. Then again, I at least know what wrestling is about now - moves, that sort of thing. But at least the weather is okay, and I'm watching the tape of this. Speaking of which, the AWO is selling the backlog of all of its events on DVD...well, except for the first three or four, which weren't taped.

Firstly, to explain the location - Nick finally decided that after the last show, he was tired of doing school yard shows. So instead, he decided to do a show in a stadium. So we're having the show at one end of the football field. There are also chairs surrounding something else at the end of the field, but I can't tell what. Guess I'll find out later.

Either way, the show starts off with a bang, as we're finally allowed to use fireworks.

And a recorded version of "Last Train Home" as covered by the AWO House Band, Borealis, hits the speakers. Apparently it's an old song, but it sounds okay...either way, we're hitting the ground running here, since we're starting off immediately with...

Upper Crust vs Ultimate Marks

UC against UM...sounds like a college football rivalry, doesn't it? Either way, basic entrances by both...okay, not-so-basic, as the Duke and Worthington arrive in a limo. They're dressed to compete, but this smacks of John Layfield...at least from what I've seen of my son's wrestling video games.

Either way, there seems to be some tension between Jason and Mark, since they're in the corner talking about which man should go in first. Jason steps forward, then Mark, then Jason. Finally, the ref walks over to them and reminds them about the AWO tag team rules, and points towards Alexander Worthington III and the Duke of Argh, who are both holding microphones.

AW3: As much as we both would love to see you keep bickering amongst yourselves, we happen to have things to do and people to see, and we have very little time in which to do it.

Duke: Therefore, we wish to get this match started posthaste. And might I say, you no-class miscreants, that it's a wonder that you weren't just picked out of the crowd. You certainly would fit in with this poorly-attired collection or lowlifes.

And the fans respond with an easy boo. Of course.

AW3: But enough of that...you're it!

And thus begins the match, with two men, highly born, against two men of a rather lower estate...and what in the world am I saying? Either way, a brawl immediately ensues, just a lot of punching, et cetera et cetera. When did this turn into a battle royal? Either way, the brawling proceeds. And Jason gets slammed down. Soon followed by Worthington. And the Duke and Mark go off and fight each other. Quick grapple, and the Duke hits a vertical suplex. And then a back breaker. And then a body slam. While Out is taking punishment, Jason and AW3 are up and battling chop for chop, and it looks like it's not gonna' stop...until the Duke of Argh decides to come over and grab Rumble in a full nelson hold, allowing AW3 to deal out a barrage of punches before Danger lifts Rumble up and hits a gigantic Full Nelson Slam. But right as he smashes Rumble to the mat, Mark Out comes up and lariats him down. And another lariat sends AW3 all the way out of the ring. Mark then proceeds to beat up on the Duke with some punches as Jason stands. Whip to the ropes by Out, Danger ducks some dastardly damage, only to recieve a stalling spinebuster by Rumble! AW3 rolls into the ring immediately afterwards, but only stands into a Moment from Rumble! Mark watches in amusement...and obvious annoyance...as the AWO Fanboy celebrates by dropping down into AW3's face. But right then, the Duke stands and pulls Rumble off the ground. They begin to brawl, but at that exact moment, Mark spins the Duke around and hits him with a Moment! AW3 and the Duke are out cold! But before Mark can get his own little anger-inspired yelling-in-the-face on the Duke, Rumble drops down and does it. Mark is obviously a bit perturbed by this, and taps the AWO Fan Boy on the shoulder. Jason stands up smiling, but you can see that Mark is asking him what the guy is doing. This carries on for about a minute, with Jason explaining himself while Mark gets angrier and angrier. But before it totally explodes, Worthington and the Duke of Argh bum rush Jason, planting him with a double bulldog. They then go and take on Mark. But before it can get into a brawl, the Duke rolls forward and hits a schoolboy rollup on Mark, and holds on to the tights to get the pinfall! The Duke and Alexander stand and begin to celebrate, but suddenly, Mark and Jason both stand, turn AW3 and Danger around, and hit them both with Moments! Jason and Mark then share an uneasy look, and exit the ring on opposite sides.

Match Quality: 64%

Crowd Reaction: 43%

Overall: 56%

El Bullring

And as promised, we have "El Bullring". Of course, Bulldust comes out singing a somewhat newer song ("Dirty Little Secret" by the All-American Rejects - I don't know who they are, but the song is okay, if I understand the lyrics right), of course with his own personal pronunciation of it. If he doesn't eventually bill himself as a "Seeingeeingue Sensayshun", I'll be surprised. Either way, he steps into the ring.

El Bulldust: Welcome to EEEEEELLLLLL BOOOOOOOOLLLLLREEIIIINGUEEEE!

And the fans are...cheering. Okay, weird. Really weird. But whatever. He immediately rectifies this with...

Bulldust: End jou all knowe dat Eye ayme El Bulldust - dee onlee mayeen een dees companee dat cayeen trulee sayee dat he ees betayeer dayeen all of jou!

And that gets the easy boo. Well, I guess his seeingeeingue has improved to the point that he needs to insult the crowd to get a reaction. Either way, he keeps going.

Bulldust: But jou alreedeey knowe dat, soah Eye'me goeeingue toah breeingue oute dee payeersahn dat Eye'm goeeingue to fayeese laytayeer toniyeet!

And with that, Nicholas Adams steps out onto the ramp with his music blaring. He comes down and steps into the ring, uncharactaristically without any mess-ups. He steps in with a microphone and stands opposite El Bulldust.

El Bulldust: Jou cahn bahleense nowe, Eye see.

Adams: Thank you, Capitan Obvioso. Care to actually do your job?

El Bulldust: Wayeele, jou've gaht spunke...so, howe does eet feele too bee dee onlee guye ohn dee rostayeer too bee repeeteedlee be tossed ayround dee reeingue end lose ovayeer end ovayeer?

Adams: Watch your mouth, Bulldust, or I'm going to have to shut it for you.

Bulldust: Wayeele, Eye was jeest wahndeereeingue, seeince jou doan' have a ween on jour recorde een five mahnths.

Adams pauses for a second.

Adams: Well, then, I guess it's time for you to face the music, Bulldust - I'm going to take you down. My losing streak is going to end, and you are the one that is going to get punked.

Bulldust: Jou reeleey theeinke dat jou cayeen beete mee?

Adams: Bulldust, I know I can beat you. And I think that there's some news that you need to hear.

Bulldust: End whate ees dat?

Adams looks at Bulldust with fury.

Adams: It's time for you to FEEL THE REVOLUTION!

And with that, Adams drops the microphone and throws a punch! Suddenly, the two begin to brawl, and take it all the way to the back, with the fans cheering all the way. Interesting way for Adams to kill the image of a clumsy and useless wrestler. Nobody told me, that's for sure.

Overall: 53%

Shaun Draw vs. Doc Dean

Some pretty basic entrances here, with Doc just acting like the crowd-pleaser, and Draw coming out looking pissed, as usual, with a new shirt saying, "I Dropped Out of Anger Management". Apparently, we're going to be selling tee-shirts in the near future. Either way, unlike the previous match, no words exchanged here, as Draw immediately grabs Dean and hits him with a gigantic punch! Dean drops to the mat, and Shaun immediately begins stomping away at Doc, and it continues for so long that Dean eventually gets to the ropes, and the ref has to stop Draw from continuing the beating. Shawn backs off, and Dean begins to use the ropes to stand up. Just as Dean steps away, Draw rushes in, but Doc sees it coming, and hits the running Angry Man with a gigantic drop kick! Shaun drops to the mat, and Doc immediately stands. Quick running senton onto Draw, and Dean immediately goes for the pinfall. Kickout at two. and as Dean stands, Shaun rolls to his hands and knees. Wind-up from Dean, and a drop kick to the face! Shaun goes flying back, and Doc runs to the ropes. Running elbow drop, and Dean gets another two-count. And I go on a popcorn break. Y'know, the video really helps with this sort of thing - the pause button works wonders, so I can pick up right where I left off. Shaun begins to stand, and Dean immediately goes for a punch. But Draw immediately begins to glare. Dean tosses another punch, but Shaun doesn't feel it. And a third punch hits! BUT DRAW SUDDENLY LETS OUT A YELL, AND LARIATS DEAN'S HEAD OFF! Oh, he's pissed. Dean stands, and Draw whips him to the ropes. HUGE SPINEBUSTER! But wait! Draw isn't finished yet. He lifts Dean one more time, and whips him again. This time, though, Dean counters with a flying crossbody - NO! Draw catches it! Release fallaway slam...and Dean goes flying into the referee! Draw doesn't notice or care, and just grabs the smaller man in a front facelock. Here it comes - the ostentatiously-named Angry Plant of Anger, Doom, Pain, Torture, and Bad Hair Days (I don't get the last one, either). Draw makes the pin and waits for the referee, but...well, it's a good thirty seconds before the ref comes to and makes the count, which is just long enough for Dean to get enough energy to kick out. If Draw didn't have a reason to be pissed before, he does now. He stands and lifts Dean off the mat, but Doc suddenly throws a kick. And then another, and another. He places a toe kick at Draw's gut, it's blocked, and an enzugiri smacks Draw upside the head. Dean is holding his head in pain, but immediately goes to the nearest turnbuckle and gets up top. As Draw stands - missile drop kick! (Side note that is totally unrelated to the match - I love Kettle Corn.) And then a follow-up hurricanrana to Draw! Holds for the pin, but only gets a two-count. Dean stands and lifts Draw off the mat, and then immediately locks him in a front face lock. He backs towards the ropes - and immediately hits a springboard DDT, which Rich Cruz calls the Terminal Illness. Dean goes for the pin, and is able to keep Draw down barely long enough for the three-count. The video cuts to the announcers at this point, so I fast-forward through it.

Match Quality: 62% (Though they did put on a good match, the fact was that their opposite styles of wrestling formed a mish-mash of moves.)

Crowd Reaction: 32% (Compared to the opener, this was more just straight-up wrestling, so most AWO fans were slightly confused by the change in style.)

Overall: 47%

Drew Porter vs Matt Inferno

I go back to normal time when the video goes to the Matt Inferno comes out to a basic entrance, just music and boos from the fans. And Drew Porter's Old-School Face to Impersonate for the night? JEFF HARDY! That's right, body paint and all, Drew Porter is coming to the ring to the old guitar riff that the Hardyz used to use (though I've been told it's actually a re-recording from the AWO House Band, Borealis) - and now it's AWOmag-I-Nation vs Burn-I-Nation (well, a better premise than the original "two long-standing AWO wrestlers duking it out" idea, I suppose). Drew immediately rushes in and hits a flying clothesline, taking Inferno down. Quick whip to the ropes, and Porter pulls out an awkward drop kick, but it connects solidly. Just a note - Drew is six-one, but only about 210 pounds. Matt is five-ten, and roughly 185. So now you know how weird this looks, at least with Drew impersonating Jeff Hardy. Matt recoups, and delivers a huge chop to Drew. And another huge chop. Drew is at the ropes, and Matt gets ready to charge him. But Porter ducks and drops the top rope, sending Inferno flying. Drew then steps out onto the apron as Inferno uses the ringpost to raise himself up. And as Matt backs away, Drew runs across the apron and flies off with a WHISPER IN THE WIND! And Inferno drops like...erm...something heavy, inanimate, and non-cliche to use in that phrase. Drew stands, holding his back due to the drop directly onto the ground, and goes to lift Inferno. Matt responds with a punch to the gut, and then another, and another. And he then follows up with a quick bulldog. The referee is at five when Inferno comes back into the ring, and then slides back out, breaking the count. Inferno then rolls Drew "Hardy" Porter back into the ring. Quick whip to the ropes, and Inferno hits Porter with a clothesline that could have been better, but it was still okay. And Inferno slams Drew into the nearest turnbuckle, lifts him up onto the top of the turnbuckles, and gets onto the second rope. SUPERPLEX, AND PORTER TAKES A HUGE IMPACT, BUT SO DOES MATT! While the ref begins the double KO count, I just noticed the weird coincidence that a guy named Matt is facing a man impersonating Jeff Hardy. Either way, both men begin to stand slowly, and get to their feet at the same time. Drew and Inferno begin to trade blows, though they barely look believeable. Finally, block by Porter, followed by a chop, and then an awkward bodyslam takes Inferno to the mat. Whip to the ropes, and Porter hits a quick leg drop. Porter lifts Matt up...TWIST OF FATE! And with the fans cheering respectfully, Drew "Hardy" Porter manages to pull out the victory. Porter stands and goes to the turnbuckles, and does the old-school Jeff Hardy pose, arms swung out behind him and head arched forward. Once again, okay response from the fans, but nothing totally insane.

Match Quality: 69% (Some okay brawling, a Whisper in the Wind, and then a Superplex, and the match ending with a Twist of Fate, and this was actually pretty good.)

Crowd Reaction: 41% (Most of that came from the Jeff Hardy impersonation, but the superplex got a decent amount of cheers.)

Overall: 55%

And though we've only gone about 45 minutes total, entrances included, but we're already going to...

Intermission

And after this match, we have a quick intermission - even on the video, though on the disc, it's an advertisement for AWO videos. At that point, I cut out of the live event anyway, and told somebody to send me a DVD copy or a tape so I could do the write-up. Now, looking at the footage I really wish I had stayed long enough to keep people from changing seats. Or at least long enough to convince everybody else from not making a terrible, terrible mistake. But I didn't.

I recall saying to Katie, our chief medic, that if we ever brought it back, the AWO would keel over and die. Obviously, she didn't pass the message along. She didn't even mention it in passing. Because they brought it back. Obviously, the AWO isn't going to keel over and die, since I'm doing the show recap, but this apparently was the conversation that went on backstage.

-----BACKSTAGE (Via hearsay)-----

Ace: I still can't believe you convinced Nick to let you do this.

Ahern: Nick? He pretty much gave me free reign for this.

Ace: And Bob let you use it?

Ahern: Actually, I got one specifically for the AWO - the modifications were my idea.

Ace: You do realize that Nick is going to kill you, right?

And apparently, Bulldust came in at that point.

Bulldust: Guyees! Dees ees grayeete! Jou brawte eet backe! Gracias!

And he walked off.

Ace: Well, at least one person likes it...

Ahern: Trust me, this is going to turn out to be a good idea.

Ace: Or the worst idea ever.

Ahern: Ten bucks says it'll work.

Ace: I'll take that bet.

I think you get the idea...

--------------------------------

Though what, pray tell, did Ahern decide to bring back, and then modify? Well, I think that after this, it's going to become pretty clear. Though after this show, I hope that it doesn't return either for a very long time, or at all. The latter would be preferable, and you'll see why. But for now...

The Bob and Bucky are coming out

Though I'm wondering why The Bob is with him. Bucky is billed for a match, Bob isn't. But then again, actually, considering what's going on, I'm no longer confused. So they step in to the new ring and the Bob immediately gets a microphone.

Bob: HEEEEY!

Slight cheer, but nothing big. The fans are still settling in.

Bob: Now, I bet that you're all wondering why in the world the Bob is out here with the Master of the Diss, Bucky. Well, to tell you the truth, while it pains the Bob to say this, the Bob isn't the wrestler he used to be. But that does not mean that the Bob can not continue to be cool.

Slight cheer, what you'd expect from a crowd seeing a show like this.

Bob: Still, the Bob knows that since he can no longer defend coolness in the ring, he had to find somebody about as cool to do so. And ladies and gentlemen, that man is none other than Bucky! And with the Bob's help, he will escalate to new levels of cool!

Bucky takes the microphone.

Bucky: That's right! Just like The Peace Man is showing the Prophet the Way of Peace, the Bob is going to show none other than yours truly, Bucky, the Core Rules of Being Cool!

The fans once again cheer, albeit not over-the-top.

Bob: Now, you're probably wondering how this relates to what we're standing in. Well, Rule Number One of the Core Rules of Being Cool is that you have to be inventive! You have to be original!

Yes, and acting like a mix between Fonzie (from Happy Days, not Bill Alfonso) and Carlito is really original.

Bob: And as such, the Bob decided to bring out something that has never been seen before in wrestling! It has six turnbuckles, a twenty-foot diameter, no weapons underneath, and a surface that constantly changes, making the match that much more difficult, and that much more entertaining! Ladies and gentlemen, we like to call this...the TRAMP-O-RING!

And suddenly, the AWO die-hards (about a quarter of the crowd spattered throughout) begin to cheer their heads off, while our new fans (though not our returning fans that weren't around during our more stupid shows, God knows why) are a little less than enthusiastic. Okay, that's being optimistic. They were almost ready to walk out, but I think they stayed because they figured that if some people were cheering, there might be something to it.

Bucky: But unlike regular wrestling, a pinfall won't get you the win. A tap out will not get you the victory. No, you have to force your opponent through the ropes and off of the tramp-o-ring. And seeing as I'm facing the Prophet next, this is the exact right time to do it.

Bob: And the Bob is cool with that. Because the Prophet is definitely not cool.

Bucky: OH, DISS!

Overall: 54%

And now you know why I thought that if they brought it back, the AWO would die a slow and painful death. It's a trampoline! Admittedly, now Nick has less of a chance of breaking his head if he falls off of a turnbuckle, and just like TNA Wrestling, we can say that our ring is decidedly unique in the grappling world. But still...it's a trampoline. Okay, so it's got turnbuckles. So it's technically hiding a six-sided ring underneath that barely stays concealed under the apron due to the fact that the edge of the trampoline is pretty damn big so that it can keep enough tension on that amount of elastic. It's a trampoline, and I say it's ridiculous. But what do I know? I'm only the road agent. I only tell Nick when people are pissed off, or when I think that a match doesn't work. Ace and Ahern get to make the ring decisions around here. They get to handle all the technical aspects. And so I have absolutely no control over something as totally and utterly idiotic as...

(Edit from Nick: Obviously, I had to edit this out. He went on a rant that was about three pages long on a word processor, somehow brought in historical references like Napoleon, the Spanish Armada, Elizabeth I, George Washington, Karl Marx, Groucho Marx, Harpo Marx, Shemp from the Three Stooges, et cetera et cetera, and ended it with...)

We've got a six-sided ring under there! Why not just leave it at that, and forget the damn trampoline? Well, now that that's done with, I'll get back to the recap/review.

Bucky vs The Prophet

The Prophet comes out to some moderate booing, though it's kind of interesting - he's wearing clothing that's almost reminiscent of Christopher Daniels, with the semi-priestly garb and such, but his pants are definitely wrestling gear. Either way, he takes off the shirt, and we're ready to go. Bucky suddenly just jumps up into the air and comes down, immediately sending a wave through the sheet and making the Prophet stumble. Bucky bounces forward a couple more times, and just as the Prophet gets a handle on keeping his balance, Bucky comes in with a gigantic body splash, sending the disciple of Peace to the cloth. Half the reason that I said the AWO would keel over and die with this - the constantly moving surface. Hitting a clothesline is rather difficult, as the running is halted - as Bucky quickly proves by attacking with one. And an elbow drop (why, I don't know, since the ring has too much give for it to be effective, except that it does drive him down into the ring hidden underneath) from Bucky sends both men bouncing. Bucky slowly gets to his feet, pulling the Prophet along with him. A hip toss later, and the Prophet is at the ropes. Bucky waits for a few seconds as the Prophet gets to a corner, then charges in as best as he can (with a foot to go down before touching something solid, it's a bit awkward) and smashes the Prophet's head into the top turnbuckle. And a neckbreaker follows up. The Bob begins to direct the crowd to chant. Bucky tries to throw the Prophet out of the ring, but the Disciple of Peace blocks the toss and elbows Bucky in the face. A few punches follow up, and then the Prophet pushes Bucky back, sending him bouncing across the ring. The Prophet then begins to bounce towards Bucky, gaining more momentum as he goes...one bounce, two bounce, three bounce, and...ELBOW DROP! And everybody hears the dull thud of Bucky slamming back-first into the hidden six-sided ring. All right, so the Tramp-O-Ring might have a few positive aspects...oh, God, what am I saying. The Prophet takes advantage of the situation, lifts Bucky up, and goes to toss him off the Tramp-O-Ring. Bucky goes through the ropes, but manages to grab on to the middle one before he rolls off the apron (which is rather large). The Prophet is walking away, thinking he's dealt with Bucky, but as he turns around when he doesn't hear the bell, he's met with a gigantic springboard clothesline. Bucky's attack is a bit sloppy, but the Prophet sells it well. Bucky then begins to punch away at the Prophet, and then begins to drag him to the nearest turnbuckle. When he finally gets him there, he lifts the Prophet into the corner. Bucky then goes to grab the Prophet, but the Disciple of Peace grabs the Bob's protoge and tosses him into the corner. He then gives Bucky a few forearm shots for good measure. Finally, he lifts Bucky into a sitting position on top of the turnbuckle. The Prophet then climbs up to the top rope, albeit a bit dazed, positioned with one foot on each side of the turnbuckle. He then jumps, drops down onto Bucky's shoulders...AND HE HITS A FRANKENSTEINER (which Rich Cruz informs us is called the Forced Conversion)! But he twists his body as he does it, sending himself over the ropes, and pulling Bucky with him! Bucky smashes head-and-back-first onto the canvas-covered springs, bounces off, and lands on the ground beside the ring. The referee calls for the bell, and the fans are immediately booing. The Bob goes to check on Bucky, but just as he reaches the Master of the Diss and helps him up, the Prophet stands, gets back into the ring, and then uses the top rope to springboard off and land a gigantic plancha on both men! The fans boo as the Prophet slowly stands, leaving the Bob and Bucky lying on the ground, dazed. The video cuts to the announcers. And that's my signal to go grab a drink.

Match Quality: 56% (They somehow managed to use the ring to their advantage, but Bucky's wrestling wasn't quite as believeable as it should have been. Still, it at least wasn't fraught with mistakes...)

Crowd Reaction: 39% (All things considered, that's respectable, considering the fact that the ring is a damn trampoline - modified, true enough, but still a trampoline.)

Overall: 47%

You're Fired Match: Christopher Idol vs Drake Strata

Save for the fact that Commissioner Drake "The Dentist" Strata (the nickname is because it forms the acronym DDS - his nickname used to be Delta because he could make changes whenever he felt like it) won't be fired if he loses. And I mention that because he's coming down to the ring, and he's dressed very traditionally - a singlet with leggings over them. It's kind of like those images of Bret Hart that my son showed me, save for the lack of glasses and a jacket. Also, it's entirely blue. Either way, he's not getting much approval from the fans. And then the guitar music cues up, and out comes Christopher Idol, wearing a Weezer tee-shirt, black jeans, and sneakers, but instead of a guitar, he has a microphone.

Idol: WHAT'S GOING ON, AURORA?

Oh, new catch phrase, if he uses it often enough. And the fans respond with a cheer, of course.

Idol: I'll tell you what's going on. One of the hardest rockers in the land, yours truly, is being forced to go up against one of the hardest men to tolerate in the world, the Commissioner of the AWO. And what's more, if I lose, I'm fired.

Cheap boo.

Idol: The fact of the matter is, it just doesn't make sense. Kind of like a lot of band breakups, actually. There's very little logic and a lot of emotion and pointlessness to this match. But you know what? I say that if this is going to be a "You're Fired" Match, Drake, you have to have something on the line, too.

Slight cheer.

Idol: So, let's make it this - if you lose, you not only lose the match. You lose your job as Commissioner! So choke on that!

And he gives the microphone to a techie backstage before proceeding to the new and extremely gimmicky Tramp-O-Ring. Well, the fans wanted different, they've got different.

Anyways, Idol gets into the ring, ready to rough it up with Drake. The bell rings, and Drake and Idol immediately go for a quick lock up. Quick transfer by Drake to a side headlock, which causes a few seconds worth of a rest hold, but Idol begins to elbow Drake in the gut, which forces the Commissioner to release the hold. A quick double-leg takedown later, and Idol jumps onto Drake and begins pummeling him. Well, seeing as punishing your opponent with the ring is a bit difficult, this is a pretty good alternative. Idol gets Drake off the mat and places him in a front headlock, but Strata reverses into a release Northern Lights suplex. Idol bounces off the canvas (or whatever a trampoline is made of) and begins to stand, slightly disoriented, but Drake hits him with a drop kick, followed by a leg drop. Drake reflexively goes for the pinfall, but of course, the ref doesn't make the count. Drake stands, realizing the mistake, and lifts Idol off the ground. And he goes with another headlock, but this time, Idol sees it coming and pulls him back to the ropes. And he whips DDS off the ropes. As opposed to bouncing and tripping, Strata manages to get to the other side and rebound, but anticipating the return, Idol hits him with a running/bouncing drop kick. Elbow drop on Strata, and then Idol lifts Strata off the mat. Idol kicks Strata in the gut, and then places him in a standing headscissors! Idol lifts Strata off the mat for a powerbomb...wait, no, he falls back, dropping Strata abdomen-first onto the ropes! Strata bounces up, over, and he falls off the Tramp-O-Ring! The referee declares Idol the winner, and Drake is no longer the commissioner! Idol raises his hands, and gets off the Tramp-O-Ring. Meanwhile, Strata gets back on, and storms (well, at least as best as he can, since it's kinda' hard to stomp on semi-elastic material) over to the ref. The referee turns around, and gets a huge shot to the groin! Well, guess Drake is satisfied...

Match Quality: 65% (Acceptable standards, considering the ring is still pretty much stupid, in my opinion.)

Crowd Reaction: 47% (The fans were chanting, "NA NA, NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOOD-BYE!" after DDS took out the ref.)

Overall: 56%

Nick Adams vs El Bulldust

Before the entrances, Rich Cruz mentions that this match is not a regular Tramp-O-Ring match. Instead, it can only be decided by pinfall or submission. Well, normal wrestling for once. Good to know.

Adams comes out to The Offspring, but this time, he's really getting into the punk rock thing - spiked red hair, skater shoes, a spiky vest...to quote Bowling For Soup, "Can someone please save us from Punk Rock 101?" Still, just as he goes to get through the ropes, with the fans giving some respectful applause, he trips on the middle rope, falls into the ring, and bounces around a bit. As he rolls to his knees, the camera zooms in just in time to see him mumble, "Damn." He then slowly stands, looks around, shakes his head, and yells, "I'm okay!" Cheap pop, of course. And then out comes El Bulldust...with the same song as before...

Layeete mee knowe whene Aye've dahne wrongue

Wayeene Aye've knowne dees ahll alongue

Aye go ayrounde eh tyeeme oar twoe

Juste too wayeeste mye tyeeme weeth jou

Tayeele mee ahll dat jou've throwne awaye

Fyeende oute gayeemes jou doan't wanna' playe

Jou ahre dee onlee one dat needs too knowe

Well, the fans are booing him, so there you go. Either way, we're still in the Tramp-O-Ring, so it's TIGGER TIME...'cause both men just begin to bounce after the bell rings. That's right, they're just jumping up and down, trying to compete on who can jump higher. What is this, kindergarten? Wait, what am I talking about? We're using a trampoline...add a sandbox and we're pretty much one step away. Either way, eventually, Bulldust manages to get higher when Adams loses his footing and falls flat on his face, then bounces a bit as Bulldust begins to jump higher in order to gloat. But Adams slowly uses this momentum to move towards Bulldust, and right as he lands for about the 50th time, Adams pops up and slams him down with a heavy lariat. Both men stand, but Adams immediately hits a high roundhouse kick on Bulldust, subsequently loses his balance, and falls backwards. Bulldust, in the meantime, is holding his head, allowing Nick to try and get back up. Instead, he just bounces into Bulldust's legs, causing a pile of humanity to result. The referee begins to count the pinfall, 'cause it looks like somebody's shoulders are on the elastic...we just don't know whose. One, two..and both men break away from each other. Slow stand, and and Bulldust hits a forearm shot on Adams. And thus begins the brawling, as Adams and Bulldust begin tossing forearms back and forth until they get near the corner, and Bulldust throws Adams into the turnbuckle...chop ARR (because of David Michaels, the pirate champion)! Chop ARR! Lather, rinse, repeat, and finally, Adams slumps down into the turnbuckle. Bulldust backs up, bouncing the entire way just for the hell of it, then bounces towards Adams. And on the final bounce, he angles himself and uses his momentum...and smashes himself shoulder-first into the seated Adams! Now, there's a thin line between aggressive and crazy, and Bulldust just crossed it. With both men reeling, the referee begins the ten-count. Adams pulls himself out onto the very spacious apron, trying to recover. Meanwhile, EBD uses his arm (the one he didn't nearly kill) to pull himself up to standing position, and the ref stops the count at six. Adams manages to get back up to his feet as Bulldust stumbles away from the corner, and Adams jumps up to the top rope and hits a gigantic springboard hurricanrana! Bulldust goes bouncing, and Adams stands. Adams runs/skips/hops over to a rising Bulldust and drop kicks him right in the face. Adams goes for a quick cover, but only gets a one-count. Quick lift by Adams, but Bulldust blocks a suplex, and hits a vertical suplex of his own. And a second vertical suplex follows. It looks like he could be going for the Three Amigos made famous by Eddie GUerrero, but instead flips Adams down after the lift and turns it into a snap powerbomb! He holds on for the pin, but Adams kicks out at two. Quick whip to the ropes by Bulldust, but Adams jumps up to the second rope and hits a springboard crossbody, then continues by hitting Bulldust with some serious forearm shots. Bulldust is up, and Adams manages to hit the suplex this time. Adams grabs Bulldust...Side Effect! And Nick goes up top...which proves to be a very bad idea, as he leaps off, going for a Shooting Star Press, and turns it into a Spinning Shit Ker-Flop, as he over-rotates WAY too much and lands right on top of his head. This gives Bulldust just enough time to get up, see Nick splayed out on the mat, climb the nearest turnbuckle, and leap off with a BullSplash to get the victory. Bulldust celebrates, and Nick Adams slowly gets to his feet. Adams looks at Bulldust, and offers a handshake. Bulldust extends his hand, but pulls it back in a "Too slowe!" fashion, then walks off, leaving Adams in the Tramp-O-Ring, totally insulted.

Match Quality: 81% (Well, it was a great deal of effort, and despite the fact that he screwed it up, the Shooting Star Press attempt was somewhat impressive.)

Crowd Reaction: 44% (It was El Bulldust. What can I say? The love to hate him.)

Overall: 62%

Intermission 2

Because backstage, the conversation went something like this...

Tommy Chill: I refuse to perform on that crappy excuse for a ring ever again!

Ahern: But you never performed on it previously.

Chill: I've wrestled on a trampoline for this company. And once was far too much.

Ahern: But we can't just move the crowd again!

Chill: It's the main event! They'll move, trust me on that.

And so they did. So we're back in the regular ring, and I can see Nick coming back talking to himself. I'm guessing he's probably ready to kill Ahern and Ace, save for the fact that the Tramp-O-Ring allowed him to screw up without nearly killing himself. Either way, after that...

Red Sash of Courage Match: David Michaels {C} vs Tommy Chill

Oh, just in case anybody was wondering, I finally figured out what orchestral music Michaels comes out to. Apparently, it's not from "Pirates of the Caribbean". Instead, it's actually from "The Flying Dutchman" by Wagner. Pretty good music either way. But that's irrelevant to this match, since Chill is immediately looking to wrestle. And he shows it by immediately beginning a brawl with Michaels, who is shown to be somewhat out of his league, as he falls after about three exchanges, and Chill begins to stomp away. The referee gets him to back off, and David slowly stands. Once again, Tommy goes for some brawling, but Michaels immediately fires back with some quick shots, just getting in there and fighting off the Polar Bear. Michaels finally gets Chill up to the ropes and hits a chop (ARR!), and another, and another, and finally, Chill has to grab the champion and knee him in the gut. Chill follows up with a huge body slam and an elbow drop that only garners a two-count. Whip to the ropes from Chill, but Michaels comes in and hits a neckbreaker on the monster, and then a knee drop for good measure. Chill is up, and Michaels hits a knee...and then another, and another, and we finish up with Michaels doing a double underhook suplex. Pinfall, but Chill just tosses Michaels off. Whip to the ropes from Chill, and then Tommy hits a gigantic powerslam on the champ! Michaels reels in pain as Chill stands and waits for Michaels to get up. And as he does, Chill goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Michaels hits the Polar Bear with a forearm shot, and then another, and another, and finally kicks the larger man in the gut. He hits Chill with a gigantic DDT, impacting with such force that Chill flips onto his back. Michaels immediately goes over to the nearest turnbuckle and yells "ARR!" to the fans before jumping off with an elbow drop, and getting the pinfall victory. And what, pray tell, do the announcers call it? The Crow's Nest Dive. Of course. Either way, we close off with the champ celebrating his victory, which the fans still cheered.

Match Quality: 70% (Pretty good, considering they had to have David win while making Chill still look dominant.)

Crowd Reaction: 50% (And we finished on a high note.)

Overall: 60%

(OOC: Okay, looking over your predictions, and then looking at the results, Beeker, it's kinda' creepy that you guessed half of them correctly...and also guessed a few things that I was gonna' write up during the show. Of course, if you're not reading this...well, there you are. For anybody else, thanks for checking this out, and feel free to drop in with an opinion or two. Later!)

Overall: 54%

Attendance: 158

Gate: $3160

[Nick Adams]

And once again, "The King" Harley Race is sending me e-mails. Well, good to see he...has a lot of information that I really can't use, but it's nice to keep up-to-date, I suppose. Still, have a "friend" work for a wrestling magazine does have its perqs...

TO: Nicky V, Da Boss ah da AWO

FROM: "Da King" Mistah Race

SUBJ: Read Dis, Or I Break Ya' Legs

Okay, soah Ah got a bit carrahed away. We jes' had th' FBI (of ECW fame, nawt th' Feds) in th' office las' week, an Ah thawt it'd be kinda' fun...ah, whateva'...

Oh, by th' way, Ah desahded t' mention th' Eh Dubya Oh t' summa' th' guys heah, an' on of 'em desahded t' write an article abou' cha an' th' rest o' the boys. Ah jes' gave 'em the info t' write th' article. It's recent as o' "The Internet Rules You", oah howeva' yuh actuallah typed that up...anyway, on t' the real reason that ah'm sendin' ya' a line.

NJPWID

- Aftuh takin' ovah this flailin' companah, one-tahme AAA ownuh Antonio Pena took this companah on a National tour. An' jus' t' prove his poin', he made sum new hirins...

- Mike Rapada: Foahmah NWA Champ tha' hel' th' bel' when th' NWA was all but a memorah

- Marty Jannetty: Th' guy tha' use' t' tag with Shawn Michaels.

- Eddie Mustang: S'long as they doan' give him a horse gimmick...

- Tim Jackson: An' he's Japanese...riiiight...

- The Demon: Oh, great, KISS Impresshuns...

ROH

- Just sum cleanin' out, as they released Ricky Reyes, Jack Evans, John Walters, Mark Briscoe, Masada, an' Rocky Romero. Well, best uh luck to 'em.

- Still, this was moah a kinda' revolvin' door idea, since they wen' an' made a few hirins on th' side.

- Yuji Nagata: NJPW stah, prolly can jes' jump in an' work the ROH style.

- Mike Sullivan: NWA rassler, should be a good introduction.

- Alex Andrade: More of a MMA guy, from what ah know, but ROH is right up his allah.

ECA

- They wen' an' got themselves a TV show on Spike TV, but with both th' 'E earlier in th' night, an' JAPW competin' agains' them on th' USA Network, they gon' have one helluva hill to climb.

- Due t' this, they released some people that couldn' fully commit t' keepin' filmin' dates.

- Alex Andrade: Agreed t' the ROH contract befoah consultin' with Jim Crockett.

- Eugene Jackson: Not enough talent t' keep him aroun'.

- Jens Pulver: Good rassler, but nawt charismatic enough.

- Rich Franklin: Ditto.

- Tsuyoshi Kosaka: It was mutual.

- Glen Ruth: Bein' tha great-great-great nephew of "The Babe" George Herman Ruth didn' quite work foah him, so they let 'im find somewheah else t' rassle.

- El Samurai: Japanese and Mexican in th' same name. Need Ah say moah?

- Chaz Warrington: Friend o' Ruth, desahded t' leave when he did.

- Yuji Hisamatsu: Once again, a mutual depahchuh.

IWA-PR

- They brought in sum new talen' foah theah shows in th' southeastahn US, but eventuallah had t' cancel th' planned run due t' low attendance figures. Due t' this, they had t' fahre April Huntah an' Andy Anderson.

- Still, durin' this, they picked up some people...

- TAKA Michinoku: EVIL! Tha's about it.

- Jorge Estrada: An' he's an Elvis impersonata'. Th' South is alahve an' well!

BCW

- Well, yoah pal Mal an' his bunch, 'long with Uncle Francisco, all desahded tha' they prefer workin' wheah they ahre, so they awl jes' desahded t' stick with what works. But 'caus o' that, they had t' let go o' some people. An' befoah ya' get yuh hopes up, no, Mal wasn' part o' th' group.

- Jim Neidhart: Th' Anvil gets dropped.

- Branko Cikatic: 51, with little talen' an' less charisma.

TNA Rasslin'

- Jes' a regular month as usual with 'em. Hirins firs'.

- Joel Gertner: Foahmah ECDubya announsah an' managah uh th' Dudleyz.

- Nidia: Tuff Enuff? Heah's hopin.

- An' now, firins.

- J.R. Ryder: Talented, but asked foah too much cash.

- Nate Hatred: Too damn creepy, an' too easy t' affiliate with theah main rival, CZDubya

- Speakin' uh which...

CZW

- Made a few hirins, but nothin' big.

- Blitzkrieg: Foahmahly sumbody in Dubya See Dubya, now somebody else undah tha' mask...

- Matt Morgan: Frum the WWE's Tuff Enuff...speakin' uh th' 'E...

WWE

- They wen' an hahred Trent Acid.

An tha's awl.

Well, it allowed me to at least see who's on the market...and of course, none of them are either useful or want to work with us. Go figure...well, it at least allowed me to figure out the show for my Birthday Blowout...or whatever Ahern decided to call it. Well, either way, here's the advertisement that they thought up...

The AWO Presents

Live from The Ritchie Center at the University of Denver

There's something we haven't told you. The idiot that dresses like a punk rocker named Nick Adams also just happens to own the company. So, in honor of his birthday, we're just giving him the day off and naming the show after him. Also, we're giving free cake to the entire crowd...or at least those that want it. And you know why?

We Love Birthday Cake!

Still, just 'cause the fans are getting free cake doesn't mean that rivalries don't end. But it does mean that this is going to be one July to remember. The AWO's biggest stars are going to be in attendance, and there might even be a few surprises in store. So be sure to be there!

Confirmed Matches:

Jason Rumble vs Mark Out

- With the loss at the last show, Out wants Rumble to prove himself worthy as a tag team partner. If he wins, the Ultimate Marks stay together. But if Rumble loses, the Marksman is sending the AWO Fanboy packing.

Drake "The Dentist" Strata vs Shaun Draw

- With his loss to Christopher Idol, DDS has been relegated to being a wrestler in the company. Meanwhile, Draw is looking to bounce back from his loss to Doc Dean.

Drew Porter and Doc Dean vs The Upper Crust

- Since David Michaels won the Red Sash of Courage, Porter has been without a tag team partner. Porter and Dean hope to prove their abilities in the ring against the more experienced combination of the Upper Crust.

Bucky vs Tommy Chill vs El Bulldust vs Christopher Idol

- With the Red Sash of Courage lacking a number 1 contendor, this match was made to decide one.

Also, the champion, David Michaels, will be in attendance! Don't miss it!

And that's all.

[Beeker00Zero]

Nick,

I nearly missed it, but I didn't, as it wasn't until your Harley update that I realize you were updating the aWo again.

I do enjoy this stuff.

It's like finding a book by a favourite author that you never knew existed.

Eh, I don't feel like recapping the show itself, but El Bulldust continues to be a favourite. And am I the only one going to call Nick Adams (the EWR Superstar) "Crashpad?" And did Mal leave the aWo? Konrad might just cry!

And techically I went 4/7 with bonus marks for my preview calls. The Ultimate Marks dissention, Nick Crashpad's Shooting Star... Oh Shit!, Jeff Hardy Tribute Persona...

Good to see the Pirate retain!

[JStarr]

lol, america

[Nick Adams]

(OOC: So, after a hard drive crash, letting this diary simply disappear, and a run with a different version of this that quickly gained my apathy and really made me want to hire Emil Sitoci and turn him into Lucha for the hell of it, along with a more realistic version of backyard wrestling - my "One man's rise in wrestling" diary is still alive, by the way - I discovered that I'd backed everything up, the game and every single document in this diary included, on an external hard drive. So, what's that mean?

El Bulldust is back.

We still have a pirate as our champion.

And most importantly, this is now quite ironically a diary set almost a year in the past, when I was four months ahead of real time when I made the last post. Either way, I'm bringing this sucker back - maybe (depends on my mood and my work ethic, and how much Script Frenzy kills my creativity). I'll do my best to keep it updated if I do. Hopefully I'll be ahead of the real world in a while, although it's gonna' really take some doing. If not, well, at least I had fun with this while it lasted, I suppose. But as it stands, this is the birthday party that I wish I'd had.

On with the show, shall we?)

July 16, 2006

The Aurora Wrestling Organization presents...

Live from the Ritchie Center at the University of Denver

We Love Birthday Cake!

And as a special treat for the fans that happened to come early to the show...

The first thing that we can have that can actually be labeled "Recorded Earlier"

Either way, the scene fades in on a larger version of the AWOSheet to display none other than "The Marksman" Mark Out, sitting in some random locker room. He's taping up his wrists, and he's dressed in just tights, black boots, and a vest. He's looking pretty focused, when suddenly, Jason Rumble walks into the room, dressed in jean shorts and a tee-shirt. He looks really excited.

Rumble: Mark, I get why you're testing me. I know I let you down last month. But I was just wondering if we're still cool, even if I lose.

Mark looks up at Rumble.

The Marksman: What?

Rumble: Are we still okay, even if I do lose this match?

The Marksman: Let me get this straight...

Mark stands up and looks down at Rumble.

The Marksman: You have been shadowing me every chance you get. You lack enough creativity to do anything besides idolize me and copy me. We have not won one a single tag team match together. NOT ONE!

Rumble just backs away, holding his autograph book close to his chest.

The Marksman: But I have never been able to defeat you. Actually, come to think of it, I have never won a match against you. Maybe I shoulda' asked for a tag team match, instead uh facin' ya'.

Mark pauses.

The Marksman: So let me put it this way. I'm a man of my word. If you lose, the Ultimate Marks are over. If you win, I'll stay as your tag team partner. But it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Mark gets right in Rumble's face - and Rumble seems like he's about to cry.

Rumble: But, Mark, I thought that...

The Marksman: And that's the bottom line, 'cause Mark Out said so!

Mark storms off, leaving a very disheartened Jason Rumble standing stock-still.

Overall: 50% (Now that was a good promo, considering what it was.)

And now...

LIGHTS! CAMERA! MUSIC! AND BECAUSE OF THE EXCEEDINGLY HIGH CEILING, AND THE FACT THAT THE DU OFFICIALS COURTEOUSLY TOOK DOWN THEIR CHAMPIONSHIP BANNERS, PYRO! And, of course, free cake for the fans! Oh, by the way, this is Nick. For the first time, we're being totally professional - announcers are doing a direct feed to the video production booth, which is actually right next to them. We've got our trifecta of cameras again, with Ace, Ahern, and, for some reason, Miranda, operating them. Ahern is just recording three different feeds, and operating the lights by remote. For some reason, Victor is running the videos and music that we set up - guess Ahern couldn't figure out the logistics for that. Either way, Ben and Rich welcome us to the show, and...

GLASS SHATTERS!

And Mark Out comes to the ring with cheers and boos, since some of the fans agree with his reasoning, while others don't like the way he acted towards Jason.

And then...

GLASS SHATTERS AGAIN!

And Jason Rumble runs down to the ring and slides in. And so we've got...

Jason Rumble vs Mark Out

Guess Jason doesn't take rejection well, since he's immediately laying in to the object of his fandom with some hard lefts and rights. Mark goes for a shot against Jason, but Rumble steps in and immediately hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex that sends Mark flying overhead. Jason immediately gets up and rushes over to a surprised but standing Mark Out, who only receives a Lou Thesz Press and a lot of punches to the face! Rumble gets off after the ref got to three on the DQ count, but Mark is still sufficiently floored to allow Rumble to get back to his feet and take stock of the situation. However, Out gets to his feet quickly, and as Rumble steps in, the two men begin to brawl heavily. Finally, Rumble takes a wild swing, and Mark steps behind Rumble. He immediately runs up behind Rumble and hits a gigantic bulldog, then stands and begins kicking away at Rumble's side. The ref began the DQ count after Rumble got to the ropes and Mark keeps kicking away. At four, Out finally backes off. The AWO Fanboy slowly raises himself and steps away, but Mark rushes in. However, in a display of something slightly different, Rumble trips up Out with a Heel-Toe Takedown. Immediately afterwards, Rumble locks in an STF. Quick little submission hold there, and it's decidedly shades of when Rumble was still known as The Boston Bad Boy. However, he executes it too close to the ropes, so Mark just reaches out and grabs them. Rumble lets go immediately, but he's decidedly energized at this point. (Yes, the quick turnaround is barely believeable, but what can you do?) Either way, as Mark got to his feet, Rumble rushed in and hit Out with a huge drop kick, sending The Marksman over the top rope and out to ringside! Rumble stands, waiting for Out to come back in. But Out just stands up and stares. The referee begins the count, and Rumble just looks at Mark - it seems like The Marksman is conceding defeat! At the ten-count, the announcement is made. Mark comes back in, carrying a microphone.

The Marksman: Well, kid, you know what I said. I'm a man of my word. You won, fair and square. So, the Ultimate Marks are still on the map.

Rumble smiles and extends his hand, glad that he hasn't lost both his mentor and his tag team partner in one night. However, Mark looks at Jason's hand, then gets a decidedly devious look in his eye. At the last second, he drops the microphone, kicks Rumble in the gut, and delivers the Moment to him! The fans are going crazy, and Mark grabs the microphone again before standing.

The Marksman: But as I said, I agreed to be your tag team partner. It sure as hell doesn't mean I have to like it!

The fans boo at this turnabout, but Out just keeps going.

The Marksman: And if you don't like it, you can GET OUT!

Well, you have to love new catch phrases. Still, that's gonna' be an odd situation, to be sure.

Match Quality: 58% (Pretty well-done, all things considered.)

Crowd Reaction: 42% (Tag team partners facing each other, and the Moment at the end...a bit contrived, but it worked.)

Overall: 50%

Some Serious Issues

The AWOSheet once again comes alive, and we see none other than Shaun Draw, sitting against a wall. His knees are pulled in, so we can't see his shirt, but he's staring blankly at the screen.

Shaun Draw: So this is it? I have to take on a fallen commissioner in order to gain some semblance of respect? I can't even challenge somebody whose defeat would give me some credibility?

Shaun lowers his head and shakes it from side to side.

Shaun Draw: Well, if that's the case, then I suppose that I must deal with it. But I am tired of being looked over. I am tired of being ignored. And tonight, I will prove that ignoring me is a very poor decision.

The scene fades, and the fans are left with a slight sense of curiosity.

Overall: 49%

Drake "The Dentist" Strata vs Shaun Draw

After the basic entrances, with Strata understandably coming first, Draw immediately comes in with some sloppy punches, but Strata finally blocks one and hits a gigantic clothesline. Immediately afterwards, Draw charges in, but Strata hits an arm drag. And another arm drag. Drake then goes for some seriously technical work, focusing entirely on Draw's shoulders and head. Namely, he starts hitting some knee lifts directly into that area, to the point where, had he been using more force, Draw might have a broken collarbone. Drake then hits a few kicks, and knocks Shaun to the ground. DDS immediately lifts Draw off the ground, and goes for a few punches, but Draw doesn't react to them. Finally, he got to his feet and began to shake furiously. Yep, he's getting PISSED OFF. The fans don't quite know how to react here. Either way, Drake goes for another punch, but Draw blocks it, and then yells loudly. However, Strata just kicks Shaun in the gut and hits a DDT! Wait a second! That wasn't just a DDT! That was The Angry Plant of Anger, Doom, Torture, Pain, Acid Burns, and Bad Hair Days (the name just keeps growing and growing and growing...)! Strata immediately makes the pinfall, and gets the victory! Once again, the fans are ambivalent, some booing, some cheering. As Strata continues to celebrate, Draw has left the ring. However, he slides back in, carrying a chair! And just as Drake turns around, DDS gets a bunch of steel to the face! Strata drops, pretty much out cold, and Draw drops the chair, before walking out. Well, at least he was noticeable...

Match Quality: 57% (An okay match, wrestling-wise, and the stealing of the finisher by the ex-Commissioner, probably "Because he can," was a nice touch.)

Crowd Reaction: 38% (Honestly, the fans enjoyed it well enough, but they were somewhat ambivalent about how they felt about each wrestler, which made things complicated.)

Overall: 47%

Drew Porter and Doc Dean vs The Upper Crust

Well, obviously, the Doctor came out first. And then "Old School" Drew Porter. And who is he this time? "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes. Well, honestly, I kinda' liked Dusty's style when I saw old tapes of him, so it works. And, of course, it actually makes sense that he's impersonating Dusty, because the Upper Crust is the height of snobbery.

In a strange and non-AWO moment, I suddenly realize that we're not doing the AWO's patented "tag"-style tag team match. Well, this is a rarity, folks - a real tag team match, in the AWO ring.

Either way, Doc decides to enter the match first, opposite of Alexander Worthington the Third, and hits a clothesline. He then hits another, and another, but AW3 finally ducks the last one, grabs Dean, and hits a vicious back breaker. Worthington throws Dean towards his corner, and tags in Duke Danger or Argh. A double snap suplex follows, and the Duke gets into the ring. An elbow drop results, followed immediately by a pinfall, which results in an easy kick-out. The Duke puts him back in his corner and tags in Worthington. They proceed to do a double beat-down in the corner, but stop before the referee finishes the disqualification count. Worthington steps in and goes for a snap suplex, but Dean blocks it and whips Worthington across the ring, then follows up with a basement drop kick. Not wasting any time, Dean immediately tags in Porter, and Drew suddenly starts punching anybody and everybody that he can find. However, The American Nap's attempts didn't quite stop the Upper Crust, because they suddenly hits a double clothesline on his wild punching. The ref sent Danger back to the corner, and Worthington lifts Porter off the mat. However, Porter suddenly grabs AW3 and hits a body slam on him. A tag to Dean follows, and Doc goes for a missile drop kick on AW3 - and misses by a mile, since Alex had moved out of the way at the last minute. Worthington goes over to Porter, grabs him by the head, and immediately drops down, bouncing Porter neck-first off the top rope, and down to ring side. AW3 then goes and tagged in the Duke, before they went and hit what they call The Exclusion. The pinfall resulted. However, they weren't finished, and hit a double Guerrilla Press slam over the top rope on Dean, leaving both men in a crumpled heap, before going backstage.

Match Quality: 71% (A good match by AWO standards, even if it wasn't phenomenal in comparison to some other companies. And for once, we didn't hear the phrase, "You're it!" even once.)

Crowd Reaction: 42% (Good little bit of involvement from the crowd, especially at the end of the match.)

Overall: 56%

The Cold Shoulder

Tommy Chill comes out to the ring immediately afterwards. The fans begins to boo loudly at the Polar Bear, but Chill seems not to care. When he grabs a microphone, the fans boo even more loudly.

Chill: I realize that I lost my match for the championship last month. I know that you people hate me. And I know that, quite honestly, I really don't care about either fact.

Cheap boo.

Chill: I am the best man to challenge any champion for the Red Sash of Courage. I am the only one that should have the right. Take a look at the rest of the roster. Everybody else is a joke compared to me, whether or not you pathetic people realize it.

Another boo.

Chill: This match is merely a formality. At the end of this, you will all know that the Polar Bear is the most vicious animal you have ever seen in the ring...and that includes the Legion of Doom.

Wow. Now that was arrogance personified. Not a bad speech, although not the best.

Overall: 65%

Number 1 Contendor's Match:

Bucky vs Tommy Chill vs El Bulldust vs Christopher Idol

This match is under elimination rules, but unlike some other companies, the AWO places every last wrestler in the ring in a situation like this. No breaks, unless you want to be a sneaky SOB and let everybody else duke it out. For the sake of brevity, let's just say that the "Seeingeeingue Sensayshun" comes out mutilating the theme for The O.C., "California" by Phantom Planet. Somehow, he gets even more boos than "The Polar Bear" Tommy Chill. And then Bucky comes out, and while the fans show that they have some interest, it is waning. However, finally, out comes "The True Idol" Christopher Idol, and the cheers finally came on. With the bell rung, the gigantic brawl begins. However, nobody really expected wrestling to be involved. So when Bulldust suddenly hits a hurricanrana on Bucky while Idol futilely attempts to fight off Tommy Chill, the fans were pleasantly surprised. Bucky takes a flying lariat from Bulldust, while Chill immediately started to pummel Idol in a corner. The referee pulls Chill away from Idol, and the Polar Bear obliges, but only so he can run in and hit a gigantic (and aptly-named) avalanche body splash. Bucky counters a DDT attempt by Bulldust with a Northern Lights suplex, releases it instead of bridging. Meanwhile, Chill sets up Idol...CHILL FACTOR! Idol is down, and he's been pretty much squashed. Pin results in the three, while Bulldust and Bucky lock up. Quick universal headlock spot between Bucky and Bulldust ends up with Bucky on the advantage. However, Chill, wanting to assume dominance in the ring, immediately went and hit a Chill Factor on the unsuspecting Bucky. For the sake of security, he hits another one, and then gets the second pinfall. Bulldust was content to let him have it, but immediately after Chill stands, Bulldust hits him from behind from a top rope El Bulldawg. He then hit Chill with a tornado DDT. However, he pauses to pose for the fans, allowing Chill to regain his footing. When Bulldust turns around, Chill hits him with a Chill factor, and then gets the three count. With the fans booing, Chill stood and walked out, his point proven.

Match Quality: 68% (A fairly good match, considering that it was pretty much a Tommy Chill squash, with Bucky, Bulldust, and Idol doing a lot of the work rate.)

Crowd Reaction: 48% (And of course, the fans got into it well enough, although the fact was that they didn't quite appreciate Chill railroading everybody after failing to take down a smaller opponent at the last show.)

Overall: 58%

A Champion Challenged

And immediately after this, "Caribbean Ice" David Michaels comes out to the ring to the acclaim of the fans, the Red Sash of Courage wrapped proudly around his waist. With "The Dutchman's Theme" from Wagner's The Flying Dutchman still playing, the fans truly appreciate\ that the champion is in the building, even if the belt is technically speaking just a big red piece of cloth. He climbs into the ring, microphone in hand, and climbs up one of the turnbuckles, standing on the middle rope.

Michaels: ARR, MATEYS!

An easy cheer results.

Michaels: Well, ye were promised that the champion were to be here, and so here I be!

Another cheer.

Michaels: Well, ladies and gents, if ye were watchin' the previous match, ye all know that once again, Tommy Chill be the one ter challenge me fer my belt. But that's not until next month.

Slight pause, no cheer, but the silence is respectful.

Michaels: However, I will tell ye this - just like last time, I'll beat him fair and square in the middle of this ring. Ye fans know that I am, quite frankyl th' best o' the AWO roster, an' this sash here proves it! And if Tommy Chill thinks that he can win the second time around th' ring with me, he'll find that when he tries it...

David raised his head back and began to yell.

Michaels: I'LL BLOW HIM OUT OF THE...

Suddenly, some Japanese-styled techno music came over the speakers, abruptly interrupting our champion. The lights begin to have a strobe effect, and the AWOSheet displays a video of Japanese Zero fighters from World War II flying in formation, before being replaced by a Japanese military ensign. The fans are somewhat confused, and so is Caribbean Ice. Onto the stage walks an interesting-looking Japanese man. His pants have the symbol of the Rising Sun going down them, and his shirt simply says "Genki Horiguchi" in English on the front, and Japanese symbols on the back which are presumably also his name. He's carrying a microphone.

Horiguchi (?): Now, I realize that you're in the middle of a pathetic tirade that does absolutely nothing except get the fans yelling for no reason. However, as idiotic and yet paradoxically entertaining as that is, I think that you probably should do everybody a favor and STOP SPEAKING!

An easy boo results.

Michaels: Now hold on just one...

Horiguchi (?): Are you deaf? Does your vocabulary display any sort of intelligence? Or has piracy just caused you to become so foolish that you don't even understand the meaning of "stop"? I suppose I'll have to resort to words slightly less intelligent.

Michaels: What arr ye doin, you...

Horiguchi (?): Let me say what everybody else is thinking, when I tell you to SHUT...THE HELL...UP!

And the fans really boo loudly. Telling a fan favorite to shut up will do that.

Horiguchi (?): Oh, please, you really think that what he had to say was important? In my country, when we have something to say, we get right to the point and say it! And you know what I'm saying? That this company is a joke! Even the worst groups in Japan are better than the AWO! And this excuse for a champion is a large illustration of that fact!

Michaels: Hold on right there!

Horiguchi (?): And I am going to...

Michaels: All right, ye pretentious, pompous Nipponese man! Stop yer speechifyin'! If ye want ter insult me, that's just fine! Ye can insult me clothes, me speech, me fightin' - ye can even insult me booty. But the moment that ye insult the Red Sash o' Courage, or th' AWO, ye go a bit too far!

The fans cheer.

Horiguchi (?): Oh, really? And what are you going to do about it, you buffoon of a buccaneer? "Arr" me to death?

And boos from the fans.

Michaels: No. I intend to be a bit better than that. I plan ter show that I truly deserve to be the champeen of th' AWO, an' that fer all of yer blabbin', there's no way in hell ye can defeat me.

Horiguchi (?): Right...and this should interest me, Genki Horiguchi, why? Really, why should I care?

Michaels: Because...I be puttin' the championship on th' line! RIGHT NOW!

Horiguchi - his identity confirmed, considers the offer for a bit.

Horiguchi: If you are putting your title on the line...I ACCEPT!

And Genki runs down to the ring to the cheers of the fans, who are being treated to this unexpected title match.

Overall: 72%

Red Sash of Courage Match:

David Michaels {C} vs Genki Horiguchi

And I guess that this is the main event. Horiguchi wasted no time, going from the dead sprint to jumping up to the apron to springboarding off the top rope and smashing Michaels in the face with a gigantic springboard leg lariat! Horigucs out after only one. Horiguchi stood and yelled something at the referee. Michaels took advantage of Genki's momentary lack of attention to hit an inverted vertical suplex. A couple kicks to Horiguchi's side followed, and then the pirate backed away, waiting for the new man from Japan to stand, Michaels raises his arms to get the fans to cheer - and gets the desired result. As Horiguchi stands, Micheals immediately runs in, going for a type of DDT, but Horiguchi clearly counters it into a bridging Northern Lights suplex! Kick out at two, but Genki just stopped the champion's attempt at a rally cold. Mounted punches follow up until the ref nearly DQ's the Japanese man for using closed fists. Horiguchi proceeds to argue with the ref, allowing Michaels to come from behind and hit a swinging neckbreaker. Michaels lifts Horiguchi up and hits a standard neckbreaker, then stands and hits a standing elbow drop pin. Two-count results. Michaels stands, pulling Genki up with him, and whips him to the ropes. However, Horiguchi comes back with a huge flying crossbody attack. A second-rope springboard splash follows, and then a springboard leg drop. Horiguchi places Michaels in the corner and goes for an avalanche - Michaels avoids it! But Genki jumps to the top rope! Wait! David jumps up and hits a super back suplex! Neither man is standing, and the referee begins the knock-out count. 1! Both men are still dead on the mat! 2! Michaels begins to stir. 3! Horiguchi starts to roll. 4! David places a hand on the bottom ropes. 5! Genki gets onto his knees. 6! David pulls himself up. 7! Horiguchi starts to stand, and the referee breaks the count. As Michaels steps away from the ropes Horiguchi walks in, bent slightly. Michaels immediately goes for a high kick to Genki's head, but Horiguchi ducks it! As Caribbean Ice spins around, he gets a face full of mist! And, unlike in the WWE, in the AWO, that's grounds for a disqualification! As Michaels rolls on the ground in pain, Horiguchi looks at the referee in anger. Genki then wipes his mouth off...and spits mist directly in the referee's eyes! Horiguchi storms off, looking angry, and leaving the Red Sash of Courage champion down on the ground. A nice chorus of boos followed.

Match Quality: 65% (A decent match, considering Horiguchi pretty much showed Michaels somewhat out of his league, and resorted to using mist when he probably could have won cleanly.)

Crowd Reaction: 51% (Well, at least we finished on a high note.)

Overall: 58%

---------END SHOW---------

Overall: 57

Crowd: 154

Gate Sales: $3080

[Nick Adams]

And of course, Harley Race, my once would-be boss and current magazine writer, felt the need for a monthly update. However, unlike his usual updates, this one was a bit more interesting...and decidedly not Harley's standard fare of what he normally sends me. In fact, this was far more interesting.

From: Harley Race

To: Nick Adams

Subject: Mah Recen' Article

So, ah s'pose ya' been wonderin' wha' mah job actuallah entails. Wayell, noahmallah, ah wouldn' botha' yah with mah work. Ah jes' like keepin' in touch. Still, ah think that this is mah bes' work yet. Ah hope ya' like it.

TWO BIG BOW-OUTS

- by Harley Race

The wrestling world was recently rocked by two very shocking announcements. Two of the most well-known names in wrestling have announced that they are retiring. Not since Hulk Hogan retired have such well-known faces in wrestling They have been mainstays in their respective companies for years. While they have not always been loved, they have been prevalent forces. And both of them have announced that, come the end of August, they will leave from active in-ring competition. They both come from wrestling's new Big Three, and both were involved in the Monday Night Wars. They have bold held World championships, and the fans have cheered and booed them. Their careers have been questionable at points, but they are storied.

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WWE - Shawn Michaels

Of the two, most people will say that HBK is by far the more recognizable individual. In his storied and well-decorated career, he's been hated, he's been controversial, and he's been loved, but he's always been one of the best in the business. Although his ego may have gotten the best of him a few times, he's become known as a locker room leader. His storied career has had its highs and lows, but the highlights are definitely interesting. In short form, some of his more well-known accomplishments are as follows:

- Coming in with Marty Jannetty as The Rockers, becoming a very well-known tag team. Most people believed at the time that Jannetty was the one destined for greatness. However, HBK has decidedly proven everybody wrong, going much farther in his career than his former partner.

- Participating in the first ever ladder match. True, he lost to Razor Ramon (the former ring name for the still-controversial Scott Hall, who now wrestles for CZW), but it didn't really matter, as Michaels became respected by many fans after this point.

- Being the only man to win the Royal Rumble from the #1 position.

- Participating in a 60-minute Iron Man match with the venerable Bret Hart, and winning, with only one pin fall resulting from the entire contest. This was the first time that he captured the WWF Championship, but it was decidedly not the last.

- Being part of the stable created as a counter-balance for the then highly-successful WCW group called the new World order - D-Generation X.

- Joining the WWF's version of the nWo, and becoming a major force in it until Kevin Nash was injured.

- Winning the first ever Elimination Chamber match to capture the World Heavyweight Championship.

I had the opportunity to conduct a sit-down interview with The Showstopper himself. These are the questions that I found relevant.

Why retire now?

Honestly, I think I've done all that I can in my career. I've held the WWF Heavyweight title three times, I won the World Heavyweight Championship, I've held the Tag Team Championship, I've held the Intercontinental title, I've got two Royal Rumble victories to my credit...the list goes on, but really, I think that I should go while I'm still on top.

Does it have anything to do with losing the World Heavyweight Championship to Christian in June?

That's partly why I'm leaving the business. With guys like Christian taking the helm of the WWE, it seems like a good time to let the younger guys come up in the company. Sure, you've still got people like Chris Jericho, Triple H, The Rock, and Steve Austin - all men that I respect, mind you - guys that defined the Attitude Era, and are still capable of entertaining the fans day in and day out. But I think that Christian's victory spells out that it's time to let some of the younger guys take the helm of the company.

Are there any other reasons?

Well, I'm getting on in years. At some point, you have to admit that you just can't go anymore. Hulk Hogan is - no offense to him, really, but it's true - a good example of somebody who's wrestling far past when he should. We can't all be Ric Flair, taking anything and everything, and come out the other side still being able to put on great matches until you start receiving Social Security. I just want to know that I left the business before I started getting too far past my prime. Plus, I've got a wife and kids. Having a six-year-old and a two-year-old constantly on your mind makes you start to think about what you really can do in the ring - you take less risks. And sometimes, risk is exactly what's needed, meaning that you lose the match.

So your family...?

That's right. I'm not saying that my career isn't important. But if I had to choose between keeping my career, or being able to see my kids go to their high school proms, and graduate college, I'd choose my kids any day of the week.

Do you think either of them will follow in your footsteps.

(Laughter) Well, a lot of people get hype for being a second or third-generation superstar. Randy Orton is a good example. The Rock didn't play it up as much, but everybody knew he was following in the footsteps of his father and his mother's father. Honestly, if my son or daughter wants to go into the business, I'll be up front with them about how tough it's going to be, even as kids of The Showstopper. But if they really want to do it, I'll support them

Do you still plan to stay involved in the wrestling industry after you retire from active competition?

That's still up in the air, really. For now, I've just got one last ride at SummerSlam, and then we'll see where I go from there.

Thank you for your time.

Sure thing.

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TNAW - Jeff Jarrett

Michaels' retirement, although shocking, was not entirely unexpected. However, Jarrett's recent decision to stop wrestling is far more unforseen. His career up to this point has been just as storied, and even more complicated. His story goes between multiple companies - in other words, company loyalty has never quite been his strong suit.

- He tarted in WWF feeder feds, came in as Double J, the arrogant country singer, a gimmick which he still holds to this day.

- He actually fought Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon, gaining the Intercontinental title twice during his first stint in the WWF, before a contract dispute caused him to leave the WWF.

- He joined the WCW in a slightly interesting angle, where his status as either part of the Four Horsemen or the nWo was up in the air, until Ric Flair invited him into the Horsemen. He was later kicked out and feuded with Steve McMichael, but left the WCW when he had issues with Eric Bischoff.

- He returned to the WWF as a degenerate of a different kind, abusing both men in the top companies verbally, and joining an NWA-based stable, before leaving it and reprising the Double J gimmick.

- Was the final tag team partner of Owen Hart before Owen tragically fell to his death.

- Took on yet another gimmick, this time attacking every last diva in the WWF that didn't support him, eventually being stopped by Chyna in his last ever WWF match.

- WCW took him in, and it was there that he developed his "Chosen One" gimmick.

- He was used in the angle utilized to discredit Hogan as a credible challenger.

- After WCW was bought out, he competed in World Wrestling All-Stars, and then started up TNA with his father. He became a man who eventually called himself as the King of the Mountain, holding the NWA World Heavyweight Championship title multiple times.

Seeing as he has been an integral part of the TNA roster since it began in 2002. his decision to leave what some jokingly call "The House that Jeff Built" (or maybe it's just what the people making this magazine call it) is somewhat surprising, although some events have forshadowed his choice. He has voluntarily removed himself from the title scene. He's slowly phased himself out of both the Wednesday Pay-Per-Views and Xplosion tapings.

Nobody really has asked why until now, but I managed to get an interview with him over the phone to discuss both his retirement and his recent actions.

Why did you take yourself out of the title picture?

It seemed like a good choice. TNA needs to branch out, and I couldn't let the rest of the roster immediately assume that I'd be the one to pick up the pieces when somebody else screwed up. That, and I really haven't been that involved in choosing the roster for a while, so TNA really isn't my company anymore. It's become something else - and I think that the roster of the new TNA deserves to see what that is without me in the picture.

Is that why you're retiring?

Partially.

Well, then, why not just go to another company? Why retire?

As I said, the new direction of TNA is only part of the reason that I'm leaving wrestling. It's also because I think I've done all that I can in the industry. It's like I've hit a plateau. I don't want to get to the other end of it and find that I'm going down the slope.

Do you think the plateau might be your own doing?

What, you mean pulling myself out of programming and matches? (Chuckles) That might be so, but there's a reason behind it. Really, the end-all be-all behind all of this is that, as you know, my wife has cancer. It's begun to interfere with my ability to participate in the company that I built. Thing is, when it comes down to it, family will always come first. And right now, I need to be with my wife and my kids.

So your family is why you've started pulling away from TNA?

That about sums it up. At the end of the day, I would rather be at my wife's bedside than standing at ringside, ready to start a match. It's really what matters. I might come back some day, but all things considered, WWE doesn't want me, CZW is full of maniacs, and TNA deserves to find its own identity without me. Starting a new company would be interesting, but I'm not looking too far forward.

Anything else you'd like to add?

I think I've said everything I need to say.

Then thank you for your time.

Thanks for calling me.

----------------------

Two men, both driven by different reasons to leave the industry - and I talked with both of them. However, they do have something similar. They're both retiring for something far more important - family.

----------------------

I hope that ya' lahked th' article. Obviouslah, I wrote it an' sent it ta th' editah befoah sendin' it to you. Well, tha's all foah now.

Well, that was interesting. Not your normal fare from Race, that's for sure, but I liked it well enough.