ITT Ollie plays Final Fantasy VI

[probablyoliver]

Okay, so those who frequent the Ring likely know that I'm currently on a mission to watch ROH from the very, very start. It's a gruelling task and I have to put up with a fair amount of garbage to do so. I don't consider it a job for I'm not getting paid for it nor do I consider it a hobby because holy crap I wouldn't put myself through half the shit I've watched for funsies. I consider it a vocation. A service if you will. I'm posting it not for the benefit of myself but for the benefit of you lot. It's for the benefit of those who aren't so well versed in the ways of Ring of Honor so they can maybe get an idea of what's worth going back and watching and it's for the benefit of those who have already seen it all so they can reminisce on how bloody wonderful Paul London was and remember how ruddy woeful Quiet Storm was. It doesn't get as much discussion as I'd perhaps like it to but maybe it will when we start hitting the good stuff in '04/'05. Either way it's kinda fun to do.

This is sort of the same and sort of different. The first difference is that this doesn't involve watching wrestling, like, at all. This thread won't include any frog splashes, tiger drivers or cobra clutches. There's no title belts, no irish whips and there's certainly no referees. Nobody is going to get hit by a steal chair in this thread and Steve Corino is definitely not going to be on commentary. Likewise nobody is going to be summoning the God of hellfire or using hi-potions in the ROH thread. It's a subtle difference but a difference nonetheless.

The second difference is that whilst a lot of what I'm watching in the ROH thread falls under the category of 'nostalgia'. I've seen a lot of it before and though there's some things that will be new to me (much of 2002, the Punk/Raven feud and the origins of the Pure Title to name but three) I'm still watching it with a great deal of hindsight. I know who wins what and I generally know how everyone gets from point A to point C. For the ROH thread it's the point B that I'm watching for, the little things and the intricate details that I missed first time round. It's also to assess how I've differed as a wrestling fan because oh my, how I've changed since I started. I was, as recently as yesterday, looking at some old, old posts I'd made and I'm ashamed to say that I used to be that guy who referred to wrestlers as 'Botchtista' or 'HHHitler' or 'Randy Boreton' and I also used to be that guy who thought Matt Hardy was a good thing. Now I'm a lot older, I'm a lot more refined in my tastes and it's fun to compare fifteen year old smark me with twenty-two year old casual fan me. This is different because, well, it's all new to me.

I've never played Final Fantasy VI before. Shock horror.

Yep, you heard me right, the guy who has always an active regular within the Final Fantasy thread has never actually played what is -with the possible exception of VII- the definitive Final Fantasy game. At this present time I could name you precisely zero of the characters with the exception of Kefka, and the only thing I know about Kefka is that he's a bit of a shit. I don't know his mission statement or his magnum opus, I just know that whatever it is, I need to stop him from doing it and that is literally the extent of my Final Fantasy VI knowledge and I'm pretty sure I need to change that, like, now.

And so that brings us to the here and now where I, Oliver J. Oliverson (The J stands for 'Jecht's Final Aeon') will boot up my COMPLETELY LEGAL copy of Final Fantasy VI on my ABSOLUTELY GENUINE Game Boy Advance and tell you guys all about my adventures and misadventures, my good deeds and misdeeds and my quest to stop the evil Kefka from, uh, well, doing whatever it is that Kefka is doing. In doing so I hope to bring forth a bit of discussion about the game, the characters within, the staples of the Final Fantasy series and how much things have changed in the twenty odd years since it was first released and hey, hopefully there'll be some laughs along the way.

So wish me luck guys.

And oh yeah; enjoy.

[Sousa]

Triple H - For the past few weeks HHHitler's been getting less reaction than when he was champ, yet he's the same overness. I'd say 90 for King Nose.

[probablyoliver]

...Yup. That was me, guys. That was me.

[Ruki]

Spoiled for Ollie's sake.

There may be no frog splashes, tiger drivers or cobra clutches....but....THERE WILL BE MOTHERFUCKING SUPLEXES

[probablyoliver]

Ooooooh, did you see the post in which I literally called JBL a cancer? Good times.

[Sam]

You're in for a treat, it's a beautiful game and a great story, it's amazing how those sprites suck you in, also Kefka is amazing as is Ultros, but I shan't say anymore until you encounter them!

Edited June 14, 2012 by Sam

[Sousa]

To be fair, I looked back at some of my earliest posts, and I don't fare much better. "Wow guys, I sure do hate the Supercena even though I've only seen him wrestle for maybe two weeks! Do you guys like me yet?"

[gunnar hendershow]

My earlier posts here are horrific, fortunately EWBIII is gone for eternity so we can't relive those memories of me being a 14-year-old prick.

But anyway, you made a good choice and have fun. I'd certainly like to sit down and play through an old Final Fantasy myself and talk about it as I go, so glad to see someone is doing it. I won't give you any recommendations for what to do, but you can't really lose the game (it's honestly a bit easy) just miss out on a lot of goodies.

[probablyoliver]

Chapter One:

"The ancient War of the Magi...

When its flames at last receded, only

the charred husk of a world remained.

Even the power of magic was lost...

In the thousand years that followed,

iron, gunpowder, and steam engines

took the place of magic, and life slowly

returns to the barren land...

Yet there now stands one who would

reawaken the magic of ages past,

and use its dread power as a means

by which to conquer all the world...

...Could anyone truly

be foolish enough

to repeat that mistake?

So there's our prologue. Pretty epic, huh. From the get-go I can see we're all in for castles and steampunk and all things that Final Fantasy should be. My favourites out of the last seven games have always and always be IX and XII and the majority of that is the whole castles and knights and dungeons and dragons style of them so in the first twenty seconds I'm thinking this won't disappoint.

Our story starts with these three half man, half machine sons of bitches atop a snowy mountain and wheyy, it's our good ol' buddies Biggs and Wedge. I'd make a half arsed AVALANCHE pun but it wouldn't be very good. We're told that our green-haired ladyfriend is a witch and she killed a metric shit ton of soldies with magic or something but it's alright because she's a mindless puppet with whatever it is on her head, she won't even breathe if Biggs and/or Wedge don't order her to, which seems a little excessive but hey, hopefully they're just being sarcastic.

Then they walk for a while because I guess Nintendo wanted to show that 3D was at least kinda possible back in '94. It's amazing to think how far viddy games have come since. If time travel were possible I'd love to go back to like, the mid 80s and show someone what Red Dead Redemption looks like because I'm pretty sure it'd blow their friggin' minds. After some walking and them some more walking we reach our first town and we're apparently looking for something called an Esper but I'm sure they'll explain to me what exactly an Esper is later one. Before our triple threat get a chance to go looking though...

...Ambushed by a god damned Silver Lobo. I kill it with something called Thunder Magitek but let's be honest, it totally had it coming and to the victor go the spoils of a potion and 30gil, just what a wolf was doing with money is a completely different story. The whole 'Oh, this non sentient being that you just maimed and killed had about forty quid on it' is one of the things I've always questioned about Final Fantasy games, but hey, that doesn't even scratch the surface of batshit mental that is these games so I figure I'll let that one pass. Guards and more wolves attack for King and Country and they all die quick and painless deaths at the hands of our terrible trio. Turns out the 'magitek' armor being worn makes it impossible to go through doors or narror alleyways so the only option is to proceed straight to where Biggs believe the Esper is being kept- the Narshe Mines. The guards are pretty adamant that we're not allowed the Esper and so they throw us what I can only assume is our first boss.

A lightning Welk! Terrifying. As is the case with any first boss it's got a certain strategy, that being don't hit the shell because otherwise it'll get all murdery. But as is also the case with any first boss in FF, it's piss easy to kill and so a few magitek missiles to the face and it's as dead as disco.

After the battle we find our Esper and apparently it's frozen. Looks like we're going to battle it but before we get a chance Biggs and Wedge disapper into thin air and our heroine shares some sort of lightningingy kinship with the frozen beastly. Sparks fly and the screen blacks out. When the lights come back on our lady is in bed somewhere completely different. Intrigue aplenty. We're told she was enslaved by a slave crown, which makes sense really and then we get a pretty cool introductiony screen; "a mysterious young woman, born with the gift of magic, and enslaved by the Gestahlian Empire..." Apparently her name is Terra. Cool. I was going to call her Denise but then I realized that I should probably keep her actual name for the sake of discussion later.

After getting back to her feet Terra impresses everyone with her ability to remember her own name but nothing gets explained as a couple guards barge in and try and get our old man helper to give Terra and her armor because something to do with it being property of the Empire. He doesn't seem to want to give the girl up and pushes her out the back door. Unluckily it leads directly back to the mines. Terrable times, eh? Terra makes her way to the top of the mines and gets cornered by guards but there's a hole in the floor, and she's outta there. She lands hard and it's sepia-toned flashback time.

So this is Kefka, eh? Turns out he laughs a lot, especially when imperial soldiers get fried. Then we meet Gestal who seems to be the King of the Empire and he gives his troops a speech about world domination. Intrigue aplenty x2.

I figure that's a good spot to stop for now. We've been introduced to Biggs & Wedge, Terra, Kefka, Gestal and the Empire and as far as I can tell the action is now switching to some guy in a blue vest and a bandana. We'll find out who he is tomorrow. Less than an hour in and it already seems fun, we've got intrigue and war and that seems like a logicl starting point for any (re: all) Final Fantasy games. Good times.

[Sam]

I love Kefka's laugh. And Terra is such an interesting character.

[Sousa]

Maniacal 16-bit laaaaaaaaaaugh.

[gunnar hendershow]

Kefka's laugh is one of the more iconic parts of the game I must say.

[TKz]

If Ollie continues to take breaks every 15 minutes this is going to be a long playthrough. >_>

[probablyoliver]

I have a short attention span. >_>

[Benji]

If Ollie continues to take breaks every 15 minutes this is going to be a long playthrough. >_>

In fairness to Ollie, FFVI tends to work in segments of about 15-30 minutes, aside from dungeon heavy areas. It's quite a fast paced game in terms of area advancement.

[NobBe Nobbs]

In unfairness to Ollie, he smells and is u-g-l-y he ain't got no alibi.