Nerf

You mean exactly how England have been trying to produce youth talent for decades and failing, while clubs on the continent pretty much do exactly what you're suggesting is wrong to greater success?

16 goals in five years...

Has there been any mention of when this is planned to go ahead?

Looks like we're infiltrating them from the inside. Daddy's coming, Virg!

Salah will take the #11 while Firmino swaps to #9. Thank fuck! There was talk that Mo would wear #9, which would've been bloody blasphemy for a winger.

Ah... arson, battery, vandalism, likely murder and just general disrespect. Yep, Seth's WWE babyface turn is complete.

A couple of my answers have already been mentioned, so I'll toss in OITNB and The 100 too. Both first seasons seemed like a breath of fresh air at the time, but I've gradually become less interested in both as time has gone on. I tapped out of The 100 midway through the latest season and haven't gone back to it, and I just don't care that new OITNB is out.

There's only one Mousa Dembele!

Yeah, I suppose that would be a massive consideration given he's been unable to get players to play how he wants.

He'll be getting a totally different Dani Alves to the one he managed.

This seems like the time they bought Maicon for no reason other than they could. What about the Kyle Walker stuff?

Leicester is a great example. They held on to Mahrez and Vardy and in turn lowered the coffers and had to settle for buying players a step below the quality they needed to consolidate. Had they got those two big pay-days along with Kante, we might still be talking about them as a Top 6 team as they could've invested heavily. Instead, they had to take the Southampton gamble I mentioned and it didn't pay off. Look, I know fans of smaller clubs won't want to hear it, but there's something of a glass ceiling for them. Leicester is literally a once in a lifetime fairytale. You're far more likely to end up like Aston Villa after they tried to push on and become a Top 4 team. Short of being bought out by owners with a bottomless pit of money, selling your best players is the only way to reinvest in your squad and balance the team to maintain your position. Trust me, I had to live through the Hicks & Gillett era at Liverpool.

I'd be inclined to be much more pissed off now than before, but Saints fans can't seem to see the forest for the trees. They seem to want to push for Europe, but that isn't going to happen bar the odd fluke season, and Everton are waiting to close that gap before they do. They've been enjoying a cushy Top 8 life on the back of their model, and might be in for a reality check if they break from the mould. Fans won't want to hear it, but they're actually in quite an enviable position. Their club can only attract gambles, half of which will pay off and another half that won't. Their comfortable top half existence is entirely down to the model they've been employing, which is having the big clubs financing their gambles by taking the breakout star of that season's pack. They use that money to invest in a new set of gambles, and whichever one keeps them mid-table is the one who moves and funds the next round. The cycle repeats. That's just the reality, the same way teams like Liverpool are, to a lesser degree, this kind of feeder club for the Barcelonas and Real Madrids of the world. There is a clearly defined food chain in football, and clubs are setting themselves up for danger if they try to break from that. What happens when they don't sell Van Dijk? Great, he stays, but their transfer budget is diminished, they can only afford for a lesser quality player, and less of those gambles pay off. All of a sudden, they've swapped their comfortable mid-table existence for a bottom half finish and their 'dignity.' Now, this is all redundant as I largely believe the Van Dijk stuff is purely posturing, whether it's to maintain credibility with fans or to enhance their bargaining position or both, but sometimes fans would benefit from remembering that you can't always break the glass ceiling. For every Manchester City, there's an Aston Villa. For every Chelsea, there's a Newcastle. Showing ambition doesn't lead to success, and can sometimes end in dramatic failure.

Without agreeing a fee? That's tapping up

It doesn't really matter what kind of fight it is. With the way McGregor leaves himself exposed to the counterpunch, Mayweather will have a field day.

Alternatively, fans burn the Emirates down by October.

Oh look @stokeriño, the Liverpool/Chelsea penultimate match of the season is back!

Spurs fail to make the Top 4 United continue to be stuck in perennial Europa League hell Arsenal finish 3rd City win the league Huddersfield go down despite a valiant fight and being the token "breath of fresh air" club Newcastle finish comfortably mid-table Crystal Palace make an unexpected assault on the top half Stoke are unlikely relegation candidates

Hey, I just occasionally leak things to EWB. This was a coordinated strategical play by LFC that backfired badly.

Smokescreen to panic Roma into compromising over Salah I reckon. They're under pressure to balance their books by the end of the month, so we probably think they'll panic and let him go cheaply if they genuinely think we're looking elsewhere.

Well, their issue is obviously us talking to the player before finalising the deal with them, in which case they probably regret giving us permission to talk to him in March... Worst case scenario is a chump change fine. Even then I don't see it happening. In all likelihood they've already started 'tapping up' his replacement themselves It's probably a case of Van Dijk having put a spanner in the bidding war they were hoping for by rejecting City and Chelsea, so Southampton need another way of driving up the price, and thus they've dreamt up some threat to make it seem like they have a bargaining chip. It's all a bit silly really.

Don't have a leg to stand on tbh. I imagine it's them just trying to save face with fans after selling us another player. Van Dijk's been talking to City and Chelsea too by all accounts, so they'd surely have to report them as well. Plus, y'know, every reliable source has us with a fee agreed with Southampton, with us just needing to agree a payment structure. As I said, it's a PR move and I highly doubt anything will come of it. Literally nobody has cared about 'tapping up' since Ashley Cole anyway, even if we were guilty, which I'm pretty sure we aren't.

Update #3! Echo now reporting he's informed Liverpool his intention to move to Anfield.

Cheick Tiote has apparently collapsed in training and... died? It feels like a hoax but actual media outlets are reporting it too.

Lots of chatter doing the rounds on Twitter that van Dijk has agreed terms with Liverpool. This follows stories emerging on Saturday about him specifically asking Wijnaldum what it's like to play for Klopp. Not sure how much substance there is to any of this, but fucking hell it's unbearable. Promised myself I wouldn't get sucked into silly season until there's a lean or I have otherwise solid information, but genuinely can't help but be desperate for this move to happen. Would arguably be our biggest signing of the Premier League era - a genuine world class talent in his prime for big money while fending off interest from two richer clubs. Madness. Oh, Ladbrokes and William Hill have both suspended betting on him moving to Liverpool. Stop playing with my heart like this.