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Don't worry, Homer. I have a fool proof strategy to get you out of here: surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. I tell you, the judge won't know what hit him!
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That's why you're the judge and I'm the... law... talking guy.
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Now, Apu, Mrs. Simpson claims that she *forgot* that bottle of... delicious...bourbon. Brownest of the brown liquors...so tempting. What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial!
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I'm not wearing a tie at all.