jonnycomelately

I am currently watching the Colts-Texans game right now after listening to a slew of jackasses say all week that Indy had to watch out for Houston. Peyton Manning is shredding the Texans just like he has done to every defense he's faced this year. #18 scares every offensive coordinator in the league and now that Dallas Clark is 100%, watch out because Peyton now has SIX legitimate targets (Harrison, Wayne, Stokley, James, Pollard, and Clark) that defenses need to worry about. I feel bad for the teams that have to play the Colts the rest of this season. After the Colts dropped to 4-3 a couple of weeks ago, people were sayinf that the Colts might not even make the playoffs and that Jacksonville had a stranglehold on the division. Now Byron Leftwich is out and everyone is trying to get back on the Colts ship. Well fuck you bitches, especially Steve Young and Michael Irvin, you two assclowns can't keep a stance for more than 10 minutes. And all you Patriots, Chiefs, and Jags fans out there who are snickering because you beat this team, you better check your shit at the door because if Edgerrin James could hold on to the ball in the cold and the Colts secondary doesn't all shit the bed at once...Oh Lord it's gonna be a whole bunch of beatdowns getting served this second half of the season.

USC will be number one until somebody knocks them off it is simple as that, and the national title game barring a setback should be USC vs Auburn. It would be interesting to try to see SC's shaky run defense go up against Ronnie Brown and the Cadillac. MATT LEINART FOR THE HEISMAN...

Top 5 Worst Teams in the League 1. Atlanta Hawks (no positive comments) 2. Chicago Bulls (Luol Deng is filthy) 3. Charlotte Bobcats (on the rise though) 4. Golden State Warriors (Mike Montgomery...what were you thinking?) 5. New Orleans Hornets (just because they lost to the Hawks)

Now that the process has been outlined I have taken it upon myself to jump the gun and start playoff predictions...just because I am bored and have nothing else to do because I can't watch the Jets, they bore me. AFC PLAYOFFS AFC North Winner- Pittsburgh Steelers AFC South Winner- Indianapolis Colts AFC West Winner- Denver Broncos AFC East Winner- New England Patriots AFC Wildcards- San Diego Chargers, New York Jets Wild Card Round Colts over Chargers Jets over Broncos Divisional Round Steelers over Jets Colts over Patriots Conference Championship Colts over Steelers (MY BIAS HAS GOT THE BEST OF ME) NFC PLAYOFFS NFC North Winner- Minnesota Vikings NFC South Winner- Tampa Bay Buccaneers NFC West Winner- St. Louis Rams NFC East Winner- Philadelphia Eagles NFC Wild Cards- New York Giants, Seattle Seahawks Wild Card Round Rams over Giants Seahawks over Bucs Divisional Round Vikings over Seahawks Eagles over Rams Conference Championship Vikings over Eagles (PHILLY CHOKES AGAIN!) SUPER BOWL COLTS 59 VIKINGS 56 (OT)

Carl Pavano pulled a Javy Lopez. He put together a couple of mediocre seasons and then as every athlete tries to do...puts together a Cy Young calibur season in his contract year. He's very shaky and if a team out there is looking to pick him up and make him their staff ace, ala Baltimore, watch out because you are gonna get burned. Pavano was the #3 in Florida, I think that is about the highest level of pressure he can take. BRAD RADKE TO LA...

From what I've seen so far, to create a decent belt you need to rack up a shitload of Smackdown! Dollars. Other than that I have no idea about what the belt options are. For the amount of time it takes to create a good one, you better be able to use the damn thing in season mode.

It was just a matter of time before Dirt McGirt was under the dirt...that guy was a funny dude but he was such a mess I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Shimmy Shimmy Ya Shimmy Yo Shimmy Yay Gimme the mic so I can take her away.

There aren't two more sets of annoying fans in America than these two groups. One isn't happy with making it to the playoffs every year and one wins one championship in 86 years and they feel the need to shit that fact down every one's neck. And Red Sox fans, stop saying WE, you do not play for the team, you do not own the team, fuck most of you go to Fenway maybe 3-4 times MAX a year. You and the Red Sox are two separate entities. However though now that I think about it there is a worse set of fans...and their team is the Patriots.

William Green and Joey Porter getting in a fight before the game? What a bunch of dumbasses. William Green is Cleveland's leading rusher and Joey Porter is the heart and soul of the Pittsburgh D, this will change the tide of this game. But at this point it's 7-3 Pitt and the Bus is chugging away...

Dont believe in the Raptors...the winner of the Atlantic division will have no more than 45 wins...write that down. They will break down as they do every year (outside that one conference finals run) and as Mike Tyson so elequently put it "fade into Bolivian". I think the most solid team in that division is Boston, and being a Knicks fan that pains me to say. They are the best rounded team in the second worst division in basketball and should easily wrap up the 3 seed. If they don't they'll just be being the new Celtics again. And for the Pistons repeating...it looks very solid as now Ben Wallace has learned how to score...not well but better than he used to be able to. Also Indiana has shit the bed and their rash of injuries will set back their season. And for all Hornets fans out there, all 7 of you, find a new team because last night your team lost to the HAWKS...worse than the Bobcats, worse than the Nets, Holy Shit...THE HAWKS. I am starting a petition right here and now to contract the Hawks, they are an embarrasment to professional basketball and have been for about 8 years running now and should be put out of their misery. SIGNATURE #1 Jonnycomelately

Wow, Michigan really shit the bed today. Every analyst on every sports show picked them to kill Notre Dame. I gave ND no chance. But they were bound to choke...just not this early I thought. Plus they still have Iowa, Minnesota and the ever important Ohio State on the schedule. This may be a rough season for Big Blue. Maybe John Navarre wasn't so bad after all.

Florida State vs. Miami is always a good game every year, with the Seminoles choking it away some how. Both QB's stink so I think it's gonna come down to who's defense can take advantage of mistakes. Man Chris Rix is awful. Another funny thing is I was watching ESPNnews today and they were debating how Notre Dame was going to bounce back and beat Michigan. They pulled a Mike Tyson. They hand-picked the opponent (BYU compared to Danny Williams) and they lost. What gives them the upper hand over Michigan all of a sudden? I think they'll play better than they did against BYU but they'll still get messed up. And finally the Paul Pasqualoni era at Syracuse needs to end. They are not that good of a team any more but they are in a major conference and they got royally shat on by Purdue. It was difficult to watch. DIFFICULT.

Kevin Brown's surgery was successful and he says he'll be back for the playoffs. For the Yankees sake he better because if their postseason rotation features Esteban Loaiza, they are going to be in some serious shit. And I have made my pick for the World Series...and it's the St. Louis Cardinals. They absolutely shalacked my team, the Dodgers, and their pitching is starting to really turn it on now with Carpenter, Williams, Morris, Marquis, and that bullpen (minus the Isringhausen explosion) pitching like a World Series champion should. I'd like to see my Dodgers win it this year but I don't think anybody from either league is getting past the surprise buzzsaw that is the St. Louis Cardinals. BELTRE FOR MVP.

That is some funny shit. Imagine if that incident with the Browns didn't happen a couple of years ago. He would've been getting drilled with glass bottles. Nevermind...G-G-G-G-G-G-G-GET OFF THE FUCKING STAGE! I'm sorry, I just needed to get that out.

If Baron Davis goes anywhere it will probably be a West Coast team seeing how he's a UCLA product. If New Orleans even trades him at all expect him to go to the Lakers. They would believe that it would at least take some of the scoring pressure off Kobe Bryant. The Lakers on the other hand would have nothing of immediate value to trade to New Orleans unless they would be willing to part with their first round pick from this year, Sasha Vujacic, which they more than likely won't. The dumbest scenario I've heard has Baron Davis going to Utah for Matt Harpring and a draft pick. Did Utah brass see Carlos Arroyo play in the Olympics? I don't know. And Baron going to the Knicks, unless he grows a foot in a month out of nowhere he is of no use to them.

Coolio is my Dad: QB Matt Hasselbeck, Jake Plummer RB LaDanian Tomlinson, Kevan Barlow WR Javon Walker, Marvin Harrison TE Antonio Gates, Randy McMichael RB/WR Justin Gage K David Akers DEF Miami Dolphins

Hate to break it to ya bro, but you already have the Packers defense.

Jonnycomelately picks Justin Gage, WR Chicago Bears

Delfino hasnt played at all for Argentina, and played sparingly in his time in Euroleague. But he's young and his reputation as a shooter/slasher got out at last year's pre-draft camps and the Pistons drafted him knowing full well he wouldn't play this past year. So he's gotta be decent. As for Okafor, Duncan picks up his ticky tack third foul, put him in. Lamar Odom should not be playing center ever. Okafor could provide the one thing that USA lacks DEFENSE! But interior defense is the least of their problems. How can you not get around a simple high screen 12 TIMES! It's one of the most basic fundamental sequences in basketball and our Nightmare team can't figure it out. It's just sad and I hope they lose to Italy again.

Adrian Beltre hit his 41st home run last night, he's hitting .338, is fourth in the NL with 95 RBIs and the Dodgers have been a surprise team (not as much as St. Louis) this year in the National League. How does he rank as a candidate for NL MVP with Rolen, Pujols, and Bonds (even if the Giants miss the playoffs)?

Jonnycomelately takes Philadelphia K David "Green" Akers Dundundundundun DUN DUN!

They should have just traded Quincy Carter for Vinny Testaverde and saved all the trouble. That's basically how it ended up anyway. The backup in New York became the starter in Dallas while the starter in Dallas became the backup in New York. Ain't that some shit.

That had to have been one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen in a long time in regards to basketball at the end of USA's win over Spain. The two coaches almost going at it. That's the Olympic spirit for ya. Over a timeout, which because of the overwhelmingly retarded international rules, was taken a great deal after it was "registered" with the scorer's table. That is because once you register the timeout you can't get uncall itor something like that. Nice to see USA get their shit together from downtown with Starbury finally playing like the point guard with a shot (31 points) that New York sent over there. I didn't know the Olympic record for men's scoring was so low though. And that of all people from the 1992 Dream Team to set it, Charles Barkley. I would have expected Chris Mullin over him. Not that Barkley wasn't a nasty scorer but look at the rest of that team. But no matter, I just hope that Doug Collins really quits calling Carlos Boozer a superstar everytime he tips in a bucket after he misses a three foot bank shot. Seriously, that shit just urks me.